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Nadine you raise a good point about overcoming for yourself and you

are to be applauded as well one who has helped advocate for many special

needs children in your career as an attorney. We'd all like to hear

more about you. About that article/email you posted...

As of yet there is no blood test for some of these conditions.

Asperger Syndrome in the CNN reporter was diagnosed at almost 50 (OK

48) years old... due to her reporting on it. In her case -don't you

think someone else would have noticed it first? Her parents? Her

husband? Her many doctors all her life? And come to think of it -

speaking of her parents -she suspects her father (what is he -80?) is

autistic too. This reminds me of when I worked in fashion with tons

of gay men who assumed all men wanted to be or were gay. They

assumed if we were walking down the street together and a car filled

with guys beeped the horn and cat called it was for them and not me.

Not true -just like not true that everyone that is rude or a geek is

autistic. Some people have sensory issues -that's not necessarily

autism either. My husband calls me the bionic nose and it's not a

gift I can tell you that. Try to work in NYC in the summer with a

bionic nose if you don't believe me! But it's not a danger to me -so

I don't have to cure it.

This 50 (OK 48)year old married with friends CNN reporter

pleads " Don't pity me or try to cure or change me. " Why would anyone

have pitied, or tried to " cure or change her " since she diagnosed

herself at 50 (OK 48)years old with Asperger Syndrome? Doesn't she

kind of bring this on herself by placing a label of autism on herself

at 50 (OK 48) years old? One can't help but pity her husband- but

there are many men married to women who can be bee-oches.

Also why not keep it Asperger Syndrome and not " aspies " since it's a

diagnosis and not a cutsie nickname. The rule of thumb is if nobody

notices but you, and you don't need any drugs to be the way you are -

perhaps that's just you and you don't need a diagnosis to explain who

you are. Everyone is normal or strange in some way -that's why we

are all " unique " .

But going back to those other notice have a diagnosis and the

line " Don't pity me or try to cure or change me. " While some aspects

of sensory don't matter -decreased pain can be dangerous which is

still something my son Tanner has. Tanner and I have spoken about

it and he insists that he can in some way feel pain...in the way you

can calmly talk about it vs. screaming in pain about it.

Offlist I've been speaking with someone about this for Tanner. While

perhaps the button thing still frustrates him -Tanner is happy with

the way he talks and senses things. He's decided he doesn't want to

change. The vitamin E brought increased pain sensation to him which

I of course see as a good thing (child continues to play with a

broken finger -the tough kid that doesn't cry when he gets stiches)

and when we first started the vitamin E -the pain was almost overfelt

as you can read in the archives. It's faded and while his speech is

smoother with it-he doesn't want the increased pain sensation -

what's " normal " So I'm not sure if we'll be able to ever change him

at this point. But on the other hand I'm thrilled that his self

esteem is that high- he accepts the way he is -and likes it.

Below are archvies on how we talked to Tanner about his apraxia -

because Nadine I so agree with you on that. Also perhaps can

share how when Khalid was younger her and her husband kept Khalid's

apraxia from him. It wasn't until he was working with a school based

SLP at 8 that explained his apraxia to him that Khalid understood why

he was different and was upset nobody told him sooner. telling

me this story is what prompted me to discuss the apraxia with

Tanner...but not until I thought he would be in the situation where

he may stand out -mainstream kindergarten.

Re: , to continue on the conversation from the other day.

Hi Michele!

I had to smile when you asked if I got any suggestions on this -

because I so wish. I'm really swamped today and in a rush - so

please excuse any typos!

If he's talking to you about this now, he's old enough for you to

sit down with him and have a heart to heart. There is no guide book

I can let you know about yet for this, so I hope my suggestions can

help you to help him, and also to help you to appreciate that you've

reached this point!

I believe the heart to hearts keep the self esteem high, teach our

children how to deal with teasing and/or keep from being teased, and

most important teach them to accept themselves for who they are, as

they are. In his 9 years Tanner's been one of the boys with the

same amount of teasing as any other kid. Hardly ever.

The first heart to heart talk I ever had with Tanner was when he was

3 when we stopped the fish oils right after we started them. Why

did we stop? Because he was surging so much and it was one week of

testing by the public school, and a critical week for me to try to

secure him appropriate therapies. I describe that week (from you

know where) as the hardest thing I had to do for Tanner, and Glenn -

I had to hide the fish oils from him because he thought it was nuts

to stop Tanner. But he didn't know what went on in the schools at

that time (now too?) where " inclusive therapy " (group therapy) 15

minutes twice a week was the norm! (at his school anyway) It was

clear that Tanner " had it, and then knew he lost it " Zimet

CCC SLP who now works for EI in Georgia was Tanner's EI therapist at

this time and couldn't believe the difference. if you read

this- please let everyone know what you recall.

Michele stopping them for a week prior to testing did assure he

would not test well at all as an FYI. Besides so many still don't

believe or give credit to them " working " anyway -so why would they

care if you stopped them even if they knew?!

Here's the first heart to heart moment ever at 3:

Tanner had just come out of the bathtub and was at this point

wrapped up in his cute little robe with a towel over his head, and

when I said " OK we have to get dressed now " he pointed to his nose.

I had not a clue why but casually said " What your nose? " he shook

his head no and pointed to his nose again. " You got water up your

nose, you hit it on something? " Ooh daring -a double guess in

one. He stamped his foot no and again pointed to his nose. I said

trying to change the subject " OK well let's forget that for a second

and just get you dressed " For the first time ever, Tanner threw

himself on the ground and started to cry really hard while burrowing

his face into the carpet.

I laid down on the ground next to him and softly said to him while

he wasn't paying attention at first because he was crying (from

memory at this point so not exactly unless you can find this in the

archives which it's there somewhere)

" Tanner I know it's hard to learn to talk but everyone has to learn

to talk. " Tanner amazingly stopped crying hard and gradually as I

continued to speak looked at me as I spoke. That had never happened

before and I recall I was shocked. I went on " Me and Daddy and

Dakota and and everyone, we are all going to help you to

learn to talk. And I remember it used to make me cry too when my

Mommy didn't understand me when I was learning to talk. " (made that

up -I spoke non stop from as long as everyone recalls)

Then I said " just remember really, really hard what you want to say

up here (and touched his head) so that when you learn to talk you

can tell everyone. And we'll be there for you the entire time. We

are going to help you and you will learn to talk. It's going to be

OK Tanner it really is. " And this is the part I still don't believe

happened. I then said " OK? " and Tanner nodded his head in

agreement. At 3 I had a " conversation " with him that was deep

beyond his years. That was one of the first. From then on I looked

at moments of breakdown as moments of breakthrough.

The next big one was prior to starting kindergarten just before his

6th birthday. I knew he was going from the amazing out of district

placement Summit Speech School for the Hearing Impaired (yes it was

worth it in the long run to not give Tanner fish oils for that one

week but I swore I'd never do that to him again!)

This heart to heart was not due to frustration on his part, but to

prepare him. I said to him (and this is also word for word in the

archives) " Tanner when you were a little baby you had very high

fevers that gave you a boo boo here " and I touched his

head. " That's the reason it's been a bit harder for you to learn to

talk. But Tanner you are amazing! Most of us talk using a small

amount of our brain, but Tanner somehow you figured out another

pathway to learn to talk and nobody really knows how you did it.

You actually use more of your brain when you talk then the average

person which is amazing Tanner! But sometimes people that only use

a small amount of their brain will hear the way you talk, and may

say something that's not nice about you. But that's because they

only use a teeny bit of their brain so you have to feel sorry for

them. " Then I said in mock serious " But Tanner, just because you

use more of your brain than most people don't go thinking you are

better than anybody else! " Tanner put his head down so I couldn't

see him smile but I could and I mock acted upset and said " Tanner! "

Then we both hugged.

The one time Tanner got teased I said to him " People will say mean

things when they don't like themselves or when they are having a bad

day. Like for example perhaps their dog just died and they are in a

bad mood because of that. They may say something mean to you but

that's because they are sad. So don't be upset with them, feel

sorry for them because maybe their dog just died. "

During the heart to heart talks you can bring up your own " memories "

of similar situations to relate. And there are other ways to help

too. Acting!

Help to get other rouge phrases in his motor memory by acting them

out. Help him by practicing with him and teach him how to practice

on his own. For example when nobody but the two of you are around

pretend practice opening presents. Let him know that most people

don't say much when they open a present other than " thank you "

or " ooooooh " or at most " wow just what I wanted " Figure out rouge

expressions for that situation.

I have in the archives how Tanner used to practice expressions in

the mirror over and over when he thought nobody was around. " You

want to play? Want to play? " You...want to play? " You WANT TO

play? " saying the same thing over and over. He'd also practice

facial expressions in the mirror. Dolan who is working on her

masters in Early Childhood Special Head at the University of Florida

grew up with apraxia. I met her at a book signing for The Late

Talker, and she told me she to this day practices what she is going

to say in new situations and tries to think ahead what will come

up. Have to tell you that it's hard to know is apraxic today -

but her Mother, Father, and Grandmother who were all there with

backed up everything. said she only breaks down if she " goes

off track " and only lets that happen with close family and friends.

Mustafa used to act out situations with Khalid to help get him

prepared. will fill in more on this! The CHERAB Foundation

was invited all expenses paid, and I've chosen her son Khalid who is

now in college and one of our greatest success stories as a group to

attend and perhaps speak on behalf of the CHERAB Foundation at an

International Conference sponsored by a major US magazine. (yes you

read that correctly!)

An apraxic child can grow up to be anything or do anything...even

acting or public speaking. And through CHERAB I know that for a

fact! If you want your son to speak with Tanner let me know.

Tanner's talked to a few other kids (and parents and professionals)

already and loves to help when he can.

From: " kiddietalk " <kiddietalk@...>

Date: Fri Oct 15, 2004 10:43 am

Subject: Re: What do I say?

I am so proud of you!!! I smiled reading what you said to your son -

what a great mommy you are!!! This is such an important topic so I'm

so glad you brought this up -self esteem is so precious -and

important to keep high for our children.

All kids can feel bad about themselves at times -all kids can be

teased at times -so all of that is normal. It's how we help them

deal and learn to overcome. It's how we have a " conversation " with

a child who is feeling bad about their inabilities to have full

conversations.

When a child suddenly notices they are different -I like to rule out

why. What's the sudden change? I mean think about it -if children

didn't start school until 7 and there were no children his age in

the neighborhood -how would a 6 year old know he's

different...unless someone tells him, or it becomes that obvious

because he's around a bunch of others his age who easily do what he

can't -talk well.

Your son is at the age where he would be aware of differences,

especially if he is schooled with 'normal' speech wise children.

And school must have just started for your son. So that should be

number one place to look for this sudden awareness, and think about

talking to the teacher to ask her if something is going on there. A

good thing you can do just in case even to prevent problems is

the " circle of friends " Please let me know if you need to know how

to do that.

Is your son in kindergarten or first grade now? What type of

placement? I would also find out from him if anyone has teased

him. There has been just two (thankfully) situations since Tanner

was in school where there was a child that teased him about the way

he talks. Both times -Tanner came home moody -not himself. He also

typically loves going to school and was resistant to go around those

two times. What is interesting is that both times at first when I

asked him " did someone tease you at school? " Tanner said " No " The

way I got it out of him was by relating (OK so it wasn't true -but

he doesn't know that) by saying " It's OK to let Daddy and me know if

someone teased you -sometimes people say bad things to you when they

are having a bad day, or they don't feel good about themselves.

Like maybe their dog just died and they are in a bad mood. Or maybe

they are jealous because you are so smart and they don't feel that

smart. " and then I would say something like " I remember one day I

had to go to the bathroom and I tried to say " I have to go to the

bathroom " and instead said " I have potty " and the other kids thought

I pooped in my pants " I figured that had to be worse than any

speech blooper he had! And you know stuff like that works for

Tanner -makes him laugh at me -and at himself. Then he tells me

what really happened.

Perhaps it's due to those two times early on that Tanner is never

teased now. He knows how to handle it -it's hard for a bully to

tease someone who doesn't get upset. And speaking of bully -as the

list owner please let me know off list who is invading your privacy -

and I'll report them to and the FBI. This is a family

grouplist with zero tolerance for bullies.

We chose to talk to Tanner about his speech impairment in a child

appropriate way prior to him entering kindergarten just in case he

was teased, or wondered why he had to work so hard on something that

came so easily to others -talking. And the good news is that in

addition to what you already did -it's not to late to add a bit more

if you feel appropriate. I found it to be most important for school

age children with speech impairments.

I told Tanner that I was an artist in New York for years -so the

word different for me is not a bad thing at all -normal was a bad

thing to me! Being different is not unusual anyway -we are all

different. You can ask your son how many people in his school/does

he know that wear glasses. Remind him that wearing glasses means

that person needs help seeing, just like he needs some help

talking. Their vision may not be as good as yours, you can say, but

that doesn't mean that those people can't do or be whatever they

want -just like you. I told Tanner about Helen Keller -and about

the diamond " A diamond is a lump of coal that was put under intense

pressure for a long period of time " It all seems to work.

Tanner's always had a high self esteem, and as he ages -we even make

him more aware of what his apraxia is and how he has overcome it -

as you will read in the following -it's all in a good way. Just

like in The Late Talker book we explained how to relieve

frustrations in a " late talker " child -the same strategies do work

for the older ones too.

This is what I said to Tanner at six prior to him starting

kindergarten:

" Tanner when you were a little baby you had very high fevers that

caused a boo boo in here. (I touched his head) But what you did

was amazing Tanner! You see, most of us only use a tiny bit of our

brain, and most of us learn to talk the same way -but you have

somehow developed another pathway to talk using more of your

brain...which

actually makes you smarter than the rest of us!

Now this is the thing, sometimes people who don't know just how

smart you are may judge you based on how you talk and even call you

names. This is because they don't feel good about themselves, or

they don't feel as smart as you. So don't get angry with people

like that who don't use as much of their brain as you do. And

always let us know if someone ever says anything bad to you.

Then I paused and said with a mock serious face/mocking voice. " Now

Tanner, just because you are smarter then most other people -don't

go thinking you are better than anybody else. You hear me Tanner?

Tanner don't smile, you have to be nice to everybody Tanner "

(that made Tanner smile too)

Since we've moved from New Jersey -I now tell Tanner (stretch the

truth) that if he wants to ever feel normal he can move back to New

Jersey where all the kids his age just about have apraxia. I tell

him that the people where we live in FL are not used to people with

speech

problems, so some could prejudge him, but he can prove to them just

how smart he is. And he does.

Like your son:

Tanner knows that due to his " late talking " he has an " amazing

memory " and that he is " Mr. Mathhead " Tanner was the first in his

class to get the 1-12 table addition award for math last week! He

is now reading some scary stories for Halloween, just completed a

book report which was amazing, and we are just so proud of how great

he is doing!

Point being that Tanner today at 8 knows he isn't like others in

regards to speech. Then again there are ways that Tanner excels

over the norm.

Tanner can talk -and he is typically understood. His speech

impairment today is that his speech is still immature for an 8 year

old. He tends to keep his sentences short. If he has a longer

thought he pauses and breaks the thought up. In general, Tanner is

expressive, let's you know what he wants or how he feels -but he

isn't very expressive verbally. Tanner's speech ability doesn't

affect Tanner's ability to have lots of friends -he's a cool kid,

and a sweetheart too. Tanner's also received awards at school for

helping others who are in pain, or being the only one to remember to

help the teacher or other students clean up.

We just saw Shark Tail a few weeks ago with two of Dakota and

Tanner's friends. When Tanner wanted to describe to everyone what

he loved about a movie he as usual kept his comments down to one

short sentence, used some gestures and words like " So Cool! " -and

ended with a question, " right? "

Tanner's knows how to get others to talk -now that's his own

strategy! Sounds like your son is on the same track -and he's got

you on his side to keep him on the right track!

=====

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Nadine, I apologize. I tried very hard to be clear and say something

specific, and messed up on both counts. I had absolutely no intention

of calling you unempathetic or making any reference at all to your

self-perception. My grammatical error was linking self acceptance and

empathy. The " very basic deficit " phrase was meant only to refer to

empathy, and I should have phrased that part another way, too.

Everything I have read describes a kind of mind blindness, problems

with mirror neurons, difficulty interpreting others'

intentions--usually briefly listed as " lack of empathy " --being a

universal trait in spectrum diagnoses. Maybe it is not universal,

like so many other " typically autistic " traits are turning out not to

be, which is how this whole thread got started. I don't have any

idea. I do know that for me to some degree, and for my son to a much

greater degree, understanding the perspective, experience and

motivation of someone else is very difficult.

Of course your choices and achievements show empathy, not to mention

bravery and great character. I have the greatest admiration for what

you are doing, particularly as it is extra hard for you in some ways,

and it is so important. All I meant to indicate is that the pattern

of being clueless/oblivious to the fact that others are feeling and

experiencing something which you describe is very common (even if it's

not universal) even in grownup and very bright individuals who find

themselves even slightly on the spectrum. It certainly stays with me

even now that I can mostly " pass " so I want to help my son recognize

this challenge and help coach him to overcome it to the best of my

admittedly limited ability.

In future I will certainly describe " frequently observed differences "

rather than " basic deficits " of the autistic mind. Sorry about that.

If this needs more clearing up feel free to answer me privately, or on

the board.

> > Re: self acceptance and empathy which, of course,

> is a very basic deficit in the autistic mind.

>

> I am not an expert on autism just because I have been diagnoed with

> Asperger's. Every person is different. And I know that there are many

> times that I am pretty clueless/oblivious to the fact that others are

> feeling and/or experiencing something. But I really don't think that I

> lack empathy. If I did I wouldn't have spent all of the time and

> effort - which took a huge toll on me by the way - to overcome my

> anxiety and represent children who needed my help. I knew that they

> felt helpless because that is how I had felt when I was their age. I

> did not want them to feel that way. Isn't that that empathy? Maybe

> I'm wrong. Maybe it's something different. If it is the same - does

> that mean I don't have autsim? I have been re-evaluated and diagnosed

> at various ages. I don't think it's that simple. Maybe we make too

> many general conclusions about what are " basic deficits in the autistic

> mind. "

>

> It's true I have a problem with self-acceptance. But only because

> others have not accepted me. Thank goodness my Mom did. That really

> helped. As a mom myself I know that it is hard and often stressful. II

> did not mean to diminish that.

>

> Nadine

>

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,

Jeanne here. I also have to agree with your points about the person

who diagnosed herself as having asperger syndrome. It seems strange

to me that such a big deal is made about the diagnosis, and she

doesn't want pity. For one thing I'm sure many of us have our own

personality quirks, or moods. That just makes us individuals not all

having aspergers. I'm sure we have all met people/or kids who are

different or maybe not everyone is very socialable, are we going to

call everyone as having Aspergers?

>

> Nadine you raise a good point about overcoming for yourself and you

> are to be applauded as well one who has helped advocate for many

special

> needs children in your career as an attorney. We'd all like to hear

> more about you. About that article/email you posted...

>

> As of yet there is no blood test for some of these conditions.

> Asperger Syndrome in the CNN reporter was diagnosed at almost 50 (OK

> 48) years old... due to her reporting on it. In her case -don't you

> think someone else would have noticed it first? Her parents? Her

> husband? Her many doctors all her life? And come to think of it -

> speaking of her parents -she suspects her father (what is he -80?)

is

> autistic too.

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> I also have to agree with your points about the person who diagnosed

herself ...

Did she diagnose herself? I thought that someone else did. Why would

she want to have AS if she doesn't? Is it trendy or something these

days? Maybe I'll finally be " Cool. " :-)

I certainly do diagree with her about not wanting symptoms to go away.

I would get rid of mine in a heartbeat.

Nadine02

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> I also have to agree with your points about the person who diagnosed

herself ...

Did she diagnose herself? I thought that someone else did. Why would

she want to have AS if she doesn't? Is it trendy or something these

days? Maybe I'll finally be " Cool. " :-)

I certainly do diagree with her about not wanting symptoms to go away.

I would get rid of mine in a heartbeat.

Nadine02

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>We'd all like to hear more about you.

Well, I personally don't think I'm very interesting. If you want to

hear more about me because it tells you something about what it's like

to have AS though I'm okay with that.

I have had the same core symptoms since I was very little basically but

they are much milder now. As a child I developed speech on time but in

some ways it was atypical. I used to repeat the last word of every

sentence and hum or say mmmmm under my breath constantly. I had great

difficulty speaking when upset and sometimes stuttered. I develped a

very large vocabulary at a very young age and did not " sound " like a

child. I only talked about one or two subjects in which I was very

interested. I did not engage in social conversation in a typical sense.

I had many obsessive compulsive behaviors and adhered to rigid rituals

and routines. If we did not do things the " right " way I became

extremely upset. It caused me a lot of anxiety. I don't know why this

started or why I did it. I do know that I eventually forced myself to

stop by purposly doing things the " wrong " way until I could tolerate it.

My sensory problems were much worse then. I hated and feared loud

noise. It caused me physical pain. I hated constricting clothes and

would not wear them. I could not make eye contact because I got

headaches and sharp pains in my eyes when I tried for too long. As I

said, these problems are milder now. Now my biggest sensory problem

involves not being able to judge how far away other cars are and how

fast they are approaching when I am driving. Thus, I only drive when I

have to and only during the day and never in city traffic.

I have never understood social cues well and I have had to watch other

people and memorize what they do to blend in socially. I have memorized

and practiced gestures, intonation, facial expressions, everything.

Now it comes much more naturally because I have practiced so much. In

new situations though I am very awkward and can suddenly seem to change

from a very confident social person to someone very quiet and withdrawn

which has disconcerted some people. I have tremendous social anxiety

and overanalyze many encounters. I am oblivious and it upsets me if I

figure out that I have upset someone - especially if I can't figure out

why. I often have had to to ask other people if something I have said

or done was appropriate.

Hmm, what else, well I have mild dyslexia, attention defecit problems

and I am extremely uncoordinated. I can only sleep if there is white

noise and I wake up frequently. I have chronic neuromuscular pain and

GI issues and allergies.

AS only got into the DSM in 1994. As a child I had a dx of OCD, social

anxiety disorder and some kind of learning disorder. As a young adult

I was diagnosed with AS. Ironically, I was only seeking help for my

anxiety at the time. Since then I have gotten a second opinion. It

was the same. That was several years ago though. Maybe it would be

different now.

As for being a lawyer. I went to law school because I was extremely

interested in legal history. I became a researcher for the Federal

Judicial Center while still in law school and was planning to do that

after I graduated until I did an internship working with abused and

neglected kids, many of whom had special needs. I just felt that I

wanted to help them. I knew that it would be really hard though

because I have so much social anxiety and don't read cues well which is

necessary in court. Somehow I managed to do a pretty good job though

because I did not want to let the kids down. Unfortunately, the stress

really took a toll on me though eventually, and my AS symptoms and GI

issues and pain got worse again. My husband I felt that I should

retire at 35. I had my son a year later. Maybe someday I will be a

legal reseracher again. Who knows. I guess I'm no Temple Grandin:-)

Is there anything else you wanted to know?

Nadine

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Au contraire –very interesting Nadine! Très Cool! Thank you so much

for sharing as this provides some awesome insight that as parents we

wouldn't know from the child's perspective. I always try (in vain)

to share the side of the celiac child who gets stuck on a special

diet and why not to put your child on one unless they need it –but

people get pissed and don't understand that I remember it from the

child's view. The child's view is something we don't know enough

about when it comes to disorders like autism and apraxia and while

more share about autism (as it's not in itself a verbal impairment)

we are just starting to hear from the apraxic " child "

I do have questions but wanted to read your post when I asked and

something's up with (again) today where messages are not

posting in order or for hours after they are approved –so I just did

a few from memory and add to this when it shows up. (and some are

showing up more than once to be approved and still not showing up

which I don't ever remember happening before!) Just went to post

this and yes your message is here -but I'll just start with these

questions anyway.

Even though not all the little children we outreach to have autism or

asperger's –many have sensory issues. But don't limit your answers

to sensory of course!

So here are a few questions from me and I'm sure others have more.

What were your favorite things to do when you were little?

What did you think of Holidays or days like Halloween?

What did you want to be when you grew up –or instead when did you

decide to go to law school to advocate for special needs children?

Was there a moment in time?

Did you have a best friend or did you hang out with a group or both?

If one thing could have been changed (outside of your diagnosis or

family, friends things like that) what do you wish was done

differently?

Have you tried fish oil or vitamin E for yourself? If so -any change?

How long have you had it and what do they relate the neuromuscular pain to?

(and sorry to hear about that)

How would you feel if today some started diagnosing the children with

asperger's syndrome with Childhood Asperger's Syndrome of Sensory

instead of just asperger's syndrome? (that was a joke :o)

=====

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On or offlist can I ask, what were the therapies like in your

childhood. Just curious what was available then versus now.

> >We'd all like to hear more about you.

>

> Well, I personally don't think I'm very interesting. If you want

to

> hear more about me because it tells you something about what it's

like

> to have AS though I'm okay with that.

>

> I have had the same core symptoms since I was very little basically

but

> they are much milder now. As a child I developed speech on time

but in

> some ways it was atypical. I used to repeat the last word of every

> sentence and hum or say mmmmm under my breath constantly. I had

great

> difficulty speaking when upset and sometimes stuttered. I develped

a

> very large vocabulary at a very young age and did not " sound " like

a

> child. I only talked about one or two subjects in which I was very

> interested. I did not engage in social conversation in a typical

sense.

>

> I had many obsessive compulsive behaviors and adhered to rigid

rituals

> and routines. If we did not do things the " right " way I became

> extremely upset. It caused me a lot of anxiety. I don't know why

this

> started or why I did it. I do know that I eventually forced myself

to

> stop by purposly doing things the " wrong " way until I could

tolerate it.

>

> My sensory problems were much worse then. I hated and feared loud

> noise. It caused me physical pain. I hated constricting clothes

and

> would not wear them. I could not make eye contact because I got

> headaches and sharp pains in my eyes when I tried for too long. As

I

> said, these problems are milder now. Now my biggest sensory

problem

> involves not being able to judge how far away other cars are and

how

> fast they are approaching when I am driving. Thus, I only drive

when I

> have to and only during the day and never in city traffic.

>

> I have never understood social cues well and I have had to watch

other

> people and memorize what they do to blend in socially. I have

memorized

> and practiced gestures, intonation, facial expressions,

everything.

> Now it comes much more naturally because I have practiced so much.

In

> new situations though I am very awkward and can suddenly seem to

change

> from a very confident social person to someone very quiet and

withdrawn

> which has disconcerted some people. I have tremendous social

anxiety

> and overanalyze many encounters. I am oblivious and it upsets me

if I

> figure out that I have upset someone - especially if I can't figure

out

> why. I often have had to to ask other people if something I have

said

> or done was appropriate.

>

> Hmm, what else, well I have mild dyslexia, attention defecit

problems

> and I am extremely uncoordinated. I can only sleep if there is

white

> noise and I wake up frequently. I have chronic neuromuscular pain

and

> GI issues and allergies.

>

> AS only got into the DSM in 1994. As a child I had a dx of OCD,

social

> anxiety disorder and some kind of learning disorder. As a young

adult

> I was diagnosed with AS. Ironically, I was only seeking help for

my

> anxiety at the time. Since then I have gotten a second opinion.

It

> was the same. That was several years ago though. Maybe it would

be

> different now.

>

> As for being a lawyer. I went to law school because I was

extremely

> interested in legal history. I became a researcher for the Federal

> Judicial Center while still in law school and was planning to do

that

> after I graduated until I did an internship working with abused and

> neglected kids, many of whom had special needs. I just felt that I

> wanted to help them. I knew that it would be really hard though

> because I have so much social anxiety and don't read cues well

which is

> necessary in court. Somehow I managed to do a pretty good job

though

> because I did not want to let the kids down. Unfortunately, the

stress

> really took a toll on me though eventually, and my AS symptoms and

GI

> issues and pain got worse again. My husband I felt that I should

> retire at 35. I had my son a year later. Maybe someday I will be

a

> legal reseracher again. Who knows. I guess I'm no Temple Grandin:-

)

>

> Is there anything else you wanted to know?

>

> Nadine

>

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Actually, rather than answering questions about me, (I promise you

that I'm not that interesting) I would like to suggest an excellent

book. It is called " Send in the Idiots: Stories from the Other Side of

Autism " by Kamran Nazeer. Please do not be put off by the title. It

is a most respectful book. It is also at times humorous, and at times

poignant. The author was diagnosed with autism as a young child and

attended a school specially designed for children on the spectrum.

Eventually he was mainsteamed and went on to earn both a Ph.D and a law

degree. He is now a policy analyst for the British government. In the

book he looks up some of his former classmates from the school to see

what they are doing now. Throughout, he gives you insight about people

with autism. It is really very good. Better than anything I could

tell you. I'm going to take a break from writing now for awhile. I'm

pretty busy these days. Take care though.

Nadine

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Too many people generalize about the autistic mind.Too many people think a

child with autism has tobe either banging their head against the wall or

walking in circles looking at the sky with no sense of purpose. This is 2008

and a

lot of these kids are all different although they still meet the criteria

for autism and if it is asd they do not meet all the criteria. More kids get

diagnosed with autism because there is a lot more awareness unlike apraxia

which has not gotten the same publicity but according to Sue Robbins who has

autism most of the people with autism have apraxia but I know that most people

with apraxia do not have autism. That is the difference eventhough my Josh has

asd. McCarthy is on Oprah Friday. I got a news letter from the National

Association for the Young Child today about how to talk with parents about

autism. Josh has juvenile diabetes too. We are hoping for an organ transplant

someday. Have a nice day.

**************Planning your summer road trip? Check out AOL Travel Guides.

(http://travel.aol.com/travel-guide/united-states?ncid=aoltrv00030000000016)

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