Guest guest Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 Honestly, I wish someone had said something to me. I had no clue what Aspergers was - i'd never heard of it. I knew there was something odd but didn't know what it was. Because of that, my DS didn't get diagnosed until the second grade. I wish I had known earlier. > > If your child belongs to a club at school. and you see another parent > their with their 2 year old. and the 2 year old is running around all > over, the parent looks exhausted and says maybe she's overtired. (last > time their, child ran into the wall & needed stitches). you notice > the 2 year old doing a lot of things that an AS child would do. she > takes " all " the chairs, lines them up. they have to be perfect. does > not respond to her name. can't understand anything she says but > messy, (when someone else moves the chairs to pass)she will scream. > she gets frustrated easily. She also has no fear of danger. will run > across all the chairs that she lined up. can't distract her. ext... > another parent walked besides her while she ran across the > chairs, " just incase she falls " . then left to another area, because > the child ran faster. > > Would you say anything to the parent? or, pretend like you don't see > anything, like all the other parents? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 I wouldn't say anything now. He is very young and just an example. I had a boy I watched from the age of 6 weeks until he was 2 1/2. He began to hand flap when he was 10-11 months old when he got excited. I thought the same thing should I say something? Well I decided to wait and guess what the hand flapping stopped on it's own at the age of 14 months and was never seen again. I think we should hold our tongues unless it's beyond obvious. Why worry some one for no reason. I always think back and know I did the right thing. AS, OCD, ADHD, ADD or other diagnosis can appear to have similar symptoms. I don't think we should guess. Ann ( ) Re: would you say anything? Honestly, I wish someone had said something to me. I had no clue what Aspergers was - i'd never heard of it. I knew there was something odd but didn't know what it was. Because of that, my DS didn't get diagnosed until the second grade. I wish I had known earlier. > > If your child belongs to a club at school. and you see another parent > their with their 2 year old. and the 2 year old is running around all > over, the parent looks exhausted and says maybe she's overtired. (last > time their, child ran into the wall & needed stitches). you notice > the 2 year old doing a lot of things that an AS child would do. she > takes " all " the chairs, lines them up. they have to be perfect. does > not respond to her name. can't understand anything she says but > messy, (when someone else moves the chairs to pass)she will scream. > she gets frustrated easily. She also has no fear of danger. will run > across all the chairs that she lined up. can't distract her. ext... > another parent walked besides her while she ran across the > chairs, " just incase she falls " . then left to another area, because > the child ran faster. > > Would you say anything to the parent? or, pretend like you don't see > anything, like all the other parents? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 Thank you, I got lots of responses, some say with all the things available out there now. its best to let them know. but, one never knows how someone will respond to that, some people appreciate it, and some become very upset over it. last year, the school told a woman her daughter needs to be tested for adhd. when she found out her daughter did get DX, with ADHD, she was very upset with the person who recommended the testing. (till today). not speaking to her. Like you said. what if its nothing? I might worry these parents for nothing. than, if it is something, the 2 year old can get the help she needs. I will think this out. thank you - Rose Easter Seals <easterseals@...> wrote: I wouldn't say anything now. He is very young and just an example. I had a boy I watched from the age of 6 weeks until he was 2 1/2. He began to hand flap when he was 10-11 months old when he got excited. I thought the same thing should I say something? Well I decided to wait and guess what the hand flapping stopped on it's own at the age of 14 months and was never seen again. I think we should hold our tongues unless it's beyond obvious. Why worry some one for no reason. I always think back and know I did the right thing. AS, OCD, ADHD, ADD or other diagnosis can appear to have similar symptoms. I don't think we should guess. Ann ( ) Re: would you say anything? Honestly, I wish someone had said something to me. I had no clue what Aspergers was - i'd never heard of it. I knew there was something odd but didn't know what it was. Because of that, my DS didn't get diagnosed until the second grade. I wish I had known earlier. > > If your child belongs to a club at school. and you see another parent > their with their 2 year old. and the 2 year old is running around all > over, the parent looks exhausted and says maybe she's overtired. (last > time their, child ran into the wall & needed stitches). you notice > the 2 year old doing a lot of things that an AS child would do. she > takes " all " the chairs, lines them up. they have to be perfect. does > not respond to her name. can't understand anything she says but > messy, (when someone else moves the chairs to pass)she will scream. > she gets frustrated easily. She also has no fear of danger. will run > across all the chairs that she lined up. can't distract her. ext... > another parent walked besides her while she ran across the > chairs, " just incase she falls " . then left to another area, because > the child ran faster. > > Would you say anything to the parent? or, pretend like you don't see > anything, like all the other parents? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2005 Report Share Posted December 10, 2005 I was trying to catch up...was reading this...and had to reply. As a mother who is completely NEW to this...and has recently pinpointed what might be going on with her child BY HERSELF (3 play therapists..and nobody thought he might have more than post traumatic stress), I would say that YES, you should say something!!! My reasoning for this...I have tried for years to figure out what was " wrong " with my son. In the last couple of years, his behaviors have intensified, and I too have been EXHAUSTED, as the woman looked when her child was doing this. I would have been somewhat upset, but more greatful than anything if someone would have given me a possible CLUE to what he was doing. In that case, it seems to me that it was extreme enough that this was a real possibility for the girl. There is obvioulsy more than just one red flag there. The mother is probably, like myself, absolutely beside herself when she sees that sort of behavior from her child. To know that she is not alone, and that there may be a reasonable explanation, could mean the world to her!!! Done in a soft, loving way, I think you should say something!! beachbodytan2002 <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: If your child belongs to a club at school. and you see another parent their with their 2 year old. and the 2 year old is running around all over, the parent looks exhausted and says maybe she's overtired. (last time their, child ran into the wall & needed stitches). you notice the 2 year old doing a lot of things that an AS child would do. she takes " all " the chairs, lines them up. they have to be perfect. does not respond to her name. can't understand anything she says but messy, (when someone else moves the chairs to pass)she will scream. she gets frustrated easily. She also has no fear of danger. will run across all the chairs that she lined up. can't distract her. ext... another parent walked besides her while she ran across the chairs, " just incase she falls " . then left to another area, because the child ran faster. Would you say anything to the parent? or, pretend like you don't see anything, like all the other parents? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2005 Report Share Posted December 11, 2005 I already gave my own comment about this that agrees with you, but one thing I forgot to add is that a friend of mine did not share with me that she thought Ethan had autism, and at the time I felt VERY angry with her that she suspected for a year and did not tell me. Again, this was a personal friend and not a complete stranger, but still..... > > I was trying to catch up...was reading this...and had to reply. > > As a mother who is completely NEW to this...and has recently pinpointed what might be going on with her child BY HERSELF (3 play therapists..and nobody thought he might have more than post traumatic stress), I would say that YES, you should say something!!! > > My reasoning for this...I have tried for years to figure out what was " wrong " with my son. In the last couple of years, his behaviors have intensified, and I too have been EXHAUSTED, as the woman looked when her child was doing this. I would have been somewhat upset, but more greatful than anything if someone would have given me a possible CLUE to what he was doing. In that case, it seems to me that it was extreme enough that this was a real possibility for the girl. There is obvioulsy more than just one red flag there. > > The mother is probably, like myself, absolutely beside herself when she sees that sort of behavior from her child. To know that she is not alone, and that there may be a reasonable explanation, could mean the world to her!!! > > Done in a soft, loving way, I think you should say something!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2005 Report Share Posted December 11, 2005 Dear , thank you for your response. Happy Holidays, I will see this Mom either thursday or tuesday. Maybe I will try to say one sentence and she how she responds to that. If its nothing I would be happy for them. but, if its something maybe they can get help. - Rose Schetrompf <bswch44@...> wrote: I was trying to catch up...was reading this...and had to reply. As a mother who is completely NEW to this...and has recently pinpointed what might be going on with her child BY HERSELF (3 play therapists..and nobody thought he might have more than post traumatic stress), I would say that YES, you should say something!!! My reasoning for this...I have tried for years to figure out what was " wrong " with my son. In the last couple of years, his behaviors have intensified, and I too have been EXHAUSTED, as the woman looked when her child was doing this. I would have been somewhat upset, but more greatful than anything if someone would have given me a possible CLUE to what he was doing. In that case, it seems to me that it was extreme enough that this was a real possibility for the girl. There is obvioulsy more than just one red flag there. The mother is probably, like myself, absolutely beside herself when she sees that sort of behavior from her child. To know that she is not alone, and that there may be a reasonable explanation, could mean the world to her!!! Done in a soft, loving way, I think you should say something!! beachbodytan2002 <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: If your child belongs to a club at school. and you see another parent their with their 2 year old. and the 2 year old is running around all over, the parent looks exhausted and says maybe she's overtired. (last time their, child ran into the wall & needed stitches). you notice the 2 year old doing a lot of things that an AS child would do. she takes " all " the chairs, lines them up. they have to be perfect. does not respond to her name. can't understand anything she says but messy, (when someone else moves the chairs to pass)she will scream. she gets frustrated easily. She also has no fear of danger. will run across all the chairs that she lined up. can't distract her. ext... another parent walked besides her while she ran across the chairs, " just incase she falls " . then left to another area, because the child ran faster. Would you say anything to the parent? or, pretend like you don't see anything, like all the other parents? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 Here is another edge on whether to inform someone of your suspicions: working in a child daycare setting I have seen a few kids who worry me in regards to their development, but the hitch is that I legally CANNOT offer any advice or hint of my concerns! We have to wait for the child to enter kindergarten to have the teacher bring up matters before we can offer confirmation of our suspicions with a parent. It is extremely heart-wrenching and disabling to watch a child struggle and not be able to point in directions which might help; especially since early intervention is such a key to successfully overcoming many obstacles. I have on a couple of occasions skirted the technicalities of this confine - if the parent expresses any self- directed ponderings - with incidental remarks about my own child who I tell them has some " delays. " I throw in my gratitude to the Public Health Unit for being an excellent source of information as a means of guidance. > If your child belongs to a club at school. and you see another parent > their with their 2 year old. and the 2 year old is running around all > over, the parent looks exhausted and says maybe she's overtired. (last > time their, child ran into the wall & needed stitches). you notice > the 2 year old doing a lot of things that an AS child would do. she > takes " all " the chairs, lines them up. they have to be perfect. does > not respond to her name. can't understand anything she says but > messy, (when someone else moves the chairs to pass)she will scream. > she gets frustrated easily. She also has no fear of danger. will run > across all the chairs that she lined up. can't distract her. ext... > another parent walked besides her while she ran across the > chairs, " just incase she falls " . then left to another area, because > the child ran faster. > > Would you say anything to the parent? or, pretend like you don't see > anything, like all the other parents? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 Dear Velvet, so many people are still writing in with the same interest you have that the parents should be informed at least about early interventions. I only had one person, that wrote I should wait because things can change " with the child " . I will see these parents again on Thursday or next Tuesday. I will start with one sentence and she how their interest is with that. When I was just watching the 2 year old with many concerns. Her father had many excuses for each thing his child did. Sometimes, it seems when a parent makes or has excuses for their child's behavior, they would not want to hear about early interventions, or therapy. But I wanted to know what you guys would do. and everybody said, they would speak to the parents. I'll let you know how that goes. - Rose Velvet <johnvel@...> wrote: Here is another edge on whether to inform someone of your suspicions: working in a child daycare setting I have seen a few kids who worry me in regards to their development, but the hitch is that I legally CANNOT offer any advice or hint of my concerns! We have to wait for the child to enter kindergarten to have the teacher bring up matters before we can offer confirmation of our suspicions with a parent. It is extremely heart-wrenching and disabling to watch a child struggle and not be able to point in directions which might help; especially since early intervention is such a key to successfully overcoming many obstacles. I have on a couple of occasions skirted the technicalities of this confine - if the parent expresses any self- directed ponderings - with incidental remarks about my own child who I tell them has some " delays. " I throw in my gratitude to the Public Health Unit for being an excellent source of information as a means of guidance. > If your child belongs to a club at school. and you see another parent > their with their 2 year old. and the 2 year old is running around all > over, the parent looks exhausted and says maybe she's overtired. (last > time their, child ran into the wall & needed stitches). you notice > the 2 year old doing a lot of things that an AS child would do. she > takes " all " the chairs, lines them up. they have to be perfect. does > not respond to her name. can't understand anything she says but > messy, (when someone else moves the chairs to pass)she will scream. > she gets frustrated easily. She also has no fear of danger. will run > across all the chairs that she lined up. can't distract her. ext... > another parent walked besides her while she ran across the > chairs, " just incase she falls " . then left to another area, because > the child ran faster. > > Would you say anything to the parent? or, pretend like you don't see > anything, like all the other parents? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 I was visiting a local pre-school and knew of a child that appeared to have AS that attended. While playing outside with them I picked the child out discretely and watched her. When my AS son interacted with her and she inappropriately responded, I approached the mother and appologized as if my son were the culprit. I explained that my son has AS----please understand this is the first time I have blamed my son like this, but I did it to break the ice. He didn't know I blamed him for the incident. I said he has AS and he doesn't always understand. It was a sneaky way to get her to open up and feel like her child isn't alone. She was very exicted to meet a mother with a child with AS and told me she was exploring that avenue with her dd. We chatted on the phone later and I was able to get her to attend our support group meeting the next night and since. She has since gotten the dx and the services her child needs. It doesn't always work that way, and the parents sometimes are in denial. You can turn things around and relate to the parent your child's qualities that are similar to their child and that your child has a dx because of abcdefg...which is just like what you see in their child. This may be a gentle approach that you need to take when you are not sure how well someone will respond. Try it, you may help a child get the support they need--and the parents. Kirsten Hargis Partners in Policymaking, 2004-2005 The information transmitted is intended only for the person or entity to which is addressed and may contain confidential and / or privileged material. Any review, retransmission, dissemation or other use of, or taking of any action in reliance upon, this information by persons or entities other than the intended recipient is prohibited. This message is intended only for the use of the addressee and may contain information that is privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. Under protection of Federal Confidentiality Rules (42 CFR Part 2). The Federal Rules prohibit you from making any further disclosure of this information unless further disclosure is expressly permitted by the written consent of the person to whom it pertains or as permitted by 42 CFR Part 2. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply e-mail and destroy all copies of the original message. Thank You --------------------------------- Find Great Deals on Holiday Gifts at Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 Dear Kirsten, that is a good approach. the childs parents are well aware of my son having AS. I was going to bring that up, the way you did, but instead I stopped myself because their was another parent their that has a child with AS and didn't say anything either. The parents had good excuses for their child's behavior. she did try to help the child but at a good opportunity left all together. No one wanted to see that child get hurt again. Last time she needed stitches because she ran very fast into the wall and hit her head. It was amazing that she didn't get hurt running across the chairs. It was exhausting for adults to keep up with her. I let others from this site know, I will probable see them Thursday or next Tuesday. I will start with a sentence and see how they respond. I will also let everyone know how that turned out. thanks for responding - Rose Kirsten Hargis <k_hargis2004@...> wrote: I was visiting a local pre-school and knew of a child that appeared to have AS that attended. While playing outside with them I picked the child out discretely and watched her. When my AS son interacted with her and she inappropriately responded, I approached the mother and appologized as if my son were the culprit. I explained that my son has AS----please understand this is the first time I have blamed my son like this, but I did it to break the ice. He didn't know I blamed him for the incident. I said he has AS and he doesn't always understand. It was a sneaky way to get her to open up and feel like her child isn't alone. She was very exicted to meet a mother with a child with AS and told me she was exploring that avenue with her dd. We chatted on the phone later and I was able to get her to attend our support group meeting the next night and since. She has since gotten the dx and the services her child needs. It doesn't always work that way, and the parents sometimes are in denial. You can turn things around and relate to the parent your child's qualities that are similar to their child and that your child has a dx because of abcdefg...which is just like what you see in their child. This may be a gentle approach that you need to take when you are not sure how well someone will respond. Try it, you may help a child get the support they need--and the parents. Kirsten Hargis Partners in Policymaking, 2004-2005 The information transmitted is intended only for the person or entity to which is addressed and may contain confidential and / or privileged material. Any review, retransmission, dissemation or other use of, or taking of any action in reliance upon, this information by persons or entities other than the intended recipient is prohibited. This message is intended only for the use of the addressee and may contain information that is privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. Under protection of Federal Confidentiality Rules (42 CFR Part 2). The Federal Rules prohibit you from making any further disclosure of this information unless further disclosure is expressly permitted by the written consent of the person to whom it pertains or as permitted by 42 CFR Part 2. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply e-mail and destroy all copies of the original message. Thank You --------------------------------- Find Great Deals on Holiday Gifts at Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2005 Report Share Posted December 13, 2005 > We have to wait for the child to enter kindergarten to have the >teacher bring up matters before we can offer confirmation of our >suspicions with a parent.>>>>>>>>>> Wow as here the teachers are NOT allowed to say anything to the parents if they suspect anything. Marj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2005 Report Share Posted December 14, 2005 thankyou for your email. kellystar734 <kellystar734@...> wrote: > We have to wait for the child to enter kindergarten to have the >teacher bring up matters before we can offer confirmation of our >suspicions with a parent.>>>>>>>>>> Wow as here the teachers are NOT allowed to say anything to the parents if they suspect anything. Marj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 Hey Kirsten, that is exactly what I have been doing. I find that if I talk about my children, and the other parent suspects something about their child, they usually end up opening up. Once they do I can help in any way necessary. Another tactic I have used is one time a mom was sitting while her daughter was really 'in my face' and very friendly and overly excited. I kept saying that her daughter was 'just like me' (which was true) I said to the mom, who kept apologizing for her daughter, DON " T worry. It isn't a problem I have 3 boys with Aspergers, so and they have their own silly things that they do. I am very used to silly kids, and actually like them a lot. That is when she opened up and Aspergers ended up being the diagnosis. What a trip that was!!! Showing support is exactly what the parents need. Not in a judgemental way, but in a caring way, like what you did! That is so cool! Wish more people were like you:) *smiles* b > > I was visiting a local pre-school and knew of a child that appeared to have AS that attended. While playing outside with them I picked the child out discretely and watched her. When my AS son interacted with her and she inappropriately responded, I approached the mother and appologized as if my son were the culprit. I explained that my son has AS----please understand this is the first time I have blamed my son like this, but I did it to break the ice. He didn't know I blamed him for the incident. I said he has AS and he doesn't always understand. It was a sneaky way to get her to open up and feel like her child isn't alone. > > She was very exicted to meet a mother with a child with AS and told me she was exploring that avenue with her dd. We chatted on the phone later and I was able to get her to attend our support group meeting the next night and since. She has since gotten the dx and the services her child needs. It doesn't always work that way, and the parents sometimes are in denial. > > You can turn things around and relate to the parent your child's qualities that are similar to their child and that your child has a dx because of abcdefg...which is just like what you see in their child. This may be a gentle approach that you need to take when you are not sure how well someone will respond. > > Try it, you may help a child get the support they need--and the parents. > > > Kirsten Hargis > Partners in Policymaking, 2004-2005 > The information transmitted is intended only for the person or entity to > which is addressed and may contain confidential and / or privileged > material. Any review, retransmission, dissemation or other use of, or > taking of any action in reliance upon, this information by persons or > entities other than the intended recipient is prohibited. > > This message is intended only for the use of the addressee and may > contain information that is privileged, confidential and exempt from > disclosure under applicable law. Under protection of Federal Confidentiality Rules (42 CFR Part 2). > The Federal Rules prohibit you from making any further disclosure of > this information unless further disclosure is expressly permitted by the > written consent of the person to whom it pertains or as permitted by 42 > CFR Part 2. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply e-mail and destroy all copies of the original message. Thank You > > --------------------------------- > > Find Great Deals on Holiday Gifts at > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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