Re: Hi everyone! I'm new/sorry, long

[Guest guest]

Hi Peg...

welcome to the group. You have really been put through the ringer by the

school system and your son's rights have been violated by thier negligence and

lack of knowlege. I am so sorry for that...sounds like you have made the

sacrifices and stuck to your guns to help him!

dont' have a teenager but many do!

deb...mom to three great adopted kids... (07.04.96-05.26.03) with

Mitochondrial Disease, Gaige age 4 with Aspergers Syndrome and Bliss age 2 with

very very mild Cerebral Palsy.

www.HeartLiftersGallery.com

NurturingHeavensKids/

[Guest guest]

Peg, I also have a very difficult at the moment 13 y/o who suffers from

chronic " I forgot " syndrome. He also is very unorganized and seems not too get

it. But he has held on in school with few behavior problems, he has a

wonderful ESE specialist who has made all the difference sometimes it only takes

one

person at the school to take an interest and realize that with some help these

AS kids can achieve. I am sorry you went though so much getting a dx, but you

are not alone we went though at least 5 psy b/f the school psy suggested the

AS dx if not for her we would still be wondering. SO welcome and where are u?

[Guest guest]

Peg,

We seem to be on the same page. My name is Dawn and my son is 12 and is

acting just like your son it sounds. We too, started to have difficulty in

3rd grade when Ben started getting so frustrated that he would throw chairs

around the room. Of course, they didn't know he had Asperger's until about

a year ago, and our formal diagnosis just came this year. Ben is in the 7th

grade. I too, am having a great deal of difficulty with organization

challenges and keeping up to date with what is going on with him at school.

He is failing Math at the moment but we finally got a few assignments that

he didn't turn in and are working on those at home. The school is in the

process of making up his first IEP so that will be interesting to see what

they come up with. Ben has started just tuning out when something is too

boring " but I suspect maybe too confusing for him such as in Math class with

these multi-step problems and graphing problems. So far the school has been

very willing to suggest modifications for him. I have been happy about that

It is difficult to pin down exactly what can be done. I would be happy to

hear from you by e-mail. I also could use a buddy to hash out the details.

E-mail me at dscheppke@...

Dawn

-- ( ) Hi everyone! I'm new/sorry, long

I'm Peg, mom to , my 13 yr old with AS. I just had him diagnosed

a year and a half ago. We've been through a lot, but I will try not

to put everyone to sleep!LOL When was in the 3rd grade, his

teacher and the school suggested that I needed to find a different

type of school situation for him, either homeschool or a private

school with small classrooms. He was being suspended on a monthly

basis and his teacher complained that he was too disruptive to stay

in the class. She explained that he would do terrific if he were in

a room all by himself.

I was working out of the home at the time and it was a real

challange. He was having problems with his day care situation also

and I had no idea what was going on with him. I homeschooled for 2

years and decided that I should have him checked out by a

specialist. His pricipal at the charter school we were homeschool

through suggested a doctor who worked with ADHD/ADD children and

told me that he believed that was what was wrong with . By that

time I had done some research on the internet for ADHD and that's

when I first read about Asperger. When the doctor diagnosed him with

ADHD, I mentioned Asperger and was told that he definately didn't

have any kind of autism. We started him on medication for ADHD and I

noticed that some of his symptoms improved, but not all. After

several years and medication changes I took him to a psychologist

for a 2nd opinion. Once again I suggested Aspeger and was told that

he didn't have it. I was given instruction to use time outs for

behavior problems and unusual behavior that wasn't socially

acceptable. It didn't work.

Finally, I took him to a pediatrician who told me that was

eccentric and needed to be seen by a psychologist to rule out

several behavior dissorders including high functioning autism. After

a frustrating search in my area, I finally took him 50 miles away to

a Neuropsychologist at Loma University Hospital. I had just

enrolled him in the middle school and he was doing really good, so I

felt that we were finally getting somewhere. The Neuropsychologist

suggested I find a support group in the area we live in and a doctor

that would work with .

I talked to the school counseler, who assured me that didn't

need an IEP because of his high test scores and we agreed that he

could go to her office if he needed to " escape " to pull himself

together during one of his rough times. The first semester was

academically ahead of his peers and got along really well with his

teachers. The only class I had a problem with was math and that was

because the teacher would yell and the class was loud. After

insisting that he be removed, they finally did it.

The next semester was a disaster. I asked to have a meeting with his

teachers to discuss his Asperger and it took them 2 months to

arrange it. was having problems with organization and relaying

messages between me and the teachers and they weren't answering my

calls. I would get notices that he was way behind on work and was

failing the class as my first indication that there was a problem.

When we finally had the meeting, the science teacher didn't even

show up. None of the teachers had ever heard of Asperger and I had

to go through all the symptoms and what to expect from . The

problems with communication continued and the science teacher was

calling and leaving messages that was giving him evil looks in

class and was disruptive. When I finally talked to him, he told me

that I was using Asperger as an excuse for bad behavior and he had

too many kids in his class to make exceptions for .

I'm now homeschooling again and he has settled down a lot. I am

also trying to start a support group in my area since I was never

able to find one. I hope to find other parents with teenagers here

that I can discuss some of the rough spots with.

Hugs,

Peg

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks for the words of support! I know that during our homeschool day,

likes me to write down exactly what is going to happen each day and that seems

to help him some. He enjoys going through the day and marking off each project

until school is over.

I'm in Apple Valley, Ca. about halfway between Los Angeles and Las Vegas, out in

the desert. We have several large towns up here, but no one has a support group

going yet! I'm going through the process of getting in touch with the schools

and the library here to get one going.

Hugs,

Peg

RNMOM72668@... wrote:

Peg, I also have a very difficult at the moment 13 y/o who suffers from

chronic " I forgot " syndrome. He also is very unorganized and seems not too get

it. But he has held on in school with few behavior problems, he has a

wonderful ESE specialist who has made all the difference sometimes it only takes

one

person at the school to take an interest and realize that with some help these

AS kids can achieve. I am sorry you went though so much getting a dx, but you

are not alone we went though at least 5 psy b/f the school psy suggested the

AS dx if not for her we would still be wondering. SO welcome and where are u?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/17/2003 2:55:43 PM Eastern Standard Time,

momsalittleoff@... writes:

I'm in Apple Valley, Ca. about halfway between Los Angeles and Las Vegas, out

in the desert. We have several large towns up here, but no one has a support

group going yet! I'm going through the process of getting in touch with the

schools and the library here to get one going.

We started our own social skills group, I actually

formed it with some people I met with AS kids around my son's age. It is

wonderful we get together every other week and the mom's meet in between for

support, can;you get something like this going in your area, I would invite u

too

mine but we are much too far away from you lol.

[Guest guest]

That's what I'm hoping to get started here. I read in a book by Tony Attwood

about social skills training and I'm thinking about, first seeing if I can find

other AS families in the area that are interested, and then purchasing a set of

social skills curriculum to use at our meetings. I also need to check around and

see if I can find a place where we can hold our meetings (our place is pretty

small and cramped).

Hugs,

Peg

We started our own social skills group, I actually

formed it with some people I met with AS kids around my son's age. It is

wonderful we get together every other week and the mom's meet in between for

support, can;you get something like this going in your area, I would invite u

too

mine but we are much too far away from you lol.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/18/2003 7:18:06 AM Eastern Standard Time,

momsalittleoff@... writes:

That's what I'm hoping to get started here. I read in a book by Tony Attwood

about social skills training and I'm thinking about, first seeing if I can

find other AS families in the area that are interested, and then purchasing a

set

of social skills curriculum to use at our meetings. I also need to check

around and see if I can find a place where we can hold our meetings (our place

is

pretty small and cramped).

We meet for breakfast or take the kids on social outings like last

month we took all the kids to the movies and had them pay for their tickets and

watch the movies and order popcorn and then we sat in the lobby and talked,

for the kids it was independence of getting their tickets and ordering popcorn

and being responsible. Another group we had was decorating pumpkins by our

clubhouse, everyone brought something to decorate and it was put in the middle

of

the table and they had to share and cooperate together, this was also learning

for them on how to share and get along, we are there just to facilitate. I

think making it fun for them is the best as the;y are learning, but if we just

sit there and read or try to follow things from a book they would loose

interest. Nobody has had it at their house, all you need is a fun place too go

and

then let them practice. Next month after our holiday party we are going to have

the boys cook they will be making a list and going food shopping and then

cooking with our help at my house oh no!!! but they will learn how to shop and

how

to budget their money and then how too cook, hope the food is edible lol.

[Guest guest]

Hi Peg,

We are just starting in the school process and I'm not looking forward to what

may lie ahead. I feel your frustration though! My son has several dx's from

different professionals......still a mystery. Did you feel the

neuropsychologist at Loma was good? We are in San Diego so its not too

far and we are going to try once again to find the correct dx. Feel free to

email off list if you don't want to mention names etc.

Johanna

momsalittleoff@... wrote:

I'm Peg, mom to , my 13 yr old with AS. I just had him diagnosed

a year and a half ago. We've been through a lot, but I will try not

to put everyone to sleep!LOL When was in the 3rd grade, his

teacher and the school suggested that I needed to find a different

type of school situation for him, either homeschool or a private

school with small classrooms. He was being suspended on a monthly

basis and his teacher complained that he was too disruptive to stay

in the class. She explained that he would do terrific if he were in

a room all by himself.

I was working out of the home at the time and it was a real

challange. He was having problems with his day care situation also

and I had no idea what was going on with him. I homeschooled for 2

years and decided that I should have him checked out by a

specialist. His pricipal at the charter school we were homeschool

through suggested a doctor who worked with ADHD/ADD children and

told me that he believed that was what was wrong with . By that

time I had done some research on the internet for ADHD and that's

when I first read about Asperger. When the doctor diagnosed him with

ADHD, I mentioned Asperger and was told that he definately didn't

have any kind of autism. We started him on medication for ADHD and I

noticed that some of his symptoms improved, but not all. After

several years and medication changes I took him to a psychologist

for a 2nd opinion. Once again I suggested Aspeger and was told that

he didn't have it. I was given instruction to use time outs for

behavior problems and unusual behavior that wasn't socially

acceptable. It didn't work.

Finally, I took him to a pediatrician who told me that was

eccentric and needed to be seen by a psychologist to rule out

several behavior dissorders including high functioning autism. After

a frustrating search in my area, I finally took him 50 miles away to

a Neuropsychologist at Loma University Hospital. I had just

enrolled him in the middle school and he was doing really good, so I

felt that we were finally getting somewhere. The Neuropsychologist

suggested I find a support group in the area we live in and a doctor

that would work with .

I talked to the school counseler, who assured me that didn't

need an IEP because of his high test scores and we agreed that he

could go to her office if he needed to " escape " to pull himself

together during one of his rough times. The first semester was

academically ahead of his peers and got along really well with his

teachers. The only class I had a problem with was math and that was

because the teacher would yell and the class was loud. After

insisting that he be removed, they finally did it.

The next semester was a disaster. I asked to have a meeting with his

teachers to discuss his Asperger and it took them 2 months to

arrange it. was having problems with organization and relaying

messages between me and the teachers and they weren't answering my

calls. I would get notices that he was way behind on work and was

failing the class as my first indication that there was a problem.

When we finally had the meeting, the science teacher didn't even

show up. None of the teachers had ever heard of Asperger and I had

to go through all the symptoms and what to expect from . The

problems with communication continued and the science teacher was

calling and leaving messages that was giving him evil looks in

class and was disruptive. When I finally talked to him, he told me

that I was using Asperger as an excuse for bad behavior and he had

too many kids in his class to make exceptions for .

I'm now homeschooling again and he has settled down a lot. I am

also trying to start a support group in my area since I was never

able to find one. I hope to find other parents with teenagers here

that I can discuss some of the rough spots with.

Hugs,

Peg

[Guest guest]

Johanna,

I felt he was much better than the psychologist he saw before, but I wasn't

happy that he gave me no help after the diagnoses. He just pretty much told me,

" heres the diagnoses, sure hope you can find help in your area for him. " and

that was it. I asked him where I could find support and he told me he thought

that Cal State San Bernardino had a program, but he wasn't sure and that was it.

I checked Cal State San Bernardino on the internet and found nothing there for

Asperger. I'm still trying to find help for and you would think I was

trying to dig up national security info the way I've been able to find out

anything. Now that I'm trying to form my own support group, the people at the

school district are coming up with all kinds of suggestions and referals for

counselers and programs that they couldn't remember when I was just a parent

looking for help for my own kid. Oh well.

I can give you the doctor's name off list if you want it. I have to warn you,

though, that you may have to wait a month before getting in. There's a lot of

people trying to get thier kids in there.

Hugs,

Peg

Johanna <arijoesam@...> wrote:

Hi Peg,

We are just starting in the school process and I'm not looking forward to what

may lie ahead. I feel your frustration though! My son has several dx's from

different professionals......still a mystery. Did you feel the

neuropsychologist at Loma was good? We are in San Diego so its not too

far and we are going to try once again to find the correct dx. Feel free to

email off list if you don't want to mention names etc.

Johanna

momsalittleoff@... wrote:

I'm Peg, mom to , my 13 yr old with AS. I just had him diagnosed

a year and a half ago. We've been through a lot, but I will try not

to put everyone to sleep!LOL When was in the 3rd grade, his

teacher and the school suggested that I needed to find a different

type of school situation for him, either homeschool or a private

school with small classrooms. He was being suspended on a monthly

basis and his teacher complained that he was too disruptive to stay

in the class. She explained that he would do terrific if he were in

a room all by himself.

I was working out of the home at the time and it was a real

challange. He was having problems with his day care situation also

and I had no idea what was going on with him. I homeschooled for 2

years and decided that I should have him checked out by a

specialist. His pricipal at the charter school we were homeschool

through suggested a doctor who worked with ADHD/ADD children and

told me that he believed that was what was wrong with . By that

time I had done some research on the internet for ADHD and that's

when I first read about Asperger. When the doctor diagnosed him with

ADHD, I mentioned Asperger and was told that he definately didn't

have any kind of autism. We started him on medication for ADHD and I

noticed that some of his symptoms improved, but not all. After

several years and medication changes I took him to a psychologist

for a 2nd opinion. Once again I suggested Aspeger and was told that

he didn't have it. I was given instruction to use time outs for

behavior problems and unusual behavior that wasn't socially

acceptable. It didn't work.

Finally, I took him to a pediatrician who told me that was

eccentric and needed to be seen by a psychologist to rule out

several behavior dissorders including high functioning autism. After

a frustrating search in my area, I finally took him 50 miles away to

a Neuropsychologist at Loma University Hospital. I had just

enrolled him in the middle school and he was doing really good, so I

felt that we were finally getting somewhere. The Neuropsychologist

suggested I find a support group in the area we live in and a doctor

that would work with .

I talked to the school counseler, who assured me that didn't

need an IEP because of his high test scores and we agreed that he

could go to her office if he needed to " escape " to pull himself

together during one of his rough times. The first semester was

academically ahead of his peers and got along really well with his

teachers. The only class I had a problem with was math and that was

because the teacher would yell and the class was loud. After

insisting that he be removed, they finally did it.

The next semester was a disaster. I asked to have a meeting with his

teachers to discuss his Asperger and it took them 2 months to

arrange it. was having problems with organization and relaying

messages between me and the teachers and they weren't answering my

calls. I would get notices that he was way behind on work and was

failing the class as my first indication that there was a problem.

When we finally had the meeting, the science teacher didn't even

show up. None of the teachers had ever heard of Asperger and I had

to go through all the symptoms and what to expect from . The

problems with communication continued and the science teacher was

calling and leaving messages that was giving him evil looks in

class and was disruptive. When I finally talked to him, he told me

that I was using Asperger as an excuse for bad behavior and he had

too many kids in his class to make exceptions for .

I'm now homeschooling again and he has settled down a lot. I am

also trying to start a support group in my area since I was never

able to find one. I hope to find other parents with teenagers here

that I can discuss some of the rough spots with.

Hugs,

Peg