Guest guest Posted June 28, 2006 Report Share Posted June 28, 2006 I would suggest you get him into some type of counseling. My daughter is 10, but when she was about 7, she starting talking about " invisible people. " Her Occupational Therapist thought she could use some sort of psychotherapy. She went for a few sessions, and it seemed to work. So ask your doctor about therapy. He or she probably knows a good one. Danny shannon <shannonplume@...> wrote: My 4 year old has been obsessivly talking about death, saying things such as " I am going to die " , and " I wish someone would shoot all of us so we can be dead " . I know it is normal for children his age to be curious, but I honestly believe he understands that death is permanent, and is not like the cartoons.... he tells me his brain tells him about death, and hits himself in his head saying his brain is evil... and his brain tell him that he hates mommy and daddy... I've asked him if he is angry about something, or has any questions about death that he wants to know about, and have spoke to him about the permant state that death is and he says he isn't angry, he just can't get his brain to quit thinking about it. Last nite during a conversation with him regarding how death is sad and I don't like hearing him talking about it, he flipped me off... I asked where he learned such a thing and all he would tell me is his brain told him to do it. Any suggestions Anyone???? --------------------------------- Sneak preview the all-new .com. It's not radically different. Just radically better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2006 Report Share Posted June 28, 2006 I was just talking about this same thing with my husband the other day. Our 6 year old son was in the car and asking questions about who my granma was and where was she. I told him one of his granma's was my granma and his great granma and the rest of my granparents were in heaven. I told him his sister is named after my great granma- ---long story short, after a few minutes of silence he sobbed for an hour in the back of the van about how he missed these people he had never met. He said he didn't want to go to heaven. He doesn't hit himself anymore, but I have heard the " my brain told me to " many times. It is a different kind of fixation for him. He doesn't do it every day or even every month, but heaven help us if we accidentally open a conversation that might even lead to the topic. We will regret it for weeks. > > My 4 year old has been obsessivly talking about death, saying things > such as " I am going to die " , and " I wish someone would shoot all of us > so we can be dead " . I know it is normal for children his age to be > curious, but I honestly believe he understands that death is permanent, > and is not like the cartoons.... he tells me his brain tells him about > death, and hits himself in his head saying his brain is evil... and his > brain tell him that he hates mommy and daddy... I've asked him if he is > angry about something, or has any questions about death that he wants > to know about, and have spoke to him about the permant state that death > is and he says he isn't angry, he just can't get his brain to quit > thinking about it. Last nite during a conversation with him regarding > how death is sad and I don't like hearing him talking about it, he > flipped me off... I asked where he learned such a thing and all he > would tell me is his brain told him to do it. Any suggestions Anyone???? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2006 Report Share Posted June 28, 2006 I was just talking about this same thing with my husband the other day. Our 6 year old son was in the car and asking questions about who my granma was and where was she. I told him one of his granma's was my granma and his great granma and the rest of my granparents were in heaven. I told him his sister is named after my great granma- ---long story short, after a few minutes of silence he sobbed for an hour in the back of the van about how he missed these people he had never met. He said he didn't want to go to heaven. He doesn't hit himself anymore, but I have heard the " my brain told me to " many times. It is a different kind of fixation for him. He doesn't do it every day or even every month, but heaven help us if we accidentally open a conversation that might even lead to the topic. We will regret it for weeks. > > My 4 year old has been obsessivly talking about death, saying things > such as " I am going to die " , and " I wish someone would shoot all of us > so we can be dead " . I know it is normal for children his age to be > curious, but I honestly believe he understands that death is permanent, > and is not like the cartoons.... he tells me his brain tells him about > death, and hits himself in his head saying his brain is evil... and his > brain tell him that he hates mommy and daddy... I've asked him if he is > angry about something, or has any questions about death that he wants > to know about, and have spoke to him about the permant state that death > is and he says he isn't angry, he just can't get his brain to quit > thinking about it. Last nite during a conversation with him regarding > how death is sad and I don't like hearing him talking about it, he > flipped me off... I asked where he learned such a thing and all he > would tell me is his brain told him to do it. Any suggestions Anyone???? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2006 Report Share Posted June 28, 2006 My son is 8 and he is always talking about dying. According to him, my husband will die when he is 75 because he is the oldest and have gray hair. He comes out with things like that out of the blue. It is kind of creepy to us. We try to talk to him about it but he does have an answer. Idelice shannon <shannonplume@...> wrote: My 4 year old has been obsessivly talking about death, saying things such as " I am going to die " , and " I wish someone would shoot all of us so we can be dead " . I know it is normal for children his age to be curious, but I honestly believe he understands that death is permanent, and is not like the cartoons.... he tells me his brain tells him about death, and hits himself in his head saying his brain is evil... and his brain tell him that he hates mommy and daddy... I've asked him if he is angry about something, or has any questions about death that he wants to know about, and have spoke to him about the permant state that death is and he says he isn't angry, he just can't get his brain to quit thinking about it. Last nite during a conversation with him regarding how death is sad and I don't like hearing him talking about it, he flipped me off... I asked where he learned such a thing and all he would tell me is his brain told him to do it. Any suggestions Anyone???? --------------------------------- Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs.Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2006 Report Share Posted June 28, 2006 Has he been evaluated by a child psychiatrist? That's the direction I would head with what you have stated. Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2006 Report Share Posted June 28, 2006 Hi:) Just to be safe, I would, in my opinion, get someone to evaluate him right away. Mainly to rule out any disorder that could be causing him to think these things. If it is just something he is picking up (at school, or whatever) it should be figured out, but have details of what he does, what your concerns are, and hopefully you can get someone near you that will really look into him and h elp find out what is going on. It is better, I think, to play it safe then to end up sorry. I really hope that helps. It doesnt mean he is bad or anything, but someone n eeds to listen to him and perhaps help him out. The next thing is to look at what he is hearing, watching, and playing (?Video games, etc) see if he could be picking up things from that, as well/ But definitely get some evaluation done. Not for meds, but just to see what is up and why he is saying his brain says things. Keep us in formed We all need to learn something about this!! B > > My 4 year old has been obsessivly talking about death, saying things > such as " I am going to die " , and " I wish someone would shoot all of us > so we can be dead " . I know it is normal for children his age to be > curious, but I honestly believe he understands that death is permanent, > and is not like the cartoons.... he tells me his brain tells him about > death, and hits himself in his head saying his brain is evil... and his > brain tell him that he hates mommy and daddy... I've asked him if he is > angry about something, or has any questions about death that he wants > to know about, and have spoke to him about the permant state that death > is and he says he isn't angry, he just can't get his brain to quit > thinking about it. Last nite during a conversation with him regarding > how death is sad and I don't like hearing him talking about it, he > flipped me off... I asked where he learned such a thing and all he > would tell me is his brain told him to do it. Any suggestions Anyone???? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2006 Report Share Posted June 28, 2006 My 6 1/2 yo son has been very aware of what death means for quite a while. He must have been four when he started saying that he did not want me to die... because I was 'very' old... and mama and him were very young!!!! I thought it was mostly his way of saying that he wanted mama just for himself, but he still wanted me around in some way. Quite normal for his age, but I could have given it a more severe interpretation. I believe it is mostly a developmental stage they go through when they become aware that people and things die, and that they could be left alone. My son actually picked it up from the Lion King. Also, with all the military parafernalia so present everywhere and on every media outlet, they are very aware that people are dying in Iraq, Afganistan, Israel, etc... and if the reporters can talk all day about people getting killed, they may assume it's just normal. As most AS children, of course, the word 'mild' is not in their dictionary, so just as everything else they get intensively into this. He's too young to really mean any real harm when he says he wants people killed. They have the concept but as many more things in their lives with AS, they do not necessarily connect it to real life. Quite frankly, and this is my informed opinion, if you can deal with the creapiness of it, just help him understand that many people do not like to talk about death... just what you are doing. You may want to use this obsession to teach him about the cycle of life for all living things. If you decide to take your son to a therapist be careful. The way you described the situation in your message may easily give a therapist reasons to label your son with some type of schizoid problem, and then they will get him into real trouble with the label and all the medicines that come with it. Some therapists use buzz words to reach a diagnosis based simply on what a textbook or the DSM IV says, as if it were a mathematical process. That's a big mistake, and you might want to be careful when chosing the therapist if you decide to consult one. If you give it some time, and work with him around the issue, it may go away. My son mentions it from time to time, and sometimes very inapropriately, like telling mom that he would like all her patients to die so that she can spend more time with him at home. Not a great thought, but that was his Aspie way of telling mama that he wants her to spend more time with him at home. Have a great day. F Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2006 Report Share Posted June 29, 2006 too. He is obsessed with how people die and what it is like in heaven. My mom died when he was 2 1/2. He is now almost 6 and he still asks questions on how she died and what it is like in heaven. Why doesn't she talk to us. He wishes he can see heaven. At one point he even had a imaginary friend " Robot friend " who lived in heaven and took care of my mom but he wasn't nice and eventually he died. We look at pictures of my mom and he wants to see how she died. Strange!! Then he talks about that when I die, he is going to die too. And when he goes to heaven he will see everyone he knew. I can't imagine at 6 yrs. old (and younger) to even know this stuff. When he starts talking about it, I will answer just a few questions and then I tell him we really don't want to talk about this stuff. Because sometimes when you wish for things they happen, so always be careful what you wish for. I want him here for a long, long, long time. And then he stops talking about it until the next day. Cori 's Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2006 Report Share Posted June 29, 2006 Life, death and the whole existence concepts are so difficult for any child to understand. At age 8, my son wanted to know where he was when I was 10. Why caused him to ask this question I have no idea. When I told him he was't born yet he got very agitated. He couldn't graps the concept that he just wasn't. So I told him he was in Heaven with God and when I was old enough God said " She will be a great mother for Tommy " and then God put him in my tummy. He was fine with this. About a year later we were looking through some old pictures and saw a picture of my grandma. He wanted to know who she was and why he hasn't seen her. I told him he was my grandma and she was in heaven. He wanted to know if she ever met him. When I told him she passed away a year before he was born he started to cry because she didn't know about him. I told him that she knew about him and loved him because she was watching from heaven. This calmed him down some. But wouldn't you know it, he asked why she couldn't come back down to earth. If he was in Heaven before he was born and come down to earth why couldn't my grandma? I told him people were only alowed to come to earth once. I think I'm raising a philosopher This past year in school (he's now 11) he got everyon concerned then. He was suppose to write five sentences using given words. I can't remember all of them but school, I, then. His sentences were: I hate school. I am going to die. If I'm dead then I'm dead. Everyone hates school this was ok. I asked him about the other sentences. It's true, everyone dies. - True. The last sentence he heard someone say from a TV show. I told him everyone at school was worried because they thought he wanted to hurt himself. His answer " Why would I want to do that " so matter of factly. I asked him to pleas not use the words die or dead in anymore school work. He said " ok " and that was it. > > > > My 4 year old has been obsessivly talking about death, saying > things > > such as " I am going to die " , and " I wish someone would shoot all > of us > > so we can be dead " . I know it is normal for children his age to be > > curious, but I honestly believe he understands that death is > permanent, > > and is not like the cartoons.... he tells me his brain tells him > about > > death, and hits himself in his head saying his brain is evil... > and his > > brain tell him that he hates mommy and daddy... I've asked him if > he is > > angry about something, or has any questions about death that he > wants > > to know about, and have spoke to him about the permant state that > death > > is and he says he isn't angry, he just can't get his brain to quit > > thinking about it. Last nite during a conversation with him > regarding > > how death is sad and I don't like hearing him talking about it, he > > flipped me off... I asked where he learned such a thing and all he > > would tell me is his brain told him to do it. Any suggestions > Anyone???? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2006 Report Share Posted June 29, 2006 We had a similiar experience with my son about 1 1/2 yrs ago, he was asking about my husbands grandparents, and my husband told him that they were in heaven, my husband even took my son to the cemetary, which is how I am afraid he started this obession... He has always hit his head or bit himself when he gets into his aggresive, disobedient " stage " ... When he has a lot of structure around him, this " bad " side of him is greatly lessened.. but since it is summer vacation, he does not have the comfort of a set routine, even though he still goes to the same school, they are now in their summer program which is games and fun... not " at 9 am we do this, and 10 we we do this " type of routine. He used to just curl up in a ball and sob ... out of the blue, seemingly for no reason, but when asked, he said he didn't want to die, or he didn't want mom and dad to die... and I always reassured him he nor us were going anywhere. But now he saying he IS going to die, and he wishes we all got shot and were dead... now he says this without any emotion in it. It has been becoming very creepy to me. Thank you for your response! -- In , " chaschickpea " <chaschickpea@...> wrote: > > I was just talking about this same thing with my husband the other > day. Our 6 year old son was in the car and asking questions about > who my granma was and where was she. I told him one of his granma's > was my granma and his great granma and the rest of my granparents > were in heaven. I told him his sister is named after my great granma- > ---long story short, after a few minutes of silence he sobbed for an > hour in the back of the van about how he missed these people he had > never met. He said he didn't want to go to heaven. He doesn't hit > himself anymore, but I have heard the " my brain told me to " many > times. It is a different kind of fixation for him. He doesn't do it > every day or even every month, but heaven help us if we accidentally > open a conversation that might even lead to the topic. We will > regret it for weeks. > > > > > > > My 4 year old has been obsessivly talking about death, saying > things > > such as " I am going to die " , and " I wish someone would shoot all > of us > > so we can be dead " . I know it is normal for children his age to be > > curious, but I honestly believe he understands that death is > permanent, > > and is not like the cartoons.... he tells me his brain tells him > about > > death, and hits himself in his head saying his brain is evil... > and his > > brain tell him that he hates mommy and daddy... I've asked him if > he is > > angry about something, or has any questions about death that he > wants > > to know about, and have spoke to him about the permant state that > death > > is and he says he isn't angry, he just can't get his brain to quit > > thinking about it. Last nite during a conversation with him > regarding > > how death is sad and I don't like hearing him talking about it, he > > flipped me off... I asked where he learned such a thing and all he > > would tell me is his brain told him to do it. Any suggestions > Anyone???? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2006 Report Share Posted June 29, 2006 I wold strongly encourage you to talk to your dr about this. When Hunter was talking about His baby sister dieing, and he being the one to do it, It turned out that the medication was causing these thoughts We lowered his Stateria dose, (we had raised it the week befor the incident). and weaning him off it. He is no longer having those thoughts. Good luck Leanne R. Back --------------------------------- Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs.Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2006 Report Share Posted July 7, 2006 Oh my. Is your brother ok or did he die from jumping into the combine? That is really awful. I agree that kids get depressed and statistics mean squat when it’s your kid. Roxanna ôô “If you’ve told a child a thousand times and he still does not understand, then it is not the child who is the slow learner.” Walter Barbee _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Heifner Sent: Thursday, June 29, 2006 2:01 PM Subject: Re: ( ) obsession with death? , It is possible that your 4 year old is depressed. Don't ignore it. Tell a psychiatrist. If the psychiatrist tells you that little kids don't get depressed see another psychiatrist. Whether or not they " understand " some kids act on their thoughts. My brother did(jumped into the path of a combine); and so did one of his friends (jumped off a bridge and left a suicide note) both at the tender age of 6. That is my personal experience, get help and don't take no for an answer. I had a psychiatrist tell me that kids don't get depressed and don't get suicidal. I told that psychiatrist that she was nuts! Even if it is a very small percentage. Statistics don't mean a thing if it's your kid. Girard -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 7/4/2006 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 7/4/2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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