AS baby

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/9/2003 12:10:48 PM Pacific Standard Time,

rwinters@... writes:

> But, boy would I have

> missed out on a wonderful adventure. Yeah, it's stressful at times.

> But my heart is soooo much bigger now. I love so much more deeply, I

> have so much more compassion. I have more confidence. I even have

> more patience, though it doesn't seem like it on some days. And they

> have challenged me to be highly creative.

>

> If I could change one thing for my Aspie son, I would take away his

> pain. It most breaks my heart to see him with no friends. And, being

> a mother, I want my son to be happy. But we grow through our pain.

> So, I have learned to trust that, if I am growing through this, so is

> he. I wouldn't give him back now. Nor my other son. And, while I

> wouldn't go so far as to say that I would have another child, I would

> certainly be willing to have THEM again.

>

Well said, Kathy!!!

[Guest guest]

> I know this is not the most appropriate forum for this question,

but

> I cannot find a better one. My AS partner and I have been told by a

> geneticist there is a 5% chance that if we have a baby, it will

have

> AS. This seems to be the standard statistic. Has anyone been given

> similar advice and do you think this is an accurate percentage. I

> would have thought it would have been a lot more. My partner's

> grandfather may have had AS and there is a cousin who may possibly

> have it. No-one else. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Interesting discussion. I've read the original question and the

responses. Very interesting.

First of all, how are we to know if the odds are 5% or 100% since we

don't even know for certain that it is genetic? Furthermore, if it

is genetic (and as someone else pointed out, anecdotal evidence

certainly points to at least a partially genetic cause), we don't

know which gene or genes cause it. So, really how can we know. Have

they any way of knowing if you might carry those genes too? I don't

have any aspies in my family. Neither does my husband, as far as we

can see. My husband has some aspie tendancies, but is not an

Aspie.

When I decided to have kids, I knew my husband was a bit socially

awkward, but a darn nice guy. Neither of us was athletic. I am very

emotional - high highs and low lows (very funny, hot temper at times,

frustrate easily), but he is very steady and predictable. I liked

that. I figured he'd offset my temper when we had kids. We were

both excellent students and rule followers. Neither of us ever got

into trouble. Both of us are highly intelligent, though in different

ways. So, I concluded that we would have nice kids who were very

smart, would do well in school, but would never be models... and not

to plan on any athletic scholarships. Well, the reality has been,

DEFINITELY no athletic scholarships or models (that much was right),

one son with Asperger Syndrome, one son with ADHD/Tourette's Syndrome

and one daughter who is just what I expected. Each of them was the

most beautiful, unique and charming baby and toddler and I love them

all completely, and with a passion that only another mother

(apologies - parent) can understand.

So, if you want a child, the odds don't really matter, do they?

Whether the odds are 5% or 95%, if you get an Aspie child, you still

will have a unique and special child because every Aspie is

different. And once that child is born, the odds won't matter. There

is no way to guarantee a perfect child for ANYONE. Life is a

gamble. The decision you must make is, do you want a child enough to

accept whatever fate hands you? If so, than have a baby. If not,

then maybe you should consider getting a puppy instead. That is not

a judgement. Not everyone is cut out to raise a special needs

child. ly, if I had been told what was coming before I'd had

and fallen in love with my children, I would have run for the hills

screaming. No way would I have had children. But, boy would I have

missed out on a wonderful adventure. Yeah, it's stressful at times.

But my heart is soooo much bigger now. I love so much more deeply, I

have so much more compassion. I have more confidence. I even have

more patience, though it doesn't seem like it on some days. And they

have challenged me to be highly creative.

If I could change one thing for my Aspie son, I would take away his

pain. It most breaks my heart to see him with no friends. And, being

a mother, I want my son to be happy. But we grow through our pain.

So, I have learned to trust that, if I am growing through this, so is

he. I wouldn't give him back now. Nor my other son. And, while I

wouldn't go so far as to say that I would have another child, I would

certainly be willing to have THEM again.

Kathy

[Guest guest]

Rose,

I believe my husband is AS and we have two children. One 6 yr old boy with

AS, and a 5 yr old girl that is " normal " . They both are the absolute light

of my life. Anytime you have a child, there are risks. You have to decide

if the joy you will get from having a child is worth the risk you are taking

that it won't be " perfect " . Who is perfect?? I am not being sarcastic. The

point I am making is this, some children have AS, some children have

muscular dystrophy, some children have cancer, some have cleft palet or

webbed toes or wine stain birthmarks right on their face, some have heart

conditions and some are born completely healthy and get hit by a car when

they are 4 and wind up being in a wheelchair for the rest of their life.

There are no guarantees in life. There are gifts, blessings and tragedies.

Some tragedies are an accident and some are caused. Look at Walsh of

America's most wanted, I am sure he never thought his child would be

abducted and murdered, but things happen. So, here is my advice. Sit down

with your partner and decide if you are ready to have a baby. Please keep in

mind, it is very challenging and time consuming. The first 6 months after

the baby is born, are going to be filled with love for this new little

person, complete exhaustion from sleep deprivation and your life is going to

change. Make sure that you both are ready for that. My Aspie husband

thought he was, and was completely thrilled at the idea of a baby. We had

the baby, and decided to have another. 3 months later, I was pregnant with

our second child. About 2 months after that, my husband discovered that

babies are AN AWFUL LOT OF WORK. And was kind of bored with the whole " baby

thing " . In typical Aspie fashion, he found a new " interest " that was

encompassing and I was left holding the bag, er - i mean the um baby, the

baby, with another one on the way. So, decide if you two are going to work

together on being a family before the family is there. You are not just

having a baby, you are making a commitment to be a family. It is not all

trips to the zoo and the park, it is late night feedings, poopy diapers,

throw up and snotty noses, potty training, wiping butts, cleaning up messes,

etc., etc., etc., and I personally, wouldn't trade it for the world.

Because it is also about love, and lotioning the little hiney, and the feet

and arms and back, and watching in wonderment as your baby discovers his

toes, and hearing " momma " and " I love you " for the first time. It is about

Joy and love, sorrow and pain and you have to take the good with the bad. It

is a leap of faith. There are good days and bad days. And that is what we

call life. One thing you don't want to do is have a baby to " fix " your

relationship. I am not implying your relationship needs fixing. I am just

telling you this in case. A lot of men, not all of them, but a lot of them

become very jealous of the baby. You have to spend most of your time,

feeding, changing, and bathing, preparing bottles, washing clothes,

adjusting your schedule to fit the baby's needs, if you both work, daycare

and who will pick up and all the added expenses. But then after all the

work and you are tired and just want to lay down a few minutes and " Daddy "

wants his time. And you are exhausted. And they get mad (not all - but some

men become more demanding after a baby is born because they want the

attention that they used to get) It is a much bigger job than most people

realize. So please keep all this in mind when deciding if you want to have a

baby. And once you make the comittment to become a parent, there is no such

thing as half way. You have to do it all the way. Right through pre-k and

8th grade, puberty, teen situations, dating, on and on. It is a job, a very

demanding job, but with rewards that you can't even imagine. There is

absolutely no way to describe the feeling of being a mother until you

actually are one. It is more than worth the pain and the time and going

without so your baby can have things. It is a love like no other. I love my

husband very much, but my kids, it is just different. I wouldn't die for my

husband, (who would be here to take care of the kids?? <g>) but I would die

for one of my children in order to save them. I just wanted to make sure

you had some info before you made your decision. Take care, Dawn

I know this is not the most appropriate forum for this question, but

I cannot find a better one. My AS partner and I have been told by a

geneticist there is a 5% chance that if we have a baby, it will have

AS. This seems to be the standard statistic. Has anyone been given

similar advice and do you think this is an accurate percentage. I

would have thought it would have been a lot more. My partner's

grandfather may have had AS and there is a cousin who may possibly

have it. No-one else. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Guest guest]

What Dr. Tsatsanis said yesterday at the conference regarding genes and

Autism spectrum was that there are 2 thru 100 genes that are susceptible to

inheriting the autistic tendencies.

She was an extremely intelligent, well informed researcher that - I think

this part is in the right order - went to Harvard and is now working in the

research departement of the child study team at Yale.

She was amazing.

OK, hope that helps.

Dawn

[Guest guest]

> 5% isn't a big possibilty....basically you can also look at it that you

have

>

> a 95% chance of having a neruo-typical (NT) baby.

5% is 100% when it is YOUR child.........

Fania

[Guest guest]

Thank you to everyone for their feedback on my question. And lots of

interesting debate too. It has given us plenty to think about. Thanks

again.

[Guest guest]

I know that if you already have one child on the spectrum there is a risk of

having another child on the spectrum. In my family the genetic component is

very strong. Here is a link that might help out as far as information

regarding finding the genetic component. There has been tons of research

lately in this area. Pam

<A

HREF= " http://www.ama-assn.org/sci-pubs/amnews/pick_01/hlsc0917.htm " >Autism/Genet\

ics</A>

[Guest guest]

Angel!!! Hi long time no " talk " . How's doing? It sounds like

Spencer is doing well in his current program. Have you read the Shettles

book about determining your baby's sex? I have heard from alot of people who

tried the method and it worked. Nice to see you back here. I've been busy

too and don't get on as much as I would like.

[Guest guest]

I don't think anyone really knows what the chances are. I had to answer this

question, when my then 16 year old daughter wanted to know if her younger

brother having aspergers meant that she will some day have an autistic child.

How do I answer such a tough question? We just have the two of them and in all

likelihood he may not have children. So, for me to get to be a grandmother I do

hope my daughter will some day have children. But ... yes it runs in our

family, this I know without a doubt. I'm sure I talked around the answer.

Having children, we all venture into the unknown. You just never know what

you'll be dealing with as a parent, but it is always worth any struggle and

sacrifice. I told her that, of course I wish he didn't have aspergers and that

all of our lives were easier, but I never wish we didn't have him. Then I think

I pointed out how much worse our situation could be. I try to think back to

before kids, and wonder if I'd do things differently if I'd known there was a

chance of autism. Since I know my son and love him so much that it hurts I just

don't think I can be objective.

Beth

> > I know this is not the most appropriate forum for this question,

> but

> > I cannot find a better one. My AS partner and I have been told by a

> > geneticist there is a 5% chance that if we have a baby, it will

> have

> > AS. This seems to be the standard statistic. Has anyone been given

> > similar advice and do you think this is an accurate percentage. I

> > would have thought it would have been a lot more. My partner's

> > grandfather may have had AS and there is a cousin who may possibly

> > have it. No-one else. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

>

> Interesting discussion. I've read the original question and the

> responses. Very interesting.

>

> First of all, how are we to know if the odds are 5% or 100% since we

> don't even know for certain that it is genetic? Furthermore, if it

> is genetic (and as someone else pointed out, anecdotal evidence

> certainly points to at least a partially genetic cause), we don't

> know which gene or genes cause it. So, really how can we know. Have

> they any way of knowing if you might carry those genes too? I don't

> have any aspies in my family. Neither does my husband, as far as we

> can see. My husband has some aspie tendancies, but is not an

> Aspie.

>

> When I decided to have kids, I knew my husband was a bit socially

> awkward, but a darn nice guy. Neither of us was athletic. I am very

> emotional - high highs and low lows (very funny, hot temper at times,

> frustrate easily), but he is very steady and predictable. I liked

> that. I figured he'd offset my temper when we had kids. We were

> both excellent students and rule followers. Neither of us ever got

> into trouble. Both of us are highly intelligent, though in different

> ways. So, I concluded that we would have nice kids who were very

> smart, would do well in school, but would never be models... and not

> to plan on any athletic scholarships. Well, the reality has been,

> DEFINITELY no athletic scholarships or models (that much was right),

> one son with Asperger Syndrome, one son with ADHD/Tourette's Syndrome

> and one daughter who is just what I expected. Each of them was the

> most beautiful, unique and charming baby and toddler and I love them

> all completely, and with a passion that only another mother

> (apologies - parent) can understand.

>

> So, if you want a child, the odds don't really matter, do they?

> Whether the odds are 5% or 95%, if you get an Aspie child, you still

> will have a unique and special child because every Aspie is

> different. And once that child is born, the odds won't matter. There

> is no way to guarantee a perfect child for ANYONE. Life is a

> gamble. The decision you must make is, do you want a child enough to

> accept whatever fate hands you? If so, than have a baby. If not,

> then maybe you should consider getting a puppy instead. That is not

> a judgement. Not everyone is cut out to raise a special needs

> child. ly, if I had been told what was coming before I'd had

> and fallen in love with my children, I would have run for the hills

> screaming. No way would I have had children. But, boy would I have

> missed out on a wonderful adventure. Yeah, it's stressful at times.

> But my heart is soooo much bigger now. I love so much more deeply, I

> have so much more compassion. I have more confidence. I even have

> more patience, though it doesn't seem like it on some days. And they

> have challenged me to be highly creative.

>

> If I could change one thing for my Aspie son, I would take away his

> pain. It most breaks my heart to see him with no friends. And, being

> a mother, I want my son to be happy. But we grow through our pain.

> So, I have learned to trust that, if I am growing through this, so is

> he. I wouldn't give him back now. Nor my other son. And, while I

> wouldn't go so far as to say that I would have another child, I would

> certainly be willing to have THEM again.

>

> Kathy

>

[Guest guest]

Ditto, Beth.

Robin

From: cedar rock homes <weebjohnson@...>Subject: ( ) Re: AS baby Date: Tuesday, March 1, 2011, 10:22 AM

I don't think anyone really knows what the chances are. I had to answer this question, when my then 16 year old daughter wanted to know if her younger brother having aspergers meant that she will some day have an autistic child. How do I answer such a tough question? We just have the two of them and in all likelihood he may not have children. So, for me to get to be a grandmother I do hope my daughter will some day have children. But ... yes it runs in our family, this I know without a doubt. I'm sure I talked around the answer. Having children, we all venture into the unknown. You just never know what you'll be dealing with as a parent, but it is always worth any struggle and sacrifice. I told her that, of course I wish he didn't have aspergers and that all of our lives were easier, but I never wish we didn't have him. Then I think I pointed out how much worse our situation could be. I try to think back to before kids, and wonder if I'd do things

differently if I'd known there was a chance of autism. Since I know my son and love him so much that it hurts I just don't think I can be objective.Beth> > I know this is not the most appropriate forum for this question, > but > > I cannot find a better one. My AS partner and I have been told by a > > geneticist there is a 5% chance that if we have a baby, it will > have

> > AS. This seems to be the standard statistic. Has anyone been given > > similar advice and do you think this is an accurate percentage. I > > would have thought it would have been a lot more. My partner's > > grandfather may have had AS and there is a cousin who may possibly > > have it. No-one else. Any help would be greatly appreciated.> > Interesting discussion. I've read the original question and the > responses. Very interesting. > > First of all, how are we to know if the odds are 5% or 100% since we > don't even know for certain that it is genetic? Furthermore, if it > is genetic (and as someone else pointed out, anecdotal evidence > certainly points to at least a partially genetic cause), we don't > know which gene or genes cause it. So, really how can we know. Have > they any way of knowing if you might carry those genes

too? I don't > have any aspies in my family. Neither does my husband, as far as we > can see. My husband has some aspie tendancies, but is not an > Aspie. > > When I decided to have kids, I knew my husband was a bit socially > awkward, but a darn nice guy. Neither of us was athletic. I am very > emotional - high highs and low lows (very funny, hot temper at times, > frustrate easily), but he is very steady and predictable. I liked > that. I figured he'd offset my temper when we had kids. We were > both excellent students and rule followers. Neither of us ever got > into trouble. Both of us are highly intelligent, though in different > ways. So, I concluded that we would have nice kids who were very > smart, would do well in school, but would never be models... and not > to plan on any athletic scholarships. Well, the reality has been, > DEFINITELY no

athletic scholarships or models (that much was right), > one son with Asperger Syndrome, one son with ADHD/Tourette's Syndrome > and one daughter who is just what I expected. Each of them was the > most beautiful, unique and charming baby and toddler and I love them > all completely, and with a passion that only another mother > (apologies - parent) can understand. > > So, if you want a child, the odds don't really matter, do they? > Whether the odds are 5% or 95%, if you get an Aspie child, you still > will have a unique and special child because every Aspie is > different. And once that child is born, the odds won't matter. There > is no way to guarantee a perfect child for ANYONE. Life is a > gamble. The decision you must make is, do you want a child enough to > accept whatever fate hands you? If so, than have a baby. If not, > then maybe you should

consider getting a puppy instead. That is not > a judgement. Not everyone is cut out to raise a special needs > child. ly, if I had been told what was coming before I'd had > and fallen in love with my children, I would have run for the hills > screaming. No way would I have had children. But, boy would I have > missed out on a wonderful adventure. Yeah, it's stressful at times. > But my heart is soooo much bigger now. I love so much more deeply, I > have so much more compassion. I have more confidence. I even have > more patience, though it doesn't seem like it on some days. And they > have challenged me to be highly creative. > > If I could change one thing for my Aspie son, I would take away his > pain. It most breaks my heart to see him with no friends. And, being > a mother, I want my son to be happy. But we grow through our pain. > So, I have

learned to trust that, if I am growing through this, so is > he. I wouldn't give him back now. Nor my other son. And, while I > wouldn't go so far as to say that I would have another child, I would > certainly be willing to have THEM again.> > Kathy>

[Guest guest]

That sounded like a very good reply you gave your daughter.

Kids have fears like this too when someone in the family gets

cancer or diabetes.

Some kids are the type that think nothing bad is every going to

happen to them and others are more worriers.

Pam

> > > I know this is not the most appropriate forum for this question,

> > but

> > > I cannot find a better one. My AS partner and I have been told by a

> > > geneticist there is a 5% chance that if we have a baby, it will

> > have

> > > AS. This seems to be the standard statistic. Has anyone been given

> > > similar advice and do you think this is an accurate percentage. I

> > > would have thought it would have been a lot more. My partner's

> > > grandfather may have had AS and there is a cousin who may possibly

> > > have it. No-one else. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

> >

> > Interesting discussion. I've read the original question and the

> > responses. Very interesting.

> >

> > First of all, how are we to know if the odds are 5% or 100% since we

> > don't even know for certain that it is genetic? Furthermore, if it

> > is genetic (and as someone else pointed out, anecdotal evidence

> > certainly points to at least a partially genetic cause), we don't

> > know which gene or genes cause it. So, really how can we know. Have

> > they any way of knowing if you might carry those genes too? I don't

> > have any aspies in my family. Neither does my husband, as far as we

> > can see. My husband has some aspie tendancies, but is not an

> > Aspie.

> >

> > When I decided to have kids, I knew my husband was a bit socially

> > awkward, but a darn nice guy. Neither of us was athletic. I am very

> > emotional - high highs and low lows (very funny, hot temper at times,

> > frustrate easily), but he is very steady and predictable. I liked

> > that. I figured he'd offset my temper when we had kids. We were

> > both excellent students and rule followers. Neither of us ever got

> > into trouble. Both of us are highly intelligent, though in different

> > ways. So, I concluded that we would have nice kids who were very

> > smart, would do well in school, but would never be models... and not

> > to plan on any athletic scholarships. Well, the reality has been,

> > DEFINITELY no athletic scholarships or models (that much was right),

> > one son with Asperger Syndrome, one son with ADHD/Tourette's Syndrome

> > and one daughter who is just what I expected. Each of them was the

> > most beautiful, unique and charming baby and toddler and I love them

> > all completely, and with a passion that only another mother

> > (apologies - parent) can understand.

> >

> > So, if you want a child, the odds don't really matter, do they?

> > Whether the odds are 5% or 95%, if you get an Aspie child, you still

> > will have a unique and special child because every Aspie is

> > different. And once that child is born, the odds won't matter. There

> > is no way to guarantee a perfect child for ANYONE. Life is a

> > gamble. The decision you must make is, do you want a child enough to

> > accept whatever fate hands you? If so, than have a baby. If not,

> > then maybe you should consider getting a puppy instead. That is not

> > a judgement. Not everyone is cut out to raise a special needs

> > child. ly, if I had been told what was coming before I'd had

> > and fallen in love with my children, I would have run for the hills

> > screaming. No way would I have had children. But, boy would I have

> > missed out on a wonderful adventure. Yeah, it's stressful at times.

> > But my heart is soooo much bigger now. I love so much more deeply, I

> > have so much more compassion. I have more confidence. I even have

> > more patience, though it doesn't seem like it on some days. And they

> > have challenged me to be highly creative.

> >

> > If I could change one thing for my Aspie son, I would take away his

> > pain. It most breaks my heart to see him with no friends. And, being

> > a mother, I want my son to be happy. But we grow through our pain.

> > So, I have learned to trust that, if I am growing through this, so is

> > he. I wouldn't give him back now. Nor my other son. And, while I

> > wouldn't go so far as to say that I would have another child, I would

> > certainly be willing to have THEM again.

> >

> > Kathy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I have to piggy back on what Beth said also.

ne

>

>

> From: cedar rock homes <weebjohnson@...>

> Subject: ( ) Re: AS baby

>

> Date: Tuesday, March 1, 2011, 10:22 AM

>

>

>  

>

> I don't think anyone really knows what the chances

> are. I had to answer this question, when my then 16 year old

> daughter wanted to know if her younger brother having

> aspergers meant that she will some day have an autistic

> child. How do I answer such a tough question? We just have

> the two of them and in all likelihood he may not have

> children. So, for me to get to be a grandmother I do hope my

> daughter will some day have children. But ... yes it runs in

> our family, this I know without a doubt. I'm sure I

> talked around the answer. Having children, we all venture

> into the unknown. You just never know what you'll be

> dealing with as a parent, but it is always worth any

> struggle and sacrifice. I told her that, of course I wish he

> didn't have aspergers and that all of our lives were

> easier, but I never wish we didn't have him. Then I

> think I pointed out how much worse our situation could be. I

> try to think back to before kids, and wonder if I'd do

> things

> differently if I'd known there was a chance of autism.

> Since I know my son and love him so much that it hurts I

> just don't think I can be objective.

>

> Beth

>

>

> > > I know this is not the most appropriate forum for

> this question,

> > but

> > > I cannot find a better one. My AS partner and I

> have been told by a

> > > geneticist there is a 5% chance that if we have a

> baby, it will

> > have

>

> > > AS. This seems to be the standard statistic. Has

> anyone been given

> > > similar advice and do you think this is an

> accurate percentage. I

> > > would have thought it would have been a lot more.

> My partner's

> > > grandfather may have had AS and there is a cousin

> who may possibly

> > > have it. No-one else. Any help would be greatly

> appreciated.

> >

> > Interesting discussion. I've read the original

> question and the

> > responses. Very interesting.

> >

> > First of all, how are we to know if the odds are 5% or

> 100% since we

> > don't even know for certain that it is genetic?

> Furthermore, if it

> > is genetic (and as someone else pointed out, anecdotal

> evidence

> > certainly points to at least a partially genetic

> cause), we don't

> > know which gene or genes cause it. So, really how can

> we know. Have

> > they any way of knowing if you might carry those genes

> too? I don't

> > have any aspies in my family. Neither does my husband,

> as far as we

> > can see. My husband has some aspie tendancies, but is

> not an

> > Aspie.

> >

> > When I decided to have kids, I knew my husband was a

> bit socially

> > awkward, but a darn nice guy. Neither of us was

> athletic. I am very

> > emotional - high highs and low lows (very funny, hot

> temper at times,

> > frustrate easily), but he is very steady and

> predictable. I liked

> > that. I figured he'd offset my temper when we had

> kids. We were

> > both excellent students and rule followers. Neither of

> us ever got

> > into trouble. Both of us are highly intelligent,

> though in different

> > ways. So, I concluded that we would have nice kids who

> were very

> > smart, would do well in school, but would never be

> models... and not

> > to plan on any athletic scholarships. Well, the

> reality has been,

> > DEFINITELY no

> athletic scholarships or models (that much was right),

> > one son with Asperger Syndrome, one son with

> ADHD/Tourette's Syndrome

> > and one daughter who is just what I expected. Each of

> them was the

> > most beautiful, unique and charming baby and toddler

> and I love them

> > all completely, and with a passion that only another

> mother

> > (apologies - parent) can understand.

> >

> > So, if you want a child, the odds don't really

> matter, do they?

> > Whether the odds are 5% or 95%, if you get an Aspie

> child, you still

> > will have a unique and special child because every

> Aspie is

> > different. And once that child is born, the odds

> won't matter. There

> > is no way to guarantee a perfect child for ANYONE.

> Life is a

> > gamble. The decision you must make is, do you want a

> child enough to

> > accept whatever fate hands you? If so, than have a

> baby. If not,

> > then maybe you should

> consider getting a puppy instead. That is not

> > a judgement. Not everyone is cut out to raise a

> special needs

> > child. ly, if I had been told what was coming

> before I'd had

> > and fallen in love with my children, I would have run

> for the hills

> > screaming. No way would I have had children. But, boy

> would I have

> > missed out on a wonderful adventure. Yeah, it's

> stressful at times.

> > But my heart is soooo much bigger now. I love so much

> more deeply, I

> > have so much more compassion. I have more confidence.

> I even have

> > more patience, though it doesn't seem like it on

> some days. And they

> > have challenged me to be highly creative.

> >

> > If I could change one thing for my Aspie son, I would

> take away his

> > pain. It most breaks my heart to see him with no

> friends. And, being

> > a mother, I want my son to be happy. But we grow

> through our pain.

> > So, I have

> learned to trust that, if I am growing through this, so is

>

> > he. I wouldn't give him back now. Nor my other

> son. And, while I

> > wouldn't go so far as to say that I would have

> another child, I would

> > certainly be willing to have THEM again.

> >

> > Kathy

> >

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