Re: Re: Social Interaction

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/3/03 9:37:42 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

rybabysmom@... writes:

> And he likes to talk, but again only if he

> can chatter away about his interestes. Still mostly monologues.

> I lost my original point! I guess I'm confused on what to do

> next.

>

> a

>

What is the question? I know you were talking about social skills and then

about the school helping him.

My 14 yo is dx'd with HFA. He was afraid of other people and would literally

hide behind me or under tables to not have to face them. It didn't matter if

they were kids or adults or grandparents. It was excessive shyness to the

extreme really. He spent his first year of pre-k hiding. Slowly he has come

out of his shell and improved somewhat. This did not start happening until we

tried meds at age 6.

About two years ago he wanted friends and he made a friend, actually. The

other kid was amazing and would put up with everything my ds did. I could tell

it wasn't easy on the poor kid either. But he kept at it (the friend did.)

So really, the friend made Royce and not the other way around. Still it was

good for Royce. Via that friend, he's gotten into a sort of group of boys. And

they all are into yu-gi-oh or magic cards mostly and they put up with him, he

does behave much better with them, I must say. He does really care now to

have friends.

With my 6 yo, he didn't even notice other people existed for a long time.

One time we had friends over and he never acknowledged them. He later walked

over them to get something on the other side of the couch, as if they were

pillows. He wasn't afraid of anyone/anything. He just never noticed them. He

does notice other people most of the time now but he prefers to play alone. He

does okay playing with other kids because we have taught him how to play and

share. He gets mad when the other kid doesn't follow the " rules " and then he

will have problems when things don't go as practiced. For example if he asked

someone nicely if they will share a toy and they say " no " , then he gets really

upset. They are SUPPOSED to say " Okay, sure! " and share. lol. It's hard to

teach to every single happening. But we are working on it.

Roxanna

ò¿ò

It makes sense to go up the molehill

dressed for the mountain

Nan, the Wiser

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/3/03 2:55:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time, lbohn@...

writes:

> I know a lot of people would just as soon yu-gi-oh and magic cards go by

> the

> wayside, but for , they've been great. He spends his lunch time

> playing

> cards and chatting with a bunch of friends. He does either that, or he chats

> with a

> good friend about books they've read. HOWEVER, now the school administration

> has

> banned yu-gi-oh and magic cards from campus, which for our kids, I think, is

> a

> shame. They don't play for keeps, and it's a nice way for them to socialize.

> I

> think prefers to have friend than not, too.

> Liz

>

Oh, that's too bad! I know they discussed banning the cards at Royce's

middle school also and I just prayed that they did not do it. This is the

ticket

into " social " for him and he's good at it for a change.

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

[Guest guest]

I know a lot of people would just as soon yu-gi-oh and magic cards go by the

wayside, but for , they've been great. He spends his lunch time playing

cards and chatting with a bunch of friends. He does either that, or he chats

with a

good friend about books they've read. HOWEVER, now the school administration has

banned yu-gi-oh and magic cards from campus, which for our kids, I think, is a

shame. They don't play for keeps, and it's a nice way for them to socialize. I

think prefers to have friend than not, too.

Liz

kneeleee@... wrote:

> The other kid was amazing and would put up with everything my ds did. I could

> tell

> it wasn't easy on the poor kid either. But he kept at it (the friend did.)

> So really, the friend made Royce and not the other way around. Still it was

> good for Royce. Via that friend, he's gotten into a sort of group of boys.

And

> they all are into yu-gi-oh or magic cards mostly and they put up with him, he

> does behave much better with them, I must say. He does really care now to

> have friends.

>

> Roxanna

> Ã2¿Ã2

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/3/03 6:08:51 PM Eastern Daylight Time, lbohn@...

writes:

> Oh, that's too bad! I know they discussed banning the cards at Royce's

> >middle school also and I just prayed that they did not do it. This is the

> ticket

> >into " social " for him and he's good at it for a change.

>

Pokemon and now, to a lesser degree Yu-Gi-Oh, has been what GOT

friends. Not that they always hold a " real " conversation, but many times they

do. He

now had three friends. Two of them are a year behind him in the same school

system, so unfortunately, they won't be at the school with him next year, but

the year after, they will. The other one is a GIRL and she is in another

school system.

Connie

[Guest guest]

I am glad they are banning it at m's school. for him, the cards aren't the gate

to " social " but the gate to hellish incidents and outbursts........

Re: ( ) Re: Social Interaction

In a message dated 6/3/03 2:55:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time, lbohn@...

writes:

> I know a lot of people would just as soon yu-gi-oh and magic cards go by

> the

> wayside, but for , they've been great. He spends his lunch time

> playing

> cards and chatting with a bunch of friends. He does either that, or he chats

> with a

> good friend about books they've read. HOWEVER, now the school administration

> has

> banned yu-gi-oh and magic cards from campus, which for our kids, I think, is

> a

> shame. They don't play for keeps, and it's a nice way for them to socialize.

> I

> think prefers to have friend than not, too.

> Liz

>

Oh, that's too bad! I know they discussed banning the cards at Royce's

middle school also and I just prayed that they did not do it. This is the

ticket

into " social " for him and he's good at it for a change.

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

[Guest guest]

Psssst! They play yu-gi-oh anyway. (Don't tell.)

Liz

kneeleee@... wrote:

> In a message dated 6/3/03 2:55:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time, lbohn@...

> writes:

>

> > I know a lot of people would just as soon yu-gi-oh and magic cards go by

> > the

> > wayside, but for , they've been great. He spends his lunch time

> > playing

> > cards and chatting with a bunch of friends. He does either that, or he chats

> > with a

> > good friend about books they've read. HOWEVER, now the school administration

> > has

> > banned yu-gi-oh and magic cards from campus, which for our kids, I think, is

> > a

> > shame. They don't play for keeps, and it's a nice way for them to socialize.

> > I

> > think prefers to have friend than not, too.

> > Liz

> >

>

> Oh, that's too bad! I know they discussed banning the cards at Royce's

> middle school also and I just prayed that they did not do it. This is the

ticket

> into " social " for him and he's good at it for a change.

> Roxanna ôô

>

> What doesn't kill us

> Makes us really mean.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> How many of our kids seem to want to interact socially?

> Esp when in connection to their peers?

My 10 yr (ADD,AS) sounds like many of the others. My probelms is on boy

" bully maybe - manupliator YES). I am telling this so others may beware of

these children that are unknowly infuencial. My son and he played last summer.

They seem to get along but since S. was a little bullyish I monitored them. One

day they were in my sons room and it was quiet. Well I found them with their

pants down discussing and touching. My son was unfaised at my knowledge; the

other child YIKES. They don't play much together S. choice but I kept my door

open for S. so if he is in need one day maybe he'll come to me.

One last thing my son also has a habit of going in and out without letting me

know beyond the first " I'm going out " . Does anyone else have or had this

problem? Outside of putting bells on my front door so I know someone is comign

or going I cannot figure out how to " teach " him about this and how it effects

me. Is he missing? He leaves his sister alone outside and a stranger may take

her> I've tried the best of them and nothing but bells

in NJ

[Guest guest]

The Toys R Us store has yu-gi-oh matches every Sat morning here in Dover.

looks forward to this every week. He won a starter pack the first time he went.

They charge the kids 3.00 to play, but provide prizes. This has been the only

socialization has had since he has been back from residential. We met

with Child Mental Health today it looks like we will be getting an aide for four

hours a week. The aide will take out and do things with him to give him a

break from the house and I get a break from . Things are slowly starting

to get on the right track. Now if the school district will do their

piece................... Barbara

Dawahooz@... wrote:

In a message dated 6/3/03 6:08:51 PM Eastern Daylight Time, lbohn@...

writes:

> Oh, that's too bad! I know they discussed banning the cards at Royce's

> >middle school also and I just prayed that they did not do it. This is the

> ticket

> >into " social " for him and he's good at it for a change.

>

Pokemon and now, to a lesser degree Yu-Gi-Oh, has been what GOT

friends. Not that they always hold a " real " conversation, but many times they

do. He

now had three friends. Two of them are a year behind him in the same school

system, so unfortunately, they won't be at the school with him next year, but

the year after, they will. The other one is a GIRL and she is in another

school system.

Connie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/3/03 7:03:39 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

embroidery4@... writes:

> One last thing my son also has a habit of going in and out without letting

> me know beyond the first " I'm going out " . Does anyone else have or had this

> problem? Outside of putting bells on my front door so I know someone is

> comign or going I cannot figure out how to " teach " him about this and how it

> effects me. Is he missing? He leaves his sister alone outside and a stranger

> may take her> I've tried the best of them and nothing but bells

>

Bells. That's what I did when Reece was younger. He still does walk off on

his own without talking to us. Usually it's when we are shopping. He, so

far, stays in the yard this past year for a change. But a few times, he has

just

wandered off. Luckily, we've always seen him going.

The only suggestion I would have is to write social stories and just keep

pounding it in as a rule, hope it sticks at some point. And never leave him in

charge of his sister!

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/4/03 8:28:23 AM Eastern Daylight Time, kneeleee@...

writes:

> One last thing my son also has a habit of going in and out without letting

> >me know beyond the first " I'm going out " . Does anyone else have or had

> this

> >problem? Outside of putting bells on my front door so I know someone is

> >comign or going I cannot figure out how to " teach " him about this and how

> it

> >effects me. Is he missing? He leaves his sister alone outside and a

> stranger

> >may take her> I've tried the best of them and nothing but bells

>

PLEASE! Do NOT leave him outside alone if he wanders off!! You'd be

devastated if anything happened! IF they can't (aren't) responsible, then don't

do

it. EVER!

Connie

[Guest guest]

When we moved to California, I never let my then 3 year old son play outside by

himself, even though we had a fenced in yard. We had a pool, and even though the

pool was separately fenced off and locked, I worried that he'd find a way into

it. Once he was water safe (about 6) and understood consequences, I let him play

outside by himself. I was never very far away.

Liz

rybabysmom wrote:

How many of ya let your kids(esp ones w/

> dxes) play outside w/o constant supervision?

>

> a

[Guest guest]

a, mine is 10.5

we live in a country where kids play outside in the street all by themselves

from very very young ages

but I don't allow my son anywhere without supervision

there are certain places and people I allow him to visit by himself and even

that not for long periods.

you know your kid and his abilities and difficulties. you judge by it.

F

[Guest guest]

I have 8 and 3 yr old boys. Our back yard is well fenced and surrounded on

all sides by well-known neighbors. Since we have no pool, tall trees, or

potential hazards out there, I feel very comfortable letting my kids go in

and out as they please without supervision.... It also helps that every main

room in the house has a sliding door or window to the back.

Lori

( ) Re: Social Interaction

> >

> > PLEASE! Do NOT leave him outside alone if he wanders off!! You'd

> be

> > devastated if anything happened! IF they can't (aren't)

> responsible, then don't do

> > it. EVER!

> >

> > Connie

> >

>

> This brings up another ? I wanted to ask. I know we all have varying

> ages of children. I have a 9yro and an almost 3yro. I have just

> started letting my oldest play in the backyard(picket fence) by

> himself. And I never allow my youngest out alone. Many of my friends

> think I'm too paranoid. How many of ya let your kids(esp ones w/

> dxes) play outside w/o constant supervision?

>

> a

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi a,

I feel very comfortable having my girls, 7, 6 and almost 3 play in the

backyard together, though we have a fenced yard bordered by known

neighbors. Front yard is ok for my 7 and 6 year old, but it is a quiet

dead-end street. I am a little bit neurotic about my older ones even

venturing up the street alone, even though other kids their age do it

routinely.

Theresa

How many of ya let your kids(esp ones w/

> dxes) play outside w/o constant supervision?

>

> a

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I rarely let my 4 1/2 year old outside alone except to sit on the porch. We

live in a neighborhood with no fences and no sidewalk. It is a very busy

street! I am not really afraid of wandering off or stranger danger as much

as

injury. falls constantly. He has broken his arm falling off playground

equipment, sprained his ankle walking down stairs, and broken his ribs falling

down the back cement steps. That is why he can't play outside by himself. Our

friends and family use the same policy when he is at their houses for the same

reason.