When to push and when not?

[Guest guest]

My 6 1/2 yr old son received a diagnosis of Asperger's about 2 months

ago - although our pediatrician suggested over a year ago that he was

exhibiting many signs/symptoms of AS. So, needless to say, I'm trying

to figure out what is going on with my dear son and in his little

mind. He currently is on a neighborhood swim team -- he loves to

swim -- and is so excited about the team -- however when we go to

practices or meets we are having a very difficult time to get him to

swim -- he starts crying and saying he can't --- Do we push him to do

it because we know he can -- or is there something more going on here

and should we not encourage him to try. Because he is in the younger

group of swimmers - the rules for swim team are very relaxed which

has been nice since he has difficulty doing " proper " strokes, etc.

And, again, when we are leaving practice or a meet, he talks like it

was the greatest thing - even though he cries and we have to

practically push him in or pry his fingers off the wall. I'm

exhausted after this week - things seem to have escalated with

his " fears " at practice and meets. If my husband and I take him to

the pool for fun - he has no trouble getting in (even jumping in) and

swimming with his younger brother. My husband can throw him up in

the air and he will splash down in the water and swim to the side of

the pool. It's night and day, what we are seeing at practice and

then during " fun time " -- Does anyone have any insights??? Thanks in

advance for your help.

[Guest guest]

Perhaps he needs previewing before hand...going over a " script " of exactly

what will be taking place at the meet. Also, does he know when he will be

swimming (what # slot)? Pam

[Guest guest]

Sometimes our children benefit from a sensory diet of heavy work before

going into an unstructured activity or an activity where it requires a lot of

waiting etc. Pam

[Guest guest]

My daughter was also diagnosed recently, and is 6 1/2 now. She has

this thing like your son, like loving to do something at home, but

crying and having panic attacks in other situations. Afterwards she

will also say it was wonderful, and is very proud of herself.

I believe is anxiety, but I'm not an expert. Recently she tried

skeeball. After 10 minutes or so she started to swing, and swing, and

swing her arm and go back and forth with her feet about 10 seconds

before releasing the ball. Soon it was 20 seconds, she was really

doing a little dance before being able to throw the ball. And said

" sorry " every time she missed, and every time the ball kicked. It took

3 days saying everytime that it was OK to miss, everyone missed too,

and don't be afraid of the sound of the ball. Now she does it OK. I

think they need explanations, reassurances and lots of praise, about

10 times more than other children. Or 100

(but, as for being practical, I would say to have a talk about it

before bed, and then, when the practice comes, be firm. But that is

just my 2 cents).

>

> My 6 1/2 yr old son received a diagnosis of Asperger's about 2 months

> ago - although our pediatrician suggested over a year ago that he was

> exhibiting many signs/symptoms of AS. So, needless to say, I'm trying

> to figure out what is going on with my dear son and in his little

> mind. He currently is on a neighborhood swim team -- he loves to

> swim -- and is so excited about the team -- however when we go to

> practices or meets we are having a very difficult time to get him to

> swim -- he starts crying and saying he can't --- Do we push him to do

> it because we know he can -- or is there something more going on here

> and should we not encourage him to try. Because he is in the younger

> group of swimmers - the rules for swim team are very relaxed which

> has been nice since he has difficulty doing " proper " strokes, etc.

> And, again, when we are leaving practice or a meet, he talks like it

> was the greatest thing - even though he cries and we have to

> practically push him in or pry his fingers off the wall. I'm

> exhausted after this week - things seem to have escalated with

> his " fears " at practice and meets. If my husband and I take him to

> the pool for fun - he has no trouble getting in (even jumping in) and

> swimming with his younger brother. My husband can throw him up in

> the air and he will splash down in the water and swim to the side of

> the pool. It's night and day, what we are seeing at practice and

> then during " fun time " -- Does anyone have any insights??? Thanks in

> advance for your help.

>

[Guest guest]

Pam - Can you give me example of a sensory diet of heavy work??? Again,

this is all so new -- I am waiting for 2 books to come so that I can

read more -- I've read a lot on the internet too. Thanks! --

>

> Sometimes our children benefit from a sensory diet of heavy work

before

> going into an unstructured activity or an activity where it requires

a lot of

> waiting etc. Pam

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

This article may be overwhelming...you want to look at this section

Senses provided from muscles and joints about 1/3 of the way down the

page...Pam

_SENSORY INTEGRATION ACTIVITIES_

(http://www.juststeve.com/a/OTResources/siact.htm)

[Guest guest]

Hi, my son is a just turned 8 year old, and I see this all the

time. He wants to join something, but playing it simply doesn't

interest him as much as the idea of it. This year he walked into

his first day of baseball practice with a worksheet so he could

record each player's stats, in both practices and in games. He also

thought he would record this WHILE playing - as if he could pause

the game and record something. His fantasy is not reality, and

reality moves too fast for him. His fantasy is PREDICTABLE, and

reality is too insecure. Reality makes him anxious.

We are pursuing an anti-anxiety medication for him to see if that

will help him curb some of this anxiety which freezes him from truly

participating.

As far as pushing or not, I always pick my battles. In this case,

if the coach expects him to participate and he will not, then remove

him. If the coach is OK with what he is doing, leave him alone. In

time, I am sure the rules will make more sense simply by being able

to witness what the other kids are doing. We as parents have to be

careful to not let our own embarassment make us push our kids (I am

not saying you are doing this, but I know I HAVE struggled with this

myself).

>

> My 6 1/2 yr old son received a diagnosis of Asperger's about 2

months

> ago - although our pediatrician suggested over a year ago that he

was

> exhibiting many signs/symptoms of AS. So, needless to say, I'm

trying

> to figure out what is going on with my dear son and in his little

> mind. He currently is on a neighborhood swim team -- he loves to

> swim -- and is so excited about the team -- however when we go to

> practices or meets we are having a very difficult time to get him

to

> swim -- he starts crying and saying he can't --- Do we push him to

do

> it because we know he can -- or is there something more going on

here

> and should we not encourage him to try. Because he is in the

younger

> group of swimmers - the rules for swim team are very relaxed which

> has been nice since he has difficulty doing " proper " strokes,

etc.

> And, again, when we are leaving practice or a meet, he talks like

it

> was the greatest thing - even though he cries and we have to

> practically push him in or pry his fingers off the wall. I'm

> exhausted after this week - things seem to have escalated with

> his " fears " at practice and meets. If my husband and I take him

to

> the pool for fun - he has no trouble getting in (even jumping in)

and

> swimming with his younger brother. My husband can throw him up in

> the air and he will splash down in the water and swim to the side

of

> the pool. It's night and day, what we are seeing at practice and

> then during " fun time " -- Does anyone have any insights??? Thanks

in

> advance for your help.

>