Guest guest Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 I joined this group a few days ago when my 11-year-old son was suspended from school -- again -- and I needed to know we're not alone. My son, Evan, is in 6th grade. When he was three, he was moved from the two-year-olds to the next class up in day care and he went berserk. He wouldn't calm down and got into all kinds of trouble and I finally had to quit work and stay home with him. At the time he was diagnosed as ADHD. School was a struggle, but he is exceptionally bright and has always done well. We've struggled with homework and being disorganized. He loves to read and has always had problems sleeping. Many times we would have to unscrew his light bulbs because he would climb out of the bed in the middle of the night and read until nearly time for the day to start. He has always been unusual. We thought he exhibited extraordinary powers of concentration since, when he's focused on something, it is nearly impossible to break in -- unless you take his face in your hands and make him look at you when you talk to him. He has always " marched to a different drummer. " A fairly adventuous eater as a small child, he has gradually changed to where there are only certain things he likes. He would eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every single meal, every day if I would let him. I read where someone else said her son wanted plain spaghetti noodles without sauce. Been there, done that. He spent one year of school walking around wearing a beat-up jacket, zipped to his chin, even when it was 85 degrees out. I finally got rid of it only to have him replace it with a black sweat-jacket. He has always had problems at the beginning of the school year and the transition to middle school has been a disaster. The only good thing that has come of it is his teachers are very caring and sincere in their desire to help him succeed. Evan started having a lot of difficulty last school year and this year his pediatrician broached the possibility of him being AS during his check-up. I pulled it up on the web and was stunned: this was my child. Clumsy and slow, he falls down so much his teacher suspected that we beat him (he always has bruises), he obsesses with really oddball stuff -- this year it was amethysts -- and has always kept small objects in his hands. He lines all his toys up in odd arrangements and dismantles everything. I hated when people gave him Legos because he'd build them, then tear them down and stack the blased things everywhere. He likes every day to be the same and misreads people. Sometimes I know he is saying something because he thinks it makes me happy -- some expression of sympathy -- but I know it's rote. He doesn't mean it. He hates loud noises and makes little screeching sounds when I run something loud -- I think he tries to drown out the noise. He says inappropriate things to people and has done inappropriate things, but he is very sweet-natured and lovable. He does have friends -- his best friend is the little boy who lives two doors down -- and they have known one another all their lives. His teachers tell me his classmates like him, but we notice that many times he will choose to play alone. He definitely does not like group activities and prefers working solo. He does brilliant work in some areas, but does not test at the gifted level. His teachers say he is terrified of the testing process. I am more terrified of how he is going make it through middle school. They use a punch card system and if you get so many punches on your card, you don't get to participate in the 9-week-incentives. This time the incentive is a canoe trip, and he really wanted to go. He has missed every incentive trip so far and he was talking in class and the teacher pulled his card. He lost his temper, said some things he shouldn't have and now he is out of the trip. Every one of his really bad blow-ups have somehow been associated with the cafeteria, by the way. We are on the waiting list for assessment with the state (and it's a long one) but he was definitely in the range after the initial assessment. I am positive Evan has AS. It explains so many things. But I am worried about several things: Do you tell your children about the diagnoses and how do they take it? How much of a potential for violence do you see in these kids? My son is a big, strong kid -- really big for his age -- but very, very immature. So far he has only done the kinds of things kids do to one another. But I worry... He is musical and does quite well and that helps balance his life. But, you know, while other people worry about their kids making goals in soccer, I just hope my son can get through the day without another card punch. It is so hard for him because he can never, ever make it through a nine weeks without losing his privileges. And what happens if he never wins? Thanks for letting me unload. It is so helpful to read about kids like my son -- to find out that we aren't nuts. That there is a reason for this. But it's also sobering to realize the road he still has ahead of him. I am sure you've all been there before. Thanks for letting me spout off. I will continue to listen and hopefully learn something. Carole Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 welcome to our world. I have an ex husband that does those things and my daughter who has AS does those things, not so much now with tons of therapy and parent involvement on a obsessive level for my part. but even now we go through those things. We have all those issues plus " girl " issues. It'll work out eventually and the assessment does help. ( ) Intro: Long post > I joined this group a few days ago when my 11-year-old son was > suspended from school -- again -- and I needed to know we're not > alone. > > My son, Evan, is in 6th grade. When he was three, he was moved from > the two-year-olds to the next class up in day care and he went > berserk. He wouldn't calm down and got into all kinds of trouble and > I finally had to quit work and stay home with him. At the time he was > diagnosed as ADHD. > > School was a struggle, but he is exceptionally bright and has always > done well. We've struggled with homework and being disorganized. He > loves to read and has always had problems sleeping. Many times we > would have to unscrew his light bulbs because he would climb out of > the bed in the middle of the night and read until nearly time for the > day to start. > > He has always been unusual. We thought he exhibited extraordinary > powers of concentration since, when he's focused on something, it is > nearly impossible to break in -- unless you take his face in your > hands and make him look at you when you talk to him. > > He has always " marched to a different drummer. " A fairly adventuous > eater as a small child, he has gradually changed to where there are > only certain things he likes. He would eat a peanut butter and jelly > sandwich every single meal, every day if I would let him. I read > where someone else said her son wanted plain spaghetti noodles > without sauce. Been there, done that. > > He spent one year of school walking around wearing a beat-up jacket, > zipped to his chin, even when it was 85 degrees out. I finally got > rid of it only to have him replace it with a black sweat-jacket. > > He has always had problems at the beginning of the school year and > the transition to middle school has been a disaster. The only good > thing that has come of it is his teachers are very caring and sincere > in their desire to help him succeed. > > Evan started having a lot of difficulty last school year and this > year his pediatrician broached the possibility of him being AS during > his check-up. I pulled it up on the web and was stunned: this was my > child. Clumsy and slow, he falls down so much his teacher suspected > that we beat him (he always has bruises), he obsesses with really > oddball stuff -- this year it was amethysts -- and has always kept > small objects in his hands. He lines all his toys up in odd > arrangements and dismantles everything. I hated when people gave him > Legos because he'd build them, then tear them down and stack the > blased things everywhere. > > He likes every day to be the same and misreads people. Sometimes I > know he is saying something because he thinks it makes me happy -- > some expression of sympathy -- but I know it's rote. He doesn't mean > it. He hates loud noises and makes little screeching sounds when I > run something loud -- I think he tries to drown out the noise. > > He says inappropriate things to people and has done inappropriate > things, but he is very sweet-natured and lovable. He does have > friends -- his best friend is the little boy who lives two doors > down -- and they have known one another all their lives. His teachers > tell me his classmates like him, but we notice that many times he > will choose to play alone. He definitely does not like group > activities and prefers working solo. > > He does brilliant work in some areas, but does not test at the gifted > level. His teachers say he is terrified of the testing process. I am > more terrified of how he is going make it through middle school. > > They use a punch card system and if you get so many punches on your > card, you don't get to participate in the 9-week-incentives. This > time the incentive is a canoe trip, and he really wanted to go. > > He has missed every incentive trip so far and he was talking in class > and the teacher pulled his card. He lost his temper, said some things > he shouldn't have and now he is out of the trip. Every one of his > really bad blow-ups have somehow been associated with the cafeteria, > by the way. > > We are on the waiting list for assessment with the state (and it's a > long one) but he was definitely in the range after the initial > assessment. I am positive Evan has AS. It explains so many things. > But I am worried about several things: > > Do you tell your children about the diagnoses and how do they take it? > > How much of a potential for violence do you see in these kids? My son > is a big, strong kid -- really big for his age -- but very, very > immature. So far he has only done the kinds of things kids do to one > another. But I worry... > > He is musical and does quite well and that helps balance his life. > But, you know, while other people worry about their kids making goals > in soccer, I just hope my son can get through the day without another > card punch. It is so hard for him because he can never, ever make it > through a nine weeks without losing his privileges. And what happens > if he never wins? > > Thanks for letting me unload. It is so helpful to read about kids > like my son -- to find out that we aren't nuts. That there is a > reason for this. But it's also sobering to realize the road he still > has ahead of him. I am sure you've all been there before. > > Thanks for letting me spout off. I will continue to listen and > hopefully learn something. > > > Carole > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2003 Report Share Posted April 16, 2003 Hi Carole...my son and your son sound similar. My son is 12 and was diagnosed with AS at age 4. He was always unusual...had his own agenda (even at a young age) and is very bright. He is a picky eater, has been having lots of trouble with authority or being told " NO " lately and I am very leery of his transition into middle school next year. He had adapted very well to his environment...with AS tendencies almost being undetectable. School has been very difficult this year, he and his teacher do not get along. His grades hasve dropped and he has become a behavior problem. He is definitely in the throws of puberty which do not help this situation at all. He does o.k. socially. Doesn't really have one best friend...but tends to have many casual friends. He craves social interaction. He has been hanging around with a girl in our neighborhood lately, who is the same age and in his class. I worry about him being influenced by other young females (not this one in particular) and making not so good decisions. Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2003 Report Share Posted April 17, 2003 Hi - just wondering if this message was meant for Carole?? Your situation sounds a lot like mine, but I'm Donna (dfrancis0002003@...) Re: ( ) Intro: Long post Hi Carole...my son and your son sound similar. My son is 12 and was diagnosed with AS at age 4. He was always unusual...had his own agenda (even at a young age) and is very bright. He is a picky eater, has been having lots of trouble with authority or being told " NO " lately and I am very leery of his transition into middle school next year. He had adapted very well to his environment...with AS tendencies almost being undetectable. School has been very difficult this year, he and his teacher do not get along. His grades hasve dropped and he has become a behavior problem. He is definitely in the throws of puberty which do not help this situation at all. He does o.k. socially. Doesn't really have one best friend...but tends to have many casual friends. He craves social interaction. He has been hanging around with a girl in our neighborhood lately, who is the same age and in his class. I worry about him being influenced by other young females (not this one in particular) and making not so good decisions. Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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