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Re: Can you take another RANT?

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Posted
Posted

>

.. I'm sure you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in

this rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to

say

> rant... Thanks Toni

>

I got that far because I have been there, am still there, and pulling

out my hair. My son is only 11, but he is 150 lbs. I put him in

residential care at age 7-8 for almost a year and it helped

tremendously with living skills, as well as self control and self

regulation. Unfortunately, I was not knowledgable about AS, his

educational needs, his sensory needs, or how to support or assist in

his continued progress. I have been trying to get him back into

residential care now, because he has become violent and aggresive

again, to the point that he hurts me. I can usually get him in a

physical hold before it gets too bad, but he's not getting any

smaller. I believe that a major reason for his " relapse " is because

he has been in a classroom for emotional behavior disorders since his

release from RC. I didn't really learn much about AS and treatments

until I got a PC, and the more I learn, the more I learn where I was

going wrong, and I'm getting great ideas from sharing with everyone

here.

I don't have any magical answers for you (or me either). Is there a

hospital nearby with a phsyciatric unit? I had to take Jake there

about a dozen times in a two month period before they finally agreed

to residential care. He was even taken there by the police from

school once when I couldn't be reached. I know that if he has hurt

anyone, or is thinking of, or has attempted suicide, they are

required to admit him, and this could open doors to needed services.

Unfortunately, sometimes things have to hit bottom before needs are

met. We have to wave a red flag, stomp up and down, and scream to get

our kids help. I just think it's sad that I will probably have to

repeatedly admit my son into a hospital to get him into residential

care. His case manager, family therapist, and his phsyc, all agree he

needs it, but without those hospital stays, insurance says he is

being maintained in the home " without incident " . It would be so much

easier for HIM, if he didn't have to go though the trips to the phsyc

ward.

Sorry for the long post. Hugs to you, and you'll be in my thoughts as

I pull out my hair along with you =)

Theresa

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Posted
Posted

Theresa

Wow sounds like my son, only now that he is 12, 5'8' and 155 lbs. and he

has hurt school staff as well as myself, was I able to find a good RTF for

him. He has been there for 2 weeks, and I am hopeful that this will be

helpful. The RTF is only 2 hours away so I am able to see my son often, I

also have a hand in his daily life. If I find anything on the net that I

think will be helpful, I send it along to the center and they are going to

use it if they can.

My son only likes and responds to certain people and we never know who that

will be. At this point we are lucky, there are 2 staff members that he

seems to like, and is willing to do most things for them.

I was lucky, the RTF was willing to hire fulltime 3 new staff members for my

son, they are all Aspergers or Autism trained. They also have way more

people there to handle the stress and for my son, they can pass him off to

someone else when he melts down.

I heard my son laugh on Sunday for the first time in years! That says a lot

to me!

I miss him in the house however I know that this is the best thing for him.

(I sure hope so)

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of disorderlybehavior

Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 3:57 PM

Subject: ( ) Re: Can you take another RANT?

>

.. I'm sure you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in

this rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to

say

> rant... Thanks Toni

>

I got that far because I have been there, am still there, and pulling

out my hair. My son is only 11, but he is 150 lbs. I put him in

residential care at age 7-8 for almost a year and it helped

tremendously with living skills, as well as self control and self

regulation. Unfortunately, I was not knowledgable about AS, his

educational needs, his sensory needs, or how to support or assist in

his continued progress. I have been trying to get him back into

residential care now, because he has become violent and aggresive

again, to the point that he hurts me. I can usually get him in a

physical hold before it gets too bad, but he's not getting any

smaller. I believe that a major reason for his " relapse " is because

he has been in a classroom for emotional behavior disorders since his

release from RC. I didn't really learn much about AS and treatments

until I got a PC, and the more I learn, the more I learn where I was

going wrong, and I'm getting great ideas from sharing with everyone

here.

I don't have any magical answers for you (or me either). Is there a

hospital nearby with a phsyciatric unit? I had to take Jake there

about a dozen times in a two month period before they finally agreed

to residential care. He was even taken there by the police from

school once when I couldn't be reached. I know that if he has hurt

anyone, or is thinking of, or has attempted suicide, they are

required to admit him, and this could open doors to needed services.

Unfortunately, sometimes things have to hit bottom before needs are

met. We have to wave a red flag, stomp up and down, and scream to get

our kids help. I just think it's sad that I will probably have to

repeatedly admit my son into a hospital to get him into residential

care. His case manager, family therapist, and his phsyc, all agree he

needs it, but without those hospital stays, insurance says he is

being maintained in the home " without incident " . It would be so much

easier for HIM, if he didn't have to go though the trips to the phsyc

ward.

Sorry for the long post. Hugs to you, and you'll be in my thoughts as

I pull out my hair along with you =)

Theresa

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Posted
Posted

I am SO glad you found help for your son. Thats sounds very

hopeful! I could use some hope now. I understand about your son only

responding to certain people. The boys love and respect their current dr

but he kinda of pooh poohs everything I say. Like when I told him about

n not going to school. The dr's reply was everyone needs a mental

health day! I'm thinking to myself when do I get a mental health day?

The dr has a wonderful reputation and unfortunately there aren't many

drs around here that even see kids. I like him too I just want some

RELIEF for ns depression. I would love to hear my son laugh.

It is SO sad...Continued best of luck to you and your son! Toni

wrote:

> Theresa

>

> Wow sounds like my son, only now that he is 12, 5'8' and 155 lbs. and he

> has hurt school staff as well as myself, was I able to find a good RTF for

> him. He has been there for 2 weeks, and I am hopeful that this will be

> helpful. The RTF is only 2 hours away so I am able to see my son often, I

> also have a hand in his daily life. If I find anything on the net that I

> think will be helpful, I send it along to the center and they are going to

> use it if they can.

>

> My son only likes and responds to certain people and we never know who

> that

> will be. At this point we are lucky, there are 2 staff members that he

> seems to like, and is willing to do most things for them.

>

> I was lucky, the RTF was willing to hire fulltime 3 new staff members

> for my

> son, they are all Aspergers or Autism trained. They also have way more

> people there to handle the stress and for my son, they can pass him off to

> someone else when he melts down.

>

> I heard my son laugh on Sunday for the first time in years! That says

> a lot

> to me!

>

> I miss him in the house however I know that this is the best thing for

> him.

> (I sure hope so)

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of disorderlybehavior

> Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 3:57 PM

>

> Subject: ( ) Re: Can you take another RANT?

>

>

>

>

> >

> . I'm sure you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in

> this rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to

> say

> > rant... Thanks Toni

> >

>

> I got that far because I have been there, am still there, and pulling

> out my hair. My son is only 11, but he is 150 lbs. I put him in

> residential care at age 7-8 for almost a year and it helped

> tremendously with living skills, as well as self control and self

> regulation. Unfortunately, I was not knowledgable about AS, his

> educational needs, his sensory needs, or how to support or assist in

> his continued progress. I have been trying to get him back into

> residential care now, because he has become violent and aggresive

> again, to the point that he hurts me. I can usually get him in a

> physical hold before it gets too bad, but he's not getting any

> smaller. I believe that a major reason for his " relapse " is because

> he has been in a classroom for emotional behavior disorders since his

> release from RC. I didn't really learn much about AS and treatments

> until I got a PC, and the more I learn, the more I learn where I was

> going wrong, and I'm getting great ideas from sharing with everyone

> here.

> I don't have any magical answers for you (or me either). Is there a

> hospital nearby with a phsyciatric unit? I had to take Jake there

> about a dozen times in a two month period before they finally agreed

> to residential care. He was even taken there by the police from

> school once when I couldn't be reached. I know that if he has hurt

> anyone, or is thinking of, or has attempted suicide, they are

> required to admit him, and this could open doors to needed services.

> Unfortunately, sometimes things have to hit bottom before needs are

> met. We have to wave a red flag, stomp up and down, and scream to get

> our kids help. I just think it's sad that I will probably have to

> repeatedly admit my son into a hospital to get him into residential

> care. His case manager, family therapist, and his phsyc, all agree he

> needs it, but without those hospital stays, insurance says he is

> being maintained in the home " without incident " . It would be so much

> easier for HIM, if he didn't have to go though the trips to the phsyc

> ward.

> Sorry for the long post. Hugs to you, and you'll be in my thoughts as

> I pull out my hair along with you =)

>

> Theresa

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

Thanks so much for the hugs and I am sending you hugs back. And will

keep you and your son and everyone on here for that matter in my

prayers! I can relate to wanting to pull your hair out! I am grinding my

teeth in my sleep, waking up with migraines and having heart

palpitations and my heart stops and then flops like a fish. I know it is

stress. I am seriously going to talk to the dr this Thursday and tell

him something has got to give. How can medication work if he refuses to

take it half the time and not give it 6 weeks to start working? Just a

few minutes ago n said he was not taking that f'ing sh*t anymore

because it is just f'ing him up. Such beautiful language I hear around

here. Maybe we could go into the wig making business so that we will

have something to cover our bald heads after we pull all our hair out. I

have to make jokes or I would spend the day crying. I don't mean to

sound like poor pitiful me, but I don't know where else to turn at this

point> Do the county mental health serives places offer any help?

anybody know? Thanks again Theresa. Big fat bear hug to you! Toni

disorderlybehavior wrote:

>

> >

> . I'm sure you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in

> this rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to

> say

> > rant... Thanks Toni

> >

>

> I got that far because I have been there, am still there, and pulling

> out my hair. My son is only 11, but he is 150 lbs. I put him in

> residential care at age 7-8 for almost a year and it helped

> tremendously with living skills, as well as self control and self

> regulation. Unfortunately, I was not knowledgable about AS, his

> educational needs, his sensory needs, or how to support or assist in

> his continued progress. I have been trying to get him back into

> residential care now, because he has become violent and aggresive

> again, to the point that he hurts me. I can usually get him in a

> physical hold before it gets too bad, but he's not getting any

> smaller. I believe that a major reason for his " relapse " is because

> he has been in a classroom for emotional behavior disorders since his

> release from RC. I didn't really learn much about AS and treatments

> until I got a PC, and the more I learn, the more I learn where I was

> going wrong, and I'm getting great ideas from sharing with everyone

> here.

> I don't have any magical answers for you (or me either). Is there a

> hospital nearby with a phsyciatric unit? I had to take Jake there

> about a dozen times in a two month period before they finally agreed

> to residential care. He was even taken there by the police from

> school once when I couldn't be reached. I know that if he has hurt

> anyone, or is thinking of, or has attempted suicide, they are

> required to admit him, and this could open doors to needed services.

> Unfortunately, sometimes things have to hit bottom before needs are

> met. We have to wave a red flag, stomp up and down, and scream to get

> our kids help. I just think it's sad that I will probably have to

> repeatedly admit my son into a hospital to get him into residential

> care. His case manager, family therapist, and his phsyc, all agree he

> needs it, but without those hospital stays, insurance says he is

> being maintained in the home " without incident " . It would be so much

> easier for HIM, if he didn't have to go though the trips to the phsyc

> ward.

> Sorry for the long post. Hugs to you, and you'll be in my thoughts as

> I pull out my hair along with you =)

>

> Theresa

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

> Do the county mental health serives places offer any help?

> anybody know? Thanks again Theresa. Big fat bear hug to you! Toni

>

Without the County Mental Health services here, I don't know what I

would do! I have a great case manager, right now we're trying to at

least get some respite services so I don't completely lose it. Seems

that every process is a long process =/

Theresa

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Posted
Posted

Thanks, I know I sound like a complete nut but I have looked in our

phonebook and I don't find any mental health agencies in our county

except for the health dept. Would this be the place to call. The health

dept? Thanks again, Toni

disorderlybehavior wrote:

>

> > Do the county mental health serives places offer any help?

> > anybody know? Thanks again Theresa. Big fat bear hug to you! Toni

> >

>

>

> Without the County Mental Health services here, I don't know what I

> would do! I have a great case manager, right now we're trying to at

> least get some respite services so I don't completely lose it. Seems

> that every process is a long process =/

>

> Theresa

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

Toni,

All I can do is send you huge hugs.

I have not had any breaks since my son was born. I can tell you a secret.

since my son has been gone (the end of January) I have my older son home

(who is 17) I am just now recovering from the last 12 years. It is not an

easy process to recover ones identity again.

However I would give it all back if I could have my son home and happy.

This day will come I have faith!

Hang in there.

gina

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Toni

Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 4:35 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Can you take another RANT?

I am SO glad you found help for your son. Thats sounds very

hopeful! I could use some hope now. I understand about your son only

responding to certain people. The boys love and respect their current dr

but he kinda of pooh poohs everything I say. Like when I told him about

n not going to school. The dr's reply was everyone needs a mental

health day! I'm thinking to myself when do I get a mental health day?

The dr has a wonderful reputation and unfortunately there aren't many

drs around here that even see kids. I like him too I just want some

RELIEF for ns depression. I would love to hear my son laugh.

It is SO sad...Continued best of luck to you and your son! Toni

wrote:

> Theresa

>

> Wow sounds like my son, only now that he is 12, 5'8' and 155 lbs. and he

> has hurt school staff as well as myself, was I able to find a good RTF for

> him. He has been there for 2 weeks, and I am hopeful that this will be

> helpful. The RTF is only 2 hours away so I am able to see my son often, I

> also have a hand in his daily life. If I find anything on the net that I

> think will be helpful, I send it along to the center and they are going to

> use it if they can.

>

> My son only likes and responds to certain people and we never know who

> that

> will be. At this point we are lucky, there are 2 staff members that he

> seems to like, and is willing to do most things for them.

>

> I was lucky, the RTF was willing to hire fulltime 3 new staff members

> for my

> son, they are all Aspergers or Autism trained. They also have way more

> people there to handle the stress and for my son, they can pass him off to

> someone else when he melts down.

>

> I heard my son laugh on Sunday for the first time in years! That says

> a lot

> to me!

>

> I miss him in the house however I know that this is the best thing for

> him.

> (I sure hope so)

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of disorderlybehavior

> Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 3:57 PM

>

> Subject: ( ) Re: Can you take another RANT?

>

>

>

>

> >

> . I'm sure you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in

> this rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to

> say

> > rant... Thanks Toni

> >

>

> I got that far because I have been there, am still there, and pulling

> out my hair. My son is only 11, but he is 150 lbs. I put him in

> residential care at age 7-8 for almost a year and it helped

> tremendously with living skills, as well as self control and self

> regulation. Unfortunately, I was not knowledgable about AS, his

> educational needs, his sensory needs, or how to support or assist in

> his continued progress. I have been trying to get him back into

> residential care now, because he has become violent and aggresive

> again, to the point that he hurts me. I can usually get him in a

> physical hold before it gets too bad, but he's not getting any

> smaller. I believe that a major reason for his " relapse " is because

> he has been in a classroom for emotional behavior disorders since his

> release from RC. I didn't really learn much about AS and treatments

> until I got a PC, and the more I learn, the more I learn where I was

> going wrong, and I'm getting great ideas from sharing with everyone

> here.

> I don't have any magical answers for you (or me either). Is there a

> hospital nearby with a phsyciatric unit? I had to take Jake there

> about a dozen times in a two month period before they finally agreed

> to residential care. He was even taken there by the police from

> school once when I couldn't be reached. I know that if he has hurt

> anyone, or is thinking of, or has attempted suicide, they are

> required to admit him, and this could open doors to needed services.

> Unfortunately, sometimes things have to hit bottom before needs are

> met. We have to wave a red flag, stomp up and down, and scream to get

> our kids help. I just think it's sad that I will probably have to

> repeatedly admit my son into a hospital to get him into residential

> care. His case manager, family therapist, and his phsyc, all agree he

> needs it, but without those hospital stays, insurance says he is

> being maintained in the home " without incident " . It would be so much

> easier for HIM, if he didn't have to go though the trips to the phsyc

> ward.

> Sorry for the long post. Hugs to you, and you'll be in my thoughts as

> I pull out my hair along with you =)

>

> Theresa

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

Ironically, I received my denial letter from Arizona Department of

Developmental Disabilities for . Besides Aspergers, he has

sensory dysfunction.

The letter states that an individual with a diagnosis of PDD, PDD-NOS,

Asoerger's, Rett Disorder or Childhood Disintegrative Disorder are not

eligible to receive service from the state. A diagnosis of Autistic

Disorder (DSM Code 299.00) is accepted.

Is it like this in all the states? I really want to get ahold of my

congressman or someone to get them to do something. I don't know, I am

so angry. Every time I try, I get nothing but a brick wall. Sometimes,

I feel like quitting but is only 5. And he needs services. I

just do not know where to turn.

Thanks for listening (reading)!!

Cori

mom to ph 8, and 5.

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Posted
Posted

Toni,

Where do you live.

Not the health department, there needs to be a public mental health office

of some kind.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Toni

Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 7:55 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Can you take another RANT?

Thanks, I know I sound like a complete nut but I have looked in our

phonebook and I don't find any mental health agencies in our county

except for the health dept. Would this be the place to call. The health

dept? Thanks again, Toni

disorderlybehavior wrote:

>

> > Do the county mental health serives places offer any help?

> > anybody know? Thanks again Theresa. Big fat bear hug to you! Toni

> >

>

>

> Without the County Mental Health services here, I don't know what I

> would do! I have a great case manager, right now we're trying to at

> least get some respite services so I don't completely lose it. Seems

> that every process is a long process =/

>

> Theresa

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

PA is not like that at all..

I am getting everything paid for Brad. PA recognizes all disorders as long

as they are in the DSM.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of mytwoboys97_00

Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 9:10 PM

Subject: ( ) Re: Can you take another RANT?

Ironically, I received my denial letter from Arizona Department of

Developmental Disabilities for . Besides Aspergers, he has

sensory dysfunction.

The letter states that an individual with a diagnosis of PDD, PDD-NOS,

Asoerger's, Rett Disorder or Childhood Disintegrative Disorder are not

eligible to receive service from the state. A diagnosis of Autistic

Disorder (DSM Code 299.00) is accepted.

Is it like this in all the states? I really want to get ahold of my

congressman or someone to get them to do something. I don't know, I am

so angry. Every time I try, I get nothing but a brick wall. Sometimes,

I feel like quitting but is only 5. And he needs services. I

just do not know where to turn.

Thanks for listening (reading)!!

Cori

mom to ph 8, and 5.

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Posted
Posted

Toni,

There is a school in Connecticut called The Learning Clinic that

teaches kids academics in addition to life skills. They have a four

step residential care program. They take some school district funding.

(I know they take California.) It starts out as residential care, then

becomes assisted living, and ends up as community living. There's

another intermediary step in there somewhere. Website is

www.thelearningclinic.org We're considering this for next year.

Liz

On Apr 25, 2006, at 10:02 AM, tsbthatsme wrote:

> My sons (17 yo twins) go to a private school and have been since we

> moved to this rural area of Ga since 6 th grade. I am like someone

> else that posted and am angry that nobody noticed anything 'was

> wrong' before last year. I read all the great programs their kids

> are getting and now I feel so bad because my kids didn't/aren't

> getting any of that. The county finally started testing them last

> month after I requested testing last Sept or Oct. The boys are

> failing at least 1 class each. n has depression and we can't

> get his meds right. He missed 4 days of school last week and didn't

> go again today. There is no way to force a 17 yo to get out of bed

> and get dressed to go to school. He woke me up at 3:15 am this

> morning to inform me that he just couldn't go to school again today.

> I am at my wits end as well. We have an appt with his pyschiatrist

> this Thurs. When we get in there n always tells him everything

> is 'fine' and I say 'No it isn't you go to school, come home and go

> to bed and miss at least 1 day a week of school.' n told me

> this am that he hasn't told the dr how desperate he is and depressed

> because he is afraid the dr will 'send him somewhere'. The dr

> started him on risperdal the end of March and I really think it has

> helped his anger and agression but B is tired of trying all this med

> and none of it helping. I tried to tell him he needs to give them at

> least 6 weeks to start working. But in my own mind I'm like when are

> we going to find SOMETHING to help with this darn depression.I think

> it has helped some though because before when I have mentioned that

> maybe he needs to go to a residential place he has put a knife to

> his stomach, screaming at the top of his lungs using the " F " word

> and the GD word (both of which I HATE)with veins bulging in his neck

> that he will die if I threaten him again. I have looked up Autism

> support groups in the area and there aren't any. I don't know where

> or what to do to help him and his brother. They don't drive, I have

> to remind them to brush their teeth , they will lie and say they

> have already brushed them, they take a shower and " forget " to bathe

> and wash their hair, I have to remind them/get out their meds and I

> wonder how in the world are they going to make it without me? I

> have had such a bad last year that I have tried to pack my bags and

> just get out of here. n and I were having a fight, he's

> threatening me, himself and hid my keys and threw my clothes on the

> floor (that I was packing) and told me I was not leaving this Fing

> house. I was just going to go to my cousins house for a day or two

> and call my mom after I was out of the house since he threw the

> phone in the house across the room and wouldn't let me get to it. He

> was guarding it holding his knife to his stomach. I guess what I am

> doing is just venting and wondering " Are we ever going to have just

> one NORMAL week/day? I walk on egg shells trying not to set him off

> and his brother who is also aspie but has OCD instead of depression

> sees that n pretty much gets to do what he wants or else he

> will 'go off'. And sadly Noah is right. I just want peace, normalcy,

> kids that go to school everyday and a feeling that I am in control

> of my own home when my husband is out of town. I don't know where

> to " go " to get the help that n especially needs. It is SO

> heart breaking to hear your child say that he is tired of living,

> has never in his life been happy and doesn't want to feel this way

> anymore. AND I don't know when it is really depression and when it

> is that he just hates school and doesn't want to go.I don't

> understand how he can be SO depressed that he can't go to school yet

> he can play computer games cause they 'take his mind off

> everything', why can't he go to school if he can play computer

> games? And if I take the games away from him he will just stay in

> bed until I force him to get up (after umpteen trips downstairs, at

> least I'm exercising running up and down the steps). He has stayed

> in bed for 3 or 4 days at a time just getting up to use the bathroom

> and eat when I make him when I have taken away the games. Which is

> worse, him staying in bed totally or getting up and playing games

> and at least interacting with us? I don't know! I don't feel like I

> know much of anything these days. It is very encouraging to read

> about Connie's son and what he has accomplished but my kids don't

> care if they succeed in school or not. I don't know, my husband and

> I used to want them to get A's and B's now we just want them

> to 'pass'. And for n to just *go* to school and scrape by.

> What is so absolutely frustrating to us is that when they took the

> SAT earlier this year they scored 1st and 2nd highest in their class

> at school.And yet, n has a 30 in geometry and Noah has a 40!

> That's because they dont' do aaaany homework or study for

> tests.

> Is there anywhere for older kids to go that can teach them how to

> cope with day to day living? My husband's 30 yo son (bipolar) OD'd

> in Nov, he works for an airline that has gone bankrupt and took a

> 60,000 paycut, and now is having to go to school in Minneapolis for

> training on another airplane because of downsizing.I'm afraid he is

> going to have a heart attack from the stress. He hates to call home

> because he knows it's always going to be 'bad news' which I hate to

> tell him whats going on to 'pile on' to his already stressed out

> life. I am having heart stopping/ running away and can't sleep

> myself. Maybe the four of us can get a family rate in a mental

> hospital.;) I don't know what I am asking for from ya'll except

> maybe some ideas as to what we can do to help the boys survive

> without us. Where to get help for 'life skills' etc. I am so

> terribly sorry for ranting and raving, I just feel so hopeless,

> helpless, inadequate, uninformed, worried, stressed, etc. I'm sure

> you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in this

> rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to say

> rant... Thanks Toni

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

---In Putnam County Georgia, about 90 miles south of

Atlanta.

In , " "

<etay58@...> wrote:

>

> Toni,

>

> Where do you live.

>

> Not the health department, there needs to be a public mental

health office

> of some kind.

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Toni

> Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 7:55 PM

>

> Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Can you take another RANT?

>

>

>

> Thanks, I know I sound like a complete nut but I have looked in

our

> phonebook and I don't find any mental health agencies in our

county

> except for the health dept. Would this be the place to call. The

health

> dept? Thanks again, Toni

>

> disorderlybehavior wrote:

>

> >

> > > Do the county mental health serives places offer any help?

> > > anybody know? Thanks again Theresa. Big fat bear hug to

you! Toni

> > >

> >

> >

> > Without the County Mental Health services here, I don't know

what I

> > would do! I have a great case manager, right now we're trying to

at

> > least get some respite services so I don't completely lose it.

Seems

> > that every process is a long process =/

> >

> > Theresa

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Posted
Posted

---Liz, thanks. I looked at their website. It looks wonderful. I

wish I could afford to send him there. Thanks for your reply. Do you

have any idea how much it costs yearly?

Toni

In , Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:

>

> Toni,

> There is a school in Connecticut called The Learning Clinic that

> teaches kids academics in addition to life skills. They have a

four

> step residential care program. They take some school district

funding.

> (I know they take California.) It starts out as residential care,

then

> becomes assisted living, and ends up as community living. There's

> another intermediary step in there somewhere. Website is

> www.thelearningclinic.org We're considering this for next

year.

>

> Liz

>

> On Apr 25, 2006, at 10:02 AM, tsbthatsme wrote:

>

> > My sons (17 yo twins) go to a private school and have been since

we

> > moved to this rural area of Ga since 6 th grade. I am like

someone

> > else that posted and am angry that nobody noticed anything 'was

> > wrong' before last year. I read all the great programs their kids

> > are getting and now I feel so bad because my kids didn't/aren't

> > getting any of that. The county finally started testing them last

> > month after I requested testing last Sept or Oct. The boys are

> > failing at least 1 class each. n has depression and we

can't

> > get his meds right. He missed 4 days of school last week and

didn't

> > go again today. There is no way to force a 17 yo to get out of

bed

> > and get dressed to go to school. He woke me up at 3:15 am this

> > morning to inform me that he just couldn't go to school again

today.

> > I am at my wits end as well. We have an appt with his

pyschiatrist

> > this Thurs. When we get in there n always tells him

everything

> > is 'fine' and I say 'No it isn't you go to school, come home and

go

> > to bed and miss at least 1 day a week of school.' n told me

> > this am that he hasn't told the dr how desperate he is and

depressed

> > because he is afraid the dr will 'send him somewhere'. The dr

> > started him on risperdal the end of March and I really think it

has

> > helped his anger and agression but B is tired of trying all this

med

> > and none of it helping. I tried to tell him he needs to give

them at

> > least 6 weeks to start working. But in my own mind I'm like when

are

> > we going to find SOMETHING to help with this darn depression.I

think

> > it has helped some though because before when I have mentioned

that

> > maybe he needs to go to a residential place he has put a knife to

> > his stomach, screaming at the top of his lungs using the " F " word

> > and the GD word (both of which I HATE)with veins bulging in his

neck

> > that he will die if I threaten him again. I have looked up Autism

> > support groups in the area and there aren't any. I don't know

where

> > or what to do to help him and his brother. They don't drive, I

have

> > to remind them to brush their teeth , they will lie and say they

> > have already brushed them, they take a shower and " forget " to

bathe

> > and wash their hair, I have to remind them/get out their meds

and I

> > wonder how in the world are they going to make it without me? I

> > have had such a bad last year that I have tried to pack my bags

and

> > just get out of here. n and I were having a fight, he's

> > threatening me, himself and hid my keys and threw my clothes on

the

> > floor (that I was packing) and told me I was not leaving this

Fing

> > house. I was just going to go to my cousins house for a day or

two

> > and call my mom after I was out of the house since he threw the

> > phone in the house across the room and wouldn't let me get to

it. He

> > was guarding it holding his knife to his stomach. I guess what I

am

> > doing is just venting and wondering " Are we ever going to have

just

> > one NORMAL week/day? I walk on egg shells trying not to set him

off

> > and his brother who is also aspie but has OCD instead of

depression

> > sees that n pretty much gets to do what he wants or else he

> > will 'go off'. And sadly Noah is right. I just want peace,

normalcy,

> > kids that go to school everyday and a feeling that I am in

control

> > of my own home when my husband is out of town. I don't know where

> > to " go " to get the help that n especially needs. It is SO

> > heart breaking to hear your child say that he is tired of living,

> > has never in his life been happy and doesn't want to feel this

way

> > anymore. AND I don't know when it is really depression and when

it

> > is that he just hates school and doesn't want to go.I don't

> > understand how he can be SO depressed that he can't go to school

yet

> > he can play computer games cause they 'take his mind off

> > everything', why can't he go to school if he can play computer

> > games? And if I take the games away from him he will just stay in

> > bed until I force him to get up (after umpteen trips downstairs,

at

> > least I'm exercising running up and down the steps). He has

stayed

> > in bed for 3 or 4 days at a time just getting up to use the

bathroom

> > and eat when I make him when I have taken away the games. Which

is

> > worse, him staying in bed totally or getting up and playing games

> > and at least interacting with us? I don't know! I don't feel

like I

> > know much of anything these days. It is very encouraging to read

> > about Connie's son and what he has accomplished but my kids don't

> > care if they succeed in school or not. I don't know, my husband

and

> > I used to want them to get A's and B's now we just want them

> > to 'pass'. And for n to just *go* to school and scrape by.

> > What is so absolutely frustrating to us is that when they took

the

> > SAT earlier this year they scored 1st and 2nd highest in their

class

> > at school.And yet, n has a 30 in geometry and Noah has a

40!

> > That's because they dont' do aaaany homework or study for

> > tests.

> > Is there anywhere for older kids to go that can teach them how

to

> > cope with day to day living? My husband's 30 yo son (bipolar)

OD'd

> > in Nov, he works for an airline that has gone bankrupt and took a

> > 60,000 paycut, and now is having to go to school in Minneapolis

for

> > training on another airplane because of downsizing.I'm afraid he

is

> > going to have a heart attack from the stress. He hates to call

home

> > because he knows it's always going to be 'bad news' which I hate

to

> > tell him whats going on to 'pile on' to his already stressed out

> > life. I am having heart stopping/ running away and can't sleep

> > myself. Maybe the four of us can get a family rate in a mental

> > hospital.;) I don't know what I am asking for from ya'll except

> > maybe some ideas as to what we can do to help the boys survive

> > without us. Where to get help for 'life skills' etc. I am so

> > terribly sorry for ranting and raving, I just feel so hopeless,

> > helpless, inadequate, uninformed, worried, stressed, etc. I'm

sure

> > you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in this

> > rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to say

> > rant... Thanks Toni

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Posted
Posted

Toni,

Did a little research on your area. The link (you'll have to copy and

paste the address) at the bottom of this post is GA Mental Health

Services; it also provides links for services in your area. Good luck

again =)

Theresa

Name: Darlene

Title: Social Services Supervisor

Organization: Putnam County DFCS

Address: P.O. Box 3670, Eatonton, GA. 31024

Fax: 706-485-0073

Children With Special Needs

(404) 657-2726

http://mhddad.dhr.georgia.gov/portal/site/DHR-

MHDDAD/menuitem.8d349b4fc181e44b50c8798dd03036a0/?

vgnextoid=a97a934c1805ff00VgnVCM100000bf01010aRCRD

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Posted
Posted

aww, I'm so weepy, I'm gonna cry. Thanks Theresa. I'm calling TODAY!!!

I'll let you know what happens. Toni

disorderlybehavior wrote:

>

>

> Toni,

> Did a little research on your area. The link (you'll have to copy and

> paste the address) at the bottom of this post is GA Mental Health

> Services; it also provides links for services in your area. Good luck

> again =)

>

> Theresa

>

> Name: Darlene

> Title: Social Services Supervisor

> Organization: Putnam County DFCS

> Address: P.O. Box 3670, Eatonton, GA. 31024

> Fax: 706-485-0073

>

>

> Children With Special Needs

> (404) 657-2726

>

>

> http://mhddad.dhr.georgia.gov/portal/site/DHR-

> MHDDAD/menuitem.8d349b4fc181e44b50c8798dd03036a0/?

> vgnextoid=a97a934c1805ff00VgnVCM100000bf01010aRCRD

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

thanks for the hugs, I need hugs. heres a hug and a congratulations

back at you! I'm hanging in there... it's just I wanna take a magic wand

and make it all better and not see my poor child suffer so from

depression.Its going to get better. The one thing I *do* have is faith

in God. I am sure Brad is going to be happy and home soon!! Take the

time for you and your older son to bond and for you to nurture for

awhile! Toni

wrote:

> Toni,

>

> All I can do is send you huge hugs.

>

> I have not had any breaks since my son was born. I can tell you a secret.

> since my son has been gone (the end of January) I have my older son home

> (who is 17) I am just now recovering from the last 12 years. It is not an

> easy process to recover ones identity again.

>

> However I would give it all back if I could have my son home and happy.

>

> This day will come I have faith!

>

> Hang in there.

>

> gina

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Toni

> Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 4:35 PM

>

> Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Can you take another RANT?

>

>

>

> I am SO glad you found help for your son. Thats sounds very

> hopeful! I could use some hope now. I understand about your son only

> responding to certain people. The boys love and respect their current dr

> but he kinda of pooh poohs everything I say. Like when I told him about

> n not going to school. The dr's reply was everyone needs a mental

> health day! I'm thinking to myself when do I get a mental health day?

> The dr has a wonderful reputation and unfortunately there aren't many

> drs around here that even see kids. I like him too I just want some

> RELIEF for ns depression. I would love to hear my son laugh.

> It is SO sad...Continued best of luck to you and your son! Toni

>

> wrote:

>

> > Theresa

> >

> > Wow sounds like my son, only now that he is 12, 5'8' and 155 lbs.

> and he

> > has hurt school staff as well as myself, was I able to find a good

> RTF for

> > him. He has been there for 2 weeks, and I am hopeful that this will be

> > helpful. The RTF is only 2 hours away so I am able to see my son

> often, I

> > also have a hand in his daily life. If I find anything on the net

> that I

> > think will be helpful, I send it along to the center and they are

> going to

> > use it if they can.

> >

> > My son only likes and responds to certain people and we never know who

> > that

> > will be. At this point we are lucky, there are 2 staff members that he

> > seems to like, and is willing to do most things for them.

> >

> > I was lucky, the RTF was willing to hire fulltime 3 new staff members

> > for my

> > son, they are all Aspergers or Autism trained. They also have way more

> > people there to handle the stress and for my son, they can pass him

> off to

> > someone else when he melts down.

> >

> > I heard my son laugh on Sunday for the first time in years! That says

> > a lot

> > to me!

> >

> > I miss him in the house however I know that this is the best thing for

> > him.

> > (I sure hope so)

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > _____

> >

> > From:

> > [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

> disorderlybehavior

> > Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 3:57 PM

> >

> > Subject: ( ) Re: Can you take another RANT?

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > >

> > . I'm sure you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in

> > this rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to

> > say

> > > rant... Thanks Toni

> > >

> >

> > I got that far because I have been there, am still there, and pulling

> > out my hair. My son is only 11, but he is 150 lbs. I put him in

> > residential care at age 7-8 for almost a year and it helped

> > tremendously with living skills, as well as self control and self

> > regulation. Unfortunately, I was not knowledgable about AS, his

> > educational needs, his sensory needs, or how to support or assist in

> > his continued progress. I have been trying to get him back into

> > residential care now, because he has become violent and aggresive

> > again, to the point that he hurts me. I can usually get him in a

> > physical hold before it gets too bad, but he's not getting any

> > smaller. I believe that a major reason for his " relapse " is because

> > he has been in a classroom for emotional behavior disorders since his

> > release from RC. I didn't really learn much about AS and treatments

> > until I got a PC, and the more I learn, the more I learn where I was

> > going wrong, and I'm getting great ideas from sharing with everyone

> > here.

> > I don't have any magical answers for you (or me either). Is there a

> > hospital nearby with a phsyciatric unit? I had to take Jake there

> > about a dozen times in a two month period before they finally agreed

> > to residential care. He was even taken there by the police from

> > school once when I couldn't be reached. I know that if he has hurt

> > anyone, or is thinking of, or has attempted suicide, they are

> > required to admit him, and this could open doors to needed services.

> > Unfortunately, sometimes things have to hit bottom before needs are

> > met. We have to wave a red flag, stomp up and down, and scream to get

> > our kids help. I just think it's sad that I will probably have to

> > repeatedly admit my son into a hospital to get him into residential

> > care. His case manager, family therapist, and his phsyc, all agree he

> > needs it, but without those hospital stays, insurance says he is

> > being maintained in the home " without incident " . It would be so much

> > easier for HIM, if he didn't have to go though the trips to the phsyc

> > ward.

> > Sorry for the long post. Hugs to you, and you'll be in my thoughts as

> > I pull out my hair along with you =)

> >

> > Theresa

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Posted
Posted

Toni,

I don't know exactly what it costs. I'm assuming upwards of $40K per

year or more, due to the high ratio of staff to students. We'll have to

take out a second mortgage to do it, if that's what we decide to do.

Liz

On Apr 26, 2006, at 5:41 AM, tsbthatsme wrote:

> ---Liz, thanks. I looked at their website. It looks wonderful. I

> wish I could afford to send him there. Thanks for your reply. Do you

> have any idea how much it costs yearly?

> Toni

> In , Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:

>>

>> Toni,

>> There is a school in Connecticut called The Learning Clinic that

>> teaches kids academics in addition to life skills. They have a

> four

>> step residential care program. They take some school district

> funding.

>> (I know they take California.) It starts out as residential care,

> then

>> becomes assisted living, and ends up as community living. There's

>> another intermediary step in there somewhere. Website is

>> www.thelearningclinic.org We're considering this for next

> year.

>>

>> Liz

>>

>> On Apr 25, 2006, at 10:02 AM, tsbthatsme wrote:

>>

>>> My sons (17 yo twins) go to a private school and have been since

> we

>>> moved to this rural area of Ga since 6 th grade. I am like

> someone

>>> else that posted and am angry that nobody noticed anything 'was

>>> wrong' before last year. I read all the great programs their kids

>>> are getting and now I feel so bad because my kids didn't/aren't

>>> getting any of that. The county finally started testing them last

>>> month after I requested testing last Sept or Oct. The boys are

>>> failing at least 1 class each. n has depression and we

> can't

>>> get his meds right. He missed 4 days of school last week and

> didn't

>>> go again today. There is no way to force a 17 yo to get out of

> bed

>>> and get dressed to go to school. He woke me up at 3:15 am this

>>> morning to inform me that he just couldn't go to school again

> today.

>>> I am at my wits end as well. We have an appt with his

> pyschiatrist

>>> this Thurs. When we get in there n always tells him

> everything

>>> is 'fine' and I say 'No it isn't you go to school, come home and

> go

>>> to bed and miss at least 1 day a week of school.' n told me

>>> this am that he hasn't told the dr how desperate he is and

> depressed

>>> because he is afraid the dr will 'send him somewhere'. The dr

>>> started him on risperdal the end of March and I really think it

> has

>>> helped his anger and agression but B is tired of trying all this

> med

>>> and none of it helping. I tried to tell him he needs to give

> them at

>>> least 6 weeks to start working. But in my own mind I'm like when

> are

>>> we going to find SOMETHING to help with this darn depression.I

> think

>>> it has helped some though because before when I have mentioned

> that

>>> maybe he needs to go to a residential place he has put a knife to

>>> his stomach, screaming at the top of his lungs using the " F " word

>>> and the GD word (both of which I HATE)with veins bulging in his

> neck

>>> that he will die if I threaten him again. I have looked up Autism

>>> support groups in the area and there aren't any. I don't know

> where

>>> or what to do to help him and his brother. They don't drive, I

> have

>>> to remind them to brush their teeth , they will lie and say they

>>> have already brushed them, they take a shower and " forget " to

> bathe

>>> and wash their hair, I have to remind them/get out their meds

> and I

>>> wonder how in the world are they going to make it without me? I

>>> have had such a bad last year that I have tried to pack my bags

> and

>>> just get out of here. n and I were having a fight, he's

>>> threatening me, himself and hid my keys and threw my clothes on

> the

>>> floor (that I was packing) and told me I was not leaving this

> Fing

>>> house. I was just going to go to my cousins house for a day or

> two

>>> and call my mom after I was out of the house since he threw the

>>> phone in the house across the room and wouldn't let me get to

> it. He

>>> was guarding it holding his knife to his stomach. I guess what I

> am

>>> doing is just venting and wondering " Are we ever going to have

> just

>>> one NORMAL week/day? I walk on egg shells trying not to set him

> off

>>> and his brother who is also aspie but has OCD instead of

> depression

>>> sees that n pretty much gets to do what he wants or else he

>>> will 'go off'. And sadly Noah is right. I just want peace,

> normalcy,

>>> kids that go to school everyday and a feeling that I am in

> control

>>> of my own home when my husband is out of town. I don't know where

>>> to " go " to get the help that n especially needs. It is SO

>>> heart breaking to hear your child say that he is tired of living,

>>> has never in his life been happy and doesn't want to feel this

> way

>>> anymore. AND I don't know when it is really depression and when

> it

>>> is that he just hates school and doesn't want to go.I don't

>>> understand how he can be SO depressed that he can't go to school

> yet

>>> he can play computer games cause they 'take his mind off

>>> everything', why can't he go to school if he can play computer

>>> games? And if I take the games away from him he will just stay in

>>> bed until I force him to get up (after umpteen trips downstairs,

> at

>>> least I'm exercising running up and down the steps). He has

> stayed

>>> in bed for 3 or 4 days at a time just getting up to use the

> bathroom

>>> and eat when I make him when I have taken away the games. Which

> is

>>> worse, him staying in bed totally or getting up and playing games

>>> and at least interacting with us? I don't know! I don't feel

> like I

>>> know much of anything these days. It is very encouraging to read

>>> about Connie's son and what he has accomplished but my kids don't

>>> care if they succeed in school or not. I don't know, my husband

> and

>>> I used to want them to get A's and B's now we just want them

>>> to 'pass'. And for n to just *go* to school and scrape by.

>>> What is so absolutely frustrating to us is that when they took

> the

>>> SAT earlier this year they scored 1st and 2nd highest in their

> class

>>> at school.And yet, n has a 30 in geometry and Noah has a

> 40!

>>> That's because they dont' do aaaany homework or study for

>>> tests.

>>> Is there anywhere for older kids to go that can teach them how

> to

>>> cope with day to day living? My husband's 30 yo son (bipolar)

> OD'd

>>> in Nov, he works for an airline that has gone bankrupt and took a

>>> 60,000 paycut, and now is having to go to school in Minneapolis

> for

>>> training on another airplane because of downsizing.I'm afraid he

> is

>>> going to have a heart attack from the stress. He hates to call

> home

>>> because he knows it's always going to be 'bad news' which I hate

> to

>>> tell him whats going on to 'pile on' to his already stressed out

>>> life. I am having heart stopping/ running away and can't sleep

>>> myself. Maybe the four of us can get a family rate in a mental

>>> hospital.;) I don't know what I am asking for from ya'll except

>>> maybe some ideas as to what we can do to help the boys survive

>>> without us. Where to get help for 'life skills' etc. I am so

>>> terribly sorry for ranting and raving, I just feel so hopeless,

>>> helpless, inadequate, uninformed, worried, stressed, etc. I'm

> sure

>>> you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in this

>>> rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to say

>>> rant... Thanks Toni

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

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Posted
Posted

Ooops, I meant low ratio of students to staff.

Liz

On Apr 26, 2006, at 1:54 PM, Liz Bohn wrote:

> Toni,

> I don't know exactly what it costs. I'm assuming upwards of $40K per

> year or more, due to the high ratio of staff to students. We'll have to

> take out a second mortgage to do it, if that's what we decide to do.

>

> Liz

>

> On Apr 26, 2006, at 5:41 AM, tsbthatsme wrote:

>

>> ---Liz, thanks. I looked at their website. It looks wonderful. I

>> wish I could afford to send him there. Thanks for your reply. Do you

>> have any idea how much it costs yearly?

>> Toni

>> In , Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:

>>>

>>> Toni,

>>> There is a school in Connecticut called The Learning Clinic that

>>> teaches kids academics in addition to life skills. They have a

>> four

>>> step residential care program. They take some school district

>> funding.

>>> (I know they take California.) It starts out as residential care,

>> then

>>> becomes assisted living, and ends up as community living. There's

>>> another intermediary step in there somewhere. Website is

>>> www.thelearningclinic.org We're considering this for next

>> year.

>>>

>>> Liz

>>>

>>> On Apr 25, 2006, at 10:02 AM, tsbthatsme wrote:

>>>

>>>> My sons (17 yo twins) go to a private school and have been since

>> we

>>>> moved to this rural area of Ga since 6 th grade. I am like

>> someone

>>>> else that posted and am angry that nobody noticed anything 'was

>>>> wrong' before last year. I read all the great programs their kids

>>>> are getting and now I feel so bad because my kids didn't/aren't

>>>> getting any of that. The county finally started testing them last

>>>> month after I requested testing last Sept or Oct. The boys are

>>>> failing at least 1 class each. n has depression and we

>> can't

>>>> get his meds right. He missed 4 days of school last week and

>> didn't

>>>> go again today. There is no way to force a 17 yo to get out of

>> bed

>>>> and get dressed to go to school. He woke me up at 3:15 am this

>>>> morning to inform me that he just couldn't go to school again

>> today.

>>>> I am at my wits end as well. We have an appt with his

>> pyschiatrist

>>>> this Thurs. When we get in there n always tells him

>> everything

>>>> is 'fine' and I say 'No it isn't you go to school, come home and

>> go

>>>> to bed and miss at least 1 day a week of school.' n told me

>>>> this am that he hasn't told the dr how desperate he is and

>> depressed

>>>> because he is afraid the dr will 'send him somewhere'. The dr

>>>> started him on risperdal the end of March and I really think it

>> has

>>>> helped his anger and agression but B is tired of trying all this

>> med

>>>> and none of it helping. I tried to tell him he needs to give

>> them at

>>>> least 6 weeks to start working. But in my own mind I'm like when

>> are

>>>> we going to find SOMETHING to help with this darn depression.I

>> think

>>>> it has helped some though because before when I have mentioned

>> that

>>>> maybe he needs to go to a residential place he has put a knife to

>>>> his stomach, screaming at the top of his lungs using the " F " word

>>>> and the GD word (both of which I HATE)with veins bulging in his

>> neck

>>>> that he will die if I threaten him again. I have looked up Autism

>>>> support groups in the area and there aren't any. I don't know

>> where

>>>> or what to do to help him and his brother. They don't drive, I

>> have

>>>> to remind them to brush their teeth , they will lie and say they

>>>> have already brushed them, they take a shower and " forget " to

>> bathe

>>>> and wash their hair, I have to remind them/get out their meds

>> and I

>>>> wonder how in the world are they going to make it without me? I

>>>> have had such a bad last year that I have tried to pack my bags

>> and

>>>> just get out of here. n and I were having a fight, he's

>>>> threatening me, himself and hid my keys and threw my clothes on

>> the

>>>> floor (that I was packing) and told me I was not leaving this

>> Fing

>>>> house. I was just going to go to my cousins house for a day or

>> two

>>>> and call my mom after I was out of the house since he threw the

>>>> phone in the house across the room and wouldn't let me get to

>> it. He

>>>> was guarding it holding his knife to his stomach. I guess what I

>> am

>>>> doing is just venting and wondering " Are we ever going to have

>> just

>>>> one NORMAL week/day? I walk on egg shells trying not to set him

>> off

>>>> and his brother who is also aspie but has OCD instead of

>> depression

>>>> sees that n pretty much gets to do what he wants or else he

>>>> will 'go off'. And sadly Noah is right. I just want peace,

>> normalcy,

>>>> kids that go to school everyday and a feeling that I am in

>> control

>>>> of my own home when my husband is out of town. I don't know where

>>>> to " go " to get the help that n especially needs. It is SO

>>>> heart breaking to hear your child say that he is tired of living,

>>>> has never in his life been happy and doesn't want to feel this

>> way

>>>> anymore. AND I don't know when it is really depression and when

>> it

>>>> is that he just hates school and doesn't want to go.I don't

>>>> understand how he can be SO depressed that he can't go to school

>> yet

>>>> he can play computer games cause they 'take his mind off

>>>> everything', why can't he go to school if he can play computer

>>>> games? And if I take the games away from him he will just stay in

>>>> bed until I force him to get up (after umpteen trips downstairs,

>> at

>>>> least I'm exercising running up and down the steps). He has

>> stayed

>>>> in bed for 3 or 4 days at a time just getting up to use the

>> bathroom

>>>> and eat when I make him when I have taken away the games. Which

>> is

>>>> worse, him staying in bed totally or getting up and playing games

>>>> and at least interacting with us? I don't know! I don't feel

>> like I

>>>> know much of anything these days. It is very encouraging to read

>>>> about Connie's son and what he has accomplished but my kids don't

>>>> care if they succeed in school or not. I don't know, my husband

>> and

>>>> I used to want them to get A's and B's now we just want them

>>>> to 'pass'. And for n to just *go* to school and scrape by.

>>>> What is so absolutely frustrating to us is that when they took

>> the

>>>> SAT earlier this year they scored 1st and 2nd highest in their

>> class

>>>> at school.And yet, n has a 30 in geometry and Noah has a

>> 40!

>>>> That's because they dont' do aaaany homework or study for

>>>> tests.

>>>> Is there anywhere for older kids to go that can teach them how

>> to

>>>> cope with day to day living? My husband's 30 yo son (bipolar)

>> OD'd

>>>> in Nov, he works for an airline that has gone bankrupt and took a

>>>> 60,000 paycut, and now is having to go to school in Minneapolis

>> for

>>>> training on another airplane because of downsizing.I'm afraid he

>> is

>>>> going to have a heart attack from the stress. He hates to call

>> home

>>>> because he knows it's always going to be 'bad news' which I hate

>> to

>>>> tell him whats going on to 'pile on' to his already stressed out

>>>> life. I am having heart stopping/ running away and can't sleep

>>>> myself. Maybe the four of us can get a family rate in a mental

>>>> hospital.;) I don't know what I am asking for from ya'll except

>>>> maybe some ideas as to what we can do to help the boys survive

>>>> without us. Where to get help for 'life skills' etc. I am so

>>>> terribly sorry for ranting and raving, I just feel so hopeless,

>>>> helpless, inadequate, uninformed, worried, stressed, etc. I'm

>> sure

>>>> you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in this

>>>> rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to say

>>>> rant... Thanks Toni

>>>>

>>>>

>>>>

>>>>

>>>>

>>>>

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Posted
Posted

Hi again Toni,

This first contact is for an Ombudsman. Traditionally,

they assist in advocating for senior's rights,

but in many states, they have started advocating for children with

disabilities, worth checking out.

Disability Connections

170 College Street

Macon, GA 31201

PH: 912-743-9801 (V); TTY users call Ga. Relay at 800-255-0135

Serving: Baldwin, Bibb, Crawford, Houston, Jasper, , Monroe,

Peach, Putnam, Twiggs, and Wilkinson

This link has more info on specific locations:

http://www.thegao.org/other.htm

-----------------------------------------------------

This one is a school program, not much info on the link, but you can

call =)

Coastal Academy Psychoeducational Center PK-12

http://www.liberty.k12.ga.us/alternative.htm

---------------------------------------------

Self explanatory:

http://www.aadd.org/

The Mission of Atlanta Alliance on Developmental Disabilities is to

continually improve

the quality of living for persons and families with challenging life

cirumstances and

to provide related support, advocacy, prevention and educational

services.

----------------------------------------------------------

This one looks promising!

***THE FRAZER CENTER exists to maximize the potential of individuals

with disabilities

by providing quality comprehensive individual, family and community

based services,

research and training, all on a sound financial budget.

http://www.thefrazercenter.org/

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Hope at least one of these helps, I was bored today, hope you don't

mind my research =)

Theresa

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Posted
Posted

Dear Toni,

I think you are getting some good advice from the caring people in

this group about seeking help. My two cents are a little different.

It sounds as if both you and your sons, or at least n, are

overwhelmed. Yes, you all need help, but I think you also need to

simplify your lives in order to be able to begin changing the

behavioral dynamic in the house. This begins with a re-evaluation of

priorities and I'm going to suggest something that might sound very

strange here: school is not very important for your boys right now.

Their success is going to depend upon their behavioral maturity and

independence. They're both smart -- they can ALWAYS go back to school

and get A's if they are motivated. I'm not saying that you should

definitely take them out, but that you should consider the school

environment (including an alternate school environment) to be

dispensable in retaking control of your house and your boys. They

should know this, too -- that your priority is their growth and

ultimate happiness, not their geometry grades.

When n, or you, or anyone, loses control of a task, or control

of life by extension, the first thing is to make the task smaller.

Break it into pieces and pick the most important, simple ones first.

A CBT family psychologist can help you with this.

Right now your boys aren't mature enough to understand that you are in

charge. The MOST common mistake that we see at the Asperger Society

with parents and behavioral modification is that there is " nothing

left to punish with. " Or, what IS left -- video games in your case, is

too blunt a tool. Behavioral modification, regardless of the level of

nuance, always comes down to reward and punishment. The trick is to

make EVERYTHING a reward, so that the punishments all make logical

sense as discrete and reversible failures to earn the reward at that

time. Everything is earned but the barest necessities of survival.

The day is filled with small tasks that earn small rewards, especially

including praise. Manners is a prime task, because it represents

self-control: it makes NO SENSE for your son to curse at you and then

go to school, because nothing he learns at school will save him in his

future from the lack of self-control represented by the cursing.

There are two ways to do this. One is to take away everything at once

and provide the children with a clear, detailed, written system

explaining their behavioral responsibilities and the rewards. This

way is guaranteed to cause an explosion, but that may be OK if you are

prepared for it. The second way is to take away things and privileges

your sons take for granted one at a time, reaching the same state as

method #1 but over a period of months. As in method #1, the children

need to know from the beginning what will be happening and why.

Honesty is much more effective here than false authority. For

example, you can tell them that the failure is YOURS and that the

change is not a punishment but what you need to do to start over as

the mother they need.

This is not a prescription. All of this needs to be executed in the

context of your family and the information specific to your situation.

I am not suggesting any drastic changes without the guidance of a

professional who knows your family. What I am saying is that " walking

on eggshells " with your own child is exacly the wrong message --

telling him that he is in control and what he is doing is OK, and that

changing that message is going to take a BIG change.

Lastly, I want to add that depression is a serious danger, and should

be closely monitored by a professional. Aggression (including

cursing) is as much a sign of clinical depression in adolescents as

staying in bed. In this email I have suggested a course of action,

with professional help, that requires picking a fight with your

children. Picking a fight with a depressed child is dangerous unless

you are prepared and know EXACTLY how you are going to manage the

threats that will result.

Sincerely and Good Luck,

Mayshar

jmayshar@...

http://www.aspergersociety.com

P.S. I am giving a presentation soon in California with the founders

of the Asperger Society on anger management in Asperger's. This email

has been an opportunity for me to work out some of my thoughts before

beginning work on my notes for that presentation, and so I thank you

for the opportunity. In a way, this ulterior motive of mine has led

me to include a lot that might detract from what should be a

supportive and calming message, the one I tried to convey at the

beginning: Relax about school. Your instincts are good -- you said

you HATED the cursing, but you didn't say you hated the grades, so you

already know in your heart what your boys need the most. The next

steps are to get help, and to let yourself off the hook for school at

this point.

>

> My sons (17 yo twins) go to a private school and have been since we

> moved to this rural area of Ga since 6 th grade. I am like someone

> else that posted and am angry that nobody noticed anything 'was

> wrong' before last year. I read all the great programs their kids

> are getting and now I feel so bad because my kids didn't/aren't

> getting any of that. The county finally started testing them last

> month after I requested testing last Sept or Oct. The boys are

> failing at least 1 class each. n has depression and we can't

> get his meds right. He missed 4 days of school last week and didn't

> go again today. There is no way to force a 17 yo to get out of bed

> and get dressed to go to school. He woke me up at 3:15 am this

> morning to inform me that he just couldn't go to school again today.

> I am at my wits end as well. We have an appt with his pyschiatrist

> this Thurs. When we get in there n always tells him everything

> is 'fine' and I say 'No it isn't you go to school, come home and go

> to bed and miss at least 1 day a week of school.' n told me

> this am that he hasn't told the dr how desperate he is and depressed

> because he is afraid the dr will 'send him somewhere'. The dr

> started him on risperdal the end of March and I really think it has

> helped his anger and agression but B is tired of trying all this med

> and none of it helping. I tried to tell him he needs to give them at

> least 6 weeks to start working. But in my own mind I'm like when are

> we going to find SOMETHING to help with this darn depression.I think

> it has helped some though because before when I have mentioned that

> maybe he needs to go to a residential place he has put a knife to

> his stomach, screaming at the top of his lungs using the " F " word

> and the GD word (both of which I HATE)with veins bulging in his neck

> that he will die if I threaten him again. I have looked up Autism

> support groups in the area and there aren't any. I don't know where

> or what to do to help him and his brother. They don't drive, I have

> to remind them to brush their teeth , they will lie and say they

> have already brushed them, they take a shower and " forget " to bathe

> and wash their hair, I have to remind them/get out their meds and I

> wonder how in the world are they going to make it without me? I

> have had such a bad last year that I have tried to pack my bags and

> just get out of here. n and I were having a fight, he's

> threatening me, himself and hid my keys and threw my clothes on the

> floor (that I was packing) and told me I was not leaving this Fing

> house. I was just going to go to my cousins house for a day or two

> and call my mom after I was out of the house since he threw the

> phone in the house across the room and wouldn't let me get to it. He

> was guarding it holding his knife to his stomach. I guess what I am

> doing is just venting and wondering " Are we ever going to have just

> one NORMAL week/day? I walk on egg shells trying not to set him off

> and his brother who is also aspie but has OCD instead of depression

> sees that n pretty much gets to do what he wants or else he

> will 'go off'. And sadly Noah is right. I just want peace, normalcy,

> kids that go to school everyday and a feeling that I am in control

> of my own home when my husband is out of town. I don't know where

> to " go " to get the help that n especially needs. It is SO

> heart breaking to hear your child say that he is tired of living,

> has never in his life been happy and doesn't want to feel this way

> anymore. AND I don't know when it is really depression and when it

> is that he just hates school and doesn't want to go.I don't

> understand how he can be SO depressed that he can't go to school yet

> he can play computer games cause they 'take his mind off

> everything', why can't he go to school if he can play computer

> games? And if I take the games away from him he will just stay in

> bed until I force him to get up (after umpteen trips downstairs, at

> least I'm exercising running up and down the steps). He has stayed

> in bed for 3 or 4 days at a time just getting up to use the bathroom

> and eat when I make him when I have taken away the games. Which is

> worse, him staying in bed totally or getting up and playing games

> and at least interacting with us? I don't know! I don't feel like I

> know much of anything these days. It is very encouraging to read

> about Connie's son and what he has accomplished but my kids don't

> care if they succeed in school or not. I don't know, my husband and

> I used to want them to get A's and B's now we just want them

> to 'pass'. And for n to just *go* to school and scrape by.

> What is so absolutely frustrating to us is that when they took the

> SAT earlier this year they scored 1st and 2nd highest in their class

> at school.And yet, n has a 30 in geometry and Noah has a 40!

> That's because they dont' do aaaany homework or study for

> tests.

> Is there anywhere for older kids to go that can teach them how to

> cope with day to day living? My husband's 30 yo son (bipolar) OD'd

> in Nov, he works for an airline that has gone bankrupt and took a

> 60,000 paycut, and now is having to go to school in Minneapolis for

> training on another airplane because of downsizing.I'm afraid he is

> going to have a heart attack from the stress. He hates to call home

> because he knows it's always going to be 'bad news' which I hate to

> tell him whats going on to 'pile on' to his already stressed out

> life. I am having heart stopping/ running away and can't sleep

> myself. Maybe the four of us can get a family rate in a mental

> hospital.;) I don't know what I am asking for from ya'll except

> maybe some ideas as to what we can do to help the boys survive

> without us. Where to get help for 'life skills' etc. I am so

> terribly sorry for ranting and raving, I just feel so hopeless,

> helpless, inadequate, uninformed, worried, stressed, etc. I'm sure

> you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in this

> rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to say

> rant... Thanks Toni

>

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Posted
Posted

---Theresa !!! God Bless you for your help. I appreciate it SO much.

I haven't been on the computer for a couple of days because I have

been busy on the phone and taking n back to the dr for med

changes (again). BUT your support led me to call the Georgia

Advocacy Center and they are sending me a pack of info and in turn

hooked me up with a man that is the vice president of the Ga chapter

of the Autism Society of America. He has aspergers and I talked to

him on the phone for about 45 minutes and they are having a walk in

Atlanta next weekend and he wants to meet the kids. So my mom and I

are going to Atlanta next weekend and meet him (the kids said they

aren't going.. so far. I'm going to keep asking them) and go out to

dinner. Noah said that you know, mom, being out there with all those

people is not 'my thing'. I have some hope now that I can find some

places/people that can help me navigate through the fights ahead

with the boys and their education! So Thank you and the rest of you

loving people that have made suggestions and listened to my rants.

You 'guys' are the GREATEST!!! Toni PS mind your

research? Heck NO, I want to HUG

you!!!

In , " disorderlybehavior "

<disorderlybehavior@...> wrote:

>

> Hi again Toni,

> This first contact is for an Ombudsman. Traditionally,

> they assist in advocating for senior's rights,

> but in many states, they have started advocating for children

with

> disabilities, worth checking out.

>

> Disability Connections

> 170 College Street

> Macon, GA 31201

>

> PH: 912-743-9801 (V); TTY users call Ga. Relay at 800-255-0135

>

> Serving: Baldwin, Bibb, Crawford, Houston, Jasper, , Monroe,

> Peach, Putnam, Twiggs, and Wilkinson

>

> This link has more info on specific locations:

>

> http://www.thegao.org/other.htm

>

> -----------------------------------------------------

> This one is a school program, not much info on the link, but you

can

> call =)

>

> Coastal Academy Psychoeducational Center PK-12

>

> http://www.liberty.k12.ga.us/alternative.htm

>

> ---------------------------------------------

> Self explanatory:

>

> http://www.aadd.org/

>

> The Mission of Atlanta Alliance on Developmental Disabilities is

to

> continually improve

> the quality of living for persons and families with challenging

life

> cirumstances and

> to provide related support, advocacy, prevention and educational

> services.

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------

> This one looks promising!

>

> ***THE FRAZER CENTER exists to maximize the potential of

individuals

> with disabilities

> by providing quality comprehensive individual, family and

community

> based services,

> research and training, all on a sound financial budget.

>

> http://www.thefrazercenter.org/

>

> -----------------------------------------------------------------

>

> Hope at least one of these helps, I was bored today, hope you

don't

> mind my research =)

>

> Theresa

>

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Posted
Posted

--Thank you, athan. What you say makes perfect sense. I didn't

know there were behavioral psychologists. I will try and find one as

I think this is exactly what we might need. I'm so glad I could

provide you with the opportunity to work out your thoughts on your

presentation :)My husband and I both find your suggestions very

helpful. This is the kind of thing I'm trying to find out. Where and

WHo to get help from.

Toni

- In , " jmayshar "

<jmayshar@...> wrote:

>

> Dear Toni,

>

> I think you are getting some good advice from the caring people in

> this group about seeking help. My two cents are a little

different.

>

> It sounds as if both you and your sons, or at least n, are

> overwhelmed. Yes, you all need help, but I think you also need to

> simplify your lives in order to be able to begin changing the

> behavioral dynamic in the house. This begins with a re-evaluation

of

> priorities and I'm going to suggest something that might sound very

> strange here: school is not very important for your boys right now.

>

> Their success is going to depend upon their behavioral maturity and

> independence. They're both smart -- they can ALWAYS go back to

school

> and get A's if they are motivated. I'm not saying that you should

> definitely take them out, but that you should consider the school

> environment (including an alternate school environment) to be

> dispensable in retaking control of your house and your boys. They

> should know this, too -- that your priority is their growth and

> ultimate happiness, not their geometry grades.

>

> When n, or you, or anyone, loses control of a task, or

control

> of life by extension, the first thing is to make the task smaller.

> Break it into pieces and pick the most important, simple ones

first.

> A CBT family psychologist can help you with this.

>

> Right now your boys aren't mature enough to understand that you

are in

> charge. The MOST common mistake that we see at the Asperger

Society

> with parents and behavioral modification is that there is " nothing

> left to punish with. " Or, what IS left -- video games in your

case, is

> too blunt a tool. Behavioral modification, regardless of the

level of

> nuance, always comes down to reward and punishment. The trick is

to

> make EVERYTHING a reward, so that the punishments all make logical

> sense as discrete and reversible failures to earn the reward at

that

> time. Everything is earned but the barest necessities of

survival.

> The day is filled with small tasks that earn small rewards,

especially

> including praise. Manners is a prime task, because it represents

> self-control: it makes NO SENSE for your son to curse at you and

then

> go to school, because nothing he learns at school will save him in

his

> future from the lack of self-control represented by the cursing.

>

> There are two ways to do this. One is to take away everything at

once

> and provide the children with a clear, detailed, written system

> explaining their behavioral responsibilities and the rewards. This

> way is guaranteed to cause an explosion, but that may be OK if you

are

> prepared for it. The second way is to take away things and

privileges

> your sons take for granted one at a time, reaching the same state

as

> method #1 but over a period of months. As in method #1, the

children

> need to know from the beginning what will be happening and why.

> Honesty is much more effective here than false authority. For

> example, you can tell them that the failure is YOURS and that the

> change is not a punishment but what you need to do to start over as

> the mother they need.

>

> This is not a prescription. All of this needs to be executed in

the

> context of your family and the information specific to your

situation.

> I am not suggesting any drastic changes without the guidance of a

> professional who knows your family. What I am saying is

that " walking

> on eggshells " with your own child is exacly the wrong message --

> telling him that he is in control and what he is doing is OK, and

that

> changing that message is going to take a BIG change.

>

> Lastly, I want to add that depression is a serious danger, and

should

> be closely monitored by a professional. Aggression (including

> cursing) is as much a sign of clinical depression in adolescents as

> staying in bed. In this email I have suggested a course of action,

> with professional help, that requires picking a fight with your

> children. Picking a fight with a depressed child is dangerous

unless

> you are prepared and know EXACTLY how you are going to manage the

> threats that will result.

>

> Sincerely and Good Luck,

>

> Mayshar

> jmayshar@...

> http://www.aspergersociety.com

>

> P.S. I am giving a presentation soon in California with the

founders

> of the Asperger Society on anger management in Asperger's. This

email

> has been an opportunity for me to work out some of my thoughts

before

> beginning work on my notes for that presentation, and so I thank

you

> for the opportunity. In a way, this ulterior motive of mine has

led

> me to include a lot that might detract from what should be a

> supportive and calming message, the one I tried to convey at the

> beginning: Relax about school. Your instincts are good -- you

said

> you HATED the cursing, but you didn't say you hated the grades, so

you

> already know in your heart what your boys need the most. The next

> steps are to get help, and to let yourself off the hook for school

at

> this point.

>

>

>

> >

> > My sons (17 yo twins) go to a private school and have been since

we

> > moved to this rural area of Ga since 6 th grade. I am like

someone

> > else that posted and am angry that nobody noticed anything 'was

> > wrong' before last year. I read all the great programs their

kids

> > are getting and now I feel so bad because my kids didn't/aren't

> > getting any of that. The county finally started testing them

last

> > month after I requested testing last Sept or Oct. The boys are

> > failing at least 1 class each. n has depression and we

can't

> > get his meds right. He missed 4 days of school last week and

didn't

> > go again today. There is no way to force a 17 yo to get out of

bed

> > and get dressed to go to school. He woke me up at 3:15 am this

> > morning to inform me that he just couldn't go to school again

today.

> > I am at my wits end as well. We have an appt with his

pyschiatrist

> > this Thurs. When we get in there n always tells him

everything

> > is 'fine' and I say 'No it isn't you go to school, come home and

go

> > to bed and miss at least 1 day a week of school.' n told

me

> > this am that he hasn't told the dr how desperate he is and

depressed

> > because he is afraid the dr will 'send him somewhere'. The dr

> > started him on risperdal the end of March and I really think it

has

> > helped his anger and agression but B is tired of trying all this

med

> > and none of it helping. I tried to tell him he needs to give

them at

> > least 6 weeks to start working. But in my own mind I'm like when

are

> > we going to find SOMETHING to help with this darn depression.I

think

> > it has helped some though because before when I have mentioned

that

> > maybe he needs to go to a residential place he has put a knife

to

> > his stomach, screaming at the top of his lungs using the " F "

word

> > and the GD word (both of which I HATE)with veins bulging in his

neck

> > that he will die if I threaten him again. I have looked up

Autism

> > support groups in the area and there aren't any. I don't know

where

> > or what to do to help him and his brother. They don't drive, I

have

> > to remind them to brush their teeth , they will lie and say they

> > have already brushed them, they take a shower and " forget " to

bathe

> > and wash their hair, I have to remind them/get out their meds

and I

> > wonder how in the world are they going to make it without me? I

> > have had such a bad last year that I have tried to pack my bags

and

> > just get out of here. n and I were having a fight, he's

> > threatening me, himself and hid my keys and threw my clothes on

the

> > floor (that I was packing) and told me I was not leaving this

Fing

> > house. I was just going to go to my cousins house for a day or

two

> > and call my mom after I was out of the house since he threw the

> > phone in the house across the room and wouldn't let me get to

it. He

> > was guarding it holding his knife to his stomach. I guess what I

am

> > doing is just venting and wondering " Are we ever going to have

just

> > one NORMAL week/day? I walk on egg shells trying not to set him

off

> > and his brother who is also aspie but has OCD instead of

depression

> > sees that n pretty much gets to do what he wants or else

he

> > will 'go off'. And sadly Noah is right. I just want peace,

normalcy,

> > kids that go to school everyday and a feeling that I am in

control

> > of my own home when my husband is out of town. I don't know

where

> > to " go " to get the help that n especially needs. It is SO

> > heart breaking to hear your child say that he is tired of

living,

> > has never in his life been happy and doesn't want to feel this

way

> > anymore. AND I don't know when it is really depression and when

it

> > is that he just hates school and doesn't want to go.I don't

> > understand how he can be SO depressed that he can't go to school

yet

> > he can play computer games cause they 'take his mind off

> > everything', why can't he go to school if he can play computer

> > games? And if I take the games away from him he will just stay

in

> > bed until I force him to get up (after umpteen trips downstairs,

at

> > least I'm exercising running up and down the steps). He has

stayed

> > in bed for 3 or 4 days at a time just getting up to use the

bathroom

> > and eat when I make him when I have taken away the games. Which

is

> > worse, him staying in bed totally or getting up and playing

games

> > and at least interacting with us? I don't know! I don't feel

like I

> > know much of anything these days. It is very encouraging to read

> > about Connie's son and what he has accomplished but my kids

don't

> > care if they succeed in school or not. I don't know, my husband

and

> > I used to want them to get A's and B's now we just want them

> > to 'pass'. And for n to just *go* to school and scrape by.

> > What is so absolutely frustrating to us is that when they took

the

> > SAT earlier this year they scored 1st and 2nd highest in their

class

> > at school.And yet, n has a 30 in geometry and Noah has a

40!

> > That's because they dont' do aaaany homework or study for

> >

tests.

> > Is there anywhere for older kids to go that can teach them how

to

> > cope with day to day living? My husband's 30 yo son (bipolar)

OD'd

> > in Nov, he works for an airline that has gone bankrupt and took

a

> > 60,000 paycut, and now is having to go to school in Minneapolis

for

> > training on another airplane because of downsizing.I'm afraid he

is

> > going to have a heart attack from the stress. He hates to call

home

> > because he knows it's always going to be 'bad news' which I hate

to

> > tell him whats going on to 'pile on' to his already stressed out

> > life. I am having heart stopping/ running away and can't sleep

> > myself. Maybe the four of us can get a family rate in a mental

> > hospital.;) I don't know what I am asking for from ya'll except

> > maybe some ideas as to what we can do to help the boys survive

> > without us. Where to get help for 'life skills' etc. I am so

> > terribly sorry for ranting and raving, I just feel so hopeless,

> > helpless, inadequate, uninformed, worried, stressed, etc. I'm

sure

> > you get the picture.If you have managed to get this far in this

> > rambling, not making any sense, explaining what I'm trying to

say

> > rant... Thanks Toni

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

In Canada, the Office of the Ombudsman definitely will look at issues

such as ensuring the rights of the disabled are met. However, I would

recommend a separate Government Office as the best source for

information called the Child Advocate. They have the power to look at

things objectively and help make decisions based upon what the CHILD

needs. That is their sole focus, the child. Usually, you can access

them by typing into your search engine, " Government of (whatever

province/state you reside in.) "

>

> Hi again Toni,

> This first contact is for an Ombudsman. Traditionally,

> they assist in advocating for senior's rights,

> but in many states, they have started advocating for children with

> disabilities, worth checking out.

>

> Disability Connections

> 170 College Street

> Macon, GA 31201

>

> PH: 912-743-9801 (V); TTY users call Ga. Relay at 800-255-0135

>

> Serving: Baldwin, Bibb, Crawford, Houston, Jasper, , Monroe,

> Peach, Putnam, Twiggs, and Wilkinson

>

> This link has more info on specific locations:

>

> http://www.thegao.org/other.htm

>

> -----------------------------------------------------

> This one is a school program, not much info on the link, but you

can

> call =)

>

> Coastal Academy Psychoeducational Center PK-12

>

> http://www.liberty.k12.ga.us/alternative.htm

>

> ---------------------------------------------

> Self explanatory:

>

> http://www.aadd.org/

>

> The Mission of Atlanta Alliance on Developmental Disabilities is to

> continually improve

> the quality of living for persons and families with challenging

life

> cirumstances and

> to provide related support, advocacy, prevention and educational

> services.

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------

> This one looks promising!

>

> ***THE FRAZER CENTER exists to maximize the potential of

individuals

> with disabilities

> by providing quality comprehensive individual, family and community

> based services,

> research and training, all on a sound financial budget.

>

> http://www.thefrazercenter.org/

>

> -----------------------------------------------------------------

>

> Hope at least one of these helps, I was bored today, hope you don't

> mind my research =)

>

> Theresa

>

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Posted
Posted

Theresa... God works in mysterious ways... I called this woman who lead

me to the advocacy group I mentioned in another post. Darlene is

the MOTHER of my kids friend at their school. Her son had mentioned that

he knew the boys and talked about what awesome, unique individuals they

were but that he had never mentioned anything about them having

'problems'. I am amazed and want to thank you so much. I think we are on

the road to getting some help and I feel hopeful for the first time in a

LONG time! God Bless you... Toni

disorderlybehavior wrote:

>

>

> Toni,

> Did a little research on your area. The link (you'll have to copy and

> paste the address) at the bottom of this post is GA Mental Health

> Services; it also provides links for services in your area. Good luck

> again =)

>

> Theresa

>

> Name: Darlene

> Title: Social Services Supervisor

> Organization: Putnam County DFCS

> Address: P.O. Box 3670, Eatonton, GA. 31024

> Fax: 706-485-0073

>

>

> Children With Special Needs

> (404) 657-2726

>

>

> http://mhddad.dhr.georgia.gov/portal/site/DHR-

> MHDDAD/menuitem.8d349b4fc181e44b50c8798dd03036a0/?

> vgnextoid=a97a934c1805ff00VgnVCM100000bf01010aRCRD

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

---Thank you Velvet. I did contact the Ga Advocacy Center and I feel

this is leading me to find some

help!! In

, " Velvet " <johnvel@...> wrote:

>

> In Canada, the Office of the Ombudsman definitely will look at

issues

> such as ensuring the rights of the disabled are met. However, I

would

> recommend a separate Government Office as the best source for

> information called the Child Advocate. They have the power to look

at

> things objectively and help make decisions based upon what the

CHILD

> needs. That is their sole focus, the child. Usually, you can

access

> them by typing into your search engine, " Government of (whatever

> province/state you reside in.) "

>

>

> >

> > Hi again Toni,

> > This first contact is for an Ombudsman. Traditionally,

> > they assist in advocating for senior's rights,

> > but in many states, they have started advocating for children

with

> > disabilities, worth checking out.

> >

> > Disability Connections

> > 170 College Street

> > Macon, GA 31201

> >

> > PH: 912-743-9801 (V); TTY users call Ga. Relay at 800-255-0135

> >

> > Serving: Baldwin, Bibb, Crawford, Houston, Jasper, ,

Monroe,

> > Peach, Putnam, Twiggs, and Wilkinson

> >

> > This link has more info on specific locations:

> >

> > http://www.thegao.org/other.htm

> >

> > -----------------------------------------------------

> > This one is a school program, not much info on the link, but you

> can

> > call =)

> >

> > Coastal Academy Psychoeducational Center PK-12

> >

> > http://www.liberty.k12.ga.us/alternative.htm

> >

> > ---------------------------------------------

> > Self explanatory:

> >

> > http://www.aadd.org/

> >

> > The Mission of Atlanta Alliance on Developmental Disabilities is

to

> > continually improve

> > the quality of living for persons and families with challenging

> life

> > cirumstances and

> > to provide related support, advocacy, prevention and educational

> > services.

> >

> > ----------------------------------------------------------

> > This one looks promising!

> >

> > ***THE FRAZER CENTER exists to maximize the potential of

> individuals

> > with disabilities

> > by providing quality comprehensive individual, family and

community

> > based services,

> > research and training, all on a sound financial budget.

> >

> > http://www.thefrazercenter.org/

> >

> > -----------------------------------------------------------------

> >

> > Hope at least one of these helps, I was bored today, hope you

don't

> > mind my research =)

> >

> > Theresa

> >

>

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