Guest guest Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 thank you. i just forwarded this to my husband!! meg >From: on <cathrob@...> >Reply- > >Subject: Re: ( ) Re: spouses >Date: Wed, 31 May 2006 20:46:33 -0700 (PDT) > >We had some of those issues, in different form (my aspie son is 7 now) -- >milder, more passive resistance than outright resistance. As a result we >didn't do some ABA intervention that we should have/could have done, and I >wish we'd done. I think if we had we might have been able to send our son >to kindergarten without support -- he was clsoe to that. > > I would get the book Let Me Hear Your Voice, by Maurice. It's >so extremely convincing that it is possible to change the way the brain >works if you start early enough. > > That said, I also think there are many ways to help a child, and I've >personally seen at least two families handle the denial approach >beautifully. > > My 2 cents. > > > >pchristie06 <pchristie06@...> wrote: > I have to admit I was alot like your spouse. I was very reluctant >for a diagnoses. And once we did I really didn't want him or others >to know. I didn't want anyone to think there was something " wrong " >with him. I felt like that was who he was and I've always thought >he was wonderful. Since he is getting a little older (almost 5) I >am seeing more qualities in him that are going to make it so hard >for him to fit in to society and I see how others, including family, >look at him. So now I want to do what I can to help. So maybe in >time your husband will feel the same, > > >-- In , " megan kerns " ><megan7876@...> wrote: > > > > hi! so my nearly 2 year old has been given the diagnosis of pdd- >nos, which > > we suspect will become an as diagnosis in the next year or so. i >am writing > > today to see if anyone else meets with resistance from their >spouse, parents > > or inlaws for any treatment? > > > > my daughter is very much like my husband, and in fact we believe >he is > > undiagnosed as. hes afraid my worj with her school and the social >training > > will try and 'change' our interesting, brilliant and unique little >girl. > > his parents think she will now be 'labeled' mrdd and wont have any > > opportunity to foster what intelligence she has. > > > > my husband has also gone as far to say that while its ok for her >to now be > > in early intervention classes and therapies, once she hits >elemantary school > > age he wants her completely mainstreamed and with none of 'this' >on her > > record. i try and point out that school was a nightmare for him >(though hes > > a scientist now) and ask wouldnt he want things to be easier for >our > > daughter? he just keep going back to the idea that i cant change >her > > without ruining her and i feel we are at an impasse with this. > > > > any tips?? > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 I think that denial is a natural part of the process especially for men. My husband was the same but he soon came to realise that it wasn't going to just go away. Your daughter is still so young. Many of her more obvious ASD characteristics are still developing I would guess. I know for my husband it wasn't until our son finally began speaking that he realised it was more than just a speech problem. It took our son being verbal for my husband to realise that our child thinks differently from other kids. I would hang in there, seek out the services yourself and perhaps get your husband some literature on ASD's. I know it also helped my husband to read about children with AS and HFA and he then started to see our son in the descriptions he was reading. Beck ( ) spouses hi! so my nearly 2 year old has been given the diagnosis of pdd-nos, which we suspect will become an as diagnosis in the next year or so. i am writing today to see if anyone else meets with resistance from their spouse, parents or inlaws for any treatment? my daughter is very much like my husband, and in fact we believe he is undiagnosed as. hes afraid my worj with her school and the social training will try and 'change' our interesting, brilliant and unique little girl. his parents think she will now be 'labeled' mrdd and wont have any opportunity to foster what intelligence she has. my husband has also gone as far to say that while its ok for her to now be in early intervention classes and therapies, once she hits elemantary school age he wants her completely mainstreamed and with none of 'this' on her record. i try and point out that school was a nightmare for him (though hes a scientist now) and ask wouldnt he want things to be easier for our daughter? he just keep going back to the idea that i cant change her without ruining her and i feel we are at an impasse with this. any tips?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 great... btw, my husband's twin was an undiagnosed aspie too, and his whole family is somewhere on the spectrum.... megan kerns <megan7876@...> wrote: thank you. i just forwarded this to my husband!! meg >From: on <cathrob@...> >Reply- > >Subject: Re: ( ) Re: spouses >Date: Wed, 31 May 2006 20:46:33 -0700 (PDT) > >We had some of those issues, in different form (my aspie son is 7 now) -- >milder, more passive resistance than outright resistance. As a result we >didn't do some ABA intervention that we should have/could have done, and I >wish we'd done. I think if we had we might have been able to send our son >to kindergarten without support -- he was clsoe to that. > > I would get the book Let Me Hear Your Voice, by Maurice. It's >so extremely convincing that it is possible to change the way the brain >works if you start early enough. > > That said, I also think there are many ways to help a child, and I've >personally seen at least two families handle the denial approach >beautifully. > > My 2 cents. > > > >pchristie06 <pchristie06@...> wrote: > I have to admit I was alot like your spouse. I was very reluctant >for a diagnoses. And once we did I really didn't want him or others >to know. I didn't want anyone to think there was something " wrong " >with him. I felt like that was who he was and I've always thought >he was wonderful. Since he is getting a little older (almost 5) I >am seeing more qualities in him that are going to make it so hard >for him to fit in to society and I see how others, including family, >look at him. So now I want to do what I can to help. So maybe in >time your husband will feel the same, > > >-- In , " megan kerns " ><megan7876@...> wrote: > > > > hi! so my nearly 2 year old has been given the diagnosis of pdd- >nos, which > > we suspect will become an as diagnosis in the next year or so. i >am writing > > today to see if anyone else meets with resistance from their >spouse, parents > > or inlaws for any treatment? > > > > my daughter is very much like my husband, and in fact we believe >he is > > undiagnosed as. hes afraid my worj with her school and the social >training > > will try and 'change' our interesting, brilliant and unique little >girl. > > his parents think she will now be 'labeled' mrdd and wont have any > > opportunity to foster what intelligence she has. > > > > my husband has also gone as far to say that while its ok for her >to now be > > in early intervention classes and therapies, once she hits >elemantary school > > age he wants her completely mainstreamed and with none of 'this' >on her > > record. i try and point out that school was a nightmare for him >(though hes > > a scientist now) and ask wouldnt he want things to be easier for >our > > daughter? he just keep going back to the idea that i cant change >her > > without ruining her and i feel we are at an impasse with this. > > > > any tips?? > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 2, 2006 Report Share Posted June 2, 2006 Well, I'm going through the diagnosis process now w/ my ds now and he's almost 3...and my husband doesn't go along with it at all. I am pretty much at a loss except to say to try to take it one day at a time and hang on to the hope that he's your husband for a reason and he'll be there for you, your dd and your family when you really need him to be (or let's hope anyway) Good luck! megan kerns <megan7876@...> wrote: hi! so my nearly 2 year old has been given the diagnosis of pdd-nos, which we suspect will become an as diagnosis in the next year or so. i am writing today to see if anyone else meets with resistance from their spouse, parents or inlaws for any treatment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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