Re: Violence with a styrofoam cup

[Guest guest]

On Aug 28, 2006, at 1:37 PM, ladyabyrose wrote:

> I have been on the phone all morning with my son's school. To learn

> that he was removed from the classroom last week for tossing a

> styrofoam cup (empty) at the teacher. She considered it " violent " and

> that she was being " attacked " . " Attack of the styrofoam cup " sheesh!

And don't tell me...I bet they think this also " came out of nowhere. "

Jackie

[Guest guest]

You go girl!!! I second that thought!

From: kbtoni@...

Sent: Monday, August 28, 2006 3:48 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Violence with a styrofoam cup

Gosh, poor lady, scared of a styrofoam cup... Vent on ,

honey, all or most of us parents have to fight and jump

through so many hoops it is JUST EXHAUSTING!! Keep up the

good fight for your son. Toni

> I have been on the phone all morning with my son's school.

> To learn that he was removed from the classroom last week

> for tossing a styrofoam cup (empty) at the teacher. She

> considered it " violent " and that she was being

> " attacked " . " Attack of the styrofoam cup " sheesh!

>

> I have an IEP this Friday. I am not happy with this

> teacher. She is near retirement, I don't see her even

> trying to assist and support an Aspergers Child.

> Unfortunally, in my school district I have to remove my

> son from school..they see missing $$ and I get action. I

> have done this twice, once last year when the papers said

> he was to repeat K and they placed him in First Grade,

> and when they had him placed in an ESL class. (we don't

> speak Spanish)

>

> His doctor is insisting that he needs an aide, however,

> the school doesnt want to hear this. I can't see him in a

> VE class where he would learn other inappropriate

> behaviors. I will have him home until I can see an

> acceptable plan and placement for him. It's almost like

> they punish him for having a disability.

>

> Sorry, needed to vent! A styrofoam cup!

>

>

>

>

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy

today. I can CHOOSE which it shall be. Groucho Marx

_________________________________________

Check your Email accounts at MyEmail.com

Login from home, work, school. Anywhere!

[Guest guest]

I feel your pain! We had an AWFUL K teacher for Max last year.

HORRIBLE. Would give more detail except that I have to leave to pick

him up from First grade in a new school w/ a FANTASTIC teacher this year.

More details to come. Before I go, we also withdrew him and

homeschooled the last 2 mos of kinder.

>

> I have been on the phone all morning with my son's school. To learn

> that he was removed from the classroom last week for tossing a

> styrofoam cup (empty) at the teacher. She considered it " violent " and

> that she was being " attacked " . " Attack of the styrofoam cup " sheesh!

>

> I have an IEP this Friday. I am not happy with this teacher. She is

> near retirement, I don't see her even trying to assist and support an

> Aspergers Child. Unfortunally, in my school district I have to remove

> my son from school..they see missing $$ and I get action. I have done

> this twice, once last year when the papers said he was to repeat K and

> they placed him in First Grade, and when they had him placed in an ESL

> class. (we don't speak Spanish)

>

> His doctor is insisting that he needs an aide, however, the school

> doesnt want to hear this. I can't see him in a VE class where he would

> learn other inappropriate behaviors. I will have him home until I can

> see an acceptable plan and placement for him. It's almost like they

> punish him for having a disability.

>

> Sorry, needed to vent! A styrofoam cup!

>

[Guest guest]

Gosh, poor lady, scared of a styrofoam cup... Vent on ,

honey, all or most of us parents have to fight and jump

through so many hoops it is JUST EXHAUSTING!! Keep up the

good fight for your son. Toni

> I have been on the phone all morning with my son's school.

> To learn that he was removed from the classroom last week

> for tossing a styrofoam cup (empty) at the teacher. She

> considered it " violent " and that she was being

> " attacked " . " Attack of the styrofoam cup " sheesh!

>

> I have an IEP this Friday. I am not happy with this

> teacher. She is near retirement, I don't see her even

> trying to assist and support an Aspergers Child.

> Unfortunally, in my school district I have to remove my

> son from school..they see missing $$ and I get action. I

> have done this twice, once last year when the papers said

> he was to repeat K and they placed him in First Grade,

> and when they had him placed in an ESL class. (we don't

> speak Spanish)

>

> His doctor is insisting that he needs an aide, however,

> the school doesnt want to hear this. I can't see him in a

> VE class where he would learn other inappropriate

> behaviors. I will have him home until I can see an

> acceptable plan and placement for him. It's almost like

> they punish him for having a disability.

>

> Sorry, needed to vent! A styrofoam cup!

>

>

>

>

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy

today. I can CHOOSE which it shall be. Groucho Marx

_________________________________________

Check your Email accounts at MyEmail.com

Login from home, work, school. Anywhere!

[Guest guest]

The school district cannot say your son is having aggressive

tendencies and then refuse an aide, that is contradictory. You have

to let them know that you are concerned for the safety of the other

students, even if you are not, in order to help you get an aide.

Then if anything ever happens the school district can't come down on

your son because they did not take your suggestion. They should

also conduct a Functional Behavioral Analysis if they are concerned

about his behavior. If there is no behavior problem then it will be

apparent that it was an isloated incident (probably an innocent

impulse)and the teacher will look like an idiot (she already does to

all of us!) They can remove your son for a time out but if they do

more than that, they need to give you what I suggested. A positive

reinforcement schedule needs to be put in place, not a negative

one. You may need to get an advocate if you don;t get anywhere.

Good Luck to you Debbie

>

> You go girl!!! I second that thought!

>

> From: kbtoni@...

>

> Sent: Monday, August 28, 2006 3:48 PM

> Subject: Re: ( ) Violence with a styrofoam cup

>

>

>

> Gosh, poor lady, scared of a styrofoam cup... Vent on ,

> honey, all or most of us parents have to fight and jump

> through so many hoops it is JUST EXHAUSTING!! Keep up the

> good fight for your son. Toni

>

> > I have been on the phone all morning with my son's school.

> > To learn that he was removed from the classroom last week

> > for tossing a styrofoam cup (empty) at the teacher. She

> > considered it " violent " and that she was being

> > " attacked " . " Attack of the styrofoam cup " sheesh!

> >

> > I have an IEP this Friday. I am not happy with this

> > teacher. She is near retirement, I don't see her even

> > trying to assist and support an Aspergers Child.

> > Unfortunally, in my school district I have to remove my

> > son from school..they see missing $$ and I get action. I

> > have done this twice, once last year when the papers said

> > he was to repeat K and they placed him in First Grade,

> > and when they had him placed in an ESL class. (we don't

> > speak Spanish)

> >

> > His doctor is insisting that he needs an aide, however,

> > the school doesnt want to hear this. I can't see him in a

> > VE class where he would learn other inappropriate

> > behaviors. I will have him home until I can see an

> > acceptable plan and placement for him. It's almost like

> > they punish him for having a disability.

> >

> > Sorry, needed to vent! A styrofoam cup!

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

> I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy

> today. I can CHOOSE which it shall be. Groucho Marx

>

> _________________________________________

>

> Check your Email accounts at MyEmail.com

>

> Login from home, work, school. Anywhere!

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My son was suspended for a day last year (he was 8 years old, in second grade)

for throwing foam rubber grapes at a student teacher. They said that any act of

aggression toward an adult was automatically a day's suspension.

And the best part? I'm a teacher in the school where it happened.

---------------------------------

Get your own web address for just $1.99/1st yr. We'll help. Small

Business.

[Guest guest]

Everyone in this group is so nice all the time wow. I have to be

honest and I hope you all would be with me.

I'm really surprised that you could defend your child throwing

anything at a teacher, styrofoam cup, pencil, anything.

I know we get so used to fighting for our kids and defending their

rights that we forget sometimes that they are just plain wrong.

It used to be that if the school called home with a problem or the

neighbor came over to tell you that your child had done something

wrong that the parents took action. They disciplined the kids and

believed the other adults because children are still learning and

are not always right.

Now other parents are afraid to talk to each other. If I have a

child over for a play date and they do something wrong I think twice

about telling the parent because most of the time they just defend

their child and get angry.

So I'm sure you'll probably be angry about this post and want to

defend your child again about how throwing styrofoam is not a big

deal but really think about it throwing something at a teacher is

just plain wrong Autism, Aspergers, or Normal kids, they have to

learn to respect authority its just a basic fact of life.

Rechelle

Mom to Lara, 7 year old aspie

>

> I have been on the phone all morning with my son's school. To

learn

> that he was removed from the classroom last week for tossing a

> styrofoam cup (empty) at the teacher. She considered it " violent "

and

> that she was being " attacked " . " Attack of the styrofoam cup "

sheesh!

>

> I have an IEP this Friday. I am not happy with this teacher. She

is

> near retirement, I don't see her even trying to assist and support

an

> Aspergers Child. Unfortunally, in my school district I have to

remove

> my son from school..they see missing $$ and I get action. I have

done

> this twice, once last year when the papers said he was to repeat K

and

> they placed him in First Grade, and when they had him placed in an

ESL

> class. (we don't speak Spanish)

>

> His doctor is insisting that he needs an aide, however, the school

> doesnt want to hear this. I can't see him in a VE class where he

would

> learn other inappropriate behaviors. I will have him home until I

can

> see an acceptable plan and placement for him. It's almost like

they

> punish him for having a disability.

>

> Sorry, needed to vent! A styrofoam cup!

>

[Guest guest]

I take it as a signal that the BIP, if any, is inadequate, or support

is not adequate. It's not so much defense on my part, as " okay

what do we need to do to prevent a re-occurence. " There are triggers,

there are signs. Gotta learn them and do something proactive about

them.

Jackie

On Aug 28, 2006, at 10:32 PM, rechelle5us wrote:

>

> I'm really surprised that you could defend your child throwing

> anything at a teacher, styrofoam cup, pencil, anything.

[Guest guest]

As I teacher I agree with you Rechelle. It is certainly not on to throw a cup

at the teacher. Perhaps though the punishment was too harsh. I am not exactly

sure of the events leading up to the cup throwing so it's a hard judgement call

to make.

Beck

( ) Re: Violence with a styrofoam cup

Everyone in this group is so nice all the time wow. I have to be

honest and I hope you all would be with me.

I'm really surprised that you could defend your child throwing

anything at a teacher, styrofoam cup, pencil, anything.

I know we get so used to fighting for our kids and defending their

rights that we forget sometimes that they are just plain wrong.

It used to be that if the school called home with a problem or the

neighbor came over to tell you that your child had done something

wrong that the parents took action. They disciplined the kids and

believed the other adults because children are still learning and

are not always right.

Now other parents are afraid to talk to each other. If I have a

child over for a play date and they do something wrong I think twice

about telling the parent because most of the time they just defend

their child and get angry.

So I'm sure you'll probably be angry about this post and want to

defend your child again about how throwing styrofoam is not a big

deal but really think about it throwing something at a teacher is

just plain wrong Autism, Aspergers, or Normal kids, they have to

learn to respect authority its just a basic fact of life.

Rechelle

Mom to Lara, 7 year old aspie

>

> I have been on the phone all morning with my son's school. To

learn

> that he was removed from the classroom last week for tossing a

> styrofoam cup (empty) at the teacher. She considered it " violent "

and

> that she was being " attacked " . " Attack of the styrofoam cup "

sheesh!

>

> I have an IEP this Friday. I am not happy with this teacher. She

is

> near retirement, I don't see her even trying to assist and support

an

> Aspergers Child. Unfortunally, in my school district I have to

remove

> my son from school..they see missing $$ and I get action. I have

done

> this twice, once last year when the papers said he was to repeat K

and

> they placed him in First Grade, and when they had him placed in an

ESL

> class. (we don't speak Spanish)

>

> His doctor is insisting that he needs an aide, however, the school

> doesnt want to hear this. I can't see him in a VE class where he

would

> learn other inappropriate behaviors. I will have him home until I

can

> see an acceptable plan and placement for him. It's almost like

they

> punish him for having a disability.

>

> Sorry, needed to vent! A styrofoam cup!

>

[Guest guest]

Rechelle,

I absolutely agree with you. The reasons my son was disciplined in

school are completely legitimate and I always backed the

administration up on their discipline.

My problem is with the attitude my son's teacher & principal had

toward us and especially toward him. They refused to have him

evaluated, therefore they ended up dealing with a kid w/ " behavior

problems " (as they called him) without ever having the boy evaluated

to decipher what REALLY was the cause. The teacher would try to

physically escort him to the office and he would pull away from her.

He was threatened w/ police involvement (by the teacher's husband, a

police officer in town!) and his teacher's previous job was Juvenile

Probation Officer. She'd only been teaching kindergarten for 4 years.

The woman also confronted me in a negative manner about helping out in

the class w/o filling out a form to submit to a background check. I

have no problem w/ a background check. But for 2 MONTHS I was helping

out in that school at LEAST twice a week and not one person ever said

one word to me about the form or anything else. As soon as Max's

teacher came back from maternity leave, suddenly I'm not allowed on

school grounds because I might be " a child molester. " She actually

implied that. Why I didn't take my son, go gather his things, and walk

him out of that school forever is beyond me. It took another day to

make that decision.

It was not ever what Max did wrong or how disciplne was handled. It

was what THEY did, what THEY said, and how they treated him.

The diarrhea incident is another issue. Read on.

Upon having a diarrhea accident in school on Dec. 19, 2005, he was

sent to the office and made to stand on paper, outside the office,

until we came to pick him up. We were not even allowed to change him

in the bathroom or clean him up so we could bring him home, even

though we were informed that we needed to bring him a change of

clothes, therefore, he sat in his own excrement until we got home.

When we put him in the shower, his skin was inflamed and raw from the

dried on waste.

>

> While I realize no nurse was in that day (she had the flu like half

the ppl in town), there is no excuse for this treatment towards any

child. I am shocked at the ability of a staff that works with

children, to be so cruel and humiliating to a child. I am stunned at

the incompetence. And we got no *real* justice after speaking w/ the

superintendent about it, either. *eyes rolling*

I honestly don't know why I didn't pull him out that minute.

And you know, for all of his mistreatment, he still loved school

itself. When we took him out to homeschool for the last 2 mos of

kindergarten he wanted to go back SO BADLY. He told me, " Maybe Mrs. A

will be nice to me now. "

After taking him out, I discovered 6 other parents had problems w/ her

and one of them was trying to get her kid changed to a different class.

Anyway, really long answer. I do agree w/ you. I just wanted to get

Max's story out there so ppl could see why I was defensive about him.

~

>

> Everyone in this group is so nice all the time wow. I have to be

> honest and I hope you all would be with me.

>

> I'm really surprised that you could defend your child throwing

> anything at a teacher, styrofoam cup, pencil, anything.

>

> I know we get so used to fighting for our kids and defending their

> rights that we forget sometimes that they are just plain wrong.

>

> It used to be that if the school called home with a problem or the

> neighbor came over to tell you that your child had done something

> wrong that the parents took action. They disciplined the kids and

> believed the other adults because children are still learning and

> are not always right.

>

> Now other parents are afraid to talk to each other. If I have a

> child over for a play date and they do something wrong I think twice

> about telling the parent because most of the time they just defend

> their child and get angry.

>

> So I'm sure you'll probably be angry about this post and want to

> defend your child again about how throwing styrofoam is not a big

> deal but really think about it throwing something at a teacher is

> just plain wrong Autism, Aspergers, or Normal kids, they have to

> learn to respect authority its just a basic fact of life.

>

> Rechelle

> Mom to Lara, 7 year old aspie

>

[Guest guest]

You know, it is absolutely ridiculous the things that you hear sometimes, kids

shoes taped to feet, making them stand on newspaper outside office in their own

waste. I absolutely can't believe there are adults in society that think this

is ok. What is wrong with people. If it weren't for the humiliation factor for

my son, when they informed me that I " couldn't " change my son on the school

grounds, I think I would have felt compelled to lay him down right there change

his britches and slam the messy undies on the jerk offenders desk and promptly

find a new school but that's just me, I'm still dealing with a few

bitterness issues LOL I hope for your DS sake (who sounds so sweet) that this

school gets their act together b/c it sounds like he really enjoys going there

(FOR SOME REASON, what I don't know when they treat him that way) Good luck.

<carriebeary77@...> wrote:

Rechelle,

I absolutely agree with you. The reasons my son was disciplined in

school are completely legitimate and I always backed the

administration up on their discipline.

My problem is with the attitude my son's teacher & principal had

toward us and especially toward him. They refused to have him

evaluated, therefore they ended up dealing with a kid w/ " behavior

problems " (as they called him) without ever having the boy evaluated

to decipher what REALLY was the cause. The teacher would try to

physically escort him to the office and he would pull away from her.

He was threatened w/ police involvement (by the teacher's husband, a

police officer in town!) and his teacher's previous job was Juvenile

Probation Officer. She'd only been teaching kindergarten for 4 years.

The woman also confronted me in a negative manner about helping out in

the class w/o filling out a form to submit to a background check. I

have no problem w/ a background check. But for 2 MONTHS I was helping

out in that school at LEAST twice a week and not one person ever said

one word to me about the form or anything else. As soon as Max's

teacher came back from maternity leave, suddenly I'm not allowed on

school grounds because I might be " a child molester. " She actually

implied that. Why I didn't take my son, go gather his things, and walk

him out of that school forever is beyond me. It took another day to

make that decision.

It was not ever what Max did wrong or how disciplne was handled. It

was what THEY did, what THEY said, and how they treated him.

The diarrhea incident is another issue. Read on.

Upon having a diarrhea accident in school on Dec. 19, 2005, he was

sent to the office and made to stand on paper, outside the office,

until we came to pick him up. We were not even allowed to change him

in the bathroom or clean him up so we could bring him home, even

though we were informed that we needed to bring him a change of

clothes, therefore, he sat in his own excrement until we got home.

When we put him in the shower, his skin was inflamed and raw from the

dried on waste.

>

> While I realize no nurse was in that day (she had the flu like half

the ppl in town), there is no excuse for this treatment towards any

child. I am shocked at the ability of a staff that works with

children, to be so cruel and humiliating to a child. I am stunned at

the incompetence. And we got no *real* justice after speaking w/ the

superintendent about it, either. *eyes rolling*

I honestly don't know why I didn't pull him out that minute.

And you know, for all of his mistreatment, he still loved school

itself. When we took him out to homeschool for the last 2 mos of

kindergarten he wanted to go back SO BADLY. He told me, " Maybe Mrs. A

will be nice to me now. "

After taking him out, I discovered 6 other parents had problems w/ her

and one of them was trying to get her kid changed to a different class.

Anyway, really long answer. I do agree w/ you. I just wanted to get

Max's story out there so ppl could see why I was defensive about him.

~

>

> Everyone in this group is so nice all the time wow. I have to be

> honest and I hope you all would be with me.

>

> I'm really surprised that you could defend your child throwing

> anything at a teacher, styrofoam cup, pencil, anything.

>

> I know we get so used to fighting for our kids and defending their

> rights that we forget sometimes that they are just plain wrong.

>

> It used to be that if the school called home with a problem or the

> neighbor came over to tell you that your child had done something

> wrong that the parents took action. They disciplined the kids and

> believed the other adults because children are still learning and

> are not always right.

>

> Now other parents are afraid to talk to each other. If I have a

> child over for a play date and they do something wrong I think twice

> about telling the parent because most of the time they just defend

> their child and get angry.

>

> So I'm sure you'll probably be angry about this post and want to

> defend your child again about how throwing styrofoam is not a big

> deal but really think about it throwing something at a teacher is

> just plain wrong Autism, Aspergers, or Normal kids, they have to

> learn to respect authority its just a basic fact of life.

>

> Rechelle

> Mom to Lara, 7 year old aspie

>

---------------------------------

All-new - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster.

[Guest guest]

, my daughter (4 yrs) just aske dme why I was laughing. I LOVED

your description of how you would have wnated to handle that!!! LOL!!!

Believe me, I raised HELL over it! I asked them, " Whose idea WAS this

to stand him outside the office on paper like a DOG?!?!?! " I got no

answer and the principal was nowhere to be found. Interesting, no? And

the superintendent apologized but tried to sweep it under the rug. He

explained that this sort of thing has never happened before where not

only did a student have an accident like that, but also the nurse was

out, also there were no showers available. ly, I could do without

his crap. He was not horrified, as any other normal person would be.

That right there told me what kind of school system we were delaing with.

We took Max out of that school at the end of March and we moved to a

city an hour away in June. I tell EVERYONE about Max's teacher and the

administration there. I have one friend who didn't want her son to

have that teacher so I told her to write a letter to the principal

when enrollment starts and request NOT to have her son in that class.

Anyway, gotta run. Talk later!

~

>

> You know, it is absolutely ridiculous the things that you hear

sometimes, kids shoes taped to feet, making them stand on newspaper

outside office in their own waste. I absolutely can't believe there

are adults in society that think this is ok. What is wrong with

people. If it weren't for the humiliation factor for my son, when

they informed me that I " couldn't " change my son on the school

grounds, I think I would have felt compelled to lay him down right

there change his britches and slam the messy undies on the jerk

offenders desk and promptly find a new school but that's just me,

I'm still dealing with a few bitterness issues LOL I hope for your DS

sake (who sounds so sweet) that this school gets their act together

b/c it sounds like he really enjoys going there (FOR SOME REASON, what

I don't know when they treat him that way) Good luck.

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> I have been on the phone all morning with my son's school. To learn

> that he was removed from the classroom last week for tossing a

> styrofoam cup (empty) at the teacher. She considered it " violent "

and

> that she was being " attacked " . " Attack of the styrofoam cup " sheesh!

>

> I have an IEP this Friday. I am not happy with this teacher. She is

> near retirement, I don't see her even trying to assist and support

an

> Aspergers Child. Unfortunally, in my school district I have to

remove

> my son from school..they see missing $$ and I get action. I have

done

> this twice, once last year when the papers said he was to repeat K

and

> they placed him in First Grade, and when they had him placed in an

ESL

> class. (we don't speak Spanish)

>

> His doctor is insisting that he needs an aide, however, the school

> doesnt want to hear this. I can't see him in a VE class where he

would

> learn other inappropriate behaviors. I will have him home until I

can

> see an acceptable plan and placement for him. It's almost like they

> punish him for having a disability.

>

> Sorry, needed to vent! A styrofoam cup!

>

Thank you everyone! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your

information, views, and experiences. Thank you to the Moderator and

owner for all your hard work in making this board happen! My son and

I are not alone and there are others that face the same challeges we

do. Wow, what a good feeling.

I was a bit delayed in reading all the replies, had to do some last

minute hurricane shopping yesterday. I have been making notes from

your suggestions, opinions and experience.

I agree that my son should never throw anything at a teacher or

anyone else. Thank goodness it was just a syrofoam cup and not a

chair or something. It is wrong however, I beleive it could have been

avoided. I try to see (as much as I can) situtations thru my sons

eyes. My view maybe wrong. But, this is how I have learned to read

him.

What triggered this was his cereal spilling. My son's routine, Get

off the bus, get breakfast, take it to class and eat it.

The cereal spills....

A). That's not supposed to happen CHANGE

. I don't know what to do Anxiety & Fear

C). I feel hurt and embarassed Emotions

D) Now teacher is telling me to clean it up. " She's yelling in my

head " .

Bing-Bang-Boom

Change +Frustration + Anxiety = Meltdown Something so simple to us

can be devestating. My point if teacher could have calmly

said " accidents happen and now we clean up " instead of making a

demand on him may have made a difference.

I guess the word " violent " really hit me hard. Maybe " aggressive "

would have been better wording.

I am going to try and have the doctor fax me his recommendation for

an aide before the IEP on Friday. He only comes to Ft. Myers 3 times

a month, he drives down from Sarasota. The shortage of specialized

professionals here is unreal.

My son's BIP was written 2 years ago and now needs to be re-written.

Thanks for your suggestion on that, I almost forgot he had one.

Well, I could go on and on, my frustration w/schools and just dealing

with this has been building up for along time. Political Correctness,

condeseding talk by the school just really turns my stomach

sometimes. My college degree is just as good as the ones they hold.

Best Wishes to all

[Guest guest]

I agree -- it's not that we're saying it's okay he threw anything, but

more that the teacher is entirely unprepared and handling it badly. A

good teacher would take it as a sign that there's a problem and work on

fixing it, not consider it an 'attack.' Typical society anymore though,

no tolerance and little compassion in a time where 'tolerance' is

preached in all the wrong places. The little boy who threw rocks last

week and was taken away in handcuffs -- amazing, how could the school

not be more prepared to deal with him? He's facing two felony

counts...he's nine and autistic, I still can't wrap my mind around that,

the poor family.

It's a sad situation when we're required to send our children to school

yet they can do these things in return.

Donna

Jackie Geipel wrote:

>

>

> I take it as a signal that the BIP, if any, is inadequate, or support

> is not adequate. It's not so much defense on my part, as " okay

> what do we need to do to prevent a re-occurence. " There are triggers,

> there are signs. Gotta learn them and do something proactive about

> them.

>

> Jackie

>

> On Aug 28, 2006, at 10:32 PM, rechelle5us wrote:

>

> >

> > I'm really surprised that you could defend your child throwing

> > anything at a teacher, styrofoam cup, pencil, anything.

>

>

[Guest guest]

omg, that's awful!

My 5 yos has, well, suffice it to say he's had intestinal issues since

birth. If the school made him stay that way, I'd be all over them, their

district, and anyone else that would listen. Would they want to sit that

way?? That just makes me so angry. It's a *medical* issue, how cruel are

these people?

Wow, no words for what that makes me think.

wrote:

>

> Rechelle,

>

> I absolutely agree with you. The reasons my son was disciplined in

> school are completely legitimate and I always backed the

> administration up on their discipline.

>

> My problem is with the attitude my son's teacher & principal had

> toward us and especially toward him. They refused to have him

> evaluated, therefore they ended up dealing with a kid w/ " behavior

> problems " (as they called him) without ever having the boy evaluated

> to decipher what REALLY was the cause. The teacher would try to

> physically escort him to the office and he would pull away from her.

> He was threatened w/ police involvement (by the teacher's husband, a

> police officer in town!) and his teacher's previous job was Juvenile

> Probation Officer. She'd only been teaching kindergarten for 4 years.

>

> The woman also confronted me in a negative manner about helping out in

> the class w/o filling out a form to submit to a background check. I

> have no problem w/ a background check. But for 2 MONTHS I was helping

> out in that school at LEAST twice a week and not one person ever said

> one word to me about the form or anything else. As soon as Max's

> teacher came back from maternity leave, suddenly I'm not allowed on

> school grounds because I might be " a child molester. " She actually

> implied that. Why I didn't take my son, go gather his things, and walk

> him out of that school forever is beyond me. It took another day to

> make that decision.

>

> It was not ever what Max did wrong or how disciplne was handled. It

> was what THEY did, what THEY said, and how they treated him.

>

> The diarrhea incident is another issue. Read on.

>

> Upon having a diarrhea accident in school on Dec. 19, 2005, he was

> sent to the office and made to stand on paper, outside the office,

> until we came to pick him up. We were not even allowed to change him

> in the bathroom or clean him up so we could bring him home, even

> though we were informed that we needed to bring him a change of

> clothes, therefore, he sat in his own excrement until we got home.

> When we put him in the shower, his skin was inflamed and raw from the

> dried on waste.

> >

> > While I realize no nurse was in that day (she had the flu like half

> the ppl in town), there is no excuse for this treatment towards any

> child. I am shocked at the ability of a staff that works with

> children, to be so cruel and humiliating to a child. I am stunned at

> the incompetence. And we got no *real* justice after speaking w/ the

> superintendent about it, either. *eyes rolling*

>

> I honestly don't know why I didn't pull him out that minute.

>

> And you know, for all of his mistreatment, he still loved school

> itself. When we took him out to homeschool for the last 2 mos of

> kindergarten he wanted to go back SO BADLY. He told me, " Maybe Mrs. A

> will be nice to me now. "

>

> After taking him out, I discovered 6 other parents had problems w/ her

> and one of them was trying to get her kid changed to a different class.

>

> Anyway, really long answer. I do agree w/ you. I just wanted to get

> Max's story out there so ppl could see why I was defensive about him.

>

> ~

>

[Guest guest]

I agree, the teachers need to be EDUCATED on the autism

spectrum and figure out what triggered this incident. No,

there is no excuse for throwing anything but obviously

something, or someone triggered him and he doesn't know how

else to handle it. How about the teachers getting a little

inservice or even doing a little research on the computer to

learn the signs and understand that with sensory issues,

anxiety, social ineptness, etc these kids have a LOT to deal

with at school. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for

aspies to go to school with all the noise, confusion, lights

flickering, lockers slamming, pictures on all the walls....

Toni

> I take it as a signal that the BIP, if any, is inadequate,

> or support is not adequate. It's not so much defense on

> my part, as " okay what do we need to do to prevent a

> re-occurence. " There are triggers, there are signs.

> Gotta learn them and do something proactive about them.

>

>

> Jackie

>

> On Aug 28, 2006, at 10:32 PM, rechelle5us wrote:

>

> >

> > I'm really surprised that you could defend your child

> > throwing anything at a teacher, styrofoam cup, pencil,

> anything.

>

>

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy

today. I can CHOOSE which it shall be. Groucho Marx

_________________________________________

Check your Email accounts at MyEmail.com

Login from home, work, school. Anywhere!

[Guest guest]

My aunt is an 8th grade math teacher and the mother of a 16 yr old

Aspie. One boy, named Max, did very well w/ her but not as well w/

other teachers. She found out later that year that he is an Aspie,

too. All she did was teach him the way he learned best.

I wish all teachers had a clue like she does. I also wish my aunt

taught in our school system, so my Max would have someone watching out

for him! But she lives in CT and we in TX.

I'm not sure about my Max's current teacher (First Grade) but she is

just patient and kind with him. I feel like she really CARES about her

kids. I wish all teachers could be like aunt Carol, Mrs. Bowen, and

Mrs. Fisk, the sub that Max had for kinder last year when his awful

teacher was on maternity leave.

~

>

> I agree, the teachers need to be EDUCATED on the autism

> spectrum and figure out what triggered this incident. No,

> there is no excuse for throwing anything but obviously

> something, or someone triggered him and he doesn't know how

> else to handle it. How about the teachers getting a little

> inservice or even doing a little research on the computer to

> learn the signs and understand that with sensory issues,

> anxiety, social ineptness, etc these kids have a LOT to deal

> with at school. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for

> aspies to go to school with all the noise, confusion, lights

> flickering, lockers slamming, pictures on all the walls....

> Toni

[Guest guest]

,

I like hearing the 'whole' story. Some teachers are REALLY good,

some get blamed, and some just NEED BLAME BECAUSE THEY ARE IDIOTS!!

Sounds like you got the latter.

It is so easy looking in from the outside, to say you should be

doing something specifically for your child, but as a parent we

learn more about what to do.

Sometimes we do need help though.

That would have gotten me mad(the whole rude treatment and the POO

incident~!) That would have flipped me out, too.

His poo incident is the worse. I can't imagine anyone in the school

doing such an ignorant and plain rude thing to a child.

They probably thought they were teaching him a lesson!!!!!!

DUHHHH!!!!

LOL

\

> >

> > Everyone in this group is so nice all the time wow. I have to

be

> > honest and I hope you all would be with me.

> >

> > I'm really surprised that you could defend your child throwing

> > anything at a teacher, styrofoam cup, pencil, anything.

> >

> > I know we get so used to fighting for our kids and defending

their

> > rights that we forget sometimes that they are just plain wrong.

> >

> > It used to be that if the school called home with a problem or

the

> > neighbor came over to tell you that your child had done

something

> > wrong that the parents took action. They disciplined the kids

and

> > believed the other adults because children are still learning

and

> > are not always right.

> >

> > Now other parents are afraid to talk to each other. If I have a

> > child over for a play date and they do something wrong I think

twice

> > about telling the parent because most of the time they just

defend

> > their child and get angry.

> >

> > So I'm sure you'll probably be angry about this post and want to

> > defend your child again about how throwing styrofoam is not a

big

> > deal but really think about it throwing something at a teacher

is

> > just plain wrong Autism, Aspergers, or Normal kids, they have to

> > learn to respect authority its just a basic fact of life.

> >

> > Rechelle

> > Mom to Lara, 7 year old aspie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I have to say as a teacher myself I am mortified that anyone leave a child of

any age in their own excrement. Infact it made me feel sick just reading your

post. I would have reported that incident to your state education department. I

wouldn't even treat an animal like that. That makes me wild. Some people just

shouldn't be teachers!

Beck

( ) Re: Violence with a styrofoam cup

,

I like hearing the 'whole' story. Some teachers are REALLY good,

some get blamed, and some just NEED BLAME BECAUSE THEY ARE IDIOTS!!

Sounds like you got the latter.

It is so easy looking in from the outside, to say you should be

doing something specifically for your child, but as a parent we

learn more about what to do.

Sometimes we do need help though.

That would have gotten me mad(the whole rude treatment and the POO

incident~!) That would have flipped me out, too.

His poo incident is the worse. I can't imagine anyone in the school

doing such an ignorant and plain rude thing to a child.

They probably thought they were teaching him a lesson!!!!!!

DUHHHH!!!!

LOL

\

> >

> > Everyone in this group is so nice all the time wow. I have to

be

> > honest and I hope you all would be with me.

> >

> > I'm really surprised that you could defend your child throwing

> > anything at a teacher, styrofoam cup, pencil, anything.

> >

> > I know we get so used to fighting for our kids and defending

their

> > rights that we forget sometimes that they are just plain wrong.

> >

> > It used to be that if the school called home with a problem or

the

> > neighbor came over to tell you that your child had done

something

> > wrong that the parents took action. They disciplined the kids

and

> > believed the other adults because children are still learning

and

> > are not always right.

> >

> > Now other parents are afraid to talk to each other. If I have a

> > child over for a play date and they do something wrong I think

twice

> > about telling the parent because most of the time they just

defend

> > their child and get angry.

> >

> > So I'm sure you'll probably be angry about this post and want to

> > defend your child again about how throwing styrofoam is not a

big

> > deal but really think about it throwing something at a teacher

is

> > just plain wrong Autism, Aspergers, or Normal kids, they have to

> > learn to respect authority its just a basic fact of life.

> >

> > Rechelle

> > Mom to Lara, 7 year old aspie

> >

>