Re: Just asking..biggest obstacle?

March 2, 2007

Hi ,

Our daughter is 3 and a half and for us, the biggest obstacle is trying

to get people to understand her and accept her, i.e. teachers,

relatives, etc as she is unique.

Things are looking better for us, so that is great.

March 2, 2007

Even though I'm a bit embarrassed by my answer, I'd have to say the biggest

obstable has been dealing with being out somewhere, whether it's a store,

restaurant, Dr.'s office, friends house or whatever, and being embarrassed by

his behavior because I never know when to really explain what our " issues " are.

I'm never sure if I should just carry an " I don't care what you all think "

attitude or if I should explain what the " issue " is while I'm calmly trying to

reel him in and stop the behavior while everyone is staring at us.

I'm getting all tense just thinking about it right now. Ha haa.

Robin

<cmcintosh5@...> wrote:

Biggest obstacle would be for me so far is financial access to all the

treatment available. Also having the therapies available in all schools ..

Not having my child bussed out of town for access to services. Another

obstacle is perception of " disability " amongst other parents. I hate it

when people say.. He doesn't LOOK autistic.. grrr

Great question!

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-- ( ) Just asking..biggest obstacle?

As a parent or guardian of a child with Aspergers, what would you say

is the most difficult for you or what is your biggest obstacle?

This question is purposely generalized as I want to see what kind of

responses it receives.

Thanks-

March 2, 2007

When Ian was first diagnosed when he was 8yo my biggest obstacle was that our

district

had barely heard of Asperger's. They had absolutely no services for it and

wanted to put

Ian in an ED center because that's what they had available. I knew an ED

placement would

just make things a lot worse, so I wound up home schooling for several years.

Now he's

15 and in high school. The biggest obstacle these days is probably his

executive function

deficit. He just can't problem solve real-life situations as fast or as well as

he should be

able to at his age. He's still very disorganized, which translates into

constant homework

issues. I anticipate that our biggest obstacle, long term, is going to be a

lack of support

for him once he ages out of the school system. He has a high IQ which is

ironically going

to work against him. I think he's going to have a very hard time fitting into

the labor force

and an independent life, and I wish I knew I could count on a lot of outside

help to get him

where he needs to go, but I don't think it's going to be there. I'm going to

have to make it

happen by myself, and that's kind of scary.

Sue C.

>

> As a parent or guardian of a child with Aspergers, what would you say

> is the most difficult for you or what is your biggest obstacle?

>

> This question is purposely generalized as I want to see what kind of

> responses it receives.

>

> Thanks-

>

March 2, 2007

Biggest obstacle would be for me so far is financial access to all the

treatment available. Also having the therapies available in all schools ..

Not having my child bussed out of town for access to services. Another

obstacle is perception of " disability " amongst other parents. I hate it

when people say.. He doesn't LOOK autistic.. grrr

Great question!

for awesome autism gear look HERE!

http://www.cafepress.com/autismawarenes

For Fun Fashion gear look HERE!

http://www.cafepress.com/stronggear

For Fun Animal Activist Gear go HERE!

http://www.cafepress.com/vegetarianrus

and don't forget Ribbons of hope! Show your support

and show your ribbon.

http://www.cafepress.com/ribbonsofhope

-- ( ) Just asking..biggest obstacle?

As a parent or guardian of a child with Aspergers, what would you say

is the most difficult for you or what is your biggest obstacle?

This question is purposely generalized as I want to see what kind of

responses it receives.

Thanks-

March 2, 2007

...

The biggest obstacle for me is having a child with an " invisible

disability " ...he looks like everyone else, so why doesn't he act like everyone

else?

Also, the lack of financial resources to be able to put my son into a social

skills group or to send him to a college with appropriate assistance is another

hurdle. My son also does not drive and does not show interest at this

time...he is now 19, graduated from high school and has finished a radio

broadcas

ting training program and is currently trying to obtain employment at a radio

station. He is not ready to live on his own, so taking a job out of town

will prove problematic ;-) Good luck with your master's program...

Blessings,

Gail

************************************** AOL now offers free

email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at

http://www.aol.com.

March 2, 2007

I think my biggest obstacle is dealing with the meltdowns, sometimes I avoid

going

anywhere without my ds, so he doesn't get upset. I am a single mom and he

doesn't

even like going to his dad's every other weekend.

Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote:

Even though I'm a bit embarrassed by my answer, I'd have to say the

biggest obstable has been dealing with being out somewhere, whether it's a

store, restaurant, Dr.'s office, friends house or whatever, and being

embarrassed by his behavior because I never know when to really explain what our

" issues " are. I'm never sure if I should just carry an " I don't care what you

all think " attitude or if I should explain what the " issue " is while I'm calmly

trying to reel him in and stop the behavior while everyone is staring at us.

I'm getting all tense just thinking about it right now. Ha haa.

Robin

<cmcintosh5@...> wrote:

Biggest obstacle would be for me so far is financial access to all the

treatment available. Also having the therapies available in all schools ..

Not having my child bussed out of town for access to services. Another

obstacle is perception of " disability " amongst other parents. I hate it

when people say.. He doesn't LOOK autistic.. grrr

Great question!

for awesome autism gear look HERE!

http://www.cafepress.com/autismawarenes

For Fun Fashion gear look HERE!

http://www.cafepress.com/stronggear

For Fun Animal Activist Gear go HERE!

http://www.cafepress.com/vegetarianrus

and don't forget Ribbons of hope! Show your support

and show your ribbon.

http://www.cafepress.com/ribbonsofhope

-- ( ) Just asking..biggest obstacle?

As a parent or guardian of a child with Aspergers, what would you say

is the most difficult for you or what is your biggest obstacle?

This question is purposely generalized as I want to see what kind of

responses it receives.

Thanks-

March 2, 2007

My 7 year old son is mild Asperger's, so we have decided not to share his

diagnosis with anyone. So my biggest obstacle is watching him play with other

NT kids and see him struggle. His behaviors are often quirky and it is so

painful for me to see him as the " odd kid " . Watching my son socialize is most

difficult for me.

Liz

Houston

<eupguy16444@...> wrote:

As a parent or guardian of a child with Aspergers, what would you say

is the most difficult for you or what is your biggest obstacle?

This question is purposely generalized as I want to see what kind of

responses it receives.

Thanks-

---------------------------------

Access over 1 million songs - Music Unlimited.

March 2, 2007

,

Welcome to the group. I find the biggest obstacle for me is trying to find

creative ways to handle behavioral issues that come up and to help teach him so

he can function in the everyday world. This group has been very helpful thus

far and I look forward to continuing using the group to help me and hopefully

help them. Second, I have to agree with regarding being embarrassed. I

find that I am very stressed when I have to take my son somewhere. I never know

what he is going to do!!!!

( ) Just asking..biggest obstacle?

As a parent or guardian of a child with Aspergers, what would you say

is the most difficult for you or what is your biggest obstacle?

This question is purposely generalized as I want to see what kind of

responses it receives.

Thanks-

March 2, 2007

When my Asperger oppresses then he escalates then it turns into a full blown

meltdown. What to do & how to stay calm...that's my biggest obstacle & I'm also

adding Patientence.

Like today!

Betty

<eupguy16444@...> wrote:

As a parent or guardian of a child with Aspergers, what would you say

is the most difficult for you or what is your biggest obstacle?

This question is purposely generalized as I want to see what kind of

responses it receives.

Thanks-

---------------------------------

Bored stiff? Loosen up...

Download and play hundreds of games for free on Games.

March 2, 2007

With my 5 year old daughter, the biggest obstacle is controling

myself. Being at my best 100 % of the time is impossible, so when I

get upset due to work or money, I cannot avoid being a part of the

problem. She feeds off of me and can read me like no other. We

downward spiral together. I am always looking for those signs that we

are going off track and try to redirect before she falls into a

meltdown. She is getting better and does respond to my attempts to

calm her. She will say that she does not want to be unhappy and will

accept a hug more often. If I can just get her to hug me than I can

calm her breathing down and this has a great effect on her. But if

she hits me or her brother, I raise my voice unconsciously and then it

is over. Sometimes I feel so immature and beat myself up for being

emotional about it, but then I have to remind myself that there are

few who could do it better. Honesty it is shows like the SuperNanny

that make me feel like a failure. No person could come into our house

and make everything perfect in a few days. That is just tv.

Jen

>

> As a parent or guardian of a child with Aspergers, what would you

say

> is the most difficult for you or what is your biggest obstacle?

>

> This question is purposely generalized as I want to see what kind of

> responses it receives.

>

> Thanks-

>

March 3, 2007

I have the same problem. My biggest problem is watching my daughter

struggle. It breaks my heart. She is 13 & basically has no friends. She

has kids she's " friendly " with, but no real friends. I know how much I rely

on my friends to keep me sane through the day, so I guess I worry about how

she copes. She has learned to ignore the teasing, but I have a harder time.

When I hear kids talking about how strange she is, I just want to throttle

them.

This past week my daughter took part in a play. It's through a small

educational theater, and she has done other things there. This theater

group has been one of the most successful things we've done in the last few

years. They really build the kids self-esteem & are accepting of everyone.

She was glowing after the show on Tuesday night. The cast were hugging each

other & she felt like she fit in. Then during Thursday's show, she had a

costume change, and she couldn't find her costume. It's wasn't where it was

supposed to be. She started to melt down. She sent people all over to look

for it, but I guess she became hysterical. She did manage to calm herself

down & they (other castmates) tried to come up with a new costume for her.

But nothing fit her (which made her feel fat, which she isn't at all), so

she started crying again. Another student went out & did her part without

the costume because Shelby wouldn't/couldn't do that. She was still so

upset she couldn't come out at the end to take the final bow. The staff

handled it well, and I was actually proud of her because she actually

controlled the first meltdown & allowed them to come up with another

solution. But when that didn't work, she couldn't keep it together at all.

And after the show, the other kids were talking about how she rocked when

she was upset & how she had cried & how strange she was. I'm sure they had

already found her a little odd, but once the meltdown happened they knew she

was " different " . All of a sudden, she didn't really belong. That was the

last performance, which made me sad because it ended on such a sad note for

Shelby. As I said before, this had been the most positive thing we'd done

in years. And now she's sad about it. I told her it's a learning

experience, and I hope to get her involved there again.

But the whole experience is just so typical of life with our special kids.

Nothing ever goes completely smoothly. You are always waiting for the

meltdown. You know it's coming. It just a matter of when.

Tara

March 5, 2007

For our family I have this special connection with my son that I seem

to know what he needs when things start feeling off for him but no one

else seems to get him. I have tried over and over to tell them that if

you watch him even just out of the corner of your eye you will see when

he starts having trouble handling things (the bigest thing i see is

hand movement) but all they see is a spoiled 2 yr old that need to

learn control. so I guess I am saying that I have a hard time getting

other family members to accept him for all his quarks and be there for

him through his hard times not just his good times.

March 7, 2007

1st - I would say the most difficult thing to deal with is other people as they

try and deal with my kid's needs. The school, the neighbors, the lady at the

store...I am better at this than I used to be. But it's never easy and I am so

tired of having to always advocate and explain. The years we have had good

teachers, I have just been in tears realizing how nice it is!

2nd - The next hardest part is dealing with the future. I always tell people to

focus on today and not get too strung out on tomorrow's issues...but I do! So I

guess it's my own mantra to myself as well. Now that my older ds is 18 (HFA), I

go between panic and peace about his future. My biggest worry is that my dh and

I will be gone and my boys will live like hermits or be harrassed and not know

how to handle something. I just will feel better if we can get my ds a job to

where he is making a decent living somehow. Whew. If that does not happen,

I'll be back to panic for the rest of my life.

3rd - The next hardest for me has been dealing with the exhaustion. I'm so

tired and stressed. An evening at home is never quiet here. I would like a

quiet evening sometime. This is where I get most jealous of people with NT kids

who tuck into bed by 8. Meanwhile I have hyper man dive bombing off his dresser

at 1 a.m. Wah! Oh yes, and if my 10 yo (hfa) would just not take everything

apart!!!!!! I have nothing that he hasn't worked over. And that is exhausting!

Roxanna

( ) Just asking..biggest obstacle?

As a parent or guardian of a child with Aspergers, what would you say

is the most difficult for you or what is your biggest obstacle?

This question is purposely generalized as I want to see what kind of

responses it receives.

Thanks-

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AM

March 7, 2007

Roxanna said:

Oh yes, and if my 10 yo (hfa) would just not take everything apart!!!!!! I

have nothing that he hasn't worked over. And that is exhausting!

I'm in boo hoo tears over this comment as I can relate so very well! Every

little object in my home is fair game for taking apart! My make-up applicators,

the radio, picture frames, lamps and lamp shades, lamp turn on/off switches,

drawers out of chests, and anything they can get their hands on. I try to keep

a well decorated house so I can have something to enjoy, but it's becoming more

like a used parts store every day!

Liz

Houston

Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote:

1st - I would say the most difficult thing to deal with is other

people as they try and deal with my kid's needs. The school, the neighbors, the

lady at the store...I am better at this than I used to be. But it's never easy

and I am so tired of having to always advocate and explain. The years we have

had good teachers, I have just been in tears realizing how nice it is!

2nd - The next hardest part is dealing with the future. I always tell people to

focus on today and not get too strung out on tomorrow's issues...but I do! So I

guess it's my own mantra to myself as well. Now that my older ds is 18 (HFA), I

go between panic and peace about his future. My biggest worry is that my dh and

I will be gone and my boys will live like hermits or be harrassed and not know

how to handle something. I just will feel better if we can get my ds a job to

where he is making a decent living somehow. Whew. If that does not happen, I'll

be back to panic for the rest of my life.

3rd - The next hardest for me has been dealing with the exhaustion. I'm so tired

and stressed. An evening at home is never quiet here. I would like a quiet

evening sometime. This is where I get most jealous of people with NT kids who

tuck into bed by 8. Meanwhile I have hyper man dive bombing off his dresser at 1

a.m. Wah! Oh yes, and if my 10 yo (hfa) would just not take everything

apart!!!!!! I have nothing that he hasn't worked over. And that is exhausting!

Roxanna

( ) Just asking..biggest obstacle?

As a parent or guardian of a child with Aspergers, what would you say

is the most difficult for you or what is your biggest obstacle?

This question is purposely generalized as I want to see what kind of

responses it receives.

Thanks-

----------------------------------------------------------

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Checked by AVG Free Edition.

Version: 7.5.446 / Virus Database: 268.18.6/709 - Release Date: 3/3/2007 8:12 AM

March 7, 2007

Roxanna,

Does ds 18 have any ideas about what he'll do next year? I share your

anxiety about what the future holds. Lots needs to happen before a

full-time job could be maintained around here.

Liz

On Mar 7, 2007, at 11:41 AM, Roxanna wrote:

> <snip>

>

> 2nd - The next hardest part is dealing with the future. I always

> tell people to focus on today and not get too strung out on

> tomorrow's issues...but I do! So I guess it's my own mantra to

> myself as well. Now that my older ds is 18 (HFA), I go between

> panic and peace about his future. My biggest worry is that my dh

> and I will be gone and my boys will live like hermits or be

> harrassed and not know how to handle something. I just will feel

> better if we can get my ds a job to where he is making a decent

> living somehow. Whew. If that does not happen, I'll be back to

> panic for the rest of my life. <snip>

>

>> .

>

March 8, 2007

Oh Liz, I am so jealous - you have lampshades???

Roxanna

( ) Just asking..biggest obstacle?

As a parent or guardian of a child with Aspergers, what would you say

is the most difficult for you or what is your biggest obstacle?

This question is purposely generalized as I want to see what kind of

responses it receives.

Thanks-

----------------------------------------------------------

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG Free Edition.

Version: 7.5.446 / Virus Database: 268.18.6/709 - Release Date: 3/3/2007 8:12

AM

March 8, 2007

So far, he is going to go to the career center and take classes in computers.

They have a 2 year computer program and at the end, you are supposed to be

microsoft certified or other good things like that. We are still waiting to see

if he got in the program though. He has no second plan at all. And since he is

not good with people, this seems like a hopeful direction. Very soon, we will

have a college satellite built in our town also. So he might be able to go

there depending on how things are going. We are still going to work on driving,

which he can't do. Is driving?