Guest guest Posted September 18, 2005 Report Share Posted September 18, 2005 , I have a ds who is also in the 3rd grade this year. We have dealt with the very same issues with him since kindergarten. I usually lose my cool and yell at him also. This year he hasn't brought home a single homework paper. I think the school has just given up on him. We are having an IEP meeting soon and I will discuss this with the school then. I hope that someone here has the answers for you. I could also use the help. Patti > My ds (3rd grader this year) hates to do school work, > therefore he dislikes school. He has homework nightly > (Interestingly this year its less than last year), one > page, maybe two to do (supposed to take fifteen > minutes). Homework takes an hour because he is > constantly goofing around. I sit right next to him, > usually, to keep him on task. Sometimes I leave him, > that usually results in him doing his work very poorly > (ie. he'll write mommy's stupid all over the paper). > This homework issue has been the same since he was in > first grade. I've tried disrupting this cycle by > trying new ways to deal with this issue. He is aware > of the consequences (if he doesn't complete the > assignment he could lose free time during class the > next day to make up the assignment or loss of a > privledge at home). > I would like to know if this is a common problem > among Aspies and how can I get him to want to complete > the work, and in a timely manner. He knows that I > liked doing homework, no lie, and I give him plenty of > praise and encouragement, but it is only minimally > helpful. Ps; I get incredibly frustrated usually and > end up yelling at him. Any ideas??? > > > > > > __________________________________ > - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005 > http://mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2006 Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 Hi, It's me back again! I need to vent, and maybe get some support from other families... Jenna I think is clinically depressed. We have just called the Doctor and have an appt on Friday. My concern is that the Dr. when I spoke to her today was not supportive to my husband or myself when I called. I told her that Jenna had shut down in life, still goes to school, still comes home, but refuses to do anything else. She has had the computer (her life), the TV (her life), and her room taken away from her over the past 3 months to try to encourage/motivate her to do some work!! When she starts showing us her work completed she will get the computer and the tv back. The room is not negotiable. (She does have a room, a smaller room with less clutter, not the room she wanted though). She has put up a wall and refuses...the battle of the wills now. We have had 3 teachers call us since school started to let us know that she is falling behind in all her studies. We are at the end of our rope, and the doctor tells us that maybe we aren't handling her anxiety properly, that she is special and she can't be treated like any other to get her to progress. How much of this is typical teenage behaviour and how much is aspergers? She is so smart, it's hard to assess the real problem. We obviously have not been successful in handling Jenna or we would not be calling for help. Is there anyone who is dealing with similar teenage behaviour? Jenna is a high functioning aspie, with anxiety and ocd, I am wondering if she also has oppositional defiant disorder as well. What do we do? My husband is at the end of his rope, he says when she turns 16yrs, she's out! It is really affecting the rest of the family 12 and 8yr old sisters. The screaming and fighting with her, she is very verbal. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2006 Report Share Posted October 4, 2006 , we have similar issues with my 15 (almost 16) year old son. We never know what is " typical " teenage behavior and what is Asperger behavior. My son is very independant but has no responsibility. Our family life is very disrupted. I can totally relate. Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2006 Report Share Posted October 4, 2006 Hi Pam, Thanks for responding, what are you doing for discipline with your son? What are you doing about the lack of responsibility? Is your son medicated or has he ever been? Does he have Anxiety?? I would be really happy to hear back from you to see if something will work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 5, 2006 Report Share Posted October 5, 2006 Hi Pam, Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions. It is so nice to have someone who understands what life is like in our house. It's getting worse with Jenna these days, she really HATES me! She sees me as the creator of all stupid rules and that my husband is just doing what I tell him to do, enforcing the rules! She is extremely verbal and is always creating verbal fights with me. Tonight she was given 10 minutes on the computer and we actually set the timer to go off so there wouldn't be any discrepencies. When the timer went off, she said she was saying goodbye to her friends, but then proceded to continue for another 30 minutes as I was occupied with another child. (Husband sick in bed with the flu). When I booted her off the computer she continued over to stand in front of the TV which I had just turned on and sat down to with a nice hot cup of tea. She then turned off the TV and satelitte and basically told me to ..... ... To see how it felt. She says she will never respect me, but she will respect her father. Taking away things from her has not been a positive experience. It has been a backlash. We have taken away the computer, the TV privliges, and her room. (switched with her little sister) The only thing we won't give back is the room. Done, closed for discussion, over! She doesn't get it. We will of course give her back her computer and the TV, but the room is not going back. And this is of course what she wants most. I am finding it very hard to live with her anymore. The estrogen in this house has just about reached it's limit! And of course the 2 younger sisters think this behaviour is possibly acceptable. We have given her a cell phone for safety as well, but most of the time it sits in her purse or somewhere in the house uncharged. She doesn't remember to do anything. I am going to the Doctor who diagnosed her AS in the morning 0800, I hope she will have some words of wisdom for us, possibly a medication which will help her focus on her studies. (a miracle would be nice) This doctor is very pro autism and I know I should expect to hear an earful on how what we are doing is not conducive to Jenna's disability... Anyhow I just wanted to say thanks for listening and your words of wisdom...we were put on this earth for a purpose and maybe our children have brought us here for each other on this site...support and compassion. . [] - <mailto:- > > > > > , our discipline approach here is that we know where he is and he > carries a phone at all times. He is mostly a homebody, but does go out quite a bit > on the weekends with friends. We have created a written " contract " with > him at home and that has helped for him to see concretely what he has agreed to > (showering daily, completing homework, carrying a charged cell phone at all > times, respectful language, etc.). My son has to see that he is " part " of > the decision making as far as discipline. If we back him into a corner and say > something like " No because we said so... " we will be heading for an all out > war. After a year spent last year, doing no homework, failing two classes > and missing 16 days of school, he is now being evaluated for an IEP. My son > took Zoloft for several years a while back and it seemed to help. We took him > off all medications about a year and a half ago and clearly see no difference > (better or worse). The ages of 12-14 were terrible as far as his angry > outbursts and defiance of authority goes. I feel there was a direct link between > the behavior and puberty. He has calmed down a bit and really doesn't go > " off " unless he is backed into a corner or really provoked. I always say that > this is not the way I thought I would parent my child. It is very different > and oftentimes doesn't feel " good " . My son has to be held accountable for > his behavior, decisions and actions. But I struggle with whether he is really > able to make those decisions and whether he can handle that level of > responsibility. I am very concerned for his future because of his rigidness around > employment and plans to support himself. Pam > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 5, 2006 Report Share Posted October 5, 2006 Thanks I wrote a reply to Pam, but it's for you too [: " >] . Thanks for the support. Teenagers are an interesting bunch. Love it though! I'll try to write back tomorrow with what the dr. comes up with. I think counselling is a good start for Jenna and I. Thinking of you all, Prayers to all moms of Aspies. . > > > > Hi, > > It's me back again! > > I need to vent, and maybe get some support from other families... > > Jenna I think is clinically depressed. We have just called the > > Doctor and have an appt on Friday. My concern is that the Dr. > when > > I spoke to her today was not supportive to my husband or myself > when > > I called. I told her that Jenna had shut down in life, still goes > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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