Re: Bully question

[Guest guest]

This is a serious situation. Take pictures of the pencil marks on his arm.

I would set up an appointment to meet with the Dean of students. I would

also put in writing the request to not have him in any lunches or other social

situations with this child and present it to the Dean at this meeting. Never

just assume that a verbal request will be followed. I would also write in

some bully " skills " for J. on his IEP as a social goal. Since this is a

longstanding problem this needs to be addressed as " self advocacy skills " .

These

would be goals like " will be able to seek out an adult if he is

bullied by another student " , " will understand the protocol for reporting

someone who is bullying him " ...etc, etc. Pam

[Guest guest]

I completely agree with Pam's response. Make sure you put everything in

writing. Document, document, document. Obviously, the pictures are

another form of documentation, although they may not come out in as much

detail as you'd like. Make sure you take them, too, though. Write the

letter, and in it, request a meeting with the Dean. You can also follow

up with a call to schedule the meeting, but put it all in writing.

Good luck. I'm so sorry he has to deal with this. I believe my son (8

yrs old) is starting to get picked on, but he doesn't see it that way.

He just doesn't recognize when someone is being mean. I'm going to

watch carefully tomorrow during his class trip to the zoo. There is one

boy in particular who did some things during the last trip and his class

play. CJ mentions other things that the same boy has said and done

recently that are bothering me. I've already expressed concerns at the

last IEP meeting, while mentioning my concerns about social skills. The

teacher thinks the boy is fine, and doesn't mean anything by it, but

from what I've seen, I am not that sure. He seems like a generally

nice kid, but he does seem to be picking on CJ a bit. He is a younger

brother, so maybe it's a learned behavior, I don't know, but I am

definitely going to watch it and document with pictures if I can. Too

bad my digital camera doesn't capture sound (not a video camera). :-)

Good luck. I hope they respond appropriately, and that you get some

protections in his IEP.

Debbie (in NJ)

[Guest guest]

You know what Melinda, I have kept my mouth shut for years when my

non-aspies complained and told them, kids do that sometimes but you know

what ......I'm over that. Other parents call about some really stupid stuff

and I know my AS son got blamed for a boat load of stuff he didn't do. There

were kids that blamed him for saying things that when the principle

investigated she found out that they had made it up either to get him in

trouble or because someone else was in the spotlight in his life and they

didn't like that either.

Any way, when my son got tired of being bullied all the time he started

getting even and then he got in major trouble because once he would start a

rage he couldn't just shut it off.

Our kids don't deserve to be bullied and I have a new commitment to my kids,

that if some one is harassing them I'm calling. I have younger kids going

into school and I'm not putting up with any of this anymore. This has been a

horrid year for us and none of my kids will be bullied again.

Suzanne

-- ( ) Bully question

I sent a post last night, but it never showed up.

was complaining last night from some places on

his arm (3 I believe) where another student had

deliberately poked him with a pencil. There are 3

holes and one of them drew blood. Apparently this kid

has been harrassing since Feb. by taking his

stuff from him and making him get it back or plead for

it back.

This kid has a history of bullying from the

school he was at before this one. He's also gotten in

big trouble from what he did at the other school not

only with , but with another student as well.

My question is regarding a request that this child not

be placed on any lunch schedule (where this is

happening this year) or in any class with .

Should I put it in writing before I go to speak with

the dean today? Or should I just allow it to be

verbal? Or should I request it verbally today and then

follow up with a reminder in writing?

I am not sure how the school is going to react. I fear

that they are going to dismiss it for the fact that

didn't come to them himself. We discussed that

at length with him last night. It really breaks my

heart that he's been enduring it this long w/out

telling anyone.

It's hard for me as a parent because I believe it

needs to be reported (especially with the pencil

breaking skin), but don't want to look as if I'm

babying him. I wish today was the last day of school

so he doesn't have to possibly be badgered by this kid

tomorrow for " tattle-telling " if he is the kind that

will retaliate.

Well, I almost made it through the year.

Thanks for your advice regarding the request.

Melinda

[Guest guest]

Melinda,

Not only is it harassing but harmful. Your son could have gotten lead

poisoning from this incident. I have had similar issues with a classmate

stabbing my son in the hand with a pencil, and not telling the

teacher, this happened on two different days. I did go straight to the

principal, and demand that something was done. There is the " No tolerance "

policy that I, as a parent of special needs kids makes sure that is enforced

I would demand also a meeting with the teacher, the principal and the boys

parents. I have done this as well, and told them that if it continues that

I will get my attorney. Harassing of any kind is illegal, and at that point

the school takes you seriously as well. They don't want any problems, nor

should the parent of the bully. I feel horrible for , no child should

have to deal with fear, embarresment, hazing, bullying. What this child is

doine to your son is against the law. Stabbing your son is ASSAULT and is

punishable. Please let me know what happens.

Sincerely,

Janelle

I live in a spectrum, everyday is a different color

-- ( ) Bully question

I sent a post last night, but it never showed up.

was complaining last night from some places on

his arm (3 I believe) where another student had

deliberately poked him with a pencil. There are 3

holes and one of them drew blood. Apparently this kid

has been harrassing since Feb. by taking his

stuff from him and making him get it back or plead for

it back.

This kid has a history of bullying from the

school he was at before this one. He's also gotten in

big trouble from what he did at the other school not

only with , but with another student as well.

My question is regarding a request that this child not

be placed on any lunch schedule (where this is

happening this year) or in any class with .

Should I put it in writing before I go to speak with

the dean today? Or should I just allow it to be

verbal? Or should I request it verbally today and then

follow up with a reminder in writing?

I am not sure how the school is going to react. I fear

that they are going to dismiss it for the fact that

didn't come to them himself. We discussed that

at length with him last night. It really breaks my

heart that he's been enduring it this long w/out

telling anyone.

It's hard for me as a parent because I believe it

needs to be reported (especially with the pencil

breaking skin), but don't want to look as if I'm

babying him. I wish today was the last day of school

so he doesn't have to possibly be badgered by this kid

tomorrow for " tattle-telling " if he is the kind that

will retaliate.

Well, I almost made it through the year.

Thanks for your advice regarding the request.

Melinda

[Guest guest]

Don't hesitate to keep him home either.. Explain your reasons too.. And make

sure it is in the IEP for next year.. Zero tolerance should be the word for

the day.. And bullying only gets worse if not dealt with.

As for your son not doing the actual telling.. Its a sad day when.. That

would be the protocol.. I hope that isnt true of your school board..

Please keep us updated Hon..

-- ( ) Bully question

I sent a post last night, but it never showed up.

was complaining last night from some places on

his arm (3 I believe) where another student had

deliberately poked him with a pencil. There are 3

holes and one of them drew blood. Apparently this kid

has been harrassing since Feb. by taking his

stuff from him and making him get it back or plead for

it back.

This kid has a history of bullying from the

school he was at before this one. He's also gotten in

big trouble from what he did at the other school not

only with , but with another student as well.

My question is regarding a request that this child not

be placed on any lunch schedule (where this is

happening this year) or in any class with .

Should I put it in writing before I go to speak with

the dean today? Or should I just allow it to be

verbal? Or should I request it verbally today and then

follow up with a reminder in writing?

I am not sure how the school is going to react. I fear

that they are going to dismiss it for the fact that

didn't come to them himself. We discussed that

at length with him last night. It really breaks my

heart that he's been enduring it this long w/out

telling anyone.

It's hard for me as a parent because I believe it

needs to be reported (especially with the pencil

breaking skin), but don't want to look as if I'm

babying him. I wish today was the last day of school

so he doesn't have to possibly be badgered by this kid

tomorrow for " tattle-telling " if he is the kind that

will retaliate.

Well, I almost made it through the year.

Thanks for your advice regarding the request.

Melinda

[Guest guest]

Amen!! I told the school that my child was ( under the constant bullying

) either going to become homicidal or suicidal.. If this continued.. And I

was going to make damn sure it wasn't suicidal.. So they had better deal

with it NOW!

Get strong.. and protect him.

-- ( ) Bully question

I sent a post last night, but it never showed up.

was complaining last night from some places on

his arm (3 I believe) where another student had

deliberately poked him with a pencil. There are 3

holes and one of them drew blood. Apparently this kid

has been harrassing since Feb. by taking his

stuff from him and making him get it back or plead for

it back.

This kid has a history of bullying from the

school he was at before this one. He's also gotten in

big trouble from what he did at the other school not

only with , but with another student as well.

My question is regarding a request that this child not

be placed on any lunch schedule (where this is

happening this year) or in any class with .

Should I put it in writing before I go to speak with

the dean today? Or should I just allow it to be

verbal? Or should I request it verbally today and then

follow up with a reminder in writing?

I am not sure how the school is going to react. I fear

that they are going to dismiss it for the fact that

didn't come to them himself. We discussed that

at length with him last night. It really breaks my

heart that he's been enduring it this long w/out

telling anyone.

It's hard for me as a parent because I believe it

needs to be reported (especially with the pencil

breaking skin), but don't want to look as if I'm

babying him. I wish today was the last day of school

so he doesn't have to possibly be badgered by this kid

tomorrow for " tattle-telling " if he is the kind that

will retaliate.

Well, I almost made it through the year.

Thanks for your advice regarding the request.

Melinda

[Guest guest]

>

> I sent a post last night, but it never showed up.

>

> was complaining last night from some places on

> his arm (3 I believe) where another student had

> deliberately poked him with a pencil. There are 3

> holes and one of them drew blood. Apparently this kid

> has been harrassing since Feb. by taking his

> stuff from him and making him get it back or plead for

> it back.

>

> This kid has a history of bullying from the

> school he was at before this one. He's also gotten in

> big trouble from what he did at the other school not

> only with , but with another student as well.

>

> My question is regarding a request that this child not

> be placed on any lunch schedule (where this is

> happening this year) or in any class with .

> Should I put it in writing before I go to speak with

> the dean today? Or should I just allow it to be

> verbal? Or should I request it verbally today and then

> follow up with a reminder in writing?

>

> I am not sure how the school is going to react. I fear

> that they are going to dismiss it for the fact that

> didn't come to them himself. We discussed that

> at length with him last night. It really breaks my

> heart that he's been enduring it this long w/out

> telling anyone.

>

> It's hard for me as a parent because I believe it

> needs to be reported (especially with the pencil

> breaking skin), but don't want to look as if I'm

> babying him. I wish today was the last day of school

> so he doesn't have to possibly be badgered by this kid

> tomorrow for " tattle-telling " if he is the kind that

> will retaliate.

>

> Well, I almost made it through the year.

>

> Thanks for your advice regarding the request.

>

> Melinda

>

Dear Melinda,

According to both the s (two lawyers who run the slaw

special ed law website and regularly hold conferences on special ed

law) and (another special ed lawyer), any school that

tolerates bullying is violating the IDEA, which guarantees every

student with a disability a " free and appropriate public education " in

the " least restrictive environment. " Any school that allows one

student to bully another is denying the victim an appropriate

education. After all, who can learn in an environment where he risks

injury and harassment every day? I think instead of fearing that the

school won't take you seriously, you need to make it clear to them

(yes, in writing as well as face to face) that you will not tolerate

the situation. After all, the school system is there to serve you and

-- not to make it possible for students to harass and injure

each other. Not only should be kept out of the same classroom

or lunchroom with this student, he should be assured that no other

student will bully him. If the school principal can't guarantee this,

then has the right to be placed in a more appropriate

educational setting (say, a private school) at the school system's

expense. In addition, the student in question should be made to

understand that bullying anyone is not permitted. Perhaps the bully

is the one who should be placed in a special program or classroom! If

I were in your place, I would take a photo of the pencil marks on

's arm and keep it in case you need it for future legal action,

if the school does not respond to your complaint.

If one child is getting away with bullying , chances are that

there's something wrong with the school environment as a whole.

Perhaps the entire school needs to experience an anti-bullying program

(I know that several of these exist, but I don't have the information

readily available. Roxanna? Pam? Do you?)

Good luck talking with the Dean today. Melinda, you have learned a

lot about advocating for over the past few years. Here's a

situation where you can use every tactic you have learned!

Jill

[Guest guest]

>>>>Not only is it harassing but harmful. Your son could have gotten lead

poisoning from this incident. <<<<<

No, he couldn't get lead poisoning from a pencil. Pencils are made with

graphite, not lead.

...· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Mystic -:¦:-

-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

[Guest guest]

Very true, but if the lead is embedded deep enough, he will have

permanent grey dots in his skin. I know, I have a light blue line on my

arm from falling on a pencil in grade school J

Re: ( ) Bully question

>>>>Not only is it harassing but harmful. Your son could have gotten

lead

poisoning from this incident. <<<<<

No, he couldn't get lead poisoning from a pencil. Pencils are made with

graphite, not lead.

...· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Mystic -:¦:-

-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*