Re: ()Why did I have Kids?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/25/03 3:40:56 PM Eastern Standard Time, Dawahooz@...

writes:

> MANY of those kids have been in DH. And worse. I know there was one that

> had attacked at one time AND he had tried to kill his mother. Just

> freaking peachy....

>

Oh my, doesn't belong there. He isn't that bad at school is he?

Roxanna ô¿ô

Autism Happens...

[Guest guest]

What's MBH??? Nobody should get screamed at until they cry. That's inhumane.

Poor kid. Are

his parents making a stink? Can you keep your ds out of the MBH class? What are

your

options? Don't let them run you over,

Liz

kneeleee@... wrote:

> In a message dated 3/24/03 9:06:45 AM Eastern Standard Time, Dawahooz@...

> writes:

>

> > Throwing aggressive personalities in with our (mostly) OCD personality kids

> > is a recipe for disaster.

> >

> > Hope I said that so everyone could understand. I'm not as well spoken

> > (written? LOL) as I would like to be.

> >

> > Connie

> >

>

> You expressed it just fine, Connie. We had two teen Aspies speak at our

> local autism group last night. The one is in high school and was put in a

> MBH classroom. He said that every day practically, the teacher would call

> him into his office and get right in his face and scream at him until he

> cried.

>

> This is our high school. I am totally incensed by this and don't know what

> we could do about it. I just feel like making this school wake up and while

> I work actively to do this all the time anyway, it's never fast enough or

> enough.

> Roxanna ôô

>

> What doesn't kill us

> Makes us really mean.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Good idea. Thanks.

Liz

kneeleee@... wrote:

> In a message dated 3/24/03 7:43:11 PM Eastern Standard Time, lbohn@...

> writes:

>

> > So, it's a dilemma. is really in the middle of adolescence and J

> > clearly hasn't

> > started yet. He's 13, but he's acts like he's about 8. After I witnessed

> > what I did

> > yesterday, I understand why doesn't want to play with him. But it's

> > awkward for me,

> > since S is such a good friend. I don't know how much of this to tell her.

> > (He apparently

> > gets bullied a fair amount at school)

> >

> > Liz the Uncertain

> >

>

> yikes. Do you think she'd get mad at you if you said something? You might

> just mention casually that he seemed to get so stressed out when he wasn't

> winning the game. And if she wants to discuss it further, she will say

> something. Otherwise, you can just go on and talk about something else. ???

> Roxanna

> Ã2¿Ã2

>

> It makes sense to go up the molehill

> dressed for the mountain

> Nan, the Wiser

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/25/03 4:44:56 PM Eastern Standard Time, kneeleee@...

writes:

> Oh my, doesn't belong there. He isn't that bad at school is he?

>

Well, he hasn't killed anyone yet......

He invades personal space, spits, lies, and just generally causes a ruckus.

Last year he threatened to shoot some kid, and told another kid " Let's throw

the cumputer through the window and run out and never come back. For THAT

one he got suspended. So, yeah, he's pretty bad.

<heavy sigh>

Connie

[Guest guest]

You know, before I sent to STARS when he was in sixth grade, I went and

observed the class myself, BUT I also paid the neuropsychologist who did all the

testing to go and observe there, too. I paid her to observe two programs --

STARS

and a private school. She felt that STARS would address his needs better than

the

private school. Their technology was better, they had a better student-teacher

ratio, and other stuff that I don't remember right now.

Liz

kneeleee@... wrote:

> In a message dated 3/25/03 1:09:34 PM Eastern Standard Time, lbohn@...

> writes:

>

> > What's MBH??? Nobody should get screamed at until they cry. That's inhumane.

> > Poor kid. Are

> > his parents making a stink? Can you keep your ds out of the MBH class? What

> > are your

> > options? Don't let them run you over,

> > Liz

> >

>

> It's a class for severe mental/behavioral problems.

> " Mental/Behavior Handicap " I don't know how he got there except his mother

> said they were told it was " the only place " to put a kid with AS. And then

> she couldn't get him out. She just got him out a few weeks ago and he's in

> regular ed now. But frankly, the damage is done, IMO.

>

> Yes, I can keep Royce out of there. Once in grade 7, they had put him in a

> " LD " class that turned out to be more like a behavior disorder class (no

> learning, mostly messing around.) It took me a while to figure it all out

> because Royce doesn't tell me what is wrong. Eventually I figured it out and

> we got him out of there in the 2 seconds it took me to yell, " He's out of

> this class! " I won't let him go to any sped classes without a detailed

> " report " on the class anymore.

>

> But I would keep him at home before I let him go to a class like that.

> :::shudder::: I have a hard time figuring out why this is okay for kids who

> are behavior problems but some people tell me they are really bad kids who

> spend half their time in juvenile hall. Still....

> Roxanna ô¿ô

>

> Autism Happens...

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi to all,

I got the story today. This kid did pour lotion all over s cards, and

while he was picking them up he was telling him how lucky he was that before

treatment he would have messed him up for doing this to his cards. The next

thing he knew the kid was hitting and punching him. He threw against the

window sill corner which left a huge goose egg on the back of s head.

put this kid in a head lock until he calmed down then went and told the

staff. and the kid both got the same punishment. The reason is the

center has a no hands on policy, and also could have hurt the kid also,

broken his neck. is taking this as a lesson learned. Will tell you about

the IEP meeting after I answer all the email s. Barbara

kneeleee@... wrote:In a message dated 3/24/03 8:17:02 AM Eastern Standard

Time,

barb2743@... writes:

> Hello, child you don't get rewarded by not doing your school work. Why did

> I have children? Life was so much easier when I was single. Had a nice,

> clean apartment, good job, time to soak in the tub when needed etc. I

> should have listened to my Mom lol. Barbara

>

Oh my, Barbara!! Hang in there!! I hope is not seriously hurt. How

will they replace his card collection? Those are expensive! I know my ds

would have done the same as in that situation.

Roxanna ô¿ô

Autism Happens...

[Guest guest]

Connie thanks for the reply. It helps to know thay my son is not alone in his

reactions. Barbara

Dawahooz@... wrote:In a message dated 3/24/03 8:56:31 AM Eastern Standard

Time, kneeleee@...

writes:

> Hello, child you don't get rewarded by not doing your school work. Why did

> >I have children? Life was so much easier when I was single. Had a nice,

> >clean apartment, good job, time to soak in the tub when needed etc. I

> >should have listened to my Mom lol. Barbara

> >

>

> Oh my, Barbara!! Hang in there!! I hope is not seriously hurt. How

> will they replace his card collection? Those are expensive! I know my ds

> would have done the same as in that situation.

> Roxanna ô¿ô

>

>

Yep, MY too! If you mess with is cards, you're DEAD.

Since my has been hospitalized for psych issues, I can tell you that

the adolescent units are WOEFULLY uneducated about Autsim issues. THey have

NO CLUE that what, to them, is uncooperative and oppositional behavior is

PART of the child's diagnosis. Something that isn't " treatable " but

uncontrollable. BTDT. was disciplined, basically for BEING

" Asperger-ish " . One of the staff actually had the cajones to tell me that

she " was trained " in dealing with Aspergers. I told her she better go back

and get more training.

I TOTALLY sympathize with you. Having worked in a psychiatric setting

myself, I know that many of the behaviors that our kids have ARE disruptive

to the therapeutic millieu, and can cause problems for the other residents. <

sigh> There needs to be a place that ADS kids can get treatment for their

pyschiatric comorbidites in a safe manner, without having to be MORE upset by

the other things that happen.

Throwing aggressive personalities in with our (mostly) OCD personality kids

is a recipe for disaster.

Hope I said that so everyone could understand. I'm not as well spoken

(written? LOL) as I would like to be.

Connie

[Guest guest]

LMAO thanks Barbara

Kathy Winters <rwinters@...> wrote:Why did I have children? Life

was so much easier when I was

single. Had a nice, clean apartment, good job, time to soak in the

tub when needed etc. I should have listened to my Mom lol. Barbara

Barbara,

I know how you feel, believe me! With two sons with neurological

conditions whose biggest symptoms revolve around their behavior, I've

had weeks like yours too, when it feels like life is just spinning

out of control and it's all you can do to keep from losing it

yourself. I have a cat that I used to breed years ago (in her

younger days). I started breeding and showing her before the kids

came along. Once - years ago - after a particularly harrowing

meeting at the school, I walked out to see a neighbor who

said, " Kathy, you look beat. " I just rolled my eyes and

said, " Donna, I should have stuck with breeding cats. " To this day

she repeats that line to me and tells me how funny she thought it

was. Hmmmm...I wasn't trying to be funny!! LOL! Well, ok, yes I

was, but many a truth is said in jest!!!

Kathy

[Guest guest]

Can I join you? lol Barbara

sjparvin@... wrote:It ain't easy! I consider myself someone who can handle

a HUGE amount and

still function, yet.... there are days that I have defintely met my match

with my three children/husband!!! On those hard days I dream of my little

cottage house decorated just the way I want with a beautiful garden out

back.....peaceful, tranquil, and calm, and everything left just where I put

it! Also, in this fantasy I can eat whatever I want and NEVER gain!

Whatever it takes to get me through.

Hang in there..... Personal TLC needed

Johanna

In a message dated 3/24/2003 8:48:12 AM Pacific Standard Time,

rwinters@... writes:

>

> Why did I have children? Life was so much easier when I was

> single. Had a nice, clean apartment, good job, time to soak in the

> tub when needed etc. I should have listened to my Mom lol. Barbara

>

>

> Barbara,

> I know how you feel, believe me! With two sons with neurological

> conditions whose biggest symptoms revolve around their behavior, I've

> had weeks like yours too, when it feels like life is just spinning

> out of control and it's all you can do to keep from losing it

> yourself. I have a cat that I used to breed years ago (in her

> younger days). I started breeding and showing her before the kids

> came along. Once - years ago - after a particularly harrowing

> meeting at the school, I walked out to see a neighbor who

> said, " Kathy, you look beat. " I just rolled my eyes and

> said, " Donna, I should have stuck with breeding cats. " To this day

> she repeats that line to me and tells me how funny she thought it

> was. Hmmmm...I wasn't trying to be funny!! LOL! Well, ok, yes I

> was, but many a truth is said in jest!!!

>

> Kathy

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Chris. Yes the other kid got the same punishment as , however it

was my son who slept in the hallway for the night. said it was because

they wanted to make sure that he was safe. i think it was because of the head

injury. He still has a very tender goose egg on the back of his head. I barely

brushed my hand on his hair and he was in tears. They have been icing it and

giving him motrin for the pain. They did have him see the MD first thing Monday

am. Barbara

<@...> wrote:Barbara,

I think any kid would have reacted with some type of anger. Hope

that other got knocked down to level one also!

I know you've having a REALLY bad day/time of it now but I actually

had to smile. You sounded so similar to some of my past events with

everything happening " at once " and, well - I'm still here! You'll

survive but try and find some breathing room for yourself today, do

something nice for yourself!!

- single mom, 3 sons -

> In a message dated 3/24/03 8:17:02 AM Eastern Standard Time,

> barb2743@y... writes:

>

> > Hello, child you don't get rewarded by not doing your school

work. Why did

> > I have children? Life was so much easier when I was single. Had

a nice,

> > clean apartment, good job, time to soak in the tub when needed

etc. I

> > should have listened to my Mom lol. Barbara

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Barbara,

Absolutely!

I think all of us need a much deserved RETREAT!!!! Now, if we just had the

money I have the perfect spot! LOL

Johanna....woke up by her children at 5 this a.m. and is STILL not a happy

camper! Ugh!

n a message dated 3/25/2003 6:57:36 PM Pacific Standard Time,

barb2743@... writes:

> Can I join you? lol Barbara

>

>

> sjparvin@... wrote:It ain't easy! I consider myself someone who can

> handle a HUGE amount and

> still function, yet.... there are days that I have defintely met my match

> with my three children/husband!!! On those hard days I dream of my little

> cottage house decorated just the way I want with a beautiful garden out

> back.....peaceful, tranquil, and calm, and everything left just where I

> put

> it! Also, in this fantasy I can eat whatever I want and NEVER gain!

> Whatever it takes to get me through.

> Hang in there..... Personal TLC needed

> Johanna

>

>

[Guest guest]

Barbara, head injuries can be serious! They should have taken him to

emergency immediately ...

/ 4makelas@...

Way, Way Up in Northern Ontario

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/25/03 9:28:46 PM Eastern Standard Time,

barb2743@... writes:

> staff. and the kid both got the same punishment. The reason is the

> center has a no hands on policy, and also could have hurt the kid

> also, broken his neck. is taking this as a lesson learned. Will

> tell you about the IEP meeting after I answer all the email s. Barbara

>

Geez, it doesn't really seem fair as I think he sounds like he did a great

job! They should provide more supervision.

Roxanna ôô

What doesn't kill us

Makes us really mean.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/26/03 6:26:21 AM Eastern Standard Time,

4makelas@... writes:

> Barbara, head injuries can be serious! They should have taken him to

> emergency immediately ...

>

I agree totally with !

Roxanna ô¿ô

Autism Happens...

[Guest guest]

Yes I agree, I will be calling the director about this and the staff telling

that he couldn't talk to me about it over the phone. Barbara

kneeleee@... wrote:In a message dated 3/26/03 6:26:21 AM Eastern Standard

Time,

4makelas@... writes:

> Barbara, head injuries can be serious! They should have taken him to

> emergency immediately ...

>

I agree totally with !

Roxanna ô¿ô

Autism Happens...