Re: cafeteria

[Guest guest]

Now this is a major fight I had early on with a 1st grade teacher - she

kept sending my son off to another room to be by himself on the premise

of getting work done but he didn't want to do it, and no one was there to

make him do it and he wasn't learning how to be a part of the class so

most of the 1st year was nearly a waste. She just couldn't let go of the

idea that I should just medicate him for ADHD (which he doesn't have but

you know we parents are all imbeciles compared to 1st grade teachers!) so

my insistence that he NEEDED structure and contact with other kids just

fell on deaf ears.

Kate

On Mon, 7 Apr 2003 00:11:57 -0400 " Matero "

<tonyandnicole@...> writes:

My son does not eat in the cafeteria either. For him it is just too

noisy and he is very sensitive to loud sounds. At a meeting last week

with the " team " it was brought to my attention that he eats alone with an

aide and his TSS. Stupid me, I had assumed (we know what assume spells)

that there were other children who also ate in the classroom...Well, I

was not too happy. So I said, " Here we have a child with major social

skills deficits missing out on a key social opportunity...lunch.

Wouldn't it make sense to have other kids join him for lunch to create a

social learning opportunity? Could he ask someone from his class? Or the

class that he is included with for specials? Or there are 2 boys from Cub

Scouts that go to this school, could he ask them to join him for lunch? "

A BIG " DUH " moment for the " team " . And these people are the

" professionals " ?

" Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of

gravity. Don't fight them. Just find a different way to stand. " --Oprah

Winfrey

[Guest guest]

That would make sense. And it wouldn't have to be the same couple of kids every

day, either. When I was teaching (I was a Montessori teacher), I had a child who

was essentially nonverbal. I arranged for a SLP to come in and work with him

three times a week. Part of the time they worked alone, but a good chunk of the

time, he got to choose two friends to work with him. They loved to be chosen.

And it just about eliminated any of the teasing about his inability to

verbalize. It was great.

Liz

Matero wrote:

> My son does not eat in the cafeteria either. For him it is just too noisy and

he is very sensitive to loud sounds. At a meeting last week with the " team " it

was brought to my attention that he eats alone with an aide and his TSS. Stupid

me, I had assumed (we know what assume spells) that there were other children

who also ate in the classroom...Well, I was not too happy. So I said, " Here we

have a child with major social skills deficits missing out on a key social

opportunity...lunch. Wouldn't it make sense to have other kids join him for

lunch to create a social learning opportunity? Could he ask someone from his

class? Or the class that he is included with for specials? Or there are 2 boys

from Cub Scouts that go to this school, could he ask them to join him for

lunch? "

> A BIG " DUH " moment for the " team " . And these people are the " professionals " ?

>

> " Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity.

Don't fight them. Just find a different way to stand. " --Oprah Winfrey

>

>

[Guest guest]

and Liz,

I read your story about the cafeteria with much interest. Since my son has

changed schools the new cafeteria is much less noisy but he still eats alone

most of the time. Since we got his IEP done the principal (yes, principal) said

once a moth he will have lunch with Wayne and two students of his choosing.

That way the principal will help facilitate social skills and get Wayne moving

along. I was floored. What a simple and uncostly decision.

This school has been so wonderful for Wayne. He also doesn't like fire

drills and sat in the classroom with his coat the first few weeks waiting. So

they decided they will tell him in advance so he can be prepared. Once the

principal brought him along to see how he does a fire drill. Wayne said it was

neat but he still doesn't like them.

Are we spoiled?

in NJ

Re: ( ) cafeteria

That would make sense. And it wouldn't have to be the same couple of kids

every day, either. When I was teaching (I was a Montessori teacher), I had a

child who was essentially nonverbal. I arranged for a SLP to come in and work

with him three times a week. Part of the time they worked alone, but a good

chunk of the time, he got to choose two friends to work with him. They loved to

be chosen. And it just about eliminated any of the teasing about his inability

to verbalize. It was great.

Liz

Matero wrote:

> My son does not eat in the cafeteria either. For him it is just too noisy

and he is very sensitive to loud sounds. At a meeting last week with the " team "

it was brought to my attention that he eats alone with an aide and his TSS.

Stupid me, I had assumed (we know what assume spells) that there were other

children who also ate in the classroom...Well, I was not too happy. So I said,

" Here we have a child with major social skills deficits missing out on a key

social opportunity...lunch. Wouldn't it make sense to have other kids join him

for lunch to create a social learning opportunity? Could he ask someone from

his class? Or the class that he is included with for specials? Or there are 2

boys from Cub Scouts that go to this school, could he ask them to join him for

lunch? "

> A BIG " DUH " moment for the " team " . And these people are the

" professionals " ?

>

> " Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity.

Don't fight them. Just find a different way to stand. " --Oprah Winfrey

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/7/03 6:51:28 AM Eastern Daylight Time, rudehair@...

writes:

> Now this is a major fight I had early on with a 1st grade teacher - she

> kept sending my son off to another room to be by himself on the premise

> of getting work done but he didn't want to do it, and no one was there to

> make him do it and he wasn't learning how to be a part of the class so

> most of the 1st year was nearly a waste. She just couldn't let go of the

> idea that I should just medicate him for ADHD (which he doesn't have but

> you know we parents are all imbeciles compared to 1st grade teachers!) so

> my insistence that he NEEDED structure and contact with other kids just

> fell on deaf ears.

>

Kate,

Did he have an IEP?

Roxanna ô¿ô

Autism Happens...

[Guest guest]

I am a therapist who leads a team working with a family who has a child with

Aspergers. Prior to our involvement with the family, many other therapy

services had been tried to little to no availl in terms of preventing an out

of home placement for this adolescent boy (age13). We have been successful

in joinging with the family and trying to figure out how to get everyone's

needs met while still preserving the family as a unit. Thanks to mom's

hardwork, things are getting better and me and my team of therapists are

learning alot. We have developed a good realtionship with the schools and

his behaviuor in school is improving as well as his enjoyment of school.. We

are struggling to find community resources though and social activities with

which he can become involved as well as the family.

I guess what I am looking for is help for the " professionals " from the moms

and dads out there in terms of what is helpful and what is not? What are

ways to help this young man devlop social skills? What are activities that

he may find soothing when his anxiety is raised? Are there supports out

there for mom? Are there supports out there for his younger siblings? Even

if some of you would be willing to share some of your best and worst

expreinces with professionals, I would really appreciate it.....

Thanks for your time,

[Guest guest]

When I was in sleepaway camp, I made friends with the cook (in his case, the lunch lady?). She would prepare my foods and cover it with an extra disposable plate. I would wake up, put on my bathing suit, run to the kitchen and get my food, and run to the pool. I would eat it on the top of the mountain before entering the pool area, a very deserted spot. Then, I would enter the pool and do my lifegaurding job for the day. It worked out great.

I say explain for your son that it's worthwhile making friends with the lunchlady, she might let him eat near the trash. I know it sounds horrible, but I'll take trash over people!

[Guest guest]

Yes...speak with his teachers...he might be able to go to a certain classroom if the teacher doesn't mind...or maybe he could eat up by guidance ...I do know some members here mentioned that their children ate some where else. It can be worked out. A lot of As children have this problem.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: mblaman2001 <mblaman@...>Subject: ( ) cafeteria Date: Wednesday, February 25, 2009, 8:17 PM

My son is in middle school and struggles with the cafeteria at lunch time. The noise, crowd and social issues are all such an ordeal for him. Does anyone have special accommodations at lunch for their kiddos? any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!thanks!

[Guest guest]

>

> My son is in middle school and struggles with the cafeteria at lunch

> time. The noise, crowd and social issues are all such an ordeal for

> him. Does anyone have special accommodations at lunch for their

> kiddos? any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

In addition to the other good ideas you are getting, my son used to be

able to get a pass to get out of class slightly early so he could get

at the front of the line in stead of the end (he had a hard time

tolerating being pressed in in the line, was too slow to be first, so

would lag behind and be very last and never get done eating with his

coordination issues).

Also, the staff used to keep an eye on the kids and forbid the ones

who caused trouble with each other to sit at the same table together

(usually for a set time period). That helped with the social issues.

Depends how well they are supervising the cafeteria!

This was 5th/6th grade.

Ruth