Re: breaking the news to the child

[Guest guest]

> that he/she has autism?>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

I would probably just wait until they ask about it as this is what I

am doing with my son who is 8 yrs old.

Marj

[Guest guest]

When you say " developmentally 4 years old " what exactly do you mean ?

cognitively ? emotionally ?

I don't recall at exactly what age my son started asking for definitions

(and I would wait until the child asks), but when he did around 8, I started

by telling him that he has a somewhat different way of thinking that most of

the time is what gives him his his wonderful original ideas and tremendous

memory capability, and sometimes it causes him problems because either he

can't understand others or others can't understand him....

I don't think you need to " break the news' to the child, rather, wait for an

opportunity when issues of differences come up in a clam conversation and

see if it is " going there " , then you can tlk about it. I hope it helps you

a bit. it IS a tough question.

I think in most cases teh child already knows in his bones taht he is

different and he needs a calming explanation of how he is different , not

why and not labels.

(my own son ended up diagnosing himself, so to speak at, about age 9 - 9.5,

in other words, when HE needed to knwo if it has a NAME he looked for it,

and demanded ot go to an AS expert...he is now 11 and is at the stage of

why do I need this AS? " lol)

F

-- ( ) breaking the news to the child

Has anyone here had experience or know of successful models for

telling a child (11 year old/4 years old developmentally) that he/she

has autism?

Best,

Bill

[Guest guest]

<<<<<<opportunity when issues of differences come up in a clam conversation

>>>>

should read CALM conversation.... sorry

[Guest guest]

Faherty wrote a book called " Aspergers, What Does it Mean

to Me " For kids with HFA and AS. It is a workbook that is very

comprehensive and allows kids to focus on what issues THEY have, no

cookie cutter stuff here. I read it last week and my HFA seven year

old will be doing it soon. All pronoun issues and confusing language

were edited out by adults with autism. It was very enlightening for

ME to read. It depends on what you mean by your child being

developmentally 4. If she acts like a 4 year old socially, so does my

child and I think htis book is fine. If she has not mentally

progressed past four in thought processes, motor skills etc and you

mean more of a cognitive thing, it probably would not be a good time

to tell her as most 4 year olds are not developmentally ready for

this kind of news. HTH You can order the book from the Autism Society

of NC Bookstore. -

> Has anyone here had experience or know of successful models for

> telling a child (11 year old/4 years old developmentally) that

he/she

> has autism?

>

> Best,

>

> Bill

[Guest guest]

>>Being only 4 yo developmentally, I'm not sure that I would spend too much time

on it. I would say it as I would talk about anything else - brown eyes or curly

hair. We told our older ds he was autistic after we had watched a movie in

which a child was more severely autistic. We then told him, " You have a form of

autism just like that boy... " and went on to discuss how it affects people

differently. Sometimes I still say to him, " Most people with autism... " as a

way to introduce to him that what we are seeing is part of having autism. With

my 7 yo, we don't really tell him he is autistic yet but he's never mentioned

wanting to know either. I am in a local support group and I do tons of printing

for our autism activities so it's a wonder he doesn't ask! <<

My almost-6yo son " looks " normal and speaks in a really articulate way, so I am

frequently having to explain that he has autism to people who look confused or

weirded out by any of his odd behaviors or speech. Recently he asked me what

" having autism " means, and I explained very matter of factly that it means that

he sees the world in a special way that sometimes other people don't understand.

He seemed to be completely satisfied by the explanation and hasn't asked about

it again. IMHO if the child asks, then he's ready to hear, but it's also

important to not go into way more detail than the question required. Hope that

helps!