Re: holding back a grade...

[Guest guest]

My son was held back in kindergarten for a second year. I think it

helped him to grasp the basics of learning better than he had done the

year before. When Blake was older they bumped him from 4th grade on

up to 6th the next year... i wasn't too keen on that decision, he only

had skills to the 3rd and 4th grades. Do what your gut tells you to

do. You will know what is best for your child.

>

> Hi, all,

> I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your autistic

> child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence, and

> is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did? It

> came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July

> birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was going

> around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about it

> and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal and

> I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do

> this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her

> fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he got

> very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.

>

> Any thoughts?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think that as long as your child can handle it " academically " ,,,,,,it would be

wrong to hold them back.

Socially, they are usually not going to always fit in as well as a 'typical'

child (depending on the degree of asperger's).

I would definitely let them grow as much as they can, though, whether it's

academics or whatever!!!

Hope this helps.

Robin

lisalgreer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, all,

I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your autistic

child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence, and

is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did? It

came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July

birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was going

around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about it

and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal and

I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do

this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her

fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he got

very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.

Any thoughts?

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[Guest guest]

,

My son has a very high i.q., above average vocabulary & verbal skills, was

reading chapter books at age 3.......but has an August birthday & has AS. We

held him back. We had him go to Pre-k, bridge Kinder and then Kindergarten.

He's in first grade now and I don't regret it at all. My suggestion is to put

your daughter in Pre-k next year. If you & the teacher see that she's weak in

social skills, then I'd get the teacher, school principal/director to conference

with you & your hubby to explain why it is in her best interest to place her in

a bridge kinder or repeat Pre-k the next year. Maybe your husband can be

persuaded to go along with holding her back if the teachers & principal explain

how much it could hurt her to be one of the younger kids in her class and have a

disorder that impacts her social skills.

Liz

(I'm a huge fan of red shirting AS, summer birthday kids in

Kindergarten.......and I was a kindergarten teacher for years! ) :-)

lisalgreer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, all,

I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your autistic

child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence, and

is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did? It

came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July

birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was going

around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about it

and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal and

I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do

this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her

fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he got

very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.

Any thoughts?

---------------------------------

Get your own web address.

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[Guest guest]

I have not read all of the replies yet, but I think it is perfectly acceptable

to hold your daughter back one more year if you feel it would benefit her. A

lot of people hold their children back even if they are not autistic simply

because of social aspects. Children start in kindergarten and have trouble in

school because they are not ready and nobody notices until they start failing

proficiency tests in 4th grade and then it is a struggle to catch up. My son's

birthday is February so I did not have this issue and he still struggled...do

what you feel is right for your daughter!

Good luck!

Tami

lisalgreer <lisalgreer@...> wrote: Hi,

all,

I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your autistic

child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence, and

is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did? It

came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July

birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was going

around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about it

and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal and

I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do

this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her

fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he got

very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.

Any thoughts?

Tami

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[Guest guest]

Our ds is a March birthday, and I never felt that another year would

have helped him. Academically, he is at grade level, and way above

grade level is some areas. I just don't see how it would have helped.

Liz

On Apr 8, 2007, at 1:11 AM, lisalgreer wrote:

> Hi, all,

> I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your autistic

> child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence, and

> is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did? It

> came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July

> birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was going

> around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about it

> and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal and

> I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do

> this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her

> fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he got

> very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.

>

> Any thoughts?

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

A few thoughts:

1. It can't hurt to hold her back and give her an extra year to

mature. BUT be sure you are using that time to work with her to help

her develop the skills she lacks.

2. Put her in a young-K program or pre-K program, which are for

children in a simliar position. The ones who are ready for 1st at the

end of young-K, or " K-1 " go on to 1st, the ones who aren't go to " K-

2 " . It's usually private schools that do this, though public may.

3. Put her K with special ed support. That would actually be my

advice. That way she is getting a chance to keep up with her same age

peers, but still getting the extra support she needs. And if DH is

absolutely adamant that there's nothing wrong with her, you could

always call her special ed support " enrichment " . I don't advocate

lieing to a child's other parent- unless you have to in order to get

your child what they need. Then Mommy Bear takes over and forget what

he wants.

Meira

>

> Hi, all,

> I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your

autistic

> child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence,

and

> is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did? It

> came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July

> birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was going

> around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about

it

> and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal

and

> I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do

> this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her

> fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he got

> very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.

>

> Any thoughts?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Meira,

My DH knows she is ASD. I just think he is still

processing it all... she was just dx'ed officially

last about two weeks ago. I was grieving since October

when she was referred for the long evaluation; he

didn't accept what was going on until the end of

December. He wanted to think maybe she was just a bit

odd, etc.

I think he's scared, etc. and just handling it in a

guy way. No offense to guys who handle their emotions

very well!! I think when the time comes, he will be

fine to do what we need to do. He says he does not

want to treat her like she can't do much. Again, he is

a high achiever, and this is all quite new for him,

but he's changing in good ways... heheheh.

You all have given me a lot to think about. Yes, I

plan to work on making sure she has an aid next year

at preschool... when she's 4 and beyond. He's all for

that stuff. I think he is just worried that she would

be held back and then maybe fail grades, too. I see it

as better if she were held back first and made it

hopefully without failing later. But we will take it

as it comes, I guess... can't predict the future at

this point.

Best,

--- meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

> A few thoughts:

>

> 1. It can't hurt to hold her back and give her an

> extra year to

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[Guest guest]

NC law is turn 5 by Oct. 16...Well dd was due in November...but born in

September...We have debated on what to do as far as Kindergarten but apparently

it is going to be taken out of our hands :-) The state is working on changing

the cut of date to an August date..so she would have another year before

Kindergarten.

I think socially she needs that extra year but academically she is more than

ready...we'll see!

- C.

A.E.P.

Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS & SPD/SID

Re: ( ) holding back a grade...

,

My son has a very high i.q., above average vocabulary & verbal skills, was

reading chapter books at age 3.......but has an August birthday & has AS. We

held him back. We had him go to Pre-k, bridge Kinder and then Kindergarten. He's

in first grade now and I don't regret it at all. My suggestion is to put your

daughter in Pre-k next year. If you & the teacher see that she's weak in social

skills, then I'd get the teacher, school principal/director to conference with

you & your hubby to explain why it is in her best interest to place her in a

bridge kinder or repeat Pre-k the next year. Maybe your husband can be persuaded

to go along with holding her back if the teachers & principal explain how much

it could hurt her to be one of the younger kids in her class and have a disorder

that impacts her social skills.

Liz

(I'm a huge fan of red shirting AS, summer birthday kids in

Kindergarten.......and I was a kindergarten teacher for years! ) :-)

lisalgreer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, all,

I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your autistic

child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence, and

is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did? It

came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July

birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was going

around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about it

and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal and

I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do

this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her

fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he got

very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.

Any thoughts?

---------------------------------

Get your own web address.

Have a HUGE year through Small Business.

[Guest guest]

Our daughter is high functioning with a high IQ. She had a speech

delay but that is gone now at 5. She has social, behavior, and

sensory issues. We have stopped treating her like she is

different. We don't mention autism. When we treated her like there

was something wrong with her she was worse. She is worse in special

ed. So we are mainstreaming her and treating her like she is

normal. Of course I talk with her about her feelings regarding her

remaining issues, but I treat those as normal too. I teach her that

no one is perfect and we all have to control ourselves. Sometimes

we make mistakes. She relates well to this. So for us, this has

helped her cope.

Jen

, " lisalgreer " <lisalgreer@...>

wrote:

>

> Hi, all,

> I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your

autistic

> child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence,

and

> is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did?

It

> came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July

> birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was going

> around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about

it

> and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal

and

> I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do

> this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her

> fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he

got

> very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.

>

> Any thoughts?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That makes sense. We haven't told Gracie anything

about autism yet, and I don't plan to unless it

becomes a must; I figure the less different I make her

feel on top of the rest of it the better. And I would

LIKE to mainstream her AND start her at 5 in

kindergarten as well. I just want my hubby to be

open to whatever we need to do. To do that, we are

working with her as much as we can academically here

and otherwise in addition to her preschool. We'll see

how it goes...

Thanks for this post. It has really helped.

--- jennifer_thorson <jennifer_thorson@...>

wrote:

> Our daughter is high functioning with a high IQ.

> She had a speech

> delay but that is gone now at 5. She has

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[Guest guest]

I think this is more along the lines of our approach, so like myself

she can grow up feeling she is normal... though I have to say I had

my suspicions along the way.. and in fact find some relief now in

knowing that my oddities are more likely based on something out of my

control and not that I was just a weirdo. LOL

Marcia

On Apr 9, 2007, at 3:56 PM, jennifer_thorson wrote:

> Our daughter is high functioning with a high IQ. She had a speech

> delay but that is gone now at 5. She has social, behavior, and

> sensory issues. We have stopped treating her like she is

> different. We don't mention autism. When we treated her like there

> was something wrong with her she was worse. She is worse in special

> ed. So we are mainstreaming her and treating her like she is

> normal. Of course I talk with her about her feelings regarding her

> remaining issues, but I treat those as normal too. I teach her that

> no one is perfect and we all have to control ourselves. Sometimes

> we make mistakes. She relates well to this. So for us, this has

> helped her cope.

>

> Jen

>

> , " lisalgreer " <lisalgreer@...>

> wrote:

>>

>> Hi, all,

>> I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your

> autistic

>> child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence,

> and

>> is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did?

> It

>> came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July

>> birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was going

>> around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about

> it

>> and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal

> and

>> I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do

>> this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her

>> fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he

> got

>> very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.

>>

>> Any thoughts?

>>

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

We've always told him he has aspergers and adhd. That is why he takes the pill he takes and why we see the dr now and then. He knows this is where his energy comes from and that it is not necessaritly in his control. But,,,,,he also knows that as he gets older,,,,,he has to adapt. Whether this is getting a job that allows him the freedom of movement, etc. Coupled with aspergers,,,,,,,he knows that this gives him the ability to focus on his things longer than most could handle it. This is also why he finds math and science so easy and why he gets calls from friends asking him about different levels of different games. He also knows that this is why he needs breaks. He, as 10, is getting pretty good at learning when he "feels" he has to have a break (which is usually down time on the computer). It's somewhere where he can focus on something other than the noise of the classroom, etc. But,,,,,,,he also knows that this is why it's hard, and will be hard, for him to find friends to relate to for long periods of time. So,,,,,he's going to have to WORK at what comes naturally for others. Anyway,,,,,,,,,,,,that's why we tell him all about it. He even recently wrote a lttle thing up for his school's social skills class telling what it's like to have aspergers. He wrote that it was no big deal for him and that everyone has something. I was really proud that he got it. Even if he was simply "reciting" what we tell him,,,,,,,I hope he eventually really "feels" that. I have copied a paper that my 8 yr old daughter wrote about my son, when it was autism awareness month. When my son read it,,,,,he even smiled and said,,,,,"yeah,,,,,I like to help when we go camping."I hope you enjoy it. I guess I'm kind of bragging on them a bit right now,,,,,,,,but maybe we all

should do that a bit more. I find myself too often the "no" person,,,,,,,that I think I should focus on some positives more. Robin Awesome Things About Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders By Lemke My older brother has Aspergers. He is 10 and his name is Ian. It is very hard to have a brother with this because we never know how he is going to feel. Sometimes he is very angry and it is hard for him to concentrate or do what he has to do.

Sometimes my mom cries. I feel bad for him because he is treated differently at school and he does not have the friends he deserves. Sometimes I wish I did not have to see him because it’s hard to see him act wrong at school and be treated like he isn’t very smart. He is really smart and he deserves to be treated right. I wish I could make people let him play with them. I think he is lonely there. He is really responsible when he is at home. He just isn’t at school. He is great at math and people even call him to help them with their computer and video games. He is a great swimmer and does lots of tricks off the diving board and lots of tricks on his bike. Last summer he took me to his hide-out on his bike. It is at the

steampits. He and his friends have a fort there. I enjoyed it a lot. When we go camping, he takes us up the hills, and when I say us, I mean me, him, Jack (our brother) and Sam (our sister). Sometimes, he goes with us to the park and plays. He has LOTS of energy. He also helps around the house. Like today, he vacuumed and he took out the garbage. He also said he would help me

with my video game. He is really funny, too. I like that the most about him. I just love him. Marcia <marciart@...> wrote: I think this is more along the lines of our approach, so like myself she can grow up feeling she is normal... though I have to say I had my suspicions along the way.. and in fact find some relief now in knowing that my oddities are more likely based on something out of my control and not that I was just a weirdo. LOLMarciaOn Apr 9, 2007, at 3:56 PM, jennifer_thorson wrote:> Our daughter is high functioning with a high IQ. She had a speech> delay but that is gone now at 5. She has social, behavior, and> sensory issues. We have stopped treating her like she is> different. We don't mention autism. When we treated her like there> was something wrong with her she was worse. She is worse in special> ed. So we are mainstreaming her and treating her

like she is> normal. Of course I talk with her about her feelings regarding her> remaining issues, but I treat those as normal too. I teach her that> no one is perfect and we all have to control ourselves. Sometimes> we make mistakes. She relates well to this. So for us, this has> helped her cope.>> Jen>> , "lisalgreer" <lisalgreer@...>> wrote:>>>> Hi, all,>> I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your> autistic>> child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence,> and>> is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did?> It>> came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July>> birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was

going>> around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about> it>> and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal> and>> I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do>> this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her>> fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he> got>> very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.>>>> Any thoughts?>>>> >>>>>>>

[Guest guest]

That is something else. How wonderful and insightful for an eight year old! I know you are proud of both of them as you should be. Toni

Re: ( ) Re: holding back a grade...

We've always told him he has aspergers and adhd. That is why he takes the pill he takes and why we see the dr now and then. He knows this is where his energy comes from and that it is not necessaritly in his control. But,,,,,he also knows that as he gets older,,,,,he has to adapt. Whether this is getting a job that allows him the freedom of movement, etc.

Coupled with aspergers,,,,,,,he knows that this gives him the ability to focus on his things longer than most could handle it. This is also why he finds math and science so easy and why he gets calls from friends asking him about different levels of different games. He also knows that this is why he needs breaks. He, as 10, is getting pretty good at learning when he "feels" he has to have a break (which is usually down time on the computer). It's somewhere where he can focus on something other than the noise of the classroom, etc.

But,,,,,,,he also knows that this is why it's hard, and will be hard, for him to find friends to relate to for long periods of time. So,,,,,he's going to have to WORK at what comes naturally for others.

Anyway,,,,,,,,,,,,that's why we tell him all about it. He even recently wrote a lttle thing up for his school's social skills class telling what it's like to have aspergers.

He wrote that it was no big deal for him and that everyone has something. I was really proud that he got it. Even if he was simply "reciting" what we tell him,,,,,,,I hope he eventually really "feels" that.

I have copied a paper that my 8 yr old daughter wrote about my son, when it was autism awareness month.

When my son read it,,,,,he even smiled and said,,,,,"yeah,,,,,I like to help when we go camping."I hope you enjoy it. I guess I'm kind of bragging on them a bit right now,,,,,,,,but maybe we all should do that a bit more. I find myself too often the "no" person,,,,,,,that I think I should focus on some positives more.

Robin

Awesome Things About Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders

By Lemke

My older brother has Aspergers. He is 10 and his name is Ian.

It is very hard to have a brother with this because we never know how he is going to feel. Sometimes he is very angry and it is hard for him to concentrate or do what he has to do. Sometimes my mom cries.

I feel bad for him because he is treated differently at school and he does not have the friends he deserves.

Sometimes I wish I did not have to see him because it’s hard to see him act wrong at school and be treated like he isn’t very smart. He is really smart and he deserves to be treated right. I wish I could make people let him play with them. I think he is lonely there.

He is really responsible when he is at home. He just isn’t at school.

He is great at math and people even call him to help them with their computer and video games.

He is a great swimmer and does lots of tricks off the diving board and lots of tricks on his bike. Last summer he took me to his hide-out on his bike. It is at the steampits. He and his friends have a fort there. I enjoyed it a lot.

When we go camping, he takes us up the hills, and when I say us, I mean me, him, Jack (our brother) and Sam (our sister). Sometimes, he goes with us to the park and plays. He has LOTS of energy.

He also helps around the house. Like today, he vacuumed and he took out the garbage. He also said he would help me with my video game.

He is really funny, too. I like that the most about him.

I just love him.

Marcia <marciartoptonline (DOT) net> wrote:

I think this is more along the lines of our approach, so like myself she can grow up feeling she is normal... though I have to say I had my suspicions along the way.. and in fact find some relief now in knowing that my oddities are more likely based on something out of my control and not that I was just a weirdo. LOLMarciaOn Apr 9, 2007, at 3:56 PM, jennifer_thorson wrote:> Our daughter is high functioning with a high IQ. She had a speech> delay but that is gone now at 5. She has social, behavior, and> sensory issues. We have stopped treating her like she is> different. We don't mention autism. When we treated her like there> was something wrong with her she was worse. She is worse in special> ed. So we are mainstreaming her and treating her like she is> normal. Of course I talk with her about her feelings regarding her> remaining issues, but I treat those as normal too. I teach her that> no one is perfect and we all have to control ourselves. Sometimes> we make mistakes. She relates well to this. So for us, this has> helped her cope.>> Jen>> , "lisalgreer" <lisalgreer@...>> wrote:>>>> Hi, all,>> I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your> autistic>> child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence,> and>> is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did?> It>> came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July>> birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was going>> around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about> it>> and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal> and>> I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do>> this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her>> fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he> got>> very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.>>>> Any thoughts?>>>> >>>>>>>

[Guest guest]

Makes me want to cry Robin.. my older brother wasn't treated very well throughout his childhood, by others and even by my mother. I'm certain he suffers with tourette's syndrome and probably AS and/or OCD.. Obviously it runs in our family to varying degrees. He was always called "Pee Wee", by everyone. He was short (even though he's average height now) all the way through high school and was just starved for attention. He was hyper and insecure and out of control. My heart still aches for him.Tell your daughter she's such a beautiful girl to write such a beautiful tribute. Both she and your son are very lucky to have one another.MarciaOn Apr 10, 2007, at 3:28 PM, and/or Robin Lemke wrote: We've always told him he has aspergers and adhd.  That is why he takes the pill he takes and why we see the dr now and then.  He knows this is where his energy comes from and that it is not necessaritly in his control.  But,,,,,he also knows that as he gets older,,,,,he has to adapt.  Whether this is getting a job that allows him the freedom of movement, etc. Coupled with aspergers,,,,,,,he knows that this gives him the ability to focus on his things longer than most could handle it.  This is also why he finds math and science so easy and why he gets calls from friends asking him about different levels of different games. He also knows that this is why he needs breaks.  He, as 10, is getting pretty good at learning when he "feels" he has to have a break (which is usually down time on the computer).  It's somewhere where he can focus on something other than the noise of the classroom, etc. But,,,,,,,he also knows that this is why it's hard, and will be hard, for him to find friends to relate to for long periods of time.  So,,,,,he's going to have to WORK at what comes naturally for others. Anyway,,,,,,,,,,,,that's why we tell him all about it.  He even recently wrote a lttle thing up for his school's social skills class telling what it's like to have aspergers. He wrote that it was no big deal for him and that everyone has something.  I was really proud that he got it.  Even if he was simply "reciting" what we tell him,,,,,,,I hope he eventually really "feels" that. I have copied a paper that my 8 yr old daughter wrote about my son, when it was autism awareness month.   When my son read it,,,,,he even smiled and said,,,,,"yeah,,,,,I like to help when we go camping."I hope you enjoy it.  I guess I'm kind of bragging on them a bit right now,,,,,,,,but maybe we all should do that a bit more.  I find myself too often the "no" person,,,,,,,that I think I should focus on some positives more. Robin     Awesome Things About Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders    By Lemke   My older brother has Aspergers.  He is 10 and his name is Ian. It is very hard to have a brother with this because we never know how he is going to feel.  Sometimes he is very angry and it is hard for him to concentrate or do what he has to do.  Sometimes my mom cries. I feel bad for him because he is treated differently at school and he does not have the friends he deserves. Sometimes I wish I did not have to see him because it’s hard to see him act wrong at school and be treated like he isn’t very smart.   He is really smart and he deserves to be treated right.  I wish I could make people let him play with them.  I think he is lonely there. He is really responsible when he is at home.  He just isn’t at school. He is great at math and people even call him to help them with their computer and video games. He is a great swimmer and does lots of tricks off the diving board and lots of tricks on his bike.  Last summer he took me to his hide-out on his bike.  It is at the steampits.  He and his friends have a fort there.  I enjoyed it a lot. When we go camping, he takes us up the hills, and when I say us, I mean me, him, Jack (our brother) and Sam (our sister).  Sometimes, he goes with us to the park and plays.  He has LOTS of energy. He also helps around the house.   Like today, he vacuumed and he took out the garbage. He also said he would help me with my video game. He is really funny, too.  I like that the most about him. I just love him.     Marcia <marciart@...> wrote: I think this is more along the lines of our approach, so like myself she can grow up feeling she is normal... though I have to say I had my suspicions along the way.. and in fact find some relief now in knowing that my oddities are more likely based on something out of my control and not that I was just a weirdo. LOLMarciaOn Apr 9, 2007, at 3:56 PM, jennifer_thorson wrote:> Our daughter is high functioning with a high IQ. She had a speech> delay but that is gone now at 5. She has social, behavior, and> sensory issues. We have stopped treating her like she is> different. We don't mention autism. When we treated her like there> was something wrong with her she was worse. She is worse in special> ed. So we are mainstreaming her and treating her like she is> normal. Of course I talk with her about her feelings regarding her> remaining issues, but I treat those as normal too. I teach her that> no one is perfect and we all have to control ourselves. Sometimes> we make mistakes. She relates well to this. So for us, this has> helped her cope.>> Jen>> , "lisalgreer" <lisalgreer@...>> wrote:>>>> Hi, all,>> I'd like to know if you have or have considered holding your> autistic>> child back a grade. My DD. 3.9 years old has normal intelligence,> and>> is high functioning so far, etc. Just wondering what you all did?> It>> came up at home here and I wonder because our daughter has a July>> birthday, too. Did you just wait to see how your child was going>> around age 5? My DH is already very opposed to even thinking about> it>> and I'm uncomfortable with that stance. He is saying she is normal> and>> I want her treated like it. Now, I'm not saying we WILL or won't do>> this... but I wonder if it should be an option. He would rather her>> fail later and hold her back then?? It was all just talk, but he> got>> very upset about it after a family member mentioned it.>>>> Any thoughts?>>>> >>>>>>>