Re: the social thing (was don't cure your child!)

[Guest guest]

Well, as a Spectrum adult the social thing can be hard and confusing.

Here are the avenues that have helped me and that we are teaching our

kids (so far it is working for them too)

- hang out with 'nerd' types. If not spectrum people they are really

close and often make great friends. I work around computers and

science and many of the other women and men in those areas are easier

for me to get along with. Hanging out with others who tend to

do 'shop talk' is good because the subject matter can be the

conversation. This isn't far off from men who constantly talk sports

in social situations.

- my boys have been successful making friends with new kids in class,

foreign students, and other kids who don't fit the popular crowd mold

and might need a friend...

- if there is a social gathering, go early when fewer people are

there. Leave once it gets crowded, or find a really quiet corner to

hang out in with one or two people. You can participate without being

in the middle of the room

- we go to social places like church and sit way in the back on the

side, and wear comfortable clothing (our church has services

dedicated to that)

- fake the eye contact. In this case, it is an NT need and not a

spectrum-person need. Because some NT types have this 'handicap' and

get extremely nervous without eye contact, just try to accomodate

their special needs and look at their forehead, tip of one ear, the

picture on the wall behind them....this usually does the trick and

they don't have a meltdown.

- we go to the mall at the least crowded times; restaurants at 5 pm

before it gets crowded; go to matinee movies and other reduced

traffic times

But I know that many people still struggle with friends a great deal.

It can be very difficult. If others have ideas for friends, we can

make a list and put it in the Files sections.

.