Re: Re: Husbands at meeting

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone. Wouldn't it be wonderful if our husbands were more involved? i

agree but this one time it was wonderful not to have Joe be involved. Yesterday

I was dealing with Medical Assistance in Philly since we are moving. Back in

Feb I wrote them a letter stating the date we were moving as well as our address

and please forward the records, etc. Well the dumb ass case worker did it

immediately. I had no idea until yesterday that is in MA limbo! I

called him immediately and he told me Joe called him personally and okayed

this!!! I called the guy a liar and told him " my husband does not handle the

children's medical info and I wrote you the letter and followed up with a phone

call " . He said I don't lie to anyone. His name is Joe and he called me. Well

the only reason he knew that is because Joe did the initial paperwork because

our regular insurance is in his name not mine.

That will probably be the only time when it would be okay not to have the dads

involved.

( ) Re: Husbands at meeting

Johanna,

Well, you're right. I do think that, even as useless as they are at the

meetings, it may at least open their eyes to the reality that their is a problem

and to the kind of stress we are under daily in just trying to get them through

school. Plus, it doesn't hurt for the husbands to see us taking command of a

situation once in awhile...just to remind them of how lucky they are to have us!

Kathy:)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/16/2003 2:14:54 PM Eastern Standard Time,

shamrocks0627@... writes:

> Wouldn't it be wonderful if our husbands were more involved?

I highly recommend the dad's being involved or at least attending the

meetings. When we went to due process two years ago...one of the school

district's tactic was to prove that my husband was " uninvolved " ...it was very

nasty. I had always been the one handling the school stuff until then. Now

he comes to meetings. He is usually very quiet and doesn't say too

much...but he is there in body. Pam

[Guest guest]

Valid point, Darren!

Johanna

In a message dated 5/6/2003 6:10:51 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

columbiamocowboy@... writes:

> The teachers and specialists I deal with at school always seem to think it

> pretty odd do deal with a dad more than a mom, it's sorta backwards in

> their mind, I guess. It's the way we've always done it since I have some

> background in education and know my way around IDEA and ISPs and all that

> jazz. I'm a little intimidating naturally anyway (I'm 6'7 " and about 300

> pounds) and I'm sure a few folks were probably freaked out the first time I

> walked into a meeting by myself. When we started at grade school 7 years

> ago they still had a list of " classroom moms " at the front office...it's

> long ago been changed to " classroom parents " because I made so many

> sarcastic comments about being the classroom mom with a beard.

> Even if dads don't get to bringing cupcakes to a Halloween party or riding

> on a school bus to Jeff City (as I'll do today) or Hannibal (next week)

> showing up at the meeting at least shows that you give a darn, and makes it

> a lot less likely that the other parent will get pushed around by others.

> Public education is pretty badly underfunded, and services for our kids

> with special needs are expensive. Your kid may well not get the help he or

> she needs unless you fight for it, and that's so much harder to do by

> yourself. It's also very good to have both there if you're prone to getting

> angry and expressing that anger in colorful ways. There've been several

> instances in these meetings where I have this feeling if my wife had been

> in there alone they've have had to bring in a SWAT team. I tend to be a

> little more diplomatic, and the two of us together make a pretty good team.

> If your spouse just can't make the meetings for whatever reason, you should

> at least discuss the meetings in earshot of the kids, who need to know that

> both parents are " fighting " for them at the school and are interested in

> their well-being above and beyond all those other kids, that you won't let

> them just slip through the cracks or be treated as a nuisance instead of a

> child just as worthy of educating and effort as all the other kids. Single

> parents can check with your county, ours has a service called " Boone County

> Group Homes " and they'll provide an advocate for you who'll meet with you

> and the child and attend IEP meetings with you so your rights and your

> child's rights are protected. Darren

>

> ppanda65@... wrote:In a message dated 4/16/2003 2:14:54 PM Eastern

> Standard Time,

> shamrocks0627@... writes:

>

> >Wouldn't it be wonderful if our husbands were more involved?

>

> I highly recommend the dad's being involved or at least attending the

> meetings. -

>

[Guest guest]

Well, I think both parents need to be active and vocal at all meetings to

show more unity and purpose there are usually several people from the schools

present and will do their best to dictate and intimidate one parent alone.

Charlie

(Mason's Dad)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/8/03 7:22:53 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Charliesteele222@... writes:

> Well, I think both parents need to be active and vocal at all meetings to

> show more unity and purpose there are usually several people from the

> schools

> present and will do their best to dictate and intimidate one parent alone.

>

>

> Charlie

> (Mason's Dad)

>

Hi Charlie,

I agree it does help to have both parents. Another option is to bring a

friend or an advocate (or both) so you at least have someone there who is on

" your " side and can help you express yourself.

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/8/03 10:43:10 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

columbiamocowboy@... writes:

> It means both partners have to compare notes before hand, and both partners

> must understand one clear rule...if we don't see eye to eye on a particular

> issue, we cuss and discuss OUTSIDE the meeting.

Darren,

I have a problem with my dh doing this sometimes. Once I was pushing for a

laptop for my ds and the school said that giving him one would " make him

stand out and look different " to which I would have LOL. But my dh quickly

said, " oh, then we don't want to do that. " I wanted to knock him one under

the table. I wish he would think first about the main goal sometimes. I

have told him a million times, " Do not ever ever think of disagreeing with me

in front of them or I will hurt you. " Well, he is a work in progress. lol.

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

[Guest guest]

" I wanted to knock him one under

the table. "

Oh! that is hilarious!

/IL

kneeleee@... wrote:In a message dated 5/8/03 10:43:10 AM Eastern Daylight

Time,

columbiamocowboy@... writes:

> It means both partners have to compare notes before hand, and both partners

> must understand one clear rule...if we don't see eye to eye on a particular

> issue, we cuss and discuss OUTSIDE the meeting.

Darren,

I have a problem with my dh doing this sometimes. Once I was pushing for a

laptop for my ds and the school said that giving him one would " make him

stand out and look different " to which I would have LOL. But my dh quickly

said, " oh, then we don't want to do that. " I wanted to knock him one under

the table. I wish he would think first about the main goal sometimes. I

have told him a million times, " Do not ever ever think of disagreeing with me

in front of them or I will hurt you. " Well, he is a work in progress. lol.

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/4/2003 6:45:27 PM Eastern Standard Time,

mlndhall@... writes:

>

> I think it stinks that they would say that your

> husband wasn't involved. Shame on them! I wish some of

> the people who say those types of things could come

> and spend a week in our homes and see what REALLY goes

> on!

>

>

Remember this was a school district lawyer's tactic...and believe me they

have LOTS! Pam