Re: How do I handle this situation?

[Guest guest]

This is a hard one. But,,,,,,,,,,the most important thing here, is your son.

Not even thinking about his friends, moms boyfriend,,,,,,,,would I want my son

at a 2nd degree sex-offender's house? Not even a question - no!!!

Soooooo, keep doing what you're doing as far as letting the boy come over.

Is your son asking why he can't go over?

Do you know for sure the guy is a sex-offender?

I think I'd tell my son that I just wouldn't feel right if he was over there

because you don't know the man. That way if it comes up by way of your son, you

aren't overly offending anyone. AND,,,,,,,,you're reinforcing the " stay away

from strangers " rule.

Like I said,,,,,this is a really hard one.

Then again, part of me says that as long as you know for sure that the guy

really is a sex offender,,,,,,then be honest and tell him that he's done some

bad things to a person or people in the past and you'd feel better if his friend

came over to your house.

But be ready for a confrontation, perhaps. And the loss of your sons friend.

Good luck and let me know what happens.

Robin

widoherty6 <widoherty6@...> wrote:

My 12 yr old son is doing very well on his meds and at school and has

even started making friends. This is also causing some problems. He

has made friends with another boy at school, the boy seems very nice.

The problems is that his mother's live in boyfriend is listed on the

sex offenders registry list for 2nd degree sexual assault on a child.

I have made it very clear to my son that while his friend is welcome

at our house he is not ever to go to his friends house. But the whole

situation is making me very uncomfortable. What should I tell my

son? Aspies don't always read the situation correctly and I don't

want to hurt his friend's feelings. Any suggestions on what to do?

---------------------------------

Get your own web address.

Have a HUGE year through Small Business.

[Guest guest]

,

It's great he's doing well & has made a friend. I really feel for you in this

situation. Would your city's sex crime department or child welfare office have

people who educate on this type of thing? Maybe they could offer a good

suggestion on how to tell the news to a child with Asperger's?

I really applaud you & other parents who investigate the parents of their

child's friends. It is so smart! Isn't it a sad world?

Liz

Houston

widoherty6 <widoherty6@...> wrote:

My 12 yr old son is doing very well on his meds and at school and has

even started making friends. This is also causing some problems. He

has made friends with another boy at school, the boy seems very nice.

The problems is that his mother's live in boyfriend is listed on the

sex offenders registry list for 2nd degree sexual assault on a child.

I have made it very clear to my son that while his friend is welcome

at our house he is not ever to go to his friends house. But the whole

situation is making me very uncomfortable. What should I tell my

son? Aspies don't always read the situation correctly and I don't

want to hurt his friend's feelings. Any suggestions on what to do?

---------------------------------

Don't be flakey. Get for Mobile and

always stay connected to friends.

[Guest guest]

Also,,,,,,since we're on the topic. Check this site out and note that you can

also sign up for free notifications whenever one moves away or to your area.

www.familywatchdog.us

Robin

Note: forwarded message attached.

---------------------------------

We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

(and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

[Guest guest]

WOW!!! I'm surprised that she can and will " allow " her boyfriend to live with

her when she has a child in the house? I thought they couldn't work, live, go

to the parks, or be anywhere where there are children. I'm surprised DCS

didn't tell her he has to move out?

I'm glad for your son that he made a new friend. I think you did well with

explaining: letting the friend come over your home and you talking to your son

that your son can NEVER go to his friends home. educate him on what a pedophile

is. also, I wouldn't let the other boys mother invite your son anyplace with

her & her son due to her judgment being absent. I wouldn't trust her either!!!

*smile*

widoherty6 <widoherty6@...> wrote:

My 12 yr old son is doing very well on his meds and at school and has

even started making friends. This is also causing some problems. He

has made friends with another boy at school, the boy seems very nice.

The problems is that his mother's live in boyfriend is listed on the

sex offenders registry list for 2nd degree sexual assault on a child.

I have made it very clear to my son that while his friend is welcome

at our house he is not ever to go to his friends house. But the whole

situation is making me very uncomfortable. What should I tell my

son? Aspies don't always read the situation correctly and I don't

want to hurt his friend's feelings. Any suggestions on what to do?

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Oh yuck.

Serious yuck.

Does your son have any way to get to his friend's house without your

knowing?

If he doesn't, don't worry about it. You've done the right thing.

If he does, you might have to find a way to say something to him.

There's a house in our neighborhood, and the man gives me the total

creeps. I don't even have anything solid like you do. But I've told

her she's never to go near that house or that man. When she asked why,

I told her " He's a bad man. " When she asked me how, I told her it

wasn't something I felt comfortable talking about, but he was not a

safe person to be around, and I would be very scared that she would be

in danger if she ever went there.

I don't know if it's enough, but I hope it is.

Meira

>

> My 12 yr old son is doing very well on his meds and at school and has

> even started making friends. This is also causing some problems. He

> has made friends with another boy at school, the boy seems very

nice.

> The problems is that his mother's live in boyfriend is listed on the

> sex offenders registry list for 2nd degree sexual assault on a

child.

> I have made it very clear to my son that while his friend is welcome

> at our house he is not ever to go to his friends house. But the

whole

> situation is making me very uncomfortable. What should I tell my

> son? Aspies don't always read the situation correctly and I don't

> want to hurt his friend's feelings. Any suggestions on what to do?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh My God.

One of them is on the other half of my MIL's duplex....

>

> Also,,,,,,since we're on the topic. Check this site out and note

that you can also sign up for free notifications whenever one moves

away or to your area.

>

> www.familywatchdog.us

>

> Robin

>

> Note: forwarded message attached.

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

> (and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I applaude you too!!! Way to go to protect your son!!! I hope that he will be

able to understand the reasons but if he can't understand.. the most important

thing is keeping your child safe. Even if he gets upset with you about it now

he may understand it better when he is much older and will be safe in the

meantime!!

Way to go!!!

[Guest guest]

Thank you everyone for your support and suggestions. This man was

convicted of 2nd degree sexual assalt on a child. I looked this up

and it means having sexual relations with a child 16 years or

younger. I was also told this could mean he had a relationship with a

teenage girl. But still, according to the report that would make him

24 at the time of the incedent and the girl younger than 16. Anyway,

whatever happened, I don't want my child around someone like this. I

also don't want this person around my home or neighborhood, especially

my daughters. I did explain to my son why he couldn't go to his

friends house. He understood the situation very well. I hope this is

a good freindship. This boy does make me a little uncomfortable, not

because of the situation, but because he just does. So we will see

and there will be lots of supervision.

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, that's a tough one. I definitly wouldn't let him go there or anywhere with

them, but I'm not sure how to go about telling him why. He may say something to

the friend that may be unintenionally hurtfull.

Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: WOW!!! I'm surprised that she

can and will " allow " her boyfriend to live with her when she has a child in the

house? I thought they couldn't work, live, go to the parks, or be anywhere where

there are children. I'm surprised DCS didn't tell her he has to move out?

I'm glad for your son that he made a new friend. I think you did well with

explaining: letting the friend come over your home and you talking to your son

that your son can NEVER go to his friends home. educate him on what a pedophile

is. also, I wouldn't let the other boys mother invite your son anyplace with her

& her son due to her judgment being absent. I wouldn't trust her either!!!

*smile*

widoherty6 <widoherty6@...> wrote:

My 12 yr old son is doing very well on his meds and at school and has

even started making friends. This is also causing some problems. He

has made friends with another boy at school, the boy seems very nice.

The problems is that his mother's live in boyfriend is listed on the

sex offenders registry list for 2nd degree sexual assault on a child.

I have made it very clear to my son that while his friend is welcome

at our house he is not ever to go to his friends house. But the whole

situation is making me very uncomfortable. What should I tell my

son? Aspies don't always read the situation correctly and I don't

want to hurt his friend's feelings. Any suggestions on what to do?

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

You know, I didn't think of that. Him speaking to others. This is a hard one!

or maybe others should be aware of this too... I understand how important it is

for him to have a friend. Sorry, I don't remember his age. But it is important

for him to be educated on stuff like that. I'm watching the news in the morning

and I can't believe how much this is happening. Now a female school

teacher,(caught having sex with a student). He does need to be aware for his

safety. Would it help to start off talking little by little. maybe not to

focus just on his friends situation. Just an introduction on these pedophiles,

good touch bad touch. Just to educate him. I'm just as concerned with that

boys mother??? She makes me sick!!!. I wouldn't want that man in my

neighborhood, never mind my home, with my child...Good luck to you.

Have you tried a play date with other kids. maybe your son can invite another

child to your home, park, movies, boys & girls club. etc... to try to find

another friend for him.. That sounds safer. *smile* Good luck Also, I feel

bad for that boys safety as well.

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Yeah, that's a tough one. I definitly wouldn't let him go there or

anywhere with them, but I'm not sure how to go about telling him why. He may say

something to the friend that may be unintenionally hurtfull.

Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: WOW!!! I'm surprised that she can and

will " allow " her boyfriend to live with her when she has a child in the house? I

thought they couldn't work, live, go to the parks, or be anywhere where there

are children. I'm surprised DCS didn't tell her he has to move out?

I'm glad for your son that he made a new friend. I think you did well with

explaining: letting the friend come over your home and you talking to your son

that your son can NEVER go to his friends home. educate him on what a pedophile

is. also, I wouldn't let the other boys mother invite your son anyplace with her

& her son due to her judgment being absent. I wouldn't trust her either!!!

*smile*

widoherty6 <widoherty6@...> wrote:

My 12 yr old son is doing very well on his meds and at school and has

even started making friends. This is also causing some problems. He

has made friends with another boy at school, the boy seems very nice.

The problems is that his mother's live in boyfriend is listed on the

sex offenders registry list for 2nd degree sexual assault on a child.

I have made it very clear to my son that while his friend is welcome

at our house he is not ever to go to his friends house. But the whole

situation is making me very uncomfortable. What should I tell my

son? Aspies don't always read the situation correctly and I don't

want to hurt his friend's feelings. Any suggestions on what to do?

---------------------------------

Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

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[Guest guest]

Yikes! I think I would call someone, like social services, and ask them how

this man can be living with a child in the same house. This poor boy! I'm not

sure what I would tell my kid in that situation, especially since whatever I

would say would likely be repeated.

Roxanna

( ) How do I handle this situation?

My 12 yr old son is doing very well on his meds and at school and has

even started making friends. This is also causing some problems. He

has made friends with another boy at school, the boy seems very nice.

The problems is that his mother's live in boyfriend is listed on the

sex offenders registry list for 2nd degree sexual assault on a child.

I have made it very clear to my son that while his friend is welcome

at our house he is not ever to go to his friends house. But the whole

situation is making me very uncomfortable. What should I tell my

son? Aspies don't always read the situation correctly and I don't

want to hurt his friend's feelings. Any suggestions on what to do?

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12:12 PM

[Guest guest]

You are doing an amazing job and it is so important for our kids to have

friends. A couple points worth noting: one, you may be able to call the

law enforcement agency noted on the registry and get more information about

the case. Explain your circumstances and you should be able to find out

just how at risk this man could be. It could be that your son's friend is

at risk. . . Way to go with the supervision. You may be the best thing that

has happened to this friend!

Cheers. Helen

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of widoherty6

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2007 12:26 PM

Subject: ( ) Re: How do I handle this situation?

Thank you everyone for your support and suggestions. This man was

convicted of 2nd degree sexual assalt on a child. I looked this up

and it means having sexual relations with a child 16 years or

younger. I was also told this could mean he had a relationship with a

teenage girl. But still, according to the report that would make him

24 at the time of the incedent and the girl younger than 16. Anyway,

whatever happened, I don't want my child around someone like this. I

also don't want this person around my home or neighborhood, especially

my daughters. I did explain to my son why he couldn't go to his

friends house. He understood the situation very well. I hope this is

a good freindship. This boy does make me a little uncomfortable, not

because of the situation, but because he just does. So we will see

and there will be lots of supervision.

>

[Guest guest]

Definitely. Excellent idea. There is no way that man should be

allowed to live with that child. And you can call anonymously so your

son will not be blamed by his friend.

Meira

>

> Yikes! I think I would call someone, like social services, and ask

them how this man can be living with a child in the same house.

[Guest guest]

Yes, I think that's a good idea too.

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote: Definitely.

Excellent idea. There is no way that man should be

allowed to live with that child. And you can call anonymously so your

son will not be blamed by his friend.

Meira

>

> Yikes! I think I would call someone, like social services, and ask

them how this man can be living with a child in the same house.