Re: Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some help.

[Guest guest]

Luz,

I'm so sorry. I wish I had some words of wisdom more than my own

experience. We did the same thing you did - moved to a completely new

district.

For us it worked out VERY well.

We'r elooking at a possible move from TX to GA and now I have to

research schools yet again and hope to God that they'll be as good to

my son as this current school.

The first school we had Max in (for kinder) was so bad that I ended up

pulling him out to homeschool. In KINDER!!! They were HORRIBLE and as

far as I'm concerned should have their teaching certs revoked or

something. His teacher was AWFUL and the principal was just as bad.

The superintendent wouldn't allow us to change classes. They were all

morons.

Anyway, are there any other schools in that district that you've moved

to? I know out here I could move to any part of the city on the north

side and still be in the same *district*, just different elementary

school.

When we moved to this district, I interviewed the principal and talked

openly with her. She was definitely shocked at some of the things I

had to say (could resad it in her expressions), but we got such a good

feleing from her responses to our questions that we decided to go

ahead and enroll Max in first grade at this school. He's had an

outstanding experience and my only regret about my husband taking this

possible job in GA is that we'll lose a fantastic school.

Anyway, se eif there are other schools in the district that you can

bring him to. Interview the principal, tour the school, talk to other

teachers, be very frank w/ the principal as to why you're looking for

other schools. Also talk to the superintendent. You're obviously not

afraid of doing what you need to do legally, so don't forget about

that resource, either.

*hug* I know it's so hard. I hope I was helpful somehow.

~

>

> Hi All,

>

> We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could

really use some help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

>

> Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement

for several years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed with

supports. We tried for 2 years and determined that our district would

never do what was needed as they were not believers in inclusion (we

went through advocates, lawyers etc.). As such, we researched

districts and decided to put our house up for sale and rent in this

new district so that he could start anew. The new districts special

ed director determined that our son was too high functioning for their

in district self-contained and thus recommended we put him into a

regular 2nd grade with an aide and supposed supports. We were told

that the aide would be shared with one other child. The school year

began and the aide was not just for 2 children but several classified

children in the class (more than 5). The teacher had complained to

other parents that this was a tough class because she had so many

children with needs. We were

> immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has

progressed our son has clearly regressed in academics, attention,

behavior etc. His non-compliance is quite high, but according to the

teacher and the in district behaviorist, this is who he is and a

behavior plan would not help.

>

> In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan,

sensory diet etc. he has had major issues during lunch and recess

because they refuse to provide aide. The speech therapist stated that

this is life and he must learn to regulate himself. He has been hit,

teased, cornered, bullied and has gone into his own world even more.

The school stated that he is making it all up in order to seek

attention from me. The aide and the teacher have also lost their

patience with him and scream at him in front of the class that he is

rude. He did not want to participate in music class because the

volume scared him, but the aide and music teacher each grabbed an arm

and made him participate. The school's psychology report stated that

the kids do not know how to respond to him and have distanced

themselves from him. But the teacher states that everything is fine.

She stated that he was tiring and refuses to do new and challenging

work and that I should just not make him do

> it. Aghh!!!

>

> Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with

the IEP and formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son,

a behavior plan, training for the aide, sensory diet and more social

support as well as sensitivity training for the class. We were

officially informed yesterday that if these are the supports we feel

he needs, then he needs to go back to his old special ed placement.

We do not feel this is what is best for him, but we don't know what to

do. We would really like a district that believes in inclusion, but

that provides the supports needed to make it happen successfully. As

you all know, change is not an easy thing and my son has already gone

through so much that I am primarily concerned with his emotional well

being.

>

> Sorry for the long note, but I could use some help. What I wrote

above is only a fraction of the issues we have had, many more have

taken place.

>

> Again, thanks for any help that you could provide.

>

> Luz

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

The school district doesn't have to believe in inclusion - they have to

provide it (Free appropriate Education FAPE/IDEA section ....if that

is your son's Least Restrictive Environment (where he gains the most

education gaols).

With all of the negatives that have happened-most obvious his withdrawl

from social interations - something major needs to change. His

placement does not sound to me as his LRE. Qs to ponder: What does he

say? Would and 1:1 aide make him more cooperative? or change how he

reacts to situations? Ask to observe interactions at classroom, lunch,

etc. See what you think.

-Ann

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Your son is being bullied, both by the students and by the staff.

Both of these are in violation of FAPE (free and appropriate public

education). You tried it their way, with a shared aide and it didn't

work. Now he needs a 1:1 aide. If his teacher is so sure that a

behavior plan wouldn't work, call an iep and go for the aide. Have a

lawyer or an advocate on your team when you go. I'm so sorry that

he's having to deal with such insensitive louts such as his current

teacher and aide. Is there any chance you could switch teachers?

" Yeller " teachers are so destructive to our kids.

Liz

On Nov 17, 2006, at 6:44 AM, luz velez wrote:

> Hi All,

>

> We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could really

> use some help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

>

> Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement

> for several years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed

> with supports. We tried for 2 years and determined that our

> district would never do what was needed as they were not believers

> in inclusion (we went through advocates, lawyers etc.). As such, we

> researched districts and decided to put our house up for sale and

> rent in this new district so that he could start anew. The new

> districts special ed director determined that our son was too high

> functioning for their in district self-contained and thus

> recommended we put him into a regular 2nd grade with an aide and

> supposed supports. We were told that the aide would be shared with

> one other child. The school year began and the aide was not just

> for 2 children but several classified children in the class (more

> than 5). The teacher had complained to other parents that this was

> a tough class because she had so many children with needs. We were

> immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has

> progressed our son has clearly regressed in academics, attention,

> behavior etc. His non-compliance is quite high, but according to

> the teacher and the in district behaviorist, this is who he is and

> a behavior plan would not help.

> <

>

[Guest guest]

>From: luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...>

>Date: 2006/11/17 Fri AM 05:44:26 CST

>Aspergers Treatment , mosaic-list ,

njfamilieswautism

>Subject: ( ) Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some help.

>

>Hi All,

>

> We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could really use some

help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

>

> Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement for several

years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed with supports. We tried

for 2 years and determined that our district would never do what was needed as

they were not believers in inclusion (we went through advocates, lawyers etc.).

As such, we researched districts and decided to put our house up for sale and

rent in this new district so that he could start anew. The new districts

special ed director determined that our son was too high functioning for their

in district self-contained and thus recommended we put him into a regular 2nd

grade with an aide and supposed supports. We were told that the aide would be

shared with one other child. The school year began and the aide was not just

for 2 children but several classified children in the class (more than 5). The

teacher had complained to other parents that this was a tough class because she

had so many children with needs. We were

> immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has progressed our

son has clearly regressed in academics, attention, behavior etc. His

non-compliance is quite high, but according to the teacher and the in district

behaviorist, this is who he is and a behavior plan would not help.

>

> In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan, sensory diet

etc. he has had major issues during lunch and recess because they refuse to

provide aide. The speech therapist stated that this is life and he must learn

to regulate himself. He has been hit, teased, cornered, bullied and has gone

into his own world even more. The school stated that he is making it all up in

order to seek attention from me. The aide and the teacher have also lost their

patience with him and scream at him in front of the class that he is rude. He

did not want to participate in music class because the volume scared him, but

the aide and music teacher each grabbed an arm and made him participate. The

school's psychology report stated that the kids do not know how to respond to

him and have distanced themselves from him. But the teacher states that

everything is fine. She stated that he was tiring and refuses to do new and

challenging work and that I should just not make him do

> it. Aghh!!!

>

> Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with the IEP and

formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son, a behavior plan,

training for the aide, sensory diet and more social support as well as

sensitivity training for the class. We were officially informed yesterday that

if these are the supports we feel he needs, then he needs to go back to his old

special ed placement. We do not feel this is what is best for him, but we don't

know what to do. We would really like a district that believes in inclusion,

but that provides the supports needed to make it happen successfully. As you

all know, change is not an easy thing and my son has already gone through so

much that I am primarily concerned with his emotional well being.

>

> Sorry for the long note, but I could use some help. What I wrote above is

only a fraction of the issues we have had, many more have taken place.

>

> Again, thanks for any help that you could provide.

>

> Luz

Dear Mrs Luz

I have a 9 almost 10 yr son. We had alot of the same issues at our old school

and decided to built and move to another town.

I feel your pain. I right now am waiting for a aid and he is in 3 grade with 18

children and I am not sure if it is going to work but I am trying to let the

school try their best and then see from there.

You said you think he would be better in a regular class. What has he said about

all this? I know he is young and he is going through alot but our children with

asperger's with tell us if there is something they like and want. My son went

into the hospital for 9 days his meds were off and to find out he is bipolar on

top of everything eles. But he keeps telling me mom I really like the kids there

they didn't make fun of me and liked me. My heart just broke he now knows that

he is different from his classmates. I don't know if this will help you at all.

But remember you know your son better then anyone and you know what will help

him and you just keep fighting til you get what he needs.Remember we are our

childrens voices and we need to do all we can for them to get them through

school and life. I am doing this right now for both my sons. If you ever need

to talk you can e-mail anytime supermom9698@...

God luck

Anita

>

>__________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Yikes. This reminds me of a funny phrase from a joke page on IEPs, encouraging

a parent to ask, " Does the law have anything to do with this? " lol.

First, you have to start documenting everything that goes on. Write follow up

letters and notes to conversations - no matter how big or small. Keep a log of

all conversations. Ask them for their answers in writing. If they don't

provide that to you, note this in your follow up letter recording your question,

their response and your denied request to have this information in writing.

The regular classroom is the " least restrictive environment " (LRE) to start

with. The IDEA says that they want all kids included with the regular kids as

much as is possible. Kids then are pulled out according to their needs. For

some kids, having school in a smaller sped classroom might be their LRE. And

that's fine too. The IEP team must determine the LRE based on each child's

needs. Certainly, if a child can be in regular classes with appropriate

supports, then that is the preferred LRE, even if it costs the school money to

do so.

First mistake I saw in your email was when the school says the aide is for your

child and one other student with special needs, be sure that this information is

on the IEP. If it's not, then you can bet the aide will be doing more stuff and

as in your case, more kids to take care of.

Who is the in-district behaviorist? Is this a person with a degree in

behavioral psychology? Or just a counselor with a fancy title? Always get

these remarks documented in writing. I would write a letter even now stating

just the facts - " we requested a behavior plan on (date) and were told by Mrs.

Behaviorist " that our son could not have one because " this is who he is and a

behavior plan will not help. " Then I would write that " We respectfully

disagree. " I would re-state in writing that you want a " functional behavioral

assessment " (FBA) performed to help plan an appropriate behavior plan. You wish

to have this done by someone who knows autism and is an expert in behavioral

psychology. The law requires that they do this whenever a child's behavior

interferes with his education or the education of others.

<<In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan, sensory diet

etc. he has had major issues during lunch and recess because they refuse to

provide aide. The speech therapist stated that this is life and he must learn to

regulate himself. He has been hit, teased, cornered, bullied and has gone into

his own world even more. The school stated that he is making it all up in order

to seek attention from me. The aide and the teacher have also lost their

patience with him and scream at him in front of the class that he is rude. >>

Again, here are great comments for you to write follow up notes and letters for.

Document their refusal to provide an appropriate education. You cannot possibly

keep moving just to find a school system that bothers to do their jobs. The

speech therapist is wrong, so just keep documenting what they are saying in

writing and build up your " case. " Kids have a right to attend school without

being bullied. I can promise you that when your ds gets tired of taking it,

he's going to haul off and hit some kids and then, you will have the fun of

hearing how they have a " no tolerance " policy. lol. So be pro-active on this

and put all your attempts to fix this and get help in writing so you have back

up in case you need it. Screaming at him is totally unprofessional - I would be

asking them if screaming is their new teaching methodology and how is that

working out anyway. Obviously it isn't working. That's why they need a

professional behavioral expert to come in, assess the situation and provide

appropriate strategies that DO work.

<<He did not want to participate in music class because the volume scared him,

but the aide and music teacher each grabbed an arm and made him participate. The

school's psychology report stated that the kids do not know how to respond to

him and have distanced themselves from him. But the teacher states that

everything is fine. She stated that he was tiring and refuses to do new and

challenging work and that I should just not make him do it. Aghh!!!>>

I would probably put in writing that I do not want them to put their hands on my

kid at all. Certainly not to force him into a situation that he finds

upsetting. Their are plenty of ways to get a kid to participate and enjoy music

class without bullying him into it. How will he enjoy music after he's bullied

to enjoy it? Probably learn to hate it even more. Again, this situation needs

a professional expert to assess and provide strategies. They have no clue what

they are doing and teacher/aide training also need to be on the IEP. This is

also something that can be written into the IEP.

<<Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with the IEP and

formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son, a behavior plan,

training for the aide, sensory diet and more social support as well as

sensitivity training for the class. We were officially informed yesterday that

if these are the supports we feel he needs, then he needs to go back to his old

special ed placement. >>

If you were not in agreement, did you put your disagreement in writing? Did you

request, in writing, an FBA, a BP and an aide, training etc? Remember, if it's

not in writing, it didn't get said. So if you did not put it in writing, then

do so now. Also, when they turn down your requests, you are entitled to what is

called a " Prior Written Notice. " This is part of your protections under the

law. So while writing your requests, state that they told you to move if you

want these supports (that will look good to a hearing officer with the state)

and request to have your PWN provided to you. This notice should include their

refusal for the services requested along with the reasons that they denied

these.

Again, to build your case for supports, you want data to prove your child needs

these supports. So start now - gather all the written documentation you have.

Make a log with dates and names and events. All of this can be used as data to

support your requests.

I don't see any request that sounds " off the wall " at all. If they provide the

appropriate supports and programming now, he might not need so many supports in

the future. I always pointed that out to the " team " and it has proven itself

time and again.

Go spend a few days reading at www.wrightslaw.com and you will learn quickly how

to deal with these folks.

Roxanna

( ) Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some help.

Hi All,

We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could really use some

help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement for several

years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed with supports. We tried

for 2 years and determined that our district would never do what was needed as

they were not believers in inclusion (we went through advocates, lawyers etc.).

As such, we researched districts and decided to put our house up for sale and

rent in this new district so that he could start anew. The new districts special

ed director determined that our son was too high functioning for their in

district self-contained and thus recommended we put him into a regular 2nd grade

with an aide and supposed supports. We were told that the aide would be shared

with one other child. The school year began and the aide was not just for 2

children but several classified children in the class (more than 5). The teacher

had complained to other parents that this was a tough class because she had so

many children with needs. We were

immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has progressed our

son has clearly regressed in academics, attention, behavior etc. His

non-compliance is quite high, but according to the teacher and the in district

behaviorist, this is who he is and a behavior plan would not help.

In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan, sensory diet

etc. he has had major issues during lunch and recess because they refuse to

provide aide. The speech therapist stated that this is life and he must learn to

regulate himself. He has been hit, teased, cornered, bullied and has gone into

his own world even more. The school stated that he is making it all up in order

to seek attention from me. The aide and the teacher have also lost their

patience with him and scream at him in front of the class that he is rude. He

did not want to participate in music class because the volume scared him, but

the aide and music teacher each grabbed an arm and made him participate. The

school's psychology report stated that the kids do not know how to respond to

him and have distanced themselves from him. But the teacher states that

everything is fine. She stated that he was tiring and refuses to do new and

challenging work and that I should just not make him do it. Aghh!!!

Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with the IEP and

formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son, a behavior plan,

training for the aide, sensory diet and more social support as well as

sensitivity training for the class. We were officially informed yesterday that

if these are the supports we feel he needs, then he needs to go back to his old

special ed placement. We do not feel this is what is best for him, but we don't

know what to do. We would really like a district that believes in inclusion, but

that provides the supports needed to make it happen successfully. As you all

know, change is not an easy thing and my son has already gone through so much

that I am primarily concerned with his emotional well being.

Sorry for the long note, but I could use some help. What I wrote above is only

a fraction of the issues we have had, many more have taken place.

Again, thanks for any help that you could provide.

Luz

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Luz,

I truly sympathize with your situation. It sounds to me that like many others

in our community, you have done everything you can to give your child the best

opportunity to succeed. But, as is often the case, the school system is set up

like an ocean, sending wave after wave of professional whose only job it seems

is to erode your resolve and get you to give in to less costly and effective

supports.

The answer to yours and many of the other questions I am reading on this list

comes down to information and teamwork. In most cases, you are not getting the

information you need from your school districts in order to offer your child the

best possible outcomes. The school districts are only able to offer you the

best that they can do within their budgetary constraints based on the

programming mandates coming down, not from the specialists who are telling you

that one aid for 5 kids is okay, but from the administrators who are saying, put

all 5 of those kids in one class so we can handle them with only one aid.

You have to start looking outside of the school system and local institutional

system for answers to your questions. This group is a good start, but much of

the discussion here is also based on what schools will allow. I would like to

see more out of the box thinking on this group, such as there is in others that

I monitor and participate in.

My questions to you are this.

What is your child's compliance like at home?

Do you see a major difference in his home behavior and school?

Can you document that difference?

Have you documented what the school promised to give you in an IEP?

Can you show that they have not followed through on that IEP?

Can you demonstrate that there has been a regression in academics.

Can you ask to see the behaviorists credentials (BCBA?) for how long, how much

experience with how many kids etc.

Do you have an outside behaviorist who can come in and show that the statement

you attribute to the schools behaviorist " this is who he is and a behavior plan

would not help " is complete and utter crap and an embarrassment to anyone who

works with kids?

Can you afford a well respected and referenced private behaviorist to assess

and work with your child in the home and offer his findings to the school?

including a recommendation for one-to-one behavioral supports throughout his

day.

Can you then show with the success of the program at home that the school

should pay for this service in the school as well.

Are the other 5 children's families happy with their situation?

Do you have a parent network in your area that you can go to for advice?

Can you and the other 5 parents start your own network geared toward pushing

the school to give you your mandated FAPE?

If necessary, are you willing to move again to start over someplace better?

Can you find parent networks in other local districts that have faught

successfully for the things you know you will need for your child?

I know this sounds like trying to move a mountain when you just finished the

process of moving a mountain, but the truth is you are unfairly disadvantaged,

and probably stretched to the breaking point. But, with a little more

information, the strength that comes with numbers and some objective (non school

district) help, you need not be hopeless.

In my work I have seen individuals make the difference not only for their own

children but for the children of others who come after. Do not give up and do

not give in. The journey you are on is long and the road is likely bumpy but

cliches become cliches for a reason.

The squeaky wheel does get the grease.

There is strength in numbers

and a no is only a yes that hasn't been achieved yet.

I know this email doesn't give a lot of practical " what to do advice " but it

is meant to motivate you. The system is changing for the better one child at a

time and why shouldn't it be your child's turn next.

Keep up the fight and don't lose hope when there is so much help available out

there.

________________________

Schramm, MA, BCBA

www.lulu.com/knospe-aba

www.knospe-aba.com

________________________

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi All,

We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could really use some

help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement for several

years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed with supports. We tried

for 2 years and determined that our district would never do what was needed as

they were not believers in inclusion (we went through advocates, lawyers etc.).

As such, we researched districts and decided to put our house up for sale and

rent in this new district so that he could start anew. The new districts special

ed director determined that our son was too high functioning for their in

district self-contained and thus recommended we put him into a regular 2nd grade

with an aide and supposed supports. We were told that the aide would be shared

with one other child. The school year began and the aide was not just for 2

children but several classified children in the class (more than 5). The teacher

had complained to other parents that this was a tough class because she had so

many children with needs. We were

immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has progressed our son

has clearly regressed in academics, attention, behavior etc. His non-compliance

is quite high, but according to the teacher and the in district behaviorist,

this is who he is and a behavior plan would not help.

In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan, sensory diet etc.

he has had major issues during lunch and recess because they refuse to provide

aide. The speech therapist stated that this is life and he must learn to

regulate himself. He has been hit, teased, cornered, bullied and has gone into

his own world even more. The school stated that he is making it all up in order

to seek attention from me. The aide and the teacher have also lost their

patience with him and scream at him in front of the class that he is rude. He

did not want to participate in music class because the volume scared him, but

the aide and music teacher each grabbed an arm and made him participate. The

school's psychology report stated that the kids do not know how to respond to

him and have distanced themselves from him. But the teacher states that

everything is fine. She stated that he was tiring and refuses to do new and

challenging work and that I should just not make him do

it. Aghh!!!

Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with the IEP and

formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son, a behavior plan,

training for the aide, sensory diet and more social support as well as

sensitivity training for the class. We were officially informed yesterday that

if these are the supports we feel he needs, then he needs to go back to his old

special ed placement. We do not feel this is what is best for him, but we don't

know what to do. We would really like a district that believes in inclusion, but

that provides the supports needed to make it happen successfully. As you all

know, change is not an easy thing and my son has already gone through so much

that I am primarily concerned with his emotional well being.

Sorry for the long note, but I could use some help. What I wrote above is only a

fraction of the issues we have had, many more have taken place.

Again, thanks for any help that you could provide.

Luz

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I would like to thank everyone for all their help and support, I truly do

appreciate it. It has all been very helpful.

My case manager has since informed me that the Director of Special Services

would like to sit down and discuss this situation. They have never, ever put

their denial of services in writing. I will keep you all posted as we are

trying to meet this week.

Again, thank you all for your time, help and support.

Take Care,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi All,

We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could really use some

help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement for several

years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed with supports. We tried

for 2 years and determined that our district would never do what was needed as

they were not believers in inclusion (we went through advocates, lawyers etc.).

As such, we researched districts and decided to put our house up for sale and

rent in this new district so that he could start anew. The new districts

special ed director determined that our son was too high functioning for their

in district self-contained and thus recommended we put him into a regular 2nd

grade with an aide and supposed supports. We were told that the aide would be

shared with one other child. The school year began and the aide was not just

for 2 children but several classified children in the class (more than 5). The

teacher had complained to other parents that this was a tough class because she

had so many children with needs. We were

immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has progressed our

son has clearly regressed in academics, attention, behavior etc. His

non-compliance is quite high, but according to the teacher and the in district

behaviorist, this is who he is and a behavior plan would not help.

In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan, sensory diet

etc. he has had major issues during lunch and recess because they refuse to

provide aide. The speech therapist stated that this is life and he must learn

to regulate himself. He has been hit, teased, cornered, bullied and has gone

into his own world even more. The school stated that he is making it all up in

order to seek attention from me. The aide and the teacher have also lost their

patience with him and scream at him in front of the class that he is rude. He

did not want to participate in music class because the volume scared him, but

the aide and music teacher each grabbed an arm and made him participate. The

school's psychology report stated that the kids do not know how to respond to

him and have distanced themselves from him. But the teacher states that

everything is fine. She stated that he was tiring and refuses to do new and

challenging work and that I should just not make him do

it. Aghh!!!

Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with the IEP and

formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son, a behavior plan,

training for the aide, sensory diet and more social support as well as

sensitivity training for the class. We were officially informed yesterday that

if these are the supports we feel he needs, then he needs to go back to his old

special ed placement. We do not feel this is what is best for him, but we don't

know what to do. We would really like a district that believes in inclusion,

but that provides the supports needed to make it happen successfully. As you

all know, change is not an easy thing and my son has already gone through so

much that I am primarily concerned with his emotional well being.

Sorry for the long note, but I could use some help. What I wrote above is

only a fraction of the issues we have had, many more have taken place.

Again, thanks for any help that you could provide.

Luz

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

wrote: Hi Luz,

I truly sympathize with your situation. It sounds to me that like many others in

our community, you have done everything you can to give your child the best

opportunity to succeed. But, as is often the case, the school system is set up

like an ocean, sending wave after wave of professional whose only job it seems

is to erode your resolve and get you to give in to less costly and effective

supports. .......

With all due respect, , you sound like a professional not a parent

giving advice. I thought this was a support group for parents of children or

family members of people with AS not professionals who want to give their 2

bits.

If " this system is like a an ocean that is like wave after wave " ...then what

is moving going to accomplish??

If you read this parents post you would see that they have already moved once

to get services for their child, to suggest they move again is like asking

someone to chase a ghost or a bee bee in a box car--to say the least. To get the

schools to do what they should to provide for these kids is what we need, to get

parents motivated to make system change is what we need, to get parents to

continually move is not what we need. This is a child who like others on the

spectrum have a difficult time with change and you of all people should know

that. To suggest they should move again is not only obsurd but infuriating.

I think you need to re-think some of your suggestions and get off this site if

you are not a person with or family member of someone on the spectrum. I hope

that you can give better advice to those in your care --or have they all moved

to another district--if that is the case then you may not be in business much

longer. You obviously need more training in this area and hopefully you can

find it.

I also hope a moderator of this site will ask you to move on to another site

and block your comments.

Regards,

Kirsten Hargis

---------------------------------

Sponsored Link

Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors, Masters,

Associates. Top schools

[Guest guest]

PS to

I am a mother of a 12 yr. old AS/HFA, sensory issue son---

Kirsten Harigs

---------------------------------

Everyone is raving about the all-new beta.

[Guest guest]

Good luck Luz!!! We are all rooting for you! Hang in there.

( ) Re: Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some help.

Hi,

I would like to thank everyone for all their help and support, I truly do

appreciate it. It has all been very helpful.

My case manager has since informed me that the Director of Special Services

would like to sit down and discuss this situation. They have never, ever put

their denial of services in writing. I will keep you all posted as we are trying

to meet this week.

Again, thank you all for your time, help and support.

Take Care,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi All,

We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could really use some

help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement for several

years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed with supports. We tried

for 2 years and determined that our district would never do what was needed as

they were not believers in inclusion (we went through advocates, lawyers etc.).

As such, we researched districts and decided to put our house up for sale and

rent in this new district so that he could start anew. The new districts special

ed director determined that our son was too high functioning for their in

district self-contained and thus recommended we put him into a regular 2nd grade

with an aide and supposed supports. We were told that the aide would be shared

with one other child. The school year began and the aide was not just for 2

children but several classified children in the class (more than 5). The teacher

had complained to other parents that this was a tough class because she had so

many children with needs. We were

immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has progressed our

son has clearly regressed in academics, attention, behavior etc. His

non-compliance is quite high, but according to the teacher and the in district

behaviorist, this is who he is and a behavior plan would not help.

In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan, sensory diet

etc. he has had major issues during lunch and recess because they refuse to

provide aide. The speech therapist stated that this is life and he must learn to

regulate himself. He has been hit, teased, cornered, bullied and has gone into

his own world even more. The school stated that he is making it all up in order

to seek attention from me. The aide and the teacher have also lost their

patience with him and scream at him in front of the class that he is rude. He

did not want to participate in music class because the volume scared him, but

the aide and music teacher each grabbed an arm and made him participate. The

school's psychology report stated that the kids do not know how to respond to

him and have distanced themselves from him. But the teacher states that

everything is fine. She stated that he was tiring and refuses to do new and

challenging work and that I should just not make him do

it. Aghh!!!

Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with the IEP and

formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son, a behavior plan,

training for the aide, sensory diet and more social support as well as

sensitivity training for the class. We were officially informed yesterday that

if these are the supports we feel he needs, then he needs to go back to his old

special ed placement. We do not feel this is what is best for him, but we don't

know what to do. We would really like a district that believes in inclusion, but

that provides the supports needed to make it happen successfully. As you all

know, change is not an easy thing and my son has already gone through so much

that I am primarily concerned with his emotional well being.

Sorry for the long note, but I could use some help. What I wrote above is only

a fraction of the issues we have had, many more have taken place.

Again, thanks for any help that you could provide.

Luz

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

As a parent of a child with AS I have to say transition for these kids is

extremely difficult and although it sounds like a good way to solve the problem

it is the worse thing one can do, . The kids within the spectrum need to

have a consistent environment that provides them with a structured routine for

the simple reason they don't handle change or transition well. My personal

opinion is that most people are not educated well on the AS and other disorders

in the spectrum that is why in my sons school I am making a statement by getting

involved in educating the teachers and students by starting in the classrooms

talking to the students to help them understand and learn about these special

kids. I am currently working to get the school to implement a Social Skills

class which they currently don't have in place. My son has had a difficult start

to his high school career and these are just two things I am doing so everyone

can learn about the spectrum and these very

special kids.

Robin

Kirsten Hargis <k_hargis2004@...> wrote:

wrote: Hi Luz,

I truly sympathize with your situation. It sounds to me that like many others in

our community, you have done everything you can to give your child the best

opportunity to succeed. But, as is often the case, the school system is set up

like an ocean, sending wave after wave of professional whose only job it seems

is to erode your resolve and get you to give in to less costly and effective

supports. .......

With all due respect, , you sound like a professional not a parent giving

advice. I thought this was a support group for parents of children or family

members of people with AS not professionals who want to give their 2 bits.

If " this system is like a an ocean that is like wave after wave " ...then what is

moving going to accomplish??

If you read this parents post you would see that they have already moved once to

get services for their child, to suggest they move again is like asking someone

to chase a ghost or a bee bee in a box car--to say the least. To get the schools

to do what they should to provide for these kids is what we need, to get parents

motivated to make system change is what we need, to get parents to continually

move is not what we need. This is a child who like others on the spectrum have a

difficult time with change and you of all people should know that. To suggest

they should move again is not only obsurd but infuriating.

I think you need to re-think some of your suggestions and get off this site if

you are not a person with or family member of someone on the spectrum. I hope

that you can give better advice to those in your care --or have they all moved

to another district--if that is the case then you may not be in business much

longer. You obviously need more training in this area and hopefully you can find

it.

I also hope a moderator of this site will ask you to move on to another site and

block your comments.

Regards,

Kirsten Hargis

---------------------------------

Sponsored Link

Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors, Masters, Associates.

Top schools

[Guest guest]

Hi Robin,

I appreciate your thoughts and it sounds like you are doing a great job with

your child and your school. But, Luz' email spoke of her child becoming

physically agressive, losing academic skills and being non-compliant. All of

which was being caused by an inclusion setting that was more " dump and run " than

" plan and prepare " . In her case, I think more is going to be needed.

Again, transitioning to another school placement was just my final option

added at the end of a long list of questions she could be asking herself with

ideas of what she chould do in the current school placement. Similar to what

you have done. Here is that list again as a reminder.

" What is your child's compliance like at home? Do you see a major difference

in his home behavior and school?

Can you document that difference?

Have you documented what the school promised to give you in an IEP?

Can you show that they have not followed through on that IEP?

Can you demonstrate that there has been a regression in academics.

Can you ask to see the behaviorists credentials (BCBA?) for how long, how much

experience with how many kids etc.

Do you have an outside behaviorist who can come in and show that the statement

you attribute to the schools behaviorist " this is who he is and a behavior plan

would not help " is complete and utter crap and an embarrassment to anyone who

works with kids?

Can you afford a well respected and referenced private behaviorist to assess

and work with your child in the home and offer his findings to the school?

including a recommendation for one-to-one behavioral supports throughout his

day.

Can you then show with the success of the program at home that the school

should pay for this service in the school as well.

Are the other 5 children's families happy with their situation?

Do you have a parent network in your area that you can go to for advice?

Can you and the other 5 parents start your own network geared toward pushing

the school to give you your mandated FAPE?

All of these were listed as options to consider before this final one that

seems to be the big concern:

" If necessary, are you willing to move again to start over someplace better?

Can you find parent networks in other local districts that have faught

successfully for the things you know you will need for your child? "

So, I agree totally with your approach to work with and educate the school but

my concern is just that if this school already considers itself forward thinking

but isn't demonstrating that forward thinking they might not be open to outside

ideas like you have been able to bring to your school. If so, that is wonderful

and I hope this becomes the case. But if not, and all else fails, I still would

rather find a place willing to work with me rather than battle needlessly for

the next 10 years of my child's life.

But again, that is just my opinion and every situation is unique.

________________________

Schramm, MA, BCBA

www.lulu.com/knospe-aba

www.knospe-aba.com

________________________

Robin <rckc23@...> wrote:

As a parent of a child with AS I have to say transition for these kids

is extremely difficult and although it sounds like a good way to solve the

problem it is the worse thing one can do, . The kids within the spectrum

need to have a consistent environment that provides them with a structured

routine for the simple reason they don't handle change or transition well. My

personal opinion is that most people are not educated well on the AS and other

disorders in the spectrum that is why in my sons school I am making a statement

by getting involved in educating the teachers and students by starting in the

classrooms talking to the students to help them understand and learn about these

special kids. I am currently working to get the school to implement a Social

Skills class which they currently don't have in place. My son has had a

difficult start to his high school career and these are just two things I am

doing so everyone can learn about the spectrum and these

very

special kids.

Robin

Kirsten Hargis <k_hargis2004@...> wrote:

wrote: Hi Luz,

I truly sympathize with your situation. It sounds to me that like many others in

our community, you have done everything you can to give your child the best

opportunity to succeed. But, as is often the case, the school system is set up

like an ocean, sending wave after wave of professional whose only job it seems

is to erode your resolve and get you to give in to less costly and effective

supports. .......

With all due respect, , you sound like a professional not a parent giving

advice. I thought this was a support group for parents of children or family

members of people with AS not professionals who want to give their 2 bits.

If " this system is like a an ocean that is like wave after wave " ...then what is

moving going to accomplish??

If you read this parents post you would see that they have already moved once to

get services for their child, to suggest they move again is like asking someone

to chase a ghost or a bee bee in a box car--to say the least. To get the schools

to do what they should to provide for these kids is what we need, to get parents

motivated to make system change is what we need, to get parents to continually

move is not what we need. This is a child who like others on the spectrum have a

difficult time with change and you of all people should know that. To suggest

they should move again is not only obsurd but infuriating.

I think you need to re-think some of your suggestions and get off this site if

you are not a person with or family member of someone on the spectrum. I hope

that you can give better advice to those in your care --or have they all moved

to another district--if that is the case then you may not be in business much

longer. You obviously need more training in this area and hopefully you can find

it.

I also hope a moderator of this site will ask you to move on to another site and

block your comments.

Regards,

Kirsten Hargis

---------------------------------

Sponsored Link

Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors, Masters, Associates.

Top schools

[Guest guest]

I just have to say that we started my son in 1/2 day Kindergarten in

a regular class with a special ed teacher in the building who was

responsible for 5 AS kids in various grades. She unpacked their

things with them, was a liason between parent and teacher, and made

sure that their needs were being met during the day. She was a great

lady, however my son could not learn in such a large class size

environment and was shutting down and displaying uncharacteristic

behavior problems.

In January we switched him to a social communications class for high

functioning kids in the district. The second part of the day he

went to a regular K class with an aide. He had a longer day, new

teachers, new kids, new bus, new everything. Well, I held my breath

and he loved his new program so much it was like a fish to water.

He didn't miss a minute of sleep. He started reading and writing

and the behavior problems disappeared (he is in the same program for

1st grade and still no behavior issues).

My point is transition can be hard for these kids, some it is harder

for than others, but if you do get the right placement your child

can be happier in the long run. It is a shame we don't have a

crystal ball!

Good luck,

Debbie Melamed

[Guest guest]

Ok the transition as a last restort I can understand but didn't get that from

your previous comments. Thanks for you comments about my invovlement in my child

case. I feel it is very important to stand up and advocate for these kids as we

know their emotional and social levels are not at a level where they are likely

to do it for themselves and nor should they have too. I urge everyone to tell

educators what their child needs and my it a point to ensure they follow

through.

Best wishes to all...

Schramm <knospeaba_robert@...> wrote:

Hi Robin,

I appreciate your thoughts and it sounds like you are doing a great job with

your child and your school. But, Luz' email spoke of her child becoming

physically agressive, losing academic skills and being non-compliant. All of

which was being caused by an inclusion setting that was more " dump and run " than

" plan and prepare " . In her case, I think more is going to be needed.

Again, transitioning to another school placement was just my final option added

at the end of a long list of questions she could be asking herself with ideas of

what she chould do in the current school placement. Similar to what you have

done. Here is that list again as a reminder.

" What is your child's compliance like at home? Do you see a major difference in

his home behavior and school?

Can you document that difference?

Have you documented what the school promised to give you in an IEP?

Can you show that they have not followed through on that IEP?

Can you demonstrate that there has been a regression in academics.

Can you ask to see the behaviorists credentials (BCBA?) for how long, how much

experience with how many kids etc.

Do you have an outside behaviorist who can come in and show that the statement

you attribute to the schools behaviorist " this is who he is and a behavior plan

would not help " is complete and utter crap and an embarrassment to anyone who

works with kids?

Can you afford a well respected and referenced private behaviorist to assess and

work with your child in the home and offer his findings to the school? including

a recommendation for one-to-one behavioral supports throughout his day.

Can you then show with the success of the program at home that the school should

pay for this service in the school as well.

Are the other 5 children's families happy with their situation?

Do you have a parent network in your area that you can go to for advice?

Can you and the other 5 parents start your own network geared toward pushing the

school to give you your mandated FAPE?

All of these were listed as options to consider before this final one that seems

to be the big concern:

" If necessary, are you willing to move again to start over someplace better?

Can you find parent networks in other local districts that have faught

successfully for the things you know you will need for your child? "

So, I agree totally with your approach to work with and educate the school but

my concern is just that if this school already considers itself forward thinking

but isn't demonstrating that forward thinking they might not be open to outside

ideas like you have been able to bring to your school. If so, that is wonderful

and I hope this becomes the case. But if not, and all else fails, I still would

rather find a place willing to work with me rather than battle needlessly for

the next 10 years of my child's life.

But again, that is just my opinion and every situation is unique.

________________________

Schramm, MA, BCBA

www.lulu.com/knospe-aba

www.knospe-aba.com

________________________

Robin <rckc23@...> wrote:

As a parent of a child with AS I have to say transition for these kids is

extremely difficult and although it sounds like a good way to solve the problem

it is the worse thing one can do, . The kids within the spectrum need to

have a consistent environment that provides them with a structured routine for

the simple reason they don't handle change or transition well. My personal

opinion is that most people are not educated well on the AS and other disorders

in the spectrum that is why in my sons school I am making a statement by getting

involved in educating the teachers and students by starting in the classrooms

talking to the students to help them understand and learn about these special

kids. I am currently working to get the school to implement a Social Skills

class which they currently don't have in place. My son has had a difficult start

to his high school career and these are just two things I am doing so everyone

can learn about the spectrum and these

very

special kids.

Robin

Kirsten Hargis <k_hargis2004@...> wrote:

wrote: Hi Luz,

I truly sympathize with your situation. It sounds to me that like many others in

our community, you have done everything you can to give your child the best

opportunity to succeed. But, as is often the case, the school system is set up

like an ocean, sending wave after wave of professional whose only job it seems

is to erode your resolve and get you to give in to less costly and effective

supports. .......

With all due respect, , you sound like a professional not a parent giving

advice. I thought this was a support group for parents of children or family

members of people with AS not professionals who want to give their 2 bits.

If " this system is like a an ocean that is like wave after wave " ...then what is

moving going to accomplish??

If you read this parents post you would see that they have already moved once to

get services for their child, to suggest they move again is like asking someone

to chase a ghost or a bee bee in a box car--to say the least. To get the schools

to do what they should to provide for these kids is what we need, to get parents

motivated to make system change is what we need, to get parents to continually

move is not what we need. This is a child who like others on the spectrum have a

difficult time with change and you of all people should know that. To suggest

they should move again is not only obsurd but infuriating.

I think you need to re-think some of your suggestions and get off this site if

you are not a person with or family member of someone on the spectrum. I hope

that you can give better advice to those in your care --or have they all moved

to another district--if that is the case then you may not be in business much

longer. You obviously need more training in this area and hopefully you can find

it.

I also hope a moderator of this site will ask you to move on to another site and

block your comments.

Regards,

Kirsten Hargis

---------------------------------

Sponsored Link

Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors, Masters, Associates.

Top schools

[Guest guest]

Crystal ball would be wonderful..I know that some transitions are very helpful

for kids but it is also important for us as parents to realize when that is a

good move which it sounds like you did. I am learning to advocate for my child

just like everyone else and as you mention social/communication skills class are

great benefits and very helpful for these kids.

debramelamed <melamedj@...> wrote: I just have to say that we

started my son in 1/2 day Kindergarten in

a regular class with a special ed teacher in the building who was

responsible for 5 AS kids in various grades. She unpacked their

things with them, was a liason between parent and teacher, and made

sure that their needs were being met during the day. She was a great

lady, however my son could not learn in such a large class size

environment and was shutting down and displaying uncharacteristic

behavior problems.

In January we switched him to a social communications class for high

functioning kids in the district. The second part of the day he

went to a regular K class with an aide. He had a longer day, new

teachers, new kids, new bus, new everything. Well, I held my breath

and he loved his new program so much it was like a fish to water.

He didn't miss a minute of sleep. He started reading and writing

and the behavior problems disappeared (he is in the same program for

1st grade and still no behavior issues).

My point is transition can be hard for these kids, some it is harder

for than others, but if you do get the right placement your child

can be happier in the long run. It is a shame we don't have a

crystal ball!

Good luck,

Debbie Melamed

---------------------------------

Sponsored Link

$420,000 Mortgage for $1,399/month - Think You Pay Too Much For Your Mortgage?

Find Out!

[Guest guest]

Yes.. Activism is very important.. I don't think that is the issue... But

with

Children such as ours.. Time is of the essence... We HAVE To get them early

And aggressive intervention and sometimes that means moving several times..

Or seeking out the schools that already provide it. Then.. Working within

your community to provide

Services locally.

I am a parent speaking from experience. Its not easy .. But it can be done.

-- ( ) Re: Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some help.

wrote: Hi Luz,

I truly sympathize with your situation. It sounds to me that like many

others in our community, you have done everything you can to give your child

the best opportunity to succeed. But, as is often the case, the school

system is set up like an ocean, sending wave after wave of professional

whose only job it seems is to erode your resolve and get you to give in to

less costly and effective supports. .......

With all due respect, , you sound like a professional not a parent

giving advice. I thought this was a support group for parents of children or

family members of people with AS not professionals who want to give their 2

bits.

If " this system is like a an ocean that is like wave after wave " ...then what

is moving going to accomplish??

If you read this parents post you would see that they have already moved

once to get services for their child, to suggest they move again is like

asking someone to chase a ghost or a bee bee in a box car--to say the least.

To get the schools to do what they should to provide for these kids is what

we need, to get parents motivated to make system change is what we need, to

get parents to continually move is not what we need. This is a child who

like others on the spectrum have a difficult time with change and you of all

people should know that. To suggest they should move again is not only

obsurd but infuriating.

I think you need to re-think some of your suggestions and get off this site

if you are not a person with or family member of someone on the spectrum. I

hope that you can give better advice to those in your care --or have they

all moved to another district--if that is the case then you may not be in

business much longer. You obviously need more training in this area and

hopefully you can find it.

I also hope a moderator of this site will ask you to move on to another site

and block your comments.

Regards,

Kirsten Hargis

---------------------------------

Sponsored Link

Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors, Masters,

Associates. Top schools

[Guest guest]

Hi

Long story short. I'm one of those parents that had to move to help my son

because the old school de-classified my child and fought his doctors. Moving

was also stressful because we also had a challenge on finding a place to rent

long term. the new school district is much better, and we are so glad we moved,

and yes that is very hard in transition with an AS child, but sometimes we have

to weigh out the stress between fighting long term with a school (that has the

budgets interest first) or moving to a school district that would work with us.

then there is the thought of the administration changing and new problems.

WOW!!! it never ends. I'm sure was just trying to help as well as all of

us. we all want to be the best parents and raise our children the best we can.

you both seem like strong advocates, but its the school we should be upset with

not each other. This is an awesome site and we learn from each other here. get

the help and support we need, and

do best for our children. I didn't get to read her site, but from the subject

title: Feeling Hopeless and Could use some help. Outch. I can feel for her.

Now, the " focus " is not on her anymore, but, instead, the group is arguing with

each other and this poor women STILL needs support... what about her??? I hope

everybody will take a break from arguing and redirect the focus back on this

woman who is asking for help. If that were me writing in with a question like

she had, I would want all the support and help that I can get. Hugs go out to

everybody on this site, Have a healthy Happy Thanksgiving and a Flu-Free winter.

<cmcintosh5@...> wrote:

Yes.. Activism is very important.. I don't think that is the issue...

But

with

Children such as ours.. Time is of the essence... We HAVE To get them early

And aggressive intervention and sometimes that means moving several times..

Or seeking out the schools that already provide it. Then.. Working within

your community to provide

Services locally.

I am a parent speaking from experience. Its not easy .. But it can be done.

-- ( ) Re: Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some help.

wrote: Hi Luz,

I truly sympathize with your situation. It sounds to me that like many

others in our community, you have done everything you can to give your child

the best opportunity to succeed. But, as is often the case, the school

system is set up like an ocean, sending wave after wave of professional

whose only job it seems is to erode your resolve and get you to give in to

less costly and effective supports. .......

With all due respect, , you sound like a professional not a parent

giving advice. I thought this was a support group for parents of children or

family members of people with AS not professionals who want to give their 2

bits.

If " this system is like a an ocean that is like wave after wave " ...then what

is moving going to accomplish??

If you read this parents post you would see that they have already moved

once to get services for their child, to suggest they move again is like

asking someone to chase a ghost or a bee bee in a box car--to say the least.

To get the schools to do what they should to provide for these kids is what

we need, to get parents motivated to make system change is what we need, to

get parents to continually move is not what we need. This is a child who

like others on the spectrum have a difficult time with change and you of all

people should know that. To suggest they should move again is not only

obsurd but infuriating.

I think you need to re-think some of your suggestions and get off this site

if you are not a person with or family member of someone on the spectrum. I

hope that you can give better advice to those in your care --or have they

all moved to another district--if that is the case then you may not be in

business much longer. You obviously need more training in this area and

hopefully you can find it.

I also hope a moderator of this site will ask you to move on to another site

and block your comments.

Regards,

Kirsten Hargis

---------------------------------

Sponsored Link

Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors, Masters,

Associates. Top schools

[Guest guest]

Sorry I am behind on catching this. No flaming allowed, please. Anyone who

flames will be moderated. If you disagree with anyone, please focus on the

issue and not the person.

Roxanna

( ) Re: Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some help.

wrote: Hi Luz,

I truly sympathize with your situation. It sounds to me that like many others

in our community, you have done everything you can to give your child the best

opportunity to succeed. But, as is often the case, the school system is set up

like an ocean, sending wave after wave of professional whose only job it seems

is to erode your resolve and get you to give in to less costly and effective

supports. .......

With all due respect, , you sound like a professional not a parent

giving advice. I thought this was a support group for parents of children or

family members of people with AS not professionals who want to give their 2

bits.

If " this system is like a an ocean that is like wave after wave " ...then what

is moving going to accomplish??

If you read this parents post you would see that they have already moved once

to get services for their child, to suggest they move again is like asking

someone to chase a ghost or a bee bee in a box car--to say the least. To get the

schools to do what they should to provide for these kids is what we need, to get

parents motivated to make system change is what we need, to get parents to

continually move is not what we need. This is a child who like others on the

spectrum have a difficult time with change and you of all people should know

that. To suggest they should move again is not only obsurd but infuriating.

I think you need to re-think some of your suggestions and get off this site if

you are not a person with or family member of someone on the spectrum. I hope

that you can give better advice to those in your care --or have they all moved

to another district--if that is the case then you may not be in business much

longer. You obviously need more training in this area and hopefully you can find

it.

I also hope a moderator of this site will ask you to move on to another site

and block your comments.

Regards,

Kirsten Hargis

---------------------------------

Sponsored Link

Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors, Masters,

Associates. Top schools

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

Happy Thanksgiving! Just wanted to give a follow up on where we are.

Since our son has been having issues with what is going on in school, anxiety

etc. I met with a therapist who was supposed to work with him. When we

initially met she explained that she could observe him in school and help the

school with some strategies, behavior plan etc. in terms of dealing with him.

Last week she met with my son for the first time. She then informed me that her

role would best be served in training the aide to handle my son, mind you he

does not have his own aide and she knows this. She also informed me that she is

quite involved with our district because they refer people to one another.

Essentially she was not going to do what we needed because she has business ties

to the district and has a relationship with our case manager. The bottom line

is that she is not going to jeopardize that relationship in order to help us

fight for what our son needs. AGH!!!

I felt completely taken and frustrated. This is not the first time I've dealt

with a " professional " who puts their relationship with a district before the

needs of a child. I simply am looking for someone to help my son and help us

educate the district in terms of what he needs. Does anyone know of a good

therapist that can help my son with his anxiety etc.? Any suggestions would be

greatly appreciated.

Also, tomorrow we have a meeting with the Director of Special Services to

discuss their refusal to provide our son with supports. Wish us luck.

Thanks Again,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi,

I would like to thank everyone for all their help and support, I truly do

appreciate it. It has all been very helpful.

My case manager has since informed me that the Director of Special Services

would like to sit down and discuss this situation. They have never, ever put

their denial of services in writing. I will keep you all posted as we are

trying to meet this week.

Again, thank you all for your time, help and support.

Take Care,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi All,

We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could really use some

help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement for several

years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed with supports. We tried

for 2 years and determined that our district would never do what was needed as

they were not believers in inclusion (we went through advocates, lawyers etc.).

As such, we researched districts and decided to put our house up for sale and

rent in this new district so that he could start anew. The new districts

special ed director determined that our son was too high functioning for their

in district self-contained and thus recommended we put him into a regular 2nd

grade with an aide and supposed supports. We were told that the aide would be

shared with one other child. The school year began and the aide was not just

for 2 children but several classified children in the class (more than 5). The

teacher had complained to other parents that this was a tough class because she

had so many children with needs. We were

immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has progressed our

son has clearly regressed in academics, attention, behavior etc. His

non-compliance is quite high, but according to the teacher and the in district

behaviorist, this is who he is and a behavior plan would not help.

In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan, sensory diet

etc. he has had major issues during lunch and recess because they refuse to

provide aide. The speech therapist stated that this is life and he must learn

to regulate himself. He has been hit, teased, cornered, bullied and has gone

into his own world even more. The school stated that he is making it all up in

order to seek attention from me. The aide and the teacher have also lost their

patience with him and scream at him in front of the class that he is rude. He

did not want to participate in music class because the volume scared him, but

the aide and music teacher each grabbed an arm and made him participate. The

school's psychology report stated that the kids do not know how to respond to

him and have distanced themselves from him. But the teacher states that

everything is fine. She stated that he was tiring and refuses to do new and

challenging work and that I should just not make him do

it. Aghh!!!

Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with the IEP and

formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son, a behavior plan,

training for the aide, sensory diet and more social support as well as

sensitivity training for the class. We were officially informed yesterday that

if these are the supports we feel he needs, then he needs to go back to his old

special ed placement. We do not feel this is what is best for him, but we don't

know what to do. We would really like a district that believes in inclusion,

but that provides the supports needed to make it happen successfully. As you

all know, change is not an easy thing and my son has already gone through so

much that I am primarily concerned with his emotional well being.

Sorry for the long note, but I could use some help. What I wrote above is

only a fraction of the issues we have had, many more have taken place.

Again, thanks for any help that you could provide.

Luz

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Good luck Luz,

I know how frustrating it can be. We have the same issue here with our school.

They offered us regular speech therapy if we sent our son to their school. Now

that he's enrolled and they have all his funding they are saying that there is

no speech therapist available and we'll have to pay privately, $70 a session.

We too felt taken for a ride.

Beck

( ) Re: Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some help.

Hi Everyone,

Happy Thanksgiving! Just wanted to give a follow up on where we are.

Since our son has been having issues with what is going on in school, anxiety

etc. I met with a therapist who was supposed to work with him. When we initially

met she explained that she could observe him in school and help the school with

some strategies, behavior plan etc. in terms of dealing with him. Last week she

met with my son for the first time. She then informed me that her role would

best be served in training the aide to handle my son, mind you he does not have

his own aide and she knows this. She also informed me that she is quite involved

with our district because they refer people to one another. Essentially she was

not going to do what we needed because she has business ties to the district and

has a relationship with our case manager. The bottom line is that she is not

going to jeopardize that relationship in order to help us fight for what our son

needs. AGH!!!

I felt completely taken and frustrated. This is not the first time I've dealt

with a " professional " who puts their relationship with a district before the

needs of a child. I simply am looking for someone to help my son and help us

educate the district in terms of what he needs. Does anyone know of a good

therapist that can help my son with his anxiety etc.? Any suggestions would be

greatly appreciated.

Also, tomorrow we have a meeting with the Director of Special Services to

discuss their refusal to provide our son with supports. Wish us luck.

Thanks Again,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi,

I would like to thank everyone for all their help and support, I truly do

appreciate it. It has all been very helpful.

My case manager has since informed me that the Director of Special Services

would like to sit down and discuss this situation. They have never, ever put

their denial of services in writing. I will keep you all posted as we are trying

to meet this week.

Again, thank you all for your time, help and support.

Take Care,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi All,

We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could really use some

help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement for several

years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed with supports. We tried

for 2 years and determined that our district would never do what was needed as

they were not believers in inclusion (we went through advocates, lawyers etc.).

As such, we researched districts and decided to put our house up for sale and

rent in this new district so that he could start anew. The new districts special

ed director determined that our son was too high functioning for their in

district self-contained and thus recommended we put him into a regular 2nd grade

with an aide and supposed supports. We were told that the aide would be shared

with one other child. The school year began and the aide was not just for 2

children but several classified children in the class (more than 5). The teacher

had complained to other parents that this was a tough class because she had so

many children with needs. We were

immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has progressed our

son has clearly regressed in academics, attention, behavior etc. His

non-compliance is quite high, but according to the teacher and the in district

behaviorist, this is who he is and a behavior plan would not help.

In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan, sensory diet

etc. he has had major issues during lunch and recess because they refuse to

provide aide. The speech therapist stated that this is life and he must learn to

regulate himself. He has been hit, teased, cornered, bullied and has gone into

his own world even more. The school stated that he is making it all up in order

to seek attention from me. The aide and the teacher have also lost their

patience with him and scream at him in front of the class that he is rude. He

did not want to participate in music class because the volume scared him, but

the aide and music teacher each grabbed an arm and made him participate. The

school's psychology report stated that the kids do not know how to respond to

him and have distanced themselves from him. But the teacher states that

everything is fine. She stated that he was tiring and refuses to do new and

challenging work and that I should just not make him do

it. Aghh!!!

Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with the IEP and

formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son, a behavior plan,

training for the aide, sensory diet and more social support as well as

sensitivity training for the class. We were officially informed yesterday that

if these are the supports we feel he needs, then he needs to go back to his old

special ed placement. We do not feel this is what is best for him, but we don't

know what to do. We would really like a district that believes in inclusion, but

that provides the supports needed to make it happen successfully. As you all

know, change is not an easy thing and my son has already gone through so much

that I am primarily concerned with his emotional well being.

Sorry for the long note, but I could use some help. What I wrote above is only

a fraction of the issues we have had, many more have taken place.

Again, thanks for any help that you could provide.

Luz

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Now that he's enrolled and they have all

his funding they are saying that there is no speech therapist

available and we'll have to pay privately, $70 a session.

Beck, is this a public school???

[Guest guest]

Luz, now is the therapist still going to come up with a behavior plan

and strategies?? I can understand her training the aide in the room

to work with him (tho I read they had promised a 1:1).

Re anxiety, here are some things I have saved, might give you some

ideas for the school. Also, might help to print out any, highlight

what is in it that you feel will help your son and read over that at

the meeting (or call another meeting later to go over).

http://www.worrywisekids.org/schools/what_schools.html

http://www.lighthouse-press.com/Resources.htm

http://www.behavioradvisor.com/

If you haven't been getting anything in writing, after this meeting

write a follow-up letter so that it will be in writing. Something

like, " thank you for meeting with me on *** regarding my son.... The

meeting was to discuss the school's refusal to provide supports for

my son.... " and state what was decided or refused, etc., the result.

Make sure the principal and anyone else gets a copy, especially if

you don't get good results. Just a thought to get a paper trail

going.

Let us know what happens!

single mom, 3 sons

, 17, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> Happy Thanksgiving! Just wanted to give a follow up on where we

[Guest guest]

If their assessments show he needs Speech and no one is available, then

they may be liable to reimburse you for private therapy.

Tonya

Re: ( ) Re: Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some

help.

Good luck Luz,

I know how frustrating it can be. We have the same issue here with our

school. They offered us regular speech therapy if we sent our son to

their school. Now that he's enrolled and they have all his funding they

are saying that there is no speech therapist available and we'll have to

pay privately, $70 a session. We too felt taken for a ride.

Beck

( ) Re: Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some

help.

Hi Everyone,

Happy Thanksgiving! Just wanted to give a follow up on where we are.

Since our son has been having issues with what is going on in school,

anxiety etc. I met with a therapist who was supposed to work with him.

When we initially met she explained that she could observe him in school

and help the school with some strategies, behavior plan etc. in terms of

dealing with him. Last week she met with my son for the first time. She

then informed me that her role would best be served in training the aide

to handle my son, mind you he does not have his own aide and she knows

this. She also informed me that she is quite involved with our district

because they refer people to one another. Essentially she was not going

to do what we needed because she has business ties to the district and

has a relationship with our case manager. The bottom line is that she is

not going to jeopardize that relationship in order to help us fight for

what our son needs. AGH!!!

I felt completely taken and frustrated. This is not the first time I've

dealt with a " professional " who puts their relationship with a district

before the needs of a child. I simply am looking for someone to help my

son and help us educate the district in terms of what he needs. Does

anyone know of a good therapist that can help my son with his anxiety

etc.? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Also, tomorrow we have a meeting with the Director of Special Services

to discuss their refusal to provide our son with supports. Wish us luck.

Thanks Again,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@ <mailto:luzadrianna1970%40>

> wrote:

Hi,

I would like to thank everyone for all their help and support, I truly

do appreciate it. It has all been very helpful.

My case manager has since informed me that the Director of Special

Services would like to sit down and discuss this situation. They have

never, ever put their denial of services in writing. I will keep you all

posted as we are trying to meet this week.

Again, thank you all for your time, help and support.

Take Care,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@ <mailto:luzadrianna1970%40>

> wrote:

Hi All,

We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could really use

some help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement for

several years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed with

supports. We tried for 2 years and determined that our district would

never do what was needed as they were not believers in inclusion (we

went through advocates, lawyers etc.). As such, we researched districts

and decided to put our house up for sale and rent in this new district

so that he could start anew. The new districts special ed director

determined that our son was too high functioning for their in district

self-contained and thus recommended we put him into a regular 2nd grade

with an aide and supposed supports. We were told that the aide would be

shared with one other child. The school year began and the aide was not

just for 2 children but several classified children in the class (more

than 5). The teacher had complained to other parents that this was a

tough class because she had so many children with needs. We were

immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has progressed

our son has clearly regressed in academics, attention, behavior etc. His

non-compliance is quite high, but according to the teacher and the in

district behaviorist, this is who he is and a behavior plan would not

help.

In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan, sensory

diet etc. he has had major issues during lunch and recess because they

refuse to provide aide. The speech therapist stated that this is life

and he must learn to regulate himself. He has been hit, teased,

cornered, bullied and has gone into his own world even more. The school

stated that he is making it all up in order to seek attention from me.

The aide and the teacher have also lost their patience with him and

scream at him in front of the class that he is rude. He did not want to

participate in music class because the volume scared him, but the aide

and music teacher each grabbed an arm and made him participate. The

school's psychology report stated that the kids do not know how to

respond to him and have distanced themselves from him. But the teacher

states that everything is fine. She stated that he was tiring and

refuses to do new and challenging work and that I should just not make

him do

it. Aghh!!!

Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with the

IEP and formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son, a

behavior plan, training for the aide, sensory diet and more social

support as well as sensitivity training for the class. We were

officially informed yesterday that if these are the supports we feel he

needs, then he needs to go back to his old special ed placement. We do

not feel this is what is best for him, but we don't know what to do. We

would really like a district that believes in inclusion, but that

provides the supports needed to make it happen successfully. As you all

know, change is not an easy thing and my son has already gone through so

much that I am primarily concerned with his emotional well being.

Sorry for the long note, but I could use some help. What I wrote above

is only a fraction of the issues we have had, many more have taken

place.

Again, thanks for any help that you could provide.

Luz

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Luz,

How did your meeting go? This is the 3rd time this past week I have heard of

this happening - a " professional " not going to get " involved " because of ties to

the school that they want to preserve. I just find that infuriating. People

look to these folks for help and then it turns out they only help until it ruins

their happy with the district. I just could never have a job like that. I

would go nuts!

Roxanna

( ) Re: Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some help.

Hi Everyone,

Happy Thanksgiving! Just wanted to give a follow up on where we are.

Since our son has been having issues with what is going on in school, anxiety

etc. I met with a therapist who was supposed to work with him. When we initially

met she explained that she could observe him in school and help the school with

some strategies, behavior plan etc. in terms of dealing with him. Last week she

met with my son for the first time. She then informed me that her role would

best be served in training the aide to handle my son, mind you he does not have

his own aide and she knows this. She also informed me that she is quite involved

with our district because they refer people to one another. Essentially she was

not going to do what we needed because she has business ties to the district and

has a relationship with our case manager. The bottom line is that she is not

going to jeopardize that relationship in order to help us fight for what our son

needs. AGH!!!

I felt completely taken and frustrated. This is not the first time I've dealt

with a " professional " who puts their relationship with a district before the

needs of a child. I simply am looking for someone to help my son and help us

educate the district in terms of what he needs. Does anyone know of a good

therapist that can help my son with his anxiety etc.? Any suggestions would be

greatly appreciated.

Also, tomorrow we have a meeting with the Director of Special Services to

discuss their refusal to provide our son with supports. Wish us luck.

Thanks Again,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi,

I would like to thank everyone for all their help and support, I truly do

appreciate it. It has all been very helpful.

My case manager has since informed me that the Director of Special Services

would like to sit down and discuss this situation. They have never, ever put

their denial of services in writing. I will keep you all posted as we are trying

to meet this week.

Again, thank you all for your time, help and support.

Take Care,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi All,

We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could really use some

help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement for several

years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed with supports. We tried

for 2 years and determined that our district would never do what was needed as

they were not believers in inclusion (we went through advocates, lawyers etc.).

As such, we researched districts and decided to put our house up for sale and

rent in this new district so that he could start anew. The new districts special

ed director determined that our son was too high functioning for their in

district self-contained and thus recommended we put him into a regular 2nd grade

with an aide and supposed supports. We were told that the aide would be shared

with one other child. The school year began and the aide was not just for 2

children but several classified children in the class (more than 5). The teacher

had complained to other parents that this was a tough class because she had so

many children with needs. We were

immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has progressed our

son has clearly regressed in academics, attention, behavior etc. His

non-compliance is quite high, but according to the teacher and the in district

behaviorist, this is who he is and a behavior plan would not help.

In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan, sensory diet

etc. he has had major issues during lunch and recess because they refuse to

provide aide. The speech therapist stated that this is life and he must learn to

regulate himself. He has been hit, teased, cornered, bullied and has gone into

his own world even more. The school stated that he is making it all up in order

to seek attention from me. The aide and the teacher have also lost their

patience with him and scream at him in front of the class that he is rude. He

did not want to participate in music class because the volume scared him, but

the aide and music teacher each grabbed an arm and made him participate. The

school's psychology report stated that the kids do not know how to respond to

him and have distanced themselves from him. But the teacher states that

everything is fine. She stated that he was tiring and refuses to do new and

challenging work and that I should just not make him do

it. Aghh!!!

Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with the IEP and

formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son, a behavior plan,

training for the aide, sensory diet and more social support as well as

sensitivity training for the class. We were officially informed yesterday that

if these are the supports we feel he needs, then he needs to go back to his old

special ed placement. We do not feel this is what is best for him, but we don't

know what to do. We would really like a district that believes in inclusion, but

that provides the supports needed to make it happen successfully. As you all

know, change is not an easy thing and my son has already gone through so much

that I am primarily concerned with his emotional well being.

Sorry for the long note, but I could use some help. What I wrote above is only

a fraction of the issues we have had, many more have taken place.

Again, thanks for any help that you could provide.

Luz

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Was this a public school, Beck? Because they can't put a service into the IEP

and then tell you to pay for it yourself. If there was no therapist available,

they could pay for private ST outside of school. There are other ways than to

just tell you you have to pay for it!

Roxanna

( ) Re: Feeling Hopeless and Could Use Some help.

Hi Everyone,

Happy Thanksgiving! Just wanted to give a follow up on where we are.

Since our son has been having issues with what is going on in school, anxiety

etc. I met with a therapist who was supposed to work with him. When we initially

met she explained that she could observe him in school and help the school with

some strategies, behavior plan etc. in terms of dealing with him. Last week she

met with my son for the first time. She then informed me that her role would

best be served in training the aide to handle my son, mind you he does not have

his own aide and she knows this. She also informed me that she is quite involved

with our district because they refer people to one another. Essentially she was

not going to do what we needed because she has business ties to the district and

has a relationship with our case manager. The bottom line is that she is not

going to jeopardize that relationship in order to help us fight for what our son

needs. AGH!!!

I felt completely taken and frustrated. This is not the first time I've dealt

with a " professional " who puts their relationship with a district before the

needs of a child. I simply am looking for someone to help my son and help us

educate the district in terms of what he needs. Does anyone know of a good

therapist that can help my son with his anxiety etc.? Any suggestions would be

greatly appreciated.

Also, tomorrow we have a meeting with the Director of Special Services to

discuss their refusal to provide our son with supports. Wish us luck.

Thanks Again,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi,

I would like to thank everyone for all their help and support, I truly do

appreciate it. It has all been very helpful.

My case manager has since informed me that the Director of Special Services

would like to sit down and discuss this situation. They have never, ever put

their denial of services in writing. I will keep you all posted as we are trying

to meet this week.

Again, thank you all for your time, help and support.

Take Care,

Luz

luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi All,

We are in quite a situation with our son right now and could really use some

help. Please excuse the length of the e-mail.

Our son, (8 yr old Aspergers) had been in a special ed placement for several

years, but we decided he was ready to be mainstreamed with supports. We tried

for 2 years and determined that our district would never do what was needed as

they were not believers in inclusion (we went through advocates, lawyers etc.).

As such, we researched districts and decided to put our house up for sale and

rent in this new district so that he could start anew. The new districts special

ed director determined that our son was too high functioning for their in

district self-contained and thus recommended we put him into a regular 2nd grade

with an aide and supposed supports. We were told that the aide would be shared

with one other child. The school year began and the aide was not just for 2

children but several classified children in the class (more than 5). The teacher

had complained to other parents that this was a tough class because she had so

many children with needs. We were

immediately concerned, but gave them a chance. As school has progressed our

son has clearly regressed in academics, attention, behavior etc. His

non-compliance is quite high, but according to the teacher and the in district

behaviorist, this is who he is and a behavior plan would not help.

In addition to not having an aide for himself, behavior plan, sensory diet

etc. he has had major issues during lunch and recess because they refuse to

provide aide. The speech therapist stated that this is life and he must learn to

regulate himself. He has been hit, teased, cornered, bullied and has gone into

his own world even more. The school stated that he is making it all up in order

to seek attention from me. The aide and the teacher have also lost their

patience with him and scream at him in front of the class that he is rude. He

did not want to participate in music class because the volume scared him, but

the aide and music teacher each grabbed an arm and made him participate. The

school's psychology report stated that the kids do not know how to respond to

him and have distanced themselves from him. But the teacher states that

everything is fine. She stated that he was tiring and refuses to do new and

challenging work and that I should just not make him do

it. Aghh!!!

Since our son was just reevaluated, we were not in agreement with the IEP and

formally told them so. We would like an aide for our son, a behavior plan,

training for the aide, sensory diet and more social support as well as

sensitivity training for the class. We were officially informed yesterday that

if these are the supports we feel he needs, then he needs to go back to his old

special ed placement. We do not feel this is what is best for him, but we don't

know what to do. We would really like a district that believes in inclusion, but

that provides the supports needed to make it happen successfully. As you all

know, change is not an easy thing and my son has already gone through so much

that I am primarily concerned with his emotional well being.

Sorry for the long note, but I could use some help. What I wrote above is only

a fraction of the issues we have had, many more have taken place.

Again, thanks for any help that you could provide.

Luz

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