Re: don't cure your child!

December 30, 2004

My thoughts exactly - my 7-year-old son has no friends either, and at some

point I think it's really going to hit him that he has none. His social skills

are forced, unnatural, awkward. His food intolerances are better but still

huge. On the bright side, he is very smart and will be able to function on his

own. But I want it all.

Debbie

n a message dated 12/30/2004 3:22:52 PM Central Standard Time,

anncrow@... writes:

> Hello, I would like to add that those who have autism are probably

> much more lonely with out knowing why or what to do about it... it

> is really sad that my 8 year old does not have any friends ( lots

> and lots of people who care about him of all ages even peers but no

> real friends-)

December 30, 2004

I would look into RDI therapy.

_www.rdiconnect.com_ (http://www.rdiconnect.com)

In a message dated 12/30/2004 5:31:49 PM Eastern Standard Time,

TwoTonks@... writes:

My thoughts exactly - my 7-year-old son has no friends either, and at some

point I think it's really going to hit him that he has none. His social

skills

are forced, unnatural, awkward. His food intolerances are better but still

huge. On the bright side, he is very smart and will be able to function on

his

own. But I want it all.

Debbie

n a message dated 12/30/2004 3:22:52 PM Central Standard Time,

anncrow@... writes:

> Hello, I would like to add that those who have autism are probably

> much more lonely with out knowing why or what to do about it... it

> is really sad that my 8 year old does not have any friends ( lots

> and lots of people who care about him of all ages even peers but no

> real friends-)

December 30, 2004

Laurie,

I can appreciate that when you are dealing with no language, poor potty

training, inability to perform activities of daily living, and/or all the other

things people have mentioned on this thread, you might have the opinion that

your child would be " cured " if he were PDD-NOS or Asperger's.

However, those of us living with children in that part of the spectrum

still have incredible challenges, albeit of a different nature. We live a

different kind of stress but likely not a lesser stress.

Robin

In a message dated 12/30/2004 6:23:34 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

ynot2@... writes:

If my son was like Bill Gates or Albert Einstein I would consider him

" cured " .

Laurie

December 30, 2004

bill gates is autistic?

The best thing you can spend on your children is time.

http://www.nationalautismassociation.org/

Think Autism.

Think Cure.

http://www.mercola.com/

December 30, 2004

All of our children are not " like " them (Bill Gates/Albert Einstein) and without

some intervention are most likely not going to become like them.

I like the word recover better than cure. My child has language delays that have

a major impact on her ability to function in the world. She also has issues that

severely limit her ability to care for herself.

Autism is a spectrum disorder, which means there are degrees of severity. At one

end there may be a Bill Gates, but there are also those who cannot communicate

or do even the simplest things for themselves. And yes, parents want to do all

they can to help their children so they have an opportunity to live a full and

hopefully independent life.

don't cure your child!

This question might be a little strange, but why do you actually want

to " cure " your autistic child?

There are lots of well-known people with autism, like Albert Einstein

and Bill Gates; you don't want your child to become like them?

December 30, 2004

,

Bill Gates likely has Asbergers and I can't say for sure about

Einstein, but obviously the two of them would be considered very

" high-functioning " . The word we used to use for individuals with those

characteristics when I was in school was " quirky " or possibly " nerdy " .

I would give ANYTHING for my child to function like those two people.

My daughter cannot speak, feed herself, is still in diapers, spends

most of her time screaming, spinning, chewing things or dropping

objects in front of her face. She barely responds to the outside

world. Why would I not want to change THAT?????

On Dec 30, 2004, at 12:39 PM, frankyvanhecke wrote:

>

> This question might be a little strange, but why do you actually want

> to " cure " your autistic child?

>

> There are lots of well-known people with autism, like Albert Einstein

> and Bill Gates; you don't want your child to become like them?

>

December 30, 2004

> All of our children are not " like " them (Bill Gates/Albert

Einstein) and without some intervention are most likely not going to

become like them.

> I like the word recover better than cure. My child has language

delays that have a major impact on her ability to function in the

world. She also has issues that severely limit her ability to care

for herself.

> Autism is a spectrum disorder, which means there are degrees of

severity. At one end there may be a Bill Gates, but there are also

those who cannot communicate or do even the simplest things for

themselves. And yes, parents want to do all they can to help their

children so they have an opportunity to live a full and hopefully

independent life.

>

Well said ! I agree with you 100% I think that all that any of

us want is for our children to lead a happy & independent life, &

will do what ever it takes (within reason, of course) to help them

achieve it!

December 30, 2004

Hello, I would like to add that those who have autism are probably

much more lonely with out knowing why or what to do about it... it

is really sad that my 8 year old does not have any friends ( lots

and lots of people who care about him of all ages even peers but no

real friends-) my 2 cents Ann

December 30, 2004

Okay, but these examples are of very high functioning individuals...my son is 8

1/2..mostly non verbal...not yet fully potty trained..and I want more for my

son....of course, I'd like him to turn out like Bill Gates...but you know autism

is a spectrum disorder and it goes from mild to severe...one cannot compare

every child to Bill Gates.

Misty

frankyvanhecke <frankyvanhecke@...> wrote:

This question might be a little strange, but why do you actually want

to " cure " your autistic child?

There are lots of well-known people with autism, like Albert Einstein

and Bill Gates; you don't want your child to become like them?

December 30, 2004

If my son was like Bill Gates or Albert Einstein I would consider him " cured " .

Laurie

>

> This question might be a little strange, but why do you actually want

> to " cure " your autistic child?

>

> There are lots of well-known people with autism, like Albert Einstein

> and Bill Gates; you don't want your child to become like them?

>

December 30, 2004

Robin

I do appreciate that. However, the " standard " that was mentioned in the

original email was specifically Bill Gates and Albert Einstein and I still say

that

if my son was functioning at their level I would be happy.

Nobody's life is perfect and many, many people who are not in the least

affected by asd have challenges and stresses. I don't expect my son's life to

be perfect even if a " cure " was to be found. I just want to be able to die

without the fear that he would be institutionalized for life.

Laurie

>

> Laurie,

>

> I can appreciate that when you are dealing with no language, poor potty

> training, inability to perform activities of daily living, and/or all the

other

> things people have mentioned on this thread, you might have the opinion

that

> your child would be " cured " if he were PDD-NOS or Asperger's.

>

> However, those of us living with children in that part of the spectrum

> still have incredible challenges, albeit of a different nature. We live a

> different kind of stress but likely not a lesser stress.

>

> Robin

>

> In a message dated 12/30/2004 6:23:34 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> ynot2@s... writes:

>

> If my son was like Bill Gates or Albert Einstein I would consider him

> " cured " .

>

> Laurie

>

December 30, 2004

Laurie,

AMEN!

As a parent that does ABA, RDI, RPM and biomedical interventions

because our label was " severe " , the goal isn't recovery...it's

quality of life!

> >

> > Laurie,

> >

> > I can appreciate that when you are dealing with no language,

poor potty

> > training, inability to perform activities of daily living,

and/or all the other

> > things people have mentioned on this thread, you might have the

opinion

> that

> > your child would be " cured " if he were PDD-NOS or Asperger's.

> >

> > However, those of us living with children in that part of the

spectrum

> > still have incredible challenges, albeit of a different

nature. We live a

> > different kind of stress but likely not a lesser stress.

> >

> > Robin

> >

> > In a message dated 12/30/2004 6:23:34 P.M. Eastern Standard

Time,

> > ynot2@s... writes:

> >

> > If my son was like Bill Gates or Albert Einstein I would

consider him

> > " cured " .

> >

> > Laurie

> >

December 30, 2004

Speaking as an adult with Asperger's I can attest to the loneliness. The desire

to have friends but no clue how to make them. I can talk to people very well on

the computer but face-to-face it just isn't successful at all.

It is hard not being able to have people over or not being able to go to

military functions with my husband. I can't wear the clothes necessary for it

and I can't be in a room full of people like that.

I don't want to say I want to cure myself of my kids, but I would love to be

able to help them.

MISSY

SAHM to some special kids!!!

I am who I am because that's who I am

--, 5, Aspergers

All kids are gifted; some just open their

packages earlier than others.

-- Carr

Re: don't cure your child!

Hello, I would like to add that those who have autism are probably

much more lonely with out knowing why or what to do about it... it

is really sad that my 8 year old does not have any friends ( lots

and lots of people who care about him of all ages even peers but no

real friends-) my 2 cents Ann

December 31, 2004

>

> This question might be a little strange, but why do you actually want

> to " cure " your autistic child?

My son's diagnosis is " classic Kanner's autism " . At age 3-1/2, he

assessed as developmentally 0-3 months. This means that he had

absolutely no development for the first 3-1/2 years of his life. The

pedneuro who dx him, told me he would be in an institution [ " and why

don't you put him in there right now and get on with your life " ],

altho if I was " lucky " , he *might* qualify for a group home someday.

I learned that my son was highly toxic in heavy metals, and he had

systemic virus issues. I chelated [removed] the metals and eliminated

the viruses, and as a " side effect " , he no longer qualifies as autistic.

" Autism " is a behavioral diagnosis, not an " underlying cause "

diagnosis. I cured my son's medical issues, and that also eliminated

the behaviors, lack of language and social skills, and all his other

issues. So I did not " cure " his autism, I " cured " his medical issues.

For my son, altho he fully qualified based on the diagnostic criteria,

" autism " was only a partial diagnosis. It should have been " metal

poisoning and systemic virus overload causing autism " .

Now maybe he can be as successful as Bill Gates, it sure beats an

institution.

Dana

December 31, 2004

> Speaking as an adult with Asperger's I can attest to the loneliness.

The desire to have friends but no clue how to make them.

I had this problem until I was about age 30, when I stopped trying to

" fit in " and switched to trying to " not stand out " . Much more

attainable standard. Also, I stopped wanting friends and started

wanting to be alone most of the time. That was also very helpful.

Enzymes and a few supplements have been VERY helpful for me to " not

stand out " , and in certain situations I can almost " fit in " .

's list is VERY good. I did most of those things throughout high

school and college, and they were very helpful.

Dana

December 31, 2004

Dana, I can soooooo relate!! Where is 's list and what enzymes have you

taken that help you not stand out?

MISSY

SAHM to some special kids!!!

I am who I am because that's who I am

--, 5, Aspergers

All kids are gifted; some just open their

packages earlier than others.

-- Carr

Re: don't cure your child!

> Speaking as an adult with Asperger's I can attest to the loneliness.

The desire to have friends but no clue how to make them.

I had this problem until I was about age 30, when I stopped trying to

" fit in " and switched to trying to " not stand out " . Much more

attainable standard. Also, I stopped wanting friends and started

wanting to be alone most of the time. That was also very helpful.

Enzymes and a few supplements have been VERY helpful for me to " not

stand out " , and in certain situations I can almost " fit in " .

's list is VERY good. I did most of those things throughout high

school and college, and they were very helpful.

Dana

January 1, 2005

> Dana, I can soooooo relate!! Where is 's list and what enzymes

have you taken that help you not stand out?

's list

/message/70291

I use Zyme Prime and No-Fenol, plus a few other supplements.

It was not just the enzymes, but also a tremendous amount of work on

my part, plus a few changes of opinion/philosophy.

I was very much NOT happy or accepting of my life before I started

biomedical for myself. I am generally okay and accepting now, but it

is very strange to wonder what *could have been*, if not for my own

regression.

Dana

January 1, 2005

Thanks Dana. I have spent so much time trying to help my kids I haven't even

begun to work on myself. I know I do things that are abby normal and a lot of

them I just do without thinking. There are many times I have to force

myself to be socially correct and I usually mess it up anyways.

I need to look into biomedical therapy for myself.

MISSY

SAHM to some special kids!!!

I am who I am because that's who I am

--, 5, Aspergers

All kids are gifted; some just open their

packages earlier than others.

-- Carr

Re: don't cure your child!

> Dana, I can soooooo relate!! Where is 's list and what enzymes

have you taken that help you not stand out?

's list

/message/70291

I use Zyme Prime and No-Fenol, plus a few other supplements.

It was not just the enzymes, but also a tremendous amount of work on

my part, plus a few changes of opinion/philosophy.

I was very much NOT happy or accepting of my life before I started

biomedical for myself. I am generally okay and accepting now, but it

is very strange to wonder what *could have been*, if not for my own

regression.

Dana

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 2, 2005

Dana,

At what point did you realize what you wanted to do? My son is so content

to be by himself it is very difficult to have him participate in social

situations. He does not have any interests other than his " special " interest

which

is taking drives, seeing how roads connect, where they change names, what

their number is, etc. He will also study the road atlas.

Robin

In a message dated 1/2/2005 10:34:09 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

danasview@... writes:

It is nice that I am a trial attorney. Most people don't expect a

trial attorney to have many social skills LOL

January 2, 2005

>>There are many times I have to force

> myself to be socially correct and I usually mess it up anyways.

Think " eccentric " . Trying to be " socially correct " was a no-win

proposition for me. However, being " a little odd " is achievable with

effort.

It is nice that I am a trial attorney. Most people don't expect a

trial attorney to have many social skills LOL

Dana

January 2, 2005

> At what point did you realize what you wanted to do?

After I obtained my BA, I *thought* I was done with my education.

After a year off, I decided to pursue law school. At the time [little

did I know LOL] I thought that because laws were relatively

straight-forward, it would be a good career for me because, like math,

if you follow the rules, you get the right answer. And UNLIKE math,

it is not quite so abstract [i did well in math until physics, too

abstract for me].

Now I know that the *right* answer to most legal questions is " it depends "

=)

I never thought I wanted to do court work tho, because you never know

what to expect. I wanted to just sit in my office and write contracts

and wills, maybe write appellate briefs [i was good at brief-writing

in school]. However, I did take a trial practice class, " just for

fun " , and I clerked at the Public Defender's office, " just for the

experience " , and I loved it so much that I decided to conquer my fear

of the unknown in court. I found a firm that was willing to work with

me, so now all I do is trials and other court work for other

attorneys. I also learned that most court work " follows the rules " ,

so that is nice. No more office politics for me =)

>>My son is so content

> to be by himself it is very difficult to have him participate in

social

> situations.

Social situations are nasty. It is MUCH preferable to be by myself.

Or join with the other nerds. Learn to play chess, that usually

works. I joined the math team in high school. Also, for sports, I

chose swimming, because altho it is a team sport, it is mostly done

alone [plus I am an uncoordinated dork on land LOL, the family joke is

" mom trips over the larger air molecules " ].

>>He does not have any interests other than his " special " interest which

> is taking drives, seeing how roads connect, where they change

names, what

> their number is, etc. He will also study the road atlas.

So what is wrong with that???? Maps are WONDERFUL!

=)

Niacin/inositol is working well for my #1 in the area of special

interests.

Dana

January 2, 2005

Yes, I agree with this precisely, well put, Dana! All my engineer-geek

friends, who function well enough in society to make a living, drive a car

and remember to do their laundry occasionally, say that my son will do just

fine, and they have engineering jobs for him. I'm still holding out for

girlfriends, too, but I'm ok with eccentric, or very odd, or a little

geeky, which is where we seem to be headed now. To me, this isn't a

conflict with 'curing' him. I think of curing him as helping him to the

point of being self-sufficient, not too vulnerable to predators, enjoy

being with people, and be satisfied with his life, not for him to be like

everyone else. God knows, everyone else in our family is eccentric -- it

would be totally weird if he wasn't!

Terri

At 07:32 AM 1/2/2005, you wrote:

>

> >>There are many times I have to force

> > myself to be socially correct and I usually mess it up anyways.

>

>Think " eccentric " . Trying to be " socially correct " was a no-win

>proposition for me. However, being " a little odd " is achievable with

>effort.

>

>It is nice that I am a trial attorney. Most people don't expect a

>trial attorney to have many social skills LOL

>

>Dana

>

January 2, 2005

Well Put.

>From: Terri Mykland <terri@...>

>Reply-

>

>Subject: Re: Re: don't cure your child!

>Date: Sun, 02 Jan 2005 08:41:41 -0800

>

>Yes, I agree with this precisely, well put, Dana! All my engineer-geek

>friends, who function well enough in society to make a living, drive a car

>and remember to do their laundry occasionally, say that my son will do just

>fine, and they have engineering jobs for him. I'm still holding out for

>girlfriends, too, but I'm ok with eccentric, or very odd, or a little

>geeky, which is where we seem to be headed now. To me, this isn't a

>conflict with 'curing' him. I think of curing him as helping him to the

>point of being self-sufficient, not too vulnerable to predators, enjoy

>being with people, and be satisfied with his life, not for him to be like

>everyone else. God knows, everyone else in our family is eccentric -- it

>would be totally weird if he wasn't!

>

>Terri

>

>At 07:32 AM 1/2/2005, you wrote:

>

> >

> > >>There are many times I have to force

> > > myself to be socially correct and I usually mess it up anyways.

> >

> >Think " eccentric " . Trying to be " socially correct " was a no-win

> >proposition for me. However, being " a little odd " is achievable with

> >effort.

> >

> >It is nice that I am a trial attorney. Most people don't expect a

> >trial attorney to have many social skills LOL

> >

> >Dana

> >

January 3, 2005

Dana,

Can you us inositol with Zoloft?