RE: How do you know for sure?

[Guest guest]

>

> Our son has been diagnosed but I sometimes look at the lists and

> wonder if this is a correct finding. I have read that aspergers

> presents in a number of ways and that my early intervention may

have

> helped him get past some problem areas.

>

> For one he has excellent gross motor skills (my daughter is the

> complete opposite!) and he is able to make eye contact with more

> people - he actually says, " Mom I looked at them in the eyes " - I

> have never said anything specifically and wonder if he has always

> understood his inability and is trying or something like that (He

is

> 7 1/2 right now but we keep him with a peer group one year younger).

>

> He hasn't always but now is starting to play with kids. The

success

> is very dependent on the kids and what they are doing. He is

> obsessed with hockey and this is usually what he wants to do but he

> will play hide and seek and sometimes a game of cards with myself

or

> his sister.

>

> He has to win - part is that I think he is naturally competitive

but

> there seems to be this light that goes off - if he is running and

> trying to win you can see that he is really struggling with the

fact

> that someone might get there first. I have seen him try to stop

the

> child not realizing they could be hurt. I have also seen him hit a

> child who has won or get verbally angry.

>

> He seems to do well in a very structured environment but he also

> needs flexability at the same time.

>

> He will obsess about something - ie: if we are going on a trip he

> has a hard time just waiting he has to talk about it non stop =

> asking questions about what we are doing, seeing, what the room

will

> be like etc... I am sure this is getting ready mentally but it

> seems more than just that - but I am not sure.

>

> HE doesn't understand authority well - he knows that adults are

> usually authority figures but he often puts himself on the same

> level as them (or me) saying he doesn't have to do this or that and

> not in the typical kid sort of way - very matter-of-fact like.

>

> He shows some signs of empathy but lately I am not sure

completely.

> Recently I have watched him hit his sister - she was upset and he

> just sat there - didn't care. When I brought it to his attention

he

> apologized but you could tell he was detached from the feeling

> part. The other day I saw him on a swing with another child and

his

> swing hit the child. The child started to cry and ran to his

> mother - he just kept on swinging and didn't respond until I told

> him to go and see if the boy was ok.

>

> We use social stories and I did after these two instances but I

> think the stories fell on deaf ears.

>

> I am sure I sound like I am all over the place but I am concerned

> for my son and what he is feeling and how he relates to the kids

> around him. It won't be long before the kids see his

as " different "

> and if he keeps acting this way I am sure some will make it

> difficult for him.

>

> Does my son sound aspergerish? Or does it sounds like something

> else?

>

> Helen

>

Sound like Asperger's to me. AS I mentioned my first post both my

father anf f-i-l have AS. They don't seem to notice the things that

happen to other people. I'm pretty sure after all my research for

Seth that I myself have AS and if it makes you feel I don't think

it's so much that he doesn't care if he hurts someone it's just that

he probably lives in a little box in his mind and it's very hard to

see out of it. I have a lot of trouble most of the time realizing

that the rest of the world exists. Not a psych. but hope it helps.

Amber

[Guest guest]

Wow - our sons (mine turned 8 in April) have so much in common.

> For one he has excellent gross motor skills

Our son as well - he is not the best at stuff, but he can blend in

with other kids.

>he is able to make eye contact with more

> people - he actually says, " Mom I looked at them in the eyes " - I

Our son is doing much better in regards to this - I only find a

deficit if he is close in proximity.

> He hasn't always but now is starting to play with kids. The

success

> is very dependent on the kids and what they are doing. He is

> obsessed with hockey and this is usually what he wants to do but

he

> will play hide and seek and sometimes a game of cards with myself

or

> his sister.

Our son is obsessed with baseball but will play paper airplanes and

hide and seek with others. He will also play Poker.

> He has to win - part is that I think he is naturally competitive

> but there seems to be this light that goes off

Our son is competitive as well - and will hurt others both

intentionally and unintentionally in his pursuit of this. He will

yell and cry if he gets struck out in baseball.

> He seems to do well in a very structured environment but he also

> needs flexability at the same time.

Our son does well in school with it being structured but with verbal

warnings handles changes very well.

> He will obsess about something - ie: if we are going on a trip he

> has a hard time just waiting he has to talk about it non stop =

> asking questions about what we are doing, seeing, what the room

will

> be like etc... I am sure this is getting ready mentally but it

> seems more than just that - but I am not sure.

Our son does this as well. He also plans his birthday months and

months in advance and will bother me to send invitations.

> HE doesn't understand authority well - he knows that adults are

> usually authority figures but he often puts himself on the same

> level as them (or me) saying he doesn't have to do this or that

> and not in the typical kid sort of way - very matter-of-fact like.

Here is a difference - our son recognizes authority and has just

recently started to growl (literally) at our decisions, but it is

very kid like.

> He shows some signs of empathy but lately I am not sure

completely.

Sometimes we see it, but it is never consistent and rarely when I

would like to see it. The kinds of events you listed are ones we

see all the time.

> We use social stories and I did after these two instances but I

> think the stories fell on deaf ears.

I think all we can do is train them what they 'should' do but it

does not make sense to them from the inside. Even when my son

remembers to say sorry on his own, it is as if he is saying somebody

else's words - there is not much there that is genuine.

> I am sure I sound like I am all over the place but I am concerned

> for my son and what he is feeling and how he relates to the kids

> around him. It won't be long before the kids see his

as " different "

> and if he keeps acting this way I am sure some will make it

> difficult for him.

Our son appears so different from other kids at this point that he

does not have friends.

> Does my son sound aspergerish? Or does it sounds like something

> else?

Our son was diagnosed as HFA. We also have a secondary OCD

diagnosis, and I am pretty sure when we see the psychiatrist in the

fall we will get an anxiety label as well. We are hoping that drugs

will help him relax more because he gets SO uptight that things have

to be his way and that he has to win that this loses friends for him.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/25/2006 10:17:06 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

helenwilliams@... writes:

Does my son sound aspergerish? Or does it sounds like something

else?

Helen, your son sounds alot like my 15 year old son who is diagnosed with

Asperger's. At age 4 he clearly presented as Asperger's. As he has gotten

older and had subsequent evaluations, doctor's see the symptoms of Asperger's

but he does not clearly present with the diagnosis. He still carries the

diagnosis, because I will not change it at this point and time. He has adapted

well to his environment, talks well with people and has done well socially. He

does still have very narrow thinking, is rigid (lacks flexibility) and lacks

empathy towards others. Just an example, at 15 (9th grade) he is " finished "

with learning. You cannot convince him otherwise. He hates that he has to

confirm to school life and cannot just play music, teach himself different

instruments and write music all day long. It has made it a challenge in

advocating for him in the school system, because he does present like a " normal

kid " when he is not and at times can be much more complicated. Pam

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for answering this one everyone... I'm new to this

group and have a three year old who is going through the motions of

being tested for AS. Right now he is " officially " diagnosed as:

expressive and receptive language delay, social skills delay and

poor muscle tone/reflex... sounds Autistic just to read it outloud

to myself.

You know I worked with Autistic children for years and never

dreamed that one day I 'd be using all that I learned on my own son.

I knew that there was something wrong ( he has self injurious

behaviors and would hold eye contact) but couldn't pin point it,

when the IEP team suggested Autisim spectrum disorder I was

floored... My response was why didn't I see this earlier?... Now as

time goes on I watch him do stuff and think " there is nothing wrong

with him I 'm just over reacting because of all of the AS kids I

worked with and now I see it every where " ....Then I think on

different days.... such as this morning as he laughs hysterically,

acting as if he is in his own world, running through the house on

his tiptoes touching the walls and opening and closing kitchen

cabinets refusing to make eye contact... doing stuff that makes no

sense to me..... " YUP thats Autism.... " Our kids can act so " normal "

sometimes I think that this is why AS is so hard to dignoise, But if

we are proactive, we as parents can learn to and encourage our AS

kids to continue the positive behavior and lessen the negative

behavior to make them more excepted in society so that they too can

lead a " normal " and productive life (by society standards) and so

that we don't have to give up on the dreams we had for our kids but

just alter them slightly for they can still achieve greatness it

just is a different and harder road then we may have wished for

them....

Wow what a long first post...

HI everyone my name is Theresa and my 3and a half year old is

Autistic ...it really is like an AA meeting to slowly relize that

your child needs help... and you know what? It sucks at first but

it gets better because our kids are more than just labels they are

our kids... and we love them no matter what

>

> Wow - our sons (mine turned 8 in April) have so much in common.

>

> > For one he has excellent gross motor skills

> Our son as well - he is not the best at stuff, but he can blend in

> with other kids.

>

> >he is able to make eye contact with more

> > people - he actually says, " Mom I looked at them in the eyes " -

I

> Our son is doing much better in regards to this - I only find a

> deficit if he is close in proximity.

>

> > He hasn't always but now is starting to play with kids. The

> success

> > is very dependent on the kids and what they are doing. He is

> > obsessed with hockey and this is usually what he wants to do but

> he

> > will play hide and seek and sometimes a game of cards with

myself

> or

> > his sister.

>

> Our son is obsessed with baseball but will play paper airplanes

and

> hide and seek with others. He will also play Poker.

>

>

> > He has to win - part is that I think he is naturally competitive

> > but there seems to be this light that goes off

> Our son is competitive as well - and will hurt others both

> intentionally and unintentionally in his pursuit of this. He will

> yell and cry if he gets struck out in baseball.

>

> > He seems to do well in a very structured environment but he also

> > needs flexability at the same time.

> Our son does well in school with it being structured but with

verbal

> warnings handles changes very well.

>

>

> > He will obsess about something - ie: if we are going on a trip

he

> > has a hard time just waiting he has to talk about it non stop =

> > asking questions about what we are doing, seeing, what the room

> will

> > be like etc... I am sure this is getting ready mentally but it

> > seems more than just that - but I am not sure.

> Our son does this as well. He also plans his birthday months and

> months in advance and will bother me to send invitations.

>

> > HE doesn't understand authority well - he knows that adults are

> > usually authority figures but he often puts himself on the same

> > level as them (or me) saying he doesn't have to do this or that

> > and not in the typical kid sort of way - very matter-of-fact

like.

> Here is a difference - our son recognizes authority and has just

> recently started to growl (literally) at our decisions, but it is

> very kid like.

>

>

> > He shows some signs of empathy but lately I am not sure

> completely.

> Sometimes we see it, but it is never consistent and rarely when I

> would like to see it. The kinds of events you listed are ones we

> see all the time.

>

>

> > We use social stories and I did after these two instances but I

> > think the stories fell on deaf ears.

> I think all we can do is train them what they 'should' do but it

> does not make sense to them from the inside. Even when my son

> remembers to say sorry on his own, it is as if he is saying

somebody

> else's words - there is not much there that is genuine.

>

>

> > I am sure I sound like I am all over the place but I am

concerned

> > for my son and what he is feeling and how he relates to the kids

> > around him. It won't be long before the kids see his

> as " different "

> > and if he keeps acting this way I am sure some will make it

> > difficult for him.

> Our son appears so different from other kids at this point that he

> does not have friends.

>

> > Does my son sound aspergerish? Or does it sounds like something

> > else?

> Our son was diagnosed as HFA. We also have a secondary OCD

> diagnosis, and I am pretty sure when we see the psychiatrist in

the

> fall we will get an anxiety label as well. We are hoping that

drugs

> will help him relax more because he gets SO uptight that things

have

> to be his way and that he has to win that this loses friends for

him.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I have found myself often wondering the same thing.... How do you know

for sure??? My son exibits much of the same symptoms as your son, and

like your son my son is also seven. i find myself wondering at times

like today when he stands in front of a crowd of people and sings most

of the words to the bible school songs who he is. He goes from a kid who

says literally three words to me in some days and can not tell me what

he had for supper to a little boy who fits in perfect. Somedays it is

really confusing. Then there are the times when my neices are over and

he hits them and does not think that he needs to apologize because they

knocked over his pile of toys or whatever the case may be. He suffers

from lack of organization, and can never and I mean never find his

shoes. We are late to everything because of the kid, however he can fin

the smalest peice that goes to a star wars man. My son had early

intervention prior to diognosis and received a lot of therapy prior to

diognosis. He does really well with a lot of things now such as dressing

needs and things of that nature. He was taken out of gross motor

therapies, however continues to get speech and OT. I exspect his speech

to be canceled this next school year. He still has trouble with

handwriting and other fine motor tasks. My son is also doing better with

eye contact, although it continues to be on his IEP. He is very outgoing

and likes other kids, but he does not know the propper ways to play and

interact with them so he often plays alone. It helps that his brother is

14 months older and is like his teacher and protector. My son always has

to win or he throws a fit when we play any type of game, however he

could care less when it comes to sports. He is playing baseball and they

have yet to win one game and I have never heard a word about it. My

sonhas always played with younger kids and younger toys. Some of his

favorite toys are baby toys and sticks and stones. My so often gets

angry and yells at other kids that they are not playing " right " or doing

something the way that he would. Another big thing with my son is

messing in things. He likes hairspray, purfume, makeup (He paints the

walls and sink with it) and a lot of other things that he can make a

mess with. I can not leave him in a bathroom for more than two minutes

or he is flushing and flushing and running the toilet over. Once he ran

the sink over at the bowling alley and got all the bowling bags wet....

I was sooooo embarassed. We have days when he seems just like my older

son and then days when he is way off. i don't know what to think most

days. We are having more tests done to determine if the DX is correct

for my son.... I hope you find out what you are looking for. I wish I

could know for sure.... Not that it would make anything I already do any

different.

Janie

>

> Our son has been diagnosed but I sometimes look at the lists and

> wonder if this is a correct finding. I have read that aspergers

> presents in a number of ways and that my early intervention may have

> helped him get past some problem areas.

>

> For one he has excellent gross motor skills (my daughter is the

> complete opposite!) and he is able to make eye contact with more

> people - he actually says, " Mom I looked at them in the eyes " - I

> have never said anything specifically and wonder if he has always

> understood his inability and is trying or something like that (He is

> 7 1/2 right now but we keep him with a peer group one year younger).

>

> He hasn't always but now is starting to play with kids. The success

> is very dependent on the kids and what they are doing. He is

> obsessed with hockey and this is usually what he wants to do but he

> will play hide and seek and sometimes a game of cards with myself or

> his sister.

>

> He has to win - part is that I think he is naturally competitive but

> there seems to be this light that goes off - if he is running and

> trying to win you can see that he is really struggling with the fact

> that someone might get there first. I have seen him try to stop the

> child not realizing they could be hurt. I have also seen him hit a

> child who has won or get verbally angry.

>

> He seems to do well in a very structured environment but he also

> needs flexability at the same time.

>

> He will obsess about something - ie: if we are going on a trip he

> has a hard time just waiting he has to talk about it non stop =

> asking questions about what we are doing, seeing, what the room will

> be like etc... I am sure this is getting ready mentally but it

> seems more than just that - but I am not sure.

>

> HE doesn't understand authority well - he knows that adults are

> usually authority figures but he often puts himself on the same

> level as them (or me) saying he doesn't have to do this or that and

> not in the typical kid sort of way - very matter-of-fact like.

>

> He shows some signs of empathy but lately I am not sure completely.

> Recently I have watched him hit his sister - she was upset and he

> just sat there - didn't care. When I brought it to his attention he

> apologized but you could tell he was detached from the feeling

> part. The other day I saw him on a swing with another child and his

> swing hit the child. The child started to cry and ran to his

> mother - he just kept on swinging and didn't respond until I told

> him to go and see if the boy was ok.

>

> We use social stories and I did after these two instances but I

> think the stories fell on deaf ears.

>

> I am sure I sound like I am all over the place but I am concerned

> for my son and what he is feeling and how he relates to the kids

> around him. It won't be long before the kids see his as " different "

> and if he keeps acting this way I am sure some will make it

> difficult for him.

>

> Does my son sound aspergerish? Or does it sounds like something

> else?

>

> Helen

>

[Guest guest]

Sounds AS to me.

Roxanna

Autism Happens

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of hw939698

Sent: Sunday, June 25, 2006 10:01 PM

Subject: ( ) How do you know for sure?

Our son has been diagnosed but I sometimes look at the lists and

wonder if this is a correct finding. I have read that aspergers

presents in a number of ways and that my early intervention may have

helped him get past some problem areas.

For one he has excellent gross motor skills (my daughter is the

complete opposite!) and he is able to make eye contact with more

people - he actually says, " Mom I looked at them in the eyes " - I

have never said anything specifically and wonder if he has always

understood his inability and is trying or something like that (He is

7 1/2 right now but we keep him with a peer group one year younger).

He hasn't always but now is starting to play with kids. The success

is very dependent on the kids and what they are doing. He is

obsessed with hockey and this is usually what he wants to do but he

will play hide and seek and sometimes a game of cards with myself or

his sister.

He has to win - part is that I think he is naturally competitive but

there seems to be this light that goes off - if he is running and

trying to win you can see that he is really struggling with the fact

that someone might get there first. I have seen him try to stop the

child not realizing they could be hurt. I have also seen him hit a

child who has won or get verbally angry.

He seems to do well in a very structured environment but he also

needs flexability at the same time.

He will obsess about something - ie: if we are going on a trip he

has a hard time just waiting he has to talk about it non stop =

asking questions about what we are doing, seeing, what the room will

be like etc... I am sure this is getting ready mentally but it

seems more than just that - but I am not sure.

HE doesn't understand authority well - he knows that adults are

usually authority figures but he often puts himself on the same

level as them (or me) saying he doesn't have to do this or that and

not in the typical kid sort of way - very matter-of-fact like.

He shows some signs of empathy but lately I am not sure completely.

Recently I have watched him hit his sister - she was upset and he

just sat there - didn't care. When I brought it to his attention he

apologized but you could tell he was detached from the feeling

part. The other day I saw him on a swing with another child and his

swing hit the child. The child started to cry and ran to his

mother - he just kept on swinging and didn't respond until I told

him to go and see if the boy was ok.

We use social stories and I did after these two instances but I

think the stories fell on deaf ears.

I am sure I sound like I am all over the place but I am concerned

for my son and what he is feeling and how he relates to the kids

around him. It won't be long before the kids see his as " different "

and if he keeps acting this way I am sure some will make it

difficult for him.

Does my son sound aspergerish? Or does it sounds like something

else?

Helen

[Guest guest]

Your son sounds just like my son .

is will 6 in 2 wks and does everything you said your son does.

has been dx'd by a neurologist, and 2 psychologists. All with

the same diagnosis.

ASPERGER SYNDROME!!!

Cori

mom to ph and

http://mytwoboys.s5.com

[Guest guest]

Sounds like an ASPIE TO ME:)

Worth looking into.

You are right, early intervention is great, even if it is late:)

My son is aware of the whole eye contact issue. My boys can do a great

job, when they are comfortable:)

I think you are on the right track!!!

*smiles*

B