Re: Should I tell my son the only father hes known isnt his biological father?RE

[Guest guest]

in answer to your question, nothing has changed.I still havent told my son

anything.His dr put him on strattera because hes having problems in class and

when I asked the dr privately what to do he said wait.Being that the biological

father is in Iraq(signed up for the army on his 27 birthday) and wont be back in

the US for at least 10 months, he said theres no need to tell him anything now

anyway.Then he said something that caught me off gaurd but I found it funny-he

was totally joking but said " who knows maybe he will get blown up by a bomb and

you wont have to worry about him anyway " (the dr has been seeing my son since

birth so hes fimiliar with the situation and my concerns )he quickly cught

himself and said he hoped he hadnt offended me.But given the frustration I had

to admit that I had given that some thought myself. Not hoping it would happen,

but I guess telling myself that to stop myself from worrying about it for the

time being. As for said father(rolling my

eyes) he and I exchanged a couple IMs and I mentioned the fact that in every

email and IM he sent me he never asked about our son, only about me. He said it

was because he 'had time to know our son later " and wanted to know about me now

and that would give him a better idea of who our son is. I told him that asking

personal questions about my sex life was totally out of line and telling me he

wouldnt take me to court and try to get visitation if I promised to be his

friend was crazy at best .Then I told him Id answer any questions about our son

but if it didnt relate to him I wouldnt answer andything. So he had the nerve to

tell me to write a detailed summary of the last 10 years. AGain I told him id

answer any questions he had, and he continued to ask things that were unrelated

to our son , eventually getting annoied with me repeting myself he stopped IMing

me. So I guess the wait begins and I will see what he wants to do when hes back

from Iraq. Is it bad to hope he

gets hurt and comes home with amnesia and remembers everything after he stopped

seeing our son but doesnt remember anything before( like my son or myself??)

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Sounds like my son, I

asked him what he would do (if someone tried to kidnapp him) and he said he'd

karate chop them! Anyway, to your question, that's a really tough one. With an

AS kid as well as ANY kid, that would be really tough to understand all of a

sudden this new " real " father coming into his life when he's never been around

before for him. That would throw a million emotions in the air. Because he has

such a great " father " in his life now, I personally wouldn't say anything since

he's only 10. But at the same time, I honestly don't know what the " right " thing

to do is. Maybe you can talk to a therapist (prefferably one who is familiar

with AS) who can guide you in the right direction. I'm a little late on reading

posts so if somethings been done already I'd love to hear the outcome or how

things are going now.

iamtiffiney <iamtiffiney@...> wrote: I had my son when I was 17 and his

father saw him once or twice a

month (if that)until he was about 2 and then totally dropped any and

all contact. hes now 10 and has been raised by another man whome hes

come to know and love as his father.he took upon himself to call him

dad.This is the man whos changed his diapers, held him when he was

sick,walked him to his first days of school, gone to confrences,

coached his soccer team, and all the other wonderful things fathers

do. Then yesterday out of the blue the biological father emailed me

and wants to resume contact as though nothings happened. I told him

that our son doesnt know about him and that I dont think hed

understand and he insists he will be fine . I know my son has a right

to know and I intend on telling him, when hes emotionally mature. I

found out I was adopted when I was 14 and it totally distroyed me

mentally for about a year.I know intellictually my son is advanced ,

but emotionally hes about 5 or 7. To give you an idea of his maturity

level, I asked him what he should do if someone tried to grab him

when hes outside playing(kidnap him) and he said hed body slam them

and get away. I asked what hed do if someone got him in hteir car and

he said hed pull out his light saber and fight them. Obviously my 10

yr old is in no way capable of body slamming anyone , and he doesnt

carry a light saber in his back pack. So how can he possibly be ready

to deal with finding out thatt he only father hes known isnt his

father and that his real father abandoned him.The biological father

has 2 daughters 7 and 5 I think. And hes married. He hasnt considered

contacting me about our son until his son was born 2 months ago. Now

all the sudden he wants to be daddy to our son. I dont think he will

be able to emotionally deal with the situation right now. Any

suggestions??

[Guest guest]

Way to stand your ground! Sounds to me like he needs a good butt-kicking (or

what the Dr. said I wouldn't feel bad about feeling that way. You have every

right to be angry, hurt, upset, frustrated. The fact that he would be asking you

questions regarding your sex life and not asking about his son, only goes to

show what kind of a man he is (or isn't).

Tiffiney krebs <iamtiffiney@...> wrote: in answer to your

question, nothing has changed.I still havent told my son anything.His dr put him

on strattera because hes having problems in class and when I asked the dr

privately what to do he said wait.Being that the biological father is in

Iraq(signed up for the army on his 27 birthday) and wont be back in the US for

at least 10 months, he said theres no need to tell him anything now anyway.Then

he said something that caught me off gaurd but I found it funny-he was totally

joking but said " who knows maybe he will get blown up by a bomb and you wont

have to worry about him anyway " (the dr has been seeing my son since birth so

hes fimiliar with the situation and my concerns )he quickly cught himself and

said he hoped he hadnt offended me.But given the frustration I had to admit that

I had given that some thought myself. Not hoping it would happen, but I guess

telling myself that to stop myself from worrying about it

for the time being. As for said father(rolling my

eyes) he and I exchanged a couple IMs and I mentioned the fact that in every

email and IM he sent me he never asked about our son, only about me. He said it

was because he 'had time to know our son later " and wanted to know about me now

and that would give him a better idea of who our son is. I told him that asking

personal questions about my sex life was totally out of line and telling me he

wouldnt take me to court and try to get visitation if I promised to be his

friend was crazy at best .Then I told him Id answer any questions about our son

but if it didnt relate to him I wouldnt answer andything. So he had the nerve to

tell me to write a detailed summary of the last 10 years. AGain I told him id

answer any questions he had, and he continued to ask things that were unrelated

to our son , eventually getting annoied with me repeting myself he stopped IMing

me. So I guess the wait begins and I will see what he wants to do when hes back

from Iraq. Is it bad to hope he

gets hurt and comes home with amnesia and remembers everything after he stopped

seeing our son but doesnt remember anything before( like my son or myself??)

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Sounds like my son, I asked him

what he would do (if someone tried to kidnapp him) and he said he'd karate chop

them! Anyway, to your question, that's a really tough one. With an AS kid as

well as ANY kid, that would be really tough to understand all of a sudden this

new " real " father coming into his life when he's never been around before for

him. That would throw a million emotions in the air. Because he has such a great

" father " in his life now, I personally wouldn't say anything since he's only 10.

But at the same time, I honestly don't know what the " right " thing to do is.

Maybe you can talk to a therapist (prefferably one who is familiar with AS) who

can guide you in the right direction. I'm a little late on reading posts so if

somethings been done already I'd love to hear the outcome or how things are

going now.

iamtiffiney <iamtiffiney@...> wrote: I had my son when I was 17 and his

father saw him once or twice a

month (if that)until he was about 2 and then totally dropped any and

all contact. hes now 10 and has been raised by another man whome hes

come to know and love as his father.he took upon himself to call him

dad.This is the man whos changed his diapers, held him when he was

sick,walked him to his first days of school, gone to confrences,

coached his soccer team, and all the other wonderful things fathers

do. Then yesterday out of the blue the biological father emailed me

and wants to resume contact as though nothings happened. I told him

that our son doesnt know about him and that I dont think hed

understand and he insists he will be fine . I know my son has a right

to know and I intend on telling him, when hes emotionally mature. I

found out I was adopted when I was 14 and it totally distroyed me

mentally for about a year.I know intellictually my son is advanced ,

but emotionally hes about 5 or 7. To give you an idea of his maturity

level, I asked him what he should do if someone tried to grab him

when hes outside playing(kidnap him) and he said hed body slam them

and get away. I asked what hed do if someone got him in hteir car and

he said hed pull out his light saber and fight them. Obviously my 10

yr old is in no way capable of body slamming anyone , and he doesnt

carry a light saber in his back pack. So how can he possibly be ready

to deal with finding out thatt he only father hes known isnt his

father and that his real father abandoned him.The biological father

has 2 daughters 7 and 5 I think. And hes married. He hasnt considered

contacting me about our son until his son was born 2 months ago. Now

all the sudden he wants to be daddy to our son. I dont think he will

be able to emotionally deal with the situation right now. Any

suggestions??

[Guest guest]

,

Maybe it might be a good idea " not to " give any information about your son.

((( " nothing " ))).

the reason why is: When he does take you to court for visitation. and you

explain to the court that he never wanted anything to do with your son. Your

attorney will ask his (father) to complete a form that ask every kind of

question about his son. example: How old he is, what school does he go to, the

name of his doctor, etc... you will also have that same form. let the court

see how many questions he can answer correctly. This wont stop the visitation,

but you can request supervised visits, due to the fact that they both don't know

each other and the father is a stranger to your son. You can also tell the

court you want nothing to do with the father as far as relationship goes with

you & him, and to avoid confusion with the father, tell the court you would like

a drop off place(for visits) where you don't have to deal with the father. So,

if 'you' are all the father wants to see. this will soon get old and he will

get tired of this. Keep track of everything

like, did your son come back hungry, hurt? check him out really good. try to

answer any questions with a yes or no if possible. keep it short. If he

threatens you with court.(by saying, I'll take you to court) then say to him,

then this conversation is finished, I'll see you in court....(hang up). also,

maybe your boyfriend would like to be on the phone when he calls to speak to

you. (make sure he knows he's on the phone). I bet he wouldn't want to talk

too long then.

best wishes HUGS

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Way to stand your ground! Sounds to me like he needs a good

butt-kicking (or what the Dr. said I wouldn't feel bad about feeling that

way. You have every right to be angry, hurt, upset, frustrated. The fact that he

would be asking you questions regarding your sex life and not asking about his

son, only goes to show what kind of a man he is (or isn't).

Tiffiney krebs <iamtiffiney@...> wrote: in answer to your question,

nothing has changed.I still havent told my son anything.His dr put him on

strattera because hes having problems in class and when I asked the dr privately

what to do he said wait.Being that the biological father is in Iraq(signed up

for the army on his 27 birthday) and wont be back in the US for at least 10

months, he said theres no need to tell him anything now anyway.Then he said

something that caught me off gaurd but I found it funny-he was totally joking

but said " who knows maybe he will get blown up by a bomb and you wont have to

worry about him anyway " (the dr has been seeing my son since birth so hes

fimiliar with the situation and my concerns )he quickly cught himself and said

he hoped he hadnt offended me.But given the frustration I had to admit that I

had given that some thought myself. Not hoping it would happen, but I guess

telling myself that to stop myself from worrying about it

for the time being. As for said father(rolling my

eyes) he and I exchanged a couple IMs and I mentioned the fact that in every

email and IM he sent me he never asked about our son, only about me. He said it

was because he 'had time to know our son later " and wanted to know about me now

and that would give him a better idea of who our son is. I told him that asking

personal questions about my sex life was totally out of line and telling me he

wouldnt take me to court and try to get visitation if I promised to be his

friend was crazy at best .Then I told him Id answer any questions about our son

but if it didnt relate to him I wouldnt answer andything. So he had the nerve to

tell me to write a detailed summary of the last 10 years. AGain I told him id

answer any questions he had, and he continued to ask things that were unrelated

to our son , eventually getting annoied with me repeting myself he stopped IMing

me. So I guess the wait begins and I will see what he wants to do when hes back

from Iraq. Is it bad to hope he

gets hurt and comes home with amnesia and remembers everything after he stopped

seeing our son but doesnt remember anything before( like my son or myself??)

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Sounds like my son, I asked him

what he would do (if someone tried to kidnapp him) and he said he'd karate chop

them! Anyway, to your question, that's a really tough one. With an AS kid as

well as ANY kid, that would be really tough to understand all of a sudden this

new " real " father coming into his life when he's never been around before for

him. That would throw a million emotions in the air. Because he has such a great

" father " in his life now, I personally wouldn't say anything since he's only 10.

But at the same time, I honestly don't know what the " right " thing to do is.

Maybe you can talk to a therapist (prefferably one who is familiar with AS) who

can guide you in the right direction. I'm a little late on reading posts so if

somethings been done already I'd love to hear the outcome or how things are

going now.

iamtiffiney <iamtiffiney@...> wrote: I had my son when I was 17 and his

father saw him once or twice a

month (if that)until he was about 2 and then totally dropped any and

all contact. hes now 10 and has been raised by another man whome hes

come to know and love as his father.he took upon himself to call him

dad.This is the man whos changed his diapers, held him when he was

sick,walked him to his first days of school, gone to confrences,

coached his soccer team, and all the other wonderful things fathers

do. Then yesterday out of the blue the biological father emailed me

and wants to resume contact as though nothings happened. I told him

that our son doesnt know about him and that I dont think hed

understand and he insists he will be fine . I know my son has a right

to know and I intend on telling him, when hes emotionally mature. I

found out I was adopted when I was 14 and it totally distroyed me

mentally for about a year.I know intellictually my son is advanced ,

but emotionally hes about 5 or 7. To give you an idea of his maturity

level, I asked him what he should do if someone tried to grab him

when hes outside playing(kidnap him) and he said hed body slam them

and get away. I asked what hed do if someone got him in hteir car and

he said hed pull out his light saber and fight them. Obviously my 10

yr old is in no way capable of body slamming anyone , and he doesnt

carry a light saber in his back pack. So how can he possibly be ready

to deal with finding out thatt he only father hes known isnt his

father and that his real father abandoned him.The biological father

has 2 daughters 7 and 5 I think. And hes married. He hasnt considered

contacting me about our son until his son was born 2 months ago. Now

all the sudden he wants to be daddy to our son. I dont think he will

be able to emotionally deal with the situation right now. Any

suggestions??

[Guest guest]

Those are all really good suggestions. I'd also maybe (if you do choose to let

him see him) get the visits to be supervised. That way he can't ask your son

about your life. It would totally confuse your son if he is able to have free

reign on the conversation.

Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: ,

Maybe it might be a good idea " not to " give any information about your son.

((( " nothing " ))).

the reason why is: When he does take you to court for visitation. and you

explain to the court that he never wanted anything to do with your son. Your

attorney will ask his (father) to complete a form that ask every kind of

question about his son. example: How old he is, what school does he go to, the

name of his doctor, etc... you will also have that same form. let the court see

how many questions he can answer correctly. This wont stop the visitation, but

you can request supervised visits, due to the fact that they both don't know

each other and the father is a stranger to your son. You can also tell the court

you want nothing to do with the father as far as relationship goes with you &

him, and to avoid confusion with the father, tell the court you would like a

drop off place(for visits) where you don't have to deal with the father. So, if

'you' are all the father wants to see. this will soon get old and he will get

tired of this. Keep track of everything

like, did your son come back hungry, hurt? check him out really good. try to

answer any questions with a yes or no if possible. keep it short. If he

threatens you with court.(by saying, I'll take you to court) then say to him,

then this conversation is finished, I'll see you in court....(hang up). also,

maybe your boyfriend would like to be on the phone when he calls to speak to

you. (make sure he knows he's on the phone). I bet he wouldn't want to talk too

long then.

best wishes HUGS

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Way to stand your ground! Sounds to me like he needs a good butt-kicking (or

what the Dr. said I wouldn't feel bad about feeling that way. You have every

right to be angry, hurt, upset, frustrated. The fact that he would be asking you

questions regarding your sex life and not asking about his son, only goes to

show what kind of a man he is (or isn't).

Tiffiney krebs <iamtiffiney@...> wrote: in answer to your question,

nothing has changed.I still havent told my son anything.His dr put him on

strattera because hes having problems in class and when I asked the dr privately

what to do he said wait.Being that the biological father is in Iraq(signed up

for the army on his 27 birthday) and wont be back in the US for at least 10

months, he said theres no need to tell him anything now anyway.Then he said

something that caught me off gaurd but I found it funny-he was totally joking

but said " who knows maybe he will get blown up by a bomb and you wont have to

worry about him anyway " (the dr has been seeing my son since birth so hes

fimiliar with the situation and my concerns )he quickly cught himself and said

he hoped he hadnt offended me.But given the frustration I had to admit that I

had given that some thought myself. Not hoping it would happen, but I guess

telling myself that to stop myself from worrying about it

for the time being. As for said father(rolling my

eyes) he and I exchanged a couple IMs and I mentioned the fact that in every

email and IM he sent me he never asked about our son, only about me. He said it

was because he 'had time to know our son later " and wanted to know about me now

and that would give him a better idea of who our son is. I told him that asking

personal questions about my sex life was totally out of line and telling me he

wouldnt take me to court and try to get visitation if I promised to be his

friend was crazy at best .Then I told him Id answer any questions about our son

but if it didnt relate to him I wouldnt answer andything. So he had the nerve to

tell me to write a detailed summary of the last 10 years. AGain I told him id

answer any questions he had, and he continued to ask things that were unrelated

to our son , eventually getting annoied with me repeting myself he stopped IMing

me. So I guess the wait begins and I will see what he wants to do when hes back

from Iraq. Is it bad to hope he

gets hurt and comes home with amnesia and remembers everything after he stopped

seeing our son but doesnt remember anything before( like my son or myself??)

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Sounds like my son, I asked him

what he would do (if someone tried to kidnapp him) and he said he'd karate chop

them! Anyway, to your question, that's a really tough one. With an AS kid as

well as ANY kid, that would be really tough to understand all of a sudden this

new " real " father coming into his life when he's never been around before for

him. That would throw a million emotions in the air. Because he has such a great

" father " in his life now, I personally wouldn't say anything since he's only 10.

But at the same time, I honestly don't know what the " right " thing to do is.

Maybe you can talk to a therapist (prefferably one who is familiar with AS) who

can guide you in the right direction. I'm a little late on reading posts so if

somethings been done already I'd love to hear the outcome or how things are

going now.

iamtiffiney <iamtiffiney@...> wrote: I had my son when I was 17 and his

father saw him once or twice a

month (if that)until he was about 2 and then totally dropped any and

all contact. hes now 10 and has been raised by another man whome hes

come to know and love as his father.he took upon himself to call him

dad.This is the man whos changed his diapers, held him when he was

sick,walked him to his first days of school, gone to confrences,

coached his soccer team, and all the other wonderful things fathers

do. Then yesterday out of the blue the biological father emailed me

and wants to resume contact as though nothings happened. I told him

that our son doesnt know about him and that I dont think hed

understand and he insists he will be fine . I know my son has a right

to know and I intend on telling him, when hes emotionally mature. I

found out I was adopted when I was 14 and it totally distroyed me

mentally for about a year.I know intellictually my son is advanced ,

but emotionally hes about 5 or 7. To give you an idea of his maturity

level, I asked him what he should do if someone tried to grab him

when hes outside playing(kidnap him) and he said hed body slam them

and get away. I asked what hed do if someone got him in hteir car and

he said hed pull out his light saber and fight them. Obviously my 10

yr old is in no way capable of body slamming anyone , and he doesnt

carry a light saber in his back pack. So how can he possibly be ready

to deal with finding out thatt he only father hes known isnt his

father and that his real father abandoned him.The biological father

has 2 daughters 7 and 5 I think. And hes married. He hasnt considered

contacting me about our son until his son was born 2 months ago. Now

all the sudden he wants to be daddy to our son. I dont think he will

be able to emotionally deal with the situation right now. Any

suggestions??

[Guest guest]

Yes!!! have that said right from the beginning. completely supervised.

conversation as well...I think that is called. Don't let him ploy your

child???(for information). If that is not the right word. please correct with

the right word for her.

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Those are all really

good suggestions. I'd also maybe (if you do choose to let him see him) get the

visits to be supervised. That way he can't ask your son about your life. It

would totally confuse your son if he is able to have free reign on the

conversation.

Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: ,

Maybe it might be a good idea " not to " give any information about your son.

((( " nothing " ))).

the reason why is: When he does take you to court for visitation. and you

explain to the court that he never wanted anything to do with your son. Your

attorney will ask his (father) to complete a form that ask every kind of

question about his son. example: How old he is, what school does he go to, the

name of his doctor, etc... you will also have that same form. let the court see

how many questions he can answer correctly. This wont stop the visitation, but

you can request supervised visits, due to the fact that they both don't know

each other and the father is a stranger to your son. You can also tell the court

you want nothing to do with the father as far as relationship goes with you &

him, and to avoid confusion with the father, tell the court you would like a

drop off place(for visits) where you don't have to deal with the father. So, if

'you' are all the father wants to see. this will soon get old and he will get

tired of this. Keep track of everything

like, did your son come back hungry, hurt? check him out really good. try to

answer any questions with a yes or no if possible. keep it short. If he

threatens you with court.(by saying, I'll take you to court) then say to him,

then this conversation is finished, I'll see you in court....(hang up). also,

maybe your boyfriend would like to be on the phone when he calls to speak to

you. (make sure he knows he's on the phone). I bet he wouldn't want to talk too

long then.

best wishes HUGS

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

Way to stand your ground! Sounds to me like he needs a good butt-kicking (or

what the Dr. said I wouldn't feel bad about feeling that way. You have every

right to be angry, hurt, upset, frustrated. The fact that he would be asking you

questions regarding your sex life and not asking about his son, only goes to

show what kind of a man he is (or isn't).

Tiffiney krebs <iamtiffiney@...> wrote: in answer to your question,

nothing has changed.I still havent told my son anything.His dr put him on

strattera because hes having problems in class and when I asked the dr privately

what to do he said wait.Being that the biological father is in Iraq(signed up

for the army on his 27 birthday) and wont be back in the US for at least 10

months, he said theres no need to tell him anything now anyway.Then he said

something that caught me off gaurd but I found it funny-he was totally joking

but said " who knows maybe he will get blown up by a bomb and you wont have to

worry about him anyway " (the dr has been seeing my son since birth so hes

fimiliar with the situation and my concerns )he quickly cught himself and said

he hoped he hadnt offended me.But given the frustration I had to admit that I

had given that some thought myself. Not hoping it would happen, but I guess

telling myself that to stop myself from worrying about it

for the time being. As for said father(rolling my

eyes) he and I exchanged a couple IMs and I mentioned the fact that in every

email and IM he sent me he never asked about our son, only about me. He said it

was because he 'had time to know our son later " and wanted to know about me now

and that would give him a better idea of who our son is. I told him that asking

personal questions about my sex life was totally out of line and telling me he

wouldnt take me to court and try to get visitation if I promised to be his

friend was crazy at best .Then I told him Id answer any questions about our son

but if it didnt relate to him I wouldnt answer andything. So he had the nerve to

tell me to write a detailed summary of the last 10 years. AGain I told him id

answer any questions he had, and he continued to ask things that were unrelated

to our son , eventually getting annoied with me repeting myself he stopped IMing

me. So I guess the wait begins and I will see what he wants to do when hes back

from Iraq. Is it bad to hope he

gets hurt and comes home with amnesia and remembers everything after he stopped

seeing our son but doesnt remember anything before( like my son or myself??)

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Sounds like my son, I asked him

what he would do (if someone tried to kidnapp him) and he said he'd karate chop

them! Anyway, to your question, that's a really tough one. With an AS kid as

well as ANY kid, that would be really tough to understand all of a sudden this

new " real " father coming into his life when he's never been around before for

him. That would throw a million emotions in the air. Because he has such a great

" father " in his life now, I personally wouldn't say anything since he's only 10.

But at the same time, I honestly don't know what the " right " thing to do is.

Maybe you can talk to a therapist (prefferably one who is familiar with AS) who

can guide you in the right direction. I'm a little late on reading posts so if

somethings been done already I'd love to hear the outcome or how things are

going now.

iamtiffiney <iamtiffiney@...> wrote: I had my son when I was 17 and his

father saw him once or twice a

month (if that)until he was about 2 and then totally dropped any and

all contact. hes now 10 and has been raised by another man whome hes

come to know and love as his father.he took upon himself to call him

dad.This is the man whos changed his diapers, held him when he was

sick,walked him to his first days of school, gone to confrences,

coached his soccer team, and all the other wonderful things fathers

do. Then yesterday out of the blue the biological father emailed me

and wants to resume contact as though nothings happened. I told him

that our son doesnt know about him and that I dont think hed

understand and he insists he will be fine . I know my son has a right

to know and I intend on telling him, when hes emotionally mature. I

found out I was adopted when I was 14 and it totally distroyed me

mentally for about a year.I know intellictually my son is advanced ,

but emotionally hes about 5 or 7. To give you an idea of his maturity

level, I asked him what he should do if someone tried to grab him

when hes outside playing(kidnap him) and he said hed body slam them

and get away. I asked what hed do if someone got him in hteir car and

he said hed pull out his light saber and fight them. Obviously my 10

yr old is in no way capable of body slamming anyone , and he doesnt

carry a light saber in his back pack. So how can he possibly be ready

to deal with finding out thatt he only father hes known isnt his

father and that his real father abandoned him.The biological father

has 2 daughters 7 and 5 I think. And hes married. He hasnt considered

contacting me about our son until his son was born 2 months ago. Now

all the sudden he wants to be daddy to our son. I dont think he will

be able to emotionally deal with the situation right now. Any

suggestions??

[Guest guest]

, Actually it might not be a bad idea to have your son's REAL

father run interference and handle all calls with your son's BIOLOGICAL

father. If it's really your son he's interested in, he'll keep up the

contact. If it's you, it will be obvious. And you can document this

for the courts as well.

Meira

>

> ,

also, maybe your boyfriend would like to be on the phone when he

calls to speak to you. (make sure he knows he's on the phone). I bet

he wouldn't want to talk too long then.

> best wishes HUGS

>

[Guest guest]

ply.

=)

Meira

>

> Yes!!! have that said right from the beginning. completely

supervised. conversation as well...I think that is called. Don't let

him ploy your child???(for information). If that is not the right

word. please correct with the right word for her.

[Guest guest]

OMG what an awsome idea! So simple and your right if he has my sons interests at

heart we will see it. He wont be back from Iraq for another 10 months or so ,he

stopped emailing and IMing me when I told him I wouldnt answer any question that

didnt directly pertain to my son. If and when he does want visitation I will

have all calles recorded .I almost hope he tries to take this to court because

though he said I have to prove he hasnt been there, he has to prove he HAS been.

Being that he cant it should be pretty obvious that his interests in our son

are limited. So as for now, I have 10 months or so to get fruther legal advice

and get everything in order so I can show the judge how happy my son is and that

now isnt the time to disrupt his life and confuse him. Thanks so much for the

advie you guys are great

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote: , Actually it

might not be a bad idea to have your son's REAL

father run interference and handle all calls with your son's BIOLOGICAL

father. If it's really your son he's interested in, he'll keep up the

contact. If it's you, it will be obvious. And you can document this

for the courts as well.

Meira

>

> ,

also, maybe your boyfriend would like to be on the phone when he

calls to speak to you. (make sure he knows he's on the phone). I bet

he wouldn't want to talk too long then.

> best wishes HUGS

>

Smiles and Sunshine,

Tiffiney

---------------------------------

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