Fighting Bullying With Babies

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November 8, 2010, 8:10 pm

Fighting Bullying With Babies

By DAVID BORNSTEIN

Imagine there was a cure for meanness. Well, maybe there is.

Lately, the issue of bullying has been in the news, sparked by the suicide of

Tyler Clementi, a gay college student who was a victim of cyber-bullying, and by

a widely circulated New York Times article that focused on “mean girlâ€

bullying in kindergarten. The federal government has identified bullying as a

national problem. In August, it organized the first-ever “Bullying Prevention

Summit,†and it is now rolling out an anti-bullying campaign aimed at 5- to

8-year old children. This past month the Department of Education released a

guidance letter to schools, colleges and universities to take bullying

seriously, or face potential legal consequences.

Stop Bulling Now Campaign The problem of bullying has attracted federal

attention. Above, an excerpt from a cartoon in the government’s bullying

prevention guide for children. To see the entire cartoon, click here. (pdf)

The typical institutional response to bullying is to get tough. In the Tyler

Clementi case, prosecutors are considering bringing hate-crime charges. But

programs like the one I want to discuss today show the potential of augmenting

our innate impulses to care for one another instead of just falling back on

punishment as a deterrent. And what’s the secret formula? A baby.

We know that humans are hardwired to be aggressive and selfish. But a growing

body of research is demonstrating that there is also a biological basis for

human compassion. Brain scans reveal that when we contemplate violence done to

others we activate the same regions in our brains that fire up when mothers gaze

at their children, suggesting that caring for strangers may be instinctual. When

we help others, areas of the brain associated with pleasure also light up.

Research by Felix Warneken and Tomasello indicates that toddlers as

young as 18 months behave altruistically. (If you want to feel good, watch one

of their 15-second video clips here.)

More important, we are beginning to understand how to nurture this biological

potential. It seems that it’s not only possible to make people kinder, it’s

possible to do it systematically at scale – at least with school children.

That’s what one organization based in Toronto called Roots of Empathy has

done.

Around babies, tough kids smile, disruptive kids focus, shy kids open up.

Roots of Empathy was founded in 1996 by Gordon, an educator who had built

Canada’s largest network of school-based parenting and family-literacy centers

after having worked with neglectful and abusive parents. Gordon had found many

of them to be lacking in empathy for their children. They hadn’t developed the

skill because they hadn’t experienced or witnessed it sufficiently themselves.

She envisioned Roots as a seriously proactive parent education program – one

that would begin when the mothers- and fathers-to-be were in kindergarten.

Since then, Roots has worked with more than 12,600 classes across Canada, and in

recent years, the program has expanded to the Isle of Man, the United Kingdom,

New Zealand, and the United States, where it currently operates in Seattle.

Researchers have found that the program increases kindness and acceptance of

others and decreases negative aggression.

Here’s how it works: Roots arranges monthly class visits by a mother and her

baby (who must be between two and four months old at the beginning of the school

year). Each month, for nine months, a trained instructor guides a classroom

using a standard curriculum that involves three 40-minute visits – a

pre-visit, a baby visit, and a post-visit. The program runs from kindergarten to

seventh grade. During the baby visits, the children sit around the baby and

mother (sometimes it’s a father) on a green blanket (which represents new life

and nature) and they try to understand the baby’s feelings. The instructor

helps by labeling them. “It’s a launch pad for them to understand their own

feelings and the feelings of others,†explains Gordon. “It carries over to

the rest of class.â€

I have visited several public schools in low-income neighborhoods in Toronto to

observe Roots of Empathy’s work. What I find most fascinating is how the baby

actually changes the children’s behavior. Teachers have confirmed my

impressions: tough kids smile, disruptive kids focus, shy kids open up. In a

seventh grade class, I found 12-year-olds unabashedly singing nursery rhymes.

The baby seems to act like a heart-softening magnet. No one fully understands

why. Schonert-Reichl, an applied developmental psychologist who is a

professor at the University of British Columbia, has evaluated Roots of Empathy

in four studies. “Do kids become more empathic and understanding? Do they

become less aggressive and kinder to each other? The answer is yes and yes,â€

she explained. “The question is why.â€

C. Sue , a neurobiologist based at the University of Illinois at Chicago,

who has conducted pioneering research into the effects of oxytocin, a hormone

that has been linked with caring and trusting behavior, suspects that biology is

playing a role in the program’s impact. “This may be an oxytocin story,â€

told me. “I believe that being around the baby is somehow putting the

children in a biologically different place. We don’t know what that place is

because we haven’t measured it. However, if it works here as it does in other

animals, we would guess that exposure to an infant would create a physiological

state in which the children would be more social.â€

To parent well, you must try to imagine what your baby is experiencing. So the

kids do a lot of “perspective taking.†When the baby is too small to raise

its own head, for example, the instructor asks the children to lay their heads

on the blanket and look around from there. Perspective taking is the cognitive

dimension of empathy – and like any skill it takes practice to master. (Cable

news hosts, take note.)

Children learn strategies for comforting a crying baby. They learn that one must

never shake a baby. They discover that everyone comes into the world with a

different temperament, including themselves and their classmates. They see how

hard it can be to be a parent, which helps them empathize with their own mothers

and fathers. And they marvel at how capacity develops. Each month, the baby does

something that it couldn’t do during its last visit: roll over, crawl, sit up,

maybe even begin walking. Witnessing the baby’s triumphs – even something as

small as picking up a rattle for the first time — the children will often

cheer.

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Ervin Staub, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of

Massachusetts, has studied altruism in children and found that the best way to

create a caring climate is to engage children collectively in an activity that

benefits another human being. In Roots, children are enlisted in each class to

do something to care for the baby, whether it is to sing a song, speak in a

gentle voice, or make a “wishing tree.â€

The results can be dramatic. In a study of first- to third-grade classrooms,

Schonert-Reichl focused on the subset of kids who exhibited “proactive

aggression†– the deliberate and cold-blooded aggression of bullies who prey

on vulnerable kids. Of those who participated in the Roots program, 88 percent

decreased this form of behavior over the school year, while in the control

group, only 9 percent did, and many actually increased it. Schonert-Reichl has

reproduced these findings with fourth to seventh grade children in a randomized

controlled trial. She also found that Roots produced significant drops in

“relational aggression†– things like gossiping, excluding others, and

backstabbing. Research also found a sharp increase in children’s parenting

knowledge.

“Empathy can’t be taught, but it can be caught,†Gordon often says – and

not just by children. “Programmatically my biggest surprise was that not only

did empathy increase in children, but it increased in their teachers,†she

added. “And that, to me, was glorious, because teachers hold such sway over

children.â€

When the program was implemented on a large scale across the province of

Manitoba – it’s now in 300 classrooms there — it achieved an “effect

size†that Rob Santos, the scientific director of Healthy Child Manitoba, said

translates to reducing the proportion of students who get into fights from 15

percent to 8 percent, close to a 50 percent reduction. “For a program that

costs only hundreds of dollars per child, the cost-benefit of preventing later

problems that cost thousands of dollars per child, is obvious,†said Santos.

Follow up studies have found that outcomes are maintained or enhanced three

years after the program ends. “When you’ve got emotion and cognition

happening at the same time, that’s deep learning,†explains Gordon.

“That’s learning that will last.â€

It’s hard to envision what a kinder and gentler world, or school, would truly

look like. But Gordon told me a story about a seventh grade student in a tough

school in Toronto that offered a glimpse. He was an effeminate boy from an

immigrant background who was always the butt of jokes. “Anytime he spoke,

you’d hear snickers in the background,†she recalled. Towards the end of the

year, the children in Roots are asked to write a poem or a song for the baby.

Kids often work in groups and come up with raps. This boy decided to sing a song

he’d written himself about mothers.

“He was overweight and nerdy looking. His social skills were not very good,â€

Gordon recalled. “And he sang his song. The risk he took. My breath was in my

fist, hoping that no one would humiliate him. And no one did. Not one youngster

smirked. When he finished, they clapped. And I’m sure they all knew that they

were holding back. But, oh my God, I was blown away. I couldn’t say

anything.â€

She added: “When they talk about protecting kids in schools, they talk about

gun shields, cameras, lights, but never about the internal environment. But safe

is not about the rules – it’s about how the youngsters feel inside.â€

Have you seen or do you have ideas about effective ways to diminish bullying in

school and elsewhere? We’ll discuss them in Saturday’s follow up – and

also look at a critical step that teachers can take to make their classrooms

more peaceful.

Bornstein is the author of “How to Change the World,†which has been

published in 20 languages, and “The Price of a Dream: The Story of the Grameen

Bank,†and is co-author of “Social Entrepreneurship: What Everyone Needs to

Know.†He is the founder of dowser.org, a media site that reports on social

innovation.