Re: Fathers

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry.  Wouldn't it be nice to know if he too is infected.  It would

explain so much.

hugs,

Elaine

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 7:53:25 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] fathers

 

I agree with you - many in the household go undiagnosed.......and how many kids

out there are undiagnosed pumped up with meds for all the symptoms......and all

the harsh words they must have to endure daily.

I have made my husband a few appointments to our llmd in the past......always an

excuse not to go - but did go once with the girls and I.....he tells me that he

doesn't have time to be sick like us...........he has many of the

symptoms......and the bart rage......but you cant force him into

anything.......my guess is that he also suffers from this but you can lead a

horse to water but you cant make them drink.......no one has a right to abuse

anyone....and then to abuse someone who cant just get up and leave is

horrid.......my girls and I hear all the time time that we are welcome to leave

at any time........just said to us last night that he is sick of living like

this....like its our choice to be sick and not be working or going to

school...........none of this is fair - to anyone.......if it would make him

happy I wish he would just walk away.....dont know how we would survive but when

is the point where enough is enough.......its like he only likes us if we are

" normal " or can do things.....his parents are the same way - I feel they look

down on us because we are ill....what a shame.....why cant people that love

eachother just understand.......its a lonely world but thank God I have you guys

 

I also have my mother and step-father and my father....God is good

thanks for all your thoughts.......its just one more of those things we have to

endure with this disease.........

Bless you - Diane

________________________________

From: Kaethe <batikquilt@...>

Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 9:27:54 AM

Subject: Re:[ ] fathers

 

,

Thank you so much for your awesome letter. Your explanation was brilliant and

it will help so many to read that. Diane and Tiffanie, I am wondering....is it

possible your husbands have Lyme? It's stressful enough to have sick children

whether you are the mom or the dad. But if you are ill yourself, Diane as you

well must know, the stress could be unbearable. I wonder how many of the

members of our Lyme households out there are walking around undiagnosed.

The best to everyone out there who is ill, and may your healing go well,

Kaethe

__________________________________________________________

Never miss an email again!

Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives.

http://tools.search./toolbar/features/mail/

[Guest guest]

excellent discussion....and I have another issue, my husband's first language is

not English so he can not really grasp all the research.  Now that he has seen

the level of commitment from some docs he is appalled.  All the best, Dolores

>

> I need to be with parents that understand .... my husband just told my

> 12 yr daughter that's he is taking her to school in the morning,and

> she has to go....this poor girl has only been able to make it about

> five days this school year...I am so sick of living with someone who

> refuses to understand .... wish we could pack up and leave... ugggg.

> Sorry....bless you all!!

> Diane

>

>

[Guest guest]

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a

biology teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started

back last week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5

months for cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written

in that he would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health

issues. I have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had

in 3 years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

Kari,

I had to laugh when I read " I married an engineer. " 2 of my brothers are

engineers and we say that all the time. One has a son with diabetes and

his wife has given him the same type of tasks. We all need to find our

spouses strengths and play to them. I applaud you as you have done that.

And it does help them be more empathetic when they can " see " our kids at

their worst and also be a part of things. It helps when they can be

involved. It is like they take ownership of the situation too and

responsibility for doing what they can to get through it. I loved the

things you did to include him.

Also congrats on getting through to the teachers. We are beyond those

years with my youngest who is in college, but they were full of ups and

downs. I always cheered when we go them to understand. An educational

psychologist told us to use the term Traumatic Brain Injury as her brain

functioned just like her TBI patients and responded the same. Dr. J

wrote that as a dx induced by Lyme. Giving them something else to focus

on helped. She also was diagnosed with a mitochondrial disease and we

used that to explain the low energy. Whatever you can use to make them

understand this is REAL.

Good luck to all,

Hugs

On 2/16/2011 6:20 PM, ktdommer wrote:

>

> I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with

> chronic illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed

> overnight. I have had to lower my expectations of my husband. He just

> can't get there emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him

> busy doing what he can do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a

> smoothie, play cards, get the best price on vitamins and research

> herbs etc... My husband had to start working from home so he got to

> see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time. That helped

> his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion company

> drop offs.

> We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family

> dynamics can someday be back to normal.

> On a different note but in a response to another post about it would

> be easier if our children had cancer and I have thought that many

> times. I started using those words with the school. Last year when the

> wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks of work, I asked them what they would

> do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and the amount of work was less

> that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a biology teacher is

> marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back last

> week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5

> months for cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was

> written in that he would not be docked due to laste assignments

> resulting from health issues. I have to say thought that today was the

> best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3 years.

> I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

> Thinking of you all,

> Kari

>

>

[Guest guest]

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well.  This being my daughter's first year in middle school i didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan).  At first the school hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment.  I used her " extreme " anxiety as

the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " .   I had to find

words the school would understand.  The counselor was great.  Even changed

some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes.  Then in oct E

did get sick and missed a month of school.  The 504 plan went into effect.  It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer.  

Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have suffered. 

There was no way she could have made up all that work.  Since the teachers were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great.  Finally after many e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board.  Next year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

 

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

I see a recurring theme in so many of these emails – that a great many of

the kids suffer from anxiety. Is there a known connection with Lyme and

anxiety? We are now finally seeing physical improvements in my son, but his

anxiety is immovable and no drug seems to help! I can’t even get him to go

to school most days. Thank you for any insight.

*From:* [mailto:

] *On Behalf Of *Mildred Reagle

*Sent:* Thursday, February 17, 2011 8:46 AM

*To:*

*Subject:* Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well. This being my daughter's first year in middle school i

didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that

we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan). At first the school

hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment. I used her " extreme " anxiety as

the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " . I had to

find

words the school would understand. The counselor was great. Even changed

some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes. Then in oct

E

did get sick and missed a month of school. The 504 plan went into effect.

It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer.

Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have

suffered.

There was no way she could have made up all that work. Since the teachers

were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great. Finally after many

e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board. Next

year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with

chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have

had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he

can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start

working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a

time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family

dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be

easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started

using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5

weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed

and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a

biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back

last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months

for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that

he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

From what I read and my daughter's doc has said...absolutely.  Dr H said the

anxiety should go away once we get rid of the lyme.  According to doc, the

anxiety and ocd issues are symptoms of the lyme.  My daughter always had some

anxiety issues but nothing like what we see after she gets sick from lyme. 

Going to school has been a huge issue, especially after she missed a month of

school and then again after the holiday break.

________________________________

From: Ellen Kleinknecht <ellen@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 8:48:52 AM

Subject: RE: [ ] Re: fathers

I see a recurring theme in so many of these emails – that a great many of

the kids suffer from anxiety.  Is there a known connection with Lyme and

anxiety?  We are now finally seeing physical improvements in my son, but his

anxiety is immovable and no drug seems to help!  I can’t even get him to go

to school most days.  Thank you for any insight.

*From:* [mailto:

] *On Behalf Of *Mildred Reagle

*Sent:* Thursday, February 17, 2011 8:46 AM

*To:*

*Subject:* Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well.  This being my daughter's first year in middle school i

didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that

we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan).  At first the school

hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment.  I used her " extreme " anxiety as

the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " .  I had to

find

words the school would understand.  The counselor was great.  Even changed

some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes.  Then in oct

E

did get sick and missed a month of school.  The 504 plan went into effect.

It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer.

Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have

suffered.

There was no way she could have made up all that work.  Since the teachers

were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great.  Finally after many

e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board.  Next

year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with

chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have

had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he

can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start

working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a

time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family

dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be

easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started

using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5

weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed

and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a

biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back

last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months

for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that

he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

Is he on any supplements?  I know that bach (sp) flower has helped my daughter

alot - I use to put drops in her water - that reminds me that I should start

that again...........get some at the health food store........would love to hear

other ideas from others as I suffer from this also....

________________________________

From: Ellen Kleinknecht <ellen@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:48:52 AM

Subject: RE: [ ] Re: fathers

I see a recurring theme in so many of these emails – that a great many of

the kids suffer from anxiety.  Is there a known connection with Lyme and

anxiety?  We are now finally seeing physical improvements in my son, but his

anxiety is immovable and no drug seems to help!  I can’t even get him to go

to school most days.  Thank you for any insight.

*From:* [mailto:

] *On Behalf Of *Mildred Reagle

*Sent:* Thursday, February 17, 2011 8:46 AM

*To:*

*Subject:* Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well.  This being my daughter's first year in middle school i

didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that

we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan).  At first the school

hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment.  I used her " extreme " anxiety as

the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " .  I had to

find

words the school would understand.  The counselor was great.  Even changed

some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes.  Then in oct

E

did get sick and missed a month of school.  The 504 plan went into effect.

It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer.

Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have

suffered.

There was no way she could have made up all that work.  Since the teachers

were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great.  Finally after many

e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board.  Next

year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with

chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have

had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he

can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start

working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a

time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family

dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be

easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started

using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5

weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed

and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a

biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back

last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months

for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that

he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

I am wondering - my daughter that had a 504 in eight grade and now a IEP under

OHI at her high school.....I would like to know what is put into the wording of

this......my daughter really only has an extra five days after an absents to

make up her homework - anyone have anything that lightens the load for these

kids at all or do they still expect them to do all the work even though they are

not able to attend school all the time?

thanks,

Diane Biel

________________________________

From: Mildred Reagle <mildge2@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:45:54 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

 

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well.  This being my daughter's first year in middle school i didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan).  At first the school hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment.  I used her " extreme " anxiety as

the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " .   I had to find

words the school would understand.  The counselor was great.  Even changed

some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes.  Then in oct E

did get sick and missed a month of school.  The 504 plan went into effect.  It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer.  

Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have suffered. 

There was no way she could have made up all that work.  Since the teachers were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great.  Finally after many e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board.  Next year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

 

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

my daughters have pretty much unlimited time to make up work after an absence.

My younger one also has a late start and does not go to math at all, or school

until 10 am. We teach her math at home and she has a tutor.

Natasha

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:21:59 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

I am wondering - my daughter that had a 504 in eight grade and now a IEP under

OHI at her high school.....I would like to know what is put into the wording of

this......my daughter really only has an extra five days after an absents to

make up her homework - anyone have anything that lightens the load for these

kids at all or do they still expect them to do all the work even though they are

not able to attend school all the time?

thanks,

Diane Biel

________________________________

From: Mildred Reagle <mildge2@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:45:54 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well. This being my daughter's first year in middle school i didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan). At first the school hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment. I used her " extreme " anxiety as the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " . I had to find

words the school would understand. The counselor was great. Even changed some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes. Then in oct E

did get sick and missed a month of school. The 504 plan went into effect. It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer. Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have suffered.

There was no way she could have made up all that work. Since the teachers were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great. Finally after many e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board. Next year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

Natasha - do they still give her the whole work load or reduce it at all? 

thanks,

Diane

________________________________

From: Natasha Moiseyev <nmoiseyev@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 8:43:43 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

 

my daughters have pretty much unlimited time to make up work after an absence.

My younger one also has a late start and does not go to math at all, or school

until 10 am. We teach her math at home and she has a tutor.

Natasha

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:21:59 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

I am wondering - my daughter that had a 504 in eight grade and now a IEP under

OHI at her high school.....I would like to know what is put into the wording of

this......my daughter really only has an extra five days after an absents to

make up her homework - anyone have anything that lightens the load for these

kids at all or do they still expect them to do all the work even though they are

not able to attend school all the time?

thanks,

Diane Biel

________________________________

From: Mildred Reagle <mildge2@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:45:54 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well. This being my daughter's first year in middle school i didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan). At first the school hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment. I used her " extreme " anxiety as the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " . I had to find

words the school would understand. The counselor was great. Even changed some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes. Then in oct E

did get sick and missed a month of school. The 504 plan went into effect. It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer. Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have suffered.

There was no way she could have made up all that work. Since the teachers were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great. Finally after many e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board. Next year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

I assume you pay for the tutor?  If not, what kind of documentation did you

need

to get the tutor?

________________________________

From: Natasha Moiseyev <nmoiseyev@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:43:43 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

 

my daughters have pretty much unlimited time to make up work after an absence.

My younger one also has a late start and does not go to math at all, or school

until 10 am. We teach her math at home and she has a tutor.

Natasha

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:21:59 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

I am wondering - my daughter that had a 504 in eight grade and now a IEP under

OHI at her high school.....I would like to know what is put into the wording of

this......my daughter really only has an extra five days after an absents to

make up her homework - anyone have anything that lightens the load for these

kids at all or do they still expect them to do all the work even though they are

not able to attend school all the time?

thanks,

Diane Biel

________________________________

From: Mildred Reagle <mildge2@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:45:54 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well. This being my daughter's first year in middle school i didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan). At first the school hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment. I used her " extreme " anxiety as the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " . I had to find

words the school would understand. The counselor was great. Even changed some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes. Then in oct E

did get sick and missed a month of school. The 504 plan went into effect. It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer. Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have suffered.

There was no way she could have made up all that work. Since the teachers were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great. Finally after many e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board. Next year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

We do not pay for the tutor. One daughter is out altogether and she gets 5

hours per weeks of tutor time (disclaimer -- he's largely useless but does

shuttle work to and from the teachers, which they seem to find more helpful than

when we were doing the same thing), and the other is out in the mornings and so

has one hour of tutor time per week to do math. We make up the difference in

many hours per week of teaching our own kids.

The way we got it (first time this year) was that the doctor wrote a note saying

that my younger one absolutely needs to come in for late start. Because she is

out altogether for that period, we got our generous one hour of tutor time. The

other daughter, being completeley out of school for health reasons, has an IEP

and the school gave us a tutor that the district pays for.

They said that if our older daughter was even pretending she would be back in

school, i.e., one hour a semester, they could not justify the tutoring. We

opted for the complete pull-out. She's in 8th grade and we are just as happy

she is missing all that middle school drama. It was slowing down her recovery.

________________________________

From: <ecckwalk@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 8:08:08 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

I assume you pay for the tutor? If not, what kind of documentation did you need

to get the tutor?

________________________________

From: Natasha Moiseyev <nmoiseyev@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:43:43 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

my daughters have pretty much unlimited time to make up work after an absence.

My younger one also has a late start and does not go to math at all, or school

until 10 am. We teach her math at home and she has a tutor.

Natasha

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:21:59 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

I am wondering - my daughter that had a 504 in eight grade and now a IEP under

OHI at her high school.....I would like to know what is put into the wording of

this......my daughter really only has an extra five days after an absents to

make up her homework - anyone have anything that lightens the load for these

kids at all or do they still expect them to do all the work even though they are

not able to attend school all the time?

thanks,

Diane Biel

________________________________

From: Mildred Reagle <mildge2@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:45:54 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well. This being my daughter's first year in middle school i didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan). At first the school hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment. I used her " extreme " anxiety as the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " . I had to find

words the school would understand. The counselor was great. Even changed some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes. Then in oct E

did get sick and missed a month of school. The 504 plan went into effect. It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer. Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have suffered.

There was no way she could have made up all that work. Since the teachers were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great. Finally after many e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board. Next year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

I just realized my long ramble may not have answered your question. The answer

is: the LLMD wrote notes for both daughters, one saying she needed to me out

altogether and the other saying that the other daughter needed a late start,

which caused her to be absent altogether for math. With those in hand, we

requested a 504 plan that included a district tutor to help us with both

daughters' educations. The district agreed (with our principal's huge help and

advocacy) to give our older daughter the 5-hour-per-week tutor (which obviously

is not enough time to educate a child in 4 core subjects) and our younger one 1

hour per week of tutor time (which also does not cover, but at least gets the

teachers to cooperate with us in giving us assignments and so on).

Natasha

________________________________

From: <ecckwalk@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 8:08:08 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

I assume you pay for the tutor? If not, what kind of documentation did you need

to get the tutor?

________________________________

From: Natasha Moiseyev <nmoiseyev@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:43:43 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

my daughters have pretty much unlimited time to make up work after an absence.

My younger one also has a late start and does not go to math at all, or school

until 10 am. We teach her math at home and she has a tutor.

Natasha

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:21:59 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

I am wondering - my daughter that had a 504 in eight grade and now a IEP under

OHI at her high school.....I would like to know what is put into the wording of

this......my daughter really only has an extra five days after an absents to

make up her homework - anyone have anything that lightens the load for these

kids at all or do they still expect them to do all the work even though they are

not able to attend school all the time?

thanks,

Diane Biel

________________________________

From: Mildred Reagle <mildge2@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:45:54 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well. This being my daughter's first year in middle school i didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan). At first the school hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment. I used her " extreme " anxiety as the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " . I had to find

words the school would understand. The counselor was great. Even changed some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes. Then in oct E

did get sick and missed a month of school. The 504 plan went into effect. It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer. Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have suffered.

There was no way she could have made up all that work. Since the teachers were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great. Finally after many e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board. Next year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

Last year they did pass-fail and excused her from some assignments. This year

they excused her from a couple of assignments but mostly she is just at home and

does the work and takes the tests with her tutor as a proctor. However, we have

a friend whose daughter, same age (8th grade) is about 1 year behind my older

daughter in treatment. For her, the teachers gave her the worksheets and

reading, she is not responsible for the tests, and she has a tutor who comes

when she is well enough (which has not been for about 2 months). For these sick

kids, they are just trying to get them through and pass them to the next grade

for when they are well again.

There is a lot of in-class busy work. The teachers generally do not require

that the kids turn it in. My daughter is actually doing great so I have her do

it to simulate the classroom experience as much as possible. This is why I have

her taking the tests too. But not everyone is at that point, and last year it

was a real blessing to have her turn in the homework (she was excused from a

couple of group projects because the teacher -- mercifully- lacked the

imagination to figure out how she could do it as an independent single-person

project) and get credit for the semester.

I think these are things you can negotiate.

But she definitely did not have to get things in within a week of being absent.

Ugh.

We had pushback this semester from the rather unpleasant 7th grade math teacher.

My daughter has not been in his classroom since October, and she struggles to

go to school at all. We hoped to just pull her but she is desperate for the

social interaction. He started to give us grief about how she was still behind.

We pushed back, told him she will catch up asap and that it is unrealistic ot

schedule her for FIVE makeup tests in one day, which he did a couple of weeks

ago. We pointed out that if the goal was to assess her mastery of the material,

this was not really a way to do that -- five tests aftr a full day of school for

a chronically ill child. He shut up after that.

Getting really good at just laying out what we need when they don't do it for

us. The law is in your favor if you have a doctor's note that spells out your

child's needs. We wrote our note for our LLMD to save him time, and he totally

agreed with it.

Hope that helps. We parents of sick kids have a full time job just with this

issue, for sure.

Natasha

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:51:24 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Natasha - do they still give her the whole work load or reduce it at all?

thanks,

Diane

________________________________

From: Natasha Moiseyev <nmoiseyev@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 8:43:43 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

my daughters have pretty much unlimited time to make up work after an absence.

My younger one also has a late start and does not go to math at all, or school

until 10 am. We teach her math at home and she has a tutor.

Natasha

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:21:59 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

I am wondering - my daughter that had a 504 in eight grade and now a IEP under

OHI at her high school.....I would like to know what is put into the wording of

this......my daughter really only has an extra five days after an absents to

make up her homework - anyone have anything that lightens the load for these

kids at all or do they still expect them to do all the work even though they are

not able to attend school all the time?

thanks,

Diane Biel

________________________________

From: Mildred Reagle <mildge2@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:45:54 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well. This being my daughter's first year in middle school i didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan). At first the school hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment. I used her " extreme " anxiety as the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " . I had to find

words the school would understand. The counselor was great. Even changed some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes. Then in oct E

did get sick and missed a month of school. The 504 plan went into effect. It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer. Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have suffered.

There was no way she could have made up all that work. Since the teachers were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great. Finally after many e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board. Next year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

would you be able to private message me your letter to school? thanks - Diane

________________________________

From: Natasha Moiseyev <nmoiseyev@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 10:31:03 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

 

Last year they did pass-fail and excused her from some assignments. This year

they excused her from a couple of assignments but mostly she is just at home and

does the work and takes the tests with her tutor as a proctor. However, we have

a friend whose daughter, same age (8th grade) is about 1 year behind my older

daughter in treatment. For her, the teachers gave her the worksheets and

reading, she is not responsible for the tests, and she has a tutor who comes

when she is well enough (which has not been for about 2 months). For these sick

kids, they are just trying to get them through and pass them to the next grade

for when they are well again.

There is a lot of in-class busy work. The teachers generally do not require

that the kids turn it in. My daughter is actually doing great so I have her do

it to simulate the classroom experience as much as possible. This is why I have

her taking the tests too. But not everyone is at that point, and last year it

was a real blessing to have her turn in the homework (she was excused from a

couple of group projects because the teacher -- mercifully- lacked the

imagination to figure out how she could do it as an independent single-person

project) and get credit for the semester.

I think these are things you can negotiate.

But she definitely did not have to get things in within a week of being absent.

Ugh.

We had pushback this semester from the rather unpleasant 7th grade math teacher.

My daughter has not been in his classroom since October, and she struggles to

go to school at all. We hoped to just pull her but she is desperate for the

social interaction. He started to give us grief about how she was still behind.

We pushed back, told him she will catch up asap and that it is unrealistic ot

schedule her for FIVE makeup tests in one day, which he did a couple of weeks

ago. We pointed out that if the goal was to assess her mastery of the material,

this was not really a way to do that -- five tests aftr a full day of school for

a chronically ill child. He shut up after that.

Getting really good at just laying out what we need when they don't do it for

us. The law is in your favor if you have a doctor's note that spells out your

child's needs. We wrote our note for our LLMD to save him time, and he totally

agreed with it.

Hope that helps. We parents of sick kids have a full time job just with this

issue, for sure.

Natasha

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:51:24 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Natasha - do they still give her the whole work load or reduce it at all?

thanks,

Diane

________________________________

From: Natasha Moiseyev <nmoiseyev@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 8:43:43 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

my daughters have pretty much unlimited time to make up work after an absence.

My younger one also has a late start and does not go to math at all, or school

until 10 am. We teach her math at home and she has a tutor.

Natasha

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:21:59 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

I am wondering - my daughter that had a 504 in eight grade and now a IEP under

OHI at her high school.....I would like to know what is put into the wording of

this......my daughter really only has an extra five days after an absents to

make up her homework - anyone have anything that lightens the load for these

kids at all or do they still expect them to do all the work even though they are

not able to attend school all the time?

thanks,

Diane Biel

________________________________

From: Mildred Reagle <mildge2@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:45:54 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well. This being my daughter's first year in middle school i didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan). At first the school hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment. I used her " extreme " anxiety as the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " . I had to find

words the school would understand. The counselor was great. Even changed some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes. Then in oct E

did get sick and missed a month of school. The 504 plan went into effect. It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer. Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have suffered.

There was no way she could have made up all that work. Since the teachers were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great. Finally after many e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board. Next year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Natasha.

What I'm struggling with is my son's anxiety and how to handle this with

school.  For 4 yrs now (1 yr undiagnosed) he ends up w/ one teacher that causes

him huge anxiety.  It's his preconceived notion of that teacher that begins the

anxiety.  5 & 7th grade- math tchr, 6th- health, 8th- science.  We have had to

switch teachers for these classes but this year there is only one 8th grade

science teacher.  Yes, we have a 504 plan so the school has worked w/ us but

we've never gone as far as to ask for a tutor.  We ended up having him go to the

library during science class and he does his assignments on his own or w/ our

help. 

Here is the problem:  How do you account for missing class when it's something

that can't be done outside the classroom?  K misses the labs during class and

we're not allowed to do them on our own as they are chemistry kinds of labs. 

This also affects his " lab write-up " assigments.  Fortunately he got an A+ our

first 1/4 (yeah for us!) then a B- last 1/4.  My concern is what happens if this

happens again in science as a freshman next year.  He's already made comments

that make me worry.  My only hope is to find a student " assistant " who would be

allowed to work w/ him during a study hall or after school.  Also, it's

embarassing for him to try to deal w/ this w/ his peers.  Soon I plan to meet w/

his high school councelor to discuss all of this.  He's seen 2 therapists who

say to let it go right now, don't try to get him back into the science class

this years because he has only been treating (w/ lots of ups and downs) for

about 2 yrs so it's still early.  He is on an antidepressant and an antianxiety.

I'm just curious if anyone has encountered missing a critical,  " classtime "

class and how you have been able to handle it.

thanks,  Elaine

[Guest guest]

I'm not sure why you couldn't do the chem labs on your own at home.

We are getting ready to do that.

Natasha

________________________________

From: <ecckwalk@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 8:48:01 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Thanks, Natasha.

What I'm struggling with is my son's anxiety and how to handle this with

school. For 4 yrs now (1 yr undiagnosed) he ends up w/ one teacher that causes

him huge anxiety. It's his preconceived notion of that teacher that begins the

anxiety. 5 & 7th grade- math tchr, 6th- health, 8th- science. We have had to

switch teachers for these classes but this year there is only one 8th grade

science teacher. Yes, we have a 504 plan so the school has worked w/ us but

we've never gone as far as to ask for a tutor. We ended up having him go to the

library during science class and he does his assignments on his own or w/ our

help.

Here is the problem: How do you account for missing class when it's something

that can't be done outside the classroom? K misses the labs during class and

we're not allowed to do them on our own as they are chemistry kinds of labs.

This also affects his " lab write-up " assigments. Fortunately he got an A+ our

first 1/4 (yeah for us!) then a B- last 1/4. My concern is what happens if this

happens again in science as a freshman next year. He's already made comments

that make me worry. My only hope is to find a student " assistant " who would be

allowed to work w/ him during a study hall or after school. Also, it's

embarassing for him to try to deal w/ this w/ his peers. Soon I plan to meet w/

his high school councelor to discuss all of this. He's seen 2 therapists who

say to let it go right now, don't try to get him back into the science class

this years because he has only been treating (w/ lots of ups and downs) for

about 2 yrs so it's still early. He is on an antidepressant and an antianxiety.

I'm just curious if anyone has encountered missing a critical, " classtime "

class and how you have been able to handle it.

thanks, Elaine

[Guest guest]

Is the teacher giving you all the supplies and materials?

________________________________

From: Natasha Moiseyev <nmoiseyev@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 8:53:14 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

 

I'm not sure why you couldn't do the chem labs on your own at home.

We are getting ready to do that.

Natasha

________________________________

From: <ecckwalk@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 8:48:01 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Thanks, Natasha.

What I'm struggling with is my son's anxiety and how to handle this with

school. For 4 yrs now (1 yr undiagnosed) he ends up w/ one teacher that causes

him huge anxiety. It's his preconceived notion of that teacher that begins the

anxiety. 5 & 7th grade- math tchr, 6th- health, 8th- science. We have had to

switch teachers for these classes but this year there is only one 8th grade

science teacher. Yes, we have a 504 plan so the school has worked w/ us but

we've never gone as far as to ask for a tutor. We ended up having him go to the

library during science class and he does his assignments on his own or w/ our

help.

Here is the problem: How do you account for missing class when it's something

that can't be done outside the classroom? K misses the labs during class and

we're not allowed to do them on our own as they are chemistry kinds of labs.

This also affects his " lab write-up " assigments. Fortunately he got an A+ our

first 1/4 (yeah for us!) then a B- last 1/4. My concern is what happens if this

happens again in science as a freshman next year. He's already made comments

that make me worry. My only hope is to find a student " assistant " who would be

allowed to work w/ him during a study hall or after school. Also, it's

embarassing for him to try to deal w/ this w/ his peers. Soon I plan to meet w/

his high school councelor to discuss all of this. He's seen 2 therapists who

say to let it go right now, don't try to get him back into the science class

this years because he has only been treating (w/ lots of ups and downs) for

about 2 yrs so it's still early. He is on an antidepressant and an antianxiety.

I'm just curious if anyone has encountered missing a critical, " classtime "

class and how you have been able to handle it.

thanks, Elaine

[Guest guest]

Did I already answer this? I can't remember. One of those days.

Yes, they do actually reduce it -- less now that she is nearly better but still

out of school until next year to ensure total return to health.

Last year they took away a lot of " busy work " assignments and gave her just the

essential homework and stuff.

Natasha

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:51:24 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Natasha - do they still give her the whole work load or reduce it at all?

thanks,

Diane

________________________________

From: Natasha Moiseyev <nmoiseyev@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 8:43:43 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

my daughters have pretty much unlimited time to make up work after an absence.

My younger one also has a late start and does not go to math at all, or school

until 10 am. We teach her math at home and she has a tutor.

Natasha

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 6:21:59 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

I am wondering - my daughter that had a 504 in eight grade and now a IEP under

OHI at her high school.....I would like to know what is put into the wording of

this......my daughter really only has an extra five days after an absents to

make up her homework - anyone have anything that lightens the load for these

kids at all or do they still expect them to do all the work even though they are

not able to attend school all the time?

thanks,

Diane Biel

________________________________

From: Mildred Reagle <mildge2@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 7:45:54 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

Responding to the second part of your message...We have had some issues with

school as well. This being my daughter's first year in middle school i didn't

know what to expect, so I asked for a meeting last summer and explained that we

needed a 504 plan (medical, not learning plan). At first the school hesitated

since E wasn't really " sick " at the moment. I used her " extreme " anxiety as the

issue and then asked to add the lyme just in case it " flared " . I had to find

words the school would understand. The counselor was great. Even changed some

of E's classes so she would have friendly faces in her classes. Then in oct E

did get sick and missed a month of school. The 504 plan went into effect. It

was the best decision I had made...to go to the school our the summer. Without

the plan I'm not sure how E's grades, or her confidence would have suffered.

There was no way she could have made up all that work. Since the teachers were

aware of her situation " most " of them were great. Finally after many e-mails,

phone calls, and visits I think we have all her teachers on board. Next year

she gets a whole new group of teachers...hopefully the same counselor:)

________________________________

From: ktdommer <ktdommer@...>

Sent: Wed, February 16, 2011 6:20:00 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: fathers

I get the Venus Mars thing when it comes to men and women dealing with chronic

illness. The men are fixers and sick kids can't be fixed overnight. I have had

to lower my expectations of my husband. He just can't get there

emotionally/mentally. I married an engineer. I got him busy doing what he can

do- fix good meals, take the sickest out for a smoothie, play cards, get the

best price on vitamins and research herbs etc... My husband had to start working

from home so he got to see my sickest child at his sickest for hours at a time.

That helped his compassion a bit. He now schedules the nurse and infusion

company drop offs.

We are so hopeful that we are coming out of this and that the family dynamics

can someday be back to normal.

On a different note but in a response to another post about it would be easier

if our children had cancer and I have thought that many times. I started using

those words with the school. Last year when the wanted Nate to make up 5 weeks

of work, I asked them what they would do if Nate had cancer. Things changed and

the amount of work was less that he had to do. Today at an IEP meeting a biology

teacher is marking Nate down for work not turned in. He just started back last

week. I asked her if she would do the same if Nate had been out for 5 months for

cancer treatment. That changed her tune. I made sure it was written in that he

would not be docked due to laste assignments resulting from health issues. I

have to say thought that today was the best IEP/IAT meeting I have had in 3

years.

I'm so glad that we can support eachother even if only online.

Thinking of you all,

Kari

[Guest guest]

My daughter did miss classroom time and they made her take summer school - but

the summer school was all done on-line..........so........I am wondering if they

would have an 0n-line class he could do at home or in the library during that

time.........our public school has to offer the on-line classes for free and

although they say college doesn't look high on on-line classes I assume they

would like a b or and a on an on-line class other then a d or f from the

classroom class.

Hope this helps......

diane

________________________________

From: <ecckwalk@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 10:48:01 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

 

Thanks, Natasha.

What I'm struggling with is my son's anxiety and how to handle this with

school.  For 4 yrs now (1 yr undiagnosed) he ends up w/ one teacher that causes

him huge anxiety.  It's his preconceived notion of that teacher that begins the

anxiety.  5 & 7th grade- math tchr, 6th- health, 8th- science.  We have had to

switch teachers for these classes but this year there is only one 8th grade

science teacher.  Yes, we have a 504 plan so the school has worked w/ us but

we've never gone as far as to ask for a tutor.  We ended up having him go to

the

library during science class and he does his assignments on his own or w/ our

help. 

Here is the problem:  How do you account for missing class when

it's something

that can't be done outside the classroom?  K misses the labs during class and

we're not allowed to do them on our own as they are chemistry kinds of labs. 

This also affects his " lab write-up " assigments.  Fortunately he got an A+ our

first 1/4 (yeah for us!) then a B- last 1/4.  My concern is what happens if

this

happens again in science as a freshman next year.  He's already made comments

that make me worry.  My only hope is to find a student " assistant " who would be

allowed to work w/ him during a study hall or after school.  Also, it's

embarassing for him to try to deal w/ this w/ his peers.  Soon I plan to meet

w/

his high school councelor to discuss all of this.  He's seen 2 therapists who

say to let it go right now, don't try to get him back into the science class

this years because he has only been treating (w/ lots of ups and downs) for

about 2 yrs so it's still early.  He is on an antidepressant and an

antianxiety.

I'm just curious if anyone has encountered missing a critical,  " classtime "

class and how you have been able to handle it.

thanks,  Elaine

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Diane.

________________________________

From: Diane Biel <dkbmama@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 10:03:43 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

 

My daughter did miss classroom time and they made her take summer school - but

the summer school was all done on-line..........so........I am wondering if they

would have an 0n-line class he could do at home or in the library during that

time.........our public school has to offer the on-line classes for free and

although they say college doesn't look high on on-line classes I assume they

would like a b or and a on an on-line class other then a d or f from the

classroom class.

Hope this helps......

diane

________________________________

From: <ecckwalk@...>

Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 10:48:01 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: fathers

 

Thanks, Natasha.

What I'm struggling with is my son's anxiety and how to handle this with

school.  For 4 yrs now (1 yr undiagnosed) he ends up w/ one teacher that causes

him huge anxiety.  It's his preconceived notion of that teacher that begins the

anxiety.  5 & 7th grade- math tchr, 6th- health, 8th- science.  We have had to

switch teachers for these classes but this year there is only one 8th grade

science teacher.  Yes, we have a 504 plan so the school has worked w/ us but

we've never gone as far as to ask for a tutor.  We ended up having him go to

the

library during science class and he does his assignments on his own or w/ our

help. 

Here is the problem:  How do you account for missing class when

it's something

that can't be done outside the classroom?  K misses the labs during class and

we're not allowed to do them on our own as they are chemistry kinds of labs. 

This also affects his " lab write-up " assigments.  Fortunately he got an A+ our

first 1/4 (yeah for us!) then a B- last 1/4.  My concern is what happens if

this

happens again in science as a freshman next year.  He's already made comments

that make me worry.  My only hope is to find a student " assistant " who would be

allowed to work w/ him during a study hall or after school.  Also, it's

embarassing for him to try to deal w/ this w/ his peers.  Soon I plan to meet

w/

his high school councelor to discuss all of this.  He's seen 2 therapists who

say to let it go right now, don't try to get him back into the science class

this years because he has only been treating (w/ lots of ups and downs) for

about 2 yrs so it's still early.  He is on an antidepressant and an

antianxiety.

I'm just curious if anyone has encountered missing a critical,  " classtime "

class and how you have been able to handle it.

thanks,  Elaine