teasing at school

[Guest guest]

>

> Okay, everyone with kids who get teased will probably throw a brick

> at the screen when they read this, but have any of you tried to reach

> out to the ring-leader kids who tease?

My parents tried that. It lead to there being more feul for it later,

cuz Im weird at HOME too.

Kassiane

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[Guest guest]

That is a great idea Debi. Only thing is 3 /4 of the school is

teasing . The teacher and the child study team refuses to say

anything is wrong with except her behavior and now act weird when I

show up at school because said the word rape! I am now under

investigation but assure you I dont do anything and my husband is never home

He likes going away and not dealing with stress. Charlene

-- teasing at school

Okay, everyone with kids who get teased will probably throw a brick

at the screen when they read this, but have any of you tried to reach

out to the ring-leader kids who tease? I heard of a parent whose

child was being constantly teased who invited the mean children and

their parents to their home for dinner. The mother explained to the

kids and the parents exactly what the disability was, the problems

the disability created, and offered to answer any questions. It

worked! I think probably the reason is because the mean kids then saw

the disabled child as a real person, not just an object. They also

had their parents with them, who probably make fun of people, too.

Those parents had to take a look at the bad behavior. It created

guilt and caused the teasing to all but stop. Also, it's hard to be

mean to someone who is being kind to you.

No, I haven't had to deal with teasing yet, but I hope when it comes

up I can attempt to make this kind of positive step. If it doesn't

work, then I'll put flaming dog poo on their porch, lol!

Debi

[Guest guest]

I neglected to include you in in list of spectrum people I want to

Thank for being here and sharing, helping the parents with these

Angels understand from their prospective!

You, Sondra, Donelle and Lorna have accomplished GREAT things by

being here! Stay here please don't ever fly away!

Thank you all again sooooooooooooo Much!

, ie's Mom (ie is my nine year old daughter and my

Angel)

Founder - Hampshire County Parents Support Group

Capon Bridge, WV

[Guest guest]

Lorna it to sound like neurological impulses as reactions to emotions that

surge through you. I to be to have them and they might be different than

stimming . Tics often are uncontrolled movements that come without always a

warning. I to have some of these in facial movements and or sudden shoulder

shrugging. My stims are visually scanning an environment for patterns and

symmetrical objects. I to have numerous stims, tics, and neurological

impulses. All from different sources and for different reasons, some

controlled some not.

Sondra

[Guest guest]

, I cant be to fly. I to tried much as a child to be to learn to fly

but never could be to get my body to learn it. So cant be to fly away. Only

angels and super heroes can be to fly.

Sondra

[Guest guest]

Just so you know the school is mandated by the federal government to provide

your child with a harrassment free/bullying free enviornment. Failure to do

so can be constituted as lack of FAPE and therefore the school would be out

of compliance. I would suggest that you hold an IEP meeting and bring forth

the issues that your son has relayed. I have a attached a letter from the

OSEP that explains specificially to the state department of educations that all

schools must be bully/harrassment free zones. If the school does nothing a

bout his harrassment then provide this letter to the special education

director. This should do the trick.

Connie Ajay

PS: If the letter does not go thru as an attachment then email me privately

and I can send it to you.

[Guest guest]

My son was pretty bummed after school. I got out of him that some kids taped

notes to his back that said " Kick me " , " I'm a nerd " , " Punch me " , ect. He said

that some kids did what it said but he wouldn't tell me who. I asked him if he

told anyone and he said no, he didn't want to be a tattle tale. He said that

kids call him names and when I asked him what he does he said he calls them

idiots. I told him to please not do that because that's not going to help. Last

night he REALLY did not want to go back to school and begged me to let him stay

home. I asked him if it was because kids pick on him and he said yes. I'm able

to cheer him up by the time he gets to school and it's not like he's depressed

or crying over it but it he keeps saying every night before bed that he doesn't

want to go to bed because he'll have to go to school when he wakes up and then

in the morning he gets ready ok but he says through every step of getting ready,

" Do I really have to go? " or " Can I please

stay home? " We were talking about teasing at breakfast with my parents this

weekend and I've always thought that if you ignore the kids, they'd stop picking

on you but I've also never been in the situation myself so I don't really know.

My step-mom on the other hand was always picked on and she said she'd say things

to embarrass them if they were picking on her and that would stop them. I see

the good and bad points of both arguments so I really am lost in this situation.

I don't want him taking my step-mom's advise though because I wonder if he just

thinks they're picking on him or if they really are. I don't think he can always

differentiate a kid that's joking vs. picking on him. I emailed his teacher just

so she can maybe look out for that kind of stuff. She and the school are aware

of AS and are really good about it but I know that at school my son will act

fine and pretend like all is well on the outside when he's hurting on the inside

so I don't think they would

pick up on something being wrong. He doesn't show it but he'll talk about it

with me.

[Guest guest]

Hi

I was picked on throughout school because as a child I had epileptic seizures.

Mostly I had uncontrolable eye movement. It was especially bad when I was upset

or something. Kids would tease me to get me upset and then say things like , " oh

come on do that wierd eye thing you do " . Some called me names like " wierd " . Keep

in mind this was at a supposedly loving provate school back in the 70s & 80s. I

don't remember specifics much about the name calling but I remember the pain. I

am still sensitive about my eyes even though I have not a seizure in nearly 2

decades.

Something needs to be done to try to correct the situation. I agree that your

son should not physically get back these kids nor should he stoop to their

level. But ignoring it and asking him to simply tune it out or walk off will not

solve the problem either.

At the very least the principal needs to step-in. If your son does not want to

name names then perhaps a sensitivity assembly should be called. No one at the

assembly needs to know specifically who or what incident it is about. Just

approach it from a standpoint of teaching kids to be more accepting, sensitive

towards others and better global citizens. I know it sounds corny but I have

seen it work in the past with other things if the school is dedicated enough.

I hope you find a way to resolve this so your son can continue learning and

maybe grow to like school again.

M.

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

My son was pretty bummed after school. I got out of him that some kids

taped notes to his back that said " Kick me " , " I'm a nerd " , " Punch me " , ect. He

said that some kids did what it said but he wouldn't tell me who. I asked him if

he told anyone and he said no, he didn't want to be a tattle tale. He said that

kids call him names and when I asked him what he does he said he calls them

idiots. I told him to please not do that because that's not going to help. Last

night he REALLY did not want to go back to school and begged me to let him stay

home. I asked him if it was because kids pick on him and he said yes. I'm able

to cheer him up by the time he gets to school and it's not like he's depressed

or crying over it but it he keeps saying every night before bed that he doesn't

want to go to bed because he'll have to go to school when he wakes up and then

in the morning he gets ready ok but he says through every step of getting ready,

" Do I really have to go? " or " Can

I please

stay home? " We were talking about teasing at breakfast with my parents this

weekend and I've always thought that if you ignore the kids, they'd stop picking

on you but I've also never been in the situation myself so I don't really know.

My step-mom on the other hand was always picked on and she said she'd say things

to embarrass them if they were picking on her and that would stop them. I see

the good and bad points of both arguments so I really am lost in this situation.

I don't want him taking my step-mom's advise though because I wonder if he just

thinks they're picking on him or if they really are. I don't think he can always

differentiate a kid that's joking vs. picking on him. I emailed his teacher just

so she can maybe look out for that kind of stuff. She and the school are aware

of AS and are really good about it but I know that at school my son will act

fine and pretend like all is well on the outside when he's hurting on the inside

so I don't think they would

pick up on something being wrong. He doesn't show it but he'll talk about it

with me.

[Guest guest]

This is a horrible situation for both parent and child..

I handled it by taking my son to Tae Kwon Do... He built up his self esteem

and it helped quite a bit..

He held his head up.. And didn't appear to have the victim attitude.. If you

know what I mean.

I also roll play with him..

And we practice smart responses to nasty things kids can say. Until it

becomes second nature... also some good hearted play fighting with dad was

quite helpful too. Although fighting is never a response.. it sure is a

defense and helped my son feel not so scared.

Also approaching the teacher is imperative.. And letting them know that it

will not be tolerated by you .. And that should it get physical again.. That

you will not hesitate to hold both school, student and the students parents

criminally responsible for not protecting your child.

Please let us know how things go Hon.. And remind your son that you are

always there to listen to him.. And keep him talking.

I am so glad he was able to talk to you about it.

How old is he again?

-- ( ) teasing at school

My son was pretty bummed after school. I got out of him that some kids taped

notes to his back that said " Kick me " , " I'm a nerd " , " Punch me " , ect. He

said that some kids did what it said but he wouldn't tell me who. I asked

him if he told anyone and he said no, he didn't want to be a tattle tale. He

said that kids call him names and when I asked him what he does he said he

calls them idiots. I told him to please not do that because that's not going

to help. Last night he REALLY did not want to go back to sc

hool and begged me to let him stay home. I asked him if it was because kids

pick on him and he said yes. I'm able to cheer him up by the time he gets to

school and it's not like he's depressed or crying over it but it he keeps

saying every night before bed that he doesn't want to go to bed because he

ll have to go to school when he wakes up and then in the morning he gets

ready ok but he says through every step of getting ready, " Do I really have

to go? " or " Can I please

stay home? " We were talking about teasing at breakfast with my parents

this weekend and I've always thought that if you ignore the kids, they'd

stop picking on you but I've also never been in the situation myself so I

don't really know. My step-mom on the other hand was always picked on and

she said she'd say things to embarrass them if they were picking on her and

that would stop them. I see the good and bad points of both arguments so I

really am lost in this situation. I don't want him taking my step-mo

m's advise though because I wonder if he just thinks they're picking on him

or if they really are. I don't think he can always differentiate a kid that

s joking vs. picking on him. I emailed his teacher just so she can maybe

look out for that kind of stuff. She and the school are aware of AS and are

really good about it but I know that at school my son will act fine and

pretend like all is well on the outside when he's hurting on the inside so I

don't think they would

pick up on something being wrong. He doesn't show it but he'll talk about

it with me.

[Guest guest]

He's 9 and in the 4th grade. He was in karate for 4 years and recently stopped

wanting to go. He felt he was too busy (he just now finished soccer and attends

a friendship club once a week). I've tried offering things like Tae Kwon Do or

Ju Jitsu now that soccer's over but he's not interested. So we'll see how things

go. I did email the teacher and she said she'll keep an eye out for it and said

she could help him write something for the " agenda box " so that it's not

pointing any fingers and that way teasing will get discussed in class without

tattle taling. The agenda box is where the kids write things in it and then on

Friday's they sit in a circle and everyone gives their imput as to ideas on how

to handle situations. I tried to get him to do that but he said no way. So we'll

see if the teacher can help with that. His next IEP meeting isn't until March

but if I need to move it sooner, I will.

<cmcintosh5@...> wrote: This is a horrible situation for

both parent and child..

I handled it by taking my son to Tae Kwon Do... He built up his self esteem

and it helped quite a bit..

He held his head up.. And didn't appear to have the victim attitude.. If you

know what I mean.

I also roll play with him..

And we practice smart responses to nasty things kids can say. Until it

becomes second nature... also some good hearted play fighting with dad was

quite helpful too. Although fighting is never a response.. it sure is a

defense and helped my son feel not so scared.

Also approaching the teacher is imperative.. And letting them know that it

will not be tolerated by you .. And that should it get physical again.. That

you will not hesitate to hold both school, student and the students parents

criminally responsible for not protecting your child.

Please let us know how things go Hon.. And remind your son that you are

always there to listen to him.. And keep him talking.

I am so glad he was able to talk to you about it.

How old is he again?

-- ( ) teasing at school

My son was pretty bummed after school. I got out of him that some kids taped

notes to his back that said " Kick me " , " I'm a nerd " , " Punch me " , ect. He

said that some kids did what it said but he wouldn't tell me who. I asked

him if he told anyone and he said no, he didn't want to be a tattle tale. He

said that kids call him names and when I asked him what he does he said he

calls them idiots. I told him to please not do that because that's not going

to help. Last night he REALLY did not want to go back to sc

hool and begged me to let him stay home. I asked him if it was because kids

pick on him and he said yes. I'm able to cheer him up by the time he gets to

school and it's not like he's depressed or crying over it but it he keeps

saying every night before bed that he doesn't want to go to bed because he

ll have to go to school when he wakes up and then in the morning he gets

ready ok but he says through every step of getting ready, " Do I really have

to go? " or " Can I please

stay home? " We were talking about teasing at breakfast with my parents

this weekend and I've always thought that if you ignore the kids, they'd

stop picking on you but I've also never been in the situation myself so I

don't really know. My step-mom on the other hand was always picked on and

she said she'd say things to embarrass them if they were picking on her and

that would stop them. I see the good and bad points of both arguments so I

really am lost in this situation. I don't want him taking my step-mo

m's advise though because I wonder if he just thinks they're picking on him

or if they really are. I don't think he can always differentiate a kid that

s joking vs. picking on him. I emailed his teacher just so she can maybe

look out for that kind of stuff. She and the school are aware of AS and are

really good about it but I know that at school my son will act fine and

pretend like all is well on the outside when he's hurting on the inside so I

don't think they would

pick up on something being wrong. He doesn't show it but he'll talk about

it with me.

[Guest guest]

I think the teacher should pay more attention to the teasing going on and

address it herself, not wait for the child to be forced to tell. Plus, she

knows it is going on already because you told her - so she could start by having

discussions during Friday circle time about people with disabilities, what that

means, how you treat them, etc. There may be people in your community that do

those sorts of talks with kids. I know we have someone who goes to schools and

discusses disabilities.

Another idea is to have the teacher appoint another student or two to be buddies

with your ds. There are often kids who are great students and seem to have it

all together who can look out for your ds and run interference with the kids who

are teasing as well. I know my own ds, 10 yo, 5th grade, has one kid as his

" buddy " in his class.

Another thing I found is that when I complain to the principal about another kid

being a bully (and I always do let them know when another kid is doing this!)

it is usually a kid the principal knows well already.

Roxanna

( ) teasing at school

My son was pretty bummed after school. I got out of him that some kids taped

notes to his back that said " Kick me " , " I'm a nerd " , " Punch me " , ect. He

said that some kids did what it said but he wouldn't tell me who. I asked

him if he told anyone and he said no, he didn't want to be a tattle tale. He

said that kids call him names and when I asked him what he does he said he

calls them idiots. I told him to please not do that because that's not going

to help. Last night he REALLY did not want to go back to sc

hool and begged me to let him stay home. I asked him if it was because kids

pick on him and he said yes. I'm able to cheer him up by the time he gets to

school and it's not like he's depressed or crying over it but it he keeps

saying every night before bed that he doesn't want to go to bed because he

ll have to go to school when he wakes up and then in the morning he gets

ready ok but he says through every step of getting ready, " Do I really have

to go? " or " Can I please

stay home? " We were talking about teasing at breakfast with my parents

this weekend and I've always thought that if you ignore the kids, they'd

stop picking on you but I've also never been in the situation myself so I

don't really know. My step-mom on the other hand was always picked on and

she said she'd say things to embarrass them if they were picking on her and

that would stop them. I see the good and bad points of both arguments so I

really am lost in this situation. I don't want him taking my step-mo

m's advise though because I wonder if he just thinks they're picking on him

or if they really are. I don't think he can always differentiate a kid that

s joking vs. picking on him. I emailed his teacher just so she can maybe

look out for that kind of stuff. She and the school are aware of AS and are

really good about it but I know that at school my son will act fine and

pretend like all is well on the outside when he's hurting on the inside so I

don't think they would

pick up on something being wrong. He doesn't show it but he'll talk about

it with me.

[Guest guest]

His school district just sent out a survey addressing how the special education

department is doing. In the comments section I addressed bullying and how it may

be a good idea to have an assembly about it. Hopefully they will. I also emailed

his resource center teacher because last week my son said that a kid kicked him

and so he kicked him back and then that kid told the teacher, and my son got in

trouble. He also told me that someone put glue on his chair and the teacher

blamed him. I haven't heard about any of this from the teacher so his resource

center teacher said she'd look into it.

Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: I think the teacher should

pay more attention to the teasing going on and address it herself, not wait for

the child to be forced to tell. Plus, she knows it is going on already because

you told her - so she could start by having discussions during Friday circle

time about people with disabilities, what that means, how you treat them, etc.

There may be people in your community that do those sorts of talks with kids. I

know we have someone who goes to schools and discusses disabilities.

Another idea is to have the teacher appoint another student or two to be buddies

with your ds. There are often kids who are great students and seem to have it

all together who can look out for your ds and run interference with the kids who

are teasing as well. I know my own ds, 10 yo, 5th grade, has one kid as his

" buddy " in his class.

Another thing I found is that when I complain to the principal about another kid

being a bully (and I always do let them know when another kid is doing this!) it

is usually a kid the principal knows well already.

Roxanna

( ) teasing at school

My son was pretty bummed after school. I got out of him that some kids taped

notes to his back that said " Kick me " , " I'm a nerd " , " Punch me " , ect. He

said that some kids did what it said but he wouldn't tell me who. I asked

him if he told anyone and he said no, he didn't want to be a tattle tale. He

said that kids call him names and when I asked him what he does he said he

calls them idiots. I told him to please not do that because that's not going

to help. Last night he REALLY did not want to go back to sc

hool and begged me to let him stay home. I asked him if it was because kids

pick on him and he said yes. I'm able to cheer him up by the time he gets to

school and it's not like he's depressed or crying over it but it he keeps

saying every night before bed that he doesn't want to go to bed because he

ll have to go to school when he wakes up and then in the morning he gets

ready ok but he says through every step of getting ready, " Do I really have

to go? " or " Can I please

stay home? " We were talking about teasing at breakfast with my parents

this weekend and I've always thought that if you ignore the kids, they'd

stop picking on you but I've also never been in the situation myself so I

don't really know. My step-mom on the other hand was always picked on and

she said she'd say things to embarrass them if they were picking on her and

that would stop them. I see the good and bad points of both arguments so I

really am lost in this situation. I don't want him taking my step-mo

m's advise though because I wonder if he just thinks they're picking on him

or if they really are. I don't think he can always differentiate a kid that

s joking vs. picking on him. I emailed his teacher just so she can maybe

look out for that kind of stuff. She and the school are aware of AS and are

really good about it but I know that at school my son will act fine and

pretend like all is well on the outside when he's hurting on the inside so I

don't think they would

pick up on something being wrong. He doesn't show it but he'll talk about

it with me.