Re: Oh Great-Neighborhood Bully at the bus stop this year

[Guest guest]

I had a similar situation about 7 years ago...I moved...

Pam

[Guest guest]

That's the thing. We really don't want to move because we have 2 other

AS boys on the block and they are my son's best friends. They love

going to each other's houses. They go to private school though, so

they don't ride the bus.

I guess I should take heart that this is our third year at this

school, and they are very supportive of my son since his diagnosis

last school year. I think the school counselor would be quick to

intervene if we have any problems. I just hate the waiting game each

day to find out how he did in school each day. Now I will worry about

the bus too At least Thurs & Fri he will go to before & after

school care, so he will ride a different bus.

>

> I had a similar situation about 7 years ago...I moved...

>

> Pam

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

There's one of those in every neighborhood!...That kid whose mom is

never around, I still have not met one of my sons friends who walks

a mile to come see Brad,(He's been visiting since late March) but

hates him, the kid bullies and I just scream at the

kid " Leave my kid alone, or go home! "

The mom doesn't care to discipline her child, so I have to. For your

next door neighbor, I would just stand with them at the bus stop,

it's lucky for you that it's right in front, His mom won't be there

all year and tell the driver you DO NOT want those two sitting

anywhere near each other. Sometimes it's a personality clash and

Aspies are going to have many of those. Heck, I have a few my self,

a few too many ...My son is going into 4th this year and I so

don't want to be one of those moms who has to bark at every kid who

bothers my boy because I want him to be able to stick up for

himself, but after all, He has Asperger Syndrome, it's not like he

is like everyone else, So that's part of the death of a dream that

you have for your child when he first arrives in the world...Hang in

there and remember, sometimes you have to BARK!!!

>

> My son started 3rd grade this year. All the parents are friendly

and

> we have several kids in our neighborhood. They are all nice kids.

> Except one. He is starting Kindergarten this year. I was afraid of

> that. I wasn't sure if he would be at the bus stop this year

because

> his mom drives an older son from a previous marriage to another

> school district. The bus stop is right in front of our house, and

it

> actually felt pretty routine this year. Bully lives right next

door.

> He has had it out for my son from day 1. THey moved in when he was

3

> and my son was 6. I invited him to play in our back yard, and he

> made my son cry, threatening to poke his eye out with a stick. His

> mother does not watch him when he plays outside. We have had more

> run ins with him because of that. He ran over my son with his

kiddie

> 4-wheeler when I was around the corner of the house & didn't see

> what happened. Just heard the screaming and his mom said my

> son 'jumped in front of the 4 wheeler'. Yeah right. I think she

> knows we hate them. They are trashy. We just avoid them. The other

> day bully started to complain to me that my son was being mean to

> him. I just said that my son felt the same way and I wasn't going

to

> take his side. This kid has issues. I'm just not sure what. I'm

> usually willing to give kids the benefit of the doubt. I know my

son

> isn't perfect. But I do not want to even have to deal with seeing

> that little brat at the bus stop 3 days a week. At least he didn't

> say a word to my son this morning. Probably because his mother was

> actually around. There better not be any incidents on the bus or I

> will be on the warpath.

> Help!!

>

[Guest guest]

On Aug 16, 2006, at 10:40 AM, robbiandmartin2004 wrote:

> I just hate the waiting game each

> day to find out how he did in school each day.

OMG, you described my entire last year of school!

It appears that the other child with AS who rode our bus

last year is not on it this year. So, no aide, which my son

liked being there in the morning. There is one particular

NT child who says things to my son, so ds liked sitting

up by the aide, at least in the morning to get his day started off

well. He said he wanted me to drive him to school this morning,

which I did alot last year because it was just such a sucky year.

We'll have to see.

I just had another flashback about last year. I remember going

up to the teacher on Back to School night and asking if he had

been clued in about ph's special needs. I have very vivid

memories of feeling like I needed to ask at that point, because of the

presentation. And there are several things that I will probably never

forget.

But I just remembered one more thing he said that night which made me

think someone needed to hold my kid's hand.

Lesson learned: at Back to School night, if I think it might be a

long year...it will be.

Same thing happened to my other son several years ago.

Jackie

[Guest guest]

At least Thurs & Fri he will go to before & after

school care, so he will ride a different bus.

Question: Do you pay for the before/after care? And if you do, Do they

charge for the whole week or just the 2 days?

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I can bark lol

There was a problem child on the bus last year that I had to

instruct my son & the bus driver to never sit with after an incident

with my son. Bus driver was very nice. Gave me his cell number when

I explained DS is Aspie.

I always wait at the bus stop with him. Most of the other parents

do, but not all. I don't get that. We live in a safe area, but you

can never be safe from child snatching lunatics anywhere. It will be

interesting to see if this mom continues to wait at the bus stop

with him. He's in Kindergarten for cripes sake. I hope so.

My son can be argumentative when he is convinced he is right, and so

often I let him have the last word so he will drop it. But of course

other kids don't understand that. And I think some of the kids in

the neighborhood have a shorter fuse when it comes to that, because

he has argued with them before. He was arguing with other kids at

the bus stop about so and so being in 5th grade this year.

Yes he is

No he's not

Yes he is

No he's not

Arrrrrrrrghhhhhh!!!!!!!

Finally my son said he was talking about a different boy named M--.

That seemed to stop it. I hope this is a sign he is figuring out how

to stop arguing & save face. I have no idea what M-- he is talking

about.

> >

> > My son started 3rd grade this year. All the parents are friendly

> and

> > we have several kids in our neighborhood. They are all nice

kids.

> > Except one. He is starting Kindergarten this year. I was afraid

of

> > that. I wasn't sure if he would be at the bus stop this year

> because

> > his mom drives an older son from a previous marriage to another

> > school district. The bus stop is right in front of our house,

and

> it

> > actually felt pretty routine this year. Bully lives right next

> door.

> > He has had it out for my son from day 1. THey moved in when he

was

> 3

> > and my son was 6. I invited him to play in our back yard, and he

> > made my son cry, threatening to poke his eye out with a stick.

His

> > mother does not watch him when he plays outside. We have had

more

> > run ins with him because of that. He ran over my son with his

> kiddie

> > 4-wheeler when I was around the corner of the house & didn't see

> > what happened. Just heard the screaming and his mom said my

> > son 'jumped in front of the 4 wheeler'. Yeah right. I think she

> > knows we hate them. They are trashy. We just avoid them. The

other

> > day bully started to complain to me that my son was being mean

to

> > him. I just said that my son felt the same way and I wasn't

going

> to

> > take his side. This kid has issues. I'm just not sure what. I'm

> > usually willing to give kids the benefit of the doubt. I know my

> son

> > isn't perfect. But I do not want to even have to deal with

seeing

> > that little brat at the bus stop 3 days a week. At least he

didn't

> > say a word to my son this morning. Probably because his mother

was

> > actually around. There better not be any incidents on the bus or

I

> > will be on the warpath.

> > Help!!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

We pay for the B & A care. We have a childcare center around the corner

that is run by a wonderful church in the area. They have preschool,

all day Kindergarten, and B & A care. My son went to preschool & all

day Kindergarten there so he has some buds there.

There are only a few daycare centers in the area the school provides a

bus to. We are lucky this is one of them. It is closer to our house

than the school.

We used to pay a flat fee for the week, but 2 years ago they changed

to just charging for 2 days per week minimum, then only for the other

days he was there. Which was great, but I had already budgeted the

full amount into my childcare flexible spending account at work. So we

lost our shirts on that one. In restrospect, I should have told them

to charge us the full amount until the end of the year. Then they

could have gotten the money instead of the government. We had to pay

taxes on that money & a penalty too

So no more child care flexible spending account. I work 2-3 days per

week. It's never the same each week except Thurs & Fri. So I have no

idea what we will spend each year.

>

> At least Thurs & Fri he will go to before & after

> school care, so he will ride a different bus.

>

> Question: Do you pay for the before/after care? And if you do, Do

they

> charge for the whole week or just the 2 days?

>

[Guest guest]

I understand how you feel. I have had a similar problems with kids on the bus

before in previous years. I have suggestions on what may possibly work: I

spoke with the school administration and bus company about any potential

problems. Possibly an assigned seat for your son up front, and the bully in

back to keep them seperated. Some bus companies have cameras installed on the

bus. Possibly they can catch the bully in several acts and suspend him off the

bus indefinately.

[Guest guest]

Best Solution from Principle Ever --

When my son was in 4th grade, he had the bully problem. The principle's

solution was to bring both of them in the office and assign the bully as

protector for my son. Any problems, wheither he caused them or another child,

he would still take the sole punishment. They became great friends over the

school year, and (once the former bully), taught my son the basics of self

defense. It's probably the only decision that I agreed with from the man over

the course of two years!

France <myesha1987@...> wrote:

I understand how you feel. I have had a similar problems with kids on the bus

before in previous years. I have suggestions on what may possibly work: I spoke

with the school administration and bus company about any potential problems.

Possibly an assigned seat for your son up front, and the bully in back to keep

them seperated. Some bus companies have cameras installed on the bus. Possibly

they can catch the bully in several acts and suspend him off the bus

indefinately.

[Guest guest]

Very good point about letting his support system at school know. I

mentioned in an email to his school counselor that he was arguing

with kids at the bus stop. Will definately let her know about

potential bully. Isn't it sad I don't know their last name? Only

bully's first name. I'm sure the neighborhood Mrs Cravitz knows. I

will ask her & then let school counselor & bus driver know. At least

bully doesn't ride the bus home. And DS said everyone sat alone on

the bus today & he had no problems because 'at the beginning of the

school year, you don't have a lot of friends, but in the middle and

at the end, you have friends who sit with you when there is room'.

> > >

> > > My son started 3rd grade this year. All the parents are

friendly

> > and

> > > we have several kids in our neighborhood. They are all nice

> kids.

> > > Except one. He is starting Kindergarten this year. I was

afraid

> of

> > > that. I wasn't sure if he would be at the bus stop this year

> > because

> > > his mom drives an older son from a previous marriage to

another

> > > school district. The bus stop is right in front of our

house,

> and

> > it

> > > actually felt pretty routine this year. Bully lives right

next

> > door.

> > > He has had it out for my son from day 1. THey moved in when

he

> was

> > 3

> > > and my son was 6. I invited him to play in our back yard,

and he

> > > made my son cry, threatening to poke his eye out with a

stick.

> His

> > > mother does not watch him when he plays outside. We have had

> more

> > > run ins with him because of that. He ran over my son with

his

> > kiddie

> > > 4-wheeler when I was around the corner of the house & didn't

see

> > > what happened. Just heard the screaming and his mom said my

> > > son 'jumped in front of the 4 wheeler'. Yeah right. I think

she

> > > knows we hate them. They are trashy. We just avoid them. The

> other

> > > day bully started to complain to me that my son was being

mean

> to

> > > him. I just said that my son felt the same way and I wasn't

> going

> > to

> > > take his side. This kid has issues. I'm just not sure what.

I'm

> > > usually willing to give kids the benefit of the doubt. I

know my

> > son

> > > isn't perfect. But I do not want to even have to deal with

> seeing

> > > that little brat at the bus stop 3 days a week. At least he

> didn't

> > > say a word to my son this morning. Probably because his

mother

> was

> > > actually around. There better not be any incidents on the

bus or

> I

> > > will be on the warpath.

> > > Help!!

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>