Is there Love after WLS????

January 23, 2004

I have been lurking for a couple of years. I find the sharing very

helpful and informative. I had Open RNY w/gallbladder removal on

Feb. 27, 2001. I've lost 200 lbs. But for the last year I've only

lost about 20 lbs. Iwondered if anyone has had this experience. I

thought if I shared it, maybe it would help me to heal. I am in

therapy too. I got into a relationship with an older man (now 61)

I'm 49, 4 months after surgery. He was a professor at a University

and he had just gotten divorced after a very bad situation. I

thought he was handling it. But as time went on I found all he could

do was berate his ex and talk about their dreams...lost. He also had

trouble with me sexually, he said I was his type. After being with

him for 2 1/2 years on and off...2 weeks ago, after I'd lost most of

my weight with him, he said he still wasn't attracted to me sexually

and that we could never have sex and he never wanted to marry again

and yet... he still loved me! I left him that day! I know I should

have gotten out of this a long time ago. But, I got attached. I had

been overweight since I was 6 years old. No matter what I do, or how

much weight I lose, I still can't seem to feel " good enough " . I want

a partner who loves me, but, even with the panniculectomy, I've still

got a lot of hanging skin that I'll never have the money to get

surgery for. I feel like this issue of my body has really become so

big! I am afraid I will be alone the rest of my life and I'm turning

50 in March. Its very scary. I want to feel worthwhile. I'm doing

my best to work at this. I just wondered if anyone else has

experience this feeling and if you think it is the " weight " issue, or

other? Is it possible to have hanging skin on arms and legs and

saggy boobs and still have a man look into your eyes and see your

beauty? I can only hope that somehow I can find the beauty in my own

eyes. I know that's the 1st answer...but then what?? I've been

alone most of my life and I weight over 408 lbs before surgery. I

haven't been married since my 20's and I want to be. I wish there

was a singles dating place for WLS'rs I think maybe they'd

understand better... Any ideas, suggestions, caring..... thank you

for letting me share!

Solara

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