Re: Cognitively Typical siblings of kids with AS

[Guest guest]

My sons are both on the spectrum. They both require alot of my mental

energy at times. Pam

[Guest guest]

I have a 3 yr old DD with AS. My 11 yr old DD and her get along but at a moments

notice they can fight and generally act like they hate each other. My 3 yr old

will spit now (her knew thing) when she gets frustrated. Drives her sister and

Dad crazy. He is still in big denial that she is AS.

Sorry I haven't been much help because mine fight too. I have no answers.

Tammie

( ) " Cognitively Typical " siblings of kids with AS

Hi!

Does anyone have issues with their child who's

" normal " , but has a sibling with AS? If so, what do

you do?

My " normal " almost 9-year-old girl is often more

difficult to deal with than her 6-year-old brother

with AS. She seems to resent him a lot (he's very

aggressive, mostly towards me). He's so

high-functioning (a definate blessing), but he's so

much so that 1) it was long and hard to get a

diagnosis, and 2) most people don't really believe it.

They just think he's being a brat (not so much now.

He's older and it's more obvious).

Any thoughts?

- Adrienne

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi!

>

> Does anyone have issues with their child who's

> " normal " , but has a sibling with AS? If so, what do

> you do?

>

> My " normal " almost 9-year-old girl is often more

> difficult to deal with than her 6-year-old brother

> with AS. She seems to resent him a lot (he's very

> aggressive, mostly towards me). He's so

> high-functioning (a definate blessing), but he's so

> much so that 1) it was long and hard to get a

> diagnosis, and 2) most people don't really believe it.

> They just think he's being a brat (not so much now.

> He's older and it's more obvious).

>

> Any thoughts?

>

> - Adrienne

>

> ________________

Hi Adrienne,

I just want to say I can totally relate - my son is 9 and high functioning to

the

point that some of our best friends' seem skeptical about his diagnosis - and

when he reacts a certain way (i.e. needs things to be 'his way' they think, what

a spoiled brat! It's sooo frustrating, isn't it?

And his 5 year old sister starts up a lot of the conflicts between them even

though she knows what she does to provoke him will result in trouble for her!!

eeeeh!!!

a

__________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, my 4 y/o DD is going through a bratty stage. Her tantrums are

severe, too. She just threw an encyclopedia at her 8 y/o brother

today while he was in time-out for antagonizing her. She did it

because her brother's friend told her to. Big brother's friend had to

leave, and DD was " grounded " for the day. She is having behavioral

problems on her own, but it doesn't help that she is learning from her

big brother, and he is an antagonist. I don't know WHAT her brother's

friend was doing telling her to throw an encyclopedia at him. He

claimed he was only kidding, but he apparently told her to throw it at

him when she only put it on his lap the first time. I am beginning to

wonder if he has some issues himself.

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Sorry my normal child is 15 months (sat) and my AS child is almost 6. So I can't

help you .

Again I am sorry.

Leanne R. Back

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Adrienne,

Yes, I have that problem as well. My AS son is 14 and

his NT sister is 11. She totally understands that he

has aspergers, but she gets to a point, (just like mom

and dad), where it just really gets on her nerves the

way he behaves around her at times.

She can be equally as frustrating at times. She has a

mouth on her. Not meaning to be mean, or sassy, it's

just the way she responds to things at times. She has

a hard time comprehending things at times, which is

strange, being that she is a straight-A student. She

can be more annoying than her brother at times and

drives us crazy. Not in the way her brother does, but

in her own way. There are so many times I fear that

she is going to end up hating me after she leaves home

to be on her own.

I don't know why she behaves the way she does. There

are times when I question if she has asperger's when

she behaves in that manner. But there is not enough

" markers " to prove she has asperger's. And for the

most part, I really would never think she does.

Consistancy and making sure she receives no more or

less for her behavior than her brother is basically

what we do here. We also do special things just for

her. It's hard now because she is 11 (she'll be 12 in

Nov.), and she looks like she's 14 or 15. She wants so

much to be grown up. She is more mature for her age

because of having an asperger's sibling. Kind of a

survival tactic, I guess. So we try and obtain a

balance between letting her " grow wings " and keeping

her grounded until she really is old enough for

certain things. And sometimes that means letting go a

little earlier than planned. She is entering middle

school this fall, and she wants so much to be like the

other girls. So we try and allow her to dress like

them as much as the clothes will allow (no belly

showing, no low-cut stuff). We recently went in a

place that sells earrings. She wants these big hoop

earrings. In my opinion, she is not old enough for

them. So I did allow her to have these dangle

earrings-remembering that she is growing up. (I wasn't

even allowed to get my ears pierced until I was a

senior in high school because my dad wouldn't allow my

sister or myself to get them pierced until we were

18.) So I'm learning to say, " Yes " a little more when

it comes to her.

I don't know. You have to find what works for you in

your situation. I guess it's mainly trial and error. I

did learn that I did so much problem-solving for her,

that she relied too much on me to always solve her

brother's behaviors towards her. So we are working on

her dealing with them now that she's older.

It is hard. Hang in there. Know that you aren't alone

in this as well. It can be rather frustrating. But

mine is a typical teenager. (Since girls now enter

their teens at 10 now!)

Melinda

[Guest guest]

You know, as to your daughter I have read more than once that the

relatives (it was specifically speaking of children and grandchildren

but I think it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to included siblings)

of those with AS often display AS symptoms without actually having the

disorder. Or at least not having it strong enough to be diagnosed.

In fact at first we thought that's what we might be seeing in Seth

since both of his grandfathers have AS and I suspect both his parents

do as well. But then it was obvious that his problems weren't

sometimes they were all the time so we moved to probably AS rather

than AS symptoms.

Amber

>

>

> Adrienne,

>

> Yes, I have that problem as well. My AS son is 14 and

> his NT sister is 11. She totally understands that he

> has aspergers, but she gets to a point, (just like mom

> and dad), where it just really gets on her nerves the

> way he behaves around her at times.

>

> She can be equally as frustrating at times. She has a

> mouth on her. Not meaning to be mean, or sassy, it's

> just the way she responds to things at times. She has

> a hard time comprehending things at times, which is

> strange, being that she is a straight-A student. She

> can be more annoying than her brother at times and

> drives us crazy. Not in the way her brother does, but

> in her own way. There are so many times I fear that

> she is going to end up hating me after she leaves home

> to be on her own.

>

> I don't know why she behaves the way she does. There

> are times when I question if she has asperger's when

> she behaves in that manner. But there is not enough

> " markers " to prove she has asperger's. And for the

> most part, I really would never think she does.

>

> Consistancy and making sure she receives no more or

> less for her behavior than her brother is basically

> what we do here. We also do special things just for

> her. It's hard now because she is 11 (she'll be 12 in

> Nov.), and she looks like she's 14 or 15. She wants so

> much to be grown up. She is more mature for her age

> because of having an asperger's sibling. Kind of a

> survival tactic, I guess. So we try and obtain a

> balance between letting her " grow wings " and keeping

> her grounded until she really is old enough for

> certain things. And sometimes that means letting go a

> little earlier than planned. She is entering middle

> school this fall, and she wants so much to be like the

> other girls. So we try and allow her to dress like

> them as much as the clothes will allow (no belly

> showing, no low-cut stuff). We recently went in a

> place that sells earrings. She wants these big hoop

> earrings. In my opinion, she is not old enough for

> them. So I did allow her to have these dangle

> earrings-remembering that she is growing up. (I wasn't

> even allowed to get my ears pierced until I was a

> senior in high school because my dad wouldn't allow my

> sister or myself to get them pierced until we were

> 18.) So I'm learning to say, " Yes " a little more when

> it comes to her.

>

> I don't know. You have to find what works for you in

> your situation. I guess it's mainly trial and error. I

> did learn that I did so much problem-solving for her,

> that she relied too much on me to always solve her

> brother's behaviors towards her. So we are working on

> her dealing with them now that she's older.

>

> It is hard. Hang in there. Know that you aren't alone

> in this as well. It can be rather frustrating. But

> mine is a typical teenager. (Since girls now enter

> their teens at 10 now!)

>

> Melinda

>

[Guest guest]

I have a daughter who is right on track developmentally (she's younger than my

son) but she mimics alot of his behavior b/c she LOOOOVES her big brother...she

smacks her ears and head, bangs her head, screams when he has a meltdown...and

she thinks it is all fun, so sometimes she is also ALOT harder to control than

my son! I don't really have any advice, I just feel your pain!

Adrienne Lehmann <adriennerob@...> wrote:

Hi!

Does anyone have issues with their child who's

" normal " , but has a sibling with AS? If so, what do

you do?

My " normal " almost 9-year-old girl is often more

difficult to deal with than her 6-year-old brother

with AS. She seems to resent him a lot (he's very

aggressive, mostly towards me). He's so

high-functioning (a definate blessing), but he's so

much so that 1) it was long and hard to get a

diagnosis, and 2) most people don't really believe it.

They just think he's being a brat (not so much now.

He's older and it's more obvious).

Any thoughts?

- Adrienne

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

My 3 year old NT daughter was busy playing the other day and she said she needed

to go to the toilet. I told her to just go but she said " No I'm right I think

I'll just wee in my nickers " When I tried to explain that she should use the

toilet because she is a big girl now, etc etc she replied " But Isaac's allowed

to wee in his pants " (he's almost 6 and still has accidents)

Beck

Re: ( ) " Cognitively Typical " siblings of kids with AS

I have a daughter who is right on track developmentally (she's younger than my

son) but she mimics alot of his behavior b/c she LOOOOVES her big brother...she

smacks her ears and head, bangs her head, screams when he has a meltdown...and

she thinks it is all fun, so sometimes she is also ALOT harder to control than

my son! I don't really have any advice, I just feel your pain!

Adrienne Lehmann <adriennerob@...> wrote:

Hi!

Does anyone have issues with their child who's

" normal " , but has a sibling with AS? If so, what do

you do?

My " normal " almost 9-year-old girl is often more

difficult to deal with than her 6-year-old brother

with AS. She seems to resent him a lot (he's very

aggressive, mostly towards me). He's so

high-functioning (a definate blessing), but he's so

much so that 1) it was long and hard to get a

diagnosis, and 2) most people don't really believe it.

They just think he's being a brat (not so much now.

He's older and it's more obvious).

Any thoughts?

- Adrienne

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I would have probably told her that Isaac's having trouble learning how - not

that he is being " allowed " to do it!

Roxanna

Re: ( ) " Cognitively Typical " siblings of kids with AS

My 3 year old NT daughter was busy playing the other day and she said she

needed to go to the toilet. I told her to just go but she said " No I'm right I

think I'll just wee in my nickers " When I tried to explain that she should use

the toilet because she is a big girl now, etc etc she replied " But Isaac's

allowed to wee in his pants " (he's almost 6 and still has accidents)

Beck

.