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> This doesn't mean that all the problems are solved, just that I

feel more

> hopeful about Owen's future than I did before the meeting!

> Jill

Jill,

Sounds like you had a really productive meeting. I only wish every

meeting could go that smoothly. Congratulations!

Kathy :)

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In a message dated 5/21/03 10:52:39 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

JillBKern@... writes:

> The IEP meeting this morning went so well, I am feeling very good about it!

>

wow, Jill! It sounds like you have so many people on Owen's side!

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

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In a message dated 6/11/03 8:19:41 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

JillBKern@... writes:

> These people should be fired! Hope your meeting today goes a little

> better,

> but it sounds unlikely. Just try to keep your sanity. Think of us and know

> that we are with you!

> Hugs (and a kick in the pants to those clueless administrators!)

> Jill

>

Thanks Jill. I just cannot believe that they would punish me for following

the due process rights that are legally mine to pursue. They are saying,

" Parents who do not sign the IEP and instead request an IEE will be punished. "

I'm

not sure if they are aware that I really did follow the rules and can't be

punished for doing so. Or do they even care? I don't know! I just get so

tired of them, which is perhaps their objective. Unfortunately, we are talking

about my kids so I cannot very well " give up. " You'd think they would get

that.

I also wonder if I am not being punished for starting an advocacy group

within our local autism group. We have more people " doubling up " to go to

meetings

so parents are not left alone. We have more parents requesting things that

they never knew they could ask for before. And we have books and articles to

share on our rights and the process. I know they are aware that I am part of

that. I'm not sure if that factors into it or not.

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

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In a message dated 6/11/03 10:27:13 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

uplift@... writes:

> you just have to always weigh which one will be in your child's best

> interest.

> I know it sucks. hang in there, and just keep being the Borg we know !!

> Fania

>

Fania, an IEE = Independent Educational Evaluation. Since we were not in

agreement on what Ryder needed, I opted to request an IEE. Then the third party

evaluates him and kind of " breaks the stalemate " by giving a 3rd opinion.

This is part of our law called " procedural safeguards. " Unfortunately, my

school

is choosing to use it as punishment.

Usually here if we do not agree, they will just use the old IEP until things

are settled. But Ryder did not have an IEP yet - this is his first one. So

there is no " stay put " and nothing for them to fall back on.

Roxanna

ò¿ò

It makes sense to go up the molehill

dressed for the mountain

Nan, the Wiser

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In a message dated 6/11/03 6:30:57 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

barb2743@... writes:

> I hope everything went well for you today! (((((((Roxanna)))))))))))))))))

>

> Barb

>

Thanks Barb. Today was not as bad as yesterday but was equally interesting.

After a long drawn out discussion (the same discussion we always have - ugh)

the man in charge of sped for the high school began to lecture me on my

expectations for my son. He told me that kids who are sped have " lower

trajectories " than other kids. It just kept getting worse the longer he talked.

And this

is the guy in charge of sped. Oh joy! My dh told him, " You better stop

talking or start shoveling because it's getting deep in here. " lol.

Roxanna ô¿ô

Autism Happens...

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In a message dated 6/11/03 8:16:26 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

barb2743@... writes:

> ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Did he stop dead in his tracks? I'm sure you all were the

> subject of the day after that comment. Don't these people have children or

> a heart? It really frustrates me that we have to go through all this, and my

> journey is just beginning. sigh Barb

>

LOL. One of the people there laughed quietly, another smiled really big but

this guy just stopped long enough to take a breath and then he continued on as

if he just wasn't getting through to us. lol. I finally had to tell him I

couldn't take anymore special ed for the week and I had to leave. That finally

did make him stop because I stood up and was gathering my stuff. lol.

My dh is pretty good about having the right thing to say at the right moment.

lol.

Roxanna ô¿ô

Autism Happens...

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In a message dated 6/11/03 8:34:12 PM Eastern Daylight Time, lbohn@...

writes:

> This is too much even to hear about. How is it that my autistic 14 year old

> just got an A in

> honors physics? Maybe we've got the trajectory flipped the wrong way. LOL

> This guy is nuts.

> Get him fired.

> Liz

>

ROFL! You mean...you moved the trajectory???? LOL! I don't know if he

allows that to happen! I don't suppose your ds's teachers

actually....:::whisper:::: teach him? I know the thought is shocking...Must be

one of those west

coast new fangled ideas? lol.

Roxanna ô¿ô

Autism Happens...

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>

> I also wonder if I am not being punished for starting an advocacy

group

> within our local autism group. We have more people " doubling up "

to go to meetings

> so parents are not left alone. We have more parents requesting

things that

> they never knew they could ask for before. And we have books and

articles to

> share on our rights and the process. I know they are aware that I

am part of

> that. I'm not sure if that factors into it or not.

>

> Roxanna ôô

Roxanna,

I wouldn't be at all surprised if this fact did factor into their

treatment of you. I've always heard that, if a person should decide

to become a student advocate, don't advocate for students in your

children's school district - too much chance of repercussions.

Nevertheless, you are doing the right thing in empowering other

parents. Hold that thought as you deal with these Neanderthals.

I'm praying that things start to look up for you.

Kathy

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<<<<> I also wonder if I am not being punished for starting an advocacy group

within our local autism group. We have more people " doubling up "

to go to meetings

> so parents are not left alone. We have more parents requesting things that

> they never knew they could ask for before. And we have books and articles to

> share on our rights and the process. I know they are aware that I am part

of > that. I'm not sure if that factors into it or not.>

it may. but you are not doing anything wrong. you are only making sure your

child gets what is due to him BY LAW!and helping others know their rights.

here every IEP/504 includes one parent rep who is a parent of a child who is

in sped, by law, to help the parents get what is due to the child, explain the

process to the parents etc. this parent rep's main role is to watch the meeting

like a hawk and to make sure they do act by law and in favor of the child.

of course it depends who that rep is and how strong (borg) he himself is. I

had one IEP where teh parent rep was great, told tehm how wrong they were to

their face, and backed me when I calaimed tehy lied afterwards about waht went

on during the EP. I ahd another IEP with a rep taht just sat there like a mummy

and I probably knew my rights better than her......but the point I wanted to

make is taht this parent rep can never be from the same district as the child

being discussed. they say it is because of issues of secrecy and disclosure, but

I am guessing they had in mind " revenge " -theme as well.... lol

don't worry too much, you ARE doing the right thing !

and they may hate you for the hassle and work you are causing them, but

secretely they admire you, and at some point, this admiration will work in your

children's favor because they will not be able to efuse too many of your

requests....

F

you are doing the right thing in empowering other

parents. Hold that thought as you deal with these Neanderthals.

I'm praying that things start to look up for you.

Kathy

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I'm sure this is part of the problem. They probably feel like you all are

ganging up on them. BUT if they did their job, and serviced these kids like

they are suppose to, you would not have to go to these measures. I hope

everything went well for you today! (((((((Roxanna)))))))))))))))))

Barb

I also wonder if I am not being punished for starting an advocacy group

within our local autism group. We have more people " doubling up " to go to

meetings

so parents are not left alone. We have more parents requesting things that

they never knew they could ask for before. And we have books and articles to

share on our rights and the process. I know they are aware that I am part of

that. I'm not sure if that factors into it or not.

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

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----- >>>>>>> " Parents who do not sign the IEP and instead request an IEE will

be punished. " >>>>

I don't know what si an IEE, but here you have the right not to sign teh IEP,

even to add your own written ermarks etc, but they can go ahead and have teh IEP

meeting, make teh decisions and decide to implement them, THEN you can appeal,

and the bottom line is you can't make them do what you want, but you can stop

them from doing what they want...... you just have to always weigh which one

will be in your child's best interest.

I know it sucks. hang in there, and just keep being the Borg we know !!

Fania

I'm

not sure if they are aware that I really did follow the rules and can't be

punished for doing so. Or do they even care? I don't know! I just get so

tired of them, which is perhaps their objective. Unfortunately, we are

talking

about my kids so I cannot very well " give up. " You'd think they would get

that.

I also wonder if I am not being punished for starting an advocacy group

within our local autism group. We have more people " doubling up " to go to

meetings

so parents are not left alone. We have more parents requesting things that

they never knew they could ask for before. And we have books and articles to

share on our rights and the process. I know they are aware that I am part of

that. I'm not sure if that factors into it or not.

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

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ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Did he stop dead in his tracks? I'm sure you all were the

subject of the day after that comment. Don't these people have children or a

heart? It really frustrates me that we have to go through all this, and my

journey is just beginning. sigh Barb

kneeleee@... wrote:

In a message dated 6/11/03 6:30:57 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

barb2743@... writes:

> I hope everything went well for you today! (((((((Roxanna)))))))))))))))))

>

> Barb

>

Thanks Barb. Today was not as bad as yesterday but was equally interesting.

After a long drawn out discussion (the same discussion we always have - ugh)

the man in charge of sped for the high school began to lecture me on my

expectations for my son. He told me that kids who are sped have " lower

trajectories " than other kids. It just kept getting worse the longer he talked.

And this

is the guy in charge of sped. Oh joy! My dh told him, " You better stop

talking or start shoveling because it's getting deep in here. " lol.

Roxanna ô¿ô

Autism Happens...

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>

> ----- >>>>>>> " Parents who do not sign the IEP and instead request

an IEE will be punished. " >>>>

>

> I don't know what si an IEE, > Fania

>

it think it stands for Independant Educational Evaluation -

basically it's your right to disagree and request a second

opinion...from someone not associated with the school.

Kathy

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Roxanna,

I'm putting on my horseback riding boots and my spurs and I'm coming out there.

For real.

This is too much even to hear about. How is it that my autistic 14 year old just

got an A in

honors physics? Maybe we've got the trajectory flipped the wrong way. LOL This

guy is nuts.

Get him fired.

Liz

ps. My friend Donna came over today, and was telling me this lovely story about

a Walmart

cashier in the community we used to live in. When Donna was checking out, the

cashier started

in on how the schools were out, and the teenagers were going to be in the store

in HORDES,

and shoplifting would go up by leaps and bounds, not just a little bit, but by

HUGE amounts,

and she went on and on about how much she hated teenagers. Now Donna has eight

children, many

of whom were teenagers at that time, and not one of them has ever been caught

shoplifting.

She tried to talk to the cashier and enlighten her that all kids are not bad

shoplifters, but

the cashier would have none of it. So Donna did the next best thing. She wrote

down the

cashier's name, and wrote a letter to Walmart. About a month later, she got a

letter from

Walmart saying " You won't be having that problem any more. We guarantee it. "

kneeleee@... wrote:

>

> He told me that kids who are sped have " lower

> trajectories " than other kids. It just kept getting worse the longer he

talked. And this

> is the guy in charge of sped. Oh joy! My dh told him, " You better stop

> talking or start shoveling because it's getting deep in here. " lol.

> Roxanna ô¿ô

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>

> ps. My friend Donna came over today, and was telling me this lovely

story about a Walmart

> cashier in the community we used to live in. When Donna was

checking out, the cashier started

> in on how the schools were out, and the teenagers were going to be

in the store in HORDES,

> and shoplifting would go up by leaps and bounds, not just a little

bit, but by HUGE amounts,

> and she went on and on about how much she hated teenagers. Now

Donna has eight children, many

> of whom were teenagers at that time, and not one of them has ever

been caught shoplifting.

> She tried to talk to the cashier and enlighten her that all kids

are not bad shoplifters, but

> the cashier would have none of it. So Donna did the next best

thing. She wrote down the

> cashier's name, and wrote a letter to Walmart. About a month later,

she got a letter from

> Walmart saying " You won't be having that problem any more. We

guarantee it. "

Wouldn't it be nice if we could eliminate the people in our school

systems, who can't be enlightened, with a letter?

Kathy

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Hi,

The Shafer Autism Report has mentioned that California has a database

to keep track of parents who challenge special ed decisions. I'm not

sure exactly what you have to do to get in it - if just being

assertive for your own child will do or if you have to commit the sin

of advocating for others.

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Hi,

Call me cynical, but one of the standard lines our district's special

ed uses " I think the changes we have to make in the classroom make us

better teachers for all the kids " . It would be nice if I felt it was

sincere. Anyway, if this is the case, why aren't they thanking us?

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F

I thought it interesting that when I went to my son IEP meeting his Case worker

(whom is very nice) told me that they don't have to have the meetings every year

(his last one was his first and that was March). She said they were only

required to do it with the parents every three years. She said but we do one

every year anyway. I sat and smiled at her. Then said " well his Dad will

always look for someone to blame if there's a problem " . Some days it's nice to

be divorced and know he make enemies easily. I can be the nice one and use HIM

for fear factor. But if I didn't have the EX it would be nice to have someone

to support me since my meetings are separate from his.

in NJ

Re: ( ) To Roxanna re IEP

<<<<> I also wonder if I am not being punished for starting an advocacy

group within our local autism group. We have more people " doubling up "

to go to meetings

> so parents are not left alone. We have more parents requesting things

that > they never knew they could ask for before. And we have books and

articles to

> share on our rights and the process. I know they are aware that I am part

of > that. I'm not sure if that factors into it or not.>

it may. but you are not doing anything wrong. you

you are doing the right thing in empowering other

parents. Hold that thought as you deal with these Neanderthals.

I'm praying that things start to look up for you.

Kathy

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urgh !! sounds like they need a legal shake-up!

F

Re: ( ) To Roxanna re IEP

In a message dated 6/11/03 10:27:13 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

uplift@... writes:

> you just have to always weigh which one will be in your child's best

> interest.

> I know it sucks. hang in there, and just keep being the Borg we know !!

> Fania

>

Fania, an IEE = Independent Educational Evaluation. Since we were not in

agreement on what Ryder needed, I opted to request an IEE. Then the third

party

evaluates him and kind of " breaks the stalemate " by giving a 3rd opinion.

This is part of our law called " procedural safeguards. " Unfortunately, my

school

is choosing to use it as punishment.

Usually here if we do not agree, they will just use the old IEP until things

are settled. But Ryder did not have an IEP yet - this is his first one. So

there is no " stay put " and nothing for them to fall back on.

Roxanna

ò¿ò

It makes sense to go up the molehill

dressed for the mountain

Nan, the Wiser

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In a message dated 6/11/03 10:25:15 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

uplift@... writes:

> here every IEP/504 includes one parent rep who is a parent of a child who

> is in sped, by law, to help the parents get what is due to the child, explain

> the process to the parents etc. this parent rep's main role is to watch the

> meeting like a hawk and to make sure they do act by law and in favor of the

> child.

>

Here in Ohio, some school districts have parent advocates. These people go

with parents to the IEP. Naturally, my school district does not have any

parent advocates. I heard when some parents tried, they denied the request.

However, we are spreading out in our group and trying to attend IEPs and not

leave parents alone in this. I hope this idea catches on. I am not as good

because I have Ryder at home still. Once he gets in school full time, I will

be able to go to IEPs for others.

<< don't worry too much, you ARE doing the right thing !

  and they may hate you for the hassle and  work you are causing them, but

secretely they admire you, and at some point, this admiration will work in your

children's favor because they will not be able to efuse too many of your

requests....

>>

I think all they think when they see me is, " Ack, here she comes again! "

Actually, I think the same thing when I enter the room for another meeting.

lol.

Roxanna ô¿ô

Autism Happens...

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In a message dated 6/11/03 8:49:45 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

rwinters@... writes:

> About a month later,

> she got a letter from

> >Walmart saying " You won't be having that problem any more. We

> guarantee it. "

>

> Wouldn't it be nice if we could eliminate the people in our school

> systems, who can't be enlightened, with a letter?

>

> Kathy

>

From your keyboard to the IDEA! lol. I do wish we could do that. Life

would work better if people had to be qualified and capable in their job instead

of just kiss up to the right people.

Roxanna

ò¿ò

It makes sense to go up the molehill

dressed for the mountain

Nan, the Wiser

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In a message dated 6/11/03 9:54:29 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

weinert@... writes:

> The Shafer Autism Report has mentioned that California has a database

> to keep track of parents who challenge special ed decisions. I'm not

> sure exactly what you have to do to get in it - if just being

> assertive for your own child will do or if you have to commit the sin

> of advocating for others.

>

lol. I'm sure if you just don't go along like a good parent, you'll get in.

To think the public pays for this kind of stuff!

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

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In a message dated 6/11/03 10:44:15 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

embroidery4@... writes:

> I thought it interesting that when I went to my son IEP meeting his Case

> worker (whom is very nice) told me that they don't have to have the meetings

> every year (his last one was his first and that was March). She said they

were

> only required to do it with the parents every three years. She said but we

> do one every year anyway. I sat and smiled at her. Then said " well his Dad

> will always look for someone to blame if there's a problem " . Some days it's

> nice to be divorced and know he make enemies easily. I can be the nice one

> and use HIM for fear factor. But if I didn't have the EX it would be nice

> to have someone to support me since my meetings are separate from his.

>

> in NJ

>

good answer on your part! But she is not right. An IEP is done yearly. The

MFE can be done every 3 years. Of course, the new changes they are

discussing might change the IEP to every 3 years but I hear the parent can still

request one yearly anyway.

Roxanna

ò¿ò

It makes sense to go up the molehill

dressed for the mountain

Nan, the Wiser

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<<<<<<<I think all they think when they see me is, " Ack, here she comes

again! "

>

yes, but " she " includes " she who won't let us do half-jobs, SHE who cares so

much for her kids, SHE who I don't know if I would have that kind of energy if

it were My own son.... " : and THAT will work in your favor ! never forget !

Fania

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