Need advice asap

June 7, 2006

My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to Aspergers.

I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok. Every year they have an

end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter last night saying he

wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect for the staff, etc. And

that this was a reward to those students who did well and behaved all year. He

is to sit in a classroom and do work all day while the others attend the picnic.

I am LIVID right now, just left a message w/ the school to have their social

worker call me asap. What should I say?

I just feel for him. He will feel so left out and I know what I will have to

deal with for days to come after tomorrow.

Holly

__________________________________________________

June 7, 2006

Oh Holly, that is horrible!! I would be on the phone to the super intendant

ASAP. The school can't deny him because of his disorder. I would also

threaten to call my attorney. That is what I would call discrimination.

Your son will be hurt and embarrassed I am sure. I have two boys with AS

and have had so many battles with schools. I have had to call my attorney

for advice, they can't discriminate against him. He should be rewarded for

being able to go to school and dealing with the difficulty that we as

parents know that they have to deal with. Let me know what you do.

Sincerely,

'

Janelle

-- ( ) Need advice asap

My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok. Every year

they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter last night

saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect for the staff

etc. And that this was a reward to those students who did well and behaved

all year. He is to sit in a classroom and do work all day while the others

attend the picnic. I am LIVID right now, just left a message w/ the school

to have their social worker call me asap. What should I say?

I just feel for him. He will feel so left out and I know what I will have to

deal with for days to come after tomorrow.

Holly

__________________________________________________

June 7, 2006

Thank you - your thoughts are just like my own. That letter made me cry. He

really likes his reading teacher and brought her flowers today. He is a loving

child when you earn his respect. This just breaks my heart. He already feels

like he doesnt belong, and if they single him out he will be so heartbroken.

Holly

advocateforaspies <advocateforaspies@...> wrote:

Hello hello!

First off, that would bug me too. They are leaving him out because

of his inability to handle things and it is NOT his fault.

I am absolutely bothered by this.

In my opinion, If this were my son (basically we have had a similar

situations!)

I would keep him home for the day AND YOU TWO can go out and do

something much more rewarding than a picnic.

Then, I would bring it up to their attention that your son has a

NEUROLOGICAL Disorder,,, that, just as a man with Alzheimers has

difficulty managing his behavior at times, your son can't always

manage his own behavior.

Let them know that your son is NOT trying to DISRESPECT the staff,

he is trying to function in a world that isn't that accepting of him

yet.

Punishing him for behavior he has difficulty with is not how things

should be handled.

Absolutely I WOULD NOT let him go to school that day. That is just

me but he doesn't deserve that kind of treatment!

Of course, I am REALLY upset right now,,,,,,

I can't stand it when people put expectations on our children that

can't be attainable! That really bothers me!

This is just another way to make him feel left out, and that, to

me , is totally unacceptable!

I , of course, would be very level headed (at least I would try) in

dealing with them. That doesn't mean you can let them walk all over

you, but no reason to go crazy. However, be firm, and stick by what

you know is right. DON'T let them take your DEVELOPMENTALLY delayed

child and make him feel worse.

After all, I don't know how to fly an Aircraft, and , EVEN if the

u.s.a. told me I am going to PRISON unless I can fly it tomorrow, I

would STILL not be able to fly it. I would need training and help to

handle such a task.

YES THAT IS THE SAME with our Aspies. They need assistance, and help

with functioning sometimes, and NOT punishment to fix EVERYTHING!

Sure we have consequences, but only for things that we ABSOLUTELY

can handle NOT just sometimes, but all of the time!

OK, I have gone on... sorry!

I hope this helps. I have to leave for the doctors appointment but

this is something I HAD to comment on!

*YOU GO GIRL*

Stand up for your son, don't back down, and DON'T let him go to

school for a PUNISHMENT!! That is just not right (in my opinion!)

*hugs* to you!

I hope you can straighten them out!

*smiles* (with gritting teeth for the school.... but smiles for you!)

Bishop

>

> My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new

to Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok.

Every year they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me

a letter last night saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his

lack of respect for the staff, etc. And that this was a reward to

those students who did well and behaved all year. He is to sit in a

classroom and do work all day while the others attend the picnic. I

am LIVID right now, just left a message w/ the school to have their

social worker call me asap. What should I say?

>

> I just feel for him. He will feel so left out and I know what I

will have to deal with for days to come after tomorrow.

>

> Holly

>

> __________________________________________________

>

June 7, 2006

So much for the school helping with his socialization skills, eh?

I just dealt with something similar on Monday and Tuesday. Monday was the

school carnival and Tuesday was the 7th grade field trip to Sacramento to watch

a minor league baseball game. I assumed my daughter was going to both---we'd

never been told any differently. We'd sent in the money for the field trip and

the permission slip. Then we got a call on Monday saying we needed to pick her

up. That she had been 86'd from both activities due to poor grades and blaming

her teachers for the grades. Livid doesn't even begin to cover it!

No one had ever said anything to us about this possibility. I KNEW this would

cause a major meltdown. When I got to the school I had a long talk with the

principal, who kept saying " These are priviledges, not rights. " I asked him to

show me where on the info sheets for these activities it said that you had to

meet a certain grade requirement to attend them. He couldn't. I said that I

agreed that she shouldn't be " rewarded " for poor grades, but that the bottom

line was it's the seventh grade field trip, and she's a seventh grader. That's

the only qualification I ever saw. We compromised. She didn't go to the

carnival, but she got to go on the field trip. However, she had to write notes

of apology to the principal and all the teachers she bad-mouthed in able to be

allowed to go.

Maybe you could work out a similar compromise? Perhaps if he apologizes to

any of the staff that there's been problems with, and you stick to him like glue

throughout the entire picnic? It's worth a try. Hope this helps.

Pat-Mom to Josh (16 yo AS) and Sara ( 13 yo AS)

Holly <ritaNricosmama@...> wrote:

My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok. Every year they

have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter last night saying

he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect for the staff, etc. And

that this was a reward to those students who did well and behaved all year. He

is to sit in a classroom and do work all day while the others attend the picnic.

I am LIVID right now, just left a message w/ the school to have their social

worker call me asap. What should I say?

I just feel for him. He will feel so left out and I know what I will have to

deal with for days to come after tomorrow.

Holly

__________________________________________________

June 7, 2006

I am so angry at your situation that I could spit myself.

We had a go-round with Track and Field Day, and

how the other kids were afraid of him because he

had recently acquired a pushing issue. I spent the

day at school that day, and nothing happened. He

even participated in the events, with no issues.

This seems a little sudden notice in any case. They

can't make up rules as they please.

Jackie, out of school for 5 days and the blood pressure's

coming down!

>

> -- ( ) Need advice asap

>

> My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

> Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok.

> Every year

> they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter

> last night

> saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect for

> the staff

> etc.

>

June 7, 2006

Hello,

First of all, does your child have an IEP with that school? Is there

a written document signed by all parties indicating he is to get

special help wtih social emotional needs? If so, then I'd get my

behind to that school in person, firmly and politely ask to speak to

the principal immediately, if she isn't available then the next in

line, asst principal, then social worker, etc. Inquire of them why

they waited until end of year to indicate that your child needed

(more) assistance with his social/emotional needs? Also I'd say that

it is inappropriate to chastise the child and leave him out of a

positive social experience, due to their lack of ability to meet his

special needs. It is also no excuse that they did not inform his

teachers of his special needs and therefore it is the school's fault

this situation exists. I'd call for an immediate IEP meeting and get

it in specifics on that document, that they are to contact you

whenver your child is having a " difficult " day, instead of letting

his stress and anxiety snowball to where it comes across as rudeness,

to uninformed teachers. I would also tell the principal you fully

intend to bring your child to that picnic and stay with him for the

day, so you can see how well they are meeting his social/emotional

needs, because to remove him from a social event of such magnitude,

ie end of school picnic with his peers, is totally detrimental and

against, a school's agreement on an IEP to help meet that child's

special needs, and that of encouraging his progress in life skills.

::pant pant:: Get the idea here? And if he is NOT on an IEP with that

school? Immediately call for testing right now, so he can get an IEP

so that in the future they cannot use a negative reinfocement to try

to teach him how he misbehaved the whole past year : ) That IEP is

your child's protection also, not just his help to have his special

needs met. How dare they do something like this, when they haven't

contacted your over the whole year about his disrespectful attitude

in school (supposed disrespectful)? Thats negligence, in my eyes. I

wonder how they treated him, each time he supposedly was

disrespectful? Did they handle each incident properly? IMO,from what

I understand so far, I'd have to say absolutely not! Yeap, I bet

every AS parent reading your entry today has their hackles up over

this one! I'm sure they don't want a lawyer coming in there telling

them of their abuse of your child. See what you can work out nicely

first, with principal, not someone lower on the ladder of school

authority.

June 7, 2006

>

> > My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

> > Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok. Every

> > year they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter

> > last night saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of

> > respect for the staff, etc. And that this was a reward to those

> > students who did well and behaved all year. He is to sit in a

> > classroom and do work all day while the others attend the picnic. I am

> > LIVID right now, just left a message w/ the school to have their

> > social worker call me asap. What should I say?

> >

> > I just feel for him. He will feel so left out and I know what I will

> > have to deal with for days to come after tomorrow.

> >

> > Holly

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

June 7, 2006

The same thing happened to me!! My son is in a regular

second grade class while we wait for his evaluations.

His teacher actually called me to let me know that he

was disinvited to the Easter Party the next day due to

his behavior. She wanted me to keep him home!! As if I

don't work. So she told me that they were going to put

him in another class that day. I was so upset but you

know what, Elijah came home that day saying how much

he loved the other class. The students in that class

were nicer. He told me " mommy there are no bullies in

that class " . He didn't take it so bad because I made

it up to him that weekend. But I can totally relate.

Some of these teachers forget that they are dealing

with children.

--- hoyajbk <JillBKern@...> wrote:

>

> >

> > > My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade.

> This school is new to

> > > Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately

> has been doing ok. Every

> > > year they have an end of the year school picnic.

> They sent me a letter

> > > last night saying he wouldnt be able to attend

> due to his lack of

> > > respect for the staff, etc. And that this was a

> reward to those

> > > students who did well and behaved all year. He

> is to sit in a

> > > classroom and do work all day while the others

> attend the picnic. I am

> > > LIVID right now, just left a message w/ the

> school to have their

> > > social worker call me asap. What should I say?

> > >

> > > I just feel for him. He will feel so left out

> and I know what I will

> > > have to deal with for days to come after

> tomorrow.

> > >

> > > Holly

> > >

> __________________________________________________

> > >

June 7, 2006

I just talked to the social worker, who is a very nice woman. Apparently he was

seen masturbating? in class yesterday. Ok.... I think thats probably a harsh

word for what he was doing. I wasnt there, but have never seen that type of

behavior from him?

And of course no one called me - AND it was my day off, I was home all day. I

was just speechless at that. Anyone else deal with that?

There are 4 children they just dont feel " comfortable " taking off school

grounds to the picnic, so he isnt alone. She says they dont have the staff

needed if something does happen and he has a meltdown.They sent me this letter 2

days before the picnic(which he hid from me until this morning) so it didnt

give me time to make arrangements at my job to miss tomorrow either. I did ask

if he could go to his grandmas, and she said yes.

He knows the picnic is tomorrow and is very excited about it. Thats all he has

been talking about all week. No one has told him he couldnt attend. Thats why I

was so upset at the letter, because he is so looking forward to going. Just

breaks my heart.

Luckily he has one week of school left and I am home all summer with him

during our relocation. I just hope he takes the move ok.

Holly

Jackie Geipel <jackie@...> wrote:

I am so angry at your situation that I could spit myself.

We had a go-round with Track and Field Day, and

how the other kids were afraid of him because he

had recently acquired a pushing issue. I spent the

day at school that day, and nothing happened. He

even participated in the events, with no issues.

This seems a little sudden notice in any case. They

can't make up rules as they please.

Jackie, out of school for 5 days and the blood pressure's

coming down!

>

> -- ( ) Need advice asap

>

> My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

> Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok.

> Every year

> they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter

> last night

> saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect for

> the staff

> etc.

>

June 7, 2006

Just a thought, but can grandma attend the picnic to be his " aide " . With my

son, his teachers like that I attend certain events, to focus on him - but

instead I usually help all the other kids and not my son.

laura (the lurker)

Holly <ritaNricosmama@...> wrote:

I just talked to the social worker, who is a very nice woman.

Apparently he was seen masturbating? in class yesterday. Ok.... I think thats

probably a harsh word for what he was doing. I wasnt there, but have never seen

that type of behavior from him?

And of course no one called me - AND it was my day off, I was home all day. I

was just speechless at that. Anyone else deal with that?

There are 4 children they just dont feel " comfortable " taking off school grounds

to the picnic, so he isnt alone. She says they dont have the staff needed if

something does happen and he has a meltdown.They sent me this letter 2 days

before the picnic(which he hid from me until this morning) so it didnt give me

time to make arrangements at my job to miss tomorrow either. I did ask if he

could go to his grandmas, and she said yes.

He knows the picnic is tomorrow and is very excited about it. Thats all he has

been talking about all week. No one has told him he couldnt attend. Thats why I

was so upset at the letter, because he is so looking forward to going. Just

breaks my heart.

Luckily he has one week of school left and I am home all summer with him during

our relocation. I just hope he takes the move ok.

Holly

Jackie Geipel <jackie@...> wrote:

I am so angry at your situation that I could spit myself.

We had a go-round with Track and Field Day, and

how the other kids were afraid of him because he

had recently acquired a pushing issue. I spent the

day at school that day, and nothing happened. He

even participated in the events, with no issues.

This seems a little sudden notice in any case. They

can't make up rules as they please.

Jackie, out of school for 5 days and the blood pressure's

coming down!

>

> -- ( ) Need advice asap

>

> My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

> Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok.

> Every year

> they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter

> last night

> saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect for

> the staff

> etc.

>

June 7, 2006

Holly,

Does he have a parapro? If not you need to look at including that in his IEP.

Schools have rules for disrespect and I have been there. They are just now

getting it and I have two with AS both have gone through the same school and

is now in fifth. I have had to break the way. So the staff is aware of

his problem. I would try my best to find someone if you can't go to get him to

that picnic. For two reasons because he has look forward to it and for social

issues. Did they ever tell you that if he was showing disrespect that he would

be exclude? You also need to make sure in his IEP that he is able to be include

in all activities. During school and extra activities. I have this on both my

sons and since then they have not been exclude because of behavior. And this is

and AS issue. I feel the school just doesn't want to put forth the effort. Are

the other kids exclude also? I would look into that as well. I know you are

running short on time but if they go and yours

does not then I would be calling the BOE.

Good Luck,

Mom of 12ys w/AS

Mom of 10 ys w/hyperlexia/AS

Wife of husband w/AS

<cmcintosh5@...> wrote: K.. Jumping in

and I am ticked off!!

Tell me a kid in Grade one.. Boy.. Who doesn't pull on his peter.. I mean

REALLY??!!

I used to joke with my nephew.. Who isn't autistic.. That " trust me honey..

If you let go if it.. I promise.. It won't fall off!!!! " ALL MEN RE ADJUST

THE JEWELS like it was the best thing in town!! Tell High school students

the same thing!

My son didn't have this issue.. But the teachers are bailing and NOT

teaching the other children that all are to be included.

Can you take a day off work and go in with him?

I think you should.. Or have a teenager go with him.. Or something.. This is

disgusting..

He is aware of it.. And this certainly smacks of prejudice..

Tell them NO and its their responsibility to make sure he's safe.. Its a

scheduled school day

That being said.. I wouldn't send him unless you had someone to go with

him.. That you know and trust personally..

They aren't to be trusted.. That's my idea now..

-- ( ) Need advice asap

>

> My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

> Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok.

> Every year

> they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter

> last night

> saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect for

> the staff

> etc.

>

June 7, 2006

My heart goes out to you! I wish that teachers would realize that our children

need additional help learning things that other students pick up easily. A

teacher who does not understand that it is necessary to teach the student with

AS seemingly obvious things will feel impatient and irritated. I found an

article on O.A.S.I.S. at

http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/karen_williams_guidelines.html that I

found helpful in explaining AS to my child's teachers. I copied it into a

word program, went through and pulled out text that related to my child. I

typed up a paper where I inserted my son's name to the behaviors that he

exhibits. This has helped his teachers to understand him better and help him

get out of difficult situations. Another thing I do every year is talk to each

of the teachers that will be teaching the following year. It is important

that our children have teachers who are open to new teaching techniques. Old

school teachers and

administrators who expect our children to fit into a " good student " mold will

not see the successes our children are experiencing.

Teachers need to understand that there is a funny balancing act we have to do

with AS children. They need a great deal of understanding and patience to

learn how to be successful but they also need a gentle firmness to help them

stay on task and keep their thoughts from wandering, and if you push them too

hard or too fast they will melt down right in the middle of the classroom.

Then they need even more support to help them calm down. Rushing the child

with AS only slows things down!

Good Luck!

Shir

Holly <ritaNricosmama@...> wrote:

I just talked to the social worker, who is a very nice woman. Apparently he

was seen masturbating? in class yesterday. Ok.... I think thats probably a

harsh word for what he was doing. I wasnt there, but have never seen that type

of behavior from him?

And of course no one called me - AND it was my day off, I was home all day. I

was just speechless at that. Anyone else deal with that?

There are 4 children they just dont feel " comfortable " taking off school

grounds to the picnic, so he isnt alone. She says they dont have the staff

needed if something does happen and he has a meltdown.They sent me this letter

2 days before the picnic(which he hid from me until this morning) so it didnt

give me time to make arrangements at my job to miss tomorrow either. I did ask

if he could go to his grandmas, and she said yes.

He knows the picnic is tomorrow and is very excited about it. Thats all he has

been talking about all week. No one has told him he couldnt attend. Thats why I

was so upset at the letter, because he is so looking forward to going. Just

breaks my heart.

Luckily he has one week of school left and I am home all summer with him

during our relocation. I just hope he takes the move ok.

Holly

Jackie Geipel <jackie@...> wrote:

I am so angry at your situation that I could spit myself.

We had a go-round with Track and Field Day, and

how the other kids were afraid of him because he

had recently acquired a pushing issue. I spent the

day at school that day, and nothing happened. He

even participated in the events, with no issues.

This seems a little sudden notice in any case. They

can't make up rules as they please.

Jackie, out of school for 5 days and the blood pressure's

coming down!

>

> -- ( ) Need advice asap

>

> My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

> Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok.

> Every year

> they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter

> last night

> saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect for

> the staff

> etc.

>

June 7, 2006

I went into work today and theres no way I can get out of work. I am waiting for

my mother in law to call me back to see what she can do for me tomorrow. I just

think that telling me my son was masterbating really was harsh. I know he has NO

clue what that means, my goodness - he is 6 1/2. My hubby is in Alabama right

now and is so upset over all this and I havent even told him about my

conversation w/ the social worker yet!

Holly

<cmcintosh5@...> wrote:

K.. Jumping in and I am ticked off!!

Tell me a kid in Grade one.. Boy.. Who doesn't pull on his peter.. I mean

REALLY??!!

I used to joke with my nephew.. Who isn't autistic.. That " trust me honey..

If you let go if it.. I promise.. It won't fall off!!!! " ALL MEN RE ADJUST

THE JEWELS like it was the best thing in town!! Tell High school students

the same thing!

My son didn't have this issue.. But the teachers are bailing and NOT

teaching the other children that all are to be included.

Can you take a day off work and go in with him?

I think you should.. Or have a teenager go with him.. Or something.. This is

disgusting..

He is aware of it.. And this certainly smacks of prejudice..

Tell them NO and its their responsibility to make sure he's safe.. Its a

scheduled school day

That being said.. I wouldn't send him unless you had someone to go with

him.. That you know and trust personally..

They aren't to be trusted.. That's my idea now..

-- ( ) Need advice asap

>

> My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

> Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok.

> Every year

> they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter

> last night

> saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect for

> the staff

> etc.

>

June 7, 2006

,

I am waiting for her to call me back, she wasnt home when I called. I do go on

his field trips with him also....they tell me its in " his " best interest if I

attend them!

Holly

" (Crosby) " <usmlaura@...> wrote:

Just a thought, but can grandma attend the picnic to be his " aide " .

With my son, his teachers like that I attend certain events, to focus on him -

but instead I usually help all the other kids and not my son.

laura (the lurker)

Holly <ritaNricosmama@...> wrote:

I just talked to the social worker, who is a very nice woman. Apparently he was

seen masturbating? in class yesterday. Ok.... I think thats probably a harsh

word for what he was doing. I wasnt there, but have never seen that type of

behavior from him?

And of course no one called me - AND it was my day off, I was home all day. I

was just speechless at that. Anyone else deal with that?

There are 4 children they just dont feel " comfortable " taking off school grounds

to the picnic, so he isnt alone. She says they dont have the staff needed if

something does happen and he has a meltdown.They sent me this letter 2 days

before the picnic(which he hid from me until this morning) so it didnt give me

time to make arrangements at my job to miss tomorrow either. I did ask if he

could go to his grandmas, and she said yes.

He knows the picnic is tomorrow and is very excited about it. Thats all he has

been talking about all week. No one has told him he couldnt attend. Thats why I

was so upset at the letter, because he is so looking forward to going. Just

breaks my heart.

Luckily he has one week of school left and I am home all summer with him during

our relocation. I just hope he takes the move ok.

Holly

Jackie Geipel <jackie@...> wrote:

I am so angry at your situation that I could spit myself.

We had a go-round with Track and Field Day, and

how the other kids were afraid of him because he

had recently acquired a pushing issue. I spent the

day at school that day, and nothing happened. He

even participated in the events, with no issues.

This seems a little sudden notice in any case. They

can't make up rules as they please.

Jackie, out of school for 5 days and the blood pressure's

coming down!

>

> -- ( ) Need advice asap

>

> My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

> Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok.

> Every year

> they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter

> last night

> saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect for

> the staff

> etc.

>

June 7, 2006

You are such a good mom! You love your son so much! How lucky he is

to have you *hugs*

I am sure he is just a wonderful boy that wants to be accepted and

the fact that he loves his reading teacher... that is just

wonderful.

You keep trucking!!!! I want to hear how it goes.

I know you don't know me, but if I lived near you (and IT IS OBVIOUS

you would have to know and trust me) I would take your son for the

day with my kids and we would have a ball! Forget the school *grin*

Seriously, I think your ?mother? would be a much better choice!

My son once said, " mom, isn't it weird how that kid was nice to me

and then mean " and I said< " Yes. It is interesting how kids can try

to hurt other kids. I think that maybe those kids are not treated

nicely by someone else, so they try to pick on other kids to feel

better. DO you think he was able to hurt you? Or did he fail? "

My son, that time, said that he failed because my son understood

what this kid was trying to do.

We talk about how other kids may try to be mean, and even adults and

I get my son to really understand what he is up against, and that it

is ok to feel dissapointed or hurt, but at least he knows I get him

and love him to death.

The more you can talk about things like this, the better off I THINK

he will be in the end!

*smiles* to you,

(who is pretty calm, for now. hehehe)

>

June 7, 2006

ditto!!!!

Handle it nicely to start, but if you meet with a brick wall, it is ti

me to become a brick wall CRASHER *Grin*

Fill us in on if there is an IEP. I want to know if he has support, if

not it is time they start getting some for him.

Boy, we are all so spitting mad! Don't you love the support you have

here?

*hugs*

B

>

> Hello,

>

> First of all, does your child have an IEP with that school? Is there

> a written document signed by all parties indicating he is to get

> special help wtih social emotional needs? If so, then I'd get my

> behind to that school in person, firmly and politely ask to speak to

> the principal immediately, if she isn't available then the next in

>

June 7, 2006

Holly, thanks for updating us.

FIRST<

I wonder about this masturbating issue? I wonder if that is really

made up and they are just using it as an 'easy' excuse.

If you have never seen him do this, then perhaps there is more that

needs to be talked about (what is going on at school, causing him to

do something like that?!?!?!)

Of course no one called you. I can see them hiding behind paper work.

Yeah, surprise you with such a thing and hope you won't have time to

try to fix it.

There are 4 kids they don't feel 'comfortable' taking off school

grounds? Well, isn't that too bad!?!?! That is what they are doing

with the other kids, so perhaps they shouldn't take ANY of the kids

off the grounds. They will just have to GET the staff they need, and

you should not be responsible for that.

That is what he needs help with and they need to be prepared or send

him someplace where he can get what he needs.

It is too bad he is excited about the picnic. We are having rain

here in Maine, wish I could send it your way (sorry I said that

*grin*)

You know Holly, if he loves going to school, let him miss a day and

finish the year and start off in the new school with a plan. Get

things going to get him the support he needs.

Has he enjoyed this last couple of weeks?

I am SOO glad you are on the move!! I hope to a better place, too:)

*hugs*

lisa B

>

> Luckily he has one week of school left and I am home all summer

with him during our relocation. I just hope he takes the move ok.

>

> Holly

> Jackie Geipel <jackie@...> wrote:

June 7, 2006

No IEP - they have given him a support group and a special teacher 3 x's a wk. I

am so glad were moving, hoping to have better luck in Alabama. They did find out

what he had and lead me in the right direction with him, it just seems they dont

know how to handle him at all? Aspergers is a whole new world to them at this

school.

Holly

advocateforaspies <advocateforaspies@...> wrote:

ditto!!!!

Handle it nicely to start, but if you meet with a brick wall, it is ti

me to become a brick wall CRASHER *Grin*

Fill us in on if there is an IEP. I want to know if he has support, if

not it is time they start getting some for him.

Boy, we are all so spitting mad! Don't you love the support you have

here?

*hugs*

B

>

> Hello,

>

> First of all, does your child have an IEP with that school? Is there

> a written document signed by all parties indicating he is to get

> special help wtih social emotional needs? If so, then I'd get my

> behind to that school in person, firmly and politely ask to speak to

> the principal immediately, if she isn't available then the next in

>

Motor City Kennels

American Staffordshire Terriers and English Bulldogs

Home to CH IPK's Scar the Black Dragon

__________________________________________________

June 7, 2006

K.. Jumping in and I am ticked off!!

Tell me a kid in Grade one.. Boy.. Who doesn't pull on his peter.. I mean

REALLY??!!

I used to joke with my nephew.. Who isn't autistic.. That " trust me honey..

If you let go if it.. I promise.. It won't fall off!!!! " ALL MEN RE ADJUST

THE JEWELS like it was the best thing in town!! Tell High school students

the same thing!

My son didn't have this issue.. But the teachers are bailing and NOT

teaching the other children that all are to be included.

Can you take a day off work and go in with him?

I think you should.. Or have a teenager go with him.. Or something.. This is

disgusting..

He is aware of it.. And this certainly smacks of prejudice..

Tell them NO and its their responsibility to make sure he's safe.. Its a

scheduled school day

That being said.. I wouldn't send him unless you had someone to go with

him.. That you know and trust personally..

They aren't to be trusted.. That's my idea now..

-- ( ) Need advice asap

>

> My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

> Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok.

> Every year

> they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter

> last night

> saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect for

> the staff

> etc.

>

June 7, 2006

I would be LIVID to..... I hope you can sort something out

Cheers Jaxx (New Zealand)

( ) Need advice asap

> My son is still in regular classes, 1st grade. This school is new to

> Aspergers. I know he has meltdowns but lately has been doing ok. Every

> year they have an end of the year school picnic. They sent me a letter

> last night saying he wouldnt be able to attend due to his lack of respect

> for the staff, etc. And that this was a reward to those students who did

> well and behaved all year. He is to sit in a classroom and do work all day

> while the others attend the picnic. I am LIVID right now, just left a

> message w/ the school to have their social worker call me asap. What

> should I say?

>

> I just feel for him. He will feel so left out and I know what I will have

> to deal with for days to come after tomorrow.

>

> Holly

>

> __________________________________________________

>

June 7, 2006

that is horrible, but I know what you mean, my Son won a Subway(foot long)

and was to be able to invite 5 friends to share it with him at the school, but

within the month of school getting out, the counselor told him he would not

be able to have the Subway party for him and his friends because he was

failing 2 classes, the winning of the sub sandwich had nothing to do with

whether

or not he was failing or not, so he was denied the party.......with friends,

which would of been such a great thing for him........the social interaction

and friendship is just as important for my Son, and something like this, would

of probably given him the boost he needed to do better in his classes, but

the teachers/counselors...etc....all have the theory if your failing or not

doing well, then lets take away some fun stuff, but on the other hand, the fun

stuff to me, helps them to better focus on the not so fun stuff.......BTW my

son was main streamed all year,,,,,,,,,,,and the final year end report

card........he failed science and social studies not only for the quarter but

for

the whole semester.........all F's and mostly it was because both the teachers

of these classes.........were very rude, did nothing to help him, made a

mockery of him in front of the classes, so my Son shut down, and would not

participate, which then snow balled back on him, because they didn't care what

disabilities he had, he had to do what everyone else did, they said he was NON

compliant, but somehow he moves on to the next grade which is 9th grade, a

new school, and I am sure he was already been let known he was non-compliant,

despite all my attempts to get an IEP, and get him help, and get this they

told me he did not qualify for summer school, only the kids who are below

proficient could go, as funding was sparse, well excuse me an F would be below

proficient, but what to do I know...........and that folks is the public school

system for you, it doesn't get any easier or better the older they get.

Lynda

June 7, 2006

Holly,

I hope it works out for you and your son, I don't have any advise, I just

wanted to say that my heart goes out to you and your son. What a bunch of jerks

in that school system to single out a little boy in the 1st grade. I hope you

find/found the solution that works the best for your little guy.

Holly <ritaNricosmama@...> wrote:

Thank you - your thoughts are just like my own. That letter made me

cry. He really likes his reading teacher and brought her flowers today. He is a

loving child when you earn his respect. This just breaks my heart. He already

feels like he doesnt belong, and if they single him out he will be so

heartbroken.