RE: Help advice needed, I'm shocked and upset

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/6/2006 9:53:32 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

mcgkcc@... writes:

Suggestions and comfort words/advice welcomed. This is just not

right !!!

Kim, where are you located? Pam

[Guest guest]

Hi!

I don't have any good advice, or " words of wisdom " for

you. I just feel for your situation!

It sounds like you did what was right for him, and got

in trouble for it. It also sounds like the facility

didn't live up to what it said it would.

I know what it's like to be afraid of Child " Services "

taking away your children. I live in MA, and DSS is

way out of hand here.

I admire your beliefs in not suing anyone. I do think,

though, that hiring a lawyer to protect yourself and

to play " defense " for you and your kids is not the

same thing.

Hang in there.

- Adrienne

--- maternalcaregiver <mcgkcc@...> wrote:

> Hi,

> My 9.5 yo relaesed last Thursday from a regional

> inpatient psych

> facility. I've been trying to find out exactly

> " what " dx. we are

> dealing with. Classically my son had no tantrums or

> acting out on

> the unit. I read that is common. He had a grand ole

> time and actually

> thrived on the extremely rigid routine. The SW

> there told me not to

> feed him and disengage him form any family life if

> he " broke " any

> consequences and he was a manipulative kid. I

> disagreed, saying you

> guys have NO idea how he acts at home. They refused

> to listen. They

> would not provoke him on the unit, even though the

> medical insurance

> only allowed a 4 day stay. His third night I went

> to see him , I was

> very blunt, and told him the staff though he was

> " playing games and

> manipulative " . I asked for a PRIVATE conversation

> with him- my

> right. The staff easedropped on our conversation.

> I told my son we

> agreed to come for an evaluation, not to hold in his

> feelings so they

> could see what he was going thru,and I did not

> understand why he

> suddenly hated his sister. he got upset, it was hard

> for me to

> watch. We saw , FINALLY, the attending pdoc last

> Thursday, and

> this " conversation " was not discussed although I

> repeatly described

> this is not the way he acts at home, and I told her

> I was blunt with

> my son that Tuesday evening. I did kiss him goodbye

> that evening,

> and called the unit after I left to let them know

> what we had

> discussed.

> Well yesterday, I came home, checked the mail, and

> there's a card

> from DFACS on my door. I called them immediately,

> and the hospital

> alleges I am emotionally abusive to my son !!! This

> guy comes

> immediately to the house to " check me out " like I'm

> some criminal. I

> do not abuse my son, why did I seek inpatient

> treatment for him if I

> did not care ?? Now I'm frightened they will try to

> remove my kids,

> as stupid as DFACS can be. This is wrong !! I feel

> violated. I

> trusted my child to them, they say he's normal - I'm

> the screwed up

> parent " , until I meet the attending pdoc at

> discharge. I guess

> today I'll be seeking an attorney, even with my

> extremely limited

> finances, and against my religious beliefs of suing

> anyone.

> Suggestions and comfort words/advice welcomed. This

> is just not

> right !!!

>

> Kim

> Conner's mom

> AS/EOBP/ADD????

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

--- As you didn't state the reasons why you put him into an inpatient

environment in the first place, it's hard to help from my end, as I

have a 16 year old Asperger child, and I have adopted 2 children from

DFS both with problems, one with ADHD and another Asperger child.

Sometimes a check from DFS is just that, a check.

[Guest guest]

Hi Kim,

Well hell. I know how scary it is to have children's services get

involved. Some twit reported me in 2004 and I went through all the

emotions one goes through when that happens. First thing to do is

contact a lawyer who specializes in this in your area. I got a nice one

who gave me a free consultation over the phone. His advice then was not

to volunteer any information to the worker who visits your home. Answer

questions simply, politely and do not elaborate. MAKE SURE you have

some family with you as knowing you have a support system is important.

I had my best friend there and it made all the difference. Make sure

the house is spotless. A few dishes in the sink shouldn't make a

difference, but it does. Make sure to offer to give them a tour of the

home. If you can videotape your childs behavior at home to prove your

point, even better. Any medical records you have, any prescription

information, and written diagnoses, should all be made available to the

person so they can see that yes, there is something going on with your

son. Above all, be honest about what was said in your conversation with

your son, stressing why you were telling him these things, how you

didn't say anything abusive, etc. You have to understand you probably

got reported by some nurse or therapist who doesn't understand what you

are dealing with, did not see your sons true nature and probably

ascribes to a very liberal and touchy feely parenting philosophy that

they think should apply to everyone but doesn't. Just don't give them

any reason to mess with you. Be as nice as can be. Put on the whole

Leave it to Beaver show while still being true to who your family is.

When all is said and done, the chances are that nothing will come of it

except for some unneeded stress and anxiety. Plus, when you are

vindicated, you'll have a lovely letter stating you did NOTHING wrong

which will not only make it harder for people to report you in the

future but it will also make it harder for child services to take it

seriously. I think I'm going to get my letter framed :-). Just

kidding.

Best of luck and best wishes,

Tabitha

( ) Help advice needed, I'm shocked and upset

Hi,

My 9.5 yo relaesed last Thursday from a regional inpatient psych

facility. I've been trying to find out exactly " what " dx. we are

dealing with. Classically my son had no tantrums or acting out on

the unit. I read that is common. He had a grand ole time and actually

thrived on the extremely rigid routine. The SW there told me not to

feed him and disengage him form any family life if he " broke " any

consequences and he was a manipulative kid. I disagreed, saying you

guys have NO idea how he acts at home. They refused to listen. They

would not provoke him on the unit, even though the medical insurance

only allowed a 4 day stay. His third night I went to see him , I was

very blunt, and told him the staff though he was " playing games and

manipulative " . I asked for a PRIVATE conversation with him- my

right. The staff easedropped on our conversation. I told my son we

agreed to come for an evaluation, not to hold in his feelings so they

could see what he was going thru,and I did not understand why he

suddenly hated his sister. he got upset, it was hard for me to

watch. We saw , FINALLY, the attending pdoc last Thursday, and

this " conversation " was not discussed although I repeatly described

this is not the way he acts at home, and I told her I was blunt with

my son that Tuesday evening. I did kiss him goodbye that evening,

and called the unit after I left to let them know what we had

discussed.

Well yesterday, I came home, checked the mail, and there's a card

from DFACS on my door. I called them immediately, and the hospital

alleges I am emotionally abusive to my son !!! This guy comes

immediately to the house to " check me out " like I'm some criminal. I

do not abuse my son, why did I seek inpatient treatment for him if I

did not care ?? Now I'm frightened they will try to remove my kids,

as stupid as DFACS can be. This is wrong !! I feel violated. I

trusted my child to them, they say he's normal - I'm the screwed up

parent " , until I meet the attending pdoc at discharge. I guess

today I'll be seeking an attorney, even with my extremely limited

finances, and against my religious beliefs of suing anyone.

Suggestions and comfort words/advice welcomed. This is just not

right !!!

Kim

Conner's mom

AS/EOBP/ADD????

[Guest guest]

Kim,

I do not know what state you live in but I have an Idea that it could be

Texas!!!!

Lol. No,Seriously. We have a file that is more than 6 " thick on our

AS/PDD/Schizophrenic 16 .5 years and a MASTER manipulator.

if she gets mad at me or her mother then she will tell lies to her teacher,her

bio-father or even CPS. after dealing with countless inteviews and nasty letters

we finally puy our foot down to CPS and after that these needless reports by

know it all neighbors

stupid teachers and moron health care professionals we finally found a

cousiler who listened and made sense of Annie's " atories and listened to us

it did take a " commitment " to the state hospital in wichita falls texas for a

period of 3 months not 3 or 4 days as we found out,she could not play the game

that long! and as we have discovered no one can.

If at all possable,fight with your insurance company to get it covered

anyone who tells you they can make a clear dx with only 3 or 4 days is either

a liar or totally unrealisistic

also check with any of your local mhmr or arc or any other advocacy groups to

help you

above all NEVER GIVE IN AND NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!!

& Robyn

maternalcaregiver <mcgkcc@...> wrote:

Hi,

My 9.5 yo relaesed last Thursday from a regional inpatient psych

facility. I've been trying to find out exactly " what " dx. we are

dealing with. Classically my son had no tantrums or acting out on

the unit. I read that is common. He had a grand ole time and actually

thrived on the extremely rigid routine. The SW there told me not to

feed him and disengage him form any family life if he " broke " any

consequences and he was a manipulative kid. I disagreed, saying you

guys have NO idea how he acts at home. They refused to listen. They

would not provoke him on the unit, even though the medical insurance

only allowed a 4 day stay. His third night I went to see him , I was

very blunt, and told him the staff though he was " playing games and

manipulative " . I asked for a PRIVATE conversation with him- my

right. The staff easedropped on our conversation. I told my son we

agreed to come for an evaluation, not to hold in his feelings so they

could see what he was going thru,and I did not understand why he

suddenly hated his sister. he got upset, it was hard for me to

watch. We saw , FINALLY, the attending pdoc last Thursday, and

this " conversation " was not discussed although I repeatly described

this is not the way he acts at home, and I told her I was blunt with

my son that Tuesday evening. I did kiss him goodbye that evening,

and called the unit after I left to let them know what we had

discussed.

Well yesterday, I came home, checked the mail, and there's a card

from DFACS on my door. I called them immediately, and the hospital

alleges I am emotionally abusive to my son !!! This guy comes

immediately to the house to " check me out " like I'm some criminal. I

do not abuse my son, why did I seek inpatient treatment for him if I

did not care ?? Now I'm frightened they will try to remove my kids,

as stupid as DFACS can be. This is wrong !! I feel violated. I

trusted my child to them, they say he's normal - I'm the screwed up

parent " , until I meet the attending pdoc at discharge. I guess

today I'll be seeking an attorney, even with my extremely limited

finances, and against my religious beliefs of suing anyone.

Suggestions and comfort words/advice welcomed. This is just not

right !!!

Kim

Conner's mom

AS/EOBP/ADD????

---------------------------------

How low will we go? Check out Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates.

[Guest guest]

My gosh, that is absulutely horrible. You would expect better from

people who deal all the time with children who have abnormal

behaviorisms and the families who have to deal with them every day.

One of the reasons that I have in fact hesitated until recently to get

a Dx is that very fear. Inviting people into my parenting to make

judgements that are not theirs to make. I truly feel for you. What a

horrible, invasive and violating experience for you. I once had a man

drop off a couch at my house where he saw one of those peanut shaped

teether cookies on the floor, came to the conclusion it was cat poop

and went home and told his wife he was going to call DFS on us. His

wife told him she would never forgive him if he did without letting

her talk to us first and even though it was quickly straightened out

and his wife gave him a serious raking over I hate that man to this

day. I mean HATE him. How dare he! And he didn't even really go

through with it. I would be enraged if I were you and if there's

anything we can do to help please let us know.

Amber

maternalcaregiver <mcgkcc@...> wrote:

> Hi,

> My 9.5 yo relaesed last Thursday from a regional inpatient psych

> facility. I've been trying to find out exactly " what " dx. we are

> dealing with. Classically my son had no tantrums or acting out on

> the unit. I read that is common. He had a grand ole time and actually

> thrived on the extremely rigid routine. The SW there told me not to

> feed him and disengage him form any family life if he " broke " any

> consequences and he was a manipulative kid. I disagreed, saying you

> guys have NO idea how he acts at home. They refused to listen. They

> would not provoke him on the unit, even though the medical insurance

> only allowed a 4 day stay. His third night I went to see him , I was

> very blunt, and told him the staff though he was " playing games and

> manipulative " . I asked for a PRIVATE conversation with him- my

> right. The staff easedropped on our conversation. I told my son we

> agreed to come for an evaluation, not to hold in his feelings so they

> could see what he was going thru,and I did not understand why he

> suddenly hated his sister. he got upset, it was hard for me to

> watch. We saw , FINALLY, the attending pdoc last Thursday, and

> this " conversation " was not discussed although I repeatly described

> this is not the way he acts at home, and I told her I was blunt with

> my son that Tuesday evening. I did kiss him goodbye that evening,

> and called the unit after I left to let them know what we had

> discussed.

> Well yesterday, I came home, checked the mail, and there's a card

> from DFACS on my door. I called them immediately, and the hospital

> alleges I am emotionally abusive to my son !!! This guy comes

> immediately to the house to " check me out " like I'm some criminal. I

> do not abuse my son, why did I seek inpatient treatment for him if I

> did not care ?? Now I'm frightened they will try to remove my kids,

> as stupid as DFACS can be. This is wrong !! I feel violated. I

> trusted my child to them, they say he's normal - I'm the screwed up

> parent " , until I meet the attending pdoc at discharge. I guess

> today I'll be seeking an attorney, even with my extremely limited

> finances, and against my religious beliefs of suing anyone.

> Suggestions and comfort words/advice welcomed. This is just not

> right !!!

>

> Kim

> Conner's mom

> AS/EOBP/ADD????

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> How low will we go? Check out Messenger's low PC-to-Phone

call rates.

>

>

[Guest guest]

We are in Georgia.

Kim

[Guest guest]

here in this is the problem with most " youth psych " areas in most childrens

ospitals are trained to deal with kids with behavior issues not the real issues

that those of us with mental,and developmental disabilities!!!! We went through

this at a total of 4 different hospotals and " stabalization " facillities.

When it came right down to it NONE of the nurses at any of these hospitals had

the proper training they need to have to deal with my DD....

We have a nrw rule they must tell us whst experence with ADD,Adhd,AS,ans

Schizophrenia before we allow Annie to stay there...PERIOD!

if that makes me a bad father then throw me in jail

because I will not let them keep my kid if they can't help her

I know you all would agree based on Kum's exsperience

Kim regaudless of you Faith , fight for your kid and don't let them get away

with that

because the next child they play that game with maynot get out with their

family in tact

& Robyn

Amber <tootsanderson@...> wrote:

My gosh, that is absulutely horrible. You would expect better from

people who deal all the time with children who have abnormal

behaviorisms and the families who have to deal with them every day.

One of the reasons that I have in fact hesitated until recently to get

a Dx is that very fear. Inviting people into my parenting to make

judgements that are not theirs to make. I truly feel for you. What a

horrible, invasive and violating experience for you. I once had a man

drop off a couch at my house where he saw one of those peanut shaped

teether cookies on the floor, came to the conclusion it was cat poop

and went home and told his wife he was going to call DFS on us. His

wife told him she would never forgive him if he did without letting

her talk to us first and even though it was quickly straightened out

and his wife gave him a serious raking over I hate that man to this

day. I mean HATE him. How dare he! And he didn't even really go

through with it. I would be enraged if I were you and if there's

anything we can do to help please let us know.

Amber

maternalcaregiver <mcgkcc@...> wrote:

> Hi,

> My 9.5 yo relaesed last Thursday from a regional inpatient psych

> facility. I've been trying to find out exactly " what " dx. we are

> dealing with. Classically my son had no tantrums or acting out on

> the unit. I read that is common. He had a grand ole time and actually

> thrived on the extremely rigid routine. The SW there told me not to

> feed him and disengage him form any family life if he " broke " any

> consequences and he was a manipulative kid. I disagreed, saying you

> guys have NO idea how he acts at home. They refused to listen. They

> would not provoke him on the unit, even though the medical insurance

> only allowed a 4 day stay. His third night I went to see him , I was

> very blunt, and told him the staff though he was " playing games and

> manipulative " . I asked for a PRIVATE conversation with him- my

> right. The staff easedropped on our conversation. I told my son we

> agreed to come for an evaluation, not to hold in his feelings so they

> could see what he was going thru,and I did not understand why he

> suddenly hated his sister. he got upset, it was hard for me to

> watch. We saw , FINALLY, the attending pdoc last Thursday, and

> this " conversation " was not discussed although I repeatly described

> this is not the way he acts at home, and I told her I was blunt with

> my son that Tuesday evening. I did kiss him goodbye that evening,

> and called the unit after I left to let them know what we had

> discussed.

> Well yesterday, I came home, checked the mail, and there's a card

> from DFACS on my door. I called them immediately, and the hospital

> alleges I am emotionally abusive to my son !!! This guy comes

> immediately to the house to " check me out " like I'm some criminal. I

> do not abuse my son, why did I seek inpatient treatment for him if I

> did not care ?? Now I'm frightened they will try to remove my kids,

> as stupid as DFACS can be. This is wrong !! I feel violated. I

> trusted my child to them, they say he's normal - I'm the screwed up

> parent " , until I meet the attending pdoc at discharge. I guess

> today I'll be seeking an attorney, even with my extremely limited

> finances, and against my religious beliefs of suing anyone.

> Suggestions and comfort words/advice welcomed. This is just not

> right !!!

>

> Kim

> Conner's mom

> AS/EOBP/ADD????

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> How low will we go? Check out Messenger's low PC-to-Phone

call rates.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kim here is some information about your local Parent Information Center. I

would call them and ask for assistance. Also below see information about the

Protection and Advocacy Center for any legal advice. Pam

Shepard, Project Director

Parents Educating Parents & Professionals

for all Children (PEPPAC)

8318 Durelee Lane, Suite 101

ville, GA 30134

(770) 577-7771

Email: _PEPPAC@..._ (mailto:PEPPAC@...)

Protection and Advocacy

Joyce Ringer, Executive Director

Georgia Advocacy Office, Inc.

999 Peachtree Street, N.E. Suite 870

Atlanta, GA 30309

[Guest guest]

I have no advice for the current situation except to get that lawyer to

defend yourself. For the future, please find someone competent in

diagnosing AS to work with you. This person(s) can be really helpful for

any future incidents. I know when my ds was younger and would not wear

clothes, we got a few visits from the police because neighbors would see him

in the yard in his undies. We always felt they should be grateful we got

him to wear his undies. Lol. Anyway, we had our pediatrician who

volunteered his number to us should we ever have anyone report us or have to

explain our son’s autism to an agency. It was just nice to have that backup

just in case. Let us know how it’s going!

Roxanna ôô

“If you’ve told a child a thousand times and he still does not understand,

then it is not the child who is the slow learner.”

Walter Barbee

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of maternalcaregiver

Sent: Thursday, July 06, 2006 6:41 AM

Subject: ( ) Help advice needed, I'm shocked and upset

Hi,

My 9.5 yo relaesed last Thursday from a regional inpatient psych

facility. I've been trying to find out exactly " what " dx. we are

dealing with. Classically my son had no tantrums or acting out on

the unit. I read that is common. He had a grand ole time and actually

thrived on the extremely rigid routine. The SW there told me not to

feed him and disengage him form any family life if he " broke " any

consequences and he was a manipulative kid. I disagreed, saying you

guys have NO idea how he acts at home. They refused to listen. They

would not provoke him on the unit, even though the medical insurance

only allowed a 4 day stay. His third night I went to see him , I was

very blunt, and told him the staff though he was " playing games and

manipulative " -. I asked for a PRIVATE conversation with him- my

right. The staff easedropped on our conversation. I told my son we

agreed to come for an evaluation, not to hold in his feelings so they

could see what he was going thru,and I did not understand why he

suddenly hated his sister. he got upset, it was hard for me to

watch. We saw , FINALLY, the attending pdoc last Thursday, and

this " conversation " was not discussed although I repeatly described

this is not the way he acts at home, and I told her I was blunt with

my son that Tuesday evening. I did kiss him goodbye that evening,

and called the unit after I left to let them know what we had

discussed.

Well yesterday, I came home, checked the mail, and there's a card

from DFACS on my door. I called them immediately, and the hospital

alleges I am emotionally abusive to my son !!! This guy comes

immediately to the house to " check me out " like I'm some criminal. I

do not abuse my son, why did I seek inpatient treatment for him if I

did not care ?? Now I'm frightened they will try to remove my kids,

as stupid as DFACS can be. This is wrong !! I feel violated. I

trusted my child to them, they say he's normal - I'm the screwed up

parent " , until I meet the attending pdoc at discharge. I guess

today I'll be seeking an attorney, even with my extremely limited

finances, and against my religious beliefs of suing anyone.

Suggestions and comfort words/advice welcomed. This is just not

right !!!

Kim

Conner's mom

AS/EOBP/ADD?-???

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[Guest guest]

Unfortunately, this DFACs worker came straight to my home yesterday after I

returned his call. I had no time to clean up- just change out of work clothes

and get the folded laundry off the living room sofa ( fortunatley I did clean

some the night before) , and working even part-time along with a high-needs

child in the home does not give you a big chance to make things " spotless " . I

spend my home time parenting the kids. I have no money to have maids come out,

but I guess can put even more on my plastic if needed. I hope I answered

questions okay yesterday, I was shocked and very upset.. the guy seemed to

understand. ??? He meets my husband tommorow at his workplace. My husband is

laughing this off, wish I had that ability. I've contacted all my " advocates "

who feel this will be dropped, but they are there to back me should it " go

south " . My little boy is upset, keeps hugging me and telling me how much he

loves me. I am a great mom- by no means perfect- but I LOVE my kids !!! Sad

thing, I still am only assuming, but do not know exactly what I did to be

emotionally abusive . If it was my " tuesday night talk " and I was so " abusive "

why did'nt the staff intervene or confront me THEN. It's a psych unit for

goodness sakes, isn't that what they are supposed to do ???? I feel extremely

violated and betrayed, as well as HURT.

Kim

[Guest guest]

I have been thinking all night and all day about your experience and

those of some of the other parents on here and this evening I went to

the library and started reading about how one goes about introducing

legislation. It's a very vauge idea right now but I'm thinking of

trying to see if we can make it so all DFAC has to have a list of all

the children in the autism spectrum that live in the county and when a

complaint is recieved about them something would have to be done

besides jumping all over a hapless parent. Like maybe having to

recieve more than one complaint or only responding when the complaint

is extremely signifigant. I have a lot more research to do but it

seems to me that this is a real issue and the last thing that parents

who have signifigant issues to deal with need in their lives.

And the thing about the underwear has happened to me too. I always

say Seth is a confirmed nudist and we had a very difficult time

getting him even to wear underwear let alone the rest of his wardrobe.

One time he stripped naked at pre-school and the teacher went

balistic on us when we got there to pick him up.

Amber

>

> Unfortunately, this DFACs worker came straight to my home yesterday

after I returned his call. I had no time to clean up- just change out

of work clothes and get the folded laundry off the living room sofa (

fortunatley I did clean some the night before) , and working even

part-time along with a high-needs child in the home does not give you

a big chance to make things " spotless " . I spend my home time

parenting the kids. I have no money to have maids come out, but I

guess can put even more on my plastic if needed. I hope I answered

questions okay yesterday, I was shocked and very upset.. the guy

seemed to understand. ??? He meets my husband tommorow at his

workplace. My husband is laughing this off, wish I had that ability.

I've contacted all my " advocates " who feel this will be dropped, but

they are there to back me should it " go south " . My little boy is

upset, keeps hugging me and telling me how much he loves me. I am a

great mom- by no means perfect- but I LOVE my kids !!! Sad thing, I

still am only assuming, but do not know exactly what I did to be

emotionally abusive . If it was my " tuesday night talk " and I was so

" abusive " why did'nt the staff intervene or confront me THEN. It's a

psych unit for goodness sakes, isn't that what they are supposed to do

???? I feel extremely violated and betrayed, as well as HURT.

> Kim

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Somethime I think others know how to care for your child better then you do.

Leanne R. Back

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

I will keep this clean because my DW reminded me this after all a family site

Never the less, it sux that you had to go thru that uh hummm stuff with CPS or

whatever they call it where you are

The thing that burns my butt the most is that this was supposed to be a

stabilization and EVALUATION hospital and from what I read they were the one who

turned you in to CPS. What the he** !? They are the ones who are supposed to

tell you that you what is causing the problems with your DS! So they SHOULD know

when the kid is just playing their little game and manipulating their way off

the unit

My DW just reminded me how or DD after having been Dx as AS,PDD, And

Schizophrenia, was able to manipulate a Dr. at the County MHMR hospital into

letting her be discharged with NO MEDS!! let me tell you our DD with no meds is

like having a dinosaur in a camper ,just don't work ever !!!

to make a long story longer, we ended up having to send her to the state

hospital after this for another 6 month stay. I talked to a few Lawyers about

this and they wanted to know why I let them discharge her with no meds.......You

mean I had a choice??......

They said come and get her we need the bed.......Oh the paper work says she

reported no voices and had perfect behavior......WELL DUH she knows how to play

the game (manipulate)........

So you see these idiots on these Psych units some times need to be trained by

us

on what our children may or may not do on their units.

Sad but true,they are so used to dealing with kids who have no real illness

only behavior issues like anger or being spoiled that when they get a child with

REAL problems and needs they have no clue!

I hope you do consult a lawyer to protect yourself and your son from needless

pressure from any state agency

May God Bless you!

& Robyn and our DD Annie 16 and DD Allie 5 (going on 30)

Leanne Back <lback1767@...> wrote:

Somethime I think others know how to care for your child better then

you do.

Leanne R. Back

---------------------------------

How low will we go? Check out Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates.

[Guest guest]

Leanne,

I have LOTS of folks to back me up !!! I've contacted almost ALL of them , who

are also in disbelief over the whole situation. I took him there to get help, I

advocated loudly in a crummy system, and they are paying me back. If I were " so

abusive " , and I'm only assuming it must be the night I talked abruptly to my

son ??, I was on a camera, the door was wide open, we were on a psych unit.

Why did they not intervene then, I was crying for help.?? Is that not their job

?? ( No my son confirms they easedropped and apparently asked him leading

questions afterwards ? ) Why was the offending incident not mentioned at his

d/c conference ??? I'm trying not to worry, and rely deeply on my faith. The

person who did this to us WANTS to wreck our lives and make me worry, they are

being " revengeful " . Because I was a parent who asked too many questions and

challenged their system they said " ah ha, we will show her " !!! It's wrong, but

we will survive- this vindictive " reporter " does not realize who she is dealing

with or our unique circumstances, and that " she " may have to answer for her

inappropriate actions eventually as well. You are right, I WAS UPSET, with

genuine right to be- and parents explode too. We are human. However, sadly for

us, it was handled very inappropriately. Still one day at a time. If I suspect

an abusive situation with one of my familes, unless it were a true " life or

death " issue, I always give the family a " heads up " , and a chance to remedy the

situation, and appropriate resources before reporting them to DFACS, that's only

FAIR to anyone.

Kim

[Guest guest]

Thanks and Robyn. To support us, please keep us in your prayers.

Kim

[Guest guest]

Kim,

I do not believe that you have anything to worry about, It looks to me like

you were a whistle blower on the inadequate way they handled your DS.

Like I have always been outspoken about everything from treatment to meds used

they like to play the " oh you are only her step-father so you have no say "

card

Well guess what they were wrong there too because of my paramedic back ground

and military medic days they have nothing to say when I question them in medical

terms they think most parents don't know

All in all they have found out that not only do I know their little games of

using big words, but also know that they can't say something and expect us not

to know

what they mean I also go to different web sites like Defective drugs .com

to look up the meds they want to put Annie on

I even had to threaten a Dr.for wanting to put my DD on Nurontin a med that

is only approved for epileptics and not for schizophrenics BIG CLASS ACTION LAW

SUITS pending. I told them if they even hinted putting her on this med I would

see them in court and wouldn't you know it they transferred her to another

hospital and have refused to treat her....Why?? Because I called them on this

drug that was not approved to treat my DD's Dx.

I'm so glad to see you are a fighter and will not roll over to whatever they

try to pull

you would be surprised to see how many parents do

" mcgkcc@... " <mcgkcc@...> wrote:

Leanne,

I have LOTS of folks to back me up !!! I've contacted almost ALL of them , who

are also in disbelief over the whole situation. I took him there to get help, I

advocated loudly in a crummy system, and they are paying me back. If I were " so

abusive " , and I'm only assuming it must be the night I talked abruptly to my

son ??, I was on a camera, the door was wide open, we were on a psych unit. Why

did they not intervene then, I was crying for help.?? Is that not their job ?? (

No my son confirms they easedropped and apparently asked him leading questions

afterwards ? ) Why was the offending incident not mentioned at his d/c

conference ??? I'm trying not to worry, and rely deeply on my faith. The person

who did this to us WANTS to wreck our lives and make me worry, they are being

" revengeful " . Because I was a parent who asked too many questions and challenged

their system they said " ah ha, we will show her " !!! It's wrong, but we will

survive- this vindictive " reporter " does not

realize who she is dealing with or our unique circumstances, and that " she " may

have to answer for her inappropriate actions eventually as well. You are right,

I WAS UPSET, with genuine right to be- and parents explode too. We are human.

However, sadly for us, it was handled very inappropriately. Still one day at a

time. If I suspect an abusive situation with one of my familes, unless it were a

true " life or death " issue, I always give the family a " heads up " , and a chance

to remedy the situation, and appropriate resources before reporting them to

DFACS, that's only FAIR to anyone.

Kim

[Guest guest]

My DS was the same way when he was on the Psych ward for a week and during

after care. He is real cute and knew how to use his cuteness to get what he

wanted. so they did dc him. but luckly one of my neighbors was incharge of the

ward and knew us as parents. so she was able to make sure that the Dr knew that

the behavior at home was fact not fiction made up by us. I have had plenty of

teachers tell me that All that Ds needs is to be loved. This kid gets alot of

love, sometimes too much love and not enough disapline. GGGRRRRR..... Again Some

people think they can take care of your child better they you can.

Leanne R. Back

---------------------------------

Want to be your own boss? Learn how on Small Business.

[Guest guest]

lol. I can relate to the confirmed nudist. How old is yours. Mine was 6 when i

sent him to summer camp. I got a call about 1 hr later to tell me that he had

escaped the camp and that a very shocked and concerned neighbor of the day camp

(mind you the camp is located in an upscale neighboorhood of Cincinnati) stated

she was reading her paper when she saw a very pale naked little boy frolicking

in her backyard. Fortunately she had that prescence of mind to figure out that

he was an escapee from summer camp or this could have ended worse. I was

immediately called to pick him up and when i confronted him he said he was hot.

Well i have to give him that point, it was above 90 that day. In between trying

not to laugh i had to explain to him that not all people appreciate seeing a

naked boy when that are trying to have a quiet cup of coffee. They do grow out

of it eventually, although sometimes we still have trouble keeping his clothes

on at home but it is getting better.

Amber <tootsanderson@...> wrote: I have been thinking all night

and all day about your experience and

those of some of the other parents on here and this evening I went to

the library and started reading about how one goes about introducing

legislation. It's a very vauge idea right now but I'm thinking of

trying to see if we can make it so all DFAC has to have a list of all

the children in the autism spectrum that live in the county and when a

complaint is recieved about them something would have to be done

besides jumping all over a hapless parent. Like maybe having to

recieve more than one complaint or only responding when the complaint

is extremely signifigant. I have a lot more research to do but it

seems to me that this is a real issue and the last thing that parents

who have signifigant issues to deal with need in their lives.

And the thing about the underwear has happened to me too. I always

say Seth is a confirmed nudist and we had a very difficult time

getting him even to wear underwear let alone the rest of his wardrobe.

One time he stripped naked at pre-school and the teacher went

balistic on us when we got there to pick him up.

Amber

>

> Unfortunately, this DFACs worker came straight to my home yesterday

after I returned his call. I had no time to clean up- just change out

of work clothes and get the folded laundry off the living room sofa (

fortunatley I did clean some the night before) , and working even

part-time along with a high-needs child in the home does not give you

a big chance to make things " spotless " . I spend my home time

parenting the kids. I have no money to have maids come out, but I

guess can put even more on my plastic if needed. I hope I answered

questions okay yesterday, I was shocked and very upset.. the guy

seemed to understand. ??? He meets my husband tommorow at his

workplace. My husband is laughing this off, wish I had that ability.

I've contacted all my " advocates " who feel this will be dropped, but

they are there to back me should it " go south " . My little boy is

upset, keeps hugging me and telling me how much he loves me. I am a

great mom- by no means perfect- but I LOVE my kids !!! Sad thing, I

still am only assuming, but do not know exactly what I did to be

emotionally abusive . If it was my " tuesday night talk " and I was so

" abusive " why did'nt the staff intervene or confront me THEN. It's a

psych unit for goodness sakes, isn't that what they are supposed to do

???? I feel extremely violated and betrayed, as well as HURT.

> Kim

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

He's five. For the longest time we couldn't even get him to wear

underwear but now we are working on all his clothes. That is not

working very well but at least we have underwaer consistency.

Amber

> >

> > Unfortunately, this DFACs worker came straight to my home yesterday

> after I returned his call. I had no time to clean up- just change out

> of work clothes and get the folded laundry off the living room sofa (

> fortunatley I did clean some the night before) , and working even

> part-time along with a high-needs child in the home does not give you

> a big chance to make things " spotless " . I spend my home time

> parenting the kids. I have no money to have maids come out, but I

> guess can put even more on my plastic if needed. I hope I answered

> questions okay yesterday, I was shocked and very upset.. the guy

> seemed to understand. ??? He meets my husband tommorow at his

> workplace. My husband is laughing this off, wish I had that ability.

> I've contacted all my " advocates " who feel this will be dropped, but

> they are there to back me should it " go south " . My little boy is

> upset, keeps hugging me and telling me how much he loves me. I am a

> great mom- by no means perfect- but I LOVE my kids !!! Sad thing, I

> still am only assuming, but do not know exactly what I did to be

> emotionally abusive . If it was my " tuesday night talk " and I was so

> " abusive " why did'nt the staff intervene or confront me THEN. It's a

> psych unit for goodness sakes, isn't that what they are supposed to do

> ???? I feel extremely violated and betrayed, as well as HURT.

> > Kim

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

No lawyer, yet. I'm broke and cannot afford legal services, but will CHARGE it

if I have to. My folks and local churches also willing to help it things start

" looking bad " for us. All the people I spoke to about this are is shock also.

They KNOW I'm a GREAT mom !!! My boss say's report the pdocs to the STATE

MEDICAL BOARD- he's on the State Board- so that's kinda funny/ironic. I'm

trying not to worry, it's so HARD, but shouldn't be because I didn't do anything

wrong !!! Life goes on, and I can not allow this

stupidity/violation/vindication to affect my daily activites . Relying heavily

on my FAITH !!! . I did call the floor tonight at the phosp and talked to the

charge nurse. She was not there during my son's admission- but this lady was

actually pleasant and professional. She listened, I was calm, and she agreed

with me !!! She's going to call her supervisor and inform him/her of this

inappropriate situation and try to contact my son's attending pdoc-( who seems

to have disappeared all the sudden when I try to contact her - that's

interesting-?? ) Maybe they can help get this " cleared up " ??? One day at a

time - and faith to survive on. DFACS to meet my husband Thursday and my

daughter ???, My son will be going to my parents next week to spend a week

there- all ready planned.

Kim

[Guest guest]

lol. mine hates underwear so i made a comprimise and let him wear boxers. He

really likes that. For some reason he is really bothered by the tightie whities.

Only really problem we had was boxers with shorts but he solved that by wearing

short boxers, in other words last years models lol. He will not wear a shirt at

home but is horrified if he has to take his shirt of outside home (go figure) I

asked him once why he wont go bare chested in public he said he did not want

anyone to see his breast, yeah i got a good laugh out of that one but i guess

for him it was a real dilimea. He is ok when he is swimming. This comes from a

kid who streaked through our neighborhood and several others when he was

younger. They are confusing and interesting people. There is hope maybe one day

he wont want to run around nude, maybe. good luck

Amber <tootsanderson@...> wrote: He's five. For the longest

time we couldn't even get him to wear

underwear but now we are working on all his clothes. That is not

working very well but at least we have underwaer consistency.

Amber

> >

> > Unfortunately, this DFACs worker came straight to my home yesterday

> after I returned his call. I had no time to clean up- just change out

> of work clothes and get the folded laundry off the living room sofa (

> fortunatley I did clean some the night before) , and working even

> part-time along with a high-needs child in the home does not give you

> a big chance to make things " spotless " . I spend my home time

> parenting the kids. I have no money to have maids come out, but I

> guess can put even more on my plastic if needed. I hope I answered

> questions okay yesterday, I was shocked and very upset.. the guy

> seemed to understand. ??? He meets my husband tommorow at his

> workplace. My husband is laughing this off, wish I had that ability.

> I've contacted all my " advocates " who feel this will be dropped, but

> they are there to back me should it " go south " . My little boy is

> upset, keeps hugging me and telling me how much he loves me. I am a

> great mom- by no means perfect- but I LOVE my kids !!! Sad thing, I

> still am only assuming, but do not know exactly what I did to be

> emotionally abusive . If it was my " tuesday night talk " and I was so

> " abusive " why did'nt the staff intervene or confront me THEN. It's a

> psych unit for goodness sakes, isn't that what they are supposed to do

> ???? I feel extremely violated and betrayed, as well as HURT.

> > Kim

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi,

GOOD NEWS !!!! Friday the attending pdoc at the phosp and our DFACS

caseworker talked. Friday when the DFACS guy met my husband, and of

course I was there too to keep him " calm " , my " emotional abuse " case

was officially CLOSED !!! I should get the clearance letter next

week.

The phosp is launching an " internal investigation " into the concerns

over my sons inpatient stay. They agree it was handled

inappropriately, and I learned from my son's phosp attending pdoc

Wednesday, that this " DFACS potential report " was considered , but

after the attending pdoc met with me that Thursday at my sons

discharge conference she told the staff NOT to file a report with

DFACS. However, it somehow got reported- and " slipped thru the

cracks " . She asked what she could do for me, I told her " she needed

to undig the hole her staff had dug for me behind my back. "

Hopefully our sub-standard phosp experience will result in better

care at this phosp for their future patients and families. The

attending pdoc appreciates my concerns, and now has administration

involved. What is hard for me is that I actually like this attending

pdoc- and desire her to be involved with my sons care. She is

accessable 24/7, specializes in PDD- with inpatient care if necessary

available- unlike our local ped pdoc. I would like to continue to

videotape my sons behaviors at home, when possible, and have her

review these tapes and give me feedback. I left a message with her

today to see if she will continue to care for my son, and of course

consult together WITH local ped pdoc as well. ?? She may say no, but

I know now this phosp WILL now respect us- and I would hate to have

to " start over " ( both financially and emotionally ) at a different

facility - I'm tired !! There are also actually several local

community resources I am interested in to help us with our unique

situation and circumstances. I have not been successful on my own,

although trying way before my sons recent hospitalization, to see if

we could even qualify for these services. I think I will ask the

phosp attending pdoc to see if her staff can further inquire about

these resources, and maybe their observations/concerns could open up

access to these resources. ?? I asked the DFACS guy yesterday, but

since the case is now " CLOSED " , he says they probably can not help

us. Go figure on that one !!!!

Now I can focus on my family's welfare vs. worrying about this CPS

agency on my back. I can sleep and eat now, and clean my house on my

own schedule. My son is relieved, as he was thinking this was ALL

his little fault. However, if some of his tantrums-meltdowns-self-

injury, aggression issues are actually under his control ( which I

have my doubts - he's not a bad child and wants " help " ) maybe he

will work harder to control them, because he did not like seeing his

MOM under all this stress, MOM getting in " trouble " for trying to

help him, and the potential prospect of being " taken away " from MOM

since I am his advocate. My son loves me and understands I want to

help him. But if he's in a " rage " , no talking in the world will do

any good. I'm learning something new each day in this

incredible " journey " .

Thanks for all your opinions, advice and words of comfort during

this " crisis " . I'm sure there will be more " crises " to occur down the

road. I'm glad I've found such a supportive group to be a part of.

Kim - one tired mama , works PT as PA-C

Conner 9.5 yo, BP?AS?ADD ?? my dx.s- Abilify, Tenex, Metadate ER,

Prozac ( which I'm watching carefully )

Kayleigh 8yo, NT, asthma

ny - daddy , works 2 jobs, one puts kids thru private school as

he works at school

[Guest guest]

Yeah!!!! That is such GREAT NEWS! I can imagine

how relieved you are now!

Roxanna ôô

“If you’ve told a child a thousand times and he still does not understand,

then it is not the child who is the slow learner.”

Walter Barbee

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of maternalcaregiver

Sent: Saturday, July 15, 2006 4:12 AM

Subject: Re: ( ) Help advice needed, I'm shocked and upset

Hi,

GOOD NEWS !!!! Friday the attending pdoc at the phosp and our DFACS

caseworker talked. Friday when the DFACS guy met my husband, and of

course I was there too to keep him " calm " , my " emotional abuse " case

was officially CLOSED !!! I should get the clearance letter next

week.

--

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[Guest guest]

Whoo hooo! I'm so happy for you. I'm so very sorry that this happened to you,

but hopefully this will be a new beginning for you all!

Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: Yeah!!!! That is such GREAT

NEWS! I can imagine

how relieved you are now!

Roxanna ôô

“If you’ve told a child a thousand times and he still does not understand,

then it is not the child who is the slow learner.”

Walter Barbee

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of maternalcaregiver

Sent: Saturday, July 15, 2006 4:12 AM

Subject: Re: ( ) Help advice needed, I'm shocked and upset

Hi,

GOOD NEWS !!!! Friday the attending pdoc at the phosp and our DFACS

caseworker talked. Friday when the DFACS guy met my husband, and of

course I was there too to keep him " calm " , my " emotional abuse " case

was officially CLOSED !!! I should get the clearance letter next

week.

--

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG Free Edition.

Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.10.1/389 - Release Date: 7/14/2006

--

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Free Edition.

Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.10.1/389 - Release Date: 7/14/2006