Guest guest Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 Hi, I know that you're already upset and I don't want to upset you further but reading your post upset me. Your kids have special needs, as do mine, but your kids, their need for suppliments and their need to be held - even if it is more than usual, is not the problem - your schedule is. Kids get pushed and pulled these days and we adults blame them, for somehow sucking at our time, our need to be on time, hell I do it too sometimes but it's us that's in the wrong - we're the adults. I spend every waking moment with my kids from 5 am to 8 pm - troubles or no. I homeschool my kids. At night I work, from 9-11pm. I run a large family corporation. I don't sell trinkets on ebay or do party plan selling - I run a huge corporate entertainment business and even if my eyes are hanging out of my head at 9 oclock - I make it work. I am not saying that you are not a good parent - you, like so many others are just stretching yourself too thin. It's a modern disease. You can suffer from it and feel the pains or you can make some family/soul healing decisions. And don't say well it's fine for you not everyone can do it - cause I didn't always do what I do now, no one handed my ability to stay home and care for my kids to me on a platter - I've taken some hard lumps and fought for it - because in the end - work and modern life is the hassle, children are what really count. a --- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...> wrote: > Since school started for my 4 year old I have been > running around > with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed > kindergarden in > the morning and a regular private kindergarden in > the afternoon. I > think she can handle the schedule most of the time > but she is > getting double homework. I work full time and so > does my husband. > He has been working nights this month so I have been > dropping off > the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I > am running 15 > minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing > my daughter's > supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes > the night > before and make as much of her lunch as I can > (except enzyme mixed > in peanut butter). My son (22 months with > Regulatory Disorder, > Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of > preparing > everything. He needs to be held and slows > everything down. > Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to > school by 8:10. > We are usually late or just in time. I have been > getting more > aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements > into my daughter > and I am getting up over 2 hours before school > starts. I rush to > pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and > do not get home > until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything > and it would not > matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to > eat dinner. > Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as > one kids hits > someone and the other starts screaming and no one > eating. Somehow I > try to give them a bath every few nights and do > homework everynight. > I never spend anytime playing with them, especially > my son. The > kids have no down time and I feel this is part of > why they are both > so difficult. I don't know how to get everything > done. Before all > this homework things were better, but also I was not > doing all these > supplements before. > > I could use some suggestions, > > Jen > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small Business (http://smallbusiness.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 Jen, I have to agree with a, life is too short to never smell the roses. Your children are being subjected to too much stress, and your stress is there stress. I am surprised you have a 4 year old in kindergarten, and with double homework! That's a little ridiculous. You don't have to do all of the homework just because it is given. That should be down time for your family to share the day and love each other if you are getting home that late. That is a huge day for a young child. I am wondering if behavior problems could start if that pace continues. My son had full day K and now 1st grade and we do 15 min of homework a night and that's it. If it's too stressful to get to I tell them we will do it over the weekend. The short time you are with your children you want them to enjoy and not think of it and you negatively. By the way, this is not a criticism. This is typical of the modern lifestyle. I think this lifestyle is causing some serious behavior problems in our children that we didn't see in past generations. We are all guilty of running like a hamster on a wheel. Sometimes we all just need to remind each other what is important in life, why we are here, and especially what kind of lessons are we teaching our children. Good luck, Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2006 Report Share Posted October 28, 2006 I agree with both of you but do not know what to do now. We have already gone backrupt and have trouble making ends meet as it is. We both need to work to try to make ends meet. I tried to stay home in the past but my salary is necessary (California and we are only in an apartment). I considered holding my daughter back in preschool but she will be 5 next week and was ready to move forward. She has the homework daily for the special ed class. This is the class that is needed but causes the most problems. The homework for the other school is mostly done in the homework lab and a page on the weekend. This school is helpful for working parents and is where she gets most of her social interaction. In preschool she was in an inclusion class with both NT and IEP kids. I wanted to make sure her only interaction was not with only kids with the same social problems as her. So I mostly like the set up of both schools. She is the kind of kid that thrives on structure. But there is a lot of down time for the kids too. If the schedule was the only problem I would have her only in the private school, but she still needs special ed. I know this schedule is not preferred but is certainly the norm. Both parents usually need to work. What I need is to reorganize the time available. I am sorry to vent on the forum but it helped me look at things from a different point. Last night we had a good time together and it reminded me to remember how much my mood effects the kids. Jen > > Jen, > > I have to agree with a, life is too short to never smell the > roses. Your children are being subjected to too much stress, and > your stress is there stress. I am surprised you have a 4 year old > in kindergarten, and with double homework! That's a little > ridiculous. You don't have to do all of the homework just because > it is given. That should be down time for your family to share the > day and love each other if you are getting home that late. That is > a huge day for a young child. I am wondering if behavior problems > could start if that pace continues. My son had full day K and now > 1st grade and we do 15 min of homework a night and that's it. If > it's too stressful to get to I tell them we will do it over the > weekend. The short time you are with your children you want them to > enjoy and not think of it and you negatively. > > By the way, this is not a criticism. This is typical of the modern > lifestyle. I think this lifestyle is causing some serious behavior > problems in our children that we didn't see in past generations. We > are all guilty of running like a hamster on a wheel. Sometimes we > all just need to remind each other what is important in life, why we > are here, and especially what kind of lessons are we teaching our > children. > > Good luck, > > Debbie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2006 Report Share Posted October 28, 2006 I am sorry that it seems as if everyone else is putting you down instead of maybe giving you some advice on how to make all the stress in your life a little easier. First, ask your daughter's pediatrician if there are supplements that you could give her that you won't have to mix. but, if she won't take them without you mixing them into food, well you're stuck there. About your daughter's homework load, I would talk to her teachers. More than 15 minutes a night is WAY too much for such a young child. I teach 3rd grade and my students don't get anymore than 15-30 minutes each night (except Fridays). If she is getting homework from both Kindergartens then I would talk to them about maybe doing on every other day thing with them. Do the homework from one teacher one night and the homework from the other the next night. As for the not cooking deal. I know what you mean. I am a full time teacher, I have a 3 year old (who will be getting tested for As next month, he's a VERY difficult child) and a 10 month old baby. My husband is in Kuwait and won't be home for about a year from now. I don't have time to cook and it doesn't matter anyway because my son won't eat anything I cook and my daughter can't eat yet. So, when I do cook, I usually end up very irritated at my son because he refuses to eat. I just usually make some chicken nuggets and instant mashed potatos for him. He WON " T eat vegetables at all. so I don't even try. That is about the extent of what he will eat. You could, when you get a chance, make several meals in advance (like a lansagna or something) and put them into the freezer. then on the days where you don't have a chance to cook, you can just re-heat. I have done that in the past (when my husband was home). That way, while the food is heating, you can spend some quality time with your kids. It's hard to manage everything, especially when it seems like you never have enough time ever. But eventually, you will find the system that works for you and your kids. Don't let other people put you down for not being a stay at home mom. Some people just can't stay at home (financially or otherwise). I chose to go back to work, I need that time away from home and my kids are fine. Stay strong, and stay sane. -- Felicia ---- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...> wrote: > Since school started for my 4 year old I have been running around > with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed kindergarden in > the morning and a regular private kindergarden in the afternoon. I > think she can handle the schedule most of the time but she is > getting double homework. I work full time and so does my husband. > He has been working nights this month so I have been dropping off > the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I am running 15 > minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing my daughter's > supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes the night > before and make as much of her lunch as I can (except enzyme mixed > in peanut butter). My son (22 months with Regulatory Disorder, > Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of preparing > everything. He needs to be held and slows everything down. > Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to school by 8:10. > We are usually late or just in time. I have been getting more > aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements into my daughter > and I am getting up over 2 hours before school starts. I rush to > pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and do not get home > until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything and it would not > matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to eat dinner. > Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as one kids hits > someone and the other starts screaming and no one eating. Somehow I > try to give them a bath every few nights and do homework everynight. > I never spend anytime playing with them, especially my son. The > kids have no down time and I feel this is part of why they are both > so difficult. I don't know how to get everything done. Before all > this homework things were better, but also I was not doing all these > supplements before. > > I could use some suggestions, > > Jen > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2006 Report Share Posted October 28, 2006 Hi , I didn't mean to come down on you or anything but I know from experience that the kind of stress that is created by burning the candle at both ends gets you nowhere but sick, depressed and worn out. I understand the Cali thing cause I live here myself and it's expensive - no doubt about it - especially if you're living in and around LA right now because rents have doubled in some places. But that said, you've got to think about how you can loosen up your schedule. If you sit down with a piece of paper and write out the costs of childcare/double kindergarten, work commute/gas, work lunches, work clothes and related expenses and deduct that whole amount from your salary (after tax) then that is the figure that is the amount you're really working for. We started out improving our situation by reading books on how to budget and get financially freed up, you can learn a lot from some of the advice out there in the market. Best, a --- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...> wrote: > I agree with both of you but do not know what to do > now. We have > already gone backrupt and have trouble making ends > meet as it is. We > both need to work to try to make ends meet. I tried > to stay home in > the past but my salary is necessary (California and > we are only in an > apartment). I considered holding my daughter back > in preschool but > she will be 5 next week and was ready to move > forward. She has the > homework daily for the special ed class. This is > the class that is > needed but causes the most problems. The homework > for the other > school is mostly done in the homework lab and a page > on the weekend. > This school is helpful for working parents and is > where she gets most > of her social interaction. In preschool she was in > an inclusion class > with both NT and IEP kids. I wanted to make sure > her only interaction > was not with only kids with the same social problems > as her. So I > mostly like the set up of both schools. She is the > kind of kid that > thrives on structure. But there is a lot of down > time for the kids > too. If the schedule was the only problem I would > have her only in > the private school, but she still needs special ed. > > > I know this schedule is not preferred but is > certainly the norm. Both > parents usually need to work. What I need is to > reorganize the time > available. I am sorry to vent on the forum but it > helped me look at > things from a different point. Last night we had a > good time together > and it reminded me to remember how much my mood > effects the kids. > > Jen > > > > > > Jen, > > > > I have to agree with a, life is too short to > never smell the > > roses. Your children are being subjected to too > much stress, and > > your stress is there stress. I am surprised you > have a 4 year old > > in kindergarten, and with double homework! That's > a little > > ridiculous. You don't have to do all of the > homework just because > > it is given. That should be down time for your > family to share the > > day and love each other if you are getting home > that late. That is > > a huge day for a young child. I am wondering if > behavior problems > > could start if that pace continues. My son had > full day K and now > > 1st grade and we do 15 min of homework a night and > that's it. If > > it's too stressful to get to I tell them we will > do it over the > > weekend. The short time you are with your > children you want them to > > enjoy and not think of it and you negatively. > > > > By the way, this is not a criticism. This is > typical of the modern > > lifestyle. I think this lifestyle is causing some > serious behavior > > problems in our children that we didn't see in > past generations. We > > are all guilty of running like a hamster on a > wheel. Sometimes we > > all just need to remind each other what is > important in life, why we > > are here, and especially what kind of lessons are > we teaching our > > children. > > > > Good luck, > > > > Debbie > > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ __________ Check out the New - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster. (http://advision.webevents./mailbeta) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2006 Report Share Posted October 28, 2006 I would decide what you feel is working and what is not working. Are the supplements helping vs. the problems getting her take them? Otherwise, stop doing it. What in the world is homework in Kindergarten? I think playing and hanging out and being a family - eating a meal together! - is more important than homework in kindergarten! Make your priorities and then make it happen. Not simple but necessary. Roxanna ( ) losing my cool Since school started for my 4 year old I have been running around with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed kindergarden in the morning and a regular private kindergarden in the afternoon. I think she can handle the schedule most of the time but she is getting double homework. I work full time and so does my husband. He has been working nights this month so I have been dropping off the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I am running 15 minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing my daughter's supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes the night before and make as much of her lunch as I can (except enzyme mixed in peanut butter). My son (22 months with Regulatory Disorder, Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of preparing everything. He needs to be held and slows everything down. Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to school by 8:10. We are usually late or just in time. I have been getting more aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements into my daughter and I am getting up over 2 hours before school starts. I rush to pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and do not get home until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything and it would not matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to eat dinner. Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as one kids hits someone and the other starts screaming and no one eating. Somehow I try to give them a bath every few nights and do homework everynight. I never spend anytime playing with them, especially my son. The kids have no down time and I feel this is part of why they are both so difficult. I don't know how to get everything done. Before all this homework things were better, but also I was not doing all these supplements before. I could use some suggestions, Jen ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.408 / Virus Database: 268.13.17/505 - Release Date: 10/27/2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 We have just started chelation so the supplements have increased in amount and frequency. Every intervention so far has helped a lot, so I want to continue. The homework for the special ed addresses the specific issues she has in class. It is a good thing but goes out on Monday and is due Friday. Jen > > I would decide what you feel is working and what is not working. Are the supplements helping vs. the problems getting her take them? Otherwise, stop doing it. What in the world is homework in Kindergarten? I think playing and hanging out and being a family - eating a meal together! - is more important than homework in kindergarten! Make your priorities and then make it happen. Not simple but necessary. > > Roxanna > ( ) losing my cool > > > Since school started for my 4 year old I have been running around > with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed kindergarden in > the morning and a regular private kindergarden in the afternoon. I > think she can handle the schedule most of the time but she is > getting double homework. I work full time and so does my husband. > He has been working nights this month so I have been dropping off > the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I am running 15 > minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing my daughter's > supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes the night > before and make as much of her lunch as I can (except enzyme mixed > in peanut butter). My son (22 months with Regulatory Disorder, > Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of preparing > everything. He needs to be held and slows everything down. > Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to school by 8:10. > We are usually late or just in time. I have been getting more > aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements into my daughter > and I am getting up over 2 hours before school starts. I rush to > pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and do not get home > until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything and it would not > matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to eat dinner. > Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as one kids hits > someone and the other starts screaming and no one eating. Somehow I > try to give them a bath every few nights and do homework everynight. > I never spend anytime playing with them, especially my son. The > kids have no down time and I feel this is part of why they are both > so difficult. I don't know how to get everything done. Before all > this homework things were better, but also I was not doing all these > supplements before. > > I could use some suggestions, > > Jen > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG Free Edition. > Version: 7.1.408 / Virus Database: 268.13.17/505 - Release Date: 10/27/2006 > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 a, It must be nice to be able to spend that much time with your kids, but you are also an extremily rare part of the population who can spend 2 hours a night working and be able to make ends meet. a Louise <tpaulalouise@...> wrote: Hi, I know that you're already upset and I don't want to upset you further but reading your post upset me. Your kids have special needs, as do mine, but your kids, their need for suppliments and their need to be held - even if it is more than usual, is not the problem - your schedule is. Kids get pushed and pulled these days and we adults blame them, for somehow sucking at our time, our need to be on time, hell I do it too sometimes but it's us that's in the wrong - we're the adults. I spend every waking moment with my kids from 5 am to 8 pm - troubles or no. I homeschool my kids. At night I work, from 9-11pm. I run a large family corporation. I don't sell trinkets on ebay or do party plan selling - I run a huge corporate entertainment business and even if my eyes are hanging out of my head at 9 oclock - I make it work. I am not saying that you are not a good parent - you, like so many others are just stretching yourself too thin. It's a modern disease. You can suffer from it and feel the pains or you can make some family/soul healing decisions. And don't say well it's fine for you not everyone can do it - cause I didn't always do what I do now, no one handed my ability to stay home and care for my kids to me on a platter - I've taken some hard lumps and fought for it - because in the end - work and modern life is the hassle, children are what really count. a --- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...> wrote: > Since school started for my 4 year old I have been > running around > with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed > kindergarden in > the morning and a regular private kindergarden in > the afternoon. I > think she can handle the schedule most of the time > but she is > getting double homework. I work full time and so > does my husband. > He has been working nights this month so I have been > dropping off > the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I > am running 15 > minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing > my daughter's > supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes > the night > before and make as much of her lunch as I can > (except enzyme mixed > in peanut butter). My son (22 months with > Regulatory Disorder, > Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of > preparing > everything. He needs to be held and slows > everything down. > Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to > school by 8:10. > We are usually late or just in time. I have been > getting more > aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements > into my daughter > and I am getting up over 2 hours before school > starts. I rush to > pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and > do not get home > until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything > and it would not > matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to > eat dinner. > Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as > one kids hits > someone and the other starts screaming and no one > eating. Somehow I > try to give them a bath every few nights and do > homework everynight. > I never spend anytime playing with them, especially > my son. The > kids have no down time and I feel this is part of > why they are both > so difficult. I don't know how to get everything > done. Before all > this homework things were better, but also I was not > doing all these > supplements before. > > I could use some suggestions, > > Jen > > > __________________________________________________________ Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small Business (http://smallbusiness.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Jen, There really isn't enough time in a day! I feel the same way as you. It's hard to believe how much homework a little kindergartner has, my son could spend about 45 GRUELING minutes on his kindergarten homework last year. It's crazy! I wish I had the answers for you. I think the reality is that many of us are really struggling at home with multiple little ones with special needs. *sigh* Liz Houston Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: a, It must be nice to be able to spend that much time with your kids, but you are also an extremily rare part of the population who can spend 2 hours a night working and be able to make ends meet. a Louise <tpaulalouise@...> wrote: Hi, I know that you're already upset and I don't want to upset you further but reading your post upset me. Your kids have special needs, as do mine, but your kids, their need for suppliments and their need to be held - even if it is more than usual, is not the problem - your schedule is. Kids get pushed and pulled these days and we adults blame them, for somehow sucking at our time, our need to be on time, hell I do it too sometimes but it's us that's in the wrong - we're the adults. I spend every waking moment with my kids from 5 am to 8 pm - troubles or no. I homeschool my kids. At night I work, from 9-11pm. I run a large family corporation. I don't sell trinkets on ebay or do party plan selling - I run a huge corporate entertainment business and even if my eyes are hanging out of my head at 9 oclock - I make it work. I am not saying that you are not a good parent - you, like so many others are just stretching yourself too thin. It's a modern disease. You can suffer from it and feel the pains or you can make some family/soul healing decisions. And don't say well it's fine for you not everyone can do it - cause I didn't always do what I do now, no one handed my ability to stay home and care for my kids to me on a platter - I've taken some hard lumps and fought for it - because in the end - work and modern life is the hassle, children are what really count. a --- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...> wrote: > Since school started for my 4 year old I have been > running around > with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed > kindergarden in > the morning and a regular private kindergarden in > the afternoon. I > think she can handle the schedule most of the time > but she is > getting double homework. I work full time and so > does my husband. > He has been working nights this month so I have been > dropping off > the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I > am running 15 > minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing > my daughter's > supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes > the night > before and make as much of her lunch as I can > (except enzyme mixed > in peanut butter). My son (22 months with > Regulatory Disorder, > Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of > preparing > everything. He needs to be held and slows > everything down. > Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to > school by 8:10. > We are usually late or just in time. I have been > getting more > aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements > into my daughter > and I am getting up over 2 hours before school > starts. I rush to > pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and > do not get home > until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything > and it would not > matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to > eat dinner. > Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as > one kids hits > someone and the other starts screaming and no one > eating. Somehow I > try to give them a bath every few nights and do > homework everynight. > I never spend anytime playing with them, especially > my son. The > kids have no down time and I feel this is part of > why they are both > so difficult. I don't know how to get everything > done. Before all > this homework things were better, but also I was not > doing all these > supplements before. > > I could use some suggestions, > > Jen > > > __________________________________________________________ Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small Business (http://smallbusiness.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Tony Attwood wrote a great paper on this. http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/paper8.htm Tonya Re: ( ) losing my cool Jen, There really isn't enough time in a day! I feel the same way as you. It's hard to believe how much homework a little kindergartner has, my son could spend about 45 GRUELING minutes on his kindergarten homework last year. It's crazy! I wish I had the answers for you. I think the reality is that many of us are really struggling at home with multiple little ones with special needs. *sigh* Liz Houston Essenfeld <lessensbcglobal (DOT) <mailto:lessen%40sbcglobal.net> net> wrote: a, It must be nice to be able to spend that much time with your kids, but you are also an extremily rare part of the population who can spend 2 hours a night working and be able to make ends meet. a Louise <tpaulalouise@ <mailto:tpaulalouise%40> > wrote: Hi, I know that you're already upset and I don't want to upset you further but reading your post upset me. Your kids have special needs, as do mine, but your kids, their need for suppliments and their need to be held - even if it is more than usual, is not the problem - your schedule is. Kids get pushed and pulled these days and we adults blame them, for somehow sucking at our time, our need to be on time, hell I do it too sometimes but it's us that's in the wrong - we're the adults. I spend every waking moment with my kids from 5 am to 8 pm - troubles or no. I homeschool my kids. At night I work, from 9-11pm. I run a large family corporation. I don't sell trinkets on ebay or do party plan selling - I run a huge corporate entertainment business and even if my eyes are hanging out of my head at 9 oclock - I make it work. I am not saying that you are not a good parent - you, like so many others are just stretching yourself too thin. It's a modern disease. You can suffer from it and feel the pains or you can make some family/soul healing decisions. And don't say well it's fine for you not everyone can do it - cause I didn't always do what I do now, no one handed my ability to stay home and care for my kids to me on a platter - I've taken some hard lumps and fought for it - because in the end - work and modern life is the hassle, children are what really count. a --- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@ <mailto:jennifer_thorson%40> > wrote: > Since school started for my 4 year old I have been > running around > with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed > kindergarden in > the morning and a regular private kindergarden in > the afternoon. I > think she can handle the schedule most of the time > but she is > getting double homework. I work full time and so > does my husband. > He has been working nights this month so I have been > dropping off > the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I > am running 15 > minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing > my daughter's > supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes > the night > before and make as much of her lunch as I can > (except enzyme mixed > in peanut butter). My son (22 months with > Regulatory Disorder, > Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of > preparing > everything. He needs to be held and slows > everything down. > Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to > school by 8:10. > We are usually late or just in time. I have been > getting more > aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements > into my daughter > and I am getting up over 2 hours before school > starts. I rush to > pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and > do not get home > until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything > and it would not > matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to > eat dinner. > Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as > one kids hits > someone and the other starts screaming and no one > eating. Somehow I > try to give them a bath every few nights and do > homework everynight. > I never spend anytime playing with them, especially > my son. The > kids have no down time and I feel this is part of > why they are both > so difficult. I don't know how to get everything > done. Before all > this homework things were better, but also I was not > doing all these > supplements before. > > I could use some suggestions, > > Jen > > > __________________________________________________________ Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small Business (http://smallbusines <http://smallbusiness.> s.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 It has been months since that post and things are much better. I was able to get the two schools to limit the homework. She does some in the afternoon at the private school on 3-4 days and then 1-2 nights at home for special ed. Instead of fighting with her on a nightly basis to get one page done, I have been only having homework night 1-2 nights for more pages which allows us to get baths in and time to just chill out. Dinner may not always be the best, but there is less stress. In my daughter's case the right balance has been routine and then unstructured play of her choice. Giving her options helps a lot. I know some thought that she did not need to be pushed so hard in kindergarten and homework was unnecessary. But this is a child who was developmentally behind and then started to have a huge developmental leap. For her to catch up she has to make more progress than the average child. So in the last year she has gone from the development of a 2-3 year old to about a 4 1/2 year old. She is 5 and is cognitively advanced which is why this is possible. She still is developmentally behind, but not by much and only has a small language delay as opposed to only scripted speech. She advances by being around a small group of kids her age or older who set examples for behavior as well as give her the emotional support she needs. The routine demands a lot of her with her ADHD tendencies, but she has learned self- control. Although she does need to have some decompression time at home. So this is working for us, but is certainly not a standard model for AS children. Jen > > > Since school started for my 4 year old I have been > > running around > > with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed > > kindergarden in > > the morning and a regular private kindergarden in > > the afternoon. I > > think she can handle the schedule most of the time > > but she is > > getting double homework. I work full time and so > > does my husband. > > He has been working nights this month so I have been > > dropping off > > the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I > > am running 15 > > minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing > > my daughter's > > supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes > > the night > > before and make as much of her lunch as I can > > (except enzyme mixed > > in peanut butter). My son (22 months with > > Regulatory Disorder, > > Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of > > preparing > > everything. He needs to be held and slows > > everything down. > > Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to > > school by 8:10. > > We are usually late or just in time. I have been > > getting more > > aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements > > into my daughter > > and I am getting up over 2 hours before school > > starts. I rush to > > pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and > > do not get home > > until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything > > and it would not > > matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to > > eat dinner. > > Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as > > one kids hits > > someone and the other starts screaming and no one > > eating. Somehow I > > try to give them a bath every few nights and do > > homework everynight. > > I never spend anytime playing with them, especially > > my son. The > > kids have no down time and I feel this is part of > > why they are both > > so difficult. I don't know how to get everything > > done. Before all > > this homework things were better, but also I was not > > doing all these > > supplements before. > > > > I could use some suggestions, > > > > Jen > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________ > Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small Business > (http://smallbusiness.) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Its hard to deal with regular kids, let alone kids with issues. I completely understand. (11yo/ADHD/HG/AS??, 7yo/NT and 4yo/SLD/HFA??) This is what I am doing. My husband and I currently both work full-time. I get everyone pick up/home by 6PM, on GOOD DAYS dinner is ready by 7PM. BUT many times are we hurrying to finsh dinner before bedtime at 8PM. We actually moved back my 6th graders bedtime back to 9PM in order to give him more time for homework/free time. 1.)In October I decided that I am not doing anything WELL (whether its for my three boys, my husband, or my boss), and I made the decision to scoop the stuff I CAN control off my plate, ie working outside the home...So we are trying to phase my income out over 8 months. Now, for me, that doesn't mean I'm going to stop having an income, I've already picked up some data entry work and can run an ad to pick up more if need be. I also have started putting out " feelers " for contract admin work in a part time/temp situation with a local headhunter to keep my brain busy and skills fresh in case of an emergency. 2.)We are moving to a smaller community with lower property values which means lower property taxes. Get more house for our buck. 3.)To help with feeling " insane " and run down, I changed my way of thinking. " I am a mother who works while my kids are in school " and not a " Worker with kids " . For some reason this has helped my attitude, I seem to have just a little bit more stretch that helps me get everything else done. Its not fair to my kids to have to deal with a BEAR of a mommy that is run ragged. 4.)Started carrying a planner again. 5.)Got back on my " Happy Pills " although I am not a pro-medication person. Its hard to quit working outside the home cold turkey, but if you look at replacing your income with something a little more flexible. Over time it might be an option. Recently, I've looked at saving money as a hobby instead of a chore, after I found the Pantry Challenge Group. I feel for you, last week I was " at my wits end " , and had to regroup. Whatever your decision is the most important thing is the kids. - Richelle 29yo, Anchorage, Alaska Personal Assistant, Chauffeur and Automatic Treat Dispenser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 I like the idea of working while my kids are in school. That is my plan but awhile off since my son is 2 and I make most of the family income. But my plan is to work until 2:00 when my son starts 1st grade. I figure the lost wages will be ok if I am not paying daycare for 2 kids. Jen > > Its hard to deal with regular kids, let alone kids with issues. I > completely understand. (11yo/ADHD/HG/AS??, 7yo/NT and 4yo/SLD/HFA??) > > This is what I am doing. > > My husband and I currently both work full-time. I get everyone pick > up/home by 6PM, on GOOD DAYS dinner is ready by 7PM. BUT many times > are we hurrying to finsh dinner before bedtime at 8PM. We actually > moved back my 6th graders bedtime back to 9PM in order to give him > more time for homework/free time. > > 1.)In October I decided that I am not doing anything WELL (whether its > for my three boys, my husband, or my boss), and I made the decision to > scoop the stuff I CAN control off my plate, ie working outside the > home...So we are trying to phase my income out over 8 months. Now, for > me, that doesn't mean I'm going to stop having an income, I've already > picked up some data entry work and can run an ad to pick up more if > need be. I also have started putting out " feelers " for contract admin > work in a part time/temp situation with a local headhunter to keep my > brain busy and skills fresh in case of an emergency. > > 2.)We are moving to a smaller community with lower property values > which means lower property taxes. Get more house for our buck. > > 3.)To help with feeling " insane " and run down, I changed my way of > thinking. " I am a mother who works while my kids are in school " and > not a " Worker with kids " . For some reason this has helped my attitude, > I seem to have just a little bit more stretch that helps me get > everything else done. Its not fair to my kids to have to deal with a > BEAR of a mommy that is run ragged. > > 4.)Started carrying a planner again. > > 5.)Got back on my " Happy Pills " although I am not a pro-medication person. > > Its hard to quit working outside the home cold turkey, but if you look > at replacing your income with something a little more flexible. Over > time it might be an option. Recently, I've looked at saving money as a > hobby instead of a chore, after I found the Pantry Challenge Group. > > I feel for you, last week I was " at my wits end " , and had to regroup. > Whatever your decision is the most important thing is the kids. > > - Richelle > 29yo, Anchorage, Alaska > Personal Assistant, Chauffeur and Automatic Treat Dispenser > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 We are off to see Tony Attwood speak in two weeks time on helping kids with HFA and AS deal with emotions and social issues. It should be great. Re: ( ) losing my cool Jen, There really isn't enough time in a day! I feel the same way as you. It's hard to believe how much homework a little kindergartner has, my son could spend about 45 GRUELING minutes on his kindergarten homework last year. It's crazy! I wish I had the answers for you. I think the reality is that many of us are really struggling at home with multiple little ones with special needs. *sigh* Liz Houston Essenfeld <lessensbcglobal (DOT) <mailto:lessen%40sbcglobal.net> net> wrote: a, It must be nice to be able to spend that much time with your kids, but you are also an extremily rare part of the population who can spend 2 hours a night working and be able to make ends meet. a Louise <tpaulalouise@ <mailto:tpaulalouise%40> > wrote: Hi, I know that you're already upset and I don't want to upset you further but reading your post upset me. Your kids have special needs, as do mine, but your kids, their need for suppliments and their need to be held - even if it is more than usual, is not the problem - your schedule is. Kids get pushed and pulled these days and we adults blame them, for somehow sucking at our time, our need to be on time, hell I do it too sometimes but it's us that's in the wrong - we're the adults. I spend every waking moment with my kids from 5 am to 8 pm - troubles or no. I homeschool my kids. At night I work, from 9-11pm. I run a large family corporation. I don't sell trinkets on ebay or do party plan selling - I run a huge corporate entertainment business and even if my eyes are hanging out of my head at 9 oclock - I make it work. I am not saying that you are not a good parent - you, like so many others are just stretching yourself too thin. It's a modern disease. You can suffer from it and feel the pains or you can make some family/soul healing decisions. And don't say well it's fine for you not everyone can do it - cause I didn't always do what I do now, no one handed my ability to stay home and care for my kids to me on a platter - I've taken some hard lumps and fought for it - because in the end - work and modern life is the hassle, children are what really count. a --- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@ <mailto:jennifer_thorson%40> > wrote: > Since school started for my 4 year old I have been > running around > with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed > kindergarden in > the morning and a regular private kindergarden in > the afternoon. I > think she can handle the schedule most of the time > but she is > getting double homework. I work full time and so > does my husband. > He has been working nights this month so I have been > dropping off > the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I > am running 15 > minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing > my daughter's > supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes > the night > before and make as much of her lunch as I can > (except enzyme mixed > in peanut butter). My son (22 months with > Regulatory Disorder, > Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of > preparing > everything. He needs to be held and slows > everything down. > Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to > school by 8:10. > We are usually late or just in time. I have been > getting more > aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements > into my daughter > and I am getting up over 2 hours before school > starts. I rush to > pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and > do not get home > until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything > and it would not > matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to > eat dinner. > Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as > one kids hits > someone and the other starts screaming and no one > eating. Somehow I > try to give them a bath every few nights and do > homework everynight. > I never spend anytime playing with them, especially > my son. The > kids have no down time and I feel this is part of > why they are both > so difficult. I don't know how to get everything > done. Before all > this homework things were better, but also I was not > doing all these > supplements before. > > I could use some suggestions, > > Jen > > > __________________________________________________________ Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small Business (http://smallbusines <http://smallbusiness.> s.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 I saw him in Lubbock several years ago with Temple Grandin. GREAT presentation and WELL worth the time! Tonya Re: ( ) losing my cool We are off to see Tony Attwood speak in two weeks time on helping kids with HFA and AS deal with emotions and social issues. It should be great. Re: ( ) losing my cool Jen, There really isn't enough time in a day! I feel the same way as you. It's hard to believe how much homework a little kindergartner has, my son could spend about 45 GRUELING minutes on his kindergarten homework last year. It's crazy! I wish I had the answers for you. I think the reality is that many of us are really struggling at home with multiple little ones with special needs. *sigh* Liz Houston Essenfeld <lessensbcglobal (DOT) <mailto:lessen%40sbcglobal.net> net> wrote: a, It must be nice to be able to spend that much time with your kids, but you are also an extremily rare part of the population who can spend 2 hours a night working and be able to make ends meet. a Louise <tpaulalouise@ <mailto:tpaulalouise%40> > wrote: Hi, I know that you're already upset and I don't want to upset you further but reading your post upset me. Your kids have special needs, as do mine, but your kids, their need for suppliments and their need to be held - even if it is more than usual, is not the problem - your schedule is. Kids get pushed and pulled these days and we adults blame them, for somehow sucking at our time, our need to be on time, hell I do it too sometimes but it's us that's in the wrong - we're the adults. I spend every waking moment with my kids from 5 am to 8 pm - troubles or no. I homeschool my kids. At night I work, from 9-11pm. I run a large family corporation. I don't sell trinkets on ebay or do party plan selling - I run a huge corporate entertainment business and even if my eyes are hanging out of my head at 9 oclock - I make it work. I am not saying that you are not a good parent - you, like so many others are just stretching yourself too thin. It's a modern disease. You can suffer from it and feel the pains or you can make some family/soul healing decisions. And don't say well it's fine for you not everyone can do it - cause I didn't always do what I do now, no one handed my ability to stay home and care for my kids to me on a platter - I've taken some hard lumps and fought for it - because in the end - work and modern life is the hassle, children are what really count. a --- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@ <mailto:jennifer_thorson%40> > wrote: > Since school started for my 4 year old I have been > running around > with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed > kindergarden in > the morning and a regular private kindergarden in > the afternoon. I > think she can handle the schedule most of the time > but she is > getting double homework. I work full time and so > does my husband. > He has been working nights this month so I have been > dropping off > the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I > am running 15 > minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing > my daughter's > supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes > the night > before and make as much of her lunch as I can > (except enzyme mixed > in peanut butter). My son (22 months with > Regulatory Disorder, > Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of > preparing > everything. He needs to be held and slows > everything down. > Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to > school by 8:10. > We are usually late or just in time. I have been > getting more > aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements > into my daughter > and I am getting up over 2 hours before school > starts. I rush to > pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and > do not get home > until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything > and it would not > matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to > eat dinner. > Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as > one kids hits > someone and the other starts screaming and no one > eating. Somehow I > try to give them a bath every few nights and do > homework everynight. > I never spend anytime playing with them, especially > my son. The > kids have no down time and I feel this is part of > why they are both > so difficult. I don't know how to get everything > done. Before all > this homework things were better, but also I was not > doing all these > supplements before. > > I could use some suggestions, > > Jen > > > __________________________________________________________ Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small Business (http://smallbusines <http://smallbusines <http://smallbusiness.> s.> s.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 How awesome!!! - C. Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Re: ( ) losing my cool Jen, There really isn't enough time in a day! I feel the same way as you. It's hard to believe how much homework a little kindergartner has, my son could spend about 45 GRUELING minutes on his kindergarten homework last year. It's crazy! I wish I had the answers for you. I think the reality is that many of us are really struggling at home with multiple little ones with special needs. *sigh* Liz Houston Essenfeld <lessensbcglobal (DOT) <mailto:lessen%40sbcglobal.net> net> wrote: a, It must be nice to be able to spend that much time with your kids, but you are also an extremily rare part of the population who can spend 2 hours a night working and be able to make ends meet. a Louise <tpaulalouise@ <mailto:tpaulalouise%40> > wrote: Hi, I know that you're already upset and I don't want to upset you further but reading your post upset me. Your kids have special needs, as do mine, but your kids, their need for suppliments and their need to be held - even if it is more than usual, is not the problem - your schedule is. Kids get pushed and pulled these days and we adults blame them, for somehow sucking at our time, our need to be on time, hell I do it too sometimes but it's us that's in the wrong - we're the adults. I spend every waking moment with my kids from 5 am to 8 pm - troubles or no. I homeschool my kids. At night I work, from 9-11pm. I run a large family corporation. I don't sell trinkets on ebay or do party plan selling - I run a huge corporate entertainment business and even if my eyes are hanging out of my head at 9 oclock - I make it work. I am not saying that you are not a good parent - you, like so many others are just stretching yourself too thin. It's a modern disease. You can suffer from it and feel the pains or you can make some family/soul healing decisions. And don't say well it's fine for you not everyone can do it - cause I didn't always do what I do now, no one handed my ability to stay home and care for my kids to me on a platter - I've taken some hard lumps and fought for it - because in the end - work and modern life is the hassle, children are what really count. a --- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@ <mailto:jennifer_thorson%40> > wrote: > Since school started for my 4 year old I have been > running around > with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed > kindergarden in > the morning and a regular private kindergarden in > the afternoon. I > think she can handle the schedule most of the time > but she is > getting double homework. I work full time and so > does my husband. > He has been working nights this month so I have been > dropping off > the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I > am running 15 > minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing > my daughter's > supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes > the night > before and make as much of her lunch as I can > (except enzyme mixed > in peanut butter). My son (22 months with > Regulatory Disorder, > Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of > preparing > everything. He needs to be held and slows > everything down. > Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to > school by 8:10. > We are usually late or just in time. I have been > getting more > aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements > into my daughter > and I am getting up over 2 hours before school > starts. I rush to > pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and > do not get home > until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything > and it would not > matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to > eat dinner. > Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as > one kids hits > someone and the other starts screaming and no one > eating. Somehow I > try to give them a bath every few nights and do > homework everynight. > I never spend anytime playing with them, especially > my son. The > kids have no down time and I feel this is part of > why they are both > so difficult. I don't know how to get everything > done. Before all > this homework things were better, but also I was not > doing all these > supplements before. > > I could use some suggestions, > > Jen > > > __________________________________________________________ Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small Business (http://smallbusines <http://smallbusiness.> s.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 That's great! I went to a Tony Attwood conference a while back. He's very good. Funny, smart and it's very easy to sit through hours of him speaking! Mark son <thejacobsons@...> wrote: We are off to see Tony Attwood speak in two weeks time on helping kids with HFA and AS deal with emotions and social issues. It should be great. Re: ( ) losing my cool Jen, There really isn't enough time in a day! I feel the same way as you. It's hard to believe how much homework a little kindergartner has, my son could spend about 45 GRUELING minutes on his kindergarten homework last year. It's crazy! I wish I had the answers for you. I think the reality is that many of us are really struggling at home with multiple little ones with special needs. *sigh* Liz Houston Essenfeld <lessensbcglobal (DOT) <mailto:lessen%40sbcglobal.net> net> wrote: a, It must be nice to be able to spend that much time with your kids, but you are also an extremily rare part of the population who can spend 2 hours a night working and be able to make ends meet. a Louise <tpaulalouise@ <mailto:tpaulalouise%40> > wrote: Hi, I know that you're already upset and I don't want to upset you further but reading your post upset me. Your kids have special needs, as do mine, but your kids, their need for suppliments and their need to be held - even if it is more than usual, is not the problem - your schedule is. Kids get pushed and pulled these days and we adults blame them, for somehow sucking at our time, our need to be on time, hell I do it too sometimes but it's us that's in the wrong - we're the adults. I spend every waking moment with my kids from 5 am to 8 pm - troubles or no. I homeschool my kids. At night I work, from 9-11pm. I run a large family corporation. I don't sell trinkets on ebay or do party plan selling - I run a huge corporate entertainment business and even if my eyes are hanging out of my head at 9 oclock - I make it work. I am not saying that you are not a good parent - you, like so many others are just stretching yourself too thin. It's a modern disease. You can suffer from it and feel the pains or you can make some family/soul healing decisions. And don't say well it's fine for you not everyone can do it - cause I didn't always do what I do now, no one handed my ability to stay home and care for my kids to me on a platter - I've taken some hard lumps and fought for it - because in the end - work and modern life is the hassle, children are what really count. a --- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@ <mailto:jennifer_thorson%40> > wrote: > Since school started for my 4 year old I have been > running around > with my head cut off. She is attending a special ed > kindergarden in > the morning and a regular private kindergarden in > the afternoon. I > think she can handle the schedule most of the time > but she is > getting double homework. I work full time and so > does my husband. > He has been working nights this month so I have been > dropping off > the kids and picking them up. I always feel like I > am running 15 > minutes behind. I wake up at 6 am to start mixing > my daughter's > supplements and finish her lunch. I wash the dishes > the night > before and make as much of her lunch as I can > (except enzyme mixed > in peanut butter). My son (22 months with > Regulatory Disorder, > Impulsive Type) wakes up when I am at the end of > preparing > everything. He needs to be held and slows > everything down. > Basically I rush everything to get my daughter to > school by 8:10. > We are usually late or just in time. I have been > getting more > aggitated as it seems harder to get the supplements > into my daughter > and I am getting up over 2 hours before school > starts. I rush to > pick up my daughter by 5:30 and then get my son and > do not get home > until 6:15. I have not been able to cook anything > and it would not > matter anyways because my daughter has not wanted to > eat dinner. > Dinner time is a nightmare of me raising my voice as > one kids hits > someone and the other starts screaming and no one > eating. Somehow I > try to give them a bath every few nights and do > homework everynight. > I never spend anytime playing with them, especially > my son. The > kids have no down time and I feel this is part of > why they are both > so difficult. I don't know how to get everything > done. Before all > this homework things were better, but also I was not > doing all these > supplements before. > > I could use some suggestions, > > Jen > > > __________________________________________________________ Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small Business (http://smallbusines <http://smallbusiness.> s.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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