To Viola re clueless teacher

[Guest guest]

Dear Viola,

I re-read your post about the teacher who wrote to you that Ernesto kept

" telling her know " and running away when she told him he needed to go to

time-out. It sounds as if she and Ernesto are really not communicating.

That's exactly how my son would have acted at age 5 (or even later) if a

teacher tried to order him around rather than figuring out how to connect

with him. It's a hard lesson for teachers to learn, but kids with

Asperger's syndrome (or even without it) are more likely to comply with

requests when they see some advantage TO THEMSELVES of doing so. They

usually don't care what the teacher wants, because they tend to lack

empathy, and don't find it particularly rewarding to please other people.

So anyone who is trying to reach our kids has to show them how THEY will

benefit by adhering to classroom rules or by carrying out a particular task.

I don't know if you will be able to get this across to her. It usually took

my son's teachers (with a few lucky exceptions) several months to learn what

worked with him.

Jill