Re: need suggestions (& some venting)

[Guest guest]

Hello Jenni,

I would agree with the school??? instead of saying " My son is dangerous " .

Say yes! My son is " in " danger ! Since he is in your care(school) and you

don't know what happened just before the " meltdown " I feel my son is a target.

request an ABA behavioral assessment in writing. I don't think your son should

be punished before you know the whole story. Instead of using the word

" punished " I would use the word redirected, to find the trigger of the melt down

and redirect it before it gets explosive. request an observation report maybe

for the week or more to find out what is happening so your son can get the

appropriated help he needs. The behavior your son is doing in his meltdowns are

very visual. so, its easy for everyone to focus on him & blame him. its the

non-visual things (kids teasing, provoking him & don't get caught) that is hard

to find. during the observation you might want to have questions written so

they have to look for and answer these question: Was there a

change in routine?, was this(melt down) during unstructured time? you can add

some of your own questions that you already know would cause a melt down. the

school would have to focus on the question & answer it. hummm, now someone has a

job to do.... I'm sure other writers from this support group would help you

better with suggestions. This concern is important, I would put all concerns in

writing to the school and request the answers back in writing. this would help

if needed at a later time. good luck to you - P.S. Make sure they write

what happened just before the melt down regardless if the observer thinks that

was the cause or not. Also, the next person that says: " I am defending his

actions " Say, the word is called " ADVOCATING " !!! until you can tell me what

happened just before the melt down, have a strategies for my son, and get him

the appropriate help he needs, I will continue to advocate for him!!!! Good

luck to you both - Rose

jenni95542 <jenni95542@...> wrote:

I am fairly new to the board & could use some suggestions if you have

them. My soon-to-be 8yr old son has some pretty incredible " melt-

downs " . I can't seem to get his school to understand that his

behaviors happen because something has set him off. When I ask " what

happened? " ...they tell me what he did (screamed, stomped, hit, threw

a chair) not what happened before everything got out of control. I

get treated like I am defending his actions when all I am trying to

do is figure out what triggered things. I can't stand being told

that my son is " a danger " . I can't seem to get enough information

from them about what happen immediately before the incidents(most of

the time there isn't an adult present or they " just don't know what

happened " ) & I can't seem to get them to understand that while I know

we need a way to " discipline " him...there are ways to stop the

outburst before they happen or at least keep them fairly mellow. They

will not even entertain the idea of a personal aide but complain

about how much time he takes away from the class. Any suggestions on

maybe how to explain things to them or maybe help with getting the

information I want from them. I'm pulling my hair out because I know

tommorrow there will be another phone call or 2 from school & I'll be

even more frustrated.

Thanks for your time...

[Guest guest]

You might also try getting some clues from your son. It can a

little bit challenging. I've found asking real specific questions

can sometimes bring out why my son had a meltdown. Instead of

saying " what happened? " (the answer will always be " I don't know " ),

try being specific: " So, you were reading a book. Did you get to

finish it before the class ended? " might be answered with " NO! They

wanted me to stop and I wasn't done yet! " . This one happened to my

11 year old just last week. The teacher took his book away when he

didn't stop reading - not a good thing! Took me 4 or 5 questions to

get to the answer but we got there. Now we know. : )

> I am fairly new to the board & could use some suggestions if you

have

> them. My soon-to-be 8yr old son has some pretty incredible " melt-

> downs " . I can't seem to get his school to understand that his

> behaviors happen because something has set him off. When I

ask " what

> happened? " ...they tell me what he did (screamed, stomped, hit,

threw

> a chair) not what happened before everything got out of control.

I

> get treated like I am defending his actions when all I am trying

to

> do is figure out what triggered things. I can't stand being told

> that my son is " a danger " . I can't seem to get enough information

> from them about what happen immediately before the incidents(most

of

> the time there isn't an adult present or they " just don't know

what

> happened " ) & I can't seem to get them to understand that while I

know

> we need a way to " discipline " him...there are ways to stop the

> outburst before they happen or at least keep them fairly mellow.

They

> will not even entertain the idea of a personal aide but complain

> about how much time he takes away from the class. Any suggestions

on

> maybe how to explain things to them or maybe help with getting the

> information I want from them. I'm pulling my hair out because I

know

> tommorrow there will be another phone call or 2 from school & I'll

be

> even more frustrated.

> Thanks for your time...

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think its the overstimulation that makes him so mad. There have been reports

of autoantibodies that destroy meylin shealth in the brain. signal go slower and

overstimulation increases. If zinc is low a rage disorder devolpes. Zinc is

envolved in glucose metabolism, what I am saying the rage could be because food

cravings for food with quick energy release or fiber stripped away white bread.

He must learn to be able to relax on command. I picture a feather tickling my

back and I am not mad anymore. . Metabolism of zinc is distrupted by low

metallothein. This also raise copper to toxic levels and allows yeast to run

rappant and metal to build up. My symptoms get better all of them,aspergers is

really not as big of as a problem for me as I THOUGTH. If vitamin a is low

supplemented can help with eye contact.

I am fairly new to the board & could use some suggestions if you have

them. My soon-to-be 8yr old son has some pretty incredible " melt-

downs " . I can't seem to get his school to understand that his

behaviors happen because something has set him off. When I ask " what

happened? " ...they tell me what he did (screamed, stomped, hit, threw

a chair) not what happened before everything got out of control. I

get treated like I am defending his actions when all I am trying to

do is figure out what triggered things. I can't stand being told

that my son is " a danger " . I can't seem to get enough information

from them about what happen immediately before the incidents(most of

the time there isn't an adult present or they " just don't know what

happened " ) & I can't seem to get them to understand that while I know

we need a way to " discipline " him...there are ways to stop the

outburst before they happen or at least keep them fairly mellow. They

will not even entertain the idea of a personal aide but complain

about how much time he takes away from the class. Any suggestions on

maybe how to explain things to them or maybe help with getting the

information I want from them. I'm pulling my hair out because I know

tommorrow there will be another phone call or 2 from school & I'll be

even more frustrated.

Thanks for your time...

[Guest guest]

Hi :

I had this problem with my son when he was 4 yrs old...now he is 10

and still has an occassional problem. I solved many of my problems by

making a booklet for every person at the school who would come in

contact with my son. This booklet not only described his diagnosis but

also gave tips on teaching a child with Aspergers/HFA. I always give

the booklets at the end-of-year ARD so the new teachers will have time

to review over the summer or break. And I make sure to meet with them

right before school starts to let them know that I am involved and

want to know what is going on. I make sure to drop him off at school

every morning and put my cell phone number on everything just in case

I need a quick call. I explain to all who came in contact with my son

that most of the outbursts were a result of something happening within

the classroom. Too much noise and a class out of control is never

good for any child especially a child with Aspergers. Also, if your

son has a friend in class you may want to ask them what is going on.

If the teacher is not telling you then maybe one of the children

will. I hope this helps.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/7/2006 8:13:10 AM Eastern Standard Time,

jenni95542@... writes:

I am fairly new to the board & could use some suggestions if you have

them. My soon-to-be 8yr old son has some pretty incredible " melt-

downs " . I can't seem to get his school to understand that his

behaviors happen because something has set him off. When I ask " what

happened? " ...they tell me what he did (screamed, stomped, hit, threw

a chair) not what happened before everything got out of control. I

get treated like I am defending his actions when all I am trying to

do is figure out what triggered things. I can't stand being told

that my son is " a danger " . I can't seem to get enough information

from them about what happen immediately before the incidents(most of

the time there isn't an adult present or they " just don't know what

happened " ) & I can't seem to get them to understand that while I know

we need a way to " discipline " him...there are ways to stop the

outburst before they happen or at least keep them fairly mellow. They

will not even entertain the idea of a personal aide but complain

about how much time he takes away from the class. Any suggestions on

maybe how to explain things to them or maybe help with getting the

information I want from them. I'm pulling my hair out because I know

tommorrow there will be another phone call or 2 from school & I'll be

even more frustrated.

Thanks for your time...

Perhaps you should focus more on his rights - write a letter stating what

has been happening and how they are responding to the problem (just the facts,

not the emotion!) and then state that your son is not receiving a free and

appropriate education (FAPE). You then would like a functional behavior

assessment (FBA) to be done to determine the behaviors and their causes so that

you

can then work with the team to write a behavior plan (BP).

The thing is, you can argue back and forth with ignorant people all day.

You will never change their attitude or their mind. They don't realize what is

going on and they are placing him and others in danger by not providing

appropriate support. So do request (in writing) that they provide an aide for

him until the FBA and BP are completed. Make sure you stress that it is to

protect him as well as others. They might not care if he hurts himself but

they

will care if other kids get hurt. (that is actually how we got an aide in

middle school.)

Finally, the FBA needs to be done by someone who knows autism and ASD

behaviors so be sure to put that in your request. In addition, request that

this

person also do inservicing for the teachers and staff so that they learn how

to manage his behaviors and understand what ASD is.

A good website to read about FBA's is here -->

_http://cecp.air.org/schools_special.asp

Roxanna ô¿ö

Autism Happens

_ (http://cecp.air.org/schools_special.asp)

[Guest guest]

You need to request a Functional Behavior Assessment. Out of that

evaluation should come a POSITIVE behavior plan specifically for you son and

that

document should be attached to his IEP. Everyone working with him should

follow

that specific and consistent plan. This link is an example of a positive

behavior plan for a child with Autism/Asperger's. Pam

_Positive Behavior Support Plan - Autism1_

(http://www.advocatesforspecialkids.org/pb_plan_aut_1p.htm)

[Guest guest]

You would request it through your IEP team. Pam

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/8/2006 12:47:23 PM Eastern Standard Time,

suzannex6@... writes:

He has a " wrap around " now and she is to stay close to him.

Is this person provided by the school department? Pam

[Guest guest]

,

We have been going through this with our 9 year old this school year and it

has been tough. He was finally diagnosed AS/pdd-nos in December. I was going

to the school or getting calls almost daily. Now I have been telling them

about his behaviors since going into kindergarten but they didn't believe me

And they said they could handle anything he could dish out. Well when it

started happening they were clueless. The MFE was completed and we are to

sign the IEP today, the revised version with what we thought was needed and

appropriate. We asked for a FBA but the principle said she did 3 and didn't

think it was necessary, well okay then we told them they better have someone

trained in dealing with ASD help them do the behavior plan or we would be

formally requesting an appropriate FBA. I will be taking that letter with me

today in case I need to hand it to them.

My son was hitting , kicking , being disrespectful, running the classroom,

because he could and they were letting him and then BOOM they decided it

should go away now. Now that he has a diagnosis they wanted to send him to a

severe behavior classroom. Well they helped create the mountain and now they

need to do what is right. And sending my AS child there is not an option.

They tried to intimidate the doctor to get him to change his recommendations

He has a " wrap around " now and she is to stay close to him. She has been a

blessing. His grades have improved and so have his behaviors. If he starts

to melt down she removes him to a quiet place immediately, she gives him

extra breaks when he needs it so he is no longer the class ruler. I'm not

sure his classroom teacher likes the extra adult but not my problem. We are

now seeing that he has been reacting to the other kids comments and actions

not that he is just being mean and defiant, what a surprise. The worse part

is he is now labeled as the bad black kid in the school and may never

recover from that. We live in a mostly white middle to upper class school

district, so everything that goes wrong they look at him first now. This is

the one thing I told them better not happen when he came into the

kindergarten and they kept insisting there was nothing wrong. He had an ADHD

label then although the behaviors and a lot of other signs were there no one

had made the AS diagnosis yet. He has such a sweet side too and that is

showing again but it still not the same. He has been hurt by what has

happened this school year and I know it will take a long tome for that to go

away for him.

I am anxious to see what the finished IEP will look like but I am planning

on sending it to the Ohio Coalition for Children With Disabilities. The

representative there said she will go over it and make sure it is what we

need and that the school is in compliance. She has gotten 12 new families

from our school district this year, since January, calling with complaints

about what is going on with their special needs kids. Looks like our area

needs some parent training or a support group started.

It does seem like you need a FBA done though or the school will continue do

what they want and not what they should be doing for your son.

Suzanne

-- ( ) need suggestions ( & some venting)

I am fairly new to the board & could use some suggestions if you have

them. My soon-to-be 8yr old son has some pretty incredible " melt-

downs " . I can't seem to get his school to understand that his

behaviors happen because something has set him off. When I ask " what

happened? " ...they tell me what he did (screamed, stomped, hit, threw

a chair) not what happened before everything got out of control. I

get treated like I am defending his actions when all I am trying to

do is figure out what triggered things. I can't stand being told

that my son is " a danger " . I can't seem to get enough information

from them about what happen immediately before the incidents(most of

the time there isn't an adult present or they " just don't know what

happened " ) & I can't seem to get them to understand that while I know

we need a way to " discipline " him...there are ways to stop the

outburst before they happen or at least keep them fairly mellow. They

will not even entertain the idea of a personal aide but complain

about how much time he takes away from the class. Any suggestions on

maybe how to explain things to them or maybe help with getting the

information I want from them. I'm pulling my hair out because I know

tommorrow there will be another phone call or 2 from school & I'll be

even more frustrated.

Thanks for your time...

[Guest guest]

Who would I request this through (school, doctor??). Thanks for the info.

Misty Gillispie

mlgillispie1980@...

Re: ( ) need suggestions ( & some venting)

You need to request a Functional Behavior Assessment. Out of that

evaluation should come a POSITIVE behavior plan specifically for you son and

that

document should be attached to his IEP. Everyone working with him should

follow

that specific and consistent plan. This link is an example of a positive

behavior plan for a child with Autism/Asperger's. Pam

_Positive Behavior Support Plan - Autism1_

(http://www.advocatesforspecialkids.org/pb_plan_aut_1p.htm)

[Guest guest]

Our resource teacher just did one as part of the IEP requirements we got

in there, so I think the IEP might have to be the first step to make

sure it's in there.

- Kim

________________________________

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Misty Gillispie

Sent: Wednesday, March 08, 2006 11:11 AM

Subject: Re: ( ) need suggestions ( & some venting)

* Who would I request this through (school, doctor??). Thanks for

the info.

Misty Gillispie

mlgillispie1980@...

Re: ( ) need suggestions ( & some

venting)

You need to request a Functional Behavior Assessment...

The information contained in this e-mail is LVL7 confidential. Any use except

that authorized by LVL7 is prohibited. If you get this in error, please notify

the sender and delete this e-mail.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/8/2006 7:19:15 AM Pacific Standard Time,

ppanda65@... writes:

You need to request a Functional Behavior Assessment. Out of that

evaluation should come a POSITIVE behavior plan specifically for you son and

that

document should be attached to his IEP. Everyone working with him should

follow

who provides this ???

the school?

thx

joanne

[Guest guest]

The school should provide it, but make sure you document any and every date a

meeting or conversation takes place. This is the problem I am having right now

with my son's school, and I teach there.

Does your child already have an IEP or 504 plan?

Glenna

momwithattitude2@... wrote:

In a message dated 3/8/2006 7:19:15 AM Pacific Standard Time,

ppanda65@... writes:

You need to request a Functional Behavior Assessment. Out of that

evaluation should come a POSITIVE behavior plan specifically for you son and

that

document should be attached to his IEP. Everyone working with him should

follow

who provides this ???

the school?

thx

joanne

[Guest guest]

yes the school develops and performs the functional behavior assessment.

There are currently no federal mandates in relation to " how " the evaluation is

conducted, but the school is responsible for doing it. Sometimes it involves

the members of the IEP doing observations and consulting with the classroom

teacher about the difficult behaviors. Some school districts have an " autism

specialist " or bring one in from the outside as the " expert " . The link

below is an outline of what a Positive Behavior Plan COULD look like. Pam

_Positive Behavior Support Plan - _

(http://www.advocatesforspecialkids.org/pb_plan_selpa.htm)