RE: I give up

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm so sorry that you and your son are having to go through so

much pain and frustration regarding his school. If you feel home

schooling would be best for your son and you then go for it.

However, if you feel an " appropriate and least restrictive " school

environment would be best for him, then I think there are still

options you can pursue. My AS son did pretty well in kindergarten

but when he was in third grade more problems started occurring. When

he got bored or uninterested in the class he would disrupt the

class, if he got something wrong on an assignment or was directed to

do work that he didn't understand he would become very angry, and

then eventually at recess there were several instances where he hit,

kicked, or pushed someone when he was angry. Luckily the school

personnel and the principal were working well with me to try and put

supports in place to solve the problems. Many of the issues had been

addressed successfully. However, he was sent to the principals

office one day due to an event at recess, he was having a meltdown,

he repeatedly asked the principal to call me, she felt she could

help him work through it and didn't call me, my son's anger

escalated and he hit the principal. At this point the principal

called me to come and get my son. We had previously discussed

getting my son a fulltime aide and had decided to wait and see how

things went first. The principal had received some phone calls from

parents wanting to know what was going to be done so that their

child would not be hit, or pushed, etc. by my son again. The

principal met with the Director of special education and we all

agreed that it would be best to get my son a fulltime aide. The one

that was hired was excellent. I see a lot of similarity in what your

son is going through. If you would like for him to get an aide, I

would go as high as it takes to see that it happens. I convinced my

sons teacher first by explaining to her that an aide would allow her

to teach her class without having to deal with interruptions from my

son. Thus making her job immensely easier and more effective. Then I

convinced the principal that having a fulltime aide with my son

(including at recess) would prevent him from getting into

altercations with other students and would solve her problem of what

to tell the parents that had been complaining. Once I had convinced

them he needed an aide, I highly recommended that they hire an aide

with either AS experience or at least special needs experience. When

the aide was hired, we all met (aide, me, IEP team) and taught the

aide how to deal with AS issues and what supports she could use to

help. It has all worked out extremely well. The other wonderful

thing about having a fulltime aide is that she can tell me every

detail about how his day has gone, so I know exactly what has

happened and why. My son was getting picked on and teased by other

children. This stopped completely when the aide was hired! Now he

has several really good friends at school. I don't know the entire

chain of command to be followed, but I would at least go through the

teacher, the speech and language pathologist, the resource teacher,

the special education teacher, the principal, the special education

director, the school counselor, and anyone else who might be useful

or in a position of authority. I also involved an autism outreach

consultant to come in and observe my child in class and make

recommendations. If all that failed, I think I would involve eiher

an advocate or resort to litigation. I don't know a lot about that

sort of thing, but I believe it can be done at no cost to you. I'm

sure someone in this group could probably help you with that. No

matter what you decide to do, I hope you can find a solution that is

good for your son. I decided to take the route I followed because I

felt my son needed the socialization of being in a general education

classroom. We felt the socialization of being with his peers was

important because he doesn't do any other kind of group activities

such as sports, or scouts, etc. Good luck and best wishes in

whatever you decide to do.

Pam

[Guest guest]

Hello paul; don't give up sir. I know what it feels like to feel this way; I'm

still living it while on 400MG of IM every two weeks along with not feeling

better while on it or on anything else. I still have no hope of a future, no

hope of being with a female for the first time in my life within any form of

connection romanticly, and knowing primary hypgonadism took away so much

including my ability to learn. Yea, just to learn and have any relationship with

a mate.

Is 10.5 your free or total testosterone in European conversion?

" depsite me having to have an orchidopexy for bilateral undescended

testicles,which i can t imagine helped with testosteron production and my

history at various ages weights and sizes of tiredness/lethargy/focussing

the only thin i did agree on is yes my aspergers/add and dyspraxia "

I had the same surgery done at age nine. It should have been done by the age of

two. The doctors gave my mom a lie about how the surgery had to come about. She

didn't know any better but years later and so much hell for me, I researched and

talk to numerous doctors and they all concluded, what the doctors told my mom

was a LIE. Makes me want to seek legal action. Im tired of suffering for the

malpractice against me.

My left testicle was descended but no one checked my hormonal levels after.

What aged did you get that surgery?

Even if Im still in my own hell , that should make you fight harder.

For the last 8 months its been up and down three times a month at the hospital.

Seeing the same nurses and doctors and security guards. Knowing they dont know

why Im there and judging because of course you are not working and thinking you

are lazy and not just unhealthy in so many areas.

Geez, I have my lame pic up in dating services. Of course rare responses...

Considering who I wish to date... Its odd for me... I have never been in a

relationship with a female but yet, I wish to knowing my penis is still small

from hypo..

I have no job, on a very conservative budget, no real hope of a successful

future all thru Im trying to get better at PC's, no support, hate in my heart

for me and females that dont give me a chance, and allot of others stuff.

How do I explain this isnt because Im lazy or stupid..... Its because of primary

hypgonadism and getting use to a dark existence early in life.......

I have taken anti depressaints of many kinds. My problem isnt that while If I

stop taking TRT it will be once again.. My problem is over coming my size,

getting confidence, believing in myself, and just doing something I never did

before... Be happy and live life something I hate...

Yea, I know about all of those side effects and more... The learning

disabilities yea I have them also. The sad part is how do you explain all your

limitations to non-specialist that will care enough to understand, and toward

family and other folks who think or thought all you were was LAZY, STUPID, and

didn't want to TRY harder to be successful....

..I'm still scared in how I'm going to explain to a female my size, disformed

chest, lack of education, no job, but yet I will love and support her with my

whole existence...

Me sharing , is not about me.... Im still ashamed for typing what I am...

Its about you not giving up and knowing you are not alone in how you feel and

what this horrible disorder has done.. We all handle it differently.. But it

doesn't take away my compassionate toward another human being in pain and I hope

if I can help lessen it thru words. Take care sir.

Taking the " Kurt Cobain " way out is never the solution.

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[Guest guest]

just keep it quick but yourr post reminds me so much of me ,is it ok if i mail

you personally and we can have a chat ?

well no one knew except me about my testicles,until i reached what americans

call high school[wee call secondary school] it had not been noticieable really.

but then we showered all boys together in sports at school,at arround 11,and i

noticed i was so differant down below in size,how long my foreskin is/size of

prick,especially sometimes flaccid it like just skin and nought else,but they

had testicles i did not.

needless to say iwas butt of many jokes and bullying by boys,and being boys

they told the girls and they too bullied me

one incident 4 girls picked me up in science lab and turned bunsen gas on,undid

my zipper on trousers pumping gas into my genital area,saying " this will make

your balls grow " and things like that.

at age 22 i finally had a break down and got into toruble with the police and i

admiotted to my solicitor about how i felt and how upset i had been for many

years partly dues to no testicles,anywayt we got a surgeon and he said it was

nothing to worry about and ordered the orchidopexy.

but sadly too much phycological damage was done and indeed still is,i hate my

genitals,i never sure if i am more female than male or indeed even human,i call

myself the blob sometimes as thats wht i feel like a fat useluss lump of a blob

who cant do anything right.

anywa going off topic a bit,i am ranting and upset i apologise to all for bweing

such a useless twat.

thank god i have my phycologisit in morning as i am feeling way low

regards paul

Re: i give up

[Guest guest]

Hi sorry to hear this but feel you can get help contact Nick O'Hara

at this site http://www.androids.org.uk/

Just click on his name on the left side he will tell you how to get help.

Phil

paul wey <promachief@...> wrote:

its just too much

my doctor says again my 10.5 was normal last time so whats the problem this time

its a litttle low,little 4.7??

he says even if low it has nothing to do with your lethargy and any of my other

issues

no speiclaist would even look at someone with 4.7 in uk so no point in him

trying

he will do the tests again in 3-6 months time,to see if its lowish again but

said he does not think i have been low all my life,depsite me having to have an

orchidopexy for bilateral undescended testicles,which i can t imagine helped

with testosteron production and my history at various ages weights and sizes of

tiredness/lethargy/focussing

the only thin i did agree on is yes my aspergers/add and dyspraxia have a hand

in all those feelings ansd more but thats it

i said 10.5 is classed as low side of normal but is seen by many experts as

being low and in need of treatment or support,but he said no its not low at

all,only low side of normal,

sbhg he could not find any mention of on the computer notes,and as hed had not

asked for them then it was not a problem.

he was unware of my coming to surgery to get the sbhg addded

in end all he did was wrtie down on a piece of scrap paper 4.7 testosterone and

gave me no other figures,though i have asked for him to just give me a copy of

the full report which i can collect at future date.

on the wayt out i asked to see another doctor,the one who at least put the sbhg

on the blood form,and i will be asking for her to be my doctor in future,i dont

think i can carry on with this one,he is a nice guy but simply does not

inderstand any one of any of my problems and thats not helping me at all

i knoe i am a pain in the arrse and i ask a lot of things not normally done but

i am just trying at 40 to have some sort of life worth having as i dont see

anything good enough for me to be part of this world,no i dont mean suicide i

mean i just want to currl up and ignore the rrest of the world and live a hermit

existence as every time i try and fit in places i never do,i had hoped with my

aspergers/dyspraxia diagfnosie 3 years ago things and coping would improve but

they have not,i just dont feel like part of this world and it just frstrates me

more.

peter or someone if one could write to my new doctor at some point expalining

the situation from the latest UK views on the situation,i dont think even that

would work with my current doctor.

i dont want to use doctors at all if all they do is upset me and get me

angry,thats the last thing i want,so will give a new doctor a go,only if she

accepts 4.7 as low and gets straght on to a specialists ,as probably it will be

6 months or more before i see one anyway,so damend if i am going to wait another

3-6 months for more blood tests again.

i will however accept having blood tests done again next week,and see what they

produce.,but no more waiting just to be at same level in the nhs system.

thanks for your support but my doctor just sees thje internet groups as a waste

of time and talking rubbish,what can i do ???

[Guest guest]

Hey you can personally email me. I don't mind you venting out. It's needed

in our situation. I understand why you feel low and I wish I could offer more

but you are continuing to go to your mental health doctors along with

Endocrinologist; right now It's a matter of patience.

There isn't medication for low esteem and lack of abnormal sexual

characteristics. Depression meds can only do so much in our situation.

The rest is up to us to make better. That's where the complicated part comes

forward.

You can answer me in private toward these questions if you wish.

Have you ever had any kind of relationship with a female or if gay or bi a male?

What is the connection with your family?

Do you have atleast one friend you feel safe towards?

Do you have a below 6 inch penis?

I guess, if we meet the right person that doesn't care about our size, then the

healing and the mental effects of hypogonadism can improve.. But its hard when

you'll still being rejected and have lost hope to heal on your on without care

is if, you are a monster that can't have human connection specially romantic.

Continue to work on yourself . No sense in me giving you links toward TRT

that you are already on and besides, we both know we need more than just links

to improve our lives....

Learn how to control your anger. If you cannot, work with your mental health

doctors and have an understanding toward yourself. Acting out in violence or

else where isn't going to bring an escape toward our situation and yours.

If you need to loose some pounds, do it. Our goal is still to find someone that

will take some of this pain away and make us feel human and valued. The odds are

if overweight it will be more precluded.

Perhaps, you can look into penis excerises and extenders or extensions. Start

now, and come a couple of years with stable focusness some gains can occur.

Work on your ED issues now before God willing you meet a female. Try different

medications both FDA and herbal. Nice google.com can start you off or just ask

for my assistance and I can email you information. I think with us its a matter

of lasting longer then erections given TRT and our ages.

Make sure if God willing someone nice comfronts you, your sensative and

compassionate side flourishes and not anger. We are different... We don't abuse

or cheat in any way... We are sensative given our conditions but angry and

bitter from the side effects. Try online dating services and see who responses.

Get some confidence first.

You have to get away from HS days.... That is behind you. It took me 6 years to

get rid of this girl I fell in love with in HS. Rejection every day and I grew

into a more serious deeper depression that should have killed me, but it didnt.

Find something that can take your mind off of your bitterness and self hatred.

If you have learning problems, seek help for it. Take test and get it on paper.

Don't work if you are feeling this way. Here in America, we have programs that

are good toward folks with disabilities and depression is one. Primary

hypgonadism isnt that known so I would go for serious depression instead.

Find such programs in your country friend.

Just continue to work on yourself. Unfortunately, TRT isnt going to make the

penis grow.... But I believe in hope.

Im here if you need me. later .

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