IEP goal for frustration...

[Guest guest]

Hi, my son is 8 and when he gets frustrated cries, screams, throws

things, runs away, quits, destroys things. His school IEP team is

just thrilled that he no longer hits, or when he throws things, no

longer does so in the direction of humans.

Nobody there can tell me how we are supposed to help Ethan stop

expressing his frustration in these destructive ways. We cannot seem

to make Ethan understand that he is alienating his peers. Ethan has

gone to cognitive behavioral therapy - 17 sessions - but he still acts

like he is two when he is frustrated over either a punishment (like

not getting a stamp at school) or when he loses at any kind of game.

Does anybody have any advice on how to write a goal that will force

the school to help Ethan during gym class and recess (majority of

these behaviors occur during unstructured times)? I want them to

intervene versus just saying how happy he is that he isn't hurting

anybody anymore.

THANKS!

[Guest guest]

Your son is my son's twin. LOL

We just went through this. Actually, we are still going through this.

6 hours of IEP meetings so far this year, and yet more to go.

This is a good article about recess

if the school is not aware of the problems. (It's the first one in

this newsletter);

http://aane.autistics.org/articles/news_11.html

If everyone aware of specific triggers? Does he need more

structure, advance warning?

Do you have target replacement behaviors identified at all?

Does he have somewhere to go when he's feeling overwhelmed?

Does he have regular breaks if overload tends to be a problem?

My son has a Cool Zone to go to, which is a very small room

(aka storage area) with a mini-tramp, fish books (his obsession), a

ball.

He can go there if he's amping in. But he also goes there three

times a day

just to keep grounded. (So he doesn't have to stand in line after

lunch.)

For my son, we are finding the response to him makes all the difference.

Acknowledging his feelings is a good thing. Yelling at him, not so

good.

He hangs out with a teacher or aide at recess. That is new this year.

Sometimes he just talks and walks the school's companion dog. Other

times,

they take out something sedate like sidewalk chalk. He drew a lifesize

shark the other week. LOL He is a partial participant at PE. If he

wants to play, he does. If not,

he can cheer or be scorekeeper, or whatever. The kids appreciate it

when

he doesn't push them.

Getting everyone in tune with the triggers is a big thing. Having an

escape

is another biggie.

He has the book " When My Autism Gets Too Big " , so some of his self-

calming

tricks are rubbing his legs, taking deep breathes, or pushing his

hands together.

It's really going to be up to adults to help monitor him, and to make

some

environmental changes in his programs to prevent unnecessary

frustration.

(Such as, they are not supposed to give my son trick questions on

anything.

They can say " this is unsolvable, why? " )

Some of our official goals (in brief):

participate in social cartooning

verbalize frustration and ask an adult for help

ask for help from an adult in a civil tone

learn 3 new self-calming skills.

But there is a MAJOR behavior plan to back all this up.

We are still working on identifying the new behaviors, but my wording

suggestions are:

use self-calming, legal movement or Cool Zone before frustration

levels become strong enough to exhibit disruptive behaviors

the wording we have to work on: monitor his expression in class and

express frustration in a more socially appropriate manner.

Do you know the progression of his meltdowns? That was a big thing that

we identified from all the information we had about last year. Sigh.

Does he more discreet signs before the biggies hit? Does he bite

his lip, tuck his head into his shirt, anything like that that could

be monitored by an adult?

Jackie, who just counted and the IEP is 39 pages long!! And there is

just speech and social skills.

On Oct 13, 2006, at 12:25 PM, LJL wrote:

> Hi, my son is 8 and when he gets frustrated cries, screams, throws

> things, runs away, quits, destroys things. His school IEP team is

> just thrilled that he no longer hits, or when he throws things, no

> longer does so in the direction of humans.

>

> Nobody there can tell me how we are supposed to help Ethan stop

> expressing his frustration in these destructive ways. We cannot seem

> to make Ethan understand that he is alienating his peers. Ethan has

> gone to cognitive behavioral therapy - 17 sessions - but he still acts

> like he is two when he is frustrated over either a punishment (like

> not getting a stamp at school) or when he loses at any kind of game.

>

> Does anybody have any advice on how to write a goal that will force

> the school to help Ethan during gym class and recess (majority of

> these behaviors occur during unstructured times)? I want them to

> intervene versus just saying how happy he is that he isn't hurting

> anybody anymore.

>

> THANKS!

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Have the done a FBA (Functional Behavior Assessment)? I would request one

right away if they haven't already. Pam

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Is there any way I can see your IEP to help us out?

> If everyone aware of specific triggers? Does he need more

> structure, advance warning?

Yes. He does not like to lose at games or not get his turn because

recess is over. He does not like to lose his sticker.

> Do you have target replacement behaviors identified at all?

No. They are simply happy that unlike last year he is not hitting

people.

> Does he have somewhere to go when he's feeling overwhelmed?

Yes.

> Does he have regular breaks if overload tends to be a problem?

Yes.

> the wording we have to work on: monitor his expression in class

and

> express frustration in a more socially appropriate manner.

Is this written in the IEP?

> Do you know the progression of his meltdowns?

We see what I call increasing behaviors at least half the time. He

starts to make noises in his throat, his fists clench up, etc. He

went through 17 sessions of cognitive behavioral therapy and we

could not get him to notice himself during the moment to calm

himself down. We do see that once he is 'done' he is able to take

himself away, get a drink of water, and rejoin. But, he can't seem

to stop himself from reaching the breaking point to begin with.

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

>

> Have the done a FBA (Functional Behavior Assessment)? I would

request one

> right away if they haven't already. Pam

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I would definitely request the FBA in writing and out of the FBA needs to

come a specific POSITIVE behavior plan that everyone working with your child

uses consistently. Pam

[Guest guest]

On Oct 17, 2006, at 10:42 PM, LJL wrote:

> Hi,

>

> Is there any way I can see your IEP to help us out?

>

>> If everyone aware of specific triggers? Does he need more

>> structure, advance warning?

>

> Yes. He does not like to lose at games or not get his turn because

> recess is over. He does not like to lose his sticker.

Put him first or second or third in line. We deal with winning/losing

all the time. He ducks out of those games, which is fine by me.

His teacher last year would play kickball with the kids at recess, which

was quite nice. ph never wanted to kick, so he was all-time

outfielder.

The fact that he was actually playing a group game was progress.

>

>

>> Do you have target replacement behaviors identified at all?

>

> No. They are simply happy that unlike last year he is not hitting

> people.

Herein lies the problem, at least in part. Like Pam said, there

needs to be

a replacement. AND, there should be some effort to eliminate some

of the triggers while he learns how to deal with them little by little.

>

>> the wording we have to work on: monitor his expression in class

> and

>> express frustration in a more socially appropriate manner.

> Is this written in the IEP?

So far, but I don't like the vagueness, so I have asked for another

meeting.

I like details so I know we are all headed towards the same goals.

>

>> Do you know the progression of his meltdowns?

> We see what I call increasing behaviors at least half the time. He

> starts to make noises in his throat, his fists clench up, etc. He

> went through 17 sessions of cognitive behavioral therapy and we

> could not get him to notice himself during the moment to calm

> himself down. We do see that once he is 'done' he is able to take

> himself away, get a drink of water, and rejoin. But, he can't seem

> to stop himself from reaching the breaking point to begin with.

This is where the adults come in. Even with those half of the times,

they need to attempt to redirect before he hits the boiling point.

Ya, I know, easier said than done. And praise him when he

does recognize it, and takes whatever steps is necessary to

bring himself down, or leave, or whatever it is he does.

My son had his first day with his new behavior sheet yesterday.

(The one he had was from last year, and we have different issues

this year.) He raised his hand and waited to be called on 7 times!!!

Today we have a field trip. Yep, I go on them all. Then it's Fall

Break.

Jackie

[Guest guest]

>

> Herein lies the problem, at least in part. Like Pam said, there

> needs to be

> a replacement. AND, there should be some effort to eliminate some

> of the triggers while he learns how to deal with them little by

little.

His guidance counselor wants his replacement to be an arm shake, a

finger snap, and an expression, 'Oh, darn, maybe next time.' Is

this what you mean?

> This is where the adults come in. Even with those half of the

times,

> they need to attempt to redirect before he hits the boiling point.

> Ya, I know, easier said than done. And praise him when he

> does recognize it, and takes whatever steps is necessary to

> bring himself down, or leave, or whatever it is he does.

Thank you.

[Guest guest]

On Oct 19, 2006, at 9:50 PM, LJL wrote:

>

>

>

>>

>> Herein lies the problem, at least in part. Like Pam said, there

>> needs to be

>> a replacement. AND, there should be some effort to eliminate some

>> of the triggers while he learns how to deal with them little by

> little.

>

>

> His guidance counselor wants his replacement to be an arm shake, a

> finger snap, and an expression, 'Oh, darn, maybe next time.' Is

> this what you mean?

If he's amped up, with a lot of energy, he may need an outlet as a

beginning

step. I think I mentioned that in a previous post. Something like

stomping

his feet, jumping up and down, running a lap. Frustration builds

energy that

needs to be released somehow.

" Oh darn, maybe next time " is a hefty goal, but not an unreasonable

long term one. I know

some adults that can't manage that kind of control, though. My

son just

can't do competition at this point. Just an utter meltdown waiting

to happen.

So it's okay not to participate. He doesn't like to be watched while

working,

or to have things repeated. (He takes it as criticism.) His

endearing comment

at the beginning of the year was " Leave me alone " , not in a pleasant

tone.

We are working on him saying " ok, I understand " instead. If he doesn't

say it and goes with " leave me alone " , the teacher is supposed to

prompt him to say

the better phrase.

I think he said " leave me alone " last year, and similar, but it

wasn't reported to me

as such. It was just called yelling, and not sure it was recognized

as overload/meltdown.

Jackie

[Guest guest]

You need to get a functional behavior assessment done. This, if done properly,

will identify problems as well as how he looks when he is having problems,

triggers, as well as suggestions on how to manage and handle things. My ten

year old still has some tantrums that look more like they belong to a two year

old. I think there are just times that we have to be the adults, notice the

rising stress levels and incorporate calming techniques or removal from the

situation to calm down with another activity. And all the while, you are

teaching him how to calm down by showing him. It is not something I think you

can " teach in 17 sessions " really. I have felt that it is more like something

you work on in chunks. lol. Lots of practice. Lots of coaching. Lots of

assisting. Lots of patience. And lots of direction.

But I do agree, patting themselves on the back because he is not hurting anyone

else doesn't really solve the problem, does it! At any time, he could start and

then what??? And he may be little now, but he's gonna grow bigger. When he's

15 years old is not the time to start thinking about teaching him to cope

better. So keep after them!

Roxanna

Re: ( ) IEP goal for frustration...

Hi,

Is there any way I can see your IEP to help us out?

> If everyone aware of specific triggers? Does he need more

> structure, advance warning?

Yes. He does not like to lose at games or not get his turn because

recess is over. He does not like to lose his sticker.

> Do you have target replacement behaviors identified at all?

No. They are simply happy that unlike last year he is not hitting

people.

> Does he have somewhere to go when he's feeling overwhelmed?

Yes.

> Does he have regular breaks if overload tends to be a problem?

Yes.

> the wording we have to work on: monitor his expression in class

and

> express frustration in a more socially appropriate manner.

Is this written in the IEP?

> Do you know the progression of his meltdowns?

We see what I call increasing behaviors at least half the time. He

starts to make noises in his throat, his fists clench up, etc. He

went through 17 sessions of cognitive behavioral therapy and we

could not get him to notice himself during the moment to calm

himself down. We do see that once he is 'done' he is able to take

himself away, get a drink of water, and rejoin. But, he can't seem

to stop himself from reaching the breaking point to begin with.

Thanks,

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[Guest guest]

Wow, Jackie! Sounds like his first day was a good one!

Roxanna

Re: ( ) IEP goal for frustration...

My son had his first day with his new behavior sheet yesterday.

(The one he had was from last year, and we have different issues

this year.) He raised his hand and waited to be called on 7 times!!!

Today we have a field trip. Yep, I go on them all. Then it's Fall

Break.

Jackie

.

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Checked by AVG Free Edition.

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[Guest guest]

We had a good FBA done in middle school for one of our ds's. What I found most

interesting was that they uncovered a variety of problems he was having that I

would have NEVER known about otherwise. After all, he never came home and said,

" Mom, ya know when they turn that over head projector on, the light is bright, I

can't see the words and I can't hear the teacher talking and I give up and just

sleep. " And because he wasn't " bothering " anyone else, nobody ever considered

that a problem. Or " Mom, our entire current events class consists of watching a

tv news program while we read the newspaper and I can't do both at the same

time, so I end up flunking. I got tired of failing so I just fell asleep

instead. " Things like that I found interesting.

And we requested an FBA because the school people already " knew " why my ds was

having behaviors (he was a brat! Autistic, but a brat who was refusing to do

his work! lol) So sometimes they think they know why but they don't. If it's

a good guess in your opinion, I would probably not worry about it and see if the

plan is working. If it's something you aren't sure about, ask for more

documentation. Or go view the situation yourself.

Roxanna

Re: ( ) IEP goal for frustration...

>

> Have the done a FBA (Functional Behavior Assessment)? I would

request one

> right away if they haven't already. Pam

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well, that replacement is only going to work if it actually fulfills the child's

need. It's like if you are starving to death and someone is eating a plate of

spaghetti. You grab at the food. " That's naughty! " you get told and they send

you off to classes to learn to snap your finger and say " better luck next time. "

Is that going to help? Are you going to do it? Will it resolve how you feel?

I think you need to tailor what you teach the child to what he is trying to

accomplish with his behaviors.

Roxanna

Re: ( ) IEP goal for frustration...

>

> Herein lies the problem, at least in part. Like Pam said, there

> needs to be

> a replacement. AND, there should be some effort to eliminate some

> of the triggers while he learns how to deal with them little by

little.

His guidance counselor wants his replacement to be an arm shake, a

finger snap, and an expression, 'Oh, darn, maybe next time.' Is

this what you mean?

> This is where the adults come in. Even with those half of the

times,

> they need to attempt to redirect before he hits the boiling point.

> Ya, I know, easier said than done. And praise him when he

> does recognize it, and takes whatever steps is necessary to

> bring himself down, or leave, or whatever it is he does.

Thank you.

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[Guest guest]

>

> Well, that replacement is only going to work if it actually fulfills

the child's need. It's like if you are starving to death and someone

is eating a plate of spaghetti. You grab at the food. " That's

naughty! " you get told and they send you off to classes to learn to

snap your finger and say " better luck next time. " Is that going to

help? Are you going to do it? Will it resolve how you feel? I think

you need to tailor what you teach the child to what he is trying to

accomplish with his behaviors.

>

> Roxanna

Personally, I don't think so. I think his 'raging' releases body

tension, and that the replacement behavior needs to do the same.

However, I keep asking Ethan if it makes him feel better to cry and

scream, and he says no.

When I reach my 'overload' and scream I don't feel better, either, but

I do feel 're-equiped' to handle my next load of crap, so it MUST work

on some level.