Re: Bad behaviors

[Guest guest]

How old is he? My son had started to spit, and one time, he spit on an

amusement ride and it landed on my niece, I was mortified. I took away his

priviledges for the whole day... I only do one day at a time, because it is

easier for him to understand, and if he's good, he gets them back the next day.

It really worked for me... cause he is really into the computer... what they are

really into, take it away for one day and see if that works... but remind him

why he is losing it, for how long and stick to it. They cry and beg for about

an hour and then they are fine...just ignore it completely...easier said than

done, but you have to.

( ) Bad behaviors

How do you handle the bad behavior habits? My son is in to spitting right

now. Some times it is directional and sometimes it is more general ...like

up in the air so it lands on someone but kind of indirectly. I'm am so

frustrated with this. The excuse was people have been picking on him for so

long he decided to just get even. The bus driver told him to stop but I don

t think it even slowed him down. The only reason I know what happened is his

twin brother told on him. I discussed with him why he shouldn't do this and

of course then he was mad at me because " I always say that " . Well I don't

know what I'm suppose to say that won't make him angry. How do you stop the

bad behaviors?This is going to be a long summer and we still have 7 days of

school left.

Any suggestions???

Suzanne

Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble

remembering how to fly.

No Non-Scents Soaps and Candles

www.nonon-scents.com

http://www.cureautismnow.org/aam

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/31/2006 10:40:42 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

suzannex6@... writes:

_Supporting Students with Asperger's Syndrome Who Present Behavioral

Challenges, IRCA Articles, Access Autism_

(http://www.iidc.indiana.edu/irca/behavior/supportiASP.html)

This is a general article that may help

[Guest guest]

This sounds terrible, but my daughter use to bite and she didn't KNOW it hurt

people. I didn't think it was a good idea, my mother said " bite her bac k " ..not

enough to leave a mark or break skin by any means, but I finally did it out of

despersation and she never bit again. She just didn't KNOW it hurt.

( ) bad behaviors

Bad behaviors can be minimized, if you do some role playing with your child,

for instance he wants to spit on people, so take the situation and reverse

the role, pretend you are him, and he is a kid on the bus, just sitting

there,

then spit on him, and see what he thinks about how it feels to be spit

on.......this is the best way I know of how to teach.......it has been an

effective tool for me in teaching my Son proper social skills, my son likes

to moon

other kids in the park who might be picking on him, and I could not get him

to

stop this behavior, so I reversed the role and mooned him and he was in

total shock at how that looked, and I said NOW YOU KNOW HOW THE OTHER KIDS

FELT!

He laughs and giggles, and thinks I am a total nut, which by this time of

raising an aspie son, I probably am, but it stops the bad behavior. Lynda

[Guest guest]

Subject: ( ) Bad behaviors

How do you handle the bad behavior habits? My son is in to spitting right

now. Some times it is directional and sometimes it is more general ...like

up in the air so it lands on someone but kind of indirectly. I'm am so

frustrated with this. The excuse was people have been picking on him for so

long he decided to just get even. The bus driver told him to stop but I don

t think it even slowed him down. The only reason I know what happened is his

twin brother told on him. I discussed with him why he shouldn't do this and

of course then he was mad at me because " I always say that " . Well I don't

know what I'm suppose to say that won't make him angry. How do you stop the

bad behaviors?This is going to be a long summer and we still have 7 days of

school left.

Any suggestions???

Suzanne

**** Personally, I think he is trying to tell you how frustrated he is via

behaviors. My ds got so upset on the bus that he started screaming and

wouldn't stop screaming. So they would punish him for screaming. I found

out later what was going on and asked the principal, " What punishment did

the kids who were shoving his face into the window get? " No response.

Well, if he told the driver and the driver didn't fix the problem and he

can't fix the problem - what is he going to do but come up with a behavior

that he feels will work to solve the problem or that just comes out out of

sheer frustration.

So I would figure out what is bothering him on the bus in order to solve the

problem and then work on the spitting. Or, request a special ed bus. In

the end, we got a sped bus and it was a few years of peace.

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

Hi!

Max does " bad behaviors " a lot. Teasing. Spitting.

Hitting. If I demand for him to stop (say it nicely

first, working up to a demand), he just puts up more

of a wall and continues. What works is to find what

" gets " him - for him it's " taking his toy Lily away " .

I have to threaten or act on taking it away. Then

he'll stop ( " if you do that, I'll take Lily away " ).

This is the only thing that works. That wall is

frustrating. When my husband asks him to do something

like, " come here " , and Max refuses, we rephrase the

question. We give him 2 options (not coming is not one

of them): " do you want mommy or daddy to come get

you? " , or " do you want to walk or run here? " I know

it's so frustrating, and this doesn't always work.

" The Explosive Child " by Ross Greene helped us a lot.

- Adrienne from Boston

--- Suzanne <suzannex6@...> wrote:

> How do you handle the bad behavior habits? My son is

> in to spitting right

> now. Some times it is directional and sometimes it

> is more general ...like

> up in the air so it lands on someone but kind of

> indirectly. I'm am so

> frustrated with this. The excuse was people have

> been picking on him for so

> long he decided to just get even. The bus driver

> told him to stop but I don

> t think it even slowed him down. The only reason I

> know what happened is his

> twin brother told on him. I discussed with him why

> he shouldn't do this and

> of course then he was mad at me because " I always

> say that " . Well I don't

> know what I'm suppose to say that won't make him

> angry. How do you stop the

> bad behaviors?This is going to be a long summer and

> we still have 7 days of

> school left.

> Any suggestions???

>

> Suzanne

>

> Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet

> when our wings have trouble

> remembering how to fly.

>

> No Non-Scents Soaps and Candles

> www.nonon-scents.com

> http://www.cureautismnow.org/aam

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I know he is frustrated but there are things he just can't be allowed to do.

I did ask for alternate transportation but they want to see how the end of

the year goes. I told them I am sick of him being in trouble for how he

responds to the other kids. The bus driver has been told about him and now I

think he is looking the other way with some things but that's not going to

solve things either. When the driver does intervene my son doesn't care what

he says and I think it's usually because he is so frustrated at that point

it's just too late.

I'm glad there are only 5 days of school left, and I'm sure I'll have many

opportunities to work on these issues this summer. I'll be glad when I

master those skills.

Suzanne

-- ( ) Bad behaviors

How do you handle the bad behavior habits? My son is in to spitting right

now. Some times it is directional and sometimes it is more general ...like

up in the air so it lands on someone but kind of indirectly. I'm am so

frustrated with this. The excuse was people have been picking on him for so

long he decided to just get even. The bus driver told him to stop but I don

t think it even slowed him down. The only reason I know what happened is his

twin brother told on him. I discussed with him why he shouldn't do this and

of course then he was mad at me because " I always say that " . Well I don't

know what I'm suppose to say that won't make him angry. How do you stop the

bad behaviors?This is going to be a long summer and we still have 7 days of

school left.

Any suggestions???

Suzanne

**** Personally, I think he is trying to tell you how frustrated he is via

behaviors. My ds got so upset on the bus that he started screaming and

wouldn't stop screaming. So they would punish him for screaming. I found

out later what was going on and asked the principal, " What punishment did

the kids who were shoving his face into the window get? " No response.

Well, if he told the driver and the driver didn't fix the problem and he

can't fix the problem - what is he going to do but come up with a behavior

that he feels will work to solve the problem or that just comes out out of

sheer frustration.

So I would figure out what is bothering him on the bus in order to solve the

problem and then work on the spitting. Or, request a special ed bus. In

the end, we got a sped bus and it was a few years of peace.

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

Subject: RE: ( ) Bad behaviors

I know he is frustrated but there are things he just can't be allowed to do.

I did ask for alternate transportation but they want to see how the end of

the year goes. I told them I am sick of him being in trouble for how he

responds to the other kids. The bus driver has been told about him and now I

think he is looking the other way with some things but that's not going to

solve things either. When the driver does intervene my son doesn't care what

he says and I think it's usually because he is so frustrated at that point

it's just too late.

I'm glad there are only 5 days of school left, and I'm sure I'll have many

opportunities to work on these issues this summer. I'll be glad when I

master those skills.

Suzanne

I'm sure I didn't say to allow him to do it. I said to figure out why he is

doing it and resolve the problem. They want to see how the end of the year

will go? That is administrator speak for " go away, call me next year. "

Seems like you already know how it's going to go. Are they waiting for a

cloud of " erase Autism " to magically land on his head between now and the

end of school?

LOL, you are mastering a lot of skills. Hang in there. Get tough.

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

Well, it just keeps getting more interesting.... he got kicked off the bus

for the rest of the year. So it was only 3 days. I asked special services

what are you going to do about this. He said well you are going to bring him

.. I said this isn't happening next school year. He said well lets see what

we decide in August. I told him let's address it now. Well it got worse. A

parent wants to know if my kid has been tested for HIV. Well guess what. I

put it right back in their lap and told them to get their kid tested to make

sure he/she doesn't already have HIV. I told them there has to be a baseline

So we'll see what happens next.

My son did say the reason he was acting up was he is sick and tired of being

picked on and decided to get even this week.

Yet another reason for some bus intervention. How stupid can the school

personnel be?????

Suzanne

-- RE: ( ) Bad behaviors

I know he is frustrated but there are things he just can't be allowed to do.

I did ask for alternate transportation but they want to see how the end of

the year goes. I told them I am sick of him being in trouble for how he

responds to the other kids. The bus driver has been told about him and now I

think he is looking the other way with some things but that's not going to

solve things either. When the driver does intervene my son doesn't care what

he says and I think it's usually because he is so frustrated at that point

it's just too late.

I'm glad there are only 5 days of school left, and I'm sure I'll have many

opportunities to work on these issues this summer. I'll be glad when I

master those skills.

Suzanne

I'm sure I didn't say to allow him to do it. I said to figure out why he is

doing it and resolve the problem. They want to see how the end of the year

will go? That is administrator speak for " go away, call me next year. "

Seems like you already know how it's going to go. Are they waiting for a

cloud of " erase Autism " to magically land on his head between now and the

end of school?

LOL, you are mastering a lot of skills. Hang in there. Get tough.

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

Oh sweetie I am so sorry...

they are really being unreasonable.. but you are a smart cookie putting it

all back on their laps.

this is what happens when they don't do their jobs!

-- RE: ( ) Bad behaviors

I know he is frustrated but there are things he just can't be allowed to do.

I did ask for alternate transportation but they want to see how the end of

the year goes. I told them I am sick of him being in trouble for how he

responds to the other kids. The bus driver has been told about him and now I

think he is looking the other way with some things but that's not going to

solve things either. When the driver does intervene my son doesn't care what

he says and I think it's usually because he is so frustrated at that point

it's just too late.

I'm glad there are only 5 days of school left, and I'm sure I'll have many

opportunities to work on these issues this summer. I'll be glad when I

master those skills.

Suzanne

I'm sure I didn't say to allow him to do it. I said to figure out why he is

doing it and resolve the problem. They want to see how the end of the year

will go? That is administrator speak for " go away, call me next year. "

Seems like you already know how it's going to go. Are they waiting for a

cloud of " erase Autism " to magically land on his head between now and the

end of school?

LOL, you are mastering a lot of skills. Hang in there. Get tough.

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

And it also gives good cause for some home schooling some days doesn't it??

I just wish we could all afford it.. To stay home with our kids.. That whole

school world is so damn cruel!

-- RE: ( ) Bad behaviors

I know he is frustrated but there are things he just can't be allowed to do.

I did ask for alternate transportation but they want to see how the end of

the year goes. I told them I am sick of him being in trouble for how he

responds to the other kids. The bus driver has been told about him and now I

think he is looking the other way with some things but that's not going to

solve things either. When the driver does intervene my son doesn't care what

he says and I think it's usually because he is so frustrated at that point

it's just too late.

I'm glad there are only 5 days of school left, and I'm sure I'll have many

opportunities to work on these issues this summer. I'll be glad when I

master those skills.

Suzanne

I'm sure I didn't say to allow him to do it. I said to figure out why he is

doing it and resolve the problem. They want to see how the end of the year

will go? That is administrator speak for " go away, call me next year. "

Seems like you already know how it's going to go. Are they waiting for a

cloud of " erase Autism " to magically land on his head between now and the

end of school?

LOL, you are mastering a lot of skills. Hang in there. Get tough.

Roxanna

[Guest guest]

Ok, that gets me fiesty (SP?) but I would have probably spit out, NO

BUS, ok, get him to school whatever way you can. That is YOUR job. I

can't do it!

hehehe!

How stupid can they be??? hehehehehehe! Let me count the ways (Not

discounting those that are brilliant, of course!)

*smiles*

B

>

> Well, it just keeps getting more interesting.... he got kicked off

the bus

> for the rest of the year. So it was only 3 days. I asked special

services

> what are you going to do about this. He said well you are going to

bring him

> . I said this isn't happening next school year. He said well lets

see what

> we decide in August. I told him let's address it now. Well it got

worse. A

> parent wants to know if my kid has been tested for HIV. Well guess

what. I

> put it right back in their lap and told them to get their kid

tested to make

> sure he/she doesn't already have HIV. I told them there has to be

a baseline

> So we'll see what happens next.

>

> My son did say the reason he was acting up was he is sick and

tired of being

> picked on and decided to get even this week.

> Yet another reason for some bus intervention. How stupid can the

school

> personnel be?????

>

> Suzanne

>

> -------Original Message-------

>

[Guest guest]

You need to call your Ohio coalition rep and get them to help you with sped

transportation. Do NOT wait until fall to " see what happens " because that

will be their stupid plan. And it is their responsibility to provide

transportation for your sped child. They need to offer alternative

transportation and not just refuse to provide any. The coalition can help

you sort it out. But I really have seen this happen before with my own ds.

They can only put up with so much harassment before they pop. No, it's not

right that they " pop " but we have to provide them with alternatives and help

and not just wait and hope they figure it out on their own. Well, you know

that. I'm just so annoyed for you!

Roxanna

Autism Happens

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Suzanne

Sent: Thursday, June 08, 2006 11:32 AM

Subject: RE: ( ) Bad behaviors

Well, it just keeps getting more interesting.... he got kicked off the bus

for the rest of the year. So it was only 3 days. I asked special services

what are you going to do about this. He said well you are going to bring him

.. I said this isn't happening next school year. He said well lets see what

we decide in August. I told him let's address it now. Well it got worse. A

parent wants to know if my kid has been tested for HIV. Well guess what. I

put it right back in their lap and told them to get their kid tested to make

sure he/she doesn't already have HIV. I told them there has to be a baseline

So we'll see what happens next.

My son did say the reason he was acting up was he is sick and tired of being

picked on and decided to get even this week.

Yet another reason for some bus intervention. How stupid can the school

personnel be?????

Suzanne

[Guest guest]

>

> I already posted about some other behaviors that seem to be yeast

> flare ups. Now my son is having the huge tantrums hitting , scratching

> , and taking his seat belt off in the car. He will lay down and

> refuse to get up and yelling. You name it he is doing it. Can this be

> other things other than Yeast?

Yes

Dana