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We have a teenage girl 14 going on 15 with AS. Not easy, good days and bad days.

I think is helping a little to make her fuly aware of what she has. She is

reading about it . I am wondering if she would share her impressions with me.

(she is the youngest at home). Good luck with your boy!

Ana

( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

Is anyone else out there dealing with a boy 14 going on 15 with AS?

My 9 yr old son is passing him up socially & things get out of hand at

times. I thought things were rough when he was younger, but having

a " normal " younger child, makes things 10 times harder on the

teenager. I can't seem to find balance between normal child rearing

and anxiety/panic child rearing. Any point of view would be

appreciated.

Thanks,

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I have a 16 yr old boy with Asperger's but he doesn't have any interest in

driving and doesn't care about sports or even driving. He even has two brothers

that are very athletic. He did spend five years on the YMCA swim team but once

he started high school the team has practice five days a week. It was too much

for him with homework and not getting enough down time. He is very competitive

and did really well in the meets but practicing just wasn't worth it.

---

[This E-mail was scanned by Citizens Internet Services.]

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My son shares too much with me. I'm his only friend. I have him currently

in an Adventure Program, Job Readiness Program & Aspergers therapy. He is

not functioning at all at school anymore because of the social anxiety. I

have a meeting tomorrow to place him in a SECEP Aspergers day treatment

program instead. I had to pull him from school 2 weeks ago because he was

jumped by 4 other boys and beat up. It's a shame because all he wants to do

is fit in. He says he doesn't fit anywhere and it breaks my heart.

Thanks for sharing

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of ACuitino@...

Sent: Monday, January 02, 2006 11:32 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

We have a teenage girl 14 going on 15 with AS. Not easy, good days and bad

days. I think is helping a little to make her fuly aware of what she has.

She is reading about it . I am wondering if she would share her impressions

with me. (she is the youngest at home). Good luck with your boy!

Ana

( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

Is anyone else out there dealing with a boy 14 going on 15 with AS?

My 9 yr old son is passing him up socially & things get out of hand at

times. I thought things were rough when he was younger, but having

a " normal " younger child, makes things 10 times harder on the

teenager. I can't seem to find balance between normal child rearing

and anxiety/panic child rearing. Any point of view would be

appreciated.

Thanks,

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Share on other sites

Try solitary sports. Most Aspergers kids don't do well on teams. My son

Rock Wall Climbs (good for coordination) and he is starting some form of

Karate for mind & body control. He has never ever survived on a team or

working in groups in school. He always has to have it his way and the kids

don't like it. He is very intelligent & bossy. I'm glad he went through

puberty, it's mellowed him out some. I could live without the mood swings

but at least he's not hurting himself anymore. We do have lots of trouble

with sibling rivalry.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Cairns

Sent: Tuesday, January 03, 2006 10:24 AM

Subject: ( ) Re: Teenage Boy with Aspergers

I have a 16 yr old boy with Asperger's but he doesn't have any interest in

driving and doesn't care about sports or even driving. He even has two

brothers that are very athletic. He did spend five years on the YMCA swim

team but once he started high school the team has practice five days a week.

It was too much for him with homework and not getting enough down time. He

is very competitive and did really well in the meets but practicing just

wasn't worth it.

---

[This E-mail was scanned by Citizens Internet Services.]

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,

That's terrible! My son had a tough time with bullies at public school,

too. Mostly just verbal stuff, but he found it hard to take. Eventually

he started to refuse to go to school. That is an outrage that such a

thing happened to your son. What was the consequence for the four boys?

Liz

On Jan 3, 2006, at 6:03 PM, A Quick wrote:

> My son shares too much with me. I'm his only friend. I have him

> currently

> in an Adventure Program, Job Readiness Program & Aspergers therapy.

> He is

> not functioning at all at school anymore because of the social

> anxiety. I

> have a meeting tomorrow to place him in a SECEP Aspergers day treatment

> program instead. I had to pull him from school 2 weeks ago because he

> was

> jumped by 4 other boys and beat up. It's a shame because all he wants

> to do

> is fit in. He says he doesn't fit anywhere and it breaks my heart.

>

>

>

> Thanks for sharing

>

>

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Hi , I have a 15 year old with AS. The middle school years were

very difficult. He is very mature and gets along very well socially with his

peers. He is not very flexible and only sees things " his way " which I'm not

sure how much is AS and how much is teenager. He generally has a tougher time

in the winter months, which has begun to rear it's ugly head around here. We

all agree (including my older son) that he needs to try medication again to

help with depression and sleep issues. I also have a younger son, who is 9,

he is also on the spectrum. I think with him I will have the problems of

noticeable delays in maturity. Pam :)

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What is Spectrum? Do you have the same problems with the age

difference? My 9 year old son is unusually very good at gauging people,

what mood they are in, if he thinks they are good or bad, however, I

feel like AJ (14 w/ AS) has taken over our lives. We all walk on egg

shells everyday, What mood is AJ going to be in today. Winter is much

worse, you are right. But at least your son has friends. Sammy (9) is a

Social Whirlwind, whereas AJ is a recluse (with a big ego & attitude).

We just ruled out Bipolar & ADHD w/ him. He is now full Asperger's

Syndrome which I have been telling them for years. He has been on the

wrong meds since he was 8 which has cause a bad pattern to set in & if

you know AS, only some things get through and others either never do or,

the light bulb finally goes on after something terrible happens.

Sorry, I'm venting. Have a great day.

Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

Hi , I have a 15 year old with AS. The middle school years

were

very difficult. He is very mature and gets along very well socially

with his

peers. He is not very flexible and only sees things " his way " which

I'm not

sure how much is AS and how much is teenager. He generally has a

tougher time

in the winter months, which has begun to rear it's ugly head around

here. We

all agree (including my older son) that he needs to try medication

again to

help with depression and sleep issues. I also have a younger son, who

is 9,

he is also on the spectrum. I think with him I will have the problems

of

noticeable delays in maturity. Pam :)

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Share on other sites

Liz,

One boy was expelled from all Virginia Beach Public Schools & the 3 others

received 3 days of OSS. We also pressed charges against the 4 boys & I'm

tempted to include the Vice Principal who allowed him to stay on the bus

after walking past AJ & hitting him. The bus driver refused to leave until

she was called to remove the child. When she saw which kid was being

assaulted (mine), she let him stay & they all 4 got off at my son's bus stop

and jumped him. They beat my baby with a stick & the neighbors all watched.

If the Navy guy driving buy hadn't pulled over to pull them off AJ, he would

have ended up in the hospital or worse. It makes me sick. We had an IEP

meeting today to get AJ back into school and feel safe there, and they told

me I was going to be summoned to a Truancy hearing and I could go to jail

for 10 days for pulling him from school. I broke a State Law & I need to be

punished. My son is not safe there and it could take months to get a new

placement. I am so angry at this system right now, I will be hiring a

lawyer tomorrow to go with me & AJ to the hearing. He is right now pacing

like a panther in his room crying about having to go back in the morning.

They are going to put him in the computer room to take on-line, at your own

pace classes, all day. We shall see. It's a good thing I'm self employed.

I have a feeling I will be taking on-line high school with him at home!!!

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Liz Bohn

Sent: Tuesday, January 03, 2006 10:11 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

,

That's terrible! My son had a tough time with bullies at public school,

too. Mostly just verbal stuff, but he found it hard to take. Eventually

he started to refuse to go to school. That is an outrage that such a

thing happened to your son. What was the consequence for the four boys?

Liz

On Jan 3, 2006, at 6:03 PM, A Quick wrote:

> My son shares too much with me. I'm his only friend. I have him

> currently

> in an Adventure Program, Job Readiness Program & Aspergers therapy.

> He is

> not functioning at all at school anymore because of the social

> anxiety. I

> have a meeting tomorrow to place him in a SECEP Aspergers day treatment

> program instead. I had to pull him from school 2 weeks ago because he

> was

> jumped by 4 other boys and beat up. It's a shame because all he wants

> to do

> is fit in. He says he doesn't fit anywhere and it breaks my heart.

>

>

>

> Thanks for sharing

>

>

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My son turns 15 tomorrow. He has an 11 year old sister who is much more

social than he is but I think I'm more bothered by the disparity than

he is! He gets annoyed at the fact that the phone rings almost

constantly for her (too much noise) but otherwise, doesn't seem to even

notice that she's got a much busier social life than he does. He's a

quiet, nice kid who gets along with others but tells me he's much

happier when he's doing his own thing - he likes the 2 or 3 friends he

has but on the whole, doesn't like to entertain them for long periods

of time or talk on the phone with them. He seems satisfied to see them

at school during lunch and to visit with them here or at their houses

now and then but that's about the extent of it. I try to remind myself

that as long as he's happy, I shouldn't worry so much -- it's hard not

to worry about him, though!

I'm finding that the difficulties we went through when he was younger

have eased a bit in some ways but they've been replaced by other

difficulties now that he's older. I don't think, in our case, that

having an NT sibling makes it harder on him though - at least not yet,

anyway. (It may be different for us because we have a boy/girl vs.

boy/boy and there isn't that same-sex competition/comparison that

probably happens with two boys in the house.) I think it's actually

helped him in some ways because as his sister matures and becomes more

and more interested in what most teens are interested in - music,

dances, etc..., he becomes more exposed to those things through her and

has developed at least a curiosity about them and has even said he

might like to attend a dance at some point. Not sure it will ever

happen but at least she's got him thinking about it. ;-)

>

> Is anyone else out there dealing with a boy 14 going on 15 with AS?

> My 9 yr old son is passing him up socially & things get out of hand

at

> times. I thought things were rough when he was younger, but having

> a " normal " younger child, makes things 10 times harder on the

> teenager. I can't seem to find balance between normal child rearing

> and anxiety/panic child rearing. Any point of view would be

> appreciated.

>

> Thanks,

>

>

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Share on other sites

,

Are there any good private schools for kids with special needs out your

way? Seems to me that your district owes you one. If there is such a

school, it doesn't have to take months to get him there. What we did

was to pay the initial month of private school tuition, and the

district paid us back after the placement was funded. He was fully

funded by the second month.

BUT I HATE IT THAT THE VICTIM IS THE ONE WHO GETS BLAMED!!! He should

not be the one who has to change schools here. Something is very wrong

with this picture.

A word of advice if the truancy hearing ever comes up. Get a letter

from his psychiatrist and/or psychologist saying that he has been

extremely anxious and depressed ever since this brutal attack BY THE

SCHOOL'S STUDENTS getting off THE SCHOOL'S BUS. I had such a letter on

file, and never heard a peep out of them, even though was out of

school way over ten days.

Good luck, . My heart goes out to you.

Liz

On Jan 4, 2006, at 5:57 PM, A Quick wrote:

> Liz,

>

>

>

> One boy was expelled from all Virginia Beach Public Schools & the 3

> others

> received 3 days of OSS. We also pressed charges against the 4 boys &

> I'm

> tempted to include the Vice Principal who allowed him to stay on the

> bus

> after walking past AJ & hitting him. The bus driver refused to leave

> until

> she was called to remove the child. When she saw which kid was being

> assaulted (mine), she let him stay & they all 4 got off at my son's

> bus stop

> and jumped him. They beat my baby with a stick & the neighbors all

> watched.

> If the Navy guy driving buy hadn't pulled over to pull them off AJ, he

> would

> have ended up in the hospital or worse. It makes me sick. We had an

> IEP

> meeting today to get AJ back into school and feel safe there, and they

> told

> me I was going to be summoned to a Truancy hearing and I could go to

> jail

> for 10 days for pulling him from school. I broke a State Law & I need

> to be

> punished. My son is not safe there and it could take months to get a

> new

> placement. I am so angry at this system right now, I will be hiring a

> lawyer tomorrow to go with me & AJ to the hearing. He is right now

> pacing

> like a panther in his room crying about having to go back in the

> morning.

> They are going to put him in the computer room to take on-line, at

> your own

> pace classes, all day. We shall see. It's a good thing I'm self

> employed.

> I have a feeling I will be taking on-line high school with him at

> home!!!

>

>

>

>

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In a message dated 1/4/2006 9:48:34 PM Eastern Standard Time,

michellepbj@... writes:

I am so angry at this system right now, I will be hiring a

lawyer tomorrow to go with me & AJ to the hearing.

, I'm assuming you are in Virginia? You need to contact these

people ASAP.

PROTECTION AND ADVOCACY AGENCY

Reen, Director

Department for Rights of Virginians with Disabilities

Ninth St. Office Building, 9th Floor

202 North 9th Street

Richmond, VA 23219

(804) 225-2042 (Voice/TTY); (800) 552-3962 (In VA)

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Liz,

Thank you. I will try the letter for Truancy. I already gave them a 5 page

letter explaining in detail the Asperger's diagnosis and referral to a day

treatment center. This has been an ongoing problem since 3rd grade.

Because of his high IQ, I didn't even get an IEP until last October (2004).

They said he causes trouble on purpose and he is lazy. IGNORANCE!!! I have

been fighting for residential since his melt down last January with the

onset of puberty and have been shot down 3 times. FAPT is the funding. We

have one more chance on the 17th. The facility is 1 mile from my house and

it looks like a private Bording School. I toured it last year when we had

9 months of in home services. Every person on AJ's team cant believe they

wont fund it. My 9 year old said he wants to move in with his Dad, who he

cant stand, because he cant live with AJ anymore. I will find a way to make

this work. I WILL NOT CHOOSE BETWEEN MY KIDS.

Thank you for your support. I don't mean to be negative, I'm just scared to

death for him.

Have a great Day!!

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Liz Bohn

Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2006 11:32 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

,

Are there any good private schools for kids with special needs out your

way? Seems to me that your district owes you one. If there is such a

school, it doesn't have to take months to get him there. What we did

was to pay the initial month of private school tuition, and the

district paid us back after the placement was funded. He was fully

funded by the second month.

BUT I HATE IT THAT THE VICTIM IS THE ONE WHO GETS BLAMED!!! He should

not be the one who has to change schools here. Something is very wrong

with this picture.

A word of advice if the truancy hearing ever comes up. Get a letter

from his psychiatrist and/or psychologist saying that he has been

extremely anxious and depressed ever since this brutal attack BY THE

SCHOOL'S STUDENTS getting off THE SCHOOL'S BUS. I had such a letter on

file, and never heard a peep out of them, even though was out of

school way over ten days.

Good luck, . My heart goes out to you.

Liz

On Jan 4, 2006, at 5:57 PM, A Quick wrote:

> Liz,

>

>

>

> One boy was expelled from all Virginia Beach Public Schools & the 3

> others

> received 3 days of OSS. We also pressed charges against the 4 boys &

> I'm

> tempted to include the Vice Principal who allowed him to stay on the

> bus

> after walking past AJ & hitting him. The bus driver refused to leave

> until

> she was called to remove the child. When she saw which kid was being

> assaulted (mine), she let him stay & they all 4 got off at my son's

> bus stop

> and jumped him. They beat my baby with a stick & the neighbors all

> watched.

> If the Navy guy driving buy hadn't pulled over to pull them off AJ, he

> would

> have ended up in the hospital or worse. It makes me sick. We had an

> IEP

> meeting today to get AJ back into school and feel safe there, and they

> told

> me I was going to be summoned to a Truancy hearing and I could go to

> jail

> for 10 days for pulling him from school. I broke a State Law & I need

> to be

> punished. My son is not safe there and it could take months to get a

> new

> placement. I am so angry at this system right now, I will be hiring a

> lawyer tomorrow to go with me & AJ to the hearing. He is right now

> pacing

> like a panther in his room crying about having to go back in the

> morning.

> They are going to put him in the computer room to take on-line, at

> your own

> pace classes, all day. We shall see. It's a good thing I'm self

> employed.

> I have a feeling I will be taking on-line high school with him at

> home!!!

>

>

>

>

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Hi ,

What do you mean by you have one more chance? Then what happens? I hope

" then what happens " is that you file due process. Funding trouble is

not an excuse for denying services to a child in need.

Get yourself a good lawyer and stand firm. And know that we are here

for you, too.

Liz

On Jan 5, 2006, at 3:52 AM, A Quick wrote:

> Liz,

>

>

>

> Thank you. I will try the letter for Truancy. I already gave them a

> 5 page

> letter explaining in detail the Asperger's diagnosis and referral to a

> day

> treatment center. This has been an ongoing problem since 3rd grade.

> Because of his high IQ, I didn't even get an IEP until last October

> (2004).

> They said he causes trouble on purpose and he is lazy. IGNORANCE!!!

> I have

> been fighting for residential since his melt down last January with the

> onset of puberty and have been shot down 3 times. FAPT is the

> funding. We

> have one more chance on the 17th. The facility is 1 mile from my

> house and

> it looks like a private Bording School. I toured it last year when

> we had

> 9 months of in home services. Every person on AJ's team cant believe

> they

> wont fund it. My 9 year old said he wants to move in with his Dad,

> who he

> cant stand, because he cant live with AJ anymore. I will find a way

> to make

> this work. I WILL NOT CHOOSE BETWEEN MY KIDS.

>

>

>

> Thank you for your support. I don't mean to be negative, I'm just

> scared to

> death for him.

>

>

>

> Have a great Day!!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Liz Bohn

> Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2006 11:32 PM

>

> Subject: Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

>

>

>

> ,

>

> Are there any good private schools for kids with special needs out your

> way? Seems to me that your district owes you one. If there is such a

> school, it doesn't have to take months to get him there. What we did

> was to pay the initial month of private school tuition, and the

> district paid us back after the placement was funded. He was fully

> funded by the second month.

>

> BUT I HATE IT THAT THE VICTIM IS THE ONE WHO GETS BLAMED!!! He should

> not be the one who has to change schools here. Something is very wrong

> with this picture.

>

> A word of advice if the truancy hearing ever comes up. Get a letter

> from his psychiatrist and/or psychologist saying that he has been

> extremely anxious and depressed ever since this brutal attack BY THE

> SCHOOL'S STUDENTS getting off THE SCHOOL'S BUS. I had such a letter on

> file, and never heard a peep out of them, even though was out of

> school way over ten days.

>

> Good luck, . My heart goes out to you.

>

> Liz

>

> On Jan 4, 2006, at 5:57 PM, A Quick wrote:

>

>> Liz,

>>

>>

>>

>> One boy was expelled from all Virginia Beach Public Schools & the 3

>> others

>> received 3 days of OSS. We also pressed charges against the 4 boys &

>> I'm

>> tempted to include the Vice Principal who allowed him to stay on the

>> bus

>> after walking past AJ & hitting him. The bus driver refused to leave

>> until

>> she was called to remove the child. When she saw which kid was being

>> assaulted (mine), she let him stay & they all 4 got off at my son's

>> bus stop

>> and jumped him. They beat my baby with a stick & the neighbors all

>> watched.

>> If the Navy guy driving buy hadn't pulled over to pull them off AJ, he

>> would

>> have ended up in the hospital or worse. It makes me sick. We had an

>> IEP

>> meeting today to get AJ back into school and feel safe there, and they

>> told

>> me I was going to be summoned to a Truancy hearing and I could go to

>> jail

>> for 10 days for pulling him from school. I broke a State Law & I need

>> to be

>> punished. My son is not safe there and it could take months to get a

>> new

>> placement. I am so angry at this system right now, I will be hiring a

>> lawyer tomorrow to go with me & AJ to the hearing. He is right now

>> pacing

>> like a panther in his room crying about having to go back in the

>> morning.

>> They are going to put him in the computer room to take on-line, at

>> your own

>> pace classes, all day. We shall see. It's a good thing I'm self

>> employed.

>> I have a feeling I will be taking on-line high school with him at

>> home!!!

>>

>>

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

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Liz,

I was informed today that the State has done all they can. They will put AJ

in a day treatment program in a local HS & that's it. " Then what happens "

means we have done all we can & now we can sleep at night and move on to the

next ED child. They want to close his case on the 17th. I have an appt. w/

an attorney next week. I don't know what else to do. I asked them to treat

this like a student loan & I would pay it off for as long as it takes, but

they still look at me like I have my hand out. It makes me sick. But, on

the up-side, I'm as stubborn as a mule & very well known in my community & I

wont give up until AJ gets what he needs. I have his entire school career

in a binder in chronological order from kindergarten - today. Every letter,

504 plan, denial for an IEP, suspension, everything. (AJ hates that

binder!) I can't help it, organizing paperwork is what I do. I have a good

case. I also have every psyc. Testing done on him. The first being in

1999, the last 3 months ago.

I appreciate your support. I hope all is well for you. Thanks for letting

an exhausted Mother vent. And I will stand firm.

Take care,

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Liz Bohn

Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2006 9:28 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

Hi ,

What do you mean by you have one more chance? Then what happens? I hope

" then what happens " is that you file due process. Funding trouble is

not an excuse for denying services to a child in need.

Get yourself a good lawyer and stand firm. And know that we are here

for you, too.

Liz

On Jan 5, 2006, at 3:52 AM, A Quick wrote:

> Liz,

>

>

>

> Thank you. I will try the letter for Truancy. I already gave them a

> 5 page

> letter explaining in detail the Asperger's diagnosis and referral to a

> day

> treatment center. This has been an ongoing problem since 3rd grade.

> Because of his high IQ, I didn't even get an IEP until last October

> (2004).

> They said he causes trouble on purpose and he is lazy. IGNORANCE!!!

> I have

> been fighting for residential since his melt down last January with the

> onset of puberty and have been shot down 3 times. FAPT is the

> funding. We

> have one more chance on the 17th. The facility is 1 mile from my

> house and

> it looks like a private Bording School. I toured it last year when

> we had

> 9 months of in home services. Every person on AJ's team cant believe

> they

> wont fund it. My 9 year old said he wants to move in with his Dad,

> who he

> cant stand, because he cant live with AJ anymore. I will find a way

> to make

> this work. I WILL NOT CHOOSE BETWEEN MY KIDS.

>

>

>

> Thank you for your support. I don't mean to be negative, I'm just

> scared to

> death for him.

>

>

>

> Have a great Day!!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Liz Bohn

> Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2006 11:32 PM

>

> Subject: Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

>

>

>

> ,

>

> Are there any good private schools for kids with special needs out your

> way? Seems to me that your district owes you one. If there is such a

> school, it doesn't have to take months to get him there. What we did

> was to pay the initial month of private school tuition, and the

> district paid us back after the placement was funded. He was fully

> funded by the second month.

>

> BUT I HATE IT THAT THE VICTIM IS THE ONE WHO GETS BLAMED!!! He should

> not be the one who has to change schools here. Something is very wrong

> with this picture.

>

> A word of advice if the truancy hearing ever comes up. Get a letter

> from his psychiatrist and/or psychologist saying that he has been

> extremely anxious and depressed ever since this brutal attack BY THE

> SCHOOL'S STUDENTS getting off THE SCHOOL'S BUS. I had such a letter on

> file, and never heard a peep out of them, even though was out of

> school way over ten days.

>

> Good luck, . My heart goes out to you.

>

> Liz

>

> On Jan 4, 2006, at 5:57 PM, A Quick wrote:

>

>> Liz,

>>

>>

>>

>> One boy was expelled from all Virginia Beach Public Schools & the 3

>> others

>> received 3 days of OSS. We also pressed charges against the 4 boys &

>> I'm

>> tempted to include the Vice Principal who allowed him to stay on the

>> bus

>> after walking past AJ & hitting him. The bus driver refused to leave

>> until

>> she was called to remove the child. When she saw which kid was being

>> assaulted (mine), she let him stay & they all 4 got off at my son's

>> bus stop

>> and jumped him. They beat my baby with a stick & the neighbors all

>> watched.

>> If the Navy guy driving buy hadn't pulled over to pull them off AJ, he

>> would

>> have ended up in the hospital or worse. It makes me sick. We had an

>> IEP

>> meeting today to get AJ back into school and feel safe there, and they

>> told

>> me I was going to be summoned to a Truancy hearing and I could go to

>> jail

>> for 10 days for pulling him from school. I broke a State Law & I need

>> to be

>> punished. My son is not safe there and it could take months to get a

>> new

>> placement. I am so angry at this system right now, I will be hiring a

>> lawyer tomorrow to go with me & AJ to the hearing. He is right now

>> pacing

>> like a panther in his room crying about having to go back in the

>> morning.

>> They are going to put him in the computer room to take on-line, at

>> your own

>> pace classes, all day. We shall see. It's a good thing I'm self

>> employed.

>> I have a feeling I will be taking on-line high school with him at

>> home!!!

>>

>>

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear ,

I wish you, your son, the best. I pray everything all works out for you and

your son. big hug to you both!

A Quick <michellepbj@...> wrote:

Liz,

I was informed today that the State has done all they can. They will put AJ

in a day treatment program in a local HS & that's it. " Then what happens "

means we have done all we can & now we can sleep at night and move on to the

next ED child. They want to close his case on the 17th. I have an appt. w/

an attorney next week. I don't know what else to do. I asked them to treat

this like a student loan & I would pay it off for as long as it takes, but

they still look at me like I have my hand out. It makes me sick. But, on

the up-side, I'm as stubborn as a mule & very well known in my community & I

wont give up until AJ gets what he needs. I have his entire school career

in a binder in chronological order from kindergarten - today. Every letter,

504 plan, denial for an IEP, suspension, everything. (AJ hates that

binder!) I can't help it, organizing paperwork is what I do. I have a good

case. I also have every psyc. Testing done on him. The first being in

1999, the last 3 months ago.

I appreciate your support. I hope all is well for you. Thanks for letting

an exhausted Mother vent. And I will stand firm.

Take care,

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Liz Bohn

Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2006 9:28 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

Hi ,

What do you mean by you have one more chance? Then what happens? I hope

" then what happens " is that you file due process. Funding trouble is

not an excuse for denying services to a child in need.

Get yourself a good lawyer and stand firm. And know that we are here

for you, too.

Liz

On Jan 5, 2006, at 3:52 AM, A Quick wrote:

> Liz,

>

>

>

> Thank you. I will try the letter for Truancy. I already gave them a

> 5 page

> letter explaining in detail the Asperger's diagnosis and referral to a

> day

> treatment center. This has been an ongoing problem since 3rd grade.

> Because of his high IQ, I didn't even get an IEP until last October

> (2004).

> They said he causes trouble on purpose and he is lazy. IGNORANCE!!!

> I have

> been fighting for residential since his melt down last January with the

> onset of puberty and have been shot down 3 times. FAPT is the

> funding. We

> have one more chance on the 17th. The facility is 1 mile from my

> house and

> it looks like a private Bording School. I toured it last year when

> we had

> 9 months of in home services. Every person on AJ's team cant believe

> they

> wont fund it. My 9 year old said he wants to move in with his Dad,

> who he

> cant stand, because he cant live with AJ anymore. I will find a way

> to make

> this work. I WILL NOT CHOOSE BETWEEN MY KIDS.

>

>

>

> Thank you for your support. I don't mean to be negative, I'm just

> scared to

> death for him.

>

>

>

> Have a great Day!!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Liz Bohn

> Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2006 11:32 PM

>

> Subject: Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

>

>

>

> ,

>

> Are there any good private schools for kids with special needs out your

> way? Seems to me that your district owes you one. If there is such a

> school, it doesn't have to take months to get him there. What we did

> was to pay the initial month of private school tuition, and the

> district paid us back after the placement was funded. He was fully

> funded by the second month.

>

> BUT I HATE IT THAT THE VICTIM IS THE ONE WHO GETS BLAMED!!! He should

> not be the one who has to change schools here. Something is very wrong

> with this picture.

>

> A word of advice if the truancy hearing ever comes up. Get a letter

> from his psychiatrist and/or psychologist saying that he has been

> extremely anxious and depressed ever since this brutal attack BY THE

> SCHOOL'S STUDENTS getting off THE SCHOOL'S BUS. I had such a letter on

> file, and never heard a peep out of them, even though was out of

> school way over ten days.

>

> Good luck, . My heart goes out to you.

>

> Liz

>

> On Jan 4, 2006, at 5:57 PM, A Quick wrote:

>

>> Liz,

>>

>>

>>

>> One boy was expelled from all Virginia Beach Public Schools & the 3

>> others

>> received 3 days of OSS. We also pressed charges against the 4 boys &

>> I'm

>> tempted to include the Vice Principal who allowed him to stay on the

>> bus

>> after walking past AJ & hitting him. The bus driver refused to leave

>> until

>> she was called to remove the child. When she saw which kid was being

>> assaulted (mine), she let him stay & they all 4 got off at my son's

>> bus stop

>> and jumped him. They beat my baby with a stick & the neighbors all

>> watched.

>> If the Navy guy driving buy hadn't pulled over to pull them off AJ, he

>> would

>> have ended up in the hospital or worse. It makes me sick. We had an

>> IEP

>> meeting today to get AJ back into school and feel safe there, and they

>> told

>> me I was going to be summoned to a Truancy hearing and I could go to

>> jail

>> for 10 days for pulling him from school. I broke a State Law & I need

>> to be

>> punished. My son is not safe there and it could take months to get a

>> new

>> placement. I am so angry at this system right now, I will be hiring a

>> lawyer tomorrow to go with me & AJ to the hearing. He is right now

>> pacing

>> like a panther in his room crying about having to go back in the

>> morning.

>> They are going to put him in the computer room to take on-line, at

>> your own

>> pace classes, all day. We shall see. It's a good thing I'm self

>> employed.

>> I have a feeling I will be taking on-line high school with him at

>> home!!!

>>

>>

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you Rose. I really appreciate it. It's a constant battle to fight a

battle for a child who hates to be touched & loved, yet I cant seem to let

go of the feeling I had when I gave birth to him. I guess no matter what

your child does to you, you just cant give up on them. Maybe that's the

definition of Love & Mother all in one. My son is going to be great one

day. I know it, now I have to convince him. (ha,ha) Thanks for the hug!!

I will pass it on to both AJ & Sammy.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Rose

Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2006 11:17 PM

Subject: RE: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

Dear ,

I wish you, your son, the best. I pray everything all works out for you

and your son. big hug to you both!

A Quick <michellepbj@...> wrote:

Liz,

I was informed today that the State has done all they can. They will put AJ

in a day treatment program in a local HS & that's it. " Then what happens "

means we have done all we can & now we can sleep at night and move on to the

next ED child. They want to close his case on the 17th. I have an appt. w/

an attorney next week. I don't know what else to do. I asked them to treat

this like a student loan & I would pay it off for as long as it takes, but

they still look at me like I have my hand out. It makes me sick. But, on

the up-side, I'm as stubborn as a mule & very well known in my community & I

wont give up until AJ gets what he needs. I have his entire school career

in a binder in chronological order from kindergarten - today. Every letter,

504 plan, denial for an IEP, suspension, everything. (AJ hates that

binder!) I can't help it, organizing paperwork is what I do. I have a good

case. I also have every psyc. Testing done on him. The first being in

1999, the last 3 months ago.

I appreciate your support. I hope all is well for you. Thanks for letting

an exhausted Mother vent. And I will stand firm.

Take care,

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Liz Bohn

Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2006 9:28 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

Hi ,

What do you mean by you have one more chance? Then what happens? I hope

" then what happens " is that you file due process. Funding trouble is

not an excuse for denying services to a child in need.

Get yourself a good lawyer and stand firm. And know that we are here

for you, too.

Liz

On Jan 5, 2006, at 3:52 AM, A Quick wrote:

> Liz,

>

>

>

> Thank you. I will try the letter for Truancy. I already gave them a

> 5 page

> letter explaining in detail the Asperger's diagnosis and referral to a

> day

> treatment center. This has been an ongoing problem since 3rd grade.

> Because of his high IQ, I didn't even get an IEP until last October

> (2004).

> They said he causes trouble on purpose and he is lazy. IGNORANCE!!!

> I have

> been fighting for residential since his melt down last January with the

> onset of puberty and have been shot down 3 times. FAPT is the

> funding. We

> have one more chance on the 17th. The facility is 1 mile from my

> house and

> it looks like a private Bording School. I toured it last year when

> we had

> 9 months of in home services. Every person on AJ's team cant believe

> they

> wont fund it. My 9 year old said he wants to move in with his Dad,

> who he

> cant stand, because he cant live with AJ anymore. I will find a way

> to make

> this work. I WILL NOT CHOOSE BETWEEN MY KIDS.

>

>

>

> Thank you for your support. I don't mean to be negative, I'm just

> scared to

> death for him.

>

>

>

> Have a great Day!!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Liz Bohn

> Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2006 11:32 PM

>

> Subject: Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

>

>

>

> ,

>

> Are there any good private schools for kids with special needs out your

> way? Seems to me that your district owes you one. If there is such a

> school, it doesn't have to take months to get him there. What we did

> was to pay the initial month of private school tuition, and the

> district paid us back after the placement was funded. He was fully

> funded by the second month.

>

> BUT I HATE IT THAT THE VICTIM IS THE ONE WHO GETS BLAMED!!! He should

> not be the one who has to change schools here. Something is very wrong

> with this picture.

>

> A word of advice if the truancy hearing ever comes up. Get a letter

> from his psychiatrist and/or psychologist saying that he has been

> extremely anxious and depressed ever since this brutal attack BY THE

> SCHOOL'S STUDENTS getting off THE SCHOOL'S BUS. I had such a letter on

> file, and never heard a peep out of them, even though was out of

> school way over ten days.

>

> Good luck, . My heart goes out to you.

>

> Liz

>

> On Jan 4, 2006, at 5:57 PM, A Quick wrote:

>

>> Liz,

>>

>>

>>

>> One boy was expelled from all Virginia Beach Public Schools & the 3

>> others

>> received 3 days of OSS. We also pressed charges against the 4 boys &

>> I'm

>> tempted to include the Vice Principal who allowed him to stay on the

>> bus

>> after walking past AJ & hitting him. The bus driver refused to leave

>> until

>> she was called to remove the child. When she saw which kid was being

>> assaulted (mine), she let him stay & they all 4 got off at my son's

>> bus stop

>> and jumped him. They beat my baby with a stick & the neighbors all

>> watched.

>> If the Navy guy driving buy hadn't pulled over to pull them off AJ, he

>> would

>> have ended up in the hospital or worse. It makes me sick. We had an

>> IEP

>> meeting today to get AJ back into school and feel safe there, and they

>> told

>> me I was going to be summoned to a Truancy hearing and I could go to

>> jail

>> for 10 days for pulling him from school. I broke a State Law & I need

>> to be

>> punished. My son is not safe there and it could take months to get a

>> new

>> placement. I am so angry at this system right now, I will be hiring a

>> lawyer tomorrow to go with me & AJ to the hearing. He is right now

>> pacing

>> like a panther in his room crying about having to go back in the

>> morning.

>> They are going to put him in the computer room to take on-line, at

>> your own

>> pace classes, all day. We shall see. It's a good thing I'm self

>> employed.

>> I have a feeling I will be taking on-line high school with him at

>> home!!!

>>

>>

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

,

Best of luck with it all. It sounds like you're doing exactly the right

thing. You shouldn't have to pay a dime to have your son appropriately

educated. Obviously, they can't keep him safe.

At our house, there have been some surprises lately. My 23 year old

daughter developed her second deep vein thrombosis (blood clot) in a

year over Christmas. It turns out that it's a lifelong health problem,

and she is none too pleased. Well has spoken to her by phone

twice this week (he NEVER talks to anyone by phone - ever!); he has

talked to his teachers about her; and he has talked to me about being

worried about her. Actual feelings, folks! He has been so sweet! I told

him how much pleasure I got out of seeing how much he and his sister

cared about each other, and he said, " Yeah, she's the only sister I

have. " He left the room and I cried.

Pinch me, someone.

Liz

On Jan 5, 2006, at 6:57 PM, A Quick wrote:

> Liz,

>

>

>

> I was informed today that the State has done all they can. They will

> put AJ

> in a day treatment program in a local HS & that's it. " Then what

> happens "

> means we have done all we can & now we can sleep at night and move on

> to the

> next ED child. They want to close his case on the 17th. I have an

> appt. w/

> an attorney next week. I don't know what else to do. I asked them to

> treat

> this like a student loan & I would pay it off for as long as it takes,

> but

> they still look at me like I have my hand out. It makes me sick.

> But, on

> the up-side, I'm as stubborn as a mule & very well known in my

> community & I

> wont give up until AJ gets what he needs. I have his entire school

> career

> in a binder in chronological order from kindergarten - today. Every

> letter,

> 504 plan, denial for an IEP, suspension, everything. (AJ hates that

> binder!) I can't help it, organizing paperwork is what I do. I have

> a good

> case. I also have every psyc. Testing done on him. The first being in

> 1999, the last 3 months ago.

>

>

>

> I appreciate your support. I hope all is well for you. Thanks for

> letting

> an exhausted Mother vent. And I will stand firm.

>

>

>

> Take care,

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 1/6/2006 1:13:31 AM Eastern Standard Time, lbohn@...

writes:

At our house, there have been some surprises lately. My 23 year old

daughter developed her second deep vein thrombosis (blood clot) in a

year over Christmas. It turns out that it's a lifelong health problem,

and she is none too pleased. Well has spoken to her by phone

twice this week (he NEVER talks to anyone by phone - ever!); he has

talked to his teachers about her; and he has talked to me about being

worried about her. Actual feelings, folks! He has been so sweet! I told

him how much pleasure I got out of seeing how much he and his sister

cared about each other, and he said, " Yeah, she's the only sister I

have. " He left the room and I cried.

Pinch me, someone.

THat is so sweet that he is showing how much he cares! Will she be ok?

Roxanna ô¿ö

Autism Happens

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear :

My experience has been very similar to yours. My

daughter was just 12 though. She gradually became worse w/depression, refusing

to go to school, no homework, etc. I even hired an education consultant

(special education advocate) to be present at the school meeting. My daughter

was

identified as needing special services (AS) . What they offered was not what she

needed at that moment, and they would not pay for a private school or private

residential program. Before going there we had to try the school program,

everyone knew that she could not function but we had to prove first. It was so

cruel to make her fail so she could have something more suitable to her needs at

that time. It is difficult to describe her condition then, and how she

gradually got to that point. We decided to take her out of the Public school

system

and I firmly believe that we saved her life. We found a residential program,

she admits it was the best thing that happened to her. In sum, we are still

struggling, there is no magic cure. Financially speaking the situation is very

difficult; however, any delay trying to get the school to pay for her treatment

and education was detrimental to my child. I had no other way to go. She is

back, registered at a private school, small, very caring people where she finds

a

lot of confort in spiritual values.

Every day continues to be a battle for the family, she

is trying to use what she has learned to have some control over herself. She

is still brilliant and difficult, discouraged many times after her melt downs.

I try to tell her that life is just like that: a constant battle to overcome

obstacles. I would not even try to recover what I have spent, I know it would

be a waste of time and money I do not have. I am deep in debt trying to pay

as much as I can but I do not regret the road we took.

There must be exceptions, but my experience is that

the system does not help AS children w/high intelligence. If you believe is

good for your child to keep fighting you have to do it, but do not delay any

treatment for him waiting for a solution from the system.

Good luck!

Ana

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Share on other sites

In a message dated 1/6/2006 12:18:55 PM Eastern Standard Time,

lbohn@... writes:

She should be okay, Roxanna. She'll have to take Coumadin all her life,

which is a blood thinner. So she'll bruise very easily. And she may

well have problems having children the biological way. Women do, but

the rate of miscarriage and stillbirth is very high. But as long as she

takes her Coumadin, she'll be fine. She's just grumbly about it. Right

now she's in the " Why me? " stage.

Liz

Oh, poor baby. I imgaine it would be a surprise to find yourself dealing

with something like this forever. Hopefully, she will stop moping soon and

come to grips with it. How are YOU doing about it?

Roxanna ô¿ö

Autism Happens

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Share on other sites

She should be okay, Roxanna. She'll have to take Coumadin all her life,

which is a blood thinner. So she'll bruise very easily. And she may

well have problems having children the biological way. Women do, but

the rate of miscarriage and stillbirth is very high. But as long as she

takes her Coumadin, she'll be fine. She's just grumbly about it. Right

now she's in the " Why me? " stage.

Liz

On Jan 6, 2006, at 7:33 AM, kneeleee@... wrote:

>

> In a message dated 1/6/2006 1:13:31 AM Eastern Standard Time,

> lbohn@...

> writes:

>

> At our house, there have been some surprises lately. My 23 year old

> daughter developed her second deep vein thrombosis (blood clot) in a

> year over Christmas. It turns out that it's a lifelong health problem,

> and she is none too pleased. Well has spoken to her by phone

> twice this week (he NEVER talks to anyone by phone - ever!); he has

> talked to his teachers about her; and he has talked to me about being

> worried about her. Actual feelings, folks! He has been so sweet! I

> told

> him how much pleasure I got out of seeing how much he and his sister

> cared about each other, and he said, " Yeah, she's the only sister I

> have. " He left the room and I cried.

>

> Pinch me, someone.

>

>

>

> THat is so sweet that he is showing how much he cares! Will she be

> ok?

>

>

> Roxanna ô¿ö

> Autism Happens

>

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh I'm doing okay. As we all know from dealing with our children who

have AS, it's awful to watch your kids suffer. In this case, she

inherited it from ME. It's an autoimmune problem, and you inherit the

tendency to get an autoimmune disease, not the particular autoimmune

disease. My mother has Reynauds disease (poor circulation in her

hands); I have Sjogren's Syndrome; Tess has anticardiolipin syndrome,

which causes her to get blood clots. All different autoimmune problems.

She's had such problems with her health, it doesn't seem fair. It took

her five years to get through high school, because she was so sick,

remember that? I bet that was part of the same thing, minus the blood

clots. She went to 's special ed school, because the stupid

public schools weren't willing to be flexible enough to let her come

and go as she became able. She's back at work now, and walking with

less pain. Hooray!

Liz

On Jan 6, 2006, at 10:49 AM, kneeleee@... wrote:

>

> In a message dated 1/6/2006 12:18:55 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> lbohn@... writes:

>

> She should be okay, Roxanna. She'll have to take Coumadin all her

> life,

> which is a blood thinner. So she'll bruise very easily. And she may

> well have problems having children the biological way. Women do, but

> the rate of miscarriage and stillbirth is very high. But as long as

> she

> takes her Coumadin, she'll be fine. She's just grumbly about it. Right

> now she's in the " Why me? " stage.

>

> Liz

>

>

>

> Oh, poor baby. I imgaine it would be a surprise to find yourself

> dealing

> with something like this forever. Hopefully, she will stop moping

> soon and

> come to grips with it. How are YOU doing about it?

>

>

> Roxanna ô¿ö

> Autism Happens

>

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ana,

Depakote, Risperdol, Clonodine, Concerta and Luvox. All of these drugs were

for Bipolar & ADHD. AJ is not (I never thought he was) ADHD, Bipolar is

possible but, the Aspergers paper his therapist gave me described AJ's life

to a Tee from age 2 1/2 thru now. My friend thought I wrote it. When I

told her I didn't that it was given to me, she couldn't believe it. My

Mother said the same thing after reading it. Everything clicked into place.

He is now on Trileptol, Seroquil & Abilify for Mood swings & to help with

the anxiety and sleep. It seems to be working.

Take care,

Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

:

What medications you are referring to when you mention " wrong

medications?

Ana

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Ana,

How old is your daughter now? I understand debt. I left my husband 3 years

ago because he felt AJ did everything on purpose to get attention. He is

one of those people who, if you cant see the impairment, like a wheelchair

etc. it's not there. AJ was mentally abused until I finally gave up grabbed

the kids & left with nothing. He fired me from our business, took my

company van and still resides in my house. Thousands upon thousands of

dollars later and we still are not separated. You know how AS kids are when

there is any change to schedule, routine.. We lived in an empty rental

house, they changed schools, we had nothing familiar, not even clothes. (My

x is a real nice guy) I started my own business, bought my very first brand

new mini van (which we call the lemon!! I'm cursed), and AJ had a complete

melt down. It took over a year to get him under control. After that he

went thru puberty and had to be hospitalized 3 times. Finally I got fed up

with his instability, my lack of divorce and the constant fighting between

the boys. So, I decided last summer that we are not going to live in limbo

anymore. Just because I'm not divorced doesn't mean we cant live. So, I

bought a house and had the kids pick colors for their rooms, we picked new

carpet and moved in. And for one blissful month we had peace. They were

happy. Then High School started.

It is a battle for my family too. I hope you don't have to carry the

weight alone, that's why I enjoy this site. I felt so isolated from

" normal " life for so long, I don't even know what it means. Somehow, I will

find the money to send him to residential treatment, I know it wont be

through the school. I'm glad you were in a position to put your daughter in

residential and then private school. In our area, private schools wont take

kids w/ a history of behavior problems. My theory is, he wouldn't have a

behavior problem if they had listened to me 10 years ago!! Anyway, I thank

you for sharing your story and I wish you luck.

Take care,

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of ACuitino@...

Sent: Friday, January 06, 2006 10:38 AM

Subject: Re: ( ) Teenage Boy with Aspergers

Dear :

My experience has been very similar to yours. My

daughter was just 12 though. She gradually became worse w/depression,

refusing

to go to school, no homework, etc. I even hired an education consultant

(special education advocate) to be present at the school meeting. My

daughter was

identified as needing special services (AS) . What they offered was not what

she

needed at that moment, and they would not pay for a private school or

private

residential program. Before going there we had to try the school program,

everyone knew that she could not function but we had to prove first. It was

so

cruel to make her fail so she could have something more suitable to her

needs at

that time. It is difficult to describe her condition then, and how she

gradually got to that point. We decided to take her out of the Public school

system

and I firmly believe that we saved her life. We found a residential program,

she admits it was the best thing that happened to her. In sum, we are still

struggling, there is no magic cure. Financially speaking the situation is

very

difficult; however, any delay trying to get the school to pay for her

treatment

and education was detrimental to my child. I had no other way to go. She is

back, registered at a private school, small, very caring people where she

finds a

lot of confort in spiritual values.

Every day continues to be a battle for the family,

she

is trying to use what she has learned to have some control over herself. She

is still brilliant and difficult, discouraged many times after her melt

downs.

I try to tell her that life is just like that: a constant battle to overcome

obstacles. I would not even try to recover what I have spent, I know it

would

be a waste of time and money I do not have. I am deep in debt trying to pay

as much as I can but I do not regret the road we took.

There must be exceptions, but my experience is that

the system does not help AS children w/high intelligence. If you believe is

good for your child to keep fighting you have to do it, but do not delay any

treatment for him waiting for a solution from the system.

Good luck!

Ana

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