Re: How to Homeschool my DD (13) - She doesn't want to

[Guest guest]

You should really check into the public school system. Unless your school is a

really awful one, they probably do have a decent special ed program. Or you can

work with them to design one.

Other options may be available - check into virtual schools or ask about

tutoring from the school. In ohio, we have a couple of internet " virtual "

schools. The parent oversees things but the child does work online and with a

set curriculum and help from teachers as necessary.

Roxanna

( ) How to Homeschool my DD (13) - She doesn't want to

I homeschooled my daughter (13, Aspergers, APD) for grades 1 to 5,

before I knew about her Aspergers. I tried 6th grade, but she didn't

learn much (APD most likely). So I homeschooled 7th grade, and she

wouldn't cooperate at all. Wasted year. I am a nut to try

homeschooling for 8th grade, but I just know that school will be a

waste of time. What should I do? How can I set the rules in

concrete, create a firm schedule, and let her teach herself? She

wants control. That is what's ruining this homeschool venture.

Mickey

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[Guest guest]

If she wants to NOT homeschool so badly, don't make her. Put her in

public school.

>

> I homeschooled my daughter (13, Aspergers, APD) for grades 1 to 5,

> before I knew about her Aspergers. I tried 6th grade, but she didn't

> learn much (APD most likely). So I homeschooled 7th grade, and she

> wouldn't cooperate at all. Wasted year. I am a nut to try

> homeschooling for 8th grade, but I just know that school will be a

> waste of time. What should I do? How can I set the rules in

> concrete, create a firm schedule, and let her teach herself? She

> wants control. That is what's ruining this homeschool venture.

>

> Mickey

>

[Guest guest]

,

I should have mentioned that she doesn't want public school,

either! LOL You see, this is an aspie girl, who wants to control

every minute of her day. If she attends school or homeschools,

then she believes she has to learn what other people want her to

learn. She wants to write movie scripts all day or draw with Adobe

Photoshop. I think I'm going to have to choose for her, because

she will not decide herself. Both choices sound bad to her.

Mickey

> >

> > I homeschooled my daughter (13, Aspergers, APD) for grades 1 to

5,

> > before I knew about her Aspergers. I tried 6th grade, but she

didn't

> > learn much (APD most likely). So I homeschooled 7th grade, and

she

> > wouldn't cooperate at all. Wasted year. I am a nut to try

> > homeschooling for 8th grade, but I just know that school will be

a

> > waste of time. What should I do? How can I set the rules in

> > concrete, create a firm schedule, and let her teach herself?

She

> > wants control. That is what's ruining this homeschool venture.

> >

> > Mickey

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Roxanna,

My daughter would be mainstreamed with NT's all day. She would have

a 504 with provisions for extra time with tests. If she cannot

handle the anxiety and tension of her day, she can relax somewhere

in school -- they suggested the library. LOL! She hates

libraries. She says they all smell.

I like your idea about virtual schools. We're in NJ. I will look

into this. Thanks, Mickey

>

> You should really check into the public school system. Unless

your school is a really awful one, they probably do have a decent

special ed program. Or you can work with them to design one.

>

> Other options may be available - check into virtual schools or ask

about tutoring from the school. In ohio, we have a couple of

internet " virtual " schools. The parent oversees things but the

child does work online and with a set curriculum and help from

teachers as necessary.

>

>

> Roxanna

> ( ) How to Homeschool my DD (13) - She

doesn't want to

>

>

> I homeschooled my daughter (13, Aspergers, APD) for grades 1 to

5,

> before I knew about her Aspergers. I tried 6th grade, but she

didn't

> learn much (APD most likely). So I homeschooled 7th grade, and

she

> wouldn't cooperate at all. Wasted year. I am a nut to try

> homeschooling for 8th grade, but I just know that school will be

a

> waste of time. What should I do? How can I set the rules in

> concrete, create a firm schedule, and let her teach herself? She

> wants control. That is what's ruining this homeschool venture.

>

> Mickey

>

>

>

>

>

>

> -------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------

>

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG Free Edition.

> Version: 7.1.405 / Virus Database: 268.11.3/423 - Release Date:

8/18/2006

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Anyone read *And the Skylark Sings With Me* by Albert? He

has great ideas for how to follow your child's interests and

passions. He believes in getting your kids out in the community,

which is good for AS kids, who shouldn't be overly isolated.

Mickey

>

> You should really check into the public school system. Unless

your school is a really awful one, they probably do have a decent

special ed program. Or you can work with them to design one.

>

> Other options may be available - check into virtual schools or ask

about tutoring from the school. In ohio, we have a couple of

internet " virtual " schools. The parent oversees things but the

child does work online and with a set curriculum and help from

teachers as necessary.

>

>

> Roxanna

> ( ) How to Homeschool my DD (13) - She

doesn't want to

>

>

> I homeschooled my daughter (13, Aspergers, APD) for grades 1 to

5,

> before I knew about her Aspergers. I tried 6th grade, but she

didn't

> learn much (APD most likely). So I homeschooled 7th grade, and

she

> wouldn't cooperate at all. Wasted year. I am a nut to try

> homeschooling for 8th grade, but I just know that school will be

a

> waste of time. What should I do? How can I set the rules in

> concrete, create a firm schedule, and let her teach herself? She

> wants control. That is what's ruining this homeschool venture.

>

> Mickey

>

>

>

>

>

>

> -------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------

>

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG Free Edition.

> Version: 7.1.405 / Virus Database: 268.11.3/423 - Release Date:

8/18/2006

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh! Well that changes it!

Have you looked into another type of learning option? I can't think

for the life of me what it's called but I KNOW there's a hs'ing style

for kids who learn what they want at their own pace.

I'll have to figure it out and get back to you.

~

>

> ,

> I should have mentioned that she doesn't want public school,

> either! LOL You see, this is an aspie girl, who wants to control

> every minute of her day. If she attends school or homeschools,

> then she believes she has to learn what other people want her to

> learn. She wants to write movie scripts all day or draw with Adobe

> Photoshop. I think I'm going to have to choose for her, because

> she will not decide herself. Both choices sound bad to her.

>

> Mickey

>

[Guest guest]

One of my friends lets her children learn what they're interested in, but salts

their

environment with all sorts of interesting materials on all the academic

subjects. They pick

things up as a matter of natural curiosity, get sucked in, and learn a lot. As

a result,

they're not only learning what they would in school, but they're learning a lot

more. For

example, her 11 year old is studying Latin and one of the younger girls has

started ancient

Greek. It's called 'unschooling.'

However. These are NT kids. I'm not sure it would work as well for an older

Aspie. I think

you could *try* to make other subjects relevant to her focal areas, but it might

be difficult

to work middle/high school level math or chemistry into the mix.

It's something to consider, though.

Sue

>

> Oh! Well that changes it!

>

> Have you looked into another type of learning option? I can't think

> for the life of me what it's called but I KNOW there's a hs'ing style

> for kids who learn what they want at their own pace.

>

[Guest guest]

What about letting her choose what type of curriculum she wants?

We've successfully homeschooled for years now -- my oldest homeschooler

is a junior in high school, so we've been there, done that. Giving a

child choice in what type of work they're doing can make ALL the

difference. There are so many choices of curriculum -- formal " school at

home, " relaxed workbooks, Christian material, lots of visuals, computer

software, etc..you get the point, for every interest/style, there's a

choice of curriculum.

Homeschooling a child with special needs can pose a challenge, but imo,

not necessarily anymore of a challenge than dealing with the school and

the problems it can offer! (My 11yod has some special needs and it was a

nightmare at times dealing with the school paperwork and keeping her

homework within reasonable limits.)

My ASD child is in 1st grade this year at the public school, but who

knows, we may end up homeschooling him at some point. Right now, the

services are so excellent, it's a good choice for us but as he gets

older, we'll take it one day at a time.

Good luck!

Donna

wrote:

>

> If she wants to NOT homeschool so badly, don't make her. Put her in

> public school.

>

>

> >

> > I homeschooled my daughter (13, Aspergers, APD) for grades 1 to 5,

> > before I knew about her Aspergers. I tried 6th grade, but she didn't

> > learn much (APD most likely). So I homeschooled 7th grade, and she

> > wouldn't cooperate at all. Wasted year. I am a nut to try

> > homeschooling for 8th grade, but I just know that school will be a

> > waste of time. What should I do? How can I set the rules in

> > concrete, create a firm schedule, and let her teach herself? She

> > wants control. That is what's ruining this homeschool venture.

> >

> > Mickey

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Many of the responses to my problem are appropriate for NT's, as

well as AS children. We can range from unschooling to making deals

with the child, so that work gets done. I'm already familiar with

how to do this, as I homeschooled two sons, who are now in college.

What I was trying to find out is how to deal with an AS daughter,

age 13? She insists that I leave her alone in her room. She chases

me away, when she either wants to be alone, or needs to be alone.

It's hard to tell the difference. She makes noises with her voice,

so that she cannot hear me talk, when I want to ask her, " What would

you like to learn? "

While I appreciate all your efforts and responses, I am beginning to

think I should seek professional help. (psychotherapist?)

Mickey

> >

> > Oh! Well that changes it!

> >

> > Have you looked into another type of learning option? I can't

think

> > for the life of me what it's called but I KNOW there's a hs'ing

style

> > for kids who learn what they want at their own pace.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, that would be a good idea... I know all about a child

refusing to do something. My son refuses to go to school on

alot of Mondays because he spends all of Sun and Sun night

anticipating what could happen at school. He will go to his

psych *most* of the time, but refuses to go to a

psychologist to talk. He's missed 2 days out of 11 now...

Hopefully you can find a female for her to talk to that

knows about aspergers... and if she's not on meds maybe the

dr can try something to help. Toni

>

> While I appreciate all your efforts and responses, I am

> beginning to think I should seek professional help.

> (psychotherapist?)

>

> Mickey

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> > >

> > > Oh! Well that changes it!

> > >

> > > Have you looked into another type of learning option?

> I can't think

> > > for the life of me what it's called but I KNOW there's

> a hs'ing style

> > > for kids who learn what they want at their own pace.

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy

today. I can CHOOSE which it shall be. Groucho Marx

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[Guest guest]

Toni, Regarding my dd, would the meds be for anxiety? I'm asking

because I know many AS kids take meds for anxiety. If my dd were in

school, she might need them for that, because she was terribly tense

in 6th grade. (she didn't chat w/other girls) That was the year she

was diagnosed with AS. That's why I homeschooled her in 7th grade.

But she wouldn't cooperate with me in 7th grade.

Any sane mother would tell me to try school for 8th, because of her

horrible behavior in 7th. But I just cannot get myself to give up

on her. I feel that she would be wasting 7 hours per day not

learning. (due to APD, but also due to AS and anxiety) And then I'd

have to teach her after school, anyway.

My question is, do you think she might need meds, even if she is

comfortable at home, while homeschooling? Do other people here use

meds for anxiety, for their homeschooled AS kids?

Thanks, Mickey

>

My son refuses to go to school on

> alot of Mondays because he spends all of Sun and Sun night

> anticipating what could happen at school. He will go to his

> psych *most* of the time, but refuses to go to a

> psychologist to talk. He's missed 2 days out of 11 now...

> Hopefully you can find a female for her to talk to that

> knows about aspergers... and if she's not on meds maybe the

> dr can try something to help. Toni

>

[Guest guest]

I don't know about the homeschooling but one of my aspies is on xanax xr

(anxiety), lexapro, antidepressant and adderall (concentration) adhd med. Before

the xanax he would duck his head when spoken to, bite holes in his shirt, not

answer questions and run when a teacher spoke to him in the hall. Now all the

teachers have complimented him in our NUMEROUS conferences on his " socialness " .

My other twin is bipolar and refuses meds because they make him have more

meltdowns and he won't try anything else. He failed 11th grade, is not as social

and has missed 2 out of 12 days of school. All I can say is try and find a good

pdoc and try some anxiety meds and see if it helps. I can't get my kids to do

homework so homeschooling is NOT an option here. I commend you and all the other

parents that homeschool! Toni

>

> From: " mickey514cp " <mickey514cp@...>

> Date: 2006/08/30 Wed AM 06:48:40 EDT

>

> Subject: ( ) Re: How to Homeschool my DD (13) - She doesn't

want to

>

> Toni, Regarding my dd, would the meds be for anxiety? I'm asking

> because I know many AS kids take meds for anxiety. If my dd were in

> school, she might need them for that, because she was terribly tense

> in 6th grade. (she didn't chat w/other girls) That was the year she

> was diagnosed with AS. That's why I homeschooled her in 7th grade.

> But she wouldn't cooperate with me in 7th grade.

>

> Any sane mother would tell me to try school for 8th, because of her

> horrible behavior in 7th. But I just cannot get myself to give up

> on her. I feel that she would be wasting 7 hours per day not

> learning. (due to APD, but also due to AS and anxiety) And then I'd

> have to teach her after school, anyway.

>

> My question is, do you think she might need meds, even if she is

> comfortable at home, while homeschooling? Do other people here use

> meds for anxiety, for their homeschooled AS kids?

>

> Thanks, Mickey

>

>

> >

> My son refuses to go to school on

> > alot of Mondays because he spends all of Sun and Sun night

> > anticipating what could happen at school. He will go to his

> > psych *most* of the time, but refuses to go to a

> > psychologist to talk. He's missed 2 days out of 11 now...

> > Hopefully you can find a female for her to talk to that

> > knows about aspergers... and if she's not on meds maybe the

> > dr can try something to help. Toni

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>Our problem is exactly like yours. Removal of a favorite

priveledge until child complies with expectations seems to

be the only thing that works (some of the time at least).

Whatever you do, try not to yell at child. Adds fuel to

the fire.

[Guest guest]

I agree that yelling doesn't work. I used a loud angry voice to tell my son to

get into bed a few weeks back and it went horribly wrong. I've never yelled at

him before. I was tired and he kept coming out of his bedroom and mucking

around. It was getting really late and I knew he had kinder the next morning.

The phone was ringing and my daughter had just spilt water in her bed and as I'm

trying to clean the water, rush to the phone and get my daughter to stop

squealing, out he comes again for the millionth time. In my frustration I just

yelled " Get back to bed! " In a very loud angry voice. Well he stopped, looked

at me in shock,the bottom lip started to quiver and then he just crumbled. It

took me literaly two hours to get him to stop shaking and crying. Since then

I've only had to mention the word growl and he starts to scream. It was a

really horrible learning curve for me.

Beck

( ) Re: How to Homeschool my DD (13) - She doesn't

want to

>Our problem is exactly like yours. Removal of a favorite

priveledge until child complies with expectations seems to

be the only thing that works (some of the time at least).

Whatever you do, try not to yell at child. Adds fuel to

the fire.