its an ill omen to speak about detachment

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry too, andrew.

> people don't undertstand it and i won't again.

[Guest guest]

,

I know what you mean about things happening for reasons that seem to make us

rethink what we believe/say. It happens to me all the time. I almost see it as

an internal self regulating device striving to keep us honest with ourselves, or

to at least see things from different perspectives. I am always in search to

understand things in a way my brain can process them. Must admit sometimes I

just have to let things go because I do realize " understanding " some things is

out of my ability-usually a good thing. Such as horrid acts like abuse and all.

But before you even sent this email out, I was wondering what you meant about

detachment and empathy can go together? I guess I see them as opposites, but

know I'm missing something here! Kind of like to have true empathy, (not just

" that's too bad " feeling), then you couldn't be detached. You speak of having

this detachment ability as part of who you are, but I sense you are far from it.

I sense you are here helping others because you are attached, and have the basic

fundamental instinct to want to help others. I'm thinking you must get some

satisfaction out of knowing you are helping people too, or else you would have

given up on this by now. And all this is what we should all strive to do in our

lives each and every day. Kind of like the ultimate reward: by giving and

helping others we get it back in turn-so unselfish.

I guess my point is that I don't really think you are all that much different in

your heart than you think you are. Perhaps that's society to thank for making

you feel this way. Not putting the blame there, just to note it is a variable.

How long ago did you chelate yourself? Has the experience changed your thoughts

and emotional capability?

Take care,

Kari

its an ill omen to speak about detachment

people don't undertstand it and i won't again.

i backed the vehicle to go picking some black cherries and plums,

normally i give a slight roll of the vehicle to let any kitten

sitting on the tyres get off but i forget and just rolled back with a

thud that i knew must have hit something and got out and the kitten i

liked most ran off to the bushes but i knew by the amount of the thud

that it was internally injured.

the plums and cherries were beautfiful and i sort hoped that the

vigour of its running away meant that it was ok but i knew.

when i got back it was in the open but had probably not moved far

from where it bolted to, that saddest part was that it was as bright

as button as a kitten and able to infer things and knew that i would

put it down so tryed to escape.

it is buried near where it played and waited outside the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/2/04 5:51:37 AM, jaga68ot@... writes:

<< At least you helped it when you could. >>

Yes. And it takes courage to put down a sick animal.

Nell

[Guest guest]

-

Just thought I'd throw this out for discussion regarding detachment

and empathy. According to Woodrow , Lincoln embodied the

mysterious interrelationship between detachment and its seeming

opposite, love. ...

He noted that " Lincoln seemed so in contact with matters that he

could define things other men could not define, and yet he was

detached. He did not look upon it as if he were part of it. He was

constantly salting all the things he said with with and humor. .

which showed detachment. "

And yet, Neeleman in The American Soul, points out that Lincoln

was deeply moved by all the dying men, " moved as no one in a place of

power could afford to be, he could not drift into the callousness of

the sort of officialdom that sees men only as pawns to be shifted

here and there and " expended " at the will of others. "

Sometimes, answers lie in the coupling of opposites. Lincolns was

empathetic and detached--he could back up enough to see the whole

picture when needed--and yet his heart never stopped feeling. I

think as Moms and Dads we are most effective when we are the same

way. . not reactive (detached) so that we can act wisely and calmly

with our eye on the long run, and yet loving with our hearts in every

minute. Ok, that's all.

-- In , " sljmmb " <sljmmb2133@a...>

wrote:

> Hi ,

>

> I rarely post messages, but I wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry

> about your kitten.

>

> And about the pecanbread group, I just want to add that your posts

> are among the ones I pay the most attention to. You keep it up.

> You make us think. I appreciate you.

>

> Blessings,

>

> SL

>

>

> > people don't undertstand it and i won't again.

> >

> > i backed the vehicle to go picking some black cherries and plums,

> > normally i give a slight roll of the vehicle to let any kitten

> > sitting on the tyres get off but i forget and just rolled back

> with a

> > thud that i knew must have hit something and got out and the

> kitten i

> > liked most ran off to the bushes but i knew by the amount of the

> thud

> > that it was internally injured.

> >

> > the plums and cherries were beautfiful and i sort hoped that the

> > vigour of its running away meant that it was ok but i knew.

> >

> > when i got back it was in the open but had probably not moved far

> > from where it bolted to, that saddest part was that it was as

> bright

> > as button as a kitten and able to infer things and knew that i

> would

> > put it down so tryed to escape.

> >

> > it is buried near where it played and waited outside the door.