Re: RAGE

July 30, 2003

Oh Fania,

Can I ever relate!!! I have had many days like that. My experience has

been that the people around me had a tendency to be whispering just loud enough

for me to hear about how " if it were my child.... " Then for some reason I feel

compelled to explain that my son/children have difficulties and we are working

on them.(Not that it is any of their business.)

How old is M? Will he accept not getting the gameboy back? Or will that lead

into more meltdown material. It would on our end.

Just a note, my oldest son, ADHD, becomes very aggressive around

video/computer games. Another note, when my two older children were around 5

and 6 yrs.

old, we got rid of our TV (for 3 yrs.), plus we had no other electronics.

That was the best time. The day the TV was back in the house, the aggression

began again. Sad to say we still have it AND the electronics now.

Debbie in NC

July 30, 2003

I had tears rolling down my face while I read this. Don't be mad, but

I was half laughing, half crying. Sometimes you just have to laugh. I

can " so " picture your day. I've had my share of those. Had one just

yesterday.

As for any electronic device...one word...EVIL! I guess anything

taken to the extreme can be bad. Alot of these kids have poor motor

skills so indoor activities seem to be of more interest to them. Also

most seem to do better alone than in groups so again these types of

activities seem to draw them.

My ds loves his computer, gameboy, etc. The computer taught him alot

as a preschooler. So they are not all bad. Somewhere though we went

from educational games to fun games. At first I thought ok..work on

those imagination and pretend play skills. And heck isn't it good for

fine motor and hand eye coordinaton? Then I thought he does well at

this. It'll build confidence. Maybe it'll earn him a career. Etc. Now

though I seriously consider throwing them ALL AWAY. I forget how old

your ds is, but mine is almost 10. I'd say it's been building up

since maybe age 6. Somewhere in there I realised it was TOO much. He

NEVER wanted to play outside or go anywhere. I use to bribe him w/ a

lil surprise just to get him out of the house. I began to see that he

was obsessing over these games. And the line betwen play and reality

was blurry for him. TV was an issue too. He will ONLY watch cartoons.

Usually ONLY Cartoon Network. Many of those shows are violent and or

magical. Many games tend to be violent or magical. And even alot of

books follow this pattern. Now I enjoy a good Fantasy book and or

movie(love Buffy), but I don't take it literally. Since I did not

have a dx until recently I don't know if he got more violent or

showed more autistic traits during this time. Probably though. As I

know I've continued to limit all electronic time. During the school

yr we are down to just weekends after asking permission. And often

he's grounded. It's the first thing I take away. It gets his

attention. Taking it away can cause more bad behavior(meltdowns and

rages). Letting him play too much nowadays makes me crazy too though.

You can not get his attention. He will tell you he's happy. But often

he gets frustrated and angry. He will yell at the computer. This

seems to get worse w/ age for us. He is uncooperative. And is furious

if he has to stop. Some days are not like that. Sometimes even now he

will play for hours quietly(well he is never quite quiet) and

contently. When he was younger that was often the case. He seemed so

content we tended to let him play it too much. I don't know what

changed. (what caused the frustration, anger, etc) I do know as he

gets older the games tend to be more violent. I try to stick to E for

Everyone games, but he begs for the Teen games. And I've seen him get

mad over a Baby game so I can't say for sure that it is the content

of the game even, but I have my suspicions.

a

PS Water soothes me too. Yet I never learned to swim so I stick to

tubs and wading pools.

]

July 30, 2003

<<<How old is M?>

10.5

< Will he accept not getting the gameboy back?>

he has been frowning bu t nothing serious. we have done this ebfore (rarely).

after a while he " forgets " he has gameboy....... it is amazing.

<<<<<Just a note, my oldest son, ADHD, becomes very aggressive around

video/computer games. >

do you think iti s teh content of the games?

<<<<Another note, we got rid of our TV (for 3 yrs.),>>

we just did it las tmonth, what a blessing !!!

Fania

July 30, 2003

In a message dated 7/30/03 8:07:54 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

uplift@... writes:

> I am wondering what is the connection? maybe the gameboy gets him into this

> obsessive mind set ? or does it happen when something internal gets really

> obsessive and 'finds' the gameboy? can it be that an obsession is

> self-reinforcing, if you know what I mean ? it does not happen when we limit

the gameboy

> for an hour or two a day. but he has been like this for the past week, and

> he is glued to the gameboy (well, not anymore !!!). what do you think ?

> well, in any case the book AS and difficult moments is on its way to me. I

> hope it reaches me BEFORE *I* meltdown.

>

It does sound like the gameboy sets him off. He sounds a little bit like my

6 yo, Reece, with the mouth. Reece will rant and rave over such minor things

sometimes. Then when I try to correct him, he turns on me and says I am

grounded. And he is also stubborn to boot! And of course, being in public

doesn't

stop his mouth from saying it loudly enough for all to hear it. {{Fania}} I

hate days like that! These are the kind of days you want to quit your " job "

only you know nobody else will take it! lol. Hang in there!!

Roxanna

Ã²Â¿Ã²

It makes sense to go up the molehill

dressed for the mountain

Nan, the Wiser

July 30, 2003

In a message dated 7/30/03 9:30:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time, kneeleee@...

writes:

> It does sound like the gameboy sets him off. He sounds a little bit like

> my

> 6 yo, Reece, with the mouth. Reece will rant and rave over such minor

> things

> sometimes. Then when I try to correct him, he turns on me and says I am

> grounded. And he is also stubborn to boot! And of course, being in public

> doesn't

> stop his mouth from saying it loudly enough for all to hear it. {{Fania}}

> I

> hate days like that! These are the kind of days you want to quit your " job "

>

> only you know nobody else will take it! lol. Hang in there!!

>

Yep! I'm going thru it with . He has SUCH a nasty mouth! Bossy and

demanding. I TRY to ignore it, but sometimes you just can't take it anymore. He

will scream and cuss and carry on something awful. It's downright embarrassing

to have him out in public. All the stares. Imagine the stares if I smacked

him, KWIM? Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Connie

July 30, 2003

Ugh, Fania, what a tough day. But it sounds like you handled it brilliantly. You

made it clear to M that his behavior controlled (1) whether or not he ate pizza,

and (2) whether or not he played with his game boy. And somehow you stayed calm

throughout. Bravissima!

Liz

Uplift wrote:

> today everything seemed ok until about 11am. we went to the doctor and M

behaved fine. as we were waiting, we met his former teacher who was very happy

to see him, he was too and they had a little chat. She asked what we were doing

for the vacation and asked: " what happened in the end ? everything is settled?

are they allowing (him) to continue (at school) ? " I thought I would die. I

told her I was never explicitly told he wasn't. [ can you feel my stomach

turning.] then we went into the doc's room and he was fine. THEN we had to

proceed to the office to get some paperwork for the dermatologist, and within

seconds of standing there, he simply started bullying his sister, subtly

pushing her to the wall as we were standing near it (so he KNEW he wasn't to do

so, and was trying to hide his doing), badgering her, speaking nasty and very

loud about her.... nothing I said had any influence on him. Meantime baby n

started pulling out every item from my handbag and throwing them one by

> one on other people's heads. you cannot believe his speed!!! by the time I

gathered what was happening - that m was encouraging him- I already had an

empty handbag. and very angry people staring at me. I grabbed m (can you picture

this ?) and placed him right at the wall, and said sternly : " you do not move

from here. not one centimeter to the left, not one to the right. until I say we

are finished here. "

> he did not budge for the next 5 minutes , just fuming over how I dared shame

him in front of everybody. ..

July 30, 2003

(age 15) is a computer game fanatic. He would play them every hour of

every day if allowed. On vacation days, he is allowed 3 hours of

computer time a day. I know, it's a lot. But that's what we do. He can either

play computer or Playstation with that time. He can earn more computer

time by putting on his bathing suit and swimming in our backyard pool, or by

reading biographies or books of 's or my choosing, or reading the

newspaper, or playing chess with his dad, or going sailing (which he hates -

computer time is a bribe).

used to get very upset over games when they crashed on him, or when he

was doing badly in them. We would just remove him from the game until

he was calmer. (Fortunately he was small enough so that we could do that!) He's

much better about it now. He can verbalize how he feels instead of

completely melting down about it. I wish I knew what made the difference.

Sometimes he will tell me, " Mom my game's not going well, don't bug me

right now. " So I back off and nag him later. LOL

That's just how we do things.

Liz

rybabysmom wrote:

> I had tears rolling down my face while I read this. Don't be mad, but

> I was half laughing, half crying. Sometimes you just have to laugh. I

> can " so " picture your day. I've had my share of those. Had one just

> yesterday.

> As for any electronic device...one word...EVIL! I guess anything

> taken to the extreme can be bad.

July 30, 2003

Fania

WOW!!!!!!!!! What a day for you.

Bravo Mom Bravo

stick to your guns - I think when he realizes how you've stuck to your guns

- he may start to think before he acts out - eventually. It won't happen

overnight but it definitely stacks the cards in your favor.

It works here too. I am sending you a hug {{{{{ Fania}}}}} because I know

how difficult it is. And halfway through the first week - you'll start to

think - ah - does it really have to be two weeks. But if you give in - you

lose. Good luck!!!!!!!!

>>>we finish eating, and to the pizza owner's relief we head to the car.

********that is sooo funny!!!!!!********

>>>but he also needs to know that the family will no longer change all of

its plans to HIS convenience.

***** you are being a very good Mother - because the world will not adjust

to him either, he has to

learn to adjust to the world.

I know that a lot of people on this list disagree with what I am about to

say - Sorry everybody -

BUT - here I go . . . . . . . when I went to see Temple Grandin - hahaha I

told you people that you wouldn't like it - hahaha . . . . . . . anyway- she

said " take all the gameboys, nintendos, sonics, etc, and throw them in the

trash!! " She said in her world - when you have autistic tendencies, your

brain processes things differently. The lights, bleeps, fast moving things

in the game are addictive. Once you start - it is hard to stop. And on

some kids - addictive equals aggressive. If they can't win - aggression.

If they have to stop for dinner - aggression. If they have to go to bed -

resentment and aggression. If they think it should have done one thing and

it did another - more aggression. My girlfriends son is severe ADHD and he

goes nutso when he is playing the game and somebody dare speaks to him. he

would even leave it on when he wasn't playing it because he HAD to hear the

music. He had to know it was close to him. She took it away and the

controls for his nintendo and he has calmed down quite a bit. I know this

isn't true for all kids but, in my own opinion, I think some kids shouldn't

play them at all and most kids should have time limitations.

Anyway, sorry you had such a rough day but I hope this is just your trip up

the ladder and you can look forward to the easy slide down.

Take care

Dawn

I grabbed m (can you picture this ?) and placed him right at the wall, and

said sternly : " you do not move from here. not one centimeter to the left,

not one to the right. until I say we are finished here. "

he did not budge for the next 5 minutes , just fuming over how I dared shame

him in front of everybody. I finished with the paper work.

moving on. to the car. he starts screaming " how much I hate you !! " .

moving on. Borg moms do not take it personally. blame the upping tears on

sarcoidosis, cushing disease, anything the family doctor suggested last week

that I have.

we go to the local pizza place, as it is clear *I* won't make any lunch

today. he yells (yells!) at the pizza man : " give me my pizza!! " I said,

excuse me, but you do not get anything until you ask nicely. he screams: "

what does it matter?!?!?!? " I said it matters while the man at the counter

also says to him : " it matters if you want me to give you pizza " ......... M

went angrily and sat at a table. I swear to you all, I bought pizza and soft

drinks for everyone except him. he could not believe it. He started

screaming and banging on the table. I said calmly (roflol - OUTWARDLY

calmly) : " you do not get anything until you calm down and ask properly "

it took him about 4 minutes and he calmly said: " can I have my pizza now "

yes, you can and get a soft drink too. he went by himself to the counter and

asked nicely in a soft voice for a pizza and an orange juice, now, he KNOWS

he is not allowed orange juice (allergy). I ignore. He sits down to eat and

starts badgering his sister. I warn him to only open his mouth to eat. if he

opens it to speak rudely he will not eat pizza. he screams " HERE!!! I AM

OPENING MY MOUTH AND SAYING SOMETHING!!! " and punches his pizza. I take the

pizza away. he is FUMING but stays in his place. after about two minutes he

tries to grab his pizza back. I take it from him again saying nothing. I am

also not saying anything to all these staring eyes around us.

after another 5 minutes (5!) he says: " can I have my pizza now, please? " I

give him his pizza " of course, as you asked nicely " he says " thank you " (!)

Meantime I am also running about and around baby N who is chasing a cat

between one bite and another. I hate to say so but do I have a candidate for

ADHD here???????

we finish eating, and to the pizza owner's relief we head to the car.

********that is sooo funny!!!!!!********

but he also needs to know that the family will no longer change all of its

plans to HIS convenience.

***** you are being a very good Mother - because the world will not adjust

to him either, he has to

learn to adjust to the world.

NOW - I have noticed this many times: when he plays with the gameboy, if we

allow him to play as much as he wants , he can of course play for days and

nights on end, really obsessively, you cannot get it off his hands, and we

notice that during those crazed days ALL of his behaviour geta so much worst

- more autistic, more rageful, etc.

I am wondering what is the connection? maybe the gameboy gets him into this

obsessive mind set ? or does it happen when something internal gets really

obsessive and 'finds' the gameboy? can it be that an obsession is

self-reinforcing, if you know what I mean ? it does not happen when we limit

the gameboy for an hour or two a day. but he has been like this for the past

week, and he is glued to the gameboy (well, not anymore !!!). what do you

think ?

well, in any case the book AS and difficult moments is on its way to me. I

hope it reaches me BEFORE *I* meltdown.

Fania

July 31, 2003

<<<<<WOW!!!!!!!!! What a day for you.

Bravo Mom Bravo stick to your guns - I think when he realizes how you've stuck

to your guns- he may start to think before he acts out - eventually. >

thank you, I usually do stick.

and my kids know it.

lately though he has eben so much more aggressive and hurtful in what he says .

the psych says he still has a fantasy that his AS willb e fixed, and he is

starting to realize htat is not going to happen. add ot it proeadolescenec taht

kicked in with a vengence.

but I really see a clear connection between teh gameboy insanity and aggressive

behaviour, I jsut do not know if the connection is causative.

<<<<< And halfway through the first week - you'll start to

think - ah - does it really have to be two weeks. >>

oh, no, you do not knwo THIS mom.....lol

<<<<<<***** you are being a very good Mother (- because the world will not

adjust to him either, he has to

learn to adjust to the world.)

I hope I am

I remember once telling a very wise psych who was a friend of mine taht I hope

to be a wise mother when I grow up, and he replied, don't worry about being

wise. be a good mother......lol

<<<<I know that a lot of people on this list disagree with what I am about to

say - Sorry everybody ->>

did I miss something here ?> why >>?

<<<<<<<Temple Grandin .... she

said " take all the gameboys, nintendos, sonics, etc, and throw them in the

trash!! " She said in her world - when you have autistic tendencies, your brain

processes things differently. The lights, bleeps, fast moving things in the

game are addictive. Once you start - it is hard to stop. And on some kids -

addictive equals aggressive. If they can't win - aggression.

If they have to stop for dinner - aggression. If they have to go to bed

-resentment and aggression. If they think it should have done one thing and it

did another - more aggression.>

sounds liek she has been in my house...... wow. I don't know if I would throw

away his gameboy,after all it does help him pass annoying time like very long

rides. but maybe i will limit - say,he can takle it only on rides that are above

1 hour, and play for only half the way ?

<<<<<< he

would even leave it on when he wasn't playing it because he HAD to hear the

music. He had to know it was close to him. >

taht is what happened here in the last few days.

if you talked to him, he would jsut continue playing like he really couldn't

stop. if you demanded that he stops, he would put his hand down , stare blankly

at you, and his hand would be playing on by teh side of his body.......

<<<<<< sorry you had such a rough day but I hope this is just your trip up

the ladder and you can look forward to the easy slide down.

Take care>>>>>>>

Thanks, Dawn

July 31, 2003

<<< Sometimes he will tell me, " Mom my game's not going well, don't bug me

right now. " So I back off and nag him later. LOL>>>>>

That's so cute, Liz!

F

July 31, 2003

In a message dated 7/30/03 11:26:12 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

dayton@... writes:

> He had to know it was close to him. She took it away and the

> controls for his nintendo and he has calmed down quite a bit. I know this

> isn't true for all kids but, in my own opinion, I think some kids shouldn't

> play them at all and most kids should have time limitations.

> Anyway, sorry you had such a rough day but I hope this is just your trip up

> the ladder and you can look forward to the easy slide down.

>

Dawn,

You would have hated our elementary school!! They actually wrote Royce's

gameboy into his BP and he was to get it whenever he was stressing out.

Teachers

would roll their eyes at this and even I was not happy with it - I was afraid

they would use it negatively and that would be really bad for Royce. But the

sped teacher and the autism consultant insisted since it was the only thing

that worked to calm him down. After gameboys were banned at the school, he was

allowed to bring his.

Now he is 14 and he does not need this crutch. He still takes his cards to

school but not the gameboy usually. He seldom plays it anymore really. But he

does still play his nintendo cube a lot.

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

August 19, 2003

In a message dated 7/30/2003 8:07:50 AM Eastern Standard Time,

uplift@... writes:

>

> I am wondering what is the connection? maybe the gameboy gets him into this

> obsessive mind set ? or does it happen when something internal gets really

> obsessive and 'finds' the gameboy? can it be that an obsession is

> self-reinforcing, if you know what I mean ? it does not happen when we limit

the gameboy

> for an hour or two a day. but he has been like this for the past week, and he

> is glued to the gameboy (well, not anymore !!!). what do you think ?

> well, in any case the book AS and difficult moments is on its way to me. I

> hope it reaches me BEFORE *I* meltdown

Fania, my opinion is that this time it was the gameboy that caused the

outburst another time or as he grows older it will be other things. I think it

is

more around not getting what they want at that moment, or something not going

the way they expected at that moment, versus something causing an obsessive

state. It really has to do with how the brain is functioning at that moment and

(in my son's case) it seems to malfunction. What you describe sounds very

similar to my older son's outbursts. Once he gets " set off " there is no way to

really stop it except not to fuel it (verbally). My son does calm down in the

end and acts like nothing has happened. I am beginning to see a slight

pattern with my son when he has not eatern properly or not eaten..still

investigating this one. I wish there was an easy answer for you on this one.

What I've

found it that as he has gotten older I just can't physically remove him or

contain him. What I have found is that every single time I've verbally

continued

the debate or confrontation with him it has gotten worse before better. Pam

July 19, 2006

In a message dated 7/18/2006 10:18:22 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

albrechtfamily3@... writes:

He has been seeing a counselor for a couple of years and she has diagnosed a

mood disorder and thinks that it is OCD.

Albrecht family -

Hi. I have a 15yr old daughter with OCD (just diagnosed this year), our

psychologist said that yes, obsessions can change/morph into different things.

I'm not sure if I've seen this in my daughter - I know she develops new

obsessions, but I haven't related the new ones surfacing to old ones

disappearing.

I don't believe you mentioned in your post - is your son on any medication?

I have heard of some kids becoming violent/aggressive as a result of certain

medications or a higher dose of their meds. Dina brings up a good question

about bipolar - ask your doctor about that too. I would also ask what

experience this therapist has treating OCD (if I remember correctly, the OC

Foundation suggests that a therapist should have about 25% of their patient

base

seeing them for OCD to be considered experienced in treating the disorder --

but

I might not remember that % correctly).

There are a lot of good books out there about parenting a child with OCD,

you should pick one up. I'm going to let another parent recommend one however,

because there are folks on the board who have read a lot more books than I

have & they would have a better opinion on that.

Parenting an OCDer is not easy. It's even more difficult sometimes dealing

with the well-meaning " advice " from friends & family who don't have a clue

what's going on. Punishing a child for their compulsions/behavior without

proper therapy to help them control these things, is much like a parent

punishing

a child with dyslexia for not being able to read (<---- my personal opinion

on this.) There are ways for a child to help control this behavior, but they

need to learn them and that might include medication to help them along.

Just some thoughts.

LT

July 19, 2006

Hi , You found a wonderful site! Everyone here is so helpful.

Has he always had rage? If so, I would find out if he has an allergy

to gluten! Several people I know who have " normal children " that are

allergic to gluten go into " rage " about 3 to 6 hours after injesting

food that has it.. They put up with temper tantrums for a couple of

years before finding this out! Just do a search on rage and gluten

and see what you find.. It can't hurt to rule it out!

Is he on meds? My son had terrible behavior because of that..

I would also get a second opinion.. what type of degree does the

counselor have?

I'm new to this ocd too, but it does sound like the hand washing,

thoughts about getting taken, are ocd.. My son has bad thought ocd...

if he hears something bad, or sees something bad... he'll think. " is

that going to happen to me " ? Your son might have heard about an

abduction on the news or something and now he thinks it'll happen to

him. I'm successfully dealing with these type of thoughts with CBT.

I wish I had more time, but I have to get going... Lauri

>

> Okay this is my first time posting a message. I have no idea how

this really works, but I need to feel like other people understand.

I have an 8 year old son who has displayed behavioral issues since a

very young age.

July 19, 2006

Hi , You found a wonderful site! Everyone here is so helpful.

Has he always had rage? If so, I would find out if he has an allergy

to gluten! Several people I know who have " normal children " that are

allergic to gluten go into " rage " about 3 to 6 hours after injesting

food that has it.. They put up with temper tantrums for a couple of

years before finding this out! Just do a search on rage and gluten

and see what you find.. It can't hurt to rule it out!

Is he on meds? My son had terrible behavior because of that..

I would also get a second opinion.. what type of degree does the

counselor have?

I'm new to this ocd too, but it does sound like the hand washing,

thoughts about getting taken, are ocd.. My son has bad thought ocd...

if he hears something bad, or sees something bad... he'll think. " is

that going to happen to me " ? Your son might have heard about an

abduction on the news or something and now he thinks it'll happen to

him. I'm successfully dealing with these type of thoughts with CBT.

I wish I had more time, but I have to get going... Lauri

>

> Okay this is my first time posting a message. I have no idea how

this really works, but I need to feel like other people understand.

I have an 8 year old son who has displayed behavioral issues since a

very young age.

July 19, 2006

For my dd, YES the behaviors change A LOT. She seems to get over one thing,

then another comes up. She doesnt have the rage issues. My 16 yo ds did when

he was younger. But now, looking back, he had undiagnosed ADHD and that is how

he dealt with it.

Sharon

rage

Okay this is my first time posting a message. I have no idea how this really

works, but I need to feel like other people understand. I have an 8 year old son

who has displayed behavioral issues since a very young age. He has been seeing a

counselor for a couple of years and she has diagnosed a mood disorder and thinks

that it is OCD. I don't really know much about OCD yet. He has alot of obsessive

thoughts. He washed his hands alot this school year and was worried about germs,

but now it is someone taking him. He won't go to sleep in his own room. The

thing I am worried the most about is his rage and aggressive behaviors. Is this

common with OCD? He hits his sisters and can really get out of control fast. Do

symptoms keep changing? I was so glad when he stopped asking, " Is that going to

make me sick " all day long and washing his hands, but now his thoughts are just

about getting taken out of his bedroom. Are behavior problems an issue? How do

yo differently? I give consequences for hitting, etc, but that seems to escalate

his anger and rage. Some days it just gets worse and worse. Hours later he will

apologize, but I feel like I have been through a war. I feel like a bad parent.

I want to understand how his mood disorder affects his behavior so that I can

help him not to get in more and more trouble. I guess I will see if this makes

sense to anyone. Friends give me so much advice, but I feel like no one

understands how he reacts. " Normal " discipline techniques don't work. He just

gets angry so quickly, especially now that he is having sleeping problems. Any

information, suggestions or help are much appreciated. The term OCD has just

come up recently, so I don't really know much.

July 19, 2006

In a message dated 7/19/2006 1:46:44 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

albrechtfamily3@... writes:

He just responds so much more violently than I would expect a " normal " child

to.............but I don't know what all the abbreviations stand for. What

is DD?.................. One, two, three magic and time outs just don't

begin to cut it!

All good point to bring up. One of the many lessons I learned here in this

group, which I have used many times over... is that " 'Normal' is just a

setting on your washing machine. " I don't know why I love that line so much -

but it makes me feel better just saying it. I think it validates the fact that

it isn't that your child is NOT " normal " .... he just has a problem that

causes behavior that you don't see in most other people. You mention he has

actually asked you to help him stop the thoughts - my DD (DD -darling daughter;

DH - darling husband; DS - darling son ) also would cry & ask us to help her

make it go away. Just know that they ask for your help because they are

confused & scared by what " something " is making them do or say. This is not

something our kids asked for. You think you're confused & frustrated? Think

about how your kid feels. Doing or saying horrible things to the people you

love

most & you not only don't know why you're doing or saying these things, you

can't stop it but you want to.

As I said before, punishments aren't going to work because this is not

behavior in a child who is simply acting out for attention or who wants to be

mean. Your boy needs to learn how to retrain his brain to handle these

thoughts.

That's what therapy is for. You say your therapist (I'm assuming it's a

psychiatrist because he's on meds) is very good - but you really need to check

on how much experience he/she has specifically treating OCD. It is very

specialized & not everyone with a psychology degree knows how to do this.

We've

been through 2 psychologists - our first one had no experience whatsoever

with OCD, the 2nd does, but didn't believe in ERP (exposure response

prevention)

and the CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) was just not enough to help her.

So, having the right doctor for this particular disorder is very important.

Hang in there. I'm hoping some other parents have recommended some books

for you - I don' t read every post anymore -- no time!

LT

July 19, 2006