Re: CROSSPOST: Unbelievable story -- Teacher emoti...

[Guest guest]

Yes, , I understand this.

HOWEVER-- the child didn't even have a diagnosis until AFTER the situation

occurred.

The **PARENT** is the one who is primarily responsibly for this child's

general health, care and well-being. It's obvious that she has not done her job

if she's just NOW getting a diagnosis-- especially since the child was already

removed out of one school system. (that's something that's not all that easy

to have happen, either! So you KNOW there were signs of problems prior to

this child even being in the school district that he was in when all this

happened recently)

The appropriate education HAS to be guided by the parents-- since really,

that is the job of every parent, in my opinion.

I realize that as a home schooler, my opinion as to WHOSE responsibility it

really is to make sure that the child has that education may differ from

others here. In the end result though, the PARENT is responsible for this child

from the beginning til they are an adult and out of their home.

If the child's not getting an appropriate education, it's not always the

fault of the school system, but rather, rests with the parent for making SURE

that the child's needs and rights are met

jmho

becky

In a message dated 6/3/2008 11:53:46 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

elmccann@... writes:

Appropriate in this case would probably mean at least an aide in the

general ed classroom along with a good behavior program. Just

dumping him in a mainstream classroom is not appropriate. A special

ed classroom may be appropriate if the various supports were

unsuccessful in the general ed classroom.

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[Guest guest]

Really? So the NURSE would have to deal with his disruptive behavior?

See-- I just SO disagree with this idea in general.

If the child is THAT disruptive, the parents need to take control of the

situation and make sure that he's in an environment that is right for him.

I can't imagine being that nurse who would have to literally babysit that

child all day while she's also trying to take care of sickly children in her

office, administer daily medications to the kids necessary, and filling out

paperwork etc.

Of COURSE the teacher handled it incorrectly- no one is arguing that point.

BUT-- there are always circumstances that surround these situations that *WE

ALL* will never know or never hear about. So, the best thing is to just have

some mercy for the teacher, and students and parents involved.

Becky

In a message dated 6/3/2008 8:43:50 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

lizlaw@... writes:

Sending the kid to the nurses office everyday would have been better

than having the child voted off.

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[Guest guest]

I know the child is entitled to be in a regular classroom, but I was just

saying maybe it was too stressful for him and that is why he was acting the

way he was. Just a thought.

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[Guest guest]

With myself being the exception-- I would like them to be safe and happy

here at our HOME School!!!

:::::::::::::::giggling and waddling as fast as my over due body can take

me:::::::::::::::::::::

sorry-- just had to lighten the mood a bit

Becky

In a message dated 6/4/2008 7:48:40 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

lulusmom98@... writes:

I think that most of us can see

both sides, as we all have children with different needs. But we are

all parents who want our children to be safe and happy in school.

**************Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch " Cooking with

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[Guest guest]

I live in Northern NJ where there is a decent amount of " Experts " who would

be able to diagnose Autism Spectrum issues-- etc. HOWEVER-- there is a high

amount of children in the area who are in need of this care, so it's still an

issue to be able to get into a specialist to get a diagnoses.

I want to clarify something here-- because I am not placing " blame " on the

mother. I feel that ALL parties are " to blame " here. EVERYONE handles things

improperly, in my opinion-- starting with the mother, then the administration

and the teacher.

I want to clarify that I am telling you that no matter who is to " BLAME " in

a situation, the ULTIMATE RESPONSIBILITY FOR A CHILD'S GENERAL HEALTH,

CARE AND WELL BEING is the PARENT!

I'm not yelling this statement, but using caps to have clarification,

because it seems as though some might assume that I am putting blame on the

mother

only.

This has nothing to do with blame, but has everything to do with a parent

taking the God-given responsibility to make sure their child is healthy, safe,

and happy. Whether that be in a private, public or home school environment,

the parents are the ones who choose to have the child, so therefore bear that

ultimate responsibility. It's obvious from what's been said by the mother

herself-- and all those surrounding the situation, that the child isn't doing

well and wasn't happy, and that it seems that it indeed has been going on for a

long enough time to have made changes.

ALL were " to blame " and ALL adults in this situation have been in error--

but I will ALWAYS say that it's a parents responsibility to take care of it in

the end result-- they are the ones by law who are to take care of the child,

unless, of course, they have relinquished their parental rights over to the

state, where the STATE would then become the responsible party.

Becky

In a message dated 6/4/2008 8:08:28 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

elmccann@... writes:

don't know where you live, but around here it takes 18-24 months to

get an appt with any doctor who specializes in autism. Do you know

how long this mom waited for an appt? Do you know if she took her

child to her pediatrician who told her don't worry, it's a stage or

you need to discipline him more (blaming her). Do you know if his

problem behaviors existed to this extent at home or are they more

prevalent in the classroom because they are primarily sensory

related? Do you know when the school communicated the problems to

the mom? There are too many questions for me to put any blame on the

mother for not getting a diagnosis quickly enough. This is not a

topic in any of the autism groups I belong to (in fact, this is the

only group I know of that is blaming the mom

**************Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch " Cooking with

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[Guest guest]

I have been reading the comments back and forth and it is pretty clear

that everyone has clear opinions. I think that most of us can see

both sides, as we all have children with different needs. But we are

all parents who want our children to be safe and happy in school.

But, to put my two cents in, the teacher is teaching with the

assumption that he is a typical learner with behavioral issues.

Without a diagnosis or IEP he can't be placed in a different class or

have an aide with him (some districts will provide one without iep.)

First, there must be a diagnosis- and I also have frustration as some

of you have shared- I have appointments that are 3-4 months away and

that includes dr.'s with no insurance accepted. I ahve searched for

info, and dr.'s for months now and it isn't easy. Also- Asperger's is

not simply " a high functioning autism " it is on the spectrum, but I

think (and I could be wrong) that it is it's own disability with the

main components being very inteeligent and bright combined with lack

of social understanding. s0, does this child have autism, aspergers,

or a behavioral disorder or other emotional disability? It could be

many things. I can see how the mom would hold off if it was a

behaviorla problem- which can be organic or chemical- becasue it is

harder to see when they are babies. I think that we need to let the

dust settle and see what happens. What I find most interesting is

when the person writing the report (behavioral officer?) came into the

room, the child simply got up and came with him. He was clearly calm

enough to listem and get up and go with this man who he only knew

briefly. This is the most interesting point to me. Is it pointing to

a behavioral issue over the autism? Any ideas out there?

[Guest guest]

I don't know where you live, but around here it takes 18-24 months to

get an appt with any doctor who specializes in autism. Do you know

how long this mom waited for an appt? Do you know if she took her

child to her pediatrician who told her don't worry, it's a stage or

you need to discipline him more (blaming her). Do you know if his

problem behaviors existed to this extent at home or are they more

prevalent in the classroom because they are primarily sensory

related? Do you know when the school communicated the problems to

the mom? There are too many questions for me to put any blame on the

mother for not getting a diagnosis quickly enough. This is not a

topic in any of the autism groups I belong to (in fact, this is the

only group I know of that is blaming the mom)- probably because they

have, to some extent, walked in this woman's shoes. Doctor's

reassuring parents that there is nothing wrong with their child is a

familiar theme in these groups which is often the reason for a

delayed diagnosis.

>

> Yes, , I understand this.

> HOWEVER-- the child didn't even have a diagnosis until AFTER the

situation

> occurred.

> The **PARENT** is the one who is primarily responsibly for this

child's

> general health, care and well-being. It's obvious that she has not

done her job

> if she's just NOW getting a diagnosis-- especially since the child

was already

> removed out of one school system. (that's something that's not all

that easy

> to have happen, either! So you KNOW there were signs of problems

prior to

> this child even being in the school district that he was in when

all this

> happened recently)

> The appropriate education HAS to be guided by the parents-- since

really,

> that is the job of every parent, in my opinion.

> I realize that as a home schooler, my opinion as to WHOSE

responsibility it

> really is to make sure that the child has that education may differ

from

> others here. In the end result though, the PARENT is responsible

for this child

> from the beginning til they are an adult and out of their home.

> If the child's not getting an appropriate education, it's not

always the

> fault of the school system, but rather, rests with the parent for

making SURE

> that the child's needs and rights are met

>

> jmho

>

> becky

>

>

> In a message dated 6/3/2008 11:53:46 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> elmccann@... writes:

>

> Appropriate in this case would probably mean at least an aide in

the

> general ed classroom along with a good behavior program. Just

> dumping him in a mainstream classroom is not appropriate. A

special

> ed classroom may be appropriate if the various supports were

> unsuccessful in the general ed classroom.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> **************Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch " Cooking

with

> Tyler Florence " on AOL Food.

> (http://food.aol.com/tyler-florence?video=4?

& NCID=aolfod00030000000002)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My boys have a child with asperger's syndrome in their school and he

is awesome -a really cool kid. No speech issue at all -his issue is

all social. Everyone accepts him as he is and it appears it's more

his choice then anyone else's that he doesn't really hang out with

the other kids much as he prefers to be around the adults. At a

Halloween party this past year for example -he was invited but

instead of hanging with all the rest of the kids (5th to 9th grade in

age) he stayed in the room with us -the adults as he is very close

with his mom. He asked if he can watch the TV news as he LOVES the

news. He has one of those photographic memories that once he hears

something -or watches it -he remembers every detail -it's amazing.

And he's working on blending and appears to be aware of his social

differences. At a class trip we just went on to Orlando he was

sitting next to me and he started to cry. I asked him if he was OK

and he shook his head yes and said " I'm OK " and I asked him " Do you

miss your mom? " and he nodded his head yes. So I then asked

him " It's OK ___ we'll be going home soon. Do you want me to get

Miss ___ for you? " and he said yes. Just yesterday I had to drive

for the graduation and he was one of the 6 kids in my car -he's just

a pleasure to be around. He's just doing amazing and if you didn't

know the signs to look for most people in the public would not look

at him and know he's on the spectrum at all.

I know you say asperger's syndrome is different than autism. I know

this one child with asperger's syndrome very well and In NJ I knew

many kids that had mild autism, most with apraxia but some without -

and one with severe autism and the two almost appear to be different

conditions don't you think?

Back to the child that was just diagnosed (after the incident)

with " some sort of autism probably asperger's syndrome " I know some

that know him in real life no way think he's autistic -just out of

control and the mother does " nothing at all to even try to stop him "

Yes I have examples but won't share as I'm sure more will come out.

And again I don't agree in the vote thing -but the world wide hatred

against this teacher who appears to be very loved and respected and

who spent 12 years of her life dedicating it to children (who

probably made a mistake) and the assumption that the child is

autistic -the lack of questions to the mother and school - and the

way the headlines were twisted to make this teacher out to be

a " monster " are all just a bit disgusting if you want to talk

disgusting. Mob mentality.

I found this point on a blog and thought it interesting as well.

" I do question the validity of 's `testimony'. One of the things

with autism and social spectrum disorders is that they cannot act

appropriatly in social situations. I am curious of the severity of

his disorder. I find it hard to believe that a truly autistic child,

in kindergarten, can answer these types of questions in an unfamiliar

setting, with unfamiliar people asking these question without

prompts. I haven't met a child with autism even close to 's age,

that would have clearly linked that kids voting out of his class

would make him " sad " . I think that there should be much more

consideration about the way in which this story is skewed. "

From Teachers from Hell (

http://www.momlogic.com/2008/05/autistic_child_kicked_out_of_k.php

I know many that do love this teacher. Hope all get to hear all

sides soon.

=====

[Guest guest]

Don't you think that would have been mentioned in one of the 1000 TV

or print news interviews that she had to wait 18 to 24 months

for an appointment? Perhaps you missed the one where this mother

said the reason her son didn't have a diagnosis was because she lives

on the Treasure Coast of Florida and " there are no neurologists on

the Treasure Coast " Wonder what the neurologists on the Treasure

Coast from Jupiter to Vero have to say about that?!

Certainly when he was kicked out of the first school system one would

think it's time to get an evaluation -again even if you had to drive

across state or fly. Just pretend it's for CNN if you have to.

====

[Guest guest]

I've never heard of it taking that long to see a neuro. I have KNOWN it to take

that long to get a proper placement through many IEP meetings.

From: kiddietalk & lt;kiddietalk@... & gt;

Subject: [ ] Re: CROSSPOST: Unbelievable story -- Teacher

emoti...

Date: Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 8:16 PM

Don't you think that would have been mentioned in one of the 1000 TV

or print news interviews that she had to wait 18 to 24 months

for an appointment? Perhaps you missed the one where this mother

said the reason her son didn't have a diagnosis was because she lives

on the Treasure Coast of Florida and " there are no neurologists on

the Treasure Coast " Wonder what the neurologists on the Treasure

Coast from Jupiter to Vero have to say about that?!

Certainly when he was kicked out of the first school system one would

think it's time to get an evaluation -again even if you had to drive

across state or fly. Just pretend it's for CNN if you have to.

====

[Guest guest]

Just wanted to also address this point :

" This is not a topic in any of the autism groups I belong to (in

fact, this is the only group I know of that is blaming the mom)-

probably because they have, to some extent, walked in this woman's

shoes. "

As one who just saw the Sex in the City movie last girl's night -

exactly what shoes are you talking about? This probably has nothing

to do with autism. And with autism, apraxia, and many other types

of communication impairments in this group most here do seek private

evaluations before 6. Most parents here have children diagnosed both

private and through EI (early intervention and in many cases between

birth and 3) and most seek second opinions as well. Some do get a

diagnosis later when the severity isn't so extreme. I don't know as

much about parents of children with severe behavioral issues.

I believe this is the only group raising another side because it's

probably the only group that has a list owner that knows one of the

children from the class and lives a town away from that school and

has heard things that the media isn't able to share yet.

This is probably the only group that points out that while

the " monster " teacher is hated world wide and her life and career are

probably ruined forever - the child is assumed to be autistic due to

a diagnosis a week after the event and the mother is assumed to be a

spokesperson for autism no matter what bizarre things she says like

blaming this situation on al Qaeda and saying there are no

neurologists on the Treasure Coast. If you are going to just stick

up for her because she's in your club now since she has a child diagnosed

with autism then I'm in that club too since Tanner was also diagnosed

as autistic by a psychologist in this area of Florida. Probably even

more in the club since -who knows - it's possible we both saw the

same psychologist in the Palm Beach area!

(we can still be 'in' with a misdiagnosis right?)

And speaking of this area because most don't know it: Someone here

even just said that they believed the mother " moved her child to a

better school " I've heard from 2 sources now -a St Lucie County

teacher and a parent from the class that this child was " expelled

from the County School System " or " kicked out of another

school " Outside of I don't know how severe the issue needs to be- how

unwilling the parent is to consent to evaluations or whatever does it

take to have a child expelled from kindergarten (!) -anyone that lives

in this area knows NO WAY would a parent move willingly from

County to St Lucie County to get their child into a better school.

Outside of Lincoln Park Academy, County is known to have some

of the best schools in the state.

In reality whether the child is autistic or not -voting a child out

of class wasn't a good idea. The teacher claims she was trying to

help this child by giving him the perspective from the other

students -but she could have not tried to help him and school would

have been out in 3 weeks later (it's out tomorrow) and this child

would have been out of her class. And speaking of bad ideas - again

why did the mother wait until after the event (and probably after a

trip to the attorney) to seek an evaluation? So to answer your

question: How long does it take to get a psychological exam on the

Treasure Coast? ....about 7 days?

So there are many questions and not just did the child act up due to

sensory issues! Who here has a child that 'doesn't' have sensory

issues?!

Also in my opinion every child, even one with a disability, even one

with " sensory issues " has the ability to be taught right from wrong

in some way. At least try! That again was supposedly what the

teacher was trying to do. Sure it was probably wrong but not getting

help for your child is wrong too isn't it? Don't assume that a 5 year

old is not capable of controlling any of his actions. Even if he

can't -don't say he's not capable right in front of him on various TV

interviews. Like voting a child out of class, and not seeking

private evaluations for your 5 year old with severe behavioral

problems -talking about your child right in front of him right on

national TV to tell the world what's wrong with your child -as if

he isn't right there and for the whole world to hear

-that's " probably " wrong too.

=====

[Guest guest]

Kids with apraxia are missing a huge milestone at an early age

(speech). Many kids with Asperger's do not have an issue with speech

(maybe pragmatics which will be discovered at a later age). I don't

think it's fair to compare the age of diagnosis for 2 different

diagnoses.

The one report I saw that discussed her private evaluation stated

that this evaluation started in February - long before this

incident.

Unfortunately, it sounds like a classmate's parent has decided to

become an armchair psychologist. Since my participating in this

discussion is encouraging what I consider to be unfair comments about

a woman no one on this list knows, I will drop the subject.

>

> Just wanted to also address this point :

> " This is not a topic in any of the autism groups I belong to (in

> fact, this is the only group I know of that is blaming the mom)-

> probably because they have, to some extent, walked in this woman's

> shoes. "

>

> As one who just saw the Sex in the City movie last girl's night -

> exactly what shoes are you talking about? This probably has nothing

> to do with autism. And with autism, apraxia, and many other types

> of communication impairments in this group most here do seek private

> evaluations before 6. Most parents here have children diagnosed

both

> private and through EI (early intervention and in many cases between

> birth and 3) and most seek second opinions as well. Some do get a

> diagnosis later when the severity isn't so extreme. I don't know as

> much about parents of children with severe behavioral issues.

>

> I believe this is the only group raising another side because it's

> probably the only group that has a list owner that knows one of the

> children from the class and lives a town away from that school and

> has heard things that the media isn't able to share yet.

>

> This is probably the only group that points out that while

> the " monster " teacher is hated world wide and her life and career

are

> probably ruined forever - the child is assumed to be autistic due to

> a diagnosis a week after the event and the mother is assumed to be a

> spokesperson for autism no matter what bizarre things she says like

> blaming this situation on al Qaeda and saying there are no

> neurologists on the Treasure Coast. If you are going to just stick

> up for her because she's in your club now since she has a child

diagnosed

> with autism then I'm in that club too since Tanner was also

diagnosed

> as autistic by a psychologist in this area of Florida. Probably

even

> more in the club since -who knows - it's possible we both saw the

> same psychologist in the Palm Beach area!

> (we can still be 'in' with a misdiagnosis right?)

>

> And speaking of this area because most don't know it: Someone here

> even just said that they believed the mother " moved her child to a

> better school " I've heard from 2 sources now -a St Lucie County

> teacher and a parent from the class that this child was " expelled

> from the County School System " or " kicked out of another

> school " Outside of I don't know how severe the issue needs to be-

how

> unwilling the parent is to consent to evaluations or whatever does

it

> take to have a child expelled from kindergarten (!) -anyone that

lives

> in this area knows NO WAY would a parent move willingly from

> County to St Lucie County to get their child into a better school.

> Outside of Lincoln Park Academy, County is known to have some

> of the best schools in the state.

>

> In reality whether the child is autistic or not -voting a child out

> of class wasn't a good idea. The teacher claims she was trying to

> help this child by giving him the perspective from the other

> students -but she could have not tried to help him and school would

> have been out in 3 weeks later (it's out tomorrow) and this child

> would have been out of her class. And speaking of bad ideas - again

> why did the mother wait until after the event (and probably after a

> trip to the attorney) to seek an evaluation? So to answer your

> question: How long does it take to get a psychological exam on the

> Treasure Coast? ....about 7 days?

>

> So there are many questions and not just did the child act up due to

> sensory issues! Who here has a child that 'doesn't' have sensory

> issues?!

>

> Also in my opinion every child, even one with a disability, even one

> with " sensory issues " has the ability to be taught right from wrong

> in some way. At least try! That again was supposedly what the

> teacher was trying to do. Sure it was probably wrong but not

getting

> help for your child is wrong too isn't it? Don't assume that a 5

year

> old is not capable of controlling any of his actions. Even if he

> can't -don't say he's not capable right in front of him on various

TV

> interviews. Like voting a child out of class, and not seeking

> private evaluations for your 5 year old with severe behavioral

> problems -talking about your child right in front of him right on

> national TV to tell the world what's wrong with your child -as if

> he isn't right there and for the whole world to hear

> -that's " probably " wrong too.

>

>

> =====

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with Janice. Although the situation is really an eye opener how

our children with apraxia, or autism, or whatever are misunderstood. I

have learned from this story to make sure our child's educator is

informed about our child's condition. I don't really defend what the

teacher did, but I know it was out of ignorance. Some say that all

kindergarten teachers should be trained in identifying children with

possible developmental disabilities. It is sometimes difficult for

parents to see what others see, especially an educator that has so much

experience with children.

At any rate, it is a story to learn that we really need to be educating

people about our kids. Honestly, the numbers are growing at an epidemic

rate. It will take time for our educators and the general public to

understand how to deal with and understand our kids. However the

/*aleged*/ actions of the teacher was inappropriate to use with *ANY*

child. Whether the child has a developmental disability is really a NON

issue. Again, I want to state the " aleged " behaviour.

Janice wrote:

> I think that we are persecuting the parent for what was 'obviously'

inappropriate actions of a teacher. It doesn't matter what the parent did or

did not do, the way this child was handled in the classroom was inappropriate.

If the teacher did not know how to handle the student, she should have requested

help rather then humiliate him.

>

> My son has been humiliate by many elementary teachers. It was a rough time of

life for him. It should NEVER have happened.... NEVER! Under NO circumstance

is this accaptable. I cannot believing that we are trying to find a way to make

it okay to publicly humiliate a child.... ANY CHILD.

>

> I don't care what the history is or what the teachers reputation is. In this

instant, she mishandled the situation. Period.

>

> Janice

[Guest guest]

I think that we are persecuting the parent for what was 'obviously'

inappropriate actions of a teacher. It doesn't matter what the parent did or

did not do, the way this child was handled in the classroom was inappropriate.

If the teacher did not know how to handle the student, she should have requested

help rather then humiliate him.

My son has been humiliate by many elementary teachers. It was a rough time of

life for him. It should NEVER have happened.... NEVER! Under NO circumstance

is this accaptable. I cannot believing that we are trying to find a way to make

it okay to publicly humiliate a child.... ANY CHILD.

I don't care what the history is or what the teachers reputation is. In this

instant, she mishandled the situation. Period.

Janice

[sPAM][ ] Re: CROSSPOST: Unbelievable story --

Teacher emoti...

Don't you think that would have been mentioned in one of the 1000 TV

or print news interviews that she had to wait 18 to 24 months

for an appointment? Perhaps you missed the one where this mother

said the reason her son didn't have a diagnosis was because she lives

on the Treasure Coast of Florida and " there are no neurologists on

the Treasure Coast " Wonder what the neurologists on the Treasure

Coast from Jupiter to Vero have to say about that?!

Certainly when he was kicked out of the first school system one would

think it's time to get an evaluation -again even if you had to drive

across state or fly. Just pretend it's for CNN if you have to.

====

[Guest guest]

It depends on the doc. The wait to see Dr. Agin was 6 mos when I

called. She then stopped seeing patients. The wait for the

neurologist we saw was minimal but she knew nothing of speech delays

and told us our son was fine. He was young then and his problems

unraveled more after that. The wait for our current NDP has been over

a year. If it is true that the child was suspected of Aspergers the

mother actually was within the right timeframe regardless of Dr.

waiting. There is likely more to this story. is local and so

often the media distorts things. I lived and worked near the Kanka

family when Kanka was raped and murdered by a sex offender

neighbor. Prior to that happening nearly everyone knew that guy lived

there and his deal. Mrs. Kanka would have had to have lived under a

rock to not have known. With that said a lot more awareness of more

subtle sex offenders living, working and interacting with kids has

come about because of her work. But a lot of 19 year olds dating 16

year olds whose dads do not like them have been punished as well.

Things are not always what they seem. I still do not think, if the

vote off occurred, it should have happened, regardless of the status

of the child involved. I am also surprised as so much goes the other

way...sporting events with no scoring, blah, blah, blah.

>

> I've never heard of it taking that long to see a neuro. I have

KNOWN it to take that long to get a proper placement through many IEP

meetings.

> & gt; I don't know where you live, but around here it takes 18-24

months

> to

> & gt; get an appt with any doctor who specializes in autism.

[Guest guest]

Nobody here that I know of said it's OK to publicly humiliate any

child. In fact I believe I've said for whatever reason the teacher

did what she did the whole vote thing was probably a bad idea. We

all find blame for what the teacher did to some degree -we all agree

on that. The disagreements are mainly based toward the comments like

yours that it doesn't matter what the mother did. It absolutely does

matter. And yes we too had our share of ignorant teachers -check the

archives for my stories as there have been a few. What about the

preschool teacher that told me that she let Tanner sit on the floor

all day and cry and told all the other professionals to ignore him

because she wanted to prove to me " just how manipulative " he was?!

When all the children did OT and had a special snack of a bagel right

in front of him while he cried? When he couldn't even say " ma " his

only word without sounding like a frog as his voice was so hoarse and

his eyes were swollen and red from crying for so long when I picked

him up? What about when I saw her on one of the first days of

preschool try to get Tanner to say " Hello Mrs. Weitzman " in front of

the class and she kept patting his face and pushing his head up

saying " Come on big boy -you can say it! " because she was so

convinced that Tanner could talk and was just being manipulative.

What did I do? I took my child who was already diagnosed by various

SLPs and a neurodevelopmental pediatrician (Dr. Agin) to another

pediatric neurologist for an emergency appointment to let him know

what happened so that he could help me advocate for Tanner (in

addition to all the ammo I already had) And you know what -I won't

let anyone know this teacher's name and never will and even when I

got Tanner into out of district placement because of her

inappropriate actions -I said about her " It's clear that she's a

teacher that loves the children and didn't do what she was doing to

intentionally hurt my child. It's clear that she is ignorant to my

son's disability and it's not appropriate for me as a parent to try

to tell her how to do her job " I would NEVER had said what I did in

front of Tanner! Tanner was never in the room when I talked about

his problems as I didn't want him to hear what's " wrong " with him!

And yes we had two mean teachers too -one for Dakota and one for

Tanner -so I know there is a difference. That is why I want to

withhold judgment to see if her inappropriate decision of the vote

was due to being mean or ignorant. Perhaps to you there is no

difference to me there is. I can tell you that there are many

professionals ignorant about these conditions here where we are because

there are not that many children with them. And I can also tell you

that a diagnosis of autism here doesn't hold much water for me since

like I said one psychologist diagnosed Tanner with some type of

autism and ADHD when he was in the 3rd grade after meeting with him

one time.

And it's not OK to humiliate a child and nobody here that I know of

said it was. So since public (or private) humiliation is wrong -

what's worse -the vote aside -to have your classmates tell you what

actions you do that they don't like in your classroom -or to have

your mother say that you do things wrong and have no control over it

due to your disability right in front of you on National TV including

the CBS Early Show to be You Tube-able for the rest of your life?

I know which I would have chosen as that child and I know what I

would have done as his mother. When we were interviewed on any news

segment to have conversations 'about' Tanner -he was NOT around for

that part! And another point I don't agree on -it DOES matter what

the parents do. That's IMO part of the problem we have in the world

today everyone expects everyone else to do everything for our

children and some things can't be done by others. Our children are

OUR responsibility and again a neurologist doesn't work in a school.

I know says that a psychologist alone can diagnose -but clearly

there are flaws on depending on just that -and I know she says that

it's more the norm for some that have verbal autistic children to not

be diagnosed until later. Jeanne Buesser's one son Josh is verbal

and autistic and diagnosed early -and her son Adam who is apraxic and

ADHD has been suspected of some type of autism as well. But who here

with an apraxic child hasn't had their child suspected by someone at

some point!

=====

[Guest guest]

By the way -the preschool teacher's name was not Mrs. Weitzman )

=====

[Guest guest]

My son belongs to a playgroup that meets several times a week in the park.

We've been with them for a year, so we've been able to form relationships with

the same kids. I've seen them grow through their different developmental

stages. Currently there are seven boys in our group.....five of them are

currently identified as having special needs. This truly is an epidemic, and

our whole educational system will need to adjust accordingly. I agree with

, start talking to these teachers.....

@...: cnickerson37@...: Thu, 5

Jun 2008 10:03:47 -0400Subject: Re: [ ] Re: CROSSPOST:

Unbelievable story -- Teacher emoti...

I agree with Janice. Although the situation is really an eye opener how our

children with apraxia, or autism, or whatever are misunderstood. I have learned

from this story to make sure our child's educator is informed about our child's

condition. I don't really defend what the teacher did, but I know it was out of

ignorance. Some say that all kindergarten teachers should be trained in

identifying children with possible developmental disabilities. It is sometimes

difficult for parents to see what others see, especially an educator that has so

much experience with children. At any rate, it is a story to learn that we

really need to be educating people about our kids. Honestly, the numbers are

growing at an epidemic rate. It will take time for our educators and the general

public to understand how to deal with and understand our kids. However the

/*aleged*/ actions of the teacher was inappropriate to use with *ANY* child.

Whether the child has a developmental disability is really a NON issue. Again, I

want to state the " aleged " behaviour.

[Guest guest]

I know as parents we can sometimes be in denial with the differences

in our own child. Even though for me, I believe I had the " mother's

instinct " when everyone else just thought my son was a late talker.

Maybe it should've been a clue to this mother, when her son was

allegedly " expelled " from an entire school district after only the

first few months of kindergarten. As reported, he didn't begin in

the new school district until this past January.

Kate

" I am my child's mother "

-Dr

> > I think that we are persecuting the parent for what

was 'obviously' inappropriate actions of a teacher. It doesn't

matter what the parent did or did not do, the way this child was

handled in the classroom was inappropriate. If the teacher did not

know how to handle the student, she should have requested help rather

then humiliate him.

> >

> > My son has been humiliate by many elementary teachers. It was a

rough time of life for him. It should NEVER have happened....

NEVER! Under NO circumstance is this accaptable. I cannot believing

that we are trying to find a way to make it okay to publicly

humiliate a child.... ANY CHILD.

> >

> > I don't care what the history is or what the teachers reputation

is. In this instant, she mishandled the situation. Period.

> >

> > Janice

>

[Guest guest]

While I believe there is more to the story this whole thread is

ironic in that it appears on a board for " support. "

>

> I know as parents we can sometimes be in denial with the

differences

> in our own child. Even though for me, I believe I had

the " mother's

> instinct " when everyone else just thought my son was a late

talker.

> Maybe it should've been a clue to this mother, when her son was

> allegedly " expelled " from an entire school district after only the

> first few months of kindergarten. As reported, he didn't begin in

> the new school district until this past January.

>

> Kate

>

> " I am my child's mother "

> -Dr

[Guest guest]

I don't know about anyone else but as a parent of a 3 year old with

special needs this entire conversation has taught me the importance

of being my child's advocate. I am going to do what I can to avoid

these type of situations for my own son. As one person said that

means making sure any professionals that work with my son know about

his condition. I've learned so much and even though I don't know

anyone here I feel like I do.

To me the irony is that the mother was upset that the teacher

ostracized her child in front of the class and then she went ahead

and ostracized him in front of the entire world.

Kate

>

> While I believe there is more to the story this whole thread is

> ironic in that it appears on a board for " support. "

[Guest guest]

Becky, who do you see? I asked for local referrals (central NJ) and

was told accuaracy was an issue.

>

> I live in Northern NJ where there is a decent amount of " Experts "

who would

> be able to diagnose Autism Spectrum issues-- etc. HOWEVER-- there

is a high

> amount of children in the area who are in need of this care, so

it's still an

> issue to be able to get into a specialist to get a diagnoses.

>

> I want to clarify something here-- because I am not placing " blame "

on the

> mother. I feel that ALL parties are " to blame " here. EVERYONE

handles things

> improperly, in my opinion-- starting with the mother, then the

administration

> and the teacher.

> I want to clarify that I am telling you that no matter who is

to " BLAME " in

> a situation, the ULTIMATE RESPONSIBILITY FOR A CHILD'S GENERAL

HEALTH,

> CARE AND WELL BEING is the PARENT!

> I'm not yelling this statement, but using caps to have

clarification,

> because it seems as though some might assume that I am putting

blame on the mother

> only.

>

> This has nothing to do with blame, but has everything to do with a

parent

> taking the God-given responsibility to make sure their child is

healthy, safe,

> and happy. Whether that be in a private, public or home school

environment,

> the parents are the ones who choose to have the child, so

therefore bear that

> ultimate responsibility. It's obvious from what's been said by the

mother

> herself-- and all those surrounding the situation, that the child

isn't doing

> well and wasn't happy, and that it seems that it indeed has been

going on for a

> long enough time to have made changes.

>

> ALL were " to blame " and ALL adults in this situation have been in

error--

> but I will ALWAYS say that it's a parents responsibility to take

care of it in

> the end result-- they are the ones by law who are to take care of

the child,

> unless, of course, they have relinquished their parental rights

over to the

> state, where the STATE would then become the responsible party.

>

> Becky

>

>

> In a message dated 6/4/2008 8:08:28 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

> elmccann@... writes:

>

> don't know where you live, but around here it takes 18-24 months

to

> get an appt with any doctor who specializes in autism. Do you know

> how long this mom waited for an appt? Do you know if she took her

> child to her pediatrician who told her don't worry, it's a stage

or

> you need to discipline him more (blaming her). Do you know if his

> problem behaviors existed to this extent at home or are they more

> prevalent in the classroom because they are primarily sensory

> related? Do you know when the school communicated the problems to

> the mom? There are too many questions for me to put any blame on

the

> mother for not getting a diagnosis quickly enough. This is not a

> topic in any of the autism groups I belong to (in fact, this is

the

> only group I know of that is blaming the mom

>

>

>

>

> **************Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch " Cooking

with

> Tyler Florence " on AOL Food.

> (http://food.aol.com/tyler-florence?video=4?

& NCID=aolfod00030000000002)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well, for Asa, he's NOT Autistic or even on the spectrum, so we've been

trying to get that Globral Apraxia/Dyspraxia diagnoses, which is significantly

more difficult to get a specialist with.

With the ASDs-- it seems it's much easier to find people who know about them

enough to get an accurate diagnoses.

We went to Dr. Heilbronner-- and honestly, did NOT like him. I cannot tell

you how much I DISLIKED the man, and felt that he knew little , to nothing,

about Apraxia/Dyspraxia, so we need another Ped Neuro.

I've gotten several referrals, and the problem that I'm finding is NOT

getting an expert that can diagnose him, because there seem to be TONS of Ped

Neuros that would work, but we're finding it hard to get someone to take our

INSURANCE! I'm finding that they'll take Medicaid but not the private

insurances. @@

Makes no sense-- I'm paying tons of tax money for OTHER people to receive

Medicaid and Medicare, in order for THEIR kids to get " the best care there is "

from an expert in the field, and yet here I am also paying thousands and

thousands for a private insurance to be able to give my family quality care, and

yet we can't get it???

ARgh

But-- I've found plenty of experts that would be able to diagnose! LOL

Try over at St. Joe's, they have an excellent Neuro dept evidently.

Becky

In a message dated 6/5/2008 7:35:28 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

lizlaw@... writes:

Becky, who do you see? I asked for local referrals (central NJ) and

was told accuaracy was an issue.

**************Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch " Cooking with

Tyler Florence " on AOL Food.

(http://food.aol.com/tyler-florence?video=4? & NCID=aolfod00030000000002)