Re: Sleepless nights with bouncy boy.

[Guest guest]

You know, I find as an adult with asperger's that his behavior bothers

me less than it seems to bother other people who have children with

the same problems. I remember most of his issues from when I was a

child and I have a difficult time rousing myself to passion about

pretty much anything (except my fascinations of course ;-)) I have

always thought the biggest ear mark of asperger's in the adult is long

periods of apathy followed by intermittant outbursts. So to an

unlooker you probably do seem to have the patience of a saint. I say

enjoy the compliments while you can get them! ;-)

Amber

>

> Yes, he amazes me. My little man can stay up late and seem wired for

> action. He leaps he climbs and runs in circles. For me, the adult with

> aspergers, there is a great challenge to the patience. A friend of mine

> recently commented that I must have the patience of a saint. I don't

> believe I have that kind of patience, but I do have to stop and take

> several deep breaths from time to time. Tonight we were at the ER

> because my wife is having appendix troubles. Denver is used to ER's due

> to lots of family medical problems and he likes it when there are toys

> to play with. Unfortunately they don't hold his attention that long. So

> now it's 2am and I am up and around. Don't know how well I will sleep

> for sake of worry and lots of things that needed to be done tomorrow.

> He's finally out cold, but I expect him to come into the bedroom

> anytime now. Well, I thought I would just stop in and say something,

> the rest will just have to float by on its own. Thanks for letting me

> get that off my chest.

>

[Guest guest]

Glad to know we're not alone here.

>

> My 15 year old sleeps all day and is up all night. This has become

an

> ongoing problem with him. Some days/nights it is worse than

others. Pam

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> My 15 year old sleeps all day and is up all night. This has become

an

> ongoing problem with him. Some days/nights it is worse than

others. Pam

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Roxanna,

I have a question about Chlonidine. Have you noticed any

negative side effects to it? My son was taking one similar,

called " Tenex " He became very depressed, angry and aggressive. The

Dr. said Chlonidine is next to try. I told him I wanted one month

where my son was only on one medication which is Lexapro.

Thanks for any input you can give me on Chlonidine.

Sue

> >

> > My 15 year old sleeps all day and is up all night. This has

become

> an

> > ongoing problem with him. Some days/nights it is worse than

> others. Pam

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

> >

> > My 15 year old sleeps all day and is up all night. This has

become

> an

> > ongoing problem with him. Some days/nights it is worse than

> others. Pam

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

>

> Becky, Are you living in my basement with my 17 yo boys? Cuz

> it sounds JUST like them.... Depression, feeling bad about

> not accomplishing something then time to RETREAT to the bed

> because they are too overwhelmed!! Toni

Hi Toni,

No I don't THINK I am living there but who knows, somedays I feel

like I must be having a nightmare when things get out of control. It

is so nice to know that somebody else has the same problem! Have you

found anything that helps?

> >

> > This has been a very big problem in my son's life and

> > mine. It is not so bad during the week when he is in

> > school-he is entering his last year of college in

> > September-but on weekends or when school is not in

> > session-xmas break, spring break or summer vacation-we

> > have never been able to break this circuler problem. I

> > call it circuler because it is one big frustrating

> > circle. He sleeps all day-we have tried all kinds of

> > different alarms, sleeping medication at night, me waking

> > him up, consequences when he was younger-then he gets up

> > at 4 or 5pm and is depressed because he did not get

> > anything accomplished- homework, work on his website,

> > chores, etc-he then stays up all night on his computer or

> > playing video games, cannot get up the next day because

> > of staying up all night and also because he is depressed

> > about not getting anything done the previous day. This

> > just spirals faster and faster each day until he is

> > sleeping all day and all night and is so depressed he can

> > barely function. My waking him up only escalates into a

> > battle where I try to wake him up and he either does not

> > get up, even with me trying all day or gets up and takes a

> > shower and when I have gone to work he goes back to

> > sleep.Nothing has worked and so far he in his life he has

> > only had one job-an internship in computer programming

> > which is his major-and this problem caused him to be very

> > far behind in his work and he had to quit three different

> > times because he was so depressed. Luckily, the first two

> > time he quit they were willing to take him back. The

> > third time he quit was last xmas break and when he tried

> > to work for them again this summer they have apparantly

> > grown tired of this problem.

> >

> > Sorry for the long post. I am very worried about his

> > future and any suggestions would be VERY greatly

> > appreciated.

> >

> > Becky

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

> I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy

> today. I can CHOOSE which it shall be. Groucho Marx

>

> _________________________________________

>

> Check your Email accounts at MyEmail.com

>

> Login from home, work, school. Anywhere!

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Both of my boys with HFA have sleep problems just like this. We

have used a medication called " clonidine " with wonderful results. My

older ds is now 17 yo and he prefers to get ambien but he says it only

works sometimes and not all the time. I wish he'd take clonidine

instead but he has his own mind.

=======================================================================

I would like to add to the Clonidine idea one small possable problem

prolonged use of this med could cause kidney damage!

as the parent of a child who was dx after reaction to vaccines so we

watch what she takes very close.

Lunesta has no long term addictions like ambien

watch everything and research it yourself

[Guest guest]

>

> NOPE!! I wish... At least your son is going to college and

> doing well. Right now, I don't see my kids being able to

> even do that, unless they grow up ALOT this year... Toni

>

> I felt exactly the same thing with both children. I insisted, right

or wrong, that they go to college because I knew that with their

problems, they absolutely had to have a degree to help them make it in

this world. I am 42 and have never even finished a two year degree at

a community college and that has hurt my paycheck and my work

opportunities greatly to the point that I am barely making it(I am in

accounting).

I won't lie to you, the first year was a nightmare for my son and even

worse for my daughter-they are one year apart in school, two years

apart in age.

My son tried to live on campus the first year. NOT! He could not get up

to go to class, he could not relate to any of the kids in his dorm-he

is not into partying, which seemed to be the norm at this LUTHERAN

College! We had everything from " I can't do this, I can't go to

College, it is too hard for me " -this from a child who easily earned A's

in evey class, on every test, paper or project and was in AP classes in

high school-and yes we had problems with high school too, just not

academic ones-to one suicide threat-he didn't do anything, just told me

over the phone, I had to call the campus police, the counseling

department had to be involved, etc. He also had the same pattern of

being overwhelmed by his homework, avoiding it for that reason and then

being depressed and overwhelmed when the back-log became so huge. He

still did well on tests-when he showed up for class.

The methods I used to help him get through each year-yes we have had

the same problems in varying degrees every year-I am listing below.

Again, this was my choice, right or wrong because I feel so strongly

about having a college degree. And these worked with him but I've

learned through dealing with my daughter that EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT!

THIS SHOULD BE TATOOED ON EACH TEACHER, PRINCIPAL, THERAPIST,

PSYCHIATRIST, ETC. And, like Harry Potter's scar, should burn

unbearable when they are not REMEMBERING this.

1) He moved back home where I could get him up each day and monitor his

school work-yes this was as fun as having a root canal but necessary!

2) He started seeing a different therapist-one from the school-whom he

seemed to respond to better that the one we had had for several years

even though she had helped him in many ways. I think he responded

better because he felt that, because it was at school and not something

that I was involved in, it was more his idea/responsiblity.

3) I insisted his P-doc change his medication and give him something

for sleep at night. I have seen this many times when they get in an

over-whelming pattern that seems unable to be solved that a change of

medication-he is only on one anti-depressant-seems to help and no don't

lecture me about changing medicine too often I know that already thanks

to the constant irritirations from his doctors for the last eight years!

4) I made him talk to each of his teachers, explain why he was behind

and let them know that he had a plan for getting caught up. In

California they are required to make SOME adjustments for college such

as letting them take a test in a separate room, allowing tape recorders

to record the class in case he was too over-whelmed/in his own world

when the lecture was going on and allowing more time for homework to be

turned in.

5) I made him see the coordinator at school for kids with special needs-

he refused at first but I was not going to back down. She was able to

suggest helpful ways to solve some of his problems and even talked to

some of the teachers about different ways to help him learn. Some of

the teachers were great and, as we know, some of the teachers were

jerks. He had to drop his speach class-which he liked!??-because the

teacher was so nasty to him. It was funny because she insulted him one

time to many and he stood up, told her off and went and immediately

dropped the class! I was so proud of him! This episode became a rule

that he used with each teacher after that. He paid close attention for

the first two classes and when he realized that their attitude, style

of teaching or personality was not going to work for him he was able to

to drop that class and take another.

6) When he became over-whelmed with the amount of work that had piled

up because he was trying to ignore it-his normal pattern-we sat down

and made a list of everything that needed to get done, when it was due

andhow long it would take to finish. Then each day, we would go over

what he had accomplished/what had been added to the list. We decided

what was most important to work on each day and how much time he should

spend on each task. This helped him see that some things were not as

time consuming as he had thought and I was able to correct him(boy was

that fun) on how much time he SHOULD spend studying something or

how " perfect " a paper had to be-he is a perfectionist which is why he

gets overwhelmed. He also learned-by my telling him day after day

through gritted teath that no, you don't have to take notes on

EVERYTHING on each page. Don't they teach that in school anymore? My

daughter has the same problem.

7) I insisted that he tell me when he was feeling overwhelmed so that

we could talk it out and I could get his thinking on a more rational

level.

8)We agreed that he could not spend all his time studying and came up

with time limits for video games etc, so that he would not get burned

out. I also required that he spend at least 30 minutes with the family

instead of being shut up in his room. This helped because he wasn't so

isolated. I've learned (from my own experience) that isolating is a

disaster if you have social problems.

9)I offered to let him switch to community college but he hated that

idea so it never happened but at least he had a choice.

10) Finally, I made sure to remind him often that he didn't have to get

all A's on his college work. As long as he kept a " B " average it would

not affect his financial aid and that no job interviewer was going togo

back and pull his transcripts to see what grade he made in each class(I

could be wrong on this but I felt it was necessary to say that to

relieve some of the pressure. I told him that all he needed to do was

pass the class to get his degree.

My daughter, on the other hand, is a whole different story for another

day-or morning as it were as I can't sleep since 3am and it is now 5am!

Oh the joys of single-parenthood!

Sorry for the looooooooooooooong post.

Becky

[Guest guest]

Hey, thanks for the input. Thanks to everyone who responded here.

Yes, I do accept the compliments and shirk off the comments (most of

them) from those who just don't understand. I have the mixture of

bipolar and PTSD to work with on my condition, but my meds and

treatment work well for it. Well, my little guy quietly got up while

we were watching Evil Dead and now I need to handle that somehow. Oh

boy.

Thanks all.

Dave

> >

> > Yes, he amazes me. My little man can stay up late and seem wired

for

> > action. He leaps he climbs and runs in circles. For me, the adult

with

> > aspergers, there is a great challenge to the patience. A friend

of mine

> > recently commented that I must have the patience of a saint. I

don't

> > believe I have that kind of patience, but I do have to stop and

take

> > several deep breaths from time to time. Tonight we were at the ER

> > because my wife is having appendix troubles. Denver is used to

ER's due

> > to lots of family medical problems and he likes it when there are

toys

> > to play with. Unfortunately they don't hold his attention that

long. So

> > now it's 2am and I am up and around. Don't know how well I will

sleep

> > for sake of worry and lots of things that needed to be done

tomorrow.

> > He's finally out cold, but I expect him to come into the bedroom

> > anytime now. Well, I thought I would just stop in and say

something,

> > the rest will just have to float by on its own. Thanks for

letting me

> > get that off my chest.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My AS son has been on Clonidine for years and it works, but he got

to where it didn't and I hated to give him more, so his Dr. said to

buy Melatonin. It works great and is an all natural product. At

times when I am stressed out and can't sleep I will take one of

these myself. You can buy this in a drug store, or a grocery store.

Good Luck

> >

> > Both of my boys with HFA have sleep problems just like this.

We

> have used a medication called " clonidine " with wonderful

results. My

> older ds is now 17 yo and he prefers to get ambien but he says

it

> only works sometimes and not all the time. I wish he'd take

> clonidine instead but he has his own mind.

> >

> >

> > Roxanna

> Thanks for responding Roxanna. Glad to know I am not alone. This

> problem has depressed me for years! I will tell my son

> about " clonidine " and suggest he ask his p-doc about it. Is it a

> sleeping medication? I tried giving him an Ambien but he said

that it

> caused " halucinations " and made him feel " drugged " the next day.

He

> has never had that kind of reaction before and has never had

> halucinations.

>

>

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