Guest guest Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 I am experiencing progress with my daughter that has presented me with a real challenge. She is throwing typical tantrums (yea!) more often with some nontypical and I am at a loss as to how to approach discipline. I just don't know what approach will make sense to her if any. I just don't want to allow her to talk back to me or anyone else just because of the challenges she has in her young life. Does anyone know of a book that addresses this area or have any suggestions. I always look forward to everyone's responses. Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 > > > I am experiencing progress with my daughter that has presented > me with a real challenge. She is throwing typical tantrums (yea!) > more often with some nontypical and I am at a loss as to how to > approach discipline. I just don't know what approach will make > sense to her if any. I just don't want to allow her to talk back to > me or anyone else just because of the challenges she has in her > young life. Does anyone know of a book that addresses this area or > have any suggestions. I always look forward to everyone's responses. > > Jill HI Jill, It's a toughy that one, Hard to know what is a bad reaction or a tantrum. I always try to figure out if something is really freaking Amber my 11yr old tantrum thrower(puberty onset taken into consideration also lol)either recently or even something building up that hasn't been addressed (private worries) If I,m sure its unnecessary rudeness I find sometimes just time alone to consider a social story I've told her relating to situation as much as possible (not always poss) withholding activities or treats works well also. All of these methods have been found after much heartrending in our house I can tell you lol.Its really hard as each situation can be difficult if you dont have full story too,Worries often dont get expressed do they. I used to have a great book called " Sometimes I worry " about all typical & atypical worries kids & mums & dads have ,Cant remember press details sorry, Used to be good talking point to iron out things with Amber. We have done SO much social story work in this house for so many yrs,Seems to be whats worked best for us.(excluding suppliments) What about having a safe place for her to express her frustration (if thats what it is at time)like space with no furniture and lots of big cusions to flop on and thump. followed by quiet time then together time for snackand casual disscution about conserns? Dont know how old or how affected by autism your daughter is so dont know if any of this helps hope so. Best wishes ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 Oh my, Jill! Such a sensitive issue! Allie's teacher last year had us use phrases like " hands down, feet down " when she would hit and kick, to no avail. After weeks of trying it, I began a swat on the thighs, as she's still in a pullup. It had to be just hard enough for the pain to register, but after about the third time, I saw her start to kick and then stop. It was as if she was remembering what would happen. She rarely does it anymore, she's four. I'm not suggesting everyone should spank by any means, but for us, in that one situation, it seems we had to have a negative reinforcer to get it to click that she can't haul off and whack someone or kick because she doesn't like the answer we are giving her. My thought is that the negative outcome from the behavior has to be greater than the positives she gets from her behavior. For example, when Allie gets in the toilet water I used to give her a bath. I found that if she would ask for a bath and I told her no, she would go and play in the toilet water. I finally (I know it sounds gross, but I try to keep it sanitized) had to let her stay in her toilet- soaked clothing after I washed her hands. She had a fit because she thought she'd get a bath. The negative of staying in the yucky clothes was bad enough that she stopped playing in the toilet. Good luck and let us know what you find that works! HTH, Debi > > > I am experiencing progress with my daughter that has presented > me with a real challenge. She is throwing typical tantrums (yea!) > more often with some nontypical and I am at a loss as to how to > approach discipline. I just don't know what approach will make > sense to her if any. I just don't want to allow her to talk back to > me or anyone else just because of the challenges she has in her > young life. Does anyone know of a book that addresses this area or > have any suggestions. I always look forward to everyone's responses. > > Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2003 Report Share Posted October 8, 2003 In a message dated 10/7/03 10:43:21 PM, j_d_fisk@... writes: << Does anyone know of a book that addresses this area or have any suggestions. >> I think Jane 's " Positive Discipline " is wonderful, the best. There's a whole series -- for younger kids, teenagers, etc. She makes the goal of the parent to be firm, kind, and respectful, and the goal of the child to be capable, responsible, and respectful. With my AS son, nothing else would have worked. And it feels a lot better than nagging and punishing and the rest of it. Also " How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids WIll Talk " by Adele Faber is terrific too. Nell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2003 Report Share Posted October 8, 2003 > > > I am experiencing progress with my daughter that has presented > me with a real challenge. She is throwing typical tantrums (yea!) > more often with some nontypical and I am at a loss as to how to > approach discipline. I just don't know what approach will make > sense to her if any. Basically trial and error for me. I do spank when my kids do something that is a safety issue. Otherwise they go to their room, sit in a time-out chair, or if it is something immediately correctable, I make all my kids " practice " . They HATE this LOL, so it works very well! For example, if they slam a door, I say " we need to practice that " , then they are required to nicely close the door 5 times. If they say something bad to me, they must practice a more appropriate response, usually " yes mommy, I will do that right now " . For whining, they must go to their room and whine at their toys until all the whine is out, then they can come back out and talk to me with their regular voice. For hitting etc, they are required to go to their room for a few minutes, then apologize to the injured sibling. Good luck. Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2003 Report Share Posted October 8, 2003 Do you know the author of the book Sometimes I worry. We sure need tha book for ! What age is good to start social stories? Migdalia(DEE) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2011 Report Share Posted July 9, 2011 I only have 1 child and when he was younger and sick it was difficult! I had to make myself understand that if I did not discipline then he would grow up to be a terror. You just have to treat him equally or your other 2 are gonna be bitter. When he does not feel well I am sure there are signs you notice and at those times you might be a little more lenient towards a melt down, but if he is feeling well you have to just do it. It is not easy and there were many days I had melt downs myself alone in my room. I was a single parent for 5 years so I had to do it alone. Please do not let his illness hinder you from making him grow into the man you want him to be. Showing your other children he is not getting away wit things they did not get away with will also help nurture those relationships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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