Re: back for a short while

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/21/2003 10:03:38 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

beitchazen@... writes:

> sometimes even borg moms need a pat....... ;-(

> F

> PAT PAT for Fania, I am sorry to hear things are not going so well

for M , But you know in times of stress, and this sounds like a rough couple of

weeks for M that the bad behaviors and such come back. Sending

((((((((((((((Hugs))))))) your way ,

[Guest guest]

<<<<> Let me start by saying that I'm glad to " see " you this

> morning. I've been worried with what all has been

> going on over there. Where do you live? I get kind of

> worried about you and your family.>

thank you, Melinda, we live more or less in the northern part of the center

of the country......... :-)

the latest bombing did catch dh on his way back home from work. he passes by

the bombed mall every day at that time, so I was dead-worried until he got

home (very late because of the police activity roads were closed etc.) he

said he " missed " the bombing by two streets, that is, just a matter of a

minute or so determined he would not be were he usually is at that

hour......

I am trying not to dwell on it. now that you mentioned it, it must have

also affected ds!! we had so many bombings and deaths in the past few days.

> I am sorry that this has gone on with M. But what do

> they expect with the inconsistancy. I think it would

> drive me nuts without any aspie tendencies!>

I agree!!

> As for the medication. ..... He was also put on Risperdal, but we didn't

> see any changes in that except that it made him very

> sleepy. And it puffed him up really quick.>

M gets very sleepy for the first few hours after taking it, which is why he

chose to take it at bedtime. he is concerned about this, he has also put on

a few kilos since he started on Risperdal 5-6 months ago.

<<<<<< He was very

> obstinant and did not want to comply in a lot of

> things. >>

oh, we get that too !

<<<I would have to threaten calling the police to

> get him to come home.>

well, in our case it is enough to remind him firmly enough who is the parent

and who decides........ so far.......

<<< So, as you can see, it depends on the child's

> chemistry and what the body does with the medications.

> It can be a roller coaster finding the right

> medications and being able to stay with them.>

yes, this was one of my major concerns before we agreed to try meds.....

> Good luck with the IEP. I will pray that they will be

> able to continue with the aide. It should be obvious

> that he needs it and they should provide it. I know,

> easier said than done.>

thank you, I will keep you posted !

F

[Guest guest]

> when asked , he says he does not know what is happening, that he

feels " his body is nervous " and that he does not feel like his old

self.

> the teachers and dh and I have also noticed he is laughing a weird

laughter that he cannot control, and saying things that leaves the

other kids and teachers very uncomfortable, it feels " crazy " . of

course the kids started calling him " crazy " and he is back to " why

was I born at all " .

> to make things worse, one of the kids in class that is giving him

hell lately is the child of the reporter who wrote all the bad stuff

on him in the news last time, of rthose who remember the chaos we

overcame.......

> I am at my wits end. he really is not doing it on purpose, he is

telling us clearly something he cannot control is going on.

> We spoke to the psychiat and she upped his med to 1mg. and will see

him next week.

> For those who had to up their child's med - how long after you

started on the meds did you have to up the dosage ? by how much ?

> what were the signs that lead the doc/you to up it?

> did the child regressed in behaviour or were there new things

showing up?

> how did the child adjust to the new dosage?

> my son is very worried that he will be sleepy (he already gets very

sleepy when taking less.

Hi Fania,

I'm soooo sorry to hear that things have been so difficult lately.

When started the Risperdal, he needed the dosage upped a couple

times in the first few moths. I was really getting worried because I

feared that he'd never get stabilized at a dosage and I didn't want

him on too high a dose. But he's been on the same dosage now for

almost a year.

I would know that he needed his dosage upped because he would start

to act irrational again - too nervous, quick to anger, inflexible,

even paranoid. There was no reasoning with him. Then I would ask

him if he felt that the meds weren't helping anymore. And he could

tell me that they weren't. He knows when he feels calmer and when

he's feeling that nervous feeling that M so eloquently describes.

Certainly, the crazy schedule in school could be adding to his stress.

Once the meds were increased, we would see the results instantly -

The same day.

Does M take the Risperdal in the morning? I switched to taking

it in the evening. That way he goes to bed and the sleepy side

effect isn't as evident in the daytime. Risperdal is a drug that

goes through the system very slowly, so you should be able to get

away with that too. You might want to talk to your psych about it

once you get the dosage stabilized again.

Again, I'm sooo sorry to hear that you're going through this. I am

sending some hugs and prayers your way.

love,

Kathy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/21/03 10:04:32 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

beitchazen@... writes:

> Anyway, as usual, would appreciate your ideas, not to mention your

> encouragement.

> sometimes even borg moms need a pat....... ;-(

>

Hang in there, Fania! I wonder if, when the days are so mixed up like they

have been, he can have a shortened school day? Then perhaps he can do some

of his work at home to make up the difference.

I honestly don't have ideas for this one except that the teachers need to get

their strike over with already and things back to the routine. Poor Mattan!

Roxanna

ò¿ò

It makes sense to go up the molehill

dressed for the mountain

Nan, the Wiser

[Guest guest]

Fania,

I'm sorry to hear that M has been having such a rough time lately. Stress is

really the enemy of our kids. had an upswing in his depression a while

ago, and had to have his antidepressant and his antiseizure med increased (his

antiseizure med does double duty both as an antiseizure med and as a mood

stabilizer). He's doing much better now. Sometimes kids (and adults too) seem to

escalate these symptoms in the spring. Don't know why. I hope the meds help him

feel better soon.

((((hugs))))

Liz

beitchazen wrote:

> Hi, friends! I am back for a very short while......

> sorry for being away for quite long, you will soon understand why.....

> M was doing really well at school, until......

[Guest guest]

{{{{{{{Fania}}}}}}}}

I find it interesting that one of the kids causing trouble for M is the

child of the reporter who wrote all that bad stuff about M. Sounds like

that family is a bit prejudiced against him.

I agree with Jill that something needs to be done about the other kids.

That sort of teasing should not be tolerated. (Actually, any teasing

shouldn't be tolerated). I wouldn't want what happened to to happen

to M. is afraid of other kids - one of the reasons why she doesn't

like to go to school. She's afraid she's going to be teased/picked on.

She does like the 'school' she is going to now. (It's actually a 'tutoring

center') But that is because there are no other kids for her to worry

about. She even got a little upset when I told her that she wouldn't have

school next Monday (Memorial Day here in the US). Unfortunately, this is

only a temporary placement. We're still looking for a residential placement

for her. It seems like every place we try says 'if only we could have

gotten her 4 or 5 years ago.

Anyway, I hope the teachers come to their senses soon.

Patti R.

[Guest guest]

Fania,

I will keep you and Mattan in my thoughts and prayers. I hope this increase in

his meds will also help him. Kids can be so cruel, and no child should have to

put up with that. Where were the teachers when this was going on? With the

increase in security, our teachers wait outside with the kids until they are all

on the buses, or have been picked up by the responsible adult. Hopefully

tomorrow they will leave M alone. Good Luck! Barbara

beitchazen <beitchazen@...> wrote:

Hi, friends! I am back for a very short while......

sorry for being away for quite long, you will soon understand why.....

M was doing really well at school, until...... you recall he had difficulty with

the three week vacation. then when they were supposed to go back to school,

strikes started. of the worse type. that is, they would announce in the news way

past midnight and sometimes even only in the morning , on day to day basis,

whether or not schools would be on strike that day, in addition, it could change

daily: no school at all, school starts at 9 or ends earlier etc....... you can

imagine the turmoil it caused to my precious kid with AS. since then it has gone

down hill. today was the peak, he threw stuff on the kids, he " elbowed " the

teacher when she tried to calm him down, etc. when I came to pick him up, lucky

I was there, he came running out the gates of school, with 6 or 7 boys from his

class running after him and wanting to hit him.

when asked , he says he does not know what is happening, that he feels " his body

is nervous " and that he does not feel like his old self.

the teachers and dh and I have also noticed he is laughing a weird laughter that

he cannot control, and saying things that leaves the other kids and teachers

very uncomfortable, it feels " crazy " . of course the kids started calling him

" crazy " and he is back to " why was I born at all " .

to make things worse, one of the kids in class that is giving him hell lately is

the child of the reporter who wrote all the bad stuff on him in the news last

time, of rthose who remember the chaos we overcame.......

I am at my wits end. he really is not doing it on purpose, he is telling us

clearly something he cannot control is going on.

We spoke to the psychiat and she upped his med to 1mg. and will see him next

week.

For those who had to up their child's med - how long after you started on the

meds did you have to up the dosage ? by how much ?

what were the signs that lead the doc/you to up it?

did the child regressed in behaviour or were there new things showing up?

how did the child adjust to the new dosage?

my son is very worried that he will be sleepy (he already gets very sleepy when

taking less.

with all this happening, it is amazing that he has managed to keep 2 of his

friends, and make 2 new ones!

yesterday he had a new friend form class come over, they put up a tent in the

back yard and played for 4 hours very nicely, while I made a bonfire for them,

and prepared hotdogs and fries.

he can be the old sweet self for hours and then if you ask him something or call

his name twice or something as little as this, he erupts in a shriek or a scream

that sounds like a wounded animal.

they did up the demands at school, and no doubt it has put him under a lot more

stress, and the AS expert that guides the school on his behalf says that all his

behaviours are typical of AS and typically come out in times of great stress.

great. you and I can understand that but the children in his class are not

exactly grasping it. again he is turning into the scapegoat, and his behviour is

not helping.

at school they have decided to start weekly conversations with the class to

allow them to vent and also explain to them what is going on.

I am not sure it will be enough......

tomorrow we have an IEP. it is going to be a big fight to get them to continue

the personal aid next year.

Anyway, as usual, would appreciate your ideas, not to mention your

encouragement.

sometimes even borg moms need a pat....... ;-(

F

" You can only go halfway into the darkest forest.

Then you are coming out the other way. "

Chinese Proverb

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/22/03 8:08:59 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

beitchazen@... writes:

> " I take responsibility. approve it! "

>

Fania! This is fantastic news!!!!!! Yes!

Roxanna ô¿ô

Autism Happens...

[Guest guest]

Dear Fania,

I am sorry to hear about what you all are going through. I do not

have any suggestions, but please know that you and your family are in

my prayers. May God guide you through this difficult time. Sending

you cyber hugs.

Lydia

[Guest guest]

<<<<< Sometimes kids (and adults too) seem to escalate these symptoms in the

spring. Don't know why. I hope the meds help him feel better soon..

Liz, i have noticed this !@ I think it has to do with the fact that as

spring arrives there is a general feeling of tingling inside of renewal, of

new energies, etc, and i think they feel it , are affected by the

" commotion " but don't understand it.

thank you for your words and hugs..

F

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/21/2003 7:04:26 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

beitchazen@... writes:

> Anyway, as usual, would appreciate your ideas, not to mention your

> encouragement.

> sometimes even borg moms need a pat....... ;-(

> F

>

Fania, (((((((HUGS)))))))

I hope things calm down for you and M soon. Keep us posted, okay.

Thinking of you!

Johanna

[Guest guest]

>

> we did have the IEP this morning and it was quite a new experience!

> within about 20 minutes they all agreed that both the school and M

have been

> doing a remarkable job, they all agreed *he is to continue to get

the same

> help next year* (and this is after everywhere here they are taking

away aid

> hours etc because there is no money etc.) I was stunned. then the

sped rep

> said that if he is to get all this help next year he has to be 2/3

of the

> time in teeh sped class by law , at whioch point all 4 school reps

that were

> there yelled in unison : " he does not need that ! he is not a sped

student!

> he needs to remain in the regular class, but get this help " , and

finally

> they called the sped supervisor and asked her if it is legally

possible to

> get all this help without being officially in sped, and she simply

answered

> : " I take responsibility. approve it! "

> I was stunned! it was the first time ever in my life that I did not

have to

> fight nor beg to get him the help he needs.......

> He had a fair day today (now on 1mg med) at school, and I hope he

will calm

> more as the new dosage has its effect.....

>

> F

Wow! Fania, it is so encouraging to see the support is still with

you and M at this school. I am so happy to hear that - and I am

thrilled to her that the 4 school reps were so willing to stand up

and insist on M getting what is best for him. And kudos to the sped

supervisor too!!! Send that woman some flowers.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

<<<Hang in there, Fania! I wonder if, when the days are so mixed up like

they

have been, he can have a shortened school day? Then perhaps he can do some

of his work at home to make up the difference. >>>>>>

he already does. he finishes one hour before the class .

and he completes classwork with his aide.

but there is also the question of how much to be different from his

clasmates, to be out of his regular class, without it being detrimental to

how he is looked upon in class, or without breaking the so important

continuity, etc........

I guess that just like our world is enigmatic to him, so are his needs to

the system sometimes.......

we did have the IEP this morning and it was quite a new experience!

within about 20 minutes they all agreed that both the school and M have been

doing a remarkable job, they all agreed *he is to continue to get the same

help next year* (and this is after everywhere here they are taking away aid

hours etc because there is no money etc.) I was stunned. then the sped rep

said that if he is to get all this help next year he has to be 2/3 of the

time in teeh sped class by law , at whioch point all 4 school reps that were

there yelled in unison : " he does not need that ! he is not a sped student!

he needs to remain in the regular class, but get this help " , and finally

they called the sped supervisor and asked her if it is legally possible to

get all this help without being officially in sped, and she simply answered

: " I take responsibility. approve it! "

I was stunned! it was the first time ever in my life that I did not have to

fight nor beg to get him the help he needs.......

He had a fair day today (now on 1mg med) at school, and I hope he will calm

more as the new dosage has its effect.....

F

[Guest guest]

<<<<< I find it interesting that one of the kids causing trouble for M is

the

> child of the reporter who wrote all that bad stuff about M. Sounds like

> that family is a bit prejudiced against him.>

I don't think the mother is agianst him. I am not even sure she new HIM at

the time she wrote ABOUT him, she did write a lot of things that she

probably got from gossip and that weren't at all correct........

I know she complained to the principle, but I am going to be positive.

teh school's attitude is that the class is getting even more from M's

presence than M is getting from his integration into the class. they are

learning to be better persons. and I think this attitude is prescious. and

with such an attitude, who knows, maybe I will suceed to even get the

reporter on his side to get more for him and his class.........

> I agree with Jill that something needs to be done about the other kids.

> That sort of teasing should not be tolerated. (Actually, any teasing

> shouldn't be tolerated).>

it is not being tolerated. teh school is really into " safe environment " etc.

but the budgets here are so poor that you wonder how teh schools manage

anyway.....

<<<<< is afraid of other kids - one of the reasons why she doesn't

> like to go to school. >>>

but ds has learned that when he acts crazy THEY are afraid of him, so when

he gets scared or bewildered, he automatically acts crazy as a defense

mechanism. he picks on teehm before they manage to pick on him....we are

working on that.

<<< It seems like every place we try says 'if only we could have

> gotten her 4 or 5 years ago.>>>>

argh..........

by the way, the strikes were system wide, not just teachers, but everything:

banks, government offices, garbage collection, etc.......

the strikes ended this week. meantime.

[Guest guest]

<<<<<Kids can be so cruel, and no child should have to put up with that.

Where were the teachers when this was going on?>

recess. (he leaves an hour before class, at teh time the class has tehir

last recess).

of course.

[Guest guest]

> <<<<< Sending

> you cyber hugs.>

thanks, Lydia, we all know that even just knowing we have each other on this

list helps!

F

[Guest guest]

> " I take responsibility. approve it! "

>

Fania! This is fantastic news!!!!!! Yes!

yes, Roxanna!

the battle is still not over. she just approved his need for it and now the

ministry of Ed has to promise to pay for it.........

but usually they do if it is so clearly recommended.........

F

[Guest guest]

Fania, I'm so happy that it was a good day for M, and that his needs will be

meet next school year! Barbara

Kathy Winters <rwinters@...> wrote:

>

> we did have the IEP this morning and it was quite a new experience!

> within about 20 minutes they all agreed that both the school and M

have been

> doing a remarkable job, they all agreed *he is to continue to get

the same

> help next year* (and this is after everywhere here they are taking

away aid

> hours etc because there is no money etc.) I was stunned. then the

sped rep

> said that if he is to get all this help next year he has to be 2/3

of the

> time in teeh sped class by law , at whioch point all 4 school reps

that were

> there yelled in unison : " he does not need that ! he is not a sped

student!

> he needs to remain in the regular class, but get this help " , and

finally

> they called the sped supervisor and asked her if it is legally

possible to

> get all this help without being officially in sped, and she simply

answered

> : " I take responsibility. approve it! "

> I was stunned! it was the first time ever in my life that I did not

have to

> fight nor beg to get him the help he needs.......

> He had a fair day today (now on 1mg med) at school, and I hope he

will calm

> more as the new dosage has its effect.....

>

> F

Wow! Fania, it is so encouraging to see the support is still with

you and M at this school. I am so happy to hear that - and I am

thrilled to her that the 4 school reps were so willing to stand up

and insist on M getting what is best for him. And kudos to the sped

supervisor too!!! Send that woman some flowers.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

thanks, Johanna.

don't know about calming down, he is now in his room with his girlfriend and

he is laughing that weird laughter, and I don't see yet the effect of the

increased dosage of med. but we are watching....... :-0)

F

[Guest guest]

yeah, this was a good IEP...

F

[Guest guest]

<<<<< I find it interesting that one of the kids causing trouble for M is

the

> child of the reporter who wrote all that bad stuff about M. Sounds like

> that family is a bit prejudiced against him.>

JUST A THOUGHT...

Why not write a letter to the editor. Get backup from others who read the

article and disagree. Get them to write also. You can ask for a retraction or

take a wait and see attitude.

Good Luck

[Guest guest]

Congratulations! This a great for you and your son. Take care,

/IL

Kathy Winters <rwinters@...> wrote:

>

> we did have the IEP this morning and it was quite a new experience!

> within about 20 minutes they all agreed that both the school and M

have been

> doing a remarkable job, they all agreed *he is to continue to get

the same

> help next year* (and this is after everywhere here they are taking

away aid

> hours etc because there is no money etc.) I was stunned. then the

sped rep

> said that if he is to get all this help next year he has to be 2/3

of the

> time in teeh sped class by law , at whioch point all 4 school reps

that were

> there yelled in unison : " he does not need that ! he is not a sped

student!

> he needs to remain in the regular class, but get this help " , and

finally

> they called the sped supervisor and asked her if it is legally

possible to

> get all this help without being officially in sped, and she simply

answered

> : " I take responsibility. approve it! "

> I was stunned! it was the first time ever in my life that I did not

have to

> fight nor beg to get him the help he needs.......

> He had a fair day today (now on 1mg med) at school, and I hope he

will calm

> more as the new dosage has its effect.....

>

> F

Wow! Fania, it is so encouraging to see the support is still with

you and M at this school. I am so happy to hear that - and I am

thrilled to her that the 4 school reps were so willing to stand up

and insist on M getting what is best for him. And kudos to the sped

supervisor too!!! Send that woman some flowers.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

Congratulation on your successful meeting!!! Lynn

<susejevolieveryday@...> wrote:Congratulations! This a great for

you and your son. Take care,

/IL

Kathy Winters <rwinters@...> wrote:

>

> we did have the IEP this morning and it was quite a new experience!

> within about 20 minutes they all agreed that both the school and M

have been

> doing a remarkable job, they all agreed *he is to continue to get

the same

> help next year* (and this is after everywhere here they are taking

away aid

> hours etc because there is no money etc.) I was stunned. then the

sped rep

> said that if he is to get all this help next year he has to be 2/3

of the

> time in teeh sped class by law , at whioch point all 4 school reps

that were

> there yelled in unison : " he does not need that ! he is not a sped

student!

> he needs to remain in the regular class, but get this help " , and

finally

> they called the sped supervisor and asked her if it is legally

possible to

> get all this help without being officially in sped, and she simply

answered

> : " I take responsibility. approve it! "

> I was stunned! it was the first time ever in my life that I did not

have to

> fight nor beg to get him the help he needs.......

> He had a fair day today (now on 1mg med) at school, and I hope he

will calm

> more as the new dosage has its effect.....

>

> F

Wow! Fania, it is so encouraging to see the support is still with

you and M at this school. I am so happy to hear that - and I am

thrilled to her that the 4 school reps were so willing to stand up

and insist on M getting what is best for him. And kudos to the sped

supervisor too!!! Send that woman some flowers.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/23/03 4:30:55 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

beitchazen@... writes:

> it is just unnerving to know she is the mother of a classmate this year,

> and

> that this classmate and ds are not getting along. that's all.

>

yes, unnerving is a great word for that!

Roxanna ö¿ö

" ...don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he'd

ever wished for...

He lived happily ever after. "

Willy Wonka

[Guest guest]

the articles were written half a year ago.......

the reporter did not do anything right now.

it is just unnerving to know she is the mother of a classmate this year, and

that this classmate and ds are not getting along. that's all.

Re: ( ) back for a short while

>

> <<<<< I find it interesting that one of the kids causing trouble for M

is

> the

> > child of the reporter who wrote all that bad stuff about M. Sounds

like

> > that family is a bit prejudiced against him.>

>

> JUST A THOUGHT...

> Why not write a letter to the editor. Get backup from others who read

the article and disagree. Get them to write also. You can ask for a

retraction or take a wait and see attitude.

>

> Good Luck

>

>

>

>

>