Re: IEP Is Today!-THANKYOU & SAD UPDATE

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/3/2003 10:23:20 PM Eastern Standard Time,

rybabysmom@... writes:

.. We had him read it

outloud. He tried stopping in the middle!!! I am livid. He says the

label does not support my request. And we can't discuss labels at

this meeting. He swore we needed a different committee.

Write your concerns to the superintendent. Sounds like you have a major

" gatekeeper " on your hands. I've never heard of being unable to discuss the

" label " at a meeting. Sounds like STALLLLLLLLLLLING. Go over this guys head to

the next one on the food chain and see if you can get a meeting to discuss these

issues. It might be one way to avoid due process. Don't yell and scream

(though you want to) but just present the factoids and let them speak for

themselves, especially regarding the run around.

Roxanna ö¿ö

Autism happens...

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your support. You girls are great. I wish I had better

news. I think it's official you can NOT easily fight ignorance.

Dealing w/ this vp is like talking to a brick wall. I think I could

get more intelligence from the wall! And atleast the wall serves a

purpose! Basically last year my ds went thrugh the entire process. He

was found NOT elgible for special ed services outside of speech at

ELGIBILITY. So when I asked about his unofficial modifications I was

cut off. I was specifically told by the vp that I had to call a

separate IEP meeting to discuss modifications. I argued that the use

of those modifications skewed the results of their findings.

Basically IF they used mods and Hunter was ok it shows the need for

mods. Why else did we come up w/ them? Could it be because he was NOT

ok prior to them? My other argument was that it was relevant because

the label had to support the mods. And I had repeatedly been told a

speech only label did NOT support any mod that was NOT directly

related to speech. And none of the 8 mods being used were speech

related. That was the entire reason we went through elgibility again!

I was told it was the only way we could change the label. I had

testing that was fairly recent(6 months old). ARGH. NOW he says we

can NOT discuss a change in label at the IEP we had today. No we have

to go back to ELGIBILITY!! He wants to call a screening. Hunter has

been tested. Hunter is autistic. Hunter is having difficulties in

behavior. But the vp is back on his freaking soap box of honor roll

grades. We already submitted proof of skewed grades from last year!!

We do NOT need more testing. The fact that his current English

teacher said on tape today that she had concerns should be enough!

Geesh. We EVEN read him the law. Hunter fits the criteria. He has the

dx and it is adversely affecting him in school!!!! Hence he has a

need improvement in behavior esp work habits. And he has several

missing papers. And unlike last yr's teachers his new teachers have

clearly stated they are concerned! HOWEVER they were willing to give

us a BIP under speech. Two goals were when and if my ds blurted out

answers or comments inappropriately since they found this to be

sporadic(yeah like every day sporadic!) he'd get a verbal and

nonverbal warning. The report was contradictive! In one place it said

nonverbal and another said verbal. The other goal was if he had probs

while working in group they'd redirect?? It was that vague. ALSO in

my request for this meeting I put in writing I wanted to discuss a

BIP AND his difficulties in writing AND spelling. We had him read it

outloud. He tried stopping in the middle!!! I am livid. He says the

label does not support my request. And we can't discuss labels at

this meeting. He swore we needed a different committee. But the only

person missing was a social worker who has NEVER met Hunter. And his

homeroom teacher because she had a dr appt as IF that is my fault. So

then I got snippy I told him if outbursts and not getting along w/

peers(their words) were consided a SPEECH issue that so was writing!

After all iF my son thinks differently, speaks differently, than

obviously he writes differently!!! He had NO answer. So I read them

22 points of concern about Hunter. All off the autism site. AND ALL

fit Hunter perfectly. After EACH point I said and this IS MY SON! I

told them Hunter was autitic last year, he is autistic today, and he

will be next year. We can NOT discuss helping him unless we discuss

autism. His speech and social delays are a direct result of what???

Autism! You can not separate the two. By the way the social skills

class we were promised does NOT exist. Oh yeah...caught them red

handed. I am beyond saddened. Not to mention totally pissed-off!

a who is going to Due Process.

> Too late for advise but prayers that all went well.

>

>

> ( ) IEP Is Today!

>

>

> Wish me luck! I want to change Hunter's dx to autism. I've

already

> been told NO! We are requesting a BIP which we will probably get.

We

> are getting a social skills class. Apparently the school now has

an

> autism program. Of course, MY pdd-nos kids do NOT qualify. Don't

> ask!!! lol!!! In case ya did NOT know PDD is NOT autism. (note my

> sarcasm) We requested help w/ handwriting, writing, spelling,

etc. We

> have already been told NEVER! lol. Of course the new gifted

English

> teacher may back us up. After all Hunter is failing her class.

> Apparently his work is not up to 5th grade expectations. Shocking

> huh? And his behavior is in need of improving in ALL classes. Yet

> another shock, huh? So as you can tell I need luck. I am soo

thankful

> my advocate will be by my side. Otherwise I just don't know if I

> could handle this again. I'm so nervous now I'm shaking. And I

have 5

> 1/2 hours to go! Can ya think of anything I might have forgotten?

Any

> advice at all?

>

> Thanks, a

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

a,

That s**ks. Don't let them get away with telling you that his grades are too

good for him to get modifications. That's a crock. My son had straight As

for three years and was in a special ed program for all three of those

years. There were lots of really bright kids in the program. Did you say

that you have an advocate? If not, you might want to get one.

Wishing you the power of She-ra,

Liz

rybabysmom wrote:

> Thank you for your support. You girls are great. I wish I had better

> news. I think it's official you can NOT easily fight ignorance.

> Dealing w/ this vp is like talking to a brick wall. I think I could

> get more intelligence from the wall! And atleast the wall serves a

> purpose! Basically last year my ds went thrugh the entire process. He

> was found NOT elgible for special ed services outside of speech at

> ELGIBILITY. So when I asked about his unofficial modifications I was

> cut off. I was specifically told by the vp that I had to call a

> separate IEP meeting to discuss modifications. I argued that the use

> of those modifications skewed the results of their findings.

> Basically IF they used mods and Hunter was ok it shows the need for

> mods. Why else did we come up w/ them? Could it be because he was NOT

> ok prior to them? My other argument was that it was relevant because

> the label had to support the mods. And I had repeatedly been told a

> speech only label did NOT support any mod that was NOT directly

> related to speech. And none of the 8 mods being used were speech

> related. That was the entire reason we went through elgibility again!

> I was told it was the only way we could change the label. I had

> testing that was fairly recent(6 months old). ARGH. NOW he says we

> can NOT discuss a change in label at the IEP we had today. No we have

> to go back to ELGIBILITY!! He wants to call a screening. Hunter has

> been tested. Hunter is autistic. Hunter is having difficulties in

> behavior. But the vp is back on his freaking soap box of honor roll

> grades. We already submitted proof of skewed grades from last year!!

> We do NOT need more testing. The fact that his current English

> teacher said on tape today that she had concerns should be enough!

> Geesh. We EVEN read him the law. Hunter fits the criteria. He has the

> dx and it is adversely affecting him in school!!!! Hence he has a

> need improvement in behavior esp work habits. And he has several

> missing papers. And unlike last yr's teachers his new teachers have

> clearly stated they are concerned! HOWEVER they were willing to give

> us a BIP under speech. Two goals were when and if my ds blurted out

> answers or comments inappropriately since they found this to be

> sporadic(yeah like every day sporadic!) he'd get a verbal and

> nonverbal warning. The report was contradictive! In one place it said

> nonverbal and another said verbal. The other goal was if he had probs

> while working in group they'd redirect?? It was that vague. ALSO in

> my request for this meeting I put in writing I wanted to discuss a

> BIP AND his difficulties in writing AND spelling. We had him read it

> outloud. He tried stopping in the middle!!! I am livid. He says the

> label does not support my request. And we can't discuss labels at

> this meeting. He swore we needed a different committee. But the only

> person missing was a social worker who has NEVER met Hunter. And his

> homeroom teacher because she had a dr appt as IF that is my fault. So

> then I got snippy I told him if outbursts and not getting along w/

> peers(their words) were consided a SPEECH issue that so was writing!

> After all iF my son thinks differently, speaks differently, than

> obviously he writes differently!!! He had NO answer. So I read them

> 22 points of concern about Hunter. All off the autism site. AND ALL

> fit Hunter perfectly. After EACH point I said and this IS MY SON! I

> told them Hunter was autitic last year, he is autistic today, and he

> will be next year. We can NOT discuss helping him unless we discuss

> autism. His speech and social delays are a direct result of what???

> Autism! You can not separate the two. By the way the social skills

> class we were promised does NOT exist. Oh yeah...caught them red

> handed. I am beyond saddened. Not to mention totally pissed-off!

>

> a who is going to Due Process.

>

>

> > Too late for advise but prayers that all went well.

> >

> >

> > ( ) IEP Is Today!

> >

> >

> > Wish me luck! I want to change Hunter's dx to autism. I've

> already

> > been told NO! We are requesting a BIP which we will probably get.

> We

> > are getting a social skills class. Apparently the school now has

> an

> > autism program. Of course, MY pdd-nos kids do NOT qualify. Don't

> > ask!!! lol!!! In case ya did NOT know PDD is NOT autism. (note my

> > sarcasm) We requested help w/ handwriting, writing, spelling,

> etc. We

> > have already been told NEVER! lol. Of course the new gifted

> English

> > teacher may back us up. After all Hunter is failing her class.

> > Apparently his work is not up to 5th grade expectations. Shocking

> > huh? And his behavior is in need of improving in ALL classes. Yet

> > another shock, huh? So as you can tell I need luck. I am soo

> thankful

> > my advocate will be by my side. Otherwise I just don't know if I

> > could handle this again. I'm so nervous now I'm shaking. And I

> have 5

> > 1/2 hours to go! Can ya think of anything I might have forgotten?

> Any

> > advice at all?

> >

> > Thanks, a

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

<<<<<< I think it's official you can NOT easily fight ignorance.>>>

you bet but it is possible. water can penetrate hard rock, no ?

F

[Guest guest]

WOw a that is sad, when my son got the autism label he was in 5th grade,

and had been having problems since 2nd grade, but he was not failing he was

not having too many behavior problems he was having handwriting problems and

social problems but not much else. He was dx by the school psy as having AS, and

given the autistic label by the school psy. We even asked if he could get

another label not realizing the necessity of the autistic label. The school psy

said she would not sign off on any other label except autism. I can't believe it

is that hard to get the label in your state. WOW, and I thought out state was

bad. Wow.

[Guest guest]

Exactly what we are doing! The funny thing is that it will cost

them more if we go Due Process. I simply wanted an Autism label. I

would have settled for OHI due to his ADHD. Then I wanted several

mods that were simple. Seating, printing vereses cursive when time is

a factor, the basics really. Things they've unofficially been doing

for years now. No money involved. Time is an issue, but then again

it's better than chaos created by outbursts and melt downs! If I pay

for court though I'll ask for the moon on a silver platter!

Thanx, a

> Write your concerns to the superintendent. Sounds like you have a

major

> " gatekeeper " on your hands. I've never heard of being unable to

discuss the

> " label " at a meeting. Sounds like STALLLLLLLLLLLING. Go over this

guys head to

> the next one on the food chain and see if you can get a meeting to

discuss these

> issues. It might be one way to avoid due process. Don't yell and

scream

> (though you want to) but just present the factoids and let them

speak for

> themselves, especially regarding the run around.

>

>

> Roxanna ö¿ö

> Autism happens...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

a,

Didn't you take an advocate to this meeting with you? What did she

have to say about all this? Was the vp the highest person in

authority in the room? I have always found, when I am having

difficulty with an ignorant principal, that going over his/her head

is helpful. I contact to the Supervisor of Special Ed. I know that

others have not had success there either, but at the grade school

level, I never got anything accomplished unless the Asst. Supervisor

of Special Ed for the grade schools was present in the room...and

when I sent a certified letter to her about my concerns with laws

that were being broken, she always made sure that she attended my

meetings. Before you go to Due Process, I think you should document

the events and conversations in this meeting in writing and CC the

Supervisor of Special Ed (and the Superintendant), making sure that

you point out - very matter of factly (not angrily)- anything that

the vp said or did that was a violation of special ed law under IDEA

or state law. I would make it clear in the letter that I intend

pursue Due Process in this matter if my concerns are not promptly

addressed. And make sure you send that letter Cerified - Return

Receipt Requested. Borg 'em!!

And just for the record, I have two sons who get A's and who score at

or above (very high above in some cases) grade level in aptitude

tests and who both qualified for IEP's. Of course, nobody handed

them to me. I had to fight for them. But Lord only knows where we'd

be right now if they didn't have them!!!

Kathy (who is in your corner and routing for you)

[Guest guest]

Yes I had an advocate. Otherwise I'd've jumped over the table and

started screaming at the vp! lol! And we are working on a letter to

write over his head. In fact he's broken many laws. Thus we are

asking for him to be removed. I'd like to remove the speech teacher

as well. She's sweet, but I think we deserve a new committee. This

one isn't fully qualified. She's great at speech. My kids love her.

But I need someone who is familiar w/ autism, esp HFA and ADHD and

BIPs, etc. Noone there had ever done a BIP. And they ALL thought you

could NOT have an IEP if your grades were good!!! This was after the

advocate pulled out her law book and read it to them!!! Scary, huh?

Thanks, a

> a,

> Didn't you take an advocate to this meeting with you? What did she

> have to say about all this? Was the vp the highest person in

> authority in the room? I have always found, when I am having

> difficulty with an ignorant principal, that going over his/her head

> is helpful. I contact to the Supervisor of Special Ed. I know

that

> others have not had success there either, but at the grade school

> level, I never got anything accomplished unless the Asst.

Supervisor

> of Special Ed for the grade schools was present in the room...and

> when I sent a certified letter to her about my concerns with laws

> that were being broken, she always made sure that she attended my

> meetings. Before you go to Due Process, I think you should

document

> the events and conversations in this meeting in writing and CC the

> Supervisor of Special Ed (and the Superintendant), making sure that

> you point out - very matter of factly (not angrily)- anything that

> the vp said or did that was a violation of special ed law under

IDEA

> or state law. I would make it clear in the letter that I intend

> pursue Due Process in this matter if my concerns are not promptly

> addressed. And make sure you send that letter Cerified - Return

> Receipt Requested. Borg 'em!!

>

> And just for the record, I have two sons who get A's and who score

at

> or above (very high above in some cases) grade level in aptitude

> tests and who both qualified for IEP's. Of course, nobody handed

> them to me. I had to fight for them. But Lord only knows where

we'd

> be right now if they didn't have them!!!

>

> Kathy (who is in your corner and routing for you)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/5/2003 10:05:54 AM Eastern Standard Time,

rybabysmom@... writes:

Kids apparently didn't just

NOT like him because he had been in spec ed. Apparently they don't

like him period. To say 4th was a disaster is a huge

understatement. And here the teachers did not know his background so

they had zero tolerance. All I got was note after note after note.

Yet still I get NO help. It is sad.

Yes we had the same thing happen, by the time my son was in 5th

grade he had no friends he would sit by himself in the cafe and eat lunch

although

this has not changed he still sits by himself and reads during lunch but now

I have come to an understanding that this is what he prefers making friends is

very hard work for him, and keeping them is even harder. SO, I feel lunch

time is a de stress time for him to read if I were to make him socialize like I

tried in the past he would get to class and feel more stressed out so letting

him read has helped. And yes its hard to accept his differences more so as he

gets older, but I am always thankful for what I have it could be so much worse

I worked with the most disabled of children in the past and I am over thinking

wow why did this happen to my son he could have been ..... SO now I focus on

all the good things he can do he can be a computer genius one day, he can be

any thing he wants so long as he wants to do it. Yes he is different and so

what many people are different, its just sad that your son is different for a

reason and instead of being known as weird the teachers would know ok he has AS

it is a disability and school should accommodate his needs of course that is a

weekly fight still lol. But most of the time the teachers understand why my

son did not do what all the other kids did and that he is not weird but a person

with AS that needs extra help and understanding that is why I am happy he has

the dx and not something else. I think you need to hire an advocate do you

have a CARD center in your state that can help you. Again do not give up, this

will give you more ammunition to push for your son and each time they provide

him with an accommodation I would be documenting it and each time he fails or

something happens I would write it up and fax it to the school. Again this

group has given me so many great ideas in the past 3 years since I joined wow I

can't believe its been 3 years since I got my son's dx and I have come a far way

since then with all of your help Thank You

[Guest guest]

,

That really parallels. My son started having problems in third. Well

he had problems before then, but w/ the IEP and teachers and such it

was under control. He had OT(part of the time) and speech. His

behavior was immature, but we had nice teachers whom found ways of

handling it. By third his handwriting and writing skills were

obviously below grade level. The teacher was unconcerned though. We

spent so much time on homework, studying, etc that it became our

entire life. Socially things went downhill quick. I think the staff

was annoyed yet they didn't want to give me ammo. So he was graded as

satisfactory behavior wise. Yet his teacher said extremely

inappropriate things to me about my son and his behavior. Mostly he

did annoying things or inappropriate things as opposed to " bad "

behavior. So they dealt w/ it. But I did not like the attitude. And

they refused to even discuss any intervention whatsoever not that I

had a clear idea on what was needed at that time myself. They allowed

much teasing to take place. Purposely or not I do not know, but my

son had no school friends. He sat alone in the cafeteria. He was the

last picked in PE. Etc. I couldn't continue on like that. We switched

schools. I thought a fresh start where noone knew his background

would be socially beneficial. I overestimated his " normalness " (I

doubt that's a real word either...lol). Kids apparently didn't just

NOT like him because he had been in spec ed. Apparently they don't

like him period. To say 4th was a disaster is a huge

understatement. And here the teachers did not know his background so

they had zero tolerance. All I got was note after note after note.

Yet still I get NO help. It is sad.

a

> WOw a that is sad, when my son got the autism label he was in

5th grade,

> and had been having problems since 2nd grade, but he was not

failing he was

> not having too many behavior problems he was having handwriting

problems and

> social problems but not much else. He was dx by the school psy as

having AS, and

> given the autistic label by the school psy. We even asked if he

could get

> another label not realizing the necessity of the autistic label.

The school psy

> said she would not sign off on any other label except autism. I

can't believe it

> is that hard to get the label in your state. WOW, and I thought out

state was

> bad. Wow.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks, but I did hire an advocate. We are going to ask for Due

Process this week unless the vp gives. I am almost positive from the

way he worded things he plans on us going back through

Elgibility...not in this life time. The testing is current and I'm

not waiting half a school year just to be denied again. The tests

show my ds's weak areas. We are being refused solely on grades which

is not legal. The vp is truly an idiot or he'd know better than to

try. If I'm lucky someone will clue him in. We are also writing a

letter of complaint.

As for lunch I'd be ok if he wanted to be alone. I might be a lil

disappointed because that is a hard concept for me to understand.

However he likes people. And wants to be friends. It doesn't bother

him as much as it does me, but he does get upset at times.

Thanks so much, a

I think you need to hire an advocate do you

> have a CARD center in your state that can help you. Again do not

give up, this

> will give you more ammunition to push for your son and each time

they provide

> him with an accommodation I would be documenting it and each time

he fails or

> something happens I would write it up and fax it to the school.

Again this

> group has given me so many great ideas in the past 3 years since I

joined wow I

> can't believe its been 3 years since I got my son's dx and I have

come a far way

> since then with all of your help Thank You

>

>

>