Guest guest Posted March 26, 2006 Report Share Posted March 26, 2006 hi I'm new to the group. I have a six year old son named dennis. He's has adhd and i was recently told he also has pdd nos. So i'm trying to get as much info as i can. They wanted to put him on adderal but my hubby and are family our against it. My mom and dad went as far as saying i'm lazy for wanting to drug my kid and i will make him a zombie or i might kill him with the drug. so i don't know what to do. I don't want my son to change his personality i just want the behavior problems to get better and for him to get along better at school. thanks Crystal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2006 Report Share Posted March 26, 2006 Hi! " My mom and dad went as far as saying i'm lazy for wanting to drug my kid and i will make him a zombie... " I'm sorry you're getting this kind of advice! You and your husband know best; not anyone else. You see him the most. No one wants to make their kid a " zombie " with drugs. But they can be really life-changing for some. Some kids I know can focus and actually sit through a book for the first time because of what they're on. One mom told me her daughter " had a conversation with him for the first time " . - Adrienne from Boston __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2006 Report Share Posted March 27, 2006 Subject: Re: ( ) Digest Number 5923 hi I'm new to the group. I have a six year old son named dennis. He's has adhd and i was recently told he also has pdd nos. So i'm trying to get as much info as i can. They wanted to put him on adderal but my hubby and are family our against it. My mom and dad went as far as saying i'm lazy for wanting to drug my kid and i will make him a zombie or i might kill him with the drug. so i don't know what to do. I don't want my son to change his personality i just want the behavior problems to get better and for him to get along better at school. thanks Crystal Welcome to our group Crystal! Feel free to post anytime you want! As for meds, your parents are speaking out of fear and/or ignorance about medications. Sometimes it is better not to involve people who are going to be so negative in your and your husbands decisions about your child. If they will be able to understand, educate them as you learn information. If not, try not to tell them every detail so you don't have to deal with their emotions as well. It can get too weighty! Medications can be helpful for some kids. You have to determine what you are trying to work on in order to know if the meds are working or not. If your child turns into a zombie, it is the wrong med or the dosage is way too high. Meds are not meant to zombie kids up. Doctor's will almost always start with the lowest dosage of a med and then increase dosage until you see an improvement. Meds are not meant to change his personality either. He will still be the same child you always have had. Again, you need to define what you are wanting the med to do and there is no " make my child someone else " med. Meds can be tricky to find the " right " one or " right combination. " That can be frustrating for everyone. Some meds are disasters for your kid and you will know it and call the doc and change course immediately. Some meds will not do anything at all and you will call the doc and decide what to do next. And some meds are perfect and heaven sent because they do what you need them to do and the child is able to blossom! But I know your fears because we were once there many years ago - long before we had the internet to get information from! And we did not want to " drug " our son either or change him - he was just so stressed out he could not function. We couldn't take him anywhere! My dh always told the doc, " No, we don't need meds, he's fine. " But I finally spoke up - because he wasn't fine and my dh didn't have to stay with him tantrumming all day! Finally we agreed to start with Zoloft, an antidepressant. Within ten days, we wondered why we hesitated at all! He was the same kid, only he was not imprisoned by his fears and anxieties. He was able to talk to other people and learn for once. So it worked out for us. This is not to say that it always works out so great! Some people are not as lucky with meds because all people react to the meds differently. But if you have tried everything and nothing is working, do not feel like a " Lazy " parent for trying another option available to you. That is just what people say who don't understand the needs of a child with special needs/a disability. So talk with your dh and the doctor and make decisions based on what your son needs, not what the family will think. Roxanna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2006 Report Share Posted March 27, 2006 When my oldest son was diagnosed with ADD and learning disabilities my fil said maybe a good spanking would motivate him. They just didn't get it. I was against meds too for a long time but finally gave in and what a difference. I had a horrible time dealing with the guilt of there being something wrong with my child and what did I do differently with him then my first pregnancy. I know now that it wasn't me and maybe that is where your husband is as far as there being something different from the perfect child in his mind. My son with the AS diagnosis is also ADHD and ODD and the comments for along time is he just needed a good spanking but he was a foster child and you can t spank them and then when we finalized the adoption that suggestion was made again. If it was only that easy. Educate your parents and husband, there are a lot of great articles on line and great books that deal with AS/PDD-NOS. My psychiatrist for my son was the one who finally said to me this has nothing to do with your parenting skills but I know everyone including me thought is was the way we were raising him, even though it was not an issue with my other kids. This is a great place to be for support so welcome to the group. Suzanne -- Re: ( ) Digest Number 5923 hi I'm new to the group. I have a six year old son named dennis. He's has adhd and i was recently told he also has pdd nos. So i'm trying to get as much info as i can. They wanted to put him on adderal but my hubby and are family our against it. My mom and dad went as far as saying i'm lazy for wanting to drug my kid and i will make him a zombie or i might kill him with the drug. so i don't know what to do. I don't want my son to change his personality i just want the behavior problems to get better and for him to get along better at school. thanks Crystal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2006 Report Share Posted March 27, 2006 Hello, What if you let your husband work with your son with his behavior concerns: like do the " roll play " , " monologue " , and take him to therapy. And you will be there for your sons academic needs. Sometimes a person can't see the same concerns you see because, you are the one working so hard with your son, and you are the one correcting him, and you are the one trying so hard to make your son socially appropriate. So, your husband doesn't see the whole picture that you see, UNTIL you let him handle it completely (this will be hard) without any help from you. When you see your son acting inappropriately. Instead of correcting your son, bring it up to your husband by saying: Is he (your son) acting the way he should be? or did you hear what our son just said? Then when your husband " really sees " your son's behavior by " him " working with your son, then maybe that's when it would be a good time for the both of you to talk about whats best for your sons behaviors. Good Luck to you - Rose hi I'm new to the group. I have a six year old son named dennis. He's has adhd and i was recently told he also has pdd nos. So i'm trying to get as much info as i can. They wanted to put him on adderal but my hubby and are family our against it. My mom and dad went as far as saying i'm \lazy for wanting to drug my kid and i will make him a zombie or i might kill him with the drug. so i don't know what to do. I don't want my son to change his personality i just want the behavior problems to get better and for him to get along better at school. thanks Crystal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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